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Dispatches from the Trumperverse
Dispatches from the Trumperverse

Once again, we have another dispatch from the Trumperverse, the parallel universe in which Donald Trump is a very respectful and humble person, who is totally going to win this election. As we mentioned the last time we visited this strange and unusual place, many Trump supporters believe that it is UNPOSSIBLE that Trump is losing in the polls here in the Regularverse, because he has so many people at his rallies, and that is how you figure out who is winning in the Trumperverse.

Screen-Shot-2016-08-04-at-1.55.27-PM

Now, there are MANY theories in the Trumperverse about why Trump is losing in the polls in the Regularverse. One that is especially popular (and espoused by Trump himself and also the Weird Dilbert Guy Scott Adams) is that Trump voters — despite being manly alpha men who don’t play your political correctness reindeer games — lie and say they are voting for Clinton because they are too embarrassed to tell the disembodied voices of pollsters they will never meet that they love Trump.

Another theory gaining traction is the one about how Trump is actually WINNING, but all the polls are “skewed” to make it look like he is not winning, in order to discourage his voters, and to also make it look less suspicious when they rig the election to make Clinton win even though Trump will actually get 100% of all the votes. Or something! This is all part of an elaborate conspiracy involving all of “the media,” the DNC, the Illuminati, the cryogenically frozen head of Walt Disney, the Rothschilds, those Bohemian Grove people, the Queen, the Vatican, the progeny of Colonel Sanders, Tupac (still not dead) and also whoever it is that is in charge of mind-controlling us with fluoride and chemtrails for the purpose of convincing us that the earth is not really flat. DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH!

According to a recent poll from Public Policy Polling, 69% of Trump voters believe that if Clinton wins the elections will have been rigged. And 40 percent of them think it will be rigged by ACORN, which does not even exist anymore! And didn’t do that kind of stuff to begin with, at all! For any reason!

However! One brave polling data site has taken it upon itself to UNSKEW THE POLLS. Just like they did for Mitt Romney back in 2012, when they proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that Mitt was actually winning in all the polls, and then Mitt Romney totally won the election and is president now. That site is Longroom.com, and — according to their unskewing of the polls — Donald Trump is actually WINNING by 0.6 percent! Which is pretty impressive given that the RealClearPolitics average has Clinton beating him by 7.5 percent!

And, uh, FiveThirtyEight’s polls-only data is saying this:

Screen Shot 2016-08-09 at 4.16.22 PM

And their now cast (if the election were held today) is saying this…


Screen Shot 2016-08-09 at 4.22.37 PM

And SURE. Nate Silver is pretty much a whiz at the election predicting business, but if he’s not saying that Trump is winning, how can Trump supporters trust what he has to say? Luckily, according to Longroom’s data, literally all of the polls — including Rasmussen — are biased in Hillary’s favor, so they must “correct” them based on how biased they are. What do the corrected versions say? Well, that Donald Trump is WINNING of course! It is like magic!

This is all very convenient, actually. Because Trump has been all “I love winning! I’m so good at winning! YOU’RE ALL GONNA BE SO SICK OF WINNING! YOU WILL BARF UP WINNING!” during this campaign, so it looks pretty darn awkward for him when all of the polls and infographics show that he is, in fact, losing.

And sure! He is losing in the Regularverse. He is losing very badly, and continues to lose more every time he opens his loser mouth! But that doesn’t mean that he won’t win in the Trumperverse, and all the little Trumpkins will be able to finally say every mean thing they ever wanted to on Facebook without anyone ever calling them a jerk, and kick out all the Mexicans and the Muslims by walking up to them and going “I’m a REAL AMERICAN and I BANISH you!” and Mexico will pay for the wall and all the manufacturing jobs will come back from overseas and they will pay just like they did back when unions were still a thing but out of the goodness of their hearts rather than because of collective bargaining, and also it will be very cool and chic to use racial epithets, and everyone will laugh at their jokes.

[Longroom | FiveThirtyEight | Real Clear Politics]

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  • BadKitty904

    Did they also happen to mention who won the War Between the States? Just curious…

    • WIDTAP

      Yes, they said it was very satisfying.

    • Boscoe

      Yes, it was Nazis. It is *always* Nazis in these parallel universes. ;))

      • BadKitty904

        I’ve noticed that, now that you mention it…

      • TheDogAteMyVote

        It’s Raiders of the Lost Election.

        • Blank Ron

          ‘Trump. Why did it have to be Trump?’

    • berkeleyfarm

      I learned to say “the unpleasantness between the states” or, for the amusement of my NC friends, “the wa-uh of nawr-thin aggression” before I visited the Carolinas. I know how it turned out though.

      • BadKitty904

        My Great-Aunts invariably use “the Late Unpleasantness” or “The War” (anybody who knows them knows EXACTLY which one they mean).

  • Belasaurius

    man that alternate universe sounds horrible, except I bet alternate universe Belasaurius scores every night, the bastard.

  • Alan

    Nate Silver’s in on the whole thing too. Duh.

  • memzilla

    Asked about Trump’s poll numbers, Paul Manafort issued the following statement:
    .

  • BadKitty904

    So, now the Trumpanzees are under direct control from their home-world?

    • Too hot, no air, no water, covered in craters…seems about right.

      • kindness

        Needz moar dark side.

  • dslindc

    The Trumperverse is the yoooogest, classiest verse ever. Tremendous really. It’s just the best. Many people are saying that there are no other verses out there!

  • edith prickly

    Bless their angry little hearts.

  • bubbuhh

    Trumpollsters are obviously in need of a good skewing.

    • I Only Like Cats

      Are you sure that’s not how we got here in the first place?

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Wait, are there flying cars in the Trumperverse? Because if so, I’m conflicted.

    • Oblios_Cap

      He’ll sell you the right to buy one just before the factory closes.

    • edith prickly

      Only the best flying cars. With wings. Classy wings. And colours. Don’t get me started! Such yooge, classy colours. Don’t listen to the media when they say the cars fall out of the sky. Liars! Who are you gonna believe, those losers and haters? I built those cars. They’re the best, like me. Flying cars!

      • cheetojeebus

        Solid gold flying Yuuugos.

    • TJ Barke

      They crash all the time, no regulations.

    • weejee

      Think most, like Donald, are blimps – boring bags of hot wind.

    • Yes, but there aren’t any safety regulations, so….

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Dont’ know about flying cars, but I’m fairly certain that there are lots of she-bots in the Trumperverse…

      • kindness

        Eww. Makes me feel bad for robots.

  • Blank Ron

    I don’t mind them living in their own little fantasy world. What I object to is their insistence that we have to live in it as well.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Need to be able to upfist this more.

    • BadKitty904

      Beats having ’em in our world.

    • Skeptical_thinker

      Sort of like the talivangelicals?

  • Count Awesome

    Trump is like a scary cult leader and now that he’s essentially come out and said it’s time to drink the cyanide laced grape kool-aid everyone but his die hard supporters are saying “what da fuck?”

    • While the die hard supporters are going “Make it a double!”

  • Brazilian Fart Porn

    Many people are saying that Tupac, Elvis, and Jim Morrison were at Studio 54 last night. I don’t know, but many people say that.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Many people say that Donald Trump is an asshole.

    • Vecchiojohn

      I heard Amelia Earhart was thre too.

      • Oneofthebobs

        Fred Noonan bought the last round.

  • Oblios_Cap

    if the crowd size is an indicator, how do they explain the people walking out of his rally yesterday?

    http://www.politicususa.com/2016/08/09/people-walk-donald-trump-rally-threatened-hillary-clinton.html

    • Blank Ron

      It was so big that there wasn’t room for them all?

      • Sounds like the fire marshall conspiracy is at it again.

    • Count Awesome

      The room was too small, just like his hands.

    • Belasaurius

      free ice cream in parking lot?

    • Belasaurius

      walking out or riding their scooters out?

    • anon_the_great

      Squirrel

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Well, I think he lost the fire marshall vote, so that’s gonna create problems.

    • arglebargle

      False flag losers. He kicked them out. Sad.

  • BadKitty904

    I can only imagine what’s in their adspace…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZNzz4SaTYk

  • AngryBlakGuy

    This is all part of an elaborate conspiracy involving all of “the media,” the DNC, the Illuminati, the cryogenically frozen head of Walt Disney, the Rothschilds, those Bohemian Grove people, the Queen, the Vatican, the progeny of Colonel Sanders, Tupac (still not dead) and also whoever it is that is in charge of mind-controlling us with fluoride and chemtrails for the purpose of convincing us that the earth is not really flat. DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH!

    …Robyn you are obviously a puppet of the establishment, because you left out:

    -The Bildeburg Group
    -Flourinated water(ETA: oops you did mention the flouride establishment)
    -Jade Helm 15
    -Mole People’s
    -Grassy Knoll

    • Count Awesome

      Moon landing too.

      • AngryBlakGuy

        …Benghazi!

      • BadKitty904

        AND Judge Crater.

    • mackafritz

      I thought it was the Rand Corporation, in conjunction with the saucer people, under the supervision of the reverse vampires.

    • cheetojeebus

      I come to Wonkette for the TRUTH!!1

      • BadKitty904

        ‘Cause WE CAN HANDLE THE TRUTH!!1!

        • Blank Ron

          This feels like a dick joke, somehow.

          • BadKitty904

            You’re thinking of WE CAN FONDLE THE TRUTH!!1!

          • kindness

            Trumps truth? Pass me that magnifying glass, will ya?

          • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

            Or give it a Dutch rudder at least…

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Lizard people!

    • Blender_415

      And Elvis. Don’t forget The King (who is also still not dead)!!!!

      • I Only Like Cats

        Elvis died two years ago. Is there no end to your gullibility? I told you that two years ago. He was a cashier in a shoe shop, Shawn.

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        Elvis is dead. If you think that Mississippi Redneck was alive when his daughter married Michael Jackson and didn’t say anything you are nuts.

    • The Wanderer

      The Beavers of Baden-Baden, however, are totally in the tank for Trump.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Lost tribes of Israel living under the polar ice cap liballs!

      • AngryBlakGuy

        …who told you?!?!

        • revenant

          i tell ya there’s a leak in this organization!!!

    • BadKitty904

      What, no Juice?

    • John Smith

      Zombie John Wayne has no chance against all of these opponents.

    • artem1s

      New World Order
      black helicopters
      American flag fringe

      • Sam Hain

        contrails…

    • YoBunnyBunny

      The U.N. and our golfs!!11!1!

    • Michael Rush

      Conservative sites are always fair and accurate …

      https://s9.postimg.org/qmwfs4pcv/dewey.jpg

    • grindstone

      DB Cooper?

    • Cranky Man

      The “lost” Enoch chapter to the Bible. But poorly educated potater farmers in Pocatello have copies, in English!

    • Steely_Fan

      And thanks for the tip on the Bohemian Grove people, whom I had not heard of previously. Five minutes of Googling/Wikipediaing led me to this: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0250282/?ref_=rvi_tt which I just ordered from Amazon.

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        Alex Jones did a great documentary on Bohemian Grove. I think it is his best work.

    • arensb

      Flourinated water

      Water with flour in it? Is Hillary in the pocket of Big Wheat?

      • Querolous

        Flo urinated?

    • wurman

      What about Opus Dei? The Trilateral Commission? The Knights Templar? The Muslim Brotherhood? The Lilliputians (so tiny, you know, they just get under your skin . . . and Blefuscans, the funny small and hugely trivial ones . . .)?

      • Querolous

        Tralfamadorians go on and on.

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          Bokonons Forever!!!

          • wurman

            Ad infinitum . . . pi

        • wurman

          More and moar, also

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      You left out the Reptiloid aliens who live in the hollow earth. They enter through a tunnel built by Hitler.
      And remember, Bey and Jay Z are illuminati.

    • diogenez

      ..

    • Sam Hain

      -The Flat and Hollow Earth Society…(it’s a donut)

    • Sam Hain

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

  • Boscoe

    Clearly quantum physicists should be studying Trump, as his existence is calling into question the very concept of “consensus reality”…

    • SeanT1001

      Psychologists should also study him, since he is a case study in cognitive dissonance… or schizophrenia…

      • I Only Like Cats

        Delusional disorder and probably narcissism, I’m going to venture.

        • Blank Ron

          Heck, open any random page in the DSM-5 and you’ll find something he has.

          • wurman

            Did they take out megalomania? or just refer to narcissistic personality disorderf?

          • Blank Ron

            I haven’t seen a copy of 5 yet. I’m afraid to look in case I recognise myself in the descriptions.

    • weejee

      The Donald has too many strange quarks and none charm.

      • Blank Ron

        <golf clap>

        • Usedtobeyellerdawg

          Is there an orange quark?

          • PubOption

            Some have color, but I think that the colors are red, green and blue.

    • BadKitty904

      If only Trump were a hallucination.

  • Jgb979

    There were few bits of schaudenfraude that made me happier than watching the Romney’s staffers gobsmacked faces come election night, having spent the past month Unskewing polls and actually believing their candidate had a shot.

    The Trumpkin tantrum is going to be obscene

    • thirdeblue

      Karl Rove’s epic meltdown on Fox News as the results came in was glorious.

      • BadKitty904

        “No, Karl, Romney is not ahead in Bolivia.“

    • revenant

      the Trumpkin tantrum has been obscene, is obscene, and will continue to be obscene

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I saved Karl Rove’s meltdown on DVR…I watch it when I’m feeling stabby.

    • Relativicus

      It’ll be over shortly after dinner the day following the election. Say, about 4:30pm.

      • Blank Ron

        That’s when Golden Corral switched from the lunch to the dinner menu, right?

    • Gleem-McShinez

      THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SKEW A STRANGER IN THE POLLS!

      *smashes headlight of wrong car*

  • Ricky Gay

    extra super bonus points for Axe Murderer shout-out! Still a fave of mine.

    • Blender_415

      Ha! I saw that, also.

  • Suttree

    So how do these people unskew the polls? Do they give Trump an automatic 10 points to start with? Or is it more like nuh uh, the White Power Ranger is the bestest so he automatically wins?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      I’ve read about this. They include the people that the polls aren’t reaching, whom they find by using Republican math. (not kidding- something like for every Hillary voter, i.e. “people,” there are two or more white Christian persons who mysteriously never show up on polling lists). Because freedom.

      • Blank Ron

        They find these people living in the same cities their Canadian girlfriends do. That why you haven’t met them.

        • Brother Yam

          The girlfriends that they met at band camp…

          • John Smith

            So they count all 5 fingers on their right hand?

      • BadKitty904

        Plus it worked so well for the Romney campaign…

    • BadKitty904

      How do their tiny fingers work the keyboard?

      • Suttree

  • Ima Witstüp

    Nice pictures of Jim Kunstler’s “Moron Crescent” there.

    • Mpeg

      I used to really enjoy his writing. Even if I didn’t always 100% agree with his solutions.. Now I think teh internetz broke his website, or something. Couldn’t even access his archived blogwork last time I checked~

  • It looks like they’re pulling the lines right from the more rabid Bernie supporters during the primary. Rally attendance does not equal actual support. There’s a major difference between “people who show up at a rally” and “people who who show up at the voting booth.” Besides the latter category being larger than the first, not all the rally attendees will show up at the voting booth.

    • I Only Like Cats

      Some of the rally attendees are probably HillBots being entertained (and horrified, and traumatized).

    • artem1s

      also,too, following your candidate around like they are the Grateful Dead does not mean you get extra votes on game day. I’d love to see Nate Silver do an analysis of rally attendance goers and their voting records.

  • Oblios_Cap

    That darned ACORN appears to have sprung into a mighty oak, what with all the election rigging and such.

    • It’s like a zombie invasion, always springing up when you think it’s dead!

  • Brazilian Fart Porn

    OT: That top picture of long haired Trump is the best photo I have seen of him. He is not glaring or making duck lips.

    • Count Awesome

      I was unaware there was such a thing as a “Trump Brand Mullet®”.

  • ClarkJoe
  • House0fTheBlueLights

    One word: Brexit.

    • I Only Like Cats

      If he actually does when I will be eloping with a Canadian and applying for college in Canada.

      • Brendan_M

        Oh yeah, I’ve got a Canadian girlfriend, too. You wouldn’t know her, I met her at summer camp…

        • I Only Like Cats

          I’m literally in Canada visiting him. I’ve been on vacation here with him for a while. We watched the RNC and DNC together. XD What do you guys need pictures?

          • Blank Ron

            If you don’t feel comfortable going back we won’t mind at all. Would you like some free health care? I’m sure we have extra.

          • Brendan_M

            That is a dangerous thing to ask the perverts of Wonkette.

      • DinkyBossetti

        I just spent an exhausting long weekend in Canada explaining to MrBossetti’s aghast friends and family how it is even possible Trump is the nominee of a major party and fielding questions about how quickly we will be moving there on the extreme off-chance he is elected.
        Their eyes would light up when they asked, “So MrBossetti might be moving back here and bringing you with him, then?!”
        Me, dashing everyone’s hopes: “No, it’s not going to come to that.”

    • Brendan_M

      Remain had just a 0.5% poll average lead in the days before the vote, and Leave had been leading most polls for a long time.

      No one should stay home or throw your vote away on “Dr.” Stein, but this is not Brexit.

    • BadKitty904

      Two words: Supreme Court

    • Gleem-McShinez

      The Trumpatus Lovers are voting to break with reality, and they are definitely winning that one.

  • Scooby

    You liberals also said polling showed a Borgia would never become Pope while the lame stream media trashed him. Same thing ! Benghazi to all!

  • Latverian Diplomat

    It’s tough to unskew the polls when you only have a short vulgarian thumb to put on the scale.

  • Oneofthebobs

    Too bad McGovern didn’t have ACORN!

    • weejee

      By George that’s the reason he lost.

    • revenant

      at the time, it was called “CREEP”, and Nixon had it.
      and now you know…the rest of the story

    • Gleem-McShinez

      That’s how Dewey Defeated Truman, you know!

  • freakishlystrong

    What they’re doing is fomenting insurrection.

    • John Smith

      Not the first time.

    • BadKitty904

      Along with treason, assassination, etc Standard fare for a domestic terrorism group.

    • Major_Major_Major

      Luckily, most of these idjits are too lazy to do more than get all shouty.

      • revenant

        and be obnoxious in public, in private, at work, on the road, on social media….

  • elpinche

    Just wait until the media catches wind of the Trump/NAMBLA scandal. Those boys were 6. What a sick fuck.

    • SeanT1001

      I KNOW, right?

    • weejee

      wut?

      • Brazilian Fart Porn

        I saw it on the internet that Trump is a “big supporter” [wink, wink] of NAMBLA.

      • I Only Like Cats

        It’s basically the best scheme to try and get Trump to release his taxes anyone has ever done for anything (also it only follows Trump’s own rules of logic)

    • Treg Brown

      Glenn Beck plagiarism LIBELZ!!1!

    • Brendan_M

      Many people are saying.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        I’ve seen it on the interwebs.

        • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

          I saw something about it just today!

          • Notreelyhelping

            It’s just one of things people should be looking into. That’s all.

    • Logic of Color

      Are you suggesting that trump keyword underage google nambla scandal sex trump nambla keyword trump nambla?

  • weejee

    NowcastNowcastNowcastNowcastNowcastNowcastNowcastNowcastNowcastNowcastNowcastNowcastNowcastNowcastNowcastNowcast and Nowcast!

  • x111e7thst

    There is nowhere in the multiverse that anyone is laughing at their jokes..

  • Relativicus

    In a nation with a population of 400,000, a rally with 20,000 people in attendance is a pretty big deal, you know.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    Didn’t Trump tweet about storming Washington to overturn the rigged vote in 2012?

    Since Trump, his surrogates, and his supporters have all now called for Hillary to be executed, before the election has even taken place, it’s going to get pretty ugly when he loses. Soft, pasty pink Ham Rove in a Fox studio is one thing, but a few hundred dumbfucks with AR15s can cause a lot of damage before their inevitable routing.

  • Parchment Scroll

    Something I wonder every time the wall is brought up. Having been a poor in the South for some time, I can testify to the following:

    1) Any large construction contract uses day laborers
    2) The further south you go, the more your day labor force tends to follow a racial demographic, what with poverty statistics being what they are.

    What I’m getting at here is, who’s gonna build that wall again?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Maybe that’s what he means by Mexico is going to pay for the wall–we hire Mexicans to build it, and then garnish their remittances, which Trump actually has plenty of experience doing.

    • Panika MCD

      I think when he said “Mexico will pay for it” he meant that they would be so terrified of a flood of American refugees that they would build the wall on their side of the divide.

      and who doesn’t want to fuck with the Rio Grande Compact?

  • anon_the_great

    Not my idea but the solution is to build a faux White House and after the fascist yam craters in November move him in. Film the results.

    • vivian

      Put a hen in the Fox House?

      • Count Awesome

        Are you stealing ideas from Roger Ailes?

  • bbayliss

    Looks like he “got sick of winning”

    • Count Awesome

      He’ll never get sick of whining though.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    He’s managed to winnow his base to those with barely enough brain capacity to function in society. This will simplify selection for the FEMA camps.

    • Ima Witstüp

      Only people with valid Trump Gold Cards will be admitted into these boxcars.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        We’ll make the rest of them walk. The wingnut Trail of Tears.

        • Blank Ron

          The roads will be littered with the rusting hulks of dead Hoverrounds.

          • Zyxomma

            Damn! I should have known I’d been beaten to that punch.

        • bozilingus

          As they are afraid of everything, including their shadows, the wingnuts will be walking The Trail of Fears.

          • revenant

            as it was in the beginning, so will it be, whines without end

          • bozilingus

            Ramen.

        • Zyxomma

          Even those on Hoverrounds?

    • bbayliss

      And provide jobs to those willing to dress them in the morning and wipe the spittle off their chins.

  • anwisok

    I’ll be shocked if the “bias” that they assign to each poll changes as the gap between them grows. SHOCKED! Yeahright. More like “bemused.”

  • Tallmutha

    There is no denying the Republicans have the passion now, the enthusiasm. The Democrats do not. Independents are breaking for Trump. And there’s the thing about the yard signs. In Florida a few weeks ago I saw Trump signs, not Clinton ones. From Ohio I hear the same. From tony Northwest Washington, D.C., I hear the same.

    • Steely_Fan

      Dame Peggy, izzat u?

      • Gleem-McShinez

        OH THE NOONANITY

  • Crystalclear12

    We’ve gone over this, Democrats lack to organizational abilities to participate in conspiracies.
    We were invited but we showed up at the wrong time and didn’t bring the right stuff.

    • vivian

      I think the problem was that the Democratic invite clearly states on it “BYOC” so everyone brought their own instead of tuning in to a single network to be told what to be afraid of.

    • Astraea

      You didn’t miss anything. No one could agree on the refreshments.

      • arglebargle

        I don’t even LIKE kool-aid.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      Tin foil and whatnot.

    • therblig

      this is why i never go to orgies – too many “thank you” notes

  • cheetojeebus

    If your electorate won’t admit they are voting for you, that’s not winning.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      Particularly if it’s an anonymous telephone survey.

      • Gleem-McShinez

        “Hi! I’m Skewie from American Vote Research Place Thing! I’m calling to ask you who you plan to vote for in the upcoming Presidential elections?”

        “Are you going to write this down somewhere?”

        “Of course! We’re just trying to find out how people plan to vote! So…”

        “Will you tell anyone?”

        “Well, yes…we’re just trying…”

        “No. Unless this is a secret between you and me, and you immediately burn the paper you write it on, I just can’t say. How about you disconnect my phone number, move me out of state under a different identity, and nuke everything from space? Then I’ll tell you, but that’s probably too much to ask.”

  • Gayer Than Thou

    …an elaborate conspiracy involving all of “the media,” the DNC, the Illuminati, the cryogenically frozen head of Walt Disney, the Rothschilds, those Bohemian Grove people, the Queen, the Vatican, the progeny of Colonel Sanders, Tupac (still not dead) and also whoever it is that is in charge of mind-controlling us with fluoride and chemtrails for the purpose of convincing us that the earth is not really flat.

    But not the gays. Which is ironic, given that Nate Silver is himself a gay homosexxxual. But we’re taking a breather after trying to destroy opposite marriage.

    • bbayliss

      Forgot the Elders of Zion and their baby blood drinking pals.

    • revenant

      that’s just what THEY want you to think!!11!!

    • Crystalclear12

      It’s also hurricane season which I know keeps the gheys busy. You know, creating them and all.*

      *if you need to be told this is snark. . . whoa

      • Gayer Than Thou

        If you only knew how exhausting the homosexxxual lifestyle is – you have to get up into full drag every morning, have sex with a hundred strangers, and cause a hurricane or tornado somewhere. Somedays I ask myself whether it’s all worth it.

        • jmhm

          Thank you for all you do.

        • AnOuthouse

          When do you have time to convert all the children to your decadent lifestyle?

          • Gayer Than Thou

            After brunch.

        • Dudleydidwrong

          Goddamn! I thought I was busy!

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      Pardon my impertinence, but wouldn’t a gay homosexxxual be straight?

    • beavertank

      So what you’re saying is that the gays have a refactory period, and while the spirit is willing the flesh is spongy and flaccid, so they’re taking this election cycle off?

      Makes sense.

  • Logic of Color

    So for every democrat you poll you also have to poll a republican. Even if there are more democrats. Got it!

    • arglebargle

      1.06 republicans.

      • TJ Barke

        Fair and unbalanced.

        • arglebargle

          That works on more than one level, so to speak.

          • TJ Barke

            That was my intention.

          • arglebargle

    • gedjcj

      I tutor statistics. I’m watching the grandged today, so it’s probably a good thing I’m out of beer.

    • Yes, and you also need an equal number of people from the Green, Libertarian, and Constitution parties. Stein actually has a shot!

  • Treg Brown

    “So Trump has 20k people at his rallies today….but is losing by 10? Doesn’t make sense folks.

    Yup. That 20k out of more than 200MM eligible voters is a YUUUUGE number and should automatically win Trump the election.*

    *See also, “All my neighbors have Romney signs in their front yards yet he still lost?
    Something’s fishy folks.”

    • Major_Major_Major

      Anecdotal evidence is the only real evidence.

      • Blank Ron

        Well, Your Honor, we’ve got plenty of hearsay and conjecture… those are kinds of evidence.
        – Lionel Hutz

    • Left Coast Tom

      20K is less than 10% of the population of the suburb in which I live. And, since this city normally votes 75% Democratic, and has lots of college graduates among whom Trump does poorly, it’s not a stretch to think he may end up with only 10% of the local vote.

      • Major_Major_Major

        LIES RUMORS AND INNUENDO!!!!2!!1!

      • revenant

        which is still indefensibly high

    • cmd

      Also, too, I have noticed that Trump supporters often have 3 or 4 Trump bumper stickers on their vehicles, which multiplies the votes exponentially.

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        It’s a founding principle: one sticker, one vote.

    • beavertank

      “Well I voted for him, and so did everyone I know, so clearly he only lost because of voter fraud.”

  • TJ Barke

    I reject your reality and substitute my own.

    • Joe Beese

      So do I, but I need bourbon to do it.

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        You call it bourbon, I call it personality enhancement.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      To borrow from, I believe, Kerouac, I’ve honeymooned with my hand many times.

      • TJ Barke

        Palmella never lets me down.

        • Gleem-McShinez

          Palmella Handerson?

  • Astraea

    What a coincidence that the Inquisition Judicial Watch has suddenly released a few additional Clinton emails this morning.

    • Joe Beese

      Also: Julian Assange, in most Trumpian fashion, is not saying that the DNC emails came from a DNC employee who was since shot dead in an apparent robbery – HINT! HINT! – but, you know, his sources face danger and people are talking.

  • Catstro

    They mean “winning” in the Charlie Sheen way, right? I feel like we’re mere days from seeing tweets from Trump referencing tiger’s blood.

  • Iron Monkey


    Another theory gaining traction is the one about how Trump is actually WINNING, but all the polls are “skewed”

    That worked so well for the Romney-bots in the last election–makes sense to stick with a winning formula.

    • AntiDerpomeme

      “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me… You can’t get fooled again!”

      • Gleem-McShinez

        “Fool me again? Then clearly the foolin’s been skewed!”

  • Panika MCD

    I’m sure if Betty Bowers were here, she would remind us that Leviticus says that vagina bearers are worth half of the amount that penis owners are. besides, the Constitution clearly states that those of us with darker skin are worth 3/5ths that of our SPF 1000 needin’ counterparts who cast our votes for us anyway. (hush your mouth, the 14th amendment is a myth.) and if the BoBs taught us anything, it’s that rally attendence is mandatory if you want extra votes without having to save them up for a decade before casting them. obviously Trump is winning.

    • revenant

      that seems logical…

      • pstockholm

        (3/5*0.5)+(14^2(ndAmendment)*1000)=51%
        Yeah, the math checks out. Seems legit. Where do I sign up?

        • Jeff in the desert

          You forgot the temperature factor, Fahrenheit 451

  • wide_stance_hubby

    Dear Donald,

    We’ve been faking it all along, but you’re used to that.

    America

    • therblig

      the money is still on the dresser, where it’s always been, right?

      • Reddishrabbit

        I’d hope they got the money first, this Trump after all.

  • orygoon

    About the only thing I like about this season is that I get to say “the plural or anecdote is not data” a lot of times.

    • ryp

      Nobody I know believes that.

  • Greg Comlish

    Here’s what the media isn’t telling you: Hillary is only winning in the polls because the media asked a lot more Clinton supporters than Trump supporters for their opinion. If you carefully adjust for the different numbers of Clinton supporters and Trump supporters that were surveyed, then it comes down to a tie and its been that way for several months at least. By the same method you can show that Gary Johnson and Jill Stein are also tied with Clinton and Trump. It’s going to be a really close race.

    • Logic of Color

      Right. Like in any race once you adjust for one contestant going faster than the other they usually tie.

      • Usedtobeyellerdawg

        When we were kids, we called that a “spot” or a “head start”. It made a foot race more fun when two people were unevenly matched. In the case of the GOP’s unskewing of polls, it makes the race more financially rewarding and helps them feel that their candidate is still somewhat relevant.

        • revenant

          why, of course he is relevant- a plague or pestilence always is

          not electable, but plenty relevant

    • Jeff in the desert

      Don’t they call that handicapping in Golf?

    • bbayliss

      Please go to 538 for two short articles that explain polling and WHY more democrats than republicans are polled.
      Hint: more people identify as democrats than republicans.
      Think…for one minute. Pollsters rely on accuracy for credibility; they are trying as hard as they can to get it it right rather than pleasing you
      You seem to believe the ‘media’ is keeping a secret, they’re not.
      You also seem to believe that “Johnson and Stein are also tied with Clinton and trump…”you pulled that one directly out of your ass.

      • revenant

        drink some more coffee and read again. once your snark-perception faculties are up and running you might notice something you missed on the first run through

        • bbayliss

          Unfortunately there was a time when the intelligence and wit of Wonketeer’s was unquestionable.
          Those days are gone.
          And so am I, sorry Rebecca.

          • Greg Comlish

            Sorry about that Rebecca! My bad! I’ll try to make my wit less questionable next time.

          • bbayliss

            You haven’t any.

          • Greg Comlish

            Everyone’s a critic!

      • Brazilian Fart Porn

        Hun,

        • bbayliss

          Isn’t that a little like having to explain a joke?

      • Steely_Fan

        Yes, Poe’s law is an Internet adage which states that, without a clear indicator of the author’s intent, parodies of extreme views will be mistaken by some readers or viewers as sincere expressions of the parodied views. However, considering that the subhead on this site is “Nasty Vile Little Snark Mob” mebbe you oughta consider the possibility of a non-literal reading of the (non-allowed) comments.

        • bbayliss

          Thank you ever so much.
          I will never take anyone seriously again.
          Good day.

        • ryp

          Frequenting Wonkette leads to Poe’s Law in reverse, where trolls are often assumed to be snarking on first read.

      • Bren

        Maybe you should get out more and meet real people.

      • HanBarbara

        I’ve blasted people who were being sarcastic and been blasted by others whose sarcasm detection meter wasn’t tuned to me. A suggestion- go to Disquis and check the persons comment history. That way you won’t be yelling at people who actually agree with you.

        • bbayliss

          Thank you. It’s impossible to distinguish these day, with Poe’s law.
          I most certainly did not raise my voice, provided some information, and am now sufficiently shamed.
          Thank you once again and have a lovely day.

          • HanBarbara

            It happens to everyone sooner or later. I’ve been trolled by some of the best,(Including the great Pinkham). I was so anxious to jump in there, I didn’t bother to look at the screen name).
            Seems like The Wonketeers are a little extra jumpy today. I think that we are getting so outraged at the people who support this shitty, dumpster fire sham of a candidate that we are getting a mite irritable. I know I am.

    • beavertank

      That sounds remarkably like the argle blargle this years UnskewedPollster is using to explain his fixing the polls… except weirdly enough your snarky version makes more sense (although it doesn’t do as good a job at hiding the bias going on).

      I suppose that’s the fine line a snake oil salesmen have to walk, though.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    What’s the problem? I think if Trump gets about 20000 votes per state, that would indeed reflect his proper level of support.

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    Confirmation bias is a HELL of a drug.

    • theblackdog

      Oh god yeah. Now I have people doubling down on the “You just think you’re so smart but you’re not.” and the “You need to respect the lack of intelligence” type arguments going on.

      No, no I don’t. You post a BS meme, I’m gonna come at you with a Snopes or FactCheck link. Maybe learn something instead of spreading FUD you jerks.

      • amindofitsown

        “But, Fact Check and Snopes are secretly a part of the Democratic Feminazi Satanistic conspiracy against real ‘Muricans. Except when they’re debunking a claim against our Trumpie, then they may be cited…with a link to Freedom Outpost or the Daily Caller, for balance.”

  • Michael Smith

    Well, maybe if the Constitution were actually followed in this country, and black people and women and other people who generally aren’t big Trump supporters were still not allowed to vote, these numbers wouldn’t be skewed for Hillary.

    I, for one, reject as illegitimate any political developments in this country after the Civil War, and demand the same of my government.

  • AntiDerpomeme

    The alternate Trumperverse was created when the triumvirate forces of Extreme Racism, Absolute Male Egotism and Blind Wish Fulfillment collided and created a black hole so dense that polls are inexorably sucked upwards. It’s science.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    In the Trumperverse, Cute Asian Babes Want To Meet Older Men.

    • TheDogAteMyVote

      Me Rove you long time, short time. Cheap, cheap.

  • LarryHoudini

    They say that Trump has no support from either blacks or women? And yet I see Omarosa on tv, promoting Trump??? SOMETHING’S GOING ON PEOPLE.

    • Logic of Color

      Or Latinos. Except Trump said the Latinos love him so PROBLEM SOLVED!

      • theblackdog

        Well yeah, didn’t you see that awesome taco bowl they gave him on Cinco De Mayo?

  • beavertank

    I seem to remember another candidate who had lots of people at his rallies and yet still couldn’t win… Hmm… It’s almost like rally attendance isn’t a valid predictor of electoral outcomes.

  • Jeff in the desert

    Rod Serling actually described the Trumpverse pretty well

    There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man’s fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call the Twilight Zone.

    • Jeff in the desert

      The other he used refers to mind. We know that is not the case here.

  • Dutchman

    89 days, 13 hours, 52 minutes left until the election. I’m uncertain whether my mind, body and liver can take this drinking game.

    • Jeff in the desert

      Pace yourself. Think long game. Save some for the victory celebration.

    • Usedtobeyellerdawg

      Only drink on the 8’s; 58 minutes, 48 minutes…

  • Me not sure

    I live in Georgia and no one will display pro Hillary bumper stickers, pins, or yard signs because the maelstrom of Trumpian bullshit that would descend on you would not make it worth your while. The last polling that I saw from the AJC shows Hillary with a 4 point lead. She might not win GA but I honestly believe she has turned the corner on flipping the state. The changing demographics will eventually turn the tide here and it can’t happen soon enough for me.

    • Dutchman

      Same here. We don’t display anything on our cars since Ms. Dutchman’s car was keyed in a restaurant parking lot in Woodstock.

      • Me not sure

        So not the festival Woodstock. Still nice little town.

        • Dutchman

          Nope, it’s the Woodstock here in BanjoLand.

          • Me not sure

            Know it well.

    • grindstone

      So true. I don’t display yard signs anyway. If you’re my neighbor and I’m living next to you, I don’t really want to know your religious or political beliefs, because I don’t want that to influence my neighborlyness. Plus I know I’m an oddity in my overwhelmingly white, overwhelmingly retired, overwhelmingly FLORIDA-tailor-made-for-FOX-news neighborhood. But I will tell you this much. Where there were a plethora of Romney signs previously, there are no Trump signs.

  • Logic of Color

    See, the pollsters are just asking “people” that are “walking by” or “answering phones”. For a true representation they need to stop being lazy and start turning over rocks.

  • Mavenmaven

    He wins if you count guns as voters.

    • arglebargle

      Guns are people too my friend.

    • WeaselPoo

      you need to count the bullets, actually

  • SnarkOff

    These are the same people who believe in angels and Creationism. Bless their hearts.

  • bbayliss

    Everyone talking this bullshit needs to answer one question: How did ‘unskewing the polls work out for president Romney?

    • chicken thief

      That just proves how rigged the system is!

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    Well, according to the 2nd Amendment folks Trump only needs 3%! Ha, is joke! Funny right? Because 3%ers are going to shoot and kill all their political opponents and critics? Get it? Get it? … Oh you liberals wouldn’t know a joke if it shot you execution-style on 5th Avenue after seizing power in a violent coup.

    • SnarkOff

      Those were surveyor’s marks!

      • revenant

        each with a neatly punched hole, dead center

  • beatbort

    Trump: How can you believe anyone named Nate Silver? Silver is worthless! I only deal in gold things. Now, if he were named Nate Gold, that might catch my eye. But he is named Nate Silver. Weak.

    • SnarkOff

      Shorter: Nate (((Silver)))

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Trump supporters know that if you only poll Trump supporters Trump is winning by A LOT. Plus, you can’t be a proper right wing dictator without having 90%+ of the people vote for you in ‘fair’ elections….

    • Zyxomma

      Oh, like Saddam Hussein?

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    It doesn’t make sense that Hillary is winning. I mean, just look at my Facebook feed!

    • Shan the Libtart

      Oy, then going by mine it should be Bernie.

    • obadiahorthodox

      i block those luuuusers on my newsfeed

  • chortlingdingo

    I like how that guy thinks that 20K people showing up at a Trump rally means that he should clearly be winning when we have something like 250 million registered voters in this country. 20K is a drop in the bucket, honey bear.

  • beavertank

    My favorite thing about this years unskewed polls is how in their version of reality it’s constantly a tight back and forth between Clinton and Trump until the polls start showing an actual (brief) Trump lead at which point the polls need little to no unskewing and they’re actually correct!

    …but then the tides reverse and we’re back to adding in arbitrary points for Trump because “reasons”.

  • RobKanC

    Ah yes. The new unskewing polls guy for Trumpkin. Worked out really well for Romney 4 years ago.

  • Gib

    That last paragraph was magic.

  • parkii

    ACORN, bahahahaha! These must be the same geniuses who think it’s Obama’s fault that the handling of Katrina was such a mess.

    • kareemachan

      Or that the death of Humayun Khan was Obama’s fault, even if he died on shrub’s watch….

  • atheistinafoxhole

    Say, do you know who else skewed the polls?

    • Doug Langley

      Joan Crawford?

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Did you say that Trump screwed the pooch?

      Must be true ‘cuz I just read it.

      “Oh. Skewed…polls…. Just carry on.

    • bozilingus

      Olympic Gymnastics Uneven Parallel Bars?

    • PubOption

      Is it Stalin this time?

      • atheistinafoxhole

        You are halfway correct.

        • chicken thief

          Sta?

          or maybe “Lin”?

          • atheistinafoxhole

            No, no, no. (Drums fingers impatiently) If you had read the assignment you would know the correct answer is Joseph Stalin AND the guys the nazis appointed to judge the pole vault competition in the 1936 Berlin OIympics!

    • kareemachan

      Putin?

    • chicken thief

      That chubb-o dancer at the Badda Bing?

  • AnOuthouse

    Can we combine all those red areas on that map into one state so they only have 2 senators?

    • chicken thief

      2 can not do anything just as well as 42 can!

  • natoslug

    The Bilderberg Group is heartbroken that they weren’t included in the conspiracy of the day.

    • beavertank

      They keep losing out to those damn Bohemian owls in their grove. They really need to fire their PR guy.

    • revenant

      Reverse Vampires haz a sad

      • natoslug

        Is that anything like reverse cowgirl?

  • WeaselPoo

    Isn’t Poll Unskewer one of those new jobs Obama’s always going on about? Thanks Obama! Thanks A LOT!

  • Bebecca

    Remember how well this worked out for Mitt? They used republican statistics and were certain they were going to win; they were so certain, Mitt didn’t even prepare a concession speech. I’m good with their delusion.

  • Okely D’Oprah

    I went to a St. Louis Cardinals’ game last night and there were 40,000 people there, and yet the newspaper says they’re 12 games behind the Cubs. How can that be?

    Wake up, libtards! Baseball is rigged and “the media” is in on it.

    • Brendan_M

      The Chicago Cubs? You know who is from Chicago, right?

      • Okely D’Oprah

        Hitler—although I’m not 100% positive about that.

        • Brendan_M

          I recently read Hitler was from Chicago somewhere on the Internet, so this checks out!

  • Doug Langley
    • HanBarbara

      The Onion…often stomping on the boundaries of good taste.

      • Doug Langley

        And we wouldn’t have it any other way.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    They need to check their figures because after last night’s concert, I do believe Axl Rose is going to be our next President.

  • The Librarian

    “Cryogenically frozen head of Walt Disney”. I haven’t heard that mentioned in years. Thanks for the lol!

    Also, can these same polling idiots make me 20 years younger? They seem to be able to work miracles…..

  • Señor Skwerl

    You guys are wrong. This poalling organization is always accurate and rePutinable. They say that I am attractive to 100% of human females.

  • anna rampage

    I believe Rasmussen has Trump up as well, but then again, they predicted Mittens R-Money was suppose to win 2012 by 195%…

  • Bren

    You know all them librull pollsters are asking too many blahs. And them are only 3/5 th of us real ‘Muricans, so when they say she’s got 50% support we all know she’s only got 30% really. My cuzzin Jethro told me that and I’ll get him to back me up just as soon as he finishes chasing his sister. He might be a while cuz she can run faster with her skirt up than he can with his overalls round hiz ankles, y’all know what I mean.

  • GalacticPunt

    But where do The Cigarette Smoking Man, the Reverse Vampires, and Harambe fit into the vast conspiracy? People are saying probably Hologram Tupac outranks them.

    • Skadi

      We never did find out for certain what Ciggy’s real name was, did we? Could it be–

      *is taken away by Secret Service*

  • natoslug

    If you’re part of the silent majority, my Trumplings, why the fuck won’t you all shut up? What part of silent do you not understand?

    • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

      Unfortunately for Trump, his “silent majority” are not a majority. Unfortunately for us, they aren’t silent.

  • Rev. Tom

    The part that I am most looking forward to is that afternoon in January when Trump shows up at the White House with his movers and his gold-leafing team because the Trumpettes totally told him he won the election. He is going to be so irate when they won’t let him past the security gates. I want that crap on video tape.

    • anna rampage

      And what is he going to do with the big gold TRUMP sign & all the lights that he was going to have installed on top of the new Trump White House & Casino?

      • beavertank

        He’ll just have to build a classy highway rest area instead. Except he’ll start on the contract, take too long to finish it using unskilled labor even where skilled is needed, then slap it together at the last second when the state is threatening to sue and produce a falling down pile of crap that can’t be salvaged and just has to be torn down.

        Like everything else he has ever touched.

        • Khavrinen

          Then declare bankruptcy so he won’t have to pay for any of it.
          Which will prove, yet again, how he’s such a great businessman.

      • Mezzaluna

        It’s not like he was going to pay for them anyway. I reckon they’ll sell them on eBay.

      • Rev. Tom

        If I’m not mistaken, I believe the big gold TRUMP sign is actually intended for the Statue of Liberty remodel, and there is already a major casino on Capital Hill.

    • SisterArtemis

      “gold leafing team”…

      47 upfists! Do you have a mega church, Rev.? Can I join the congregation from the comfort of my interwebs?

  • Jenny

    I’m pretty the majority of reddit has no idea how anything works.

  • Of course Trump has more people at his rallies. The circus always draws a lot of people in when it rolls into town.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      And they all love clowns.

      • James Christopher Owen

        Quick send in the clowns…don’t bother, they’re here…

  • vivian

    In a new poll from Viviania, 100% of the people who think the same as I do agree with me! 100%! It’s a landslide for Cookies and Beer!

    • Mezzaluna

      Dissent! Outliers want pastries and wine!

      • cousin itt

        Splitters!

      • greyXstar

        Libruls!!1!!!

      • Skadi

        …can we compromise with pastries and beer?

      • Allen Jordan

        Hydrox!

        • thenearesthippie

          Pervert.

    • theblackdog

      I demand a recount!

    • phoenix00

      The Wine And Cheese contingent, however will not go away quietly

  • BearGHAZI

    I remember how all those unskewed polls led Romney to a historic victory in 2012. Republican math is the best math

    • anna rampage

      Ham Rove seemed to buy into the racket….

      • Incoming Ham

        I take exception to the “Ham” reference

        • anna rampage

          I do too, but the resemblance to one of those mass produced, water laden hams is uncanny to say the least…

          • Incoming Ham

            True, however more to pork butt than tenderloin.

      • kareemachan

        I savor the memory of that meltdown to this very day. Ah, Hamhead….

        • obadiahorthodox
          • Zyxomma

            I like when Turdblossom starts stuttering (like Porky Pig, but that’s an insult to pigs), although it’s not as much fun as when he fully melts down.

        • SisterArtemis

          For me, it has finally dwindled to every other Thursday.

          BUT HEY! since you bring it up, and obadiahorthodox has kindly provided to youtubes to go surfing with….

  • Incoming Ham

    Trump supporters don’t need no stinkin’ statistics. They just “feel” it – like Newt Gingrich “feels” everything – which is why he has been married three times.

    • beavertank

      I believe you may be downplaying the role of whore diamonds in Newt Gingrich’s life.

  • Mezzaluna

    Has anyone else shared this gem of wooly thinking?
    http://www.mediaite.com/online/hannity-mainstreams-a-very-silly-response-to-trumps-bad-poll-numbers/
    That’s right folks, social media is the real indicator of support.

    • ryp

      Facebook likes are the new lawn signs.

      • Gleem-McShinez

        I can’t wait till we elect presidents based on Wonket Upfists.

    • BosGrl

      Nice troll over there whipping out his “facts” a few hours ago. They do a good job dealing with trolls at Mediaite too :)

      • Mezzaluna

        The post on Warrens tweets ar infested with the morons.

    • Jamoche

      Anyone else old enough to remember “the lurkers support me in email”?

      • berkeleyfarm

        Thanks to the fabulous and talented Jo Walton for this enduring gem:

        (Tune: “My Bonny Lies Over The Ocean”)

        ♫The lurkers support me in email
        They all think I’m great don’t you know.
        You posters just don’t understand me
        But soon you will reap what you sow.

        Lurkers, lurkers, lurkers support me, you’ll see, you’ll see
        off in e-mail the lurkers support me, you’ll see.

        Oh it’s true, and you know they support me.
        There’s thousands of lurkers out there!
        They all understand my intentions
        you posters are not being fair!

        Lurkers, lurkers, lurkers support me, you’ll see, you’ll see
        off in e-mail the lurkers support me, you’ll see

        The lurkers support me in email
        “So why don’t they post?” you all cry
        They’re scared of your hostile intentions
        they’re not as courageous as I.

        Lurkers, lurkers, lurkers support me, you’ll see, you’ll see
        off in e-mail the lurkers support me, you’ll see.♫

    • berkeleyfarm

      Preznit RON PAUL can confirm!

  • MrCanoehead

    Why didn’t you show the REAL pictures of the Trumpiverse? Hennnnngh?

    • phoenix00

      I assume that London is the new capital of Brexit

      • MrCanoehead

        In the Trumpiverse, the EU voted to leave Britain. Britain just said they voted to leave so no one would think they got dumped.

        • phoenix00

          The Trumpiverse has no clue what a Brexit is, and can likely not find Great Britain on a map.

          Hell, they’ll wonder why Britain is Great and not America.

          • MrCanoehead

            Geographical names in the Trumpiverse:
            Okay Britain
            Adequate Barrier Reef
            Yeah Whatever Circle Route

            The Great Lake and Four Other Lakes

          • phoenix00

            Make One Lake Great Again!

  • ryp

    Ah, yes, “The Bradley Effect”, a 1980s phenomenon that Obama twice buried deep, but is still the hope of Republicans every cycle. As dead as “Reagan Democrats”, another blast from the past that will supposedly give Trump a boost in November. Has anyone figured out what all the “Soccer Moms” are doing this year?

  • Professor Fate

    My word this has the feel of the first stage of Grief – Denial… trouble is I’m guessing based on past experience, these folks will only get to Anger and stop there. .
    Almost sad the inevitability of this.

    • phoenix00

      Couple that with the high percentage of such Angry people with “gun nuts”….

      • eddi

        The Secret Service is going to blame every sleepless night they have for the next 8 years on Trump.

  • Francisca

    “many Trump supporters believe that it is UNPOSSIBLE that Trump is losing in the polls here in the Regularverse, because he has so many people at his rallies, and that is how you figure out who is winning in the Trumperverse.” Isn’t this the same observation made by the Bernieverse?

    • Jared James

      Sick bern, dude.

    • SisterArtemis

      I’d be so curious to know – for Trump and Bernie (and Hillz, for that matter) – what percentage of people at their rallies were there just to check out the candidate, rather than because they were already a fan. I’m guessing it’s a pretty hefty number – not half, or anything like that, but a good healthy chunk of “let’s go watch the train wreck” attendees

  • greyXstar

    69℅ believe the election will be rigged for Hillzapoppin because Hair Ferret said so, but he totes wasn’t fishing for a Second Amendment solution yesterday. Obvs.

  • proudgrampa

    “Reality? I don’ got to show you no steenkin’ reality! HARHARHAR!”

  • chicken thief

    All this back and forth is giving me a headache. My mind is made up – Trump is winning so stop bothering me with useless biased polls.

  • Bitter Scribe

    After the 2012 election, the Unskewed Polls guy said something to the effect that he was right all along, but Obama won because black voters something something.

    • beavertank

      He also tried to claim that he was “wrong” because he didn’t factor in voter fraud.

      …I guess believing in a democracy destroying conspiracy against your party is better than admitting you’re wrong…?

      • eddi

        Reality sucks.

  • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

    They used to say “the only poll that matters is the one held on election day.” To these people the only poll that matters is the one that says they win. Any other result is, ipso facto, proof that the result has been rigged. The comments from RWNJ’s on Facebook comment threads are particularly disturbing. Many of these people are nuts.

  • amindofitsown

    Just by reporting on this, Wonkette has shown that they must hate Trump and want to see the downfall of America. Freedom of speech is great-when it’s not our Trumpelstilskin that’s getting the short end of the stick. Any negative word about Trump is like a nail into Zombie Jesus’ heart.

  • Winning !!
    — Charlie Sheen

  • HolidayinCambodia

    Goebbels: Yesterday, we invaded England!

    Hitler: How did we do?

    Goebbels: We BEAT ’em!

    • phoenix00

      If I remember right Hermann Goerring had more to do with it

      • eddi

        “If they bomb Berlin, you can call me Meyer.”

        • phoenix00

          Oscar? Hot dogs libelz!!

          • eddi

            In those days it was Jewish libel. And guess who ate his words with kraut and mustard?

          • phoenix00

            Please let it be Fanta-Hitler…..

          • eddi

            It was Hermann. After Hitler ordered London bombed during the Blitz, The RAF attacked Berlin in kind. Nobody dared call him Meyer to his face, but his reputation got a severe crack in it.

      • HolidayinCambodia

        Maybe so, but Goering wasn’t in that scene of “Springtime for Hitler.”

        • phoenix00

          Now would the modern parallel be Christie or Pence with Fanta-Hitler?

  • arensb

    Everybody they talk to at the tractor pull is a Trump supporter, so clearly the polls must be wrong.

    • efoveks

      Just don’t argue that with the hammer throwers. They get a little touchy about that kind of stuff..

    • eddi

      Tractor pull you say? Trump style, like this?

      • arensb

        Needs more gold.

  • Rotational Symmetry

    Just to be clear, though, the 538 numbers aren’t “poll numbers” in the traditional sense — that 94.7% vs 5.3% doesn’t mean that HRC is up by 89.4 points, just that her probability of winning is 94.7%.

    • SisterArtemis

      So true so true….
      But don’t you just want to shove those numbers in the nearest Trumpastanian face and PRETEND that’s what’s happening? Just to see their heads get all splodey WITH VOTES (the potential kind)…

    • eddi

      I like those odds. If she beats Trump by 10% in actual votes, that’s fine too.

  • chascates

    I want these people to work on my high school and college GPAs.

    • eddi

      Harvard here I come.

  • Enfant Terrible

    Attn, ShyPixel: there is a script running in the background that is hosing things up. Please fix or disable.

    • Pierre_de_Fermat

      Something devours memory. I usually read with FireFox.

      • Regret

        I get a black screen for a second every time the autoplay thingy below the article starts a new bit.
        Inspect Element points at “wbtz-embed-player wbtz-wrapper wbtz-pause wbtz-wrapper-sm”

        It gets especially annoying when I have 10+ wonkette tabs open and 10 times every 10-20s my screen blacks out.

        • eddi

          Kill it with Ad Block Plus fire. ||wibbitz.com^ in the custom adblock filters.

          • Pierre_de_Fermat

            I have not used any of that so far, mostly because I know that’s how the site makes $$ (and yes, I have sent $$ in too), and I appreciate Rebecca being a job creator and all (does this mean she is going to slowly but surely become a Republican?). And it only recently got bad again. Using W7 task manager, with 4 tabs open in FF, memory use is high (but not out of range), page faults are in the millions and I’ve been on for well over an hour. An i7 chip, so if I were writing a fortran program to calculate a gamma function value, it would be great (at least the CPUs are unlikely to peg out, unlike at work). At work, I have taken to not having Our Wonkette up (well, have to check in occasionally). TalkingPointsMemo had some issues with ads a while back but that seems to have passed. Oh well. more devops awaits.

          • eddi

            Ads that autoplay are not good. In the sense of being properly constructed. You might see if you can disable at least that aspect. Wonkette gets the eyeball money and you get a cooler running CPU.

          • Pierre_de_Fermat

            I disabled flash for that reason, but the newer html seems to be harder to block, so I usually just leave. Hard to imagine who would think autoplay was a good idea. Just seems an annoyance if not worse.

          • eddi

            A still picture is too easy to ignore. They have gone from animated GIF to Flash to HTML 5 in the attempt to attract. No matter how much it irritates.

          • Regret

            Thanks for the tip!
            I hadn’t tried manually adding the filter, (Rightclick blocks didn’t work.)

          • eddi

            Whoever designed Wibbitz made sure the basics wound not work against it.

          • Regret

            It is curious how often companies try to attract customers by doing battle with them.

          • eddi

            We are not the customer. We are the product. The customer is the web site owner. Who receives a small bit of change every time the ad shows up. Block the ad link, no money for them. Unfortunately, even with the best intentions, not everybody pays directly to the site owners.

          • Regret

            That’s true.
            I should give more money directly to people and organisations I like, thanks for reminding me.

  • khanurik

    As long as you’re name-checking the Cryogenically Frozen Head lobby, I’m disappointed you didn’t include Ted Williams – the Splendid Splinter and distinguished combat veteran who, fun fact, was half-Mexican in the era of segregated baseball

  • George

    Ah, Robyn…The Trumpverse, dystopian nightmare that it is, at least lets you and I meet (in the confines of our cramped liberal detention center) and date, briefly, before our scheduled executions.

    Come to think of it, that might up the dystopian quotient for you in a lot of ways, so never mind! On the bright side, you DO win a Tony…the last one before all the Broadway theaters are converted into casino/hotels.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Actually, I’m OK with Drumpf claiming he’s winning. In fact, I hope the electorate believes him. Because I want every Clinton voter scared and angry and voting like she’s 20 points behind, not procrastinating and being complacent like she’s 20 points ahead.We need to bury this SOB

    • JohnQFugly

      I hope his semi-concession was more legitimate than he led on.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    True story: those Bohemian Grove people (the illuminati) killed Scalia. They also killed HST after he made that snuff film and had second thoughts about it.

    • There’s a website that swears HST was murdered because he was about to spill the beans on 9/11. Assuming you mean Hunter S. Thompson and not Harry S. Truman?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        yup, it’s all part of the same fascinating rabbit hole

  • dshwa

    Georgia? Hillary might win Georgia? Wow.

    • berkeleyfarm

      I will laugh like a hyena if HRC carries either Georgia or Arizona.

      • Pierre_de_Fermat

        Right now, it is still one of those “well, that would be interesting” things, and (at a minimum) is a shot across the GOP’s bow. If the party is to rebuild in GA, it will have to start with things like this. Losses have to be expected. I don’t think the state party did the kind of candidate recruitment they might have (did a lot two years ago, but got shot down). Probably anticipating a big run in 2018; the collapse of the Republicans with a possible civil war to follow was not on anyone’s screen.

      • Teto85

        And South Carolina is no longer deep red but pink in several polls, including 538, and trending towards blue.

        • berkeleyfarm

          Demographic changes (minus voter repression, which is why considerable efforts in this direction are known happening both places) in GA and AZ are definitely in the direction of making those states swing states, much like has been happening in VA/NC (for GA) and NM/Nevada (for AZ).

          Of course I like telling The Kids that up through Bill Clinton’s second term, California was a swing state tending R in national elections (Clinton won our EVs in 92 by a plurality because of Perot’s candidacy).

          • Teto85

            Farms? In Berkeley!?!?!?!?!?
            Moooooo!!!

            Old radio commercial.

  • thenearesthippie

    I have yet to encounter a reticent Trump supporter.

    • berkeleyfarm

      That’s the thing.

      I could think the “Bradley effect” (thanks to the down-thread commenter who mentioned that) was a possiblity, where the racists would quietly (after lying on any polls etc) come out of the woodwork to vote for their guy.

      And the polls around the California primary were getting buzz as TCTC/close and Clinton won handily (as this Californian aware of state demographics expected), because a lot of Hillz’ voters were keeping on the down low (in my case, to avoid yet another “well-meaning” lecture) or just not responding to polls. (Also, too, GOTV-type organization was not one of the Sanders campaign’s strong suits.)

      But, yeah, I think a lot of Trump’s supporters really want to tell the world about it, as often as possible.

      • CripesAmighty

        Ayup. There’s some shmuck in my neck of the woods whose Hyundai is festooned with “Trump–Make Ameri..blabla..” and–wait for it.–“INFOWARS”, bumper stickers. In an apartment complex that’s like, 90% latino. Bet he gets invited to lotsa parties.

        • berkeleyfarm

          A Hyundai? Oh, the irony.

          • phoenix00

            His argument would have been on par with Genesis but instead was Accent-ed with Elan(tra)

  • Swampay

    “many Trump supporters believe that it is UNPOSSIBLE that Trump is losing in the polls here in the Regularverse, because he has so many people at his rallies, and that is how you figure out who is winning in the Trumperverse.”

    Don’t knock it, look how well that line of thinking worked out for the Bernie Bros

  • Zeppelins flying over London – that’s some hard core steampunk porn right there.

  • whitroth

    Wait… 0.5% is *way* less than the usual margin of error, which I keep hearing is 3%, or sometimes 4%.

    And if those dirigibles were Trump’s, you’d really not want to be under them, since he’s probably cheaping out on the maintenance….

  • Zyxomma

    I’m glad I live in the Regularverse. Well, sorta. Anyhow, I don’t want to live in the Trumperverse.

    • DoctorBill

      worlds diverging. after the election they will continue to live out their lives in a virtual reality made in their own image.

      • eddi

        30% of the US population will be happy. That’s something good isn’t it?

    • phoenix00

      The Trudeauverse up here ain’t so bad either.

      • eddi

        Oh right, rub it in why don’t you.

        • phoenix00

          Well it ain’t perfect, but we try to keep the Sufferin’ Saccotash to a minimum.

      • starfanglednut

        Sigh… Back to my bunk I go.

        • phoenix00

          Aww don’t stay in your bunk, you can come up and see for yourself. Exchange rate is awesome for you guys right now!

  • Ad hoc reasoning is the best reasoning. The very best.

    • eddi

      Heavy emotional investment creates some interesting reasoning.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    It’s 2012 all over again. Fox News and right-wing radio insisted that Mitt was beating Obama, and they beat that drum so hard that everyone, including Karl Rove, was caught completely off guard when the real world landed on them.

    • eddi

      This is gonna hurt even worse. Not only will Dems win the White House, they will edge out the Rebs in the Senate. And if Trump really goes off the deep end, they will get more people in the House. And 2018 will catch the Rebs still slaughtering RINOs and trying to get Jesus to run for a Senate seat. While all the surviving minority members start a new Conservative Party. That will put the Greens and Libertarians in spitting distance of a couple of House seats. We may yet see a multiparty system emerge from the smoking wreckage of Trump’s ego.

      • Teto85

        That, a multiparty system, would not be a bad thing. In fact, it might get some people to sit up and take notice and do something in Congress besides sit on their asses and collecting their paychecks.

        • eddi

          Assuming the Democrats stay fairly solidly in the majority, the shifting ideologies and loyalties of the other parties will keep things moving. It stays Democrat and Conservative the battles will be economic not social issues. Then the Old Republicans will be left sulking in a corner complaining about everything and the rest will be one-issue parties

          • Teto85

            The Electoral College essentially created and supports a two main party system. To free us up at a national level it needs to go and a presidential election has to be by popular majority. President Gore would have appreciated that. State and local elections mimic the federal, but some are now runoff between the top two, no matter what the party and some are weighted. One city had a mayor who lost amongst 1st place votes but won because she had more second choice votes than the top two candidates combined and neither of them had a majority of first choice votes. President Shepard said, “America is hard.”

    • Gregory Brown

      Watching reality land on Rove’s head that night produced a feeling of serene, spiritual creaminess akin to nirvana, a timeless feeling of joy that I wanted never to end.

  • Josh Di Donato

    Ooh! Ooh! I wanna make my own charts that show that my side wins! Ooh! So excited! I didn’t know you could just do that!

  • ADHDJ

    They claim to have predicted the last 2 elections here: https://www.longroom.com/polls/methodology/
    Up until 2013 that URL was a GoDaddy “this domain has been registered” site.

    Dishonest fucks. The people who put together this site know they are lying their asses off to sell false hope to people. That’s pathetic.

    • Land Shark

      And clicks. Lots of clicks. Basically a scam site to collect ad clicks.

  • Ryan Denniston

    “and also it will be very cool and chic to use racial epithets, and everyone will laugh at their jokes”

    Also too, whistle at all the broads and dames as they walk down the street. After all, equal rights basically means to treat anyone not a white male as inferior in some way. At least if you’re on the right.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Waiting for the Trumpenfuerher to go to S Carolina and work the magic of his mouth so the entire sourthern seaboard goes blue.

    • kaydenpat

      That would be awesome.

    • mrpuma2u

      Give it another month tops. We’ll be good.

  • Teto85

    After this election the Rs will think Alf Landon had a good day.

  • kaydenpat

    Hey there, Trump voters. Don’t waste your time to vote because as your Great Leader has already told you, the election is rigged. Stay home instead.

  • Iam Reading

    I no longer give fuck one about anything any Trump voter thinks, ever. They are dead to me. A group so divorced from reality and simple decency is beneath me. Sound elitist? Good.

    • pat tolle

      @Iam Reading-So what if it sounds elitist.I’m wondering when elite became a pejorative? The cons are trying to do the same thing to that word as they’ve done to liberal.

  • Moe Smith

    Another propaganda that would make the Nazi germans proud.

    • doktorzoom

      Yeah, those Nazis were all about public opinion polling.

  • Siegfried Heydrich

    And meanwhile, back at the ranch, Grandmaw was beating off the indians with a broom . . . and they were still coming!

    • Gregory Brown

      Sexytime puns libelz!

  • TeeRaak
  • chazmanr

    I see that Trump is taking his lead from another one of his favorite dictators, Kim Jung Un.

  • MYSTERY SOLVED!
    A group of billionaire Democrats have gotten together and made Donald Trump an offer he couldn’t refuse: “Here’s a billion dollars to throw the election, so that Hillary wins.”

    Naturally, Trump accepted the offer, but to everyone’s dismay, no matter how crazy he acted, it wasn’t working, so about two weeks ago the ‘investors’ gave him an ultimatum: “Either go completely nuts and take the entire Republican party down with you, or give the billion back to us.”

    Well, you can see by his actions which option he chose… and trust me: I’m the author of a popular 20-book series of mysteries, and I believe I’ve actually solved this one.

    Gene Grossman, author – http://www.LegalMystery.com

  • JohnQFugly

    “…because he has so many people at his rallies, and that is how you figure out who is winning in the Trumperverse.”

    Also, too, the much-adored statement “no one I know is voting for Clinton” is considered a quantified voter metric.

    • Maybe

      Clearly kittens and porn are winning if you go by social media activity.

  • mary5920

    I am still fascinated by the “undecided voters” that get put on bleachers during debates and questioned afterwards, when they soberly state that they need more information.

    Will this horrific Drumpf person finally bust up their act, or will they again try to pretend they haven’t compiled enough facts to make up their wee little minds?

    • Meri

      Pfft. How is it not a single SCOTUS nominee has ever had any opinion on abortion before their nomination? Same thing.

      • mary5920

        Not really the same thing at all. The Supreme Court nominees are supposed to not have bias. Impossible of course, but the idea is to objectively weigh each case on the merits.
        Apples and Oranges fallacy.

        • Meri

          Not really. Both groups are lying. Both groups have already made up their minds, just don’t want to admit it.

          One, because once you’re committed nobody gives a damn what you think, the other because they want the job.

          • mary5920

            Whatever.

          • Maybe

            You seem to see things in black-and-white. A rational SC nominee may have general opinions, but individual cases vary hugely and there is a huge amount of case law that must be analyzed.

          • Meri

            Yes, and isn’t it amazing how rarely a surprise comes up when such a situation rolls around? It’s almost like one could guess what any given justice would do based on their previous actions.

            But that can’t be, because individual cases vary hugely and there is a huge amount of case law that must be analyzed.

          • Maybe

            Of course you can guess, but it’s just a guess. Even experts on the Court–and you clearly aren’t one–cannot accurately predict the outcome of any given case.

            BTW, you’re still insisting on seeing things in black-and-white. Don’t you ever bore yourself?

          • Meri

            Go ahead and produce some surprising abortion votes from Scalia, Alito, or Thomas, then.

          • Maybe

            I would certainly be surprised by any sort of abortion vote from Scalia since he’s been dead since February.

          • Meri

            Couldn’t think of a single one, huh?

            That’s okay, don’t think of it as an abject (black) failure. Think of it on some sort of sliding grey scale.

          • Maybe

            You are replying to something I did not say. You’re just making stuff up.

            Essentially you are creating a straw man. Or, in this case, a straw zombie.

  • diogenez

    “Now, there are MANY theories in the Trumperverse about why Trump is losing in the polls in the Regularverse.”

    My theory: Trump supporters have a tenuous grasp of reality…?

  • snark-lurker

    totally OT: my shirt, my bumper sticker, [I] say, “I have no gun(s) because I am not afraid because I am not a coward.” & know what? NOBODY fucks with me.

    • snark-lurker

      addendumb: my son sez I “intimidate” people & I hoestly don’t know why–no tats, no freaky piercings, non-confrontational, normal clothes (well, not really), no chopper or colors–I drive a fucking ’11 Nissan Sentra for peats sake! But everybody who knows me wants to chat me up & won’t leave me alone…now WTF is up with that?

      • wavicles

        You could grow up to be President.

        • RalphFotheringhamSmyth

          He’d have to learn how to spell first.

  • HOW THE RACE WILL END
    To avoid a devastating election loss that would destroy both his ego and his image, Donald Trump has only one way to go: before the first debate, he will drop out of the race because of a serious illness – either his or his 46-year-old wife’s.
    I would put my money on Melania, because she’s already reached the point where she’s too old for Donald, and is probably just couple of wrinkles away from being replaced anyway.
    There will be some diagnosis of a ground-breaking TV soap-opera disease, as the result of an off-camera collapse due to extreme stress of the campaign and the terrible way people have been treating her husband.
    It will be announced that she may be suffering from a rare strain of extreme Slovenian Mono, and must recuperate in the world’s best Mono treatment center – amazingly located in Ljubljana, the capitol of Slovenia, from which no progress reports on her condition will be forthcoming because the dial is broken on the center’s phone… and of course the Donald must travel there, thereby forcing him to be a devoted husband willing to give up his realm to be by his ailing wife’s side.
    Hillary is President, Bill is interviewing interns, Slovenia wins a spot on the tourist map, Donald bows out gracefully and finds another model, Sean Hannity lands a job cleaning toilets at Rush Limbaugh’s Florida Mansion, thanks to Mr. Ailes, Don’s butler.
    Roger Stone and Alex Jones are finally returned to the Conspiracy Store, and we all live happily ever after.

    Gene Grossman, author – http://www.LegalMystery.com

  • Maybe

    I remember Scott Adams. He used to write a clever cartoon strip. They he decided to support Mitt Romney ’cause Romney (who eschews coffee because of the demon drug caffeine) was surely going to legalize marijuana.

    Scott, I think you’ve had too much marijuana already. Try some coffee.

  • Arthur Gane

    Can someone let all the Trumpkins know that I have this Bridge and Opera House in Sydney Australia going real cheap. Its YUUUUGe and very killtural.

  • Lord-Nash

    Oddly enough, the 20k people at the Trump rally were all wearing Cleveland Cavaliers jerseys, hats, and waving Cavs flags. Explain that.

  • Guy Branderwyle

    This may be the largest compilation of Trumpisms anywhere (knida like the biggest pile of crap). http://www.sleazeball.webs.com

  • WampusKat

    Yes, we remember those “unskewed” polls quite clearly. We’ve been here before:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ypTexQ241Ws

    “Note where he wonders if President Obama’s supporters would be enthused enough in 2012 “to get out of bed” and vote …. oh boy.

    …. and not once in the entire interview did the ‘king’ of civil liberties mention GOP voter suppression efforts.

    But, hey, not an issue that concerns him, of course.”

    Courtesy of The Obama Diary.

  • Pongo

    87 days to go and I already have advanced TFS (Trump Fatigue Syndrome), characterized by:

    1. Irritation/blistering of hands and forehead from repetitive face-palming
    2. Hypersensitivity and anxiety triggered by the sound of Trump’s voice
    3. Obsessive/compulsive need to locate reliable sources to fact check unending false statements
    4. Avoidance of the Internet to protect self from daily bombardment of ‘fresh hell’ Trump has unleashed on the populace.
    5. Generalized unease and mild clinical depression that in polls, 40% of Americans ‘likely to vote’ still support this f**ng idiot

    Just hope we all survive this devastating new plague.

  • Ergoetal

    “…head of Walt Disney, the Rothschilds, those Bohemian Grove people, the Queen, the Vatican, the progeny of Colonel Sanders, Tupac…”

    I happen to know the specific reason you left Elvis off this list – see my soon-to-appear Youtube channel.

  • WookieInHeat

    haha this whole article is based around nate silver’s predictions, the guy who gave trump a 2% chance of capturing the republican nomination.

    better cross your fingies!

    • nhunter77018

      The guy who correctly predicted the results in 49/50 states in 2008 and 50/50 in 2012.

      • WookieInHeat

        yup, and then he went and shot himself in the foot with his trump prediction.

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