SHARE
Who is making the white people at Fox News sad right now? This guy.
Who is making the white people at Fox News sad right now? This guy.

By now you know the story. San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick is refusing to stand for the national anthem during pre-game ceremonies, in protest against an America that currently isn’t all that friendly of a place for people of color. Surprisingly, many Americans have opinions on this, ranging from “He can say what he wants, as this is America after all” to “I see what he is doing, but that is disrespectful to veterans” to “MAYBE HE SHOULD GO BACK TO BLACKISTAN WHERE HE WAS OBVIOUSLY BORN, IF HE DOESN’T LOVE AMERICA.”

Even more surprisingly, Donald Trump has weighed in — he’s usually so shy! — and he falls more into the latter camp, the “Maybe he should find a country that works better for him” camp, adding, “Let him try, it’s not gonna happen.” This is because America is the greatest country in the world for all things, even though it needs to be Made Great Again, because it’s on Trump’s hat. If you’re sensing some mixed signals there, on whether America is currently #Great, that’s because your brain is not as nuanced as Trump’s brain is. (LOL!)

So, we were wondering what America’s greatest patriots, those who take a paycheck from the Fox News organization, had to say about this. The answer: Oh, just things. They are saying stuff and things. All brilliant, patriotic, non-racist things. Obviously.

Brian Kilmeade pretty sure Kaepernick’s parents are white, so shouldn’t he be acting like one of #TheNiceBlacks?

Oh yes, Brian Kilmeade — alternately known as “The Rapey One” even though it turned out to be Steve Doocy the whole time!!! — had a thinky inside his head cavity, and it was almost as profound as the time he couldn’t figure out why sharks insist on living in the ocean all the time whenever they want. You see, Colin Kaepernick is mixed race, and his parents are white. Doesn’t that mean he has a God-given responsibility to be as white as possible, and moreover, doesn’t that mean he should be grateful, as a biracial person, to live in a country where he can be raised by Real White Americans? That is what Brian Kilmeade would like to know:

… [L]et’s be honest, he was adopted by two white parents, he was well supported. He’s a great athlete. I’m sure he worked hard. I also heard his grades were great. But I don’t know what in his experience that could be so negative. But let’s start from the place, we all love the country and let’s try to make it better …

Brian Kilmeade is literally sitting there thinking “White parents, good grades, SOUNDS LIKE A WHITE PERSON TO ME!” He literally cannot imagine how Kaepernick’s status as a man with black and European heritage might give him a different perspective, because Brian Kilmeade is very stupid and he literally cannot imagine most things.

Tucker Carlson wishes Colin Kaepernick would stop being a such a melodramatic goddamned Oprah about everything.

Tucker Carlson — alternately known as “The Dumb One Who Is Also Kinda Rapey” — has thoughts, and surprise, they are not far off from Brian Kilmeade’s thoughts. However, instead of just being content to note that Colin Kaepernick has been surrounded by white people, and therefore should act like a Good White Person, Carlson adds the dimension of how Kaepernick, like Oprah and President Obama, has lots of money dollars, which, in a racist white person’s brain, means he should act like a Good White RICH Person. Why can’t Kaepernick leave childish and reverse racist things like “being black” behind? That is what Tucker Carlson would like to know:

CARLSON: [W]hen did rich people become victims? When did people stop laughing at the idea that someone who makes 10 million dollars a year can get up, “I’m a victim.” The president, “I’m a victim.” Oprah, —

MARA LIASSON: He didn’t say he was a victim. He just said he was protesting.

CARLSON: He did. In that clip, he didn’t. No, he said, “I felt the sting of it, too.” No, you’re an overpaid athlete. The next time some overpaid entertainer or athlete or politician stands up and says, “boo, hoo, people are mean to me because x, y, and z”, laugh in their face, including this guy.

Tucker Carlson, warrior for the common man! Laugh at the rich lady Oprah, who couldn’t have possibly ever experienced racism in her fight to the top. Laugh at Obama, who was obviously born with a silver spoon in his mouth, in Kenya or wherever. Laugh at Colin Kaepernick, who gets paid many ameros to play football, even when he was a little mixed race boy growing up probably, and therefore is now immune to any understanding of what black folks go through in America.

We should note that Tucker’s not so poor himself, and probably has a few dollars stashed in his butthole from his long media career (and maybe from his prep school upbringing too!), so we guess this means we should “laugh in his face” next time he cries about gays and transgenders making him feel weak and small in the bathroom, because that is a thing he says, “Boo hoo, people are mean to me, because X, Y and Z” about.

Sean Hannity pissing his Underoos, because he’s pretty sure Colin Kaepernick is a secret Islamic.

Finally, and in third place where he belongs, Sean Hannity — alternately known as “The Dumbest Person At Fox” — is just doing his normal thing, where he sees a headline in the paper like GOAT AND HORSE ARE FRIENDS, assumes the Islamic State is somehow involved, and proceeds to have terrified wet bowel movements the rest of the evening. Hannity heard Kaepernick secretly shape-shifted into an Islamic during the off-season, AND he believes the things the others believe about how Kaepernick is a Richie Rich, AND he thinks the man should know his fucking place because America is SUPER NICE to the blacks, because we don’t even buy and sell them anymore.

Say words, Hannity:

You know what this guy is? He’s a spoiled brat, out of touch, super rich athlete. He, in his own life, has suffered no oppression, he’s free to share all the money he wants, he lives in the greatest nation on earth. You know — this is a nation that has overcome slavery, overcome evil and injustice, righted wrongs, you know, the Civil Rights Act, the Voting Rights Act, all these people that marched with Martin Luther King Jr., and made the country a better place.

This country fought a civil war, in part over slavery, you know — so, this is a country that beat back fascism, Nazism, imperial Japan, and communism, but he sees no good in it. It’s like Michelle Obama’s comment …

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH Michelle Obama BLAH BLAH BLAH get to the part about the Muslims, for God’s sake!

I don’t know, I’ve never been able to confirm this, I looked earlier today, that he might have converted to Islam in the off-season. […]

Who’s — who gave me this article today? I don’t even know where I got it. Anyway, it said during the off-season he may have converted to Islam, and he’s also engaged with Black Lives Matter, and I guess hip hop radio personality DJ Nessa Diab? Who’s that? I’ve never heard of these people.

And that, right there, is Sean Hannity playing wingnut bingo with his own G-spot and winning, oh my god, he’s winning so hard right now!

For the record, Snopes has checked into Hannity’s claim about Colin Kaepernick converting to Islam, and has rated it as “Fuck Off, Sean Hannity,” which is another way of saying “FALSE.”

So there you have it. Three very dumb, very racist men, talking out their asses about a thing they do not understand. In other words, a typical day at Fox News.

[Opposing Views / Media Matters / Media Matters again]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Nounverb911

    Tucker Carlson? Isn’t he the one that still has his mother dress him every day while living in her basement?

    • Little Lulu

      That would explain his unnatural affinity for bowties, unless they’re a super secret signal to his sex partners (“Don’t bother coming over tonight – I have hemorrhoids again.”)

  • AngryKatie

    See, I keep telling you Kilmeade is every bit as stupid and repulsive as the rest of them. He’s just not as loud.

  • Nounverb911

    “who gave me this article today? I don’t even know where I got it.”
    –Sean Hannity

    The Alzheimer’s is strong in this one!

    • Iam Reading

      He has been hearing from people. The best, bigly, most luxurious people.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      And that, ladies and gentlemen, is Fox News Factchecking in a nutshell.

  • “Did the scary black person make you feel bad about America? We at Fox are here to assure you that America is still great, except when it’s being run by a scary black person or liberal, and that it’s okay to feels the angry at the scary black people.”

  • Msgr_Vagenda

    When did Denmark start sending us its Islamized fanatics?

    • Señor Skwerl

      998 AD. (Actually could have been since the Vikings and Mooslooms had frequent contact.)

      • Msgr_Vagenda

        That would explain our problems with Vinlandistan.

  • Señor Skwerl

    So what they are saying is Colin Kæpernick is traitor to his socio-æconomic class! And a Secret Muslim man.

    • PubOption

      They might like to tie a ligature round his neck.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Secret Muslim man!
      Secret Muslim man!
      They’ve given you ten million,
      And taken away your right to express your discomfort with the rampant injustice and prejudice currently impeding America’s progress toward real greatness.

  • calliecallie

    “…he said, “I felt the sting of it, too.” No, you’re an overpaid athlete. The next time some overpaid entertainer or athlete or politician stands up and says, “boo, hoo,,,”

    Tucker Carlson can fuck right off with his nonsense. Let’s seem him say that to Dwayne Wade, FFS!

  • Nounverb911

    Kilmeade seems upset that he hasn’t been sued for sexual harassment yet.

    • Señor Skwerl

      Victim: “I want to sue him, but he was so pathetic in his attempts that I felt sorry for a man who will only get it by paying hookers more than they usually charge.”

    • Msgr_Vagenda

      “That was a sexual organ??!”

      • TJ Barke

        Only in the technical sense.

    • arglebargle

      I have a feeling he tries, and just gets laughed at.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Come on. This is the guy that got locked in a car and couldn’t get out.

  • TJ Barke

    Don’t like ‘Merica? Better just leave. Don’t dare try to use our political system to try to fix the things you find problematic, that’s for commies.

    • Nounverb911

      But, but Trump doesn’t like America and he’s trying to change it….

      • TJ Barke

        Is ‘Merica great or does it need to be made great again, Donnie?

  • dslindc

    Relevant (also add child abuse and animal cruelty to the list of cans):

    https://twitter.com/jelenawoehr/status/770392692521959424

    • Spotts1701

      Yup. Adrian Peterson whips his son bloody with a switch – “Well, that’s just the way he was raised.” Colin Kaepernick refuses to stand for the anthem – “Kick him out of the league! We have no place for ingrates like him!”

  • Antonin Dvorak

    I wonder how these detractors would react if they found out that “where he came from” is that frightening terrorist stronghold of… Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

    • TJ Barke

      Home of Lightning Fast VCR Repair?

      • OddMan

        At least they have an In-N-Out Burger™. I’ve driven through Big T a couple of times.

    • calliecallie

      Gene Wilder was from Milwaukee too. It’s a sign! wAKE UP, SHEEPLE!11!!

    • Spotts1701

      And then he grew up in the godless hellhole of…Turlock, California.

  • Sedagive

    Evan Hurst, this is a rant of great beauty.

    Thank you.

  • Pickle Truther (AntiDerpomeme)

    Only poor guys that have 100% African ancestry are allowed to protest inequality so then we can threaten to kick them out of the country. Otherwise they are sekret Muslins and also should be kicked out of the country. Got it.

    • Donkey Option

      But remember, if they do protest, they are actually just thugs who are using the protests as a cover for their illegal activity and looting and everything. Shown by science.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Objection! Wingnuts don’t believe in science. Maybe it’s in the Bibble.

        • I Only Like Cats

          It is for all they’ve every read of it.

  • Pinkham’s Law

    I’ll confess: the thought “He’s got a multi million dollar contract, WTF does he have to complain about?” did go through my mind. It lasted maybe 30 seconds before it was replaced with “WTF is wrong with you? He hasn’t always been a rich athlete, and if public figures don’t stand up (or, not stand up, in this case) for what’s right, who will? Good for him!”

  • Callyson

    But I don’t know what in his experience that could be so negative.

    That would sort of prove Colin Kaepernick’s point, asshole…

    • Swampay

      Hannity knows! “He, in his own life, has suffered no oppression,” So there.

  • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

    I don’t know, I’ve never been able to confirm this, I looked earlier today, that he might have converted to Islam in the off-season. […]

    Who’s — who gave me this article today? I don’t even know where I got it. Anyway, it said during the off-season he may have converted to Islam, and he’s also engaged with Black Lives Matter, and I guess hip hop radio personality DJ Nessa Diab? Who’s that? I’ve never heard of these people.

    That’s some damn fine journamalism there Hannity! With folks like you digging out the truth, the devious, the dastardly, the corrupt and the criminals will have no place to hide!

    Oh, btw, Mr. Trump’s campaign manager is on line 2. They want to set up another town hall for next week.

  • Oneofthebobs

    Colin Kaepernick is pissing off all of the right people. Nothing wrong with that.

  • Bill Slider

    Ah, the good old days, when everyone knew the one and only true fear, the Russians are coming, the Russians are coming.

    • Donkey Option

      Funny thing is that this time the Russians really are coming, but those who used to be scared of them are welcoming them with open arms. It’s really weird.

      • Blank Ron

        That’s because they were scary Communists before. Now that they’re scary fascists it’s okay.

  • Skeptic Rising

    I’m pretty sure that Sean Hannity is a secret Idiotic. I heard that many people are saying that he was seen wearing Idiotic attire and entering an Idiotic temple one weekend.

    • TJ Barke

      So, going to his job, then?

      • Skeptic Rising

        Exactly. :-)

    • Blank Ron

      Pfft, hardly a secret.

  • DinkyBossetti

    Yes, people with any sort of privilege should never use that privilege to speak up for those without it. It’s un-American!

    • Blank Ron

      Punching down with Make America Great Again!

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “I would literally like to subscribe to your newsletter.”
      — John Birch

  • bubbuhh

    All the Fux mens should sit on it and not in a good way. Why the fuck do THEY play the national anthem at sportsball games anyway? Duz that mean interwebz sites like Wonkette should play the national anthem every time we sign on? Oh, please.

  • Callyson

    The next time some overpaid entertainer or athlete or politician stands up and says, “boo, hoo, people are mean to me because x, y, and z”, laugh in their face, including this guy.

    A Republican who wants to tell rich people to stop complaining? That’s a first…

    …oh, wait, he conveniently left CEOs and investment bankers off the list. Never mind!

    • dshwa

      The Black before “overpaid entertainer or athlete or politician” is silent. Like a black is supposed to be.

  • Marceline

    Hannity seems to be the only guy at Fox who hasn’t sexually harassed anyone. I guess that leaves him more time to double down on stupid.

    • Nounverb911

      Either that or he’s hiding something in his closet…

    • Mr. Blobfish

      He thinks girls are icky and have cooties.

    • chicken thief

      Don’t be so quick with that assumption.

      ~ Allen Combes

  • Vincent Ricola

    Athlete makes political statement based on a personal connection to the issue being protested. – rabblerabblerabblerabble unAmerican rabblerabblerabble

    Presidential candidate has defined financial ties to countries that spend their time hacking and staging major disinformation attacks designed to hurt America – GREAT AMERICAN MAKING THINGS GREAT AGAIN!

    • TJ Barke

      Naw, those are conspiracy theories, but did you know that Hitlery has a secret disease? !

      • Vincent Ricola

        She coughed TWO SEPARATE TIMES yesterday!

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          Somebody call the waaaaaambulance!

      • Nounverb911

        Womenitis?

      • chicken thief

        She also too email servered all America’s sekrits over to Anthony Wiener so he could sexted them to Trump supporters with nice titties.

  • arglebargle

    I don’t know, I’ve never been able to confirm this, I looked earlier today, that Hannity might have been sucking elephant dongs in the off-season. […]

    • TJ Barke

      Pretty sure he does that all year round.

    • Vincent Ricola

      You know, I’ve heard some very smart people on the internet saying that Hannity sucks elephant dongs. Really great, smart people are saying these things.

      • TJ Barke

        I’ve just read that too!

        • Blank Ron

          So did I. It must be true!

          • TJ Barke

            They won’t let you lie on the internet!

          • Nounverb911

          • therblig

            one of my finalist captions in the late great radosh anti-caption contest.

      • sw19womble

        You only have to look at him. I mean, there’s something in his face that, I don’t know, suggests it. Someone should look into it.

      • BearGHAZI

        I’ve sent investigators to look into the dong thing and they are turning up amazing stuff. You won’t believe it, folks.

    • chicken thief

      Add that question to Andrea’s List of Questions for Sean To Answer During The Lie Detector Test.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      It’s on this piece of paper – I don’t know who handed me this – that Hannity not only sucks elephant dongs, he likes it.

  • fawkedifiknow

    Kaepernick is too wealthy to speak about how poor people are getting the short end of the stick all the goddamned time, but Donald Trump isn’t?

    • Blank Ron

      Betcha a cookie that Kaepernick’s net worth is higher than the Annoying Orange’s.

      • Spotts1701

        And he got it by virtue of talent, instead of getting it when daddy kicked.

    • Nounverb911

      Trump has experience in giving poor people the short end of the stick…

      • Beowoof14

        Many women he has been with have also received a short stick.

      • Treg Brown

        Are you speaking of Trump having sex with them?

  • JohnBull

    This is gold for the right. Symbolism over substance and a blah person to hate.

  • Callyson

    Shorter Hannity:

    “I don’t know if what I am about to say is true and I don’t know where the fuck my source came from, but…”

    • Blank Ron

      ‘And I don’t care.’

    • Nockular cavity

      “I’ve just been handed this, what is it? Is it my ass, or is it a hole in the ground? I can’t tell.”

      • OddMan

        Neither can we.

      • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

        “Let me help you out there Sean.” *Scans item* “Okay, judging by the inflamed hemorrhoids, I’d say it’s your ass. Btw, has anyone got a gallon of brain bleach?”

        • M Dubs

          Brain Bleach: Regular ole’ bleach can take entire minutes to dissolve those right wing statements out of your head. Don’t let the agony continue for even a second longer. Use Brain Bleach.

    • Spotts1701

      “And now that I’ve said it, then ‘it’s out there’ for discussion.”

    • dshwa

      And then they wonder why Hillary doesn’t want to do a press conference with them.

      • I Only Like Cats

        How are they a news organization, again?

        • Celtic_Gnome

          They put the word in their name. Can’t argue with logic like that.

  • Señor Skwerl

    this is a nation that has overcome slavery,
    We have? Human trafficking is a huge problem here.

    overcome evil and injustice,
    We have? Have you watch Frontline sometime in the last 20 years?

    righted wrongs, you know, the Civil Rights Act, the Voting Rights Act,
    By righted wrongs, you mean we carved them up to be meaningless?

    This country fought a civil war, in part over slavery, you know
    In part? Really? It was all about slavery. 100%

    this is a country that beat back fascism, Nazism, imperial Japan, and communism,
    By allying ourselves to communists, showing up late to the party and then fighting a bunch of horrible misguided wars over it to fight communism.

  • Donkey Option

    During the Iraq War (under George W) I refused to stand to the national anthem or pledge of allegiance. I didn’t agree with my country. No one cared because I am not famous, but I think that if you don’t agree with it, you shouldn’t do it. There are some religions whose members don’t stand for those things either. People not standing for the pledge or anthem will not destroy the country. And if our country is so weak that it could be destroyed this way, it deserves to fall. Seriously, fuck those people will their faux patriotism and belief that our country is so pathetic and weak that it can’t survive any criticism or protest.

    • sw19womble

      Make America Great Again – Remove All Dissent.

      • clubseal

        And whatever you do, don’t criticize the military (or do some sort of protest that is apparently hurtful to the military’s feelings), because just like the founders said, “Always bow to the government and its agents in the armed forces.”

        • Thaumaturgist

          Furthermore, don’t fund the VA the way we used to, because deficits. And besides, do sports ballets get all that free stuff when they become casualties?

    • Spotts1701

      I’ve tried to explain – I grew up with Jehovah’s Witnesses in my classes at school, and they don’t stand or recite the pledge either. That’s been their right for over 70 years, but today if you aren’t standing and shouting your allegiance at the top of your lungs, well…then you must be punished for it!
      Every once in a while, one of my friends on FB will publish that political cartoon where a teacher shames a child for not standing for the pledge by bringing in a paralyzed veteran. Always makes my blood boil.

      • clubseal

        Shouldn’t the student say, “Well, he’s not standing either.”
        I’ll show myself out.

      • cmd

        So after all the hoopla about the Olympics gymnast who didn’t put her hand over her heart, someone posted a FB pic that had two black athletes on the left side of the pic laughing and two white athletes on the right side with hands over their hearts. They all had medals on, I think, although I found it odd that there were 4 of them and that one of the black people was a guy and all the others were women. The caption was “No.” I think it must have been some kind of photoshop or something because I never heard any yakking about whatever it was supposed to be showing. Also, too, it was posted by someone who is pretty religious/conservative/love it or leave it.

  • dshwa

    “This country fought a civil war, in part over slavery, you know…”
    And then Hannity got kicked out of the alt-right for admitting the truth about the Civil War.

    • TJ Barke

      He’s a cuck, or whatever!

  • Logic of Color

    This people literally cannot conceive of being concerned about the rights and well-being of people you don’t personally know.

    • DinkyBossetti

      Or the rights and well-being of people who are not yourself.

  • chicken thief

    What blahs and wimminz just don’t seem to get is that us old middle class white guys know exactly what ‘minorities’, like those are even a thing, need.

    Just cover the spread next week, Colin, and leave the political stuff to us, mkay?

  • the Vagenda Manologues

    I always so enjoy it when Little Lord Birdseye shares his thoughts about the little people from his perch at Trust Fund PLC.

    • elan

      The Hello Kitty avatar is a nice touch.

      • the Vagenda Manologues

        :)

  • FrenchFriar

    Trump is pissed this distraction is giving him only 50% of the free air time he deserves for being Trump.

  • DerrickWildcat

    Kaepernick has Bible stuff tattooed allover him.

    • arglebargle

      The definition of irony.

      Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD.

      Leviticus 19:28

      • DerrickWildcat

        Yeah, but that’s another story.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        “But remember to whack a piece of your dick off, ’cause that’s totes different.”
        — Yahweh

        • Lascauxcaveman

          “THE LORD works in mysterious ways his wond’rous surgical penis modifications to perform.”

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Playboy had a great cartoon of Moses standing on the mountain with the stone tablets, looking up in the air.

          The caption was, “Let me get this straight. You want us to cut off the ends of our dicks?”

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Is Fox News a 24 hour channel? Shouldn’t they go off air and play the national anthem on the way down like even the humblest middle American UHF channel does?

  • Lascauxcaveman

    I am an enjoyer of the sportsball telecasts and think Kaepernik is taking a, brave, principled and wildly misguided stand here. (Or sit, as it were) He means well, I guess.

    • sw19womble

      Well, he’s certainly got the conversation going. Agitprop works!

      • Lascauxcaveman

        That’s true. And I am old enough to remember the black power salute controversy at the ’72 Olympics, when I was thinking “OK, they’re black, they’re powerful, they’re proud of that, what’s the big deal?” While most of white America was losing it’s shit. I guess you just have figure out what outrages the squares, then go with that.

        • Blank Ron

          It’s a LONG list these days. Plenty of freedom of expression available.

        • Once&futureFred

          I was 11, I remember thinking “what, blacks can’t be proud? what do you want them to be, ashamed?” It was weird.

          • I Only Like Cats

            Yes. They still want that.

  • clubseal

    And the people making the biggest stink over this? The very same ones who are always talking about how people take offense at everything these days. The dissonance is real.

    • kaydenpat

      True. How does one athlete not standing for the national anthem impact anyone’s life? It’s a non-issue.

  • say wha

    I think I liked Brian, Tucker and Sean better when they stuck to comedy…

    • Vagendajohn

      They’re all Shemps.

      • Blank Ron

        At best they can aspire to be Shemp.

        • Grizz1y

          They are all “fake Shemps” from the period while Shemp was dying and the Ed Wooded their way through making films any way.

    • SDGeoff

      What an affront to the Stooges!

  • baconzgood

    I’m wondering how wingnuts would have reacted if he didn’t stand because of lesbian farmers in the heart land?

    • chicken thief

      Or because the NFL is mean to that nice Christian boy, Tim Tebow, by not letting him be a starting QB.

    • kaydenpat

      Heads would have exploded.

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    The moment unarmed white male trust fund babies get shot by police with no repurcussions, will be the moment Tucker Carlson fails to salute the flag.

    • kaydenpat

      Not unless the person shot is Conservative. I doubt he cares about all a white males unless they’re from his political group.

  • These things always remind me of my third grade teacher who would lock my one Jehovah’s Witness classmate in the closet every morning when we had to say the Pledge of Allegiance.

    • sw19womble

      People are weird.

    • Spotts1701

      Boy, am I glad our classrooms in school didn’t have closets.

      • cmd

        We had a room called the cloak room but I don’t think it had doors.

        • Blank Ron

          Probably not many cloaks either, unless you went to Hogwarts.

          • I Only Like Cats

            My younger sister had a cloak she actually wore. She doesn’t pass for white at all and she got bullied for it so she started drawing 666 and saying hail Satan and other things that frightened her classmates into submission. (My sister is awesome.)

          • Lascauxcaveman

            I like her. She’s got spunk, that one. :)

          • lroom

            Smart girl.

      • Really? I know our classroom had one. We couldn’t use it though, it was too full of Republicans.

    • the Vagenda Manologues

      Yeah, because you want to shame the one kid in the class who definitely adheres to their religious beliefs in case the other kids get ideas.

      • By way of contrast, my fourth grade teacher was an old bachelor lady who taught us to sing songs about FDR and The New Deal.

        New Deal! New Deal!
        Everybody gonna get a New Deal!
        Hitch your wagon to a star
        With FDR!
        ‘Cause he’s bringing us
        A Brand New Deal!

        • the Vagenda Manologues

          My first grade teacher taught us boer marching songs. To this day I have no idea why.

          • HanBarbara

            Do you mean “Marching to Pretoria?” We had a teacher who would take out her guitar and teach us folk songs, the dirty hippie.
            Although I’m still traumatized by all the animals who got ground up into sausage in Dunderbecks Machine. The 60’s were a more innocent time.

          • the Vagenda Manologues

            They were. And I went to a very, very hippie school.

          • I Only Like Cats

            My sister had a teacher who took them on a field trip to a boat and taught them sailor songs (yes, including that one about a drunk sailor).

          • Lascauxcaveman

            A quick jump down the internet rabbit hole takes us to Praetoria (and interestingly enough, on Praetoria, approaching from both sides of the Boer conflict).

            http://www.flatinternational.org/template_volume.php?volume_id=150

          • the Vagenda Manologues

            It was to, when we sang it. To this day I don’t know why she thought that was a culture we should be exposed to.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Many of my teachers were nuns. Their primary message appeared to be, “No girl would ever do that unless a boy forced them to.”

    • kaydenpat

      Wow. That sounds abusive and illegal.

    • Señor Skwerl

      We had alternate words we used. Something about loyalty to the gay agenda. I pledge and allegiance to the fags who control the United States…

      …with sodomy and anal for all!

    • TheGrandWaz00

      My sixth grade teacher had our JW put her head down on her desk. The shame was just implied.

  • Vagendajohn

    The only real question remaining is, will he be a Sunni or a Shia.

    • Señor Skwerl

      ISIS. That is the only sect of Muslimism.

    • Doug Langley

      With their luck, Hannity and Carlson will probably think you’re talking about Sonny and Cher.

  • Thaumaturgist

    Am I the only one who wants to see Kaepernick’s long form?

  • TheGrandWaz00

    I see Hannity, Carlson, and Kilmeade have taken their usual stance on the issues.
    http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s–qvttRWlV–/oxh6jv5xdp9li4gew3hc.gif

    • BrianW

      Kinda have to disagree with your cartoon Waz00. In the cartoon, the guy at least saw the point go over his head. No evidence of that in the Fox crew.

  • JVisconti

    Imagine a 1773 FoxNews decrying the criminal acts of progressive thugs violating property rights by throwing tea into Boston harbor.

    • kaydenpat

      Or decrying abolitionists in the early 1800s.

  • Beowoof14

    Hey those guys on Fox are all about the freedom, till someone tries to use it.

    • kaydenpat

      Freedom but only for people on their side. You know? The only true Americans.

    • See, dumb libs, Freedumb is suppose to be treated like one of those 90’s Red HOT exclusives 1st issue “collectors items” comic books. You suppose to wrap it in mylar and stick it in airtight longboxes, where it is bragged about but never ever read or enjoyed (maybe it’d help if freedom had a die-cut gatefold holographic foil cover?)

  • baconzgood

    I don’t know who gave me the article but I researched it today and Sean may have blown a goat.

    • theblackdog

      It would be irresponsible not to speculate on this.

    • Treg Brown

      Lots of people, good people, are talking about it.

    • chicken thief

      I heard him say, specifically, that he had been ‘kidding around’ earlier.

      • SDGeoff

        There ya go! All we need to hear.

      • Doug Langley

        I see what ewe did there.

    • Señor Skwerl

      If you don’t find it I will write one.

    • SDGeoff

      Not again.

    • HanBarbara

      We’re just asking the question- could he be a goat blower?

      • WhyFelicia

        Sean Hannity fellates goats? It’s the first time I have heard about the possibility of Hannity performing oral sex on goats, but it’s probably not the last!

        • Celtic_Gnome

          You spend anytime on the internet, and you’re eventually going to hear about Hannity blowing goats. It’s as predictable as cat videos.

    • BrianW

      I saw it on the Internet, so it must be true, right?

    • M Dubs

      ‘People Have Been Saying’ it, so it must be true. Bigly.

    • lroom

      But was Trump and NAAMBLA involved cause I’ve been hearing and or reading things.

  • Wild Cat

    Can we get the lead out of the potatoes at various Fox propaganda outfits?

    • Rick Hill

      Fox can’t actually get qualified help unless they have applicants take lead supplements for at least a year. Used to be easier, damn regulations!!

      • Wild Cat

        Perhaps Cardinal Dolan and his “Naked Boys Singing” assistants can be of aid to Hannity and O’Reilly?

  • Rick Hill

    These guys should check their black privilege. Look at the good things they get. They walk in a store and people literally follow them around. I wish I could get customer service like that. Or what happens if there’s trouble. The police show up right away, ready for action. Who doesn’t want security like that? I can’t pay for that kind of protection. And the helpful strangers? They walk down the street and if they look at someone they get asked “Can I help you with something? “You need something “Bro”?” Guy should show this country some love….

    • cmd

      Yeah like the cops who showed up when the black homeowner called 911 to report a robbery and shot HIM, the other day.

      • BrianW

        Rick said “police…ready for action.” He didn’t say ready for the CORRECT action.

    • WhyFelicia

      Seriously. The ingratitude is astounding.

  • Some naughty boy need a good water boarding!

  • Treg Brown

    “I see what he is doing, but that is disrespectful to veterans”

    Because standing up and singing a song is so much more respectful to our veterans than funding the programs to provide psychological and medical services they need when returning home from duty.

    • Señor Skwerl

      As my dad used to say, “I didn’t fight in the war for a song or a piece of cloth. I fought for freedom.”

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Duh! What says “I care about veterans” more than a 99 cent bumper sticker made in China that says “I support the troops”?

      • HanBarbara

        Don’t forget the magnetized yellow ribbon. That shows real commitment

      • PubOption

        We have a Repub running for Governor in Missouri, on a platform of what he did for the Veterans (although I can’t work out what he did for them). I haven’t heard any policies from him, and suspect that he doesn’t have any.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fs7vwqyqZWk

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Mine says “I supprot the troops.” You must have a better dollar store than I do.

    • Or you know, NOT making them (repeatedly) risk life and limb in pointless wars.

  • Crystalclear12

    I am not going to have a liver by November. It’s going to be dissolved in vodka and outrage.
    Shakes head and opens vodka.

    • Hey, hey now, stop trying to steal Peggy Noonan’s position.

  • Michael Smith

    This is just like the time Moses was all “let my people go,” and the people in Egypt were like “Dude, you’ve been raised in the Pharaoh’s household with more money and resources than most people. Why don’t you have a little gratitude, quit acting like you can relate to other Israelites just because they look like you, and get on with ignoring injustice because it doesn’t affect you very much.”

    • HanBarbara

      Let your kids wander around in the desert for a while, and they start talking to burning bushes and come back all weird.

    • WhyFelicia

      I am going to have to post this on the Facetubes.

    • M Dubs

      Genius.

      You might as well retire from the internet. I don’t think there’s anything left to say.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Please come to the front desk to claim your prize.

    • lroom

      COMMENT OF THE YEAR!

  • cmd

    I know there is a lot of competition but I think Hannity is the worst of the worst.

    • Wild Cat

      Even worse is his Potato Famine Five Points Family all were on the government dole as Union members in the police and fire department. Mooching scum.

    • BrianW

      Why even try to decide? All it does it drive up your blood pressure for no good reason.

  • Ikimizi

    It’s called empathy, you assholes. Obama, Oprah, and Kaepernick have it, you don’t.

  • chascates

    White privilege is like schizophrenia I guess; it’s obvious to most everyone else but you just don’t see it.

  • Ms.MLG1979

    God, can you imagine how jealous they are of him?

  • Panika MCD

    since when has:
    there been a “not rapey one” at FoxNews?
    Tucker worn a not bow tie?
    Hannity been a fan of the VRA?

    NEVER. the answer is NEVER.

    • Objectifer

      Tucker quit with the bow tie when Jon Stewart called him a dick on Crossfire.

      • Panika MCD

        I saw him wearing it quite a bit after that.

  • dshwa

    So just to be clear, in conservative world overcoming racism negates your right to point out that other people are still held back by it.

  • chicken thief

    Like Fox News talking heads, I also too believe the country, in fact the whole world, would be a better place if everyone just did exactly what I think they should do.

    • WhyFelicia

      So I can start drinking within the next ten minutes?

      • chicken thief

        Bless you, my dear! Go in peace!

  • HanBarbara

    I expected to see umpteen million memes: “If you don’t blah blah blah for the flag and national anthem, then you are blah blah blah” from RWNJ relatives, so that I could link to this article and also Jim Wright, but I think they’ve given up on me.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Hannity never fails to disappoint. The Civil War was fought “in part, over slavery”. Of course that part, in Hannity’s cesspool of a mind, doesn’t hold a candle to the more crucial issue of “states rights” and Northern Aggression. Sorry asshole…it was ALL about slavery. Go read the various articles of secession if you don’t believe me.

    • Ricky Gay

      Go read the various articles of secession if you don’t believe me. Oh I have tried that with others many times! But they always respond: TL:DR:LWR (“too long, didn’t read, Lincoln was Republican”)

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        This bunch does tend to be immune to facts, yeah?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      As far as the slaveholders were concerned, it was all about slavery, because they were the ones who shat on “State’s Rights” when it came to fugitive slaves.

  • Jenny

    So here is a weird thing about being biracial. Sometimes you get twice the racism! White people don’t like you cuz you aren’t white, and the other side (mexican in my case) don’t like you cuz you are too white!!

    What happens is that you get to observe, admonish, and admire both sides. There’s always something to love/hate. You’re in the best position to be the best and worst of both cultures, wooo! Holla at me Colin!

    Except ps emails arent illegal, but then again like I said worst of both cultures!!

    • chicken thief

      My Jewish boss said he got that – not accepted at some clubs because “JEW!” and not accepted at others because “NOT REAL JEW!”. Seemed like a stupid way to screen out potential members to me but then, my parents didn’t enough money for me to worry about it.

      • M Dubs

        Wow, really? I’ve had to face the occasional bit of Anti-semitism, but it’s typically a lot more subtle than “ARGLE-BARGLE NO JEWS ALLOWED!”

        It’s usually in the vein of “You’re a good person, but you’re still going to Hell.”

        Friggin Christianity, man.

        • chicken thief

          I guess ‘the Jews’ kind of know where they are not going to be admitted so don’t apply, regardless of how lax they are in their faith. The point was that the Jew clubs, founded by Jews for Jews so they’d have a club, are picky about their religious habits.

          So on the one hand, any percentage of Jew is too damn much at the non-Jew clubs, but on the other hand, it takes a lot of Jew to be Jew and there will be a test at a Jew club.

          • M Dubs

            I don’t think this is really true (although exceptions always exist). I grew up in a heavily Jewish community and went to a historically Jewish college. We emphasize community over most things, because every generation or so somebody tries to genocide us. We don’t enjoy that, so we stick together.

            I went to Brandeis University, which was founded by Holocaust survivors and therefore emphasizes religious tolerance. We specifically built a Synagogue, Church, and Mosque in such a way that none would ever cast a shadow on another. Student surveys have shown that about 1/3 of the student body is Jewish, but the actual number may be closer to 1/2. A lot of less religious Jewish students labeled themselves as non-Jewish because they didn’t ‘feel’ as Jewish as their more religious brethren. My point is, we try to be inclusive.

        • Dawn Abraham

          Sometimes I think the same thing – friggin Christianity – but then remember every Christian I know has like 145 problems more than me.

          • M Dubs

            I got 99 problems but a savior aint one.

      • Dawn Abraham

        Something that’s rarely discussed: the advantages of not having beaucoup bucks.

    • I Only Like Cats

      With being mixed, if you’re severely white passing (like me, who was apparently born with albinism, but my mom never told me so I frequently got sunburned *ahem*) and you’re raised with culture (African American and Puerto Rican for me) it’s so much worse with the culture because you know you will never be accepted and you can’t express love for that culture outside of food (all the food!) because you don’t want white people to think cultural appropriation is OK. White people ruin everything.

      • Redgyal

        What???

        • I Only Like Cats

          Not trying to take away from anyone else’s experience, I know I usually get much white privilege from it, but people who grow up being raised by a race different than their own report a lot of the same problems and I would like to add it to the conversation. It turns out racism hurts everyone, who knew? (Except almost everyone.)

          • Redgyal

            I understand what you’re saying. I was just surprised you felt you had to play down your family’s culture to fit in. I’m mixed too but both parents (grandparents, etc) are also mixed so there is no pull to one side or the other. I am beginning to think what you’ve experienced has something to do with living in the US. I’ve heard similar stories from people with similar background as mine who fell the same way you do.

            That’s sad because a country that claims to be a nations of immigrants should not have an issue with those immigrants eventually becoming one people. But that’s just me.

      • M Dubs

        Anyone who can’t appreciate global cuisine is inherently broken inside.

        I had a friend in college who had never eaten any food that wasn’t American or Italian cuisine. We took him to a Costa-Rican restaurant and he ordered chicken fingers. And refused to touch the fried plantain they were served with. I believe we eventually sat him down and force fed him some Americanized Chinese food.

        • I Only Like Cats

          My boyfriend doesn’t usually eat non American/Canadian/Italian food but when I’m around he’s at least willing to try it. He usually quite likes whatever I pick.

    • I am concerned with definition creep. “Racism” is being enlarged and extended to cover too many innocuous phenomena.

  • baconzgood

    With all the problems in the NFL with domestic abuse and concussions FOX latches onto this….

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    “This country fought a civil war, in part over slavery, you know”

    This is the kind of grudging admission you didn’t get from old confederates when I was growing up. As a slight improvement over IT WAS STATES RIGHTS NORTHERN AGRESSION THAT’S ALL! It’s a small step in the right direction.

  • I Only Like Cats

    Every Fox News man joined the alt-right in the off-season, it seems. I love how they tell him he’s suffered no oppression in his life like they KNOW everything that’s ever happened to him. Whitesplaining is fun! For white people! (Also kudos to the girl who tried to call one of those idiots out, but you could’ve tried a little harder.)

    I’ve noted this before but the only people who can ever tell I’m mixed without seeing my mom or sisters with me are really racist old white men who then make reeeeaaaally creepy sex eyes at me (for the record, most of the guys are like four times my age). I’m assuming that’s the same creepy reaction from these men, even though I’m probably not their type.

    • Redgyal

      They’re trying to figure out if you’re their daughter.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Well. Talk about “political correctness”! Colin really stepped in that one!

  • cmd

    So I read that Jackie Robinson didn’t stand up for the anthem either. The source seems to be his autobiography, which makes me think no one noticed when he actually did it? Or else they were so busy insulting him already that it wasn’t an issue. Or who knows. http://www.cnn.com/2016/08/29/sport/colin-kaepernick-flag-protest-has-history-trnd/index.html

  • weejee

    And what do these Fux Newz patriots also have in common?

    Well no military service on behalf of the USA, USA, USA, but they know how to tie yellow ribbons around trees. Also, two out of the three have none of those parchment degree thingies.

  • TheGrandWaz00

    In the ‘land of the free and the home of the brave’ we cannot allow criticism.
    http://media.giphy.com/media/piupi6AXoUgTe/giphy.gif

  • duckshoe

    Trump: “This country’s gone to hell in a handbasket!”
    Kaepernick: “I agree with your conclusion, if not your reasons, and I will now make a Gesture!”
    Trumpeters: “Git ‘im!”

  • Objectifer

    This country fought a civil war, in part over slavery, you know

    In part??? Fuck off Sean Hannity.

    • IknowRIGHT

      And the people that lost are still pissed off about it and using their traitorous flag as a “southern pride” flag, even when used by white folks from up north who have not so much as left their home state of North Dakota.

  • calliecallie

    OT but I just found out Calvin Johnson is also going to be on Dancing with the Stars. Does that seem right to you?

    • JVisconti

      Rick Perry dancing with a black man taking lead would be ratings gold.

    • efoveks

      Laurie Hernandez is going to be on there as well. Yay!From what I can tell, she’s the one bright thing about this season

    • jmk

      So… dances involving lifts will not be a problem, then…

  • unhipcat

    wait. tucker Carlson made a comment about someone being overpaid?

  • TeeRaak

    Wet Bandit Escapes!!!1!?1?

  • artem1s

    so once the blahs all vote for Drump because he will totally fix all their ‘urban’ problems, they should never ever bring up the fact that American has not been that great for them. smells like underpants gnomes to me. and what part of his teleprompter speech in Detroit is he gonna tell Bishop Wayne T. Jackson that they should all just stand at attention whenever whitey plays the anthem and everything will just be fine?

    • Blackest Noobs

      “what do you have to lose?”

      “TWO MUTHERFUKIN Corinthians!!!!”

    • efoveks

      “smells like underpants gnomes to me”: wow, that’s gotta wake up a person– phew!

      Love their business plan though..

  • chicken thief

    At the Cowboy’s stadium everyone stands for the national anthem. It’s the only time you can get a good look at the Cheerleader’s asses while they are standing still.

    • Iron Monkey

      Finally, a reason to stand during the anthem,

  • IknowRIGHT

    I don’t know what he’s talking about I mean people called out Gabby Douglas for not doing this with her hands during the National Anthem and she’s not bla… Oh wait…

  • M Dubs

    “…the Voting Rights Act, all these people that marched with Martin Luther King Jr., and made the country a better place.”

    Hey Hannity, remember 3 years ago when conservative judges on the SCOTUS struck down key parts of the Voting Rights Act, and conservative state legislatures responded within hours by passing laws designed to restrict access to voting?

    Pepperidge Farm remembers.

  • IknowRIGHT

    Because it is my birthday and I’m feeling cranky I posted this on my FB page. I don’t normally do this but I’m sick of all the assholes on my page and their nonsense.

    Things that make you patriotic.
    1. Being kind to each other
    2. Respecting others beliefs or non beliefs
    3. Helping each other
    4. Loving each other
    5. Supporting troops both during AND AFTER the war.
    6. Paying your damn taxes. You want the benefits of living here, You have to pay up. I’m told life isn’t fair, we’re told that frequently so why should it “be fair” how much you pay in taxes? Luke 12:48 “From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.” You want to say we are a Christian nation, then start acting like it.

    Things that DON’T make you patriotic
    1. Flag Pins on your lapel when running for office
    2. Saying you support the troops, but cut funding for their food stamps housing, education funds, mental & health services after coming home from war.
    3. Being a Christian.
    4. Putting your hand on your heart during the national anthem
    5. Standing during the national anthem.
    6. Reciting the pledge of allegiance
    7. Being white
    8. Being a Republican, Democrat, Libertarian, Green Party, Hippy, Trump Supporter or what ever, no one party owns the rights to patriotism.
    9. Draping yourself in the flag.
    10. Telling others what they say is Anti American because YOU don’t agree with it.
    11. Thinking the Constitution begins and ends with the 2nd Amendment, and for forgetting that the 2nd Amendment STARTS “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State,”
    12. Saying immigrants aren’t welcome. Unless you are a Native American you come from Immigrants too.

    • WhyFelicia

      I would probably send money to any Native group that started a “Go Home Whitey” campaign. Although I don’t know where I’d have to go. Probably Russia? Never mind I take it back.

      • IknowRIGHT

        I’m torn, Germany’s economy is much better, but Cuba has better weather and food.

      • lroom

        I’m a mix of English, Native American and Irish. Where the hell would I go? Also too I’m from the south so there’s probably some African American in there somewhere. A fact I enjoy bringing up with racist family members occasionally.

    • Doug Langley

      Happy birthday! And good post.

    • jmk

      Happy birthday!! And well said!!

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Gonna borrow this. Mind?

      • Yeah, I am too, if ya don’t mind.

    • “8. Being a Republican, Democrat, Libertarian, Green Party, Hippy, Trump Supporter or what ever, no one party owns the rights to patriotism.”

      Walmart is going to sue you for copyright violation (As soon as they are done restocking a new shipment of made-in-Taiwan American flags)

  • WhyFelicia

    Facebook patriots are saying similar things. I read one post that said something like “If it’s free speech, then I have a right to call him a spoiled brat” and I was, like, sure, that’s fair. And then the comments derailed into THE REAL PROBLEM IS THE RACIST BLACK LIVES MATTER MOVEMENT and I was, like, oh, I see.

  • (((JustPixelz)))

    The next time some overpaid entertainer or athlete or politician stands up and says, “boo, hoo, people are mean to me because x, y, and z”, laugh in their face, including this guy.

    “overpaid entertainer, athlete politician” That reminds me of someone.

  • Jack

    I think that Colin confused the symbolic representation of American Ideals that the Flag actually stands for with the hypocritical reality of American Political life. Equal Justice for All, is just something we spout to cover our reality of Rich White Persons of the testicle baring types get a pass, while blahs get the maximum penalty to teach them their place in this Shining City on a Hill. No blahs or vage bearing serfs allowed.
    Fuck those guys on Fox!

  • msanthrope

    Yes, horse and goat are friends, what of it? Don’t judge!

  • AnOuthouse

    We have a shitty national anthem. I hate it when I have to hear it, especially at the beginning of sportsball games. I like Woody Guthrie’s song better.

  • ClarkJoe

    My vaguely racist aunt- different than my totally racist tea party uncle ™- was visiting last night. She just doesn’t understand what Kaepernick is doing because “he was abandoned by his black parents and adopted by this nice white couple. [tongue cluck]” Racism solved, America! You’re welcome.

    Oh, also George Soros is funding Black Lives Matter so that he can destroy America and install his own one world government, a plan he’s been working on since his childhood, which was spent having fun with the Nazis during the Holocaust. My (not-so?) vaguely racist aunt read this all online, so she’s pretty sure it must be true.

    • Iam Reading

      Your aunt sounds like a cracker ass cracker. I have some of those in my family too, all in upstate NY.

      • jmk

        My mom was born and raised in downstate NY, and she sounds like that also too.

        …or I’m sure she would if I brought up this issue with her, but as we had an argument over the weekend about the Clinton Death List, I’m not all that anxious to talk to her about the latest Faux Nooz fever dream at the moment.

    • Plushinobi

      I had the same conversation (well, the first half – we didn’t talk about Soros) with a vaguely racist coworker yesterday at lunch. It ended with the only other white dude at the table telling him to shut up and knock off the racism. Good lunch.

  • Iam Reading

    Tucker the ear fucker complaining that someone else is overpaid. Hi fucking laroius. Also, too, white as snow guy here, I fully support his protest because this country continues to have a huge race problem, caused and exacerbated by whites. Also, too, you betcha, I’m a retired combat vet, and I’m more offended bY the media’s pearl clutching than I am this guy’s protest. As far as I’m concerned, it is his sacred duty to protest.

  • timpundit

    Colin is now my favorite sportsball user. I hope he hits a home run and scores the goal.

  • The Librarian

    Three “blind” mice, see how they run off at the mouth.

  • Hardly Ideal

    *sits up in bed, stretches*

    What a lovely morni-

    Who’s — who gave me this article today? I
    don’t even know where I got it. Anyway, it said during the off-season he may have converted to Islam, and he’s also engaged with Black Lives Matter, and I guess hip hop radio personality DJ Nessa Diab? Who’s that? I’ve never heard of these people.

    *flops back into bed*

    You’re supposed to be a journalist, you putz. “I heard from a friend who saw an article” isn’t even acceptable on Facebook, nevermind a news channel.

    *pulls sheet over head*

    • Swampgas_Man

      Remember, Hannity no longer claims to be a journalist.

  • going4baroque

    fun story: I missed the 1st week of first grade when I was 6, being laid low by the flu, and on my first day in school, which was the Monday of the 2nd week, the teacher mumbled something and everyone stood up and, tilting toward old glory in a corner by the blackboard, began reciting the pledge of allegiance. I sat and watched, having no idea what was happening. The kids finished, sat down and the teacher arrived at my desk with a folded note, instructed me to deliver the note to the principal in his office. Principal yelled at me, then called my dad, who arrived later that day and withdrew my radical young butt from 1st grade and next thing I knew I was being home-schooled for the next 9 months. Lessons learned: Question everything. Bow only to truth.

  • chiefkurtz

    You can’t be ‘uppity’ while seated.

  • andyshelt

    Hannity: “I don’t know, I’ve never been able to confirm this”

    Which is pretty much the same opening sentence of whatever racist dog whistle shit comes out of Trump’s mouth time after time.

    It’s essentially Trump’s entire political belief system and appeals to his racist base distilled into one bullshit throwaway line.

  • BMW

    He’ s rich? Why is Fox criticizing a job creator?

  • Poly_Ester

    Where everyone thinks alike, no one thinks very much.

  • Shawn Renee Ernoehazy

    You left out the delightful Tomi Larhen; my conservative FB people think she is just the best! They shared this today: http://www.mediaite.com/online/tomi-lahren-rips-into-crybaby-kaepernick-calls-out-black-parents-who-werent-willing-to-raise-him/

  • Tio_Doidinho

    Oh, the dirty, dirty things I’d do to this man.

    I’m sorry, what were we talking about?

    • Me not sure

      Religion?

  • Me not sure

    I’ve always thought that the whole concept of being a secret Muslim was a bit crazy, in that one of the Five Pillars of Islam for all Muslims is a profession of the faith. You are required to proclaim your faith in order to gain acceptance into the brotherhood of all Muslims. “There is no God but Allah and Mohammed is his prophet.” is that profession of faith and one cannot deny it except at great peril for his soul.

  • Pickwicknext

    Why are all the things not rated “Fuck off, Sean Hannity”?

    That would, indeed, make the world a better palce

  • Kooolest G

    I love it when they assume that USA USA USA USA is the only country on earth where this guy could make $10 million a year. lionel messi makes $70 million a year and I’ll bet he doesn’t stand up every time he hears the american national anthem

  • In junior high I used to walk around the school campus during lunch to think. One day I noticed the vice principal following me around, but trying not to be obvious. The next day he was at it again. For a few days I had fun leading him on a merry chase around the school and making sure I kept him away from places where I knew things were going on. But after a few weeks I got sick of it, walked up to him (in front of several other teachers) and asked him why he was following me. He said you look like a druggie and I’m going to protect my school from people like you. Ms. Claggett, my math teacher informed him that I was one of her best students, and tutoring some of the other, more popular students to keep them from failing despite their drug use.
    If it only took a couple weeks of being judged for my long hair to get frustrated. I can’t imagine how people who get judged every day for the color of their skin don’t wind up killing somebody on a daily basis. So yeah, I sit with Colin Kaepernick.

  • peteywheats

    Hmm, not sure how anything besides attacking Jill Stein is relevant. After all, she’s more liberal than Hillary, can’t have that!

    • jmk

      Yawn.

      • peteywheats

        I agree. It is pointless and boring to constantly fry Jill Stein when we are inundated with hardcore neo-nazis and Klansmen about to seize control of the country.

        • jmk

          Jill Stein makes anti-vax morans feel like a real doctor supports their woo-based idiocy so they’ll like her. In following this stratospherically cynical plan to get votes, she endangers at least as many lives as the average online neo-nazi or klansman, who are – science fact – NOT “about to seize control of the country.”

          Fun fact, though – in pursuing her other cynical strategy – that of promoting slimy innuendo about Hillary Clinton to draw votes from the left – to pander to her own ego, Dr. Stein is doing everything in her power to add to the chances (no matter how remote) of hardcore neo-nazis and Klansmen seizing control of the country.

          But please… do tell me how she’s the “moral” choice.

          Oh, wait… I meant please don’t bother to tell me. I got the medium adult doze of the blatherings of left-wing purity ponies during the primaries. I’m done with that crap.

          • peteywheats

            Good for you.

          • jmk

            Learn from it.

          • peteywheats

            I learned you’re a dick!

          • jmk

            Said the guy who seems to spend his life posting off-topic disses of Hillary Clinton and whining that having a less-than-adoring opinion of the pandering Dr. Stein amounts to an “attack.”

          • peteywheats

            Wonkette has a story almost every day to take the air out of Dr. Stein. I know it’s a lot easier than defending Neo-con Clinton all day long.

          • jmk

            Why would anyone spend that kind of time on a hopeless campaign that isn’t even on the ballot in all states and never polls higher than 3%?

            LOL – “attacks” aren’t why her campaign is a goner. It’s all the whining.

          • peteywheats

            “Why would anyone spend that kind of time on a hopeless campaign that isn’t even on the ballot in all states and never polls higher than 3%?”

            Exactly my original point.

          • jmk

            No, cupcake – the point I was making was that you claim it’s a thing when it’s not. Congratulations on missing the bloody obvious – again.

  • Somewhere within his word salad, Hannity admits that the Civil War was “at least in part about slavery”.
    The boilerplate story about the Civil War, for those on the right, is that it was (all together now!) “about states’ rights”.
    That filthy Marxist RINO!

    • jmk

      It’s only about slavery when they can whine that we fought a war to end slavery so what more do The Blacks want??

  • DemmeFatale

    Yeah.
    He’s a rich guy.
    Who could be shot in an instant.
    For nothing.

    • Swampgas_Man

      And just might, if the Fux Newswatchers have their way.

  • I’d convert to Islam in the next ten minutes if it got a rise out of Hannity.

    Problem is, I’m an atheist now and I’m not sure where each ranks on the wingnut rage guage.

    • jmk

      Having encountered a Hannity fan (gag) in real, actual life during a discussion regarding religions, I would guess that Lumpy might echo his fan’s comment that, “as awful as Muslims are, at least they believe in god.”

    • jesuswasablack

      Oh nothing is worse than a mooslim, well except for maybe a black mooslim, that is for sure!
      https://willyloman.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/new-9.jpg

      • harryr

        Gay black Muslim?

        • Jeffery Campbell

          Who is left-handed.

  • Nightcrawler

    I never got this argument people make when they say “if you don’t like America, then leave”. How is expecting better from the country you live in make you anti-American?

    • Ray in VT

      Yeah, ‘Murica, love it just like it is or leave it, unless, of course, you’re all angry-like that the flithy libruls have ruined it and you’re mad as hell that it’s just not how you want it to be according to Right Wing dictates. Then you’re a PATRIOT!!

  • jesuswasablack

    why does Hannity have a picture from his high school yearbook as his radio show graphic?
    http://therightscoop.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/sean-hannity-faces.jpeg

  • Ray in VT

    What’s that you say, Tucker? Since when did rich people get to be victims? You mean like the ones who’ve been complaining about being persecuted by Obama and fearing his tyrannical class warfare, like Tom Perkins here http://www.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052702304549504579316913982034286

  • whitroth

    Bowtie Boy, we need some rich victims, just as soon as my order for Mssr. Guillotene’s “Humane invention” gets delivered (and I’m looking at Apple’s “we don’t pay taxes!!!” CEO, too).

  • CJTX

    Cause lord knows racism goes away when you earn your first million. Just ask Obama (both Barack and Michelle), and Beyonce and Jay-Z. Fox and the right and the alt-right NEVER EVER EVER says racist shit about them these days.

  • CJTX

    “so, this is a country that beat back fascism, Nazism, imperial Japan, and communism”

    Oh great, unintentional irony. Sean – we (America) were being super duper racist to black folks and asian folks and hispanic folks AT THE SAME TIME we were doing all those things (well, when we started fighting communism, we were slightly less racist when communism fell).

    Fuck the responses to this story make me angry…they’re so blindly hypocritical.

  • Beaumarchais?

    Shouldn’t we wait for all the black Fox journalists to weigh in before we rush to judgment?

    • Querolous

      The black lesbian muslins also too.

  • CATMAN

    I find it sad that there is no discrimination against Dumbshit-American talking heads like Mr Killmeade, Mr Carlson and Mr Innanity with their sickening fake patriotism, impugning the integrity of those who question any facet of our society from their privileged sinecures at FOX News

  • RC

    Not sure if anyone’s said this yet cuz I haven’t had time to go down the list but next time Kaepernick should stand but this time raise his fist high. Nothing disturbs white people more it seems than black people with their fists raised. Just ask the black women who wanted to celebrate graduating from west point.

    • J. Romano

      True, but in this case the disturbing thing to people (of any tone) is that Kaep is just fucking stupid.

      • RC

        I don’t agree with his comments on Hillary at all. That is stupid. As for the not standing, I’ve got no problem with it. To me, it’s like flag burning. It’s not my way but the ability to do those two things without being thrown in jail is what being an American is all about.

        One more thing, when you make the decision to do those two things it’s true you aren’t going to be thrown in jail, however like most controversial actions you don’t get to whine when there is the inevitable blow back. It’s like most free speech actions. You can say whatever you like but don’t bitch when the shit hits the fan.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Lumpy sez what?

  • Pisto75666

    I didn’t know all that much about Colin Kapernick (until I saw all the mentions on my FB feed) so I did some googling. NOW I get the outrage.

    “The next time some overpaid entertainer or athlete or politician stands up and says, “boo, hoo, people are mean to me because x, y, and z”, laugh in their face, including this guy.” I’m sure he means laughing in Ryan Lochte’s face….obviously.

  • SeeTrain65

    “He’s a spoiled brat.”

    And Sean’s been a spoiled brat all his life, so he should know.

  • SeeTrain65

    The NFL has a low tolerance for “trouble-makers,” unless, of course, they aren’t liberal or they perform brilliantly. Funny how it took so long to send Ray Rice packing, while guys like Ben Roethlisberger and Aldon Smith are still in the league.

    Meanwhile: Kaepernick is likely to be cut for “football reasons.”
    http://ftw.usatoday.com/2016/08/san-francisco-49ers-cut-colin-kaepernick

    And, Chris Kluwe, the former Viking punter, was respected until he stood up.
    http://deadspin.com/i-was-an-nfl-player-until-i-was-fired-by-two-cowards-an-1493208214

    And people wonder why I gave up sports writing.

    • berkeleyfarm

      The Niners have been ratfucking Kaep for a while now, similarly to how they ratfucked Harbaugh in his last year (lots of careless whispers from the front office/staff). They didn’t develop him when he was good and don’t want him now, but they refused to trade him to Denver, which both Denver and Kaep wanted. It’s why I’m now a Raiders fan (Mark Davis withstanding).

      • SeeTrain65

        Management there doesn’t seem very sharp. They traded a Pro-Bowl punter to the Browns, for one. He set records.

        Of course, they’re still in better shape than another team — THE BROWNS, who just traded that same punter for draft picks.

        Me, I root for every team in the CFL now, especially those Hamilton Tiger-Cats! ROAR!

        • berkeleyfarm

          The ownership and front office that badmouthed both the coach that got them to three NFC championship games and one Super Bowl (after decades of mediocrity) and his star young quarterback *after* the enthusiasm around the WINNING team got said owner his SWEET new stadium deal and sold a lot of very expensive seat licenses to the hopeful? Then sacked the coach and is grinding the QB’s career into the ground? Those guys? Yeah.

          Jed York could fuck up a wet dream. But he should be laughing all the way to the bank. Even with his sensitive rich white boy fee-fees being hurt I am quite sure he is cashing all the checks.

          The relative positions of the franchises have flip-flopped in very recent memory. Now Oakland is the place where young talent is interested in playing for a team “going places” and you have trouble getting tickets, and SF is the place with tumbleweeds in the stands where careers go to die. I still think Mark Davis is a chucklefuck and couldn’t organize his way out of paper bag with scissors and a Zippo lighter, but he’s letting his coach and GM do their jobs.

          • Gregory Brown

            He could also fuck up a two-car funeral.

      • Gregory Brown

        The Niners seem nice!

        • berkeleyfarm

          Chip went to bat for Colin and is staying out of the way of the players as they process. I have to give him props for that.

  • pixeloid

    I’ve noticed that none of these wingnuts can understand the concept of helping anyone but themselves. The idea of standing up for others is completely alien to them. A rich person raised by white people wanting to help oppressed black people just makes no sense in their twisted Ayn Rand worldview.

  • Kohnhead

    Do it on his own time. While at work he represents the company he works for……the rest of us would not be able to do these things at work!

    • Lily412

      Nope. NFL already stated that athletes are not required to stand during the anthem, and employers cannot violate a person’s right to free speech or freedom to assemble/protest.

      • Gregory Brown

        Well said.

    • Gregory Brown

      Nope, Lily412 has already pointed out why you are wrong, but I would add that transgression against the norm is the essence of protest. You know, like black people trying to get service at an all-white Woolworth’s lunch counter.

  • Gregory Brown

    Whoa! When I first glanced at that Tucker Carlson screen shot, I thought it said “Flag Fap.” Upon consideration, I would imagine that the only sex Tucker Carlson gets is when he faps to, or on, the flag.

Previous articleDonald Trump Ready To Deport Sportsballer Colin Kaepernick For Anti-Flag Crimethink
Next articleBritish Lady So Sad Muslim Ladies Can Wear Whatever The F They Want At The Beach