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If only Democrats loved America. Sad!
If only Democrats loved America. Sad!

Donald Trump’s presidential campaign is really the most fascinating Frankenstein’s monster, sewing together bits and bobs of various long-dead political movements like the “America First” movement of the 1930s or Nixon’s “Silent Majority” and “Law and Order” mantras. The Igors have been working overtime in 2016, and the latest clump of rotting right-wing viscera to be drained of formaldehyde and reanimated is that classic from the Bush/Dukakis race of 1988: Dems don’t love the flag enough! At a Wednesday press conference at his golf club in Doral, Florida, Trump trotted out a few E Plebnista lies about Dems and The Holy Banner, which is sacred to Yangs and despised by Komms:

They don’t even mention our police, they mention everybody but our police. They don’t even have an American flag on the dais until we started complaining, and then they ran up with two very small little flags, one that we saw…

Needless to say, the second night of the DNC included speeches by law enforcement officers, and no, the flags at the DNC didn’t only start showing up on Day Two, after Trumpkins “shamed” the Dems into it. As Oliver Willis points out, the flag was prominent Monday as well, within the first 20 minutes of the opening gavel:

DNC flag tweet

This has apparently been quite the big deal with certain outlets on the right! The Daily Caller flatly claimed “No Visible American Flags Present At The Democrat Convention,” offering as proof this pair of images of the two conventions:

daily caller flags pic

Of course, as Snopes points out, no, that’s not entirely a stage full of flags behind Trump — it was a digital image of a bunch of flags. And yes, the Dems have had no shortage of flags, both virtual and physical:

DNC flags

They're such tiny flags, though. Clearly an afterthought
They’re such tiny flags, though. Clearly an afterthought

Never mind reality, of course — this bullshit has already entered the Republican id and is for them simply more evidence that Democrats do not love America. We always like to dispel that myth by quoting Al Franken, who dismantled it quite well in 2003 in his epic Lies and the Lying Liars who Tell Them. It’s just that conservatives and liberals understand patriotism a little differently:

They don’t get it. We love America just as much as they do. But in a different way. You see, they love America the way a four-year-old loves her mommy. Liberals love America like grown-ups. To a four-year-old, everything mommy does is wonderful and anyone who criticizes mommy is bad. Grown-up love means understanding what you love, taking the good with the bad, and helping your loved one grow. Love takes attention and work and is the best thing in the world. That’s why we liberals want America to do the right thing. We know America is the hope of the world, and we love it and want it to do well.

And that’s what patriotism is all about, Charlie Trump. Also, we dare Donald Trump to draw a freehand map of the USA from memory like Al Franken can. Never gonna happen.

Also, as one brilliant Twitter smartass spotted by .Mic pointed out, at least Hillary’s supporters know which country they’re actually patriotic toward:

trump confederate tweet

We rather like being grown-ups. But let’s wave those flags anyway, if only to remind Republicans how wrong they are about how much liberals love our country. And to remind them we own that flag too, even if we don’t mistake it for an object of unquestioning worship. What’s next, loyalty oaths? Ah well. We suppose we could talk about policy, too.

[CNN on Twitter / Snopes / Daily Caller / .Mic]

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  • Seaside

    The word ‘Patriot’ is a lot like ‘Talented’, ‘Beautiful’, or ‘Intelligent’ — if you feel the need to apply it to yourself it almost certainly isn’t true.

    • chimichanga

      Much like giving yourself a nickname.
      Signed,
      Hilarious Snarkmeister

    • Lefty Frizzell

      Yeah – like saying you know the Iran deal better than anyone, have the best memory in the world, and are the fittest man ever to run for president. Not just good, mind – the best, in all categories. What kind of utter moron would say things like that?

      • Skeptical_thinker

        AOTR,K.

    • parkii

      I think people who make it a point to call themselves “patriot” really mean “jingoist.”

      • Noxious1

        Most of them think a jingoist is someone who’s good at that game where you stack up those little blocks.

      • Jo Mathie

        We have the same thing over here with UKIP

    • pragmatist3

      On the other hand it would be good if more people realized they were dickheads.

  • h4rr4r

    You are confusing patriotism and nationalism.
    The right vastly prefers nationalism.

    • BadKitty904

      It always has.

  • Royal Ugly Dude, Esq.

    See the gold fringe on those flags? Admiralty flags don’t count.

    • h4rr4r

      I do not recognize the authority of a court that hangs the gold-fringed flag. A flag with gilded edges is the flag of an admirality court. An admirality court signifies a naval court-martial. I cannot be court-martialled twice. That is all.

      • SuspectedDemocrat

        Are you commenting as the person, the agent, or settler of this matter?

        • h4rr4r

          The individual with eyelids and feet.

        • redarmyzombie

          All of them, Katie.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Wasn’t there a fringe candidate we used to mock in days gone by who went on rants about gold fringe on flags?

        • Historicat

          Wasn’t that BasilMarceaux.com?

  • wide_stance_hubby

    Hillary probably won’t even have her name in cheap gold painted letters 3 times her height, either. Pathetic.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    I really do not care what the Retarded National Convention/Trump folks say any more.

  • dslindc

    Noted Kim Davis-lover and putrid shit stain, Mike Huckabee, was tweeting the same thing yesterday.

    There are also flag decals at the bottom of every state’s name sign in the hall. Just more of the GOP divorcing themselves from any and all facts once again.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      That and always divorcing themselves from anything that really matters. If there is a bigger group of petty motherfuckers on the planet, I’d like to know who they are.

      • Crystalclear12

        Still looking………….don’t wait up.

  • anna rampage

    Trump supporters love all sorts of flags… American flags, Confederate falgs, why they even have Nazi flags at his rallies….

    • Nounverb911

      :-)

      • Creepoman

        I thought Brad and Angelina broke up?

    • Msgr_Moment

      Stupid, nasty Flaggots!

  • Fartknocker

    Oh Donald. You’re crack election team has run out of content. You should start preparing for the debates you short fingered peckerhead.

    • Señor Skwerl King

      Prepare? That word is not in Donald’s vocabulary.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      The π is a nice touch. How much do I care? I care π, what about you?

      • willi0000000

        approximately π, too.

        [ . . . so i guess i care “about pie” ]

  • BadKitty904

    Perhaps the Dems feel less need to wrap themselves in flags, since – unlike the GOP – they’re more focused on action than words.

  • cousin itt

    Hammer and Sickle or GTFO!

  • Jamoche

    Trump: proving “patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel” true once again.

    • Cliff Hendroval

      “Patriotism, n. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one
      ambitious to illuminate his name. In Dr. Johnson’s famous dictionary
      patriotism is defined as the last resort of a scoundrel. With all due
      respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer I beg to submit it
      is the first.” – Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary

  • jmhm

    Holy cow. He just said that Kaine did a terrible job as Governor of Jersey.

  • cheetojeebus

    This is rich, coming from the Russian nominee. I mean Republican. yeah that’s what i meant. Republican.

  • Joshua Norton

    They’ve been trotting out that old wheeze at every Dem convention since Reagan. They’ll take a picture before the hall is set up and immediately start yelling “See? No flags!!!”

    To quote Emerson:

    “The louder he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons.”

  • Melinda Piette

    I’m still waiting for Wonkette to comment on El Donaldo’s request for Putin to help sway the election and refusal to release his tax returns. AGAIN

    • Msgr_Moment

      Greta says he shouldn’t!

      • AngryKatie

        Well if Greta says, who are we to question.

  • Nounverb911

    Okay, I need to run out now to the liquor store, I hope they don’t run out before I get there.

    • Crystalclear12

      Depends, are you in red state or a blue state?

    • Reddishrabbit

      I put my life savings into liquor stock. I’ll be richer then Trump by November!

      • Blank Ron

        You had savings? You’re probably already richer than Trump.

  • Cismontane

    Should we do Convention decor based around the US or Russian flag, Drumpf?

  • HanBarbara

    The guy who just invited a hostile foreign power to root around in the former Secretart of States emails has something to say about patriotism?

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      They’re a christian power now so it’s totally cool, guys!

  • Brian

    He also said Russia should continue hacking American emails until they find Hilary’s missing emails! Which you know, is sort of worse than Watergate, encouraging cyber attacks from a foreign government.

    But I’m guessing that’s another post. The press conference was 100% insane.

    • doktorzoom

      Don’t worry, that’s on the way!

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Red Donald has crossed a line. Seriously. If this doesn’t faze his supporters we can assume they are all working for a foreign power.

      • nightmoth

        I assume his supporters are closeted homophobes and macho wannabes who all went “Squeee” over shirtless Putin and still haven’t come down from it.

      • Arolpin

        Well, Redstate is pissed, but they are the last refuge of the never-Trumps. Foxnation.com has obviously been given their talking points. It was just a joke, the left has no sense of humor, he didn’t mean it, it’s taken out of context. Then Drumpf tweeted it out, now the story is that Hillary is behind it.

        I want to know that the RWNJ say about dumb-donny’s statement about raising the minimum wage to $10/hour. I haven’t been this excited to get off the boat and search for mangos since November of 2008.

        • Egret1

          Why do they think that it was “just a joke” is a good excuse? People have been kicked off of planes for making the “wrong” jokes.

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          Me too. And I mostly meant snark about his followers working for a foreign power. I mean, who would have them? But Red Don not releasing his tax returns, allegedly to hide his Russian ties, and his frequent trips there and his apparent solicitation of campaign donations from “not real americans” really are worrisome.

  • Fifth-and-a-Half Element
  • Joe Beese

    There are 17 (images of) flags in the frame behind Trump there.

    You expect him to pay for 17 flags?

    • dslindc

      No, I expect him to order 17 and stiff the supplier.

      • chimichanga

        You said stiff. (insert Beavis/Butthead laugh here)

        • Treg.Brown

          You mean Eric and Don Jr?

  • Msgr_Moment

    Whale vagina says what?

  • Melinda Piette

    Good to see he’s back to being the absolute best campaigner EVER—–for Hillary Clinton, that is!

  • Señor Skwerl King

    Remember when they claimed Obama was pretending to be Zeus….er I mean Jesus.

    http://biglizards.net/Graphics/ForegroundPix/ObamaNominationGreekColumns.jpg

    • HanBarbara

      The whole Greek Columns kerfuffle. They’ve been very quiet about TelePrompTers, too.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      IOKIYAR

    • Joshua Norton

      See again NO FLAGS!!! Except for the ones that are there.

  • jmhm

    Doubling down on torture.

  • $100 says every single flag on Trump’s stage was made in China.

    • doktorzoom

      The ones right behind him were a digital projection, so we’d have to find out who made the pixels…

      • cousin itt

        Let’s not be Shy about.

      • glumcunt

        Haha, they were? I guess that’s what I get from peeking at that horror show of a flaming car crash through the gaps between my fingers! (and 3 fingers deep into a bottle of scotch if we’re being honest)

        • Nova

          I thought they were real too, but I only watched minutes between hours of that convention cause watching it too long brings the side affect of vomiting and headaches.

      • Major_Major_Major

        Furn ‘lectrons stealin’ merkin jerbs!!!11!11!1!

  • memzilla

    As for Trump hatin’ , when you’re in NYC, see if you can spot my wifi connection.
    .

    • (((JustPixelz)))

      Do you live in Trump Tower? Because most WiFi networks in that building use that name.

      • memzilla

        No, they’re on the “FuckedBYTrump” network.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    The RNC did have all the pageantry of Nuremberg circa 1936.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Leni Riefenstahl libelz! (In an aesthetic sense).

  • YoBunnyBunny

    Actually, Meryl’s flag dress was kinda fly…

    • BadKitty904

      Why did I look at that photo and hear the opening notes of Don’t Cry for Me, Argentina?

      • Oblios_Cap

        What? They couldn’t get a real star like Scotty Biao to speak?

        • BadKitty904

          The first time he was mentioned, in re: the RNC Convention, I literally had to Google him to see who he was.

          Apparently, he was on the TeeVee in olden times, like Beaver Cleaver and Howdy Doody…

          • Blank Ron

            Though without the talent or gravitas of either.

        • Cannedclamscanner

          i don’t think that dress would fit him.

      • PubOption

        “The truth is never in Trump’s speech.”

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      Hmmm — what are those things behind her?

      • BadKitty904

        Dish-towels? Wind-socks? Ummm…I’ll get it, I’ll get it, give me a minute…

  • Oblios_Cap

    http://www.politico.com/story/2014/03/paul-manafort-ukraine-104263
    interesting, even if it is over 2 years old.

  • Crystalclear12

    Democrats don’t need flags everywhere because we don’t use it like toilet paper.

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    Yet, he just green lighted the Rooskies to go hack away and commit cyber crimes. We cannot get rid of this anal wart fast enough.

    • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

      A couple of hundred gallons of this stuff might shrink the Drumpf problem away.

      • Nova

        Maybe all we need to do is throw salt on him and he withers and dies, like those slimy things do.
        We should try this!

        • SeekingBarbie

          or this

          • Cannedclamscanner

            Do we need to point out that those red things are votes? Either way we need more. Lots more.

  • Daisy

    Republicans also have no concept of “subtlety”.

    • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

      Or reality. Or class. Or humanity. Or honesty. Or decency. Or empathy. Or compassion. Or…but you get the idea.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …so says the guy who spent the entire RNC convention complaining about how much a steaming pile of pterodactyl shit America has become?!?!?!

  • BearGHAZI

    The derp, it’s fucking killing me

    • Daisy

      *smiles* And we still have four months of this particular brand of derp.

      • redarmyzombie

        There’s not enough booze in my closet.

      • Sardonicuss

        I’m going with this plan.

  • jmhm

    Hey, for someone who’s never heard of Putin, he knows an awful lot about how Putin feels about Clinton and Obama.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    Trump also said there was nobody talking about supporting the police.

    He either isn’t watching or he is too stupid to understand what he is hearing, or he thinks his followers are too stupid to understand.

    • Daisy

      AOT,K

      • AngryKatie

        That’s what I get for not scrolling all the way down before posting

    • Joshua Norton

      You do realize you don’t have to pick just one, right?

    • SeekingBarbie

      We girded ourselves with liquor and [virtual] nose-clothespins to watch the rnc shitshow so we know how awful and dismal it was. I wonder if any repubs are watching the dnc convention, and if so, seeing not only the better caliber of the party (not to mention the quality of the presentation), but that he is flat-out lying? Not that they’d admit it…..

      • DoILookAmused2u ?

        Judging by the tone of the online trolls, some at least were watching and compelled to throw a shitstorm of tantrums when they realized their shitshow looked like the amateur hour.

        • SeekingBarbie

          Good to hear–especially after drumpf bragged about how great it was going to be. They thought they’d get Broadway, but it was just Community Theater (not that there’s anything wrong with Community Theater, but Broadway it ain’t).

          • anwisok

            Community theater? Middle School play, more like.

    • TeeRaak

      What? Fox News gives a filtered view of reality?

      The Dickins you say

    • AngryKatie

      AOT, K

  • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

    Drumpf says he can deal with Putin “He will respect me,” Trump said.
    Newsflash Donnie – if he does, he’ll be the first.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Somehow I think Putin regards Trump as a “Useful Idiot”–however that is said in Russian…

      • Oblios_Cap

        полезный идиот

        The phrase ‘useful idiots’, supposedly Lenin’s, refers to Westerners duped into saying good things about bad regimes.

        • Astraea

          I love learning stuff on the Wonket

        • Blank Ron

          So, absolutely accurate, then.

        • PubOption

          I can’t read Cyrillic letters very well, but does that first word mean Polish?

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      Prove it; tell him to hand over the agents responsible to face trials in US courts.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      This is textbook KGB compromising an asset- won’t be long until Donnie is Putin’s bitch

    • beingreleased

      Is that a line from some Al Pacino movie? It feels like it should be.

      • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

        If I have committed plagiarism, it is unconscious plagiarism.

        • beingreleased

          I meant the “He will respect me” part. It sounds like something from The Godfather or Scarface. Trump will be making Putin “an offer he can’t refuse.”

          • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

            In Trump’s case, he is likely to not understand the offer.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Trump also hopes Putin will like him. Is he running for 8th grade class president?

      • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

        He isn’t nearly mature enough to run for 8th grade class president.

    • Logic of Color

      How long before we start seeing promo picts of Donny shirtless riding horses, fishing, doing karate

      • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

        Jesus Christ! *shudders* Never, I devoutly hope.

        • Longstreet63

          Don’t worry, it will be a clumsy photoshop.

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        Please no. Don’t want to even think of that orange drooping man-boobed flesh flopping along to the gallop of a horse.

      • AngryKatie

        I’d rather he try to one up Putin by trying to wrestle a bear.

        • Paganish

          Donald Trump could not out-wrestle a teddy bear :P

          • AngryKatie

            it would be so tragic if the bear won

      • Cannedclamscanner

        EEE-EEWWWWWW
        Brain bleach please.

    • SeekingBarbie

      Putin: Hahahahahah!

    • Noxious1

      Last year he said he’d met Pootie, this year he said he’s never met Pootie. Since Donald doesn’t lie…..time machine?

  • Mr. Blobfish

    To quote another presidential candidate, abortions for some, tiny American flags for others.

    • Objectifer

      A fetus in every pot!

      • Señor Skwerl King

        Fetus nuggets in every Chick-Fil-A

      • Hairstrike Alpha

        Don’t reveal my business model you bastard!
        Well, I coined the product name first anyway: Fetu-ccini Alfredo.

  • Zippy W Pinhead
    • SuspectedDemocrat

      He prefers something more subtle, like Cyrillic metadata.

  • Msgr_Moment

    “I mean I’ve got to take over this mess.”
    God, what a putz.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Both sides prominently display our flag, of course. It just happens to be invisible.”
    — The Illuminati

    • BadKitty904

      “We publicly display our emblems…on your currency.”

      ~ The Illuminati

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    You gotta love Trumpusaurus….after getting stung by Vladimir Putin’s lust to have him elected and openly asking for foreign cyber terrorism against Hillary he questions anyone else’s patriotism. The man has balls that are visible from space…

    • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

      Having a complete disregard for the truth and being willing to blurt out any fucking bullshit that pops into your head isn’t courageous. He has no filter, and can’t help himself. It’s just a form of Tourette’s Syndrome.

    • Candy Apple

      Ew. Brain bleach needed.

    • Longstreet63

      He already knows he will not suffer for it. Recall the “Middle of Fifth Avenue” comment. He can literally say any damn thing and get a pass.

      • Hairstrike Alpha

        From his supporters…not everyone else. The leaners are going to receive a crash course in Trump and if they still like him afterwards there is no hope.

        • Longstreet63

          In Trump’s mind, EVERYONE is one of his supporters…

          • Hairstrike Alpha

            That’s why it’s all our jobs to disabuse him of that hilarious notion…

          • Blank Ron

            Which is why, when he gets creamed, no, pureed in the general, he will immediately start screaming about ‘stolen elections’

          • Longstreet63

            MMMMMMM. I love the taste of Advance Schadenfreude.

  • Señor Skwerl King

    Where’s the gold fringe? How are we to signify the lizard people are in control without the gold fringe?

  • Msgr_Moment

    Donald Trump’s falsehood-laden press conference,
    annotated, from WashPost.

  • BadKitty904

    If his lips are moving, he’s lying…blahblahblah…

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Trump didn’t even have real flags behind him….much like his families love for him he can’t tell the difference between the real thing and a cheap projection.

    • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

      Hey, nothing cheap about his families projection. If it keeps ’em in the will it could be worth millions some day.

      • Blank Ron

        Or at least millions in debt.

        • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

          One can only hope.

  • Callyson

    They don’t even mention our police, they mention everybody but our police.

    Donald, you fucking moron, my hometown’s police chief spoke at the DNC yesterday, and there was a retired NYPD detective there as well. Plus, at least one of the Mothers of the Movement specifically mentioned that killing cops was not the way to promote criminal justice reform. And…

    …oh, why even bother?

  • John Iwaniszek

    fuck’em

  • Brian

    Trump definitely just goes out there and says these things just to get in the news. And now he basically hijacked an entire day of people talking about how great this convention is going. He doesn’t care if it’s negative press. The tv media just continually falls into this trap.

    • Oblios_Cap

      It’s not like he can afford to run TV ads.

      • AngryKatie

        I’m not sure how Trump thinks a day of discussing whether or not he’s committed treason is good.

        It is keeping people from talking about the speaker that accused him of profiting off of 9/11 at the expense of small businesses though, so… winning?

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      Yes, but any one of these whines for help should have ended his “political” career”* twice over.
      *reality show

      • Brian

        He actually said today that if he had said anything that was included in the DNC emails he’d probably be forced to drop out of the race. He has said so many things that are much worse than anything in the emails, no one would even notice these emails if they were his. He’s just delusional.

  • Msgr_Moment

    “I never met Putin, I don’t know who Putin is. He said one nice thing about me. He said I’m a genius. I said thank you very much to the newspaper and that was the end of it. I never met Putin.”

    Oh, I thought

    “I got to know him very well because we were both on 60 Minutes, we were stablemates. We did well that night.”

  • lucidamente

    Does he mean this flag?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Well, it is White Red and Blue.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Like the French (*shudder*) flag?

        • Longstreet63

          No, that one is Blue, White, and Red.

          I mean, honestly, how many flag colors are there? Subtle shades do poorly to recognize somebody you are maybe supposed to be shooting at. Which is pretty much what national flags are for. As ranges of engagement got longer, complicated flags got simpler.

          • Notreelyhelping

            I like that Jamaica’s is mostly green. It’s a soothing color….

  • JackLinks

    Donald Trump: “Only An Idiot Opposes The Confederate Flag”

    http://reportquickly.com/donald-trump-only-an-idiot-opposes-the-confederate-flag/

  • I wouldn’t even call it the love of a child for mommy. That’s actually sincere and beautiful in a way.

    It’s really more like a cynical priest using a cultic tribal deity as a means of controlling people.

    I don’t need to wrap myself in the American flag to prove I love America. I don’t need to say a damned and creepy loyalty oath to it every day to prove my patriotism. It’s a flag, not an idol. I’ll live and promote those principles that piece of cloth represents.

    Same reason I don’t need to carry a giant bible and wear a crucifix the size of a small toddler to try and show my love for God.

    Grow up, Orange Julius.

    • PubOption

      “When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross.” – Sinclair Lewis.

  • Candy Apple

    Oh, 2008’s lapel flag pin controversy, how I haven’t missed you.

    • AngryKatie

      Well they had to let that one go. Madeline Albright had an actual bedazzled bald eagle pinned to her dress last night, no one can ever top that.

      • Blank Ron

        No ‘Disrespecting our national symbol!’ screeds yet?

  • Marla

    I wondering if those flags at the RNC were manufactured in China possibly in the same factory that manufactures Trump’s gaudy suits.

  • Jgb979

    It’s pretty freaking amazing coming from a dude who just begged Russia to commit watergate to help him win an election.

    I miss the days when an akward scream could end someone’s political career

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      No shit. This has gotten pathetic and dangerous.

  • jmhm

    “David Hinckley should not have been released”

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Dem convention needs more giant T R U M P letters in that order, obviously.

  • HanBarbara

    Quoting a commenter from the NY Times”This guy is crazier than a rat in a coffee can”

  • Panika MCD

    no offense to the visually challenged, but it seems like many people in the GOP could use an eye exam.

  • BadKitty904

    I think Drumpf is Putin us on…

    • Astraea

      I know, reich?

      • Msgr_Moment

        At this point, he’s Stalin for time.

        • Marla

          Putin his money where his mouth is.

          • BadKitty904

            Putin his money where Trump’s mouth is.

          • Hairstrike Alpha

            He’s hoping this latest line of bullshit will be a Hitler…

        • Fartknocker

          Donald was very Amin to that obnoxious child dance troop.

        • Hairstrike Alpha

          Your puns have gone to Pol Pot on this one…

      • Sakonyachen

        I give him bad Marx for conning us.

    • therblig

      who will love a Vlad insane?

      • shastakoala

        How Zsar is he willing to go?

    • SnarkOff

      Pol Pot, meet Kettle.

    • Logic of Color

      Yep, did nazi that coming

  • Lefty Frizzell

    Whoever waves the most flags is either the most patriotic or the least patriotic – you decide.

    • Cindyinencinitas

      We don’t need a bloody flag, this is our country you bastard!

    • AngryKatie

      Pay no attention to our party platform, the actions of any of the people you’ll be hearing from, or any of the words coming out of their mouths. Just look at the flags. All. Those. Flags.

      USA! USA! USA!

    • If I saw a house with a half dozen flags flying out front, I’d wonder what they had buried in the back.

      • Blank Ron

        Oh, you’ve been through Michigan too, I see.

  • jmhm

    “Kasich has a habit of saying things that are a little shaky.”

    • Msgr_Moment

      Kettle McPot says what?

      • jmhm

        Putin used the n-word. He was shocked.

        • Notreelyhelping

          Nihilism?

          • jmhm

            I think he meant the sheriff word.

          • Notreelyhelping

            Actually, I assumed that too. But it could have been even worser. He could have said: nonprofit.

  • efoveks

    How come the right wing idea of patriotism is love of country but hate of all that is government?

    • Astraea

      The government is inept and can’t solve any of our problems. Elect me and let me prove it to you.

      • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

        They managed to convince the base of that so effectively that the silly bastards voted for Trump! Didn’t those idiots know that the Teabaggers had their fingers crossed when they said all that stuff?
        I love it when assholes run smack into the law of unintended consequences like a bug hitting a windshield…

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Love of country, but hate most of the people in it. Especially if they have more melanin than you do.

      • SeekingBarbie

        Similar to this:

    • Lefty Frizzell

      I’m sure it must be jesus, low taxes and deregulation, since that’s the right wing answer to any question.

      • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

        Dance with the one that brung you.

      • Daisy

        Guns, also,too.

      • SnarkOff

        Family Values libel!

    • TJ Barke

      Government can be used by poors and minorities to shield them from the abuse and malfeasance of private capital and organized bigotry.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Well, we can’t have THAT!

    • anna rampage

      Have you seen how inept the GOP is at governing?

      No wonder republicans think the govt is broken, their reps couldn’t legislate their way out of a paper bag…

      • Major_Major_Major

        a WET paper bag, even.

        • Marla

          With an American flag on it.

    • BadKitty904

      Because they’re not very bright?

    • Me The People

      Government tuk ur best toys, like slavery and guns!

  • jmhm

    We’re taking fighter jet parts from graveyards.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      Dr Frankenjet has gone mad!

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Listen, the Democrats don’t love America. They don’t mention cops. ISIS. Law and Order. Where is this talk about building a wall and deporting people? Sad. Very low energy. I don’t hear them talking about how awful this country is. They don’t have any strength. Love. The country is a very scary place. Terrifying. A lot of people are just bad people. Bad guys. Not good guys. Cops never do anything wrong- nonsense. America is fucked. Believe me. Democrats don’t love America- they keep talking about how good it is. Pathetic!

    • Blank Ron

      You’re getting lazy; that’s a direct quote from Drumpf’s speech last week.

  • TJ Barke

    Really comes back to that Al Franken bit about how 4 year olds love their mommies.

  • Spotts1701

    I swear, it’s like Zapp Brannigan running for office.

    “Kip, c’mere and hold up the flag. And wave it a little, for God’s sakes.”

    • beingreleased

      Trump’s velour uniform is pretty snazzy.

      • TJ Barke

        And he wants us all to know he’s getting some too “Kip? I have made it with a woman, inform the men.”

        • SuspectedDemocrat

          He’s willing to send wave after wave of men until ISIS reaches its pre-programmed kill limit.

          • TJ Barke

            “Just returned from his successful carpet bombing of Eden 7”

          • Oblios_Cap

            Zap Trump!

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Everything he says lately sounds to me like a man desperatelytrying to get out of going to a party he promised three months ago to attend.

    • Astraea

      Based on what I’ve been reading about him, I think he likes seeing how outrageous he can get and he genuinely loves the bad publicity as much as the good.

      Classic narcissistic behavior.

  • Blank Ron

    Y’know, America, it’s about time we had a chat about this flag fetish you have…

  • TeeRaak

    Flag Code – USFlag.org
    USFlag.org › uscode36
    (j) No part of the flag should ever be used as a costume or athletic uniform.
    http://i175.photobucket.com/albums/w143/vexillologist/menflaggy.jpg

    • Never before have I ever been less tempted to click on the SHOW MORE button on a photo…

    • Cannedclamscanner

      Go to a RWNJ picnic and eat from flag paper plates placed on flag table covers with flag cups and napkins. HOW in any way does it seem okay to eat off of the flag?!

  • Treg.Brown

    Still not enough for these people. It’s like being an alcoholic.

  • jmhm

    Obama is our “most ignorant president. His views of the world don’t, as he says, jive.”

    • SnarkOff

      “Excuse me, Miss, I speak Jibe.”

  • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

    As Samuel Johnson said: “Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.”

    • janecita

      Sorry:-( I just said the same thing, great minds and all that.

      • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

        It’s a wide open net, you have to take the shot :-)

  • anna rampage

    Yeah, I suppose to some people in this country, not discriminating against women, racial & ethnic minorities, and the LGBT community is somehow anti American, but please let be the first to remind these folks that they lost the civil war, and we won….

  • AngryKatie

    His body language and speaking style as he started that press conference made me uncomfortable. The only phrase I can think of is tightly coiled, but that’s not exactly it. I felt like rage was boiling just below the surface, but he knew he couldn’t release it.

    Once he got to the question part he relaxed, because of course he would, then the only topic of discussion was safely him again.

    • beingreleased

      I read most of the transcript, and it felt rushed and uncomfortable and it gave me a headache.

  • SnarkOff

    As a mommy, I would just like to say that everything Mommy does is wonderful and anyone who criticizes Mommy is bad. Also, Mommy says fuck the GOP and its fucking flag fetish.

    • beingreleased

      My four year old likes to say “I love you, mommy” at random times (and also when mommy is yelling at him). To me he says: “I like you daddy.” When my wife asked why he loves her and only likes me, he said “I love the girls. I like the boys.”

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      My question: is Mommy a MILF? If so then yes, If not then make me a sammich and shut up while the men-folk are speaking!
      – Donald J. Trumplewurst.

    • Longstreet63

      Sorry, Mom…

      • SnarkOff

        It’s OK, honey.

        • Longstreet63

          ok.
          Is there any cake left?

          The Orange Man said the cake was a lie.

          He did offer to let me see the puppies he had in his unmarked white van, though.

  • jmhm

    “Her number one person is Huma Abedin who is married to Anthony Weiner, who is a sleazeball and a pervert” so Hillary shouldn’t get security briefings.

    • Longstreet63

      While Donald’s Number one person works for Donald Trump, who is himself a sleazeball and a pervert…

      • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

        Who lusts after his own daughter to the point of feeling her up on national television.

        • Notreelyhelping

          Let me touch your flag, my darling….

        • CPav

          Hey, the only thing Trump and I agree on is we’d both date Ivanka if she wasn’t his daughter.

          • revenant

            she’s not bad looking, but age and experience tell me that a little moral fiber and some self-knowledge make for a better time had by all

    • Daisy

      In which I would like to respond: “Pot, here is kettle. I’m sure you’ll have a delightful time together. Or not, daughter-fucking dickhead.”

    • Vincent Ricola

      Says the guy with a campaign being run by Paul mудак Manafort.

  • BadKitty904

    None Dare Call It T(rump)reason…

  • The Democrats pretty much did this to themselves by having a convention-speaker lineup that’s more entertaining to watch than a limp flag.

    • jmhm

      It’s hard to believe that he doesn’t think he’s going to cause a big enough dumpster fire with a reddit AMA.

      • Not to worry, its in Russian, so none of the monoglots will be able to understand their master plan!

    • SeekingBarbie

      Substance over [poor] style.

  • weejee

    tRump will be complaining the D’Rats had too many flags less the elle in 3, 2, 1…

  • janecita

    Oh my fucking God! Are we going to call French fries, Freedom fries again? This faux patriotism is just ridiculous.
    “Patriotism is the last refuge of the Scoundrel.”
    Samuel Johnson

    • They’re patriotic only as far as you can see them. In the back door they are selling secrets to the Ruskies.

    • Msgr_Moment

      So when a Rethug says he wants Freedom, what he’s really asking for is….?

      • janecita

        Greasy, extra large fries.

        • Msgr_Moment

          Sorry, I was thinking a beej.

          • janecita

            While they eat their fries?

          • Msgr_Moment

            Or anything deep-fried, I bet.

      • shastakoala

        A Jack n’ the Box taco or eggroll.

      • revenant

        easy. he wants his freedom, and yours and yours and yours also too- for himself, not for you, because he thinks he can own it all and stockpile it; and gloat over all those people he has stolen freedom from

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Hey….when is there going to be a Hannity post? Lumpy seems to have come off his moorings with this DNC- he’s going to Jeffrey Lord and Scottie Nell Hughes levels of hilarity trying to make it seem like Drumpf’s convention was superior to the DNC. It’s a marvel to behold and Wonkette needs to snark it.

  • BadKitty904

    “Lack of flags”? Srsly? That’s the best lie the GOP can come up with?

    • But but but there were palastinian flags there….

  • anwisok

    Patriot
    [pey-tree-uh t, -ot or, esp. British, pa-tree-uh t]
    noun
    1.
    a person who loves, supports, and defends his or her country and its interests with devotion.

    Can’t possibly defend the country’s interests when he has no understanding of what those interests are.

  • limberrat

    Says the guy who called on a foreign government to spy on an opposing presidential candidate!

    • Msgr_Moment

      To DISCLOSE the allegedly classified emails of a Secretary of State!

    • I Only Like Cats

      It’s a good thing she actually has security for her server.

  • BigCSouthside

    This flag shit bugs me. We know what fuckin country we are in

    • BadKitty904

      Following this incredibly inane line of “logic,” flag stores must, therefore, be the most “patriotic” spots in the country. Certainly more so than, say, Independence Hall, Valley Forge, etc.

      • efoveks

        Perfectly good real estate, languishing, just going to waste. Life is simple when you have no appreciation for history.

      • beavertank

        I don’t know ’bout you, but I ain’t never seen no Valley Forge on no flag tracksuit. Don’t sound none too patriotic to me.

    • crunchyknee

      I know. Turned on the DNC the other night and couldn’t even tell what country they were talking about.

  • Ms.MLG1979

    It’s not the size of the flag, it’s the motion of the flagpole.

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      You’ve been reading Josh Duggar’s Ashley Madison profile, haven’t you?

      • BadKitty904

        Ew.

      • therblig

        it’s a touching read

      • PubOption

        You can feel good about it.

    • Msgr_Moment

      I’m in mourning for America. Mine’s at half-mast.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      It never occurred to me until just now that it’s being used as a phallic substitute just like the gun. Everybody – I’ve got a big flag! Look at my big flag! I can haz some ladeez?

      • Ms.MLG1979

        It’s all about size with him. And winning. He’s a walking caricature of poison American machismo.

      • Iam Reading

        JR Simplot must have had the smallest dick in the world, based on the size of his flag.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      My flag is a grower, not a shower.

    • shaar dula

      too much embolism about symbolism

  • Jenny

    Ot but Limbaugh is shitting his pants about how good (not great, not epic Big Dawg he says) the speech about Hillz last night was. That he encourages his listeners to explain to their millenial kids how terrible she really is otherwise they’re gonna lose to this made up Clinton from the convention. Then he man splains for a while about feminism and how she is the worst feminist ever. It’s the most ridiculous thing I ever heard. I can’t even be mad about it because he contradicts his own sentences from three seconds ago.

    • Señor Skwerl King

      Jenny, who made you listen to Rush? Don’t be afraid. You are among friends. Tell us who did this to you?

      • Iam Reading

        She is doing recon. Thank her for her service to our cause!

        • efoveks

          That’s going all the way, taking one for the team. I admire her courage. My ears, I think, would have melted in the attempt.

      • Jenny

        Ha. You know I live in Texas right? Talking points starts with Limbaugh. Also did you know that Ron Paul is hawking a food dryer/preserver? HILARIOUS!

        Now they’re using Maddow’s criticism last night as proof Hitlery is the worst feminist eeeever!!

      • handyhippie65

        i used to have to listen to him every day at work. the boss really likes him.

        • revenant

          OMG
          thought i had it bad having WMZQ (The Heart Of Country Radio) blaring all ten or twelve hours a day, back when (the sound of George Jones’ voice can still give me headache and nausea, over 30 years later)

          • handyhippie65

            since 2006. except the last two years. it was amazing the differences in the way he spoke of the presidency during bush, and obama. shrub had the power to do whatever he wanted, bams had no power, and should be defeated at all costs. not to mention constantly blaming him for dubya’s crash.

  • efoveks

    Trump, being such the patriot that he is, has now called on Russia to find Clinton’s missing emails, but how many flags fly at the DNC makes Dems less patriotic. Priorities, sheeple!

    http://www.cnn.com/2016/07/27/politics/donald-trump-vladimir-putin-hack-hillary-clinton/index.html

  • Astraea

    This is the kind of moron we’re up against:

    Russian Agent Liz ‏@MissLizzyNJ 17m17 minutes ago
    MSM Logic
    Asking Russia to release classified emails is unethical.
    Deleting 30,000 classified emails & compromising national security isn’t.

  • nightmoth

    That music video the Democrats did that pulls away at the end to show a giant flag made up of beautifully diverse Americans made me want to stand up and salute and sing the Star Bangled Banner. THAT’S the flag for me!

    • WomanInAMood

      I loved that!

  • Ms.MLG1979

    You can call yourself a patriot all day long, but when you despise the diverse people who ARE America, you’re full of shit.

  • Daisy

    Honestly though, I find the flag worship a little creepy.

    • Señor Skwerl King

      My dad always said, “I fought in WWII for America, not for some piece of cloth.”

    • efoveks

      You know, there’s a commandment about that…

      • Daisy

        The one about not worshiping idols, right? Haven’t been to church since my 5th birthday, so I’m a bit rusty.

        • efoveks

          Yep, that’s the one. The way it was explained to me was that it referred to any instance where people fixate on the thing and ignore the real meaning.

    • Markuserektus

      Anti-fascist…

    • Iam Reading

      I remember in the 70s that you could get your ass thumped by RWNJs for wearing flag themed garments. Now jerkoffs show up to the RNC all decked out in flags. IOKIYAR

      • Daisy

        Wow. That’s one hell of a contrast from today’s times.

      • revenant

        then, it was ironic.
        now, it’s just clueless

      • Relativicus

        I think of that all the time. But I’ll probably have less time to think of that while my brain contemplates the virtual silence from The Right regarding Trump’s relationship with Putin, and the Russian involvement in the DNC hack.

        • handyhippie65

          meh. the ruskies ain’t commie no more, and besides, it were only them damned commie democrats, right? they be the debbil, so it’s all good.

      • PubOption

        They are fine, upstanding citizens, not dirty hippies.

      • nightmoth

        What hath Abbie Hoffman wrought? (was jailed for turning a flag into a shirt)

    • crisptickle

      >What’s next, loyalty oaths?

      Is that like a pledge of allegiance?

  • nightmoth

    I bet all those flags the GOP was flying at their clusterfuck were made in China.

    • Señor Skwerl King

      Of course.

    • BadKitty904

      I’ll also bet they’re not paid for.

      • nightmoth

        The Trump method of settling debt?

        • BadKitty904

          If they’re stupid enough to do business with ME, they don’t deserve to get paid.

        • Catstro

          One weird trick

          • Ghenghis McCann

            As a hooker once said.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    I wonder if the Trumpeling of Dignity is aware that smart ass liberals are going to label check his flags from now on….probably not.

  • Iam Reading

    Worship of the flag is idolatry, which is one of the 10 big no-nos, right?

    • JMP

      Well half of one of the 10 big no-nos; it’s “thou shall not have any other gods before me, or worship any graven images”.

    • therblig

      heathen commie!

    • handyhippie65

      not ‘cording to ‘murican jeebus it ain’t.

    • SeekingBarbie

      They can always find a reason for an exception.

      • revenant

        while logic eludes them, rationalization is the Right’s speciality

  • timpundit

    The man is losing his mind right here in public before us all.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      You call it losing his mind, he calls it appealing to his base.

      • revenant

        whose minds, such as they were, are like Clementine, lost and gone forever

    • Tony Alexander

      can’t lose what you never had!

    • Jennifer R

      I think he is starting to realize treason wasn’t the best game plan.

  • anna rampage

    “We still stand behind Trump! Look he’s just inexperienced at this, I
    know he’s come out as an inept, racist, homophobic, megalomaniac sexist womanizer,
    who’s declared policies would send this country back to the dark ages,
    but he’s a republican, and he’s our republican, so we must stand behind
    him. We must do everything in our power to deny Hillary the keys to the
    White House, even if it means torching this country to the ground”
    signed by Paul Ryan and the rest of the GOP leadership

    • efoveks

      Also too, being President of the most powerful country on the planet is not only appropriate, but exactly the way to train someone in the art of diplomacy and public service. What could possibly go wrong?

      • anna rampage

        Flash back to 2012… This is the mentality of the GOP

        “All we have to do is replace Obama. … We are not auditioning for
        fearless leader. We don’t need a president to tell us in what direction
        to go. We know what direction to go. We want the Ryan budget. … We
        just need a president to sign this stuff. We don’t need someone to think
        it up or design it. The leadership now for the modern conservative
        movement for the next 20 years will be coming out of the House and the
        Senate. […]

        Pick a Republican with enough working digits to handle a pen to
        become president of the United States. This is a change for Republicans:
        the House and Senate doing the work with the president signing bills.
        His job is to be captain of the team, to sign the legislation that has
        already been prepared.” Grover Norquist

        • revenant

          they found out that having a brainless, pliant figurehead (Reagan, Shrub) worked just fine for them. Disaster for the nation at large, mind, but dandy for the campaign donors and the party leadership

        • PubOption

          I’ll take draft bills for a few thousand in campaign expenses, ALEC.

          • Cannedclamscanner

            ISWYDT

        • SeekingBarbie

          OMG, that’s just….bizarre? nihilistic? draconian? Help me, here.

          • revenant

            “insane” works

        • Ghenghis McCann

          “Pick a Republican with enough working digits to handle a pen to
          become president of the United States. This is a change for Republicans:”
          I think they missed some letters, it should read “challenge”.

        • efoveks

          Grover Norquist is one useless fuck weasel who could never get himself elected to anything outside of private interest. His passive aggressive attempts to usurp real power are both profoundly insulting and equally disturbing: the kind of guy who makes a soul-less lobbyist look good.

          Not that I have a strong opinion…. ?

      • Dudleydidwrong

        Train Trump? Ha! Assumes they think he’s a puppy who needs the right learnin’ and he’ll do it right. Trump’s a fucking mad dog, well beyond training time, who shits where he pleases, barks when he wants, and bites whatever hand has given him food he doesn’t like. No training is possible.

        • efoveks

          Aha! THAT’s why he keeps peeing on the carpet!

      • handyhippie65

        thought the chigago cow, who just kicked over a kerosene lantern, right before she was BBQ.

        • efoveks

          That is awesome!

    • Crystalclear12

      And drink.

      • anna rampage

        Well duh, it is just about noon after all!

  • beavertank

    …I wonder what the Trump Organization charged the Trump Campaign for the use of that golf club.

    And the grift goes on.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Well, there’s another blatant, stupid, clumsy lie that will resonate in the Republican echo chamber forever. No wonder they’ve all gone nuts.

    • Tony Alexander

      told a winger in queens once —he was ragging about ‘obama phones’ — that it was actually a reagan phone, and explained the whole history behind it.

      guy lost it on me. you’d had though i had just raped his mother.

      he flat refused to believe it, even when presented with proof.

      • revenant

        good on you
        none of us like to be proved wrong; imagine what it must be like to be a person whose whole worldview is based on bullshit, out right lies, and misapprehensions, so you are constantly being confronted with clear evidence that you are totally full of shit and wrong, wrong, wrong

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    I have an excellent suggestion for an official theme song and video for Donald’s campaign to Trumple truth, justice and the American way: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ilm4VvIe9q0

    • handyhippie65

      yes. this exactly.

  • Relativicus

    “But let’s wave those flags anyway, if only to remind Republicans how wrong they are about how much liberals love our country. And to remind them we own that flag too, even if we don’t mistake it for an object of unquestioning worship.”

    Dok, doesn’t reminding Republicans of those things suggest they once knew those things?

  • Recipriversexclusons

    I watched the unhinged, bloviating of this cocksplatted gobshite and I have to wonder if he is going to make it to November.

    • BadKitty904

      Our job is to make sure – legally and non-violently – that he doesn’t.

  • beavertank

    Those flags for Big Dawg’s speech are gold fringed, the DNC is clearly a front for admiralty courts trying to take away our sovereign citizenship at the direction of the Bavarian Illuminati.

    • blondeiq

      It was nice of those Bohemian Grove folks to lend ’em, don’t you think? Those are the guys who run around naked with owls, right?

  • I Only Like Cats

    Donald Trump has already brought us the two minute hate. Now we just need Room 101.

    • PubOption

      “And I’m so great, it didn’t even take two minutes.”

      • epazote

        >>”And I’m so great, it didn’t even take two minutes”
        I suspect that’s what he tells every woman who’s ever had sex with him

        *I just threw up in my mouth,bigly

        • blondeiq

          If we don’t get some hedgehogs ‘n llamas right quick, I’m going to write a strongly worded letter. To someone. Who, IDK…

    • sadboy

      I think that’s a suite at the Trump Taj Mahal.

  • Tio_Doidinho

    Images are IMPORTANT, y’all.

    • Tony Alexander

      specially to wingers!

      • revenant

        you need pictures to get to the functionally illiterate
        or yelling
        the Drumpf crew is well supplied with both

        • Tony Alexander

          yep!

          winger = bumper sticker mentality

    • Joe Beese

      eww… tongue!

    • BadKitty904

      DEF a worse love story than Twilight

  • jodyleek

    Nothing says “patriotism” like a stage emblazoned with your name (not America, not USA) in twenty foot letters.

    • anna rampage

      Nothing say patriotism and make America great again than by having your own clothing line made in a 3rd world country…

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    Earlier Trump responded to NBC reporter by saying he doesn’t know Putin, he has never even spoken to him.

    And then later he said this about Putin talking about Obama:

    “Putin has said things over the last year that are really bad things,”
    Trump said at a press conference in Florida. “He mentioned the N-word
    one time. I was shocked to hear him mention the N-word.”

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Shocked?

  • Callyson

    What new “oh, for fuck’s sake” moment do you have for us now, NYT linky?

    Donald Trump Calls on Russia to Find Hillary Clinton’s Missing Emails

    Donald J. Trump said Wednesday that he hoped Russia had hacked Hillary Clinton’s email, essentially encouraging an adversarial foreign power’s cyberspying on a secretary of state’s correspondence.

    “Russia, if you’re listening, I hope you’re able to find the 30,000 emails that are missing,” Mr. Trump said, staring directly into the cameras during a press conference. “I think you will probably be rewarded mightily by our press.”

    Mr. Trump’s call was an extraordinary moment at a time when Russia is being accused of meddling in the U.S. presidential election.

    tl;dr: FFS

    • Lefty Frizzell

      Maybe they’re stashed away somewhere with Donald’s and Mitt’s tax returns.

    • greyXstar

      He was right after all, the system is rigged. Because if any of us had said anything like this we’d already be in a federal interrogation room.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      And explain to me again in very short words, why the fuck that isn’t treason?

      • revenant

        just not in the statutory sense, because we are not at war with Russia. morally, no question at all

  • Lefty Frizzell

    I thought these pandering fucks always describe themselves as christian first, conservatives second, republicans third and Americans fourth or something like that?

    Also they always say bible first, constitution second.

    I don’t know if they really have any idea what “patriotic” is – they just seem to wave a flag and hope.

    • nightmoth

      Wait, pandering fucks can count?

      • revenant

        “Only up to ten, Mudhead”

        • TJ Barke

          Twenty if they can see their toes.

          • marxalot

            Twenty-two, in that case.

  • greyXstar

    Because if anyone knows about patriotism, it’s the guy who just actively encouraged foreign cyber espionage on our government to help him get elected.

  • Ezio

    I wish the right would stop talking about patriotism and actually show it by trying to be decent human beings.

  • bseifried

    One has to wonder if Dok keeps a soothing box of puppies nearby as he writes these sane, measured commentaries on the train wreck that is the trump campaign. I would have rage-stroked months ago.

    All hail our benevolent overlord!

  • Kelly Hamilton

    Ideally, the American flag design is not supposed to be used as clothing or hats, but Republican have turned that into a grotesque art form. Years ago, Abbie Hoffman and Jerry Rubin were arrested for wearing American flag shirts. How far we have come!

  • parkii

    Between this and the “taco bowl engagement” I’m already so over the GE bullshit and it’s barely even started. Throw in the bitter nursery school BoB’s, and I’m double done. I have taken back everything I’ve said about the value of not having one’s facebook bubble be an echo chamber and have been unfriending and unfollowing with reckless abandon, and it feels great. It’s been an amazing week and I’m not going to let anyone take that feeling away from me.

  • whitroth

    1: the GOP and Trump flags… um, where were they manufactured? It wasn’t, like, China, like those flag pins 15 years ago?
    2. “Patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel” – Samuel Johnson

    • Recipriversexclusons

      Up voted for the Samuel Jackson quote!

      • Master Contrail Program

        “I want these monkey-fightin’ flags onto this Monday-to-Friday stage!”

        Oops. Wrong Samuel Jackson.

  • Astraea

    First candidate to pivot from nationalism to treason in 0.6 seconds?

    • Rufus T. Firefly

      Nixon is jealous.

  • revenant

    Ambrose Bierce, from “The Devil’s Dictionary”-
    “Patriotism, n. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name. In Dr. Johnson’s famous dictionary patriotism is defined as the last resort of a scoundrel. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer I beg to submit it is the first.”

  • whitroth

    Hey, fresh WaPo article, saying that Il Douche is hoping the Russians do hack Hillary’s email.

    Responsibly draw 2nd Amenedment gun. Put both hands on it. Take careful aim at foot. Fire….

    • Jukesgrrl

      Always an upfist for Il Douche.

  • Politics_Nerd

    Have YOU hammered Trump on his secret taxes today? It’s a good day to do it!

  • Nova

    Dear Trump and people like him,
    The majority of this country would like to enlighten you.
    We do not care about what other people look like, fuck or pray to. If you’re an asshole, then we think you’re an asshole regardless of what you look like, fuck or pray to.
    Either get on board or shut up and become as irrelevant as you are.
    Thank you in advance,
    Majority AMERICANS.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Next he’ll call Hillary a card-carrying member of the ACLU.

    • Duke

      I’m a card-carrying member of the ACLU and I personally own two full-sized American Flags.

      Where’s a splodey head when ya need one?

  • revenant

    Donald Trump wishes Democrats would maybe use some patriotic imagery.
    Democrats wish Donald Trump was a fictional character, a super villain in a lame super hero comic that nobody had to read, instead of a threat to our nation and the whole frigging world.
    hard cheese indeed

  • beatbort

    None dare call it treason?
    Colluding with a hostile foreign power to undermine the American democratic process.
    How is this NOT the definition of high treason?

    • Duke

      Because it’s Donald Trump using word vomit to get attention?

    • doktorzoom

      Simple: We’re not at war with Russia, and Trump has done nothing material to assist an enemy or harm the security of the USA. He’s certainly been nice to a despot and hurt out reputation, but treason is a very specific crime, and I hate seeing our side misuse the term as badly as wingnuts often do.

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        Sorry Dok, actively seeking foreign contributions for or foreign influences on an American Election IS treasonous.
        It really is. Very much against the law and bad and treason. Straight up.

        • subatomic

          It is repugnant and against the interests of our democracy, but it does not fit within the wording of the treason code.

          • “Treason against the United States, shall consist only in levying war
            against them, or in adhering to their enemies, giving them aid and
            comfort.” – some old guys in wigs, Art 3 Sec 3.

        • doktorzoom

          Nope, it’s probably illegal as fuck, but not treason.

          • Amalga

            It borders on criminal, however, IMHO.

    • rsheat

      Treason is in the white house. Satire you seem to not understand. Read something besides msm leftist web sites.

  • Bemused

    So at this point I think it might be irresponsible not to speculate (maybe even actually irresponsible not to speculate) on Donald Trumps connections to former members of the Soviet regime and members of Russian organized crime. As well as his lack of current understanding as to a Presdident’s responsibility in advocating for US national security.

  • feministing

    After last week and now this week, not sure how any Republican can claim being the Party of Patriotism anymore with a straight face.

    • JerryRich

      I keep saying to myself “how much worse can it get?”. Then I wait a few minutes and find out.

      • jmk

        No matter how bad it is, you always find that hell has a basement.

  • CripesAmighty

    Was wondering what the fuck he was babbling on about in that whirling rhetorical garbage disposal billed as a ‘presser’. Thanks, Dok for rooting through the muck to find out, for those of us who just don’t have the patience.

    • JerryRich

      Senator Ron Johnson (R-WI) and Representative Louis Gohmert (R-TX) are widely considered to be the stupidest members of Congress. Trump is trying to prove he has the presidential title all to himself.

      • CripesAmighty

        Three-way!

  • NellCote71

    No. 1 in the list of 14 characteristics of Facism:

    1. Powerful and Continuing Nationalism – Fascist regimes tend to make constant use of patriotic mottos, slogans, symbols, songs, and other paraphernalia. Flags are seen everywhere, as are flag symbols on clothing and in public displays.

    • Parchment Scroll

      Thanks for that link. I wasn’t yet sufficiently pants-shittingly terrified of the GOP.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      I hope they realize by doing what they do to the flag- wearing it specifically- they are violating Flag Code and in effect showing even MORE disrespect than those who burn it, since burning is an acceptable way to put a flag to rest?

    • Tosca

      I’ve thought this for a while.

  • Obama STILL wears a flag pin everywhere he goes becasue of buillshit like this. I hate them.

    • rsheat

      Obama is a liar and traitor.

  • Rufus T. Firefly

    I’m starting to think that this Trump fella ain’t quite right in the head.

    Firefly 2016! Re-engreaten Freedonia!

  • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

    Growing up, I lived in a very white bread, John Birch-y, smugly Protestant kind of a town, surrounded by neighbors who worried about fluoridated water, the communist conspiracy, socialized medicine, intermarriage, and whatever other outrages their earnest perusals of the Readers’ Digest brought to the fore.

    There were a lot of flags flapping about even then, although flagginess hadn’t become quite the crazy damn issue it would become in the 1980s, when the flag lapel pin became the accessorized equivalent of a loyalty oath.

    My father, a cranky old FDR liberal with socialist tendencies, used to get into it with them: and every Fourth of July, as our Republican neighbors rolled out their flags with joyless zeal, my father made sure to roll out the biggest one in the block. At some risk to life and limb, he would clamber out the third story window in order to hang an immense banner from a makeshift flagpole he had installed. “It’s not their flag!” he would roar indignantly. “It’s too good for them! It’s ours! We’re taking it back!”

    So nuts. But kind of sweet. And maybe we should take it back.

    • Cannedclamscanner

      Oh, very sweet. You are so lucky.

    • Jukesgrrl

      I fly a flag on every government holiday for the same reason as your wonderful dad. I’ll be goddamned if I will let my conservative neighbors co-opt the flag of our country as “their” symbol. That said, I do not deck myself out in the flag or do other things with it that are not part of the flag code. Personally, I think things like flag bandanas like the one worn at the GOP convention by the Duck Dynasty douche are kinda disrespectful. Do it if you want to, but I’m not going to.

    • rsheat

      Got that hate whitey thing going, huh?

  • Parchment Scroll

    Speaking of people who just don’t understand the way the left does things…

    http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2016/07/26/3802094/dnc-all-gender-restroom/

    • The only thing that gives me pause in that is wondering why they didn’t have a space set up for pumping and breastfeeding. Seems like something they should have, yes?

      • Parchment Scroll

        They had TWO

        • Oh, good. I didn’t think that would have been an oversight!

          • Parchment Scroll

            Nope, but it didn’t stop one woman from complaining that she didn’t feel safe pumping in the mixed-gender bathroom. Of course, given her workplace (Faux News) I can see why she thought the bathroom was the only place she could do that.

  • RobKanC

    Maybe Mr. Trum-Putin-ette is confusing Russian flag with the American one.

  • Parchment Scroll

    At times like this, I simply remind myself that, according to these people, I’m not even a “real” American, and then I get even more upset.

    I don’t know why I do this to myself.

  • sadboy

    Some of us take the Flag Code seriously, Donald, and we do not use it for advertising purposes, nor do we wrap ourselves in it while insulting the President of the United States and praising foreign despots bent on sabotage of our great Republic.

    Props to Dok for the Star Trek reference.

  • Courser

    Seriously? He’s bitching about the set dressing? Probably because he’s got nothing of substance to argue with. Just… this. This shit shouldn’t even be reported but it’s Trump, so…

    • ViveLaRes

      Seriously. I’m really starting to loathe the MSM.

      • rsheat

        Why? They own these leftist web sites.

    • He only complained because everything wasn’t dressed up in dollar-store bling.

    • Jukesgrrl

      I guess he was in bed by the time Meryl Streep came out in her flag dress.

    • malsperanza

      This is not a presidential campaign. This is a long episode of “Trumplandia: The Reality Show.” Of course he will judge the two parties on how well they decorate. They’re parties, aren’t they?

    • glennisw

      This is the same party that bitched about Obama’s 2008 set having doric columns as being too messianic. So now they have a freaking gold-plated set, 50 flags and a giant LED screen saying TRUMP!.

  • ViveLaRes

    True story: Some time ago, after one of the terrorist attacks abroad, the rednecks here were giving the local Islamic Center a hard time. People from the Libtard cults (Episcopalians, Science of Mind, etc.) and some other nice folks formed a gentle counter-protest, standing between the rednecks and the worshippers entering the Islamic center to pray.

    One pastor (my neighbor) got to talking to the rednecks and asked what – exactly – was their beef with the Muslims (which here in St Augustine is a very small, very quiet community because they are not idiots). The redneck had to think for a minute (possibly while the voices in his head argued with each other) and finally said, “They don’t fly a Murkan flag.”

    The pastor goes to the imam and relays this. The imam says they would be proud to fly an American flag. They have not done so in the past only because they worried it would be misinterpreted as some kind of in-your-face statement (because not idiots).
    Pastor goes back to rednecks, says Muslims will fly an American flag forevermore, and everyone goes the fuck home.

    The moral of this story: when you have abso-fucking-lutely nothing to be butthurt about, fall on the flag.

    • phoenix00

      Translation: “we got nuthin'”

    • Brendan_M

      Was there gold fringe on that flag? Doesn’t count!

      • OldMayfly

        When my daughter was very young we attended a meeting where a US flag was displayed. She was adopted from another country and asked me about the flag. I explained that each star represented a state, and that red symbolized courage, white symbolized purity, and blue represented loyalty. This particular flag was outlined/trimmed with gold fringe. I added that the gold fringe represented the Lunatic Fringe.

        • rsheat

          Hate that flag, huh?

  • Jukesgrrl

    My local Democratic Club starts every meeting with the Pledge of Allegiance. When’s the last time Don the Con recited it? Asking a foreign government to interfere with our election indicates to me he doesn’t know what allegiance to his country means.

    • glennisw

      He knows it about as well as he knows Two Corinthians.

    • rsheat

      You eat a lot of liberal rubbish.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    BUT WHERE ARE YOUR FLAG PINS, LIBRULS? EH? EH?

  • Scooby

    The only patriotic images I know of have the words TRUMP emblazoned upon them.

  • Robyn Ryan

    Jingoism at its finest

  • phoenix00

    My house is the only house on my block flying a Canadian flag. Does that make me a Trump voter?

    • ViveLaRes

      No, but if you have connections in Canada, it might mean the Wonketariat will show up at your house if things don’t go well in November.

      • jmk

        ALL of us.

      • Pickwicknext

        I have already offered to marry TJ. He does not seem impressed with mid sized city living

      • hendenburg2

        yeah same here. Not to say that I won’t try out that dating site for americans looking to marry into Canada in case of Trump. I assume Phoenix00 only has limited couch space

        • phoenix00

          ….. /scurries over to said dating site while preparing couch

      • phoenix00

        Will prepare fallout bunker in advance.

    • Suttree

      Nope, but yours is the first door that I am going to knock on when I’m staggering drunk and have run out of Molson and caribou jerky.

    • Delu

      No.

      Because it’s not a Southern Rebel flag.

      • phoenix00

        Phew! Thought there could be some kind of manifest destiny manifesto symbolic business.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    “Reality? We don’t need no steenking reality!”
    -typical trumpanzee

  • Jason Freeman

    The best part is that Trump likes to call the Dems communists, etc. However, what these bums fail to realize is that outsourcing your products to Communist countries like China is FUCKING DIRECTLY assisting in the growth and development of communism. Your argument holds no water. Fuck yourselves Trumpkins.

  • Suttree

    I would like to take this moment to remind everyone of the tiny flags that 75% of Americans felt that it was their duty to clip onto their car windows back in 2001. I lived in Portland, ME pop. 64,000 and there was somehow enough demand for seven different parking lots to have a hobo van and a table to hawk this crap. What the fuck was that supposed to prove?

    • Lizzietish81

      PATRIOTISM!

    • OldMayfly

      I think it was Unity–unfortunately the Bush admin blew their response. (I flew a flag myself–although I had vowed never to fly the flag again while W. occupied the office the GOP stole.)

  • OrdinaryJoe

    KGB Trump slinging patriotism at the Dems. What a hoot. PT Barnum is blushing.

  • thenearesthippie

    Republicans idolize the flag. Americans honor the constitution.

    • rsheat

      That is one hysterical comment. The Demoncrats spend their energy to destroy the constitution.

      • Delu

        And Trumpians and Trump spend time doing shit like what this little shit does.

  • Whatever, Republicans. You assholes spent four days telling us that America was a weak, divided, dangerous, dystopian hellscape. At our convention, the messages have been about diversity, coming together, strength, and progress. I completely reject the idea that it’s the pessimistic whiners telling us how awful we are who are the patriotic ones.

    • glennisw

      Yeah, ain’t it funny that they still hold a grudge for MIchelle Obama’s 2008 remarks that they misinterpreted as her not being proud of her country, yet their candidate is saying from the podium that American is weak, stupid, dysfunctional and awful?

      • rsheat

        Michelle Obama was not proud of her country, she hates it.

    • rsheat

      Ah, the call of the delusional snowflake.

  • Bad Granny

    Granny the Libtart has an American flag displayed in her home as we speak. One of her liberal kids sent it to her from Undisclosed Location Afghanistan the first time he went to make war. I sure do wish my liberal spawn were service oriented like those nice Trump kids.

  • winnyfranfran

    I hate this treasonous shithead with the heat of a thousand suns.

    • miss_grundy

      Only a thousand? Try harder, pal!

    • rsheat

      A lot of people feel that way about the traitor in the white house.

      • Delu

        We need a banhammer here stat!

        And no need to worry, shit like this isn’t interesting enough for Deleted Comments of the Week.

  • Kooolest G

    hey donald, you know what real patriots do? pay their fucking taxes asshole

    • Stulexington

      And their contractors.

      • OldMayfly

        Why? Those peasants don’t have the $$$ to sue. Stiff ’em!

  • glennisw

    What fucking asshole. Where’s his flag pin?

  • Delu

    Yup it’s always the lowest common denominator with these guys. In the last convention it was “DNC doesn’t mention God enough.” As if God were the ruler of America and mentioning him somehow matters. Today it’s a “false flag” claim about no flags = not patriotic.

    I mean there are pictures of some middle eastern people who displayed the American flag too. Does that make them patriotic Americans? How about those other pictures that show them burning the same flag seconds later? Are they still patriotic Americans because of the first picture?

    It’s always the same inane and lowbrow attacks coming from these guys about the silliest and least important things. So what even if NO flags were displayed? Does that make them unpatriotic?

    Apparently to the actual customers of those who peddle such stories it does, because there”s nothing like these hateful little jabs that gets them all excited and feeds their hatred, no matter if it’s true or false or stupid.

    And as in Economics 101, demand begets supply. As long as the haters need and want their inane fixes, there are those out there who will keep providing them with it and profit from it all.

    And where does that leave America? Well ironically these same fools and haters who claim they want America to be great again are the reason why America will NEVER be great, NEVER do better. How can America do better and focus on the real problems when there are these guys pushing the most inane shit around, wailing about it, and taking up everyone’s and the press’s time with such things?

    Make America great…..by getting rid of the stuff that keeps it from being great.

  • Uzza

    At the same time they’re claiming there were no flags, they’re posting pictures of commy libs flying soviet flags. Does anyone know what that’s about?

    • Thaumaturgist

      Truth be told, known librul website Wonkette has all kinds of Commie propaganda posters on it.

      • OldMayfly

        “Soviet Realism” we Reds call it.

    • OldMayfly

      It is about illogic., iow, “My side is right and good–your side is wrong and evil: therefore anything either of us does is proof of that proposition.

  • JeffWest

    Please steal

    • Incoming Ham

      That…I have no words. Thank you.

    • Douglas E. Berry

      My Krazee Russkie friend say the proper translation is “Трамп”. Otherwise, magnificent.

      • Jared James

        Spelling it “troomp”, though, adds a certain je ne sais quois.

  • Incoming Ham

    What? No flags? The DNC isn’t a costume party? The RNC was and they had more fun. Democrat dummies.

  • MarkSmeatonAnnesBoy

    Trump is a lying lie baby liar who lies. Also, he is clown shoes.

  • pragmatist3

    Trump mentioned himself 45 times in his acceptance speech, but he never mentioned God. Not even God Bless America. Clearly he isn’t following the script.

    • rsheat

      Obama mentioned himself 119 times and thinks he is Allah.

      • Delu

        Ad hominem…lies, ad hominem….lies…

        Repeat ad nauseum.

  • rsheat

    Trump is right the Demoncrats live in a fantasy world. I never knew that many fools could congregate in one place. The Demoncrats are a blot on America.

    • Delu

      Trumpian Trolls echo Trump.

      Not really news.

    • doktorzoom

      Christ, you’re pathetic even for a troll.

  • Stein Olsen

    Has this been done before? No matter. Did it anyway.

    http://i.imgur.com/sCxifVO.jpg

  • Ralph

    This is what I was talking about

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