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We are so screwed
The crack Trump State Department, hard at work.

Donald J. Trump took time out Wednesday, while polishing his “Thousand Points of Bullshit” nomination-acceptance speech, to talk with the New York Times news-paper about foreign policy. It went about as well as you might expect.

Trump said that as president he would toss all out old-fashioned notions that have underlain American foreign policy for the past 75 years, dumb old ideas like “adhering to treaties,” and “meeting commitments to allies” and “not being a complete back-stabbing weasel at all times.”

Trump told the Times that America needs a fresh, new approach, the sort of tough-minded negotiating that made the Trump name a byword for avoiding taxes and stiffing business associates. Basically, everything’s up for renegotiation, from deterring nuclear proliferation to defending the Baltic states from a Russian invasion.

For example, asked about Russia’s threatening activities that have unnerved the small Baltic States that are among the more recent entrants into NATO, Mr. Trump said that if Russia attacked them, he would decide whether to come to their aid only after reviewing whether those nations “have fulfilled their obligations to us.”

He added, “If they fulfill their obligations to us, the answer is yes.”

Time for a little background. SKIP THIS PART IF YOU PASSED AP HISTORY; IT HAS VERY FEW DICK JOKES IN IT.

The first half of the 20th Century was a mind-boggling hellscape of death and destruction, because western democracies failed to successfully deter the ambitions of autocratic military governments. After World War II, America led an international effort to prevent a repetition of this sort of thing, creating the United Nations to help turn war-war into jaw-jaw.

But one of the United Nations was the Soviet Union, a member of the militarist dictator’s club with an economic and political system that scared the hell out of the so-called free world. So western Europe, the U.S. and Canada formed the North Atlantic Treaty Organization to deter the USSR and its allies from spreading godless Communism at bayonet-point.

lol, noobs
Easier WWII splainer

After the Soviet Union fell in 1991, and was succeeded more or less by a democratic government, NATO expanded right up to Russia’s new borders, taking in former Soviet allies and “Soviet republics” that wanted avoid future reabsorption into Greater Russia. Russia did not like that expansion one bit, and under Vladimir Putin has been prowling about on the borders of these new NATO states, especially Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania on the Baltic Sea. There are 28 NATO countries now.

OK, did everyone get that? There will be a test on this on Tuesday, Nov. 8 THAT IS MANDATORY.

NATO’s Article 5 policy, that an attack on any member is an attack on all, has been the basic cornerstone of American foreign policy, but Trump is all, yeah, you know what? Boring and expensive, so why bother?

One of the many, many brands of conspiracy-theory bullshit that Trump believes is that NATO countries don’t pay enough money into the alliance, so the U.S. should threaten to abandon them as a negotiating tactic until they pony up.

The president of Estonia hopped on the Twitter last night to pwn Trump about that:

NATO Secretary General and President of Estonia pwnage
NATO Secretary General and President of Estonia pwnage

Two percent of GDP spent on defense is considered the acceptable standard for European nations that don’t have the global ambitions and oceanic trade requirements of the United States, which spends about 3.3 percent (excluding foreign aid and veteran’s benefits).

Anyways, now you will know what he’s babbling about tonight when he sneers about Poland during his “America First” speech to the nation. Where have we heard that phrase before?

This friggin' guy
Fight Hitler? Show us the money first.

 

[New York Times, CNN for the paywalled]

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  • monoglot

    I am so embarrassed for people planning to vote for this moron.

    • (((JustPixelz)))

      I’m embarrassed for America’s reputation. Other countries are whispering that America is a slut who would fuck anybody.

      • FlownOver

        Or worse, a whore who takes your money up front and then splits.

    • FlownOver

      Wish there were some way we could let him be only their president. The rest of us could go ahead with reality-based government.

    • elviouslyqueer

      You misspelled “scared shitless,” darling.

  • FlownOver

    Not big on 90% of the Bill of Rights either, from all I hear.

  • doggiedaddy

    IF Hair Trump is elected and actually does the things he thinks he could do, would our military try their own coup?

    • beatbort

      Yes

    • (((JustPixelz)))

      Since 1799…

      The U.S. Supreme Court held that Navy commanders “act at their own peril” when obeying presidential orders when such orders are illegal.

  • Ezio

    I imagine this country is going to make soooo many enemies if Donald becomes the President…

    • revenant

      AOT,K

  • Scooby

    GOP thinks the world is on fire now. Beijing said GOP rhetoric is putting the countries on the road to war. Trump says he refuses to rule out war with China. WTF!

    • TeeRaak

      Scenario One: Trump orders unprovoked thermonuclear attack. Says there’s more where this comes from if any country doesn’t like it. All nuclear countries form coalition and launch simultaneously. 80% of America’s population dies within 5 years. Trump refuses to admit he’s wrong, in fact claims he was right about the world being a dangerous place.

      • richardgrabman

        I’m not saying we won’t get our hair mussed… four, five million tops.

        • TeeRaak

          Uh, depending on the breaks.

  • Rock Drummer

    trump will finish the conversion, which bush started, of this country to third world status.

  • Rick Hill

    Yeah, yeah. But what will VP Pence do in response to russian aggression?

    • monoglot

      Tweak their oppression of LGBT Russians, just to show we have common ground…

    • Msgr_Moment

      Force all abortionplexes to have shooting galleries, NRA offices, and peepee monitors for the restrooms.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Thoughts and prayers, my friend. Thoughts and prayers.

  • Señor Skwerl King

    And Jesus said, “Screw they neighbor and thy friend”.
    Two Corinthian Leathers 20:16

  • Gayer Than Thou

    This exchange:

    TRUMP: Have they fulfilled their obligations to us? If they fulfill their obligations to us, the answer is yes.

    HABERMAN: And if not?

    TRUMP: Well, I’m not saying if not.

    You’re running for fucking President, and you’re talking about one of our most significant alliances. How the fuck do you not have a plan for “if not”? I mean, I understand that all politicians are reluctant to be pinned down, for reasons both legitimate and slimy. But if you don’t actually have a significant policy proposal for changing our role in NATO, why are you even bringing it up?

    • FlownOver

      In this case, slimy only.

    • jmhm

      Which is even better since the last time he refused to answer a question about his foreign policy was on 60 Minutes, when she was trying to follow up on his plan to make NATO fight his wars for him.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        It seems perfectly consistent with his narcissism that he doesn’t seem to fully understand that what he suggests he might do as President affects all kinds of nations (and people) around the world. We’re not just doing a bunch of takes of Donald saying crazy shit so we have a lot to work with in post-production; we’re literally talking the course the nation and the world will take. /rant

        • jmhm

          He’s right out front that the basis of his career has been claiming victory every time he fails, and this is the modern GOP. Pace Sarah Palin, I think their voters knew all along that their leaders were rich elitist assholes who wouldn’t give them the time of day. Their preachers are too.

          The problem is that they’re a bucket of crabs, and the GOP has failed at giving them raw, bloody gobbets of brown people and teh gaiz and wimmenz to eat. Trump’s total lack of responsibility isn’t a bug, it’s a feature. And blue states are gonna keep paying for their medicaid and social security either way, so why not?

          • Thaumaturgist

            Trump can see Putin from the Trump Tower.

          • jmhm

            He’s actually pretty hilarious when he has a man crush.

    • Rock Drummer

      This trump asshole will run our country like he runs his pseudo businesses; bully to get his way, sue to get compliance or eliminate to get control. This shit is seriously scary and fucking trump simply does not care.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      I don’t think this buffoon even gets that “I’m not saying this, it’s what I read, other people, good people” is not going to fly at international treaty negotiations.

    • Jo Mathie

      Trump started off amusing and now it’s holy shit. Nothing he proposes makes any sense and loads of people are actually voting for him. What’s wrong with you Trump voters?

  • BadKitty904
  • Msmlg1979

    You might be ignorant if you think shaking our American dick in everyone’s face is a solid foreign policy plan.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Especially when you’re shaking the dick with tiny fingers.

    • monoglot

      Especially if you are using your tiny, tiny hands to shake it.

    • To be fair, it’ll be the first time he’s had a dick big enough to shake…

      • Msmlg1979

        We cannot let him get his tiny, slimy hands on the Dick of America!

        • Gayer Than Thou

          Which looks, surprisingly enough, like hamburger!

          • Msmlg1979

            Maybe one day we’ll be classy and smart, and have a bacon-wrapped filet mignon dick. Today is not that day.

          • BoatOfVelociraptors

            Will it be cooked texas style? With some machine gun jackin’?

          • Msmlg1979

            Probably. We can’t give up our cowboy style entirely.

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          But those tiny hands make America’s Dick look yoooge!

    • Logic of Color

      It’s worse that Bush’s “YEEHAW!” policy.

      • revenant

        imagine a foreign policy that makes Dubya’s look reasonable, measured and thoughtful

    • coozledad

      Imagine Trump is preznit
      I’ll bet that NATO can
      They’ll impound the nuclear bases
      And tell the US to pound sand.

      You may say I’m a realist
      but I’m just another geek
      who watched the UK starting
      to disappear last week.

      • Msmlg1979

        Haha!

    • nightmoth

      Yeah, it’s not like that dick hasn’t been bitten before.

  • beatbort

    Vladimir is Putin Trumpf up to this.

  • I’m in favor of letting other countries handle security within their own sphere of influence and reducing America’s involvement in foreign affairs that don’t affect our vital interests, but we’ve given our word to our treaty allies. And unlike a certain sociopathic immoral conman, that means something to me.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      We’re now living in The Art of the Deal. Everything is negotiable, and all negotiations are designed to give us a better deal. Too bad all his tactics only work on those who don’t have the power or leverage not to buckle under to Trump’s bullying.

    • richardgrabman

      “Sphere of Influence”? What is this, 1880? Your imperialist country’s “spheres of influence” are what is getting us killed here in the “influenced” countries. I say this as one who left the United States when Bush I was (not) elected out of a premonition (which proved true) that the United States would get itself into another war (or two) to protect its sphere of influence. If NATO is a mutual assistance pact, fine. Otherwise, stay home, and stay out of our affairs.

  • Rick Hill

    What’s the policy on disaster response and relief?
    “We’ll look at the cost/benefit of helping out any city or state. If those states don’t give enough to offset the benefit of saving those people, the answer is no. No help will be coming.”

    • Lizzietish81

      There goes the South

      • (((JustPixelz)))

        Try to act sad when they leave.

        • Rick Hill

          We won’t let them leave, just sit back and watch them burn/drown/fall in fracking induced earthquakes

        • Gayer Than Thou

          Be sure to count the silver before they go.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Did your state vote for me?

      • Rick Hill

        Yeah but what have they done lately? did they send the tribute to trump, as required?

      • revenant

        of course, it’s so obvious now- Christie would make the perfect FEMA director in the Drumpf administration

  • Lizzietish81

    Putin of course would love to have Trump under his manly thumb.

    • (((JustPixelz)))

      Manly AND normal sized.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    Is there absolutely nothing about which this cretin can get the basic facts straight?

    • Rabbit_Rebozo

      He pegged Cruz as a liar and Jeb! as a idiot, but beyond that? No, not really…

      • Aquaria

        Facts already established long before Trump pointed them out.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    Trump signs a non-aggression pact with Russia on day 1.

    • Rabbit_Rebozo

      Negotiated by this crack foreign policy team:

  • JVisconti

    Too lazy to find Latvian translation.

    • Rick Hill

      Preznit Trump will allow no aid to any country that does not speak English.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Scotland is right out, then!

    • Malmborg Implano

      I refuse to believe a lab would write such a thing.

      • SnarkTank

        A Yorkie, OTOH…

      • Aquaria

        They’re dogs. They’re stupid and do whatever they’re told, even if it’s stupid.

  • Rick Hill

    Trump and Putin leaving a closed door meeting:
    “Well, we started our negotiations with me bending Trump over the desk and reaming him till he cried. You can say we came to an understanding.”

    • Msgr_Moment

      “I stared into his eye. I think I felt his soul.” — Trump, afterwards.

      • Rick Hill

        Or, raw, naked fear. Same difference.

      • Panika MCD

        “but he didn’t even take off his shirt and fight me like the bear he is. will swipe left next time. BURN!” ~ Drumpf when Putin won’t return his Tweets

        “you’re going to need some preparation H for that burn. stop texting me. it was a one night thing.” ~ Putin responds to last Tweet

  • chortlingdingo

    Yes, let’s give the rest of the world even more reason to hate us. It’ll go so well for us in the future.

    • TJ Barke

      He’s gonna make America grate again!

  • Ezio

    “Donald Trump = The American Mussolini” -My 90 year old Italian grandmother that lived through WW2 in Europe.

    • monoglot

      Il Douche

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Ill Douche

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Poor Rudy 911. His title has been stolen.

      • revenant

        he’s just a furious little wannabe, shouting and gesticulating from behind the barriers

  • Mr. Blobfish

    The next person that sez government should be run like a business gets a kick in the nuts.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      Businesses are dictatorships. You can always take out problematic members.

      • Logic of Color

        And employees are a necessary evil, instead of “the reason you exist”.

      • richardgrabman

        More like drug “cartels”… although calling your hitmen an “army” or using drone strikes to take out potential rivals is a bit more sophisticated.

  • (((JustPixelz)))

    I read NYT transcript. It’s awful to consider Trump is taken seriously for anything. He will not or cannot answer any questions.

    Again, I notice Trump’s analysis of our defense treaties and military decisions about where/how to deploy our forces are driven not by efficacy but by how much others are paying.

    (BTW: Manafort says Trump was misquoted by NYT. A safe accusation among Republicans, but a sure sign that Trump actually said something monumentally stupid.)

    • jmhm

      I wonder if Trump has made little pinch’s GOP chubby go down enough for them to release the tapes?

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      If anything, the full context makes it worse.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Putin’s bitch, Manafort, needs to be stripped of his citizenship and deported.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      …Trump’s analysis of our defense treaties and military decisions about where/how to deploy our forces are driven not by efficacy but by how much others are paying.

      Might be the problem with thinking you can (or should) run a country “like a business” right there.

  • memzilla

    As this portrait of Drumpf’s ancestor proves, we should NOT be electing this guy to lead the Free World.
    .

  • BadKitty904

    It occurs to me that this dangerous level of incompetence and ignorance at the Executive level is one of the causes of military coups.

  • Duke

    If no one notices, America is freaking rich beyond all imagination. Even Putin recently said that we’re the only superpower. Like 10 aircraft carrier battle groups and the biggest airforce by far and spending more money than the next 10 biggest militarys combined and some of those are our besties.

    Apparently Donald and all the whining idiots who want more money spent on the military don’t have a clue.

    USA! USA! USA!

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      You are right, but it’s simpler to just list the things trumplethinskin knows, than the things he hasn’t a clue about. The internets can only handle so much at one time.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    “What? You expect us to honor a contract? We’ll see you in court, losers!” — Drumpf to NATO allies.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      “Lawyer up, Estonia!”

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    Treaty obligations are like debt. You can default and convince your allies to buy it back at a discount.

  • Spotts1701

    Someone last night commented on the Twitters “Ever been to Latvia? Who cares?”
    Well, pretty sure the Latvians care…

    • therblig

      you’d think they’d be trump’s kind of ally. wait, what?

      • therblig

        kindred trumpy

        • Tishalicious

          Latverian Diplomat Libulz!!

  • (((JustPixelz)))

    In fairness, Trump studied foreign policy at Trump University. He even bought the up-sell package on Article XII of the Constitution.

    • TeeRaak

      My foreign policy? Dumb blondes with big tits. Any more questions…

      • The Wanderer

        Better than big blondes with dumb tits.

  • CapnFatback

    When Trump says “foreign policy,” I think it’s pretty clear that he means that any sort of policy is foreign to him.

    • Logic of Color

      Instead of war based on the target’s oil potential it’ll be based on real estate values. “Trump declares war on la cote d’azur!”

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    Estonia is so cute, trying to use facts when dealing with Trump.

    • weejee

      Isn’t Estonia Messican for “been smoking weed”?

    • BadKitty904

      The Ambassador of Freedonia would have as much luck.

      • georgiaburning

        They need to send Mrs Teasdale

        • BadKitty904

          Margaret Dumont could handle Trump, easy, with one flick of her lorgnette. AND she’d make a better President.

      • grindstone

        Hail, hail, Freedonia!

  • Michael Smith

    And yet his supporters are ready to tear their beards because Obama isn’t enthusiastic enough about Israel.

  • Malmborg Implano

    lol he is not President of Earth

    • Spotts1701

      Of course he isn’t. We already have an unimpeachable one.

  • Rick Hill

    Any question in anyone’s minds that trump would approach every situation the same way?
    “What’s in it for me?”(Not what’s in it for the country but he himself personally)

  • Rick Hill

    Gosh. He should remember how concerned his base is about Americans dying in foreign countries because the government fails to act!!

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Not. Funny. Anymore.
    Not.

    • BadKitty904

      I’m not seeing a silver lining in nuclear winter…

      • Msgr_Moment

        Oh, so Global Warming is your idea of a good time?

        • BadKitty904

          Well, at least it’s a slower death…

          • Gayer Than Thou

            Plus, if you plan ahead, you won’t have to move to have prime beachfront property – the beach will come to you!

          • BadKitty904

            lol I live – and grew up – two blocks from a bay. It’s already done that several times.

      • Logic of Color

        No? Not excited about End Times(TM)?

        • BadKitty904

          No. Starvation and radiation poisoning are not a good look for me.

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            Having lived through times when we practiced hiding under our desks for when the Commies dropped The Big One, I’m more in favor of obliteration than survival, myownself.

          • BadKitty904

            As I mentioned earlier, I’m just down the road from the Navy’s Mayport submarine base. I’ll be vapor before I have time to worry about it.

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            Yeah, I’m hoping they’ve got something targeting the armory down the road from me.

          • Logic of Color

            Unless pigshit becomes a military asset anytime soon I’ll be lingering a bit.

          • BadKitty904

            Well, if Bartertown is any example…

          • nightmoth

            Well, I could get excited about having Tina Turner as Queen.

          • revenant

            not all guided missiles, let alone bombers, hit the right target

          • Tishalicious

            Yeah, I’m a soprano…developing the ghoul rasp would tragically end my career (before it even started too!)

        • Spotts1701

          Can I rule New Vegas? No?
          Then yeah, not excited.

      • Lizzietish81

        That’s because your eyes have mutated

        • BadKitty904

          WHAT eyes?

          • BadKitty904

            That’s the “Madonna of Nagasaki,” for those who are wondering – a statue of the Blessed Virgin, from Urakami Cathedral, which survived the nuclear attack of 1945.

  • Msgr_Moment

    As the Germans say, “Trump speaks out both his assholes.”

    • weejee

      Schweinhund, auch außerdem

  • weejee

    I’m guessing Herr dRumpf hasn’t read Austerity.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    I saw Hillary’s “Our children are watching” ad a couple times last night, and it was great, as all of her ads that attack trumplethinskin using his own words are. If there’s not a “here’s why we need not to terrify the rest of the world about our obligations to NATO” ad splainer in the next day or so I’ll buy a hat and eat it.

  • BadKitty904

    Brought to You by President Trump and the Republican Party!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7VG2aJyIFrA

    • anwisok

      That movie scared the shit out of me.

      • BadKitty904

        Even now, it’s pretty horrifying. I’m not real grateful that Donnie & Co. are busily updating it…

    • revenant

      the Reich Wing was utterly furious that somebody made this movie.
      it was deemed to undermine the country’s “resolve”
      they went on and on about how unpatriotic it was for months

      • BadKitty904

        Yet they’re foisting tRump on us…

  • CapnFatback

    “Hey, Latvia, sure would like to help you with your Russian problem. I’d also like to find a buyer for this YOOOGE warehouse full of Trump steaks. I wonder if there isn’t some sort of terrific solution to both our problems?”

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …day after day, this election cycle gets scarier and scarier!!! This moron has zero grasp of international, domestic or fiscal policy. If he had a basic high school level understanding of civics and history he would know why we shouldn’t alienate our allies!!!

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Y’know, when you put it that way, it makes me think that maybe people who have been insulated from hard knocks may not really understand that sometimes you have to make people like you, even if you don’t want to, so you can get what you need from them.

  • DerrickWildcat

    Scotland must be protected at all costs.

    • weejee

      Not sure the Donald is an Outlander fan.

      • Logic of Color

        I got bored with season 2 and can’t seem to finish it. Does it get better? Season 1 was amazeballz.

        • Shan the Libtart

          FINISH IT!!!

    • George

      Not if the commies play golf.

  • HanBarbara

    So he has basically told Putin that if he invades the Baltic states, America will not come to their defense. Who’s the traitor now?

    • Rick Hill

      They want help, they better pony up.

    • JohnBull

      Easy, we are. For pointing it out. It’s also why we’re the racists whenever a cop shoots a black guy for having a broken tail light.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Coming this winter – I Know You Are, But What Am I 2: You’re The Real Sexist For Pointing It Out.

  • cmd
    • Malmborg Implano

      Yes, words have consequences, even when they come out of the mouth of an irresponsible clown.

    • Msgr_Moment

      Remember the good ole days when world leaders were afraid to interfere with US elections?

      • BadKitty904

        I wonder how much Putin is paying for this one?

    • OddMan

      The problem is there is always that 30% or so of the voting public that believes anything that Mr. Trump says. So they are absolutely in favor of the US pulling out of NATO. Hell go read the comments on that polito story, it’s full of RWNJ saying just that.

      • cmd

        Unfortunately you are right — I won’t subject myself to the comments, though…Mainly I wanted to post that story to get the NATO guy’s statement in there.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    People who do not understand history are likely to replicate it.
    -me, mostly

  • georgiaburning

    Hieronymus Bosch should be Trump’s campaign manager

    • BadKitty904

      But he might expect to be paid…

  • mackafritz

    Trump is going to be destroyed in the debates.

    • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

      Debate, singular. There won’t be a second, unless Hillary completely blows it. Considering Obama’s first with Romney, that’s not impossible…

      • mackafritz

        Romney was at least smart. Trump is Trump,

      • HanBarbara

        Hillary is the Hermione Granger of politicians. She does her homework. She will wipe the floor with him.

        • Joe Beese

          She takes pride in being an insufferable know-it-all?

          (I kid! I kid the Hillary supporters. But it’s all in good fun.)

          • The Wanderer

            I’d rather have a know-it-all than a know-nothing.

        • Ghenghis McCann

          Because:

      • Joe Beese

        At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if Trump ducks them altogether by setting impossible conditions for them – i.e. Hillary has to make a contribution to the Benghazi victims’ families.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          I’ve said it before, I don’ think there’ll be any debates. Trump’s a bully. Bullies are cowards. Cowards don’t go out of their way to put themselves in positions where someone else can fuck them over.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      In real debates, where moderators ask proper questions and enforce the rules, Trump wouldn’t stand a chance. In these – could go either may.

    • JohnBull

      No. All he has to say is “Only elitists go to countries like Latvia!” and he automatically gets 45% of the vote. These are conservatives we’re talking about here.

      • natoslug

        Only elitists get their fourth wives from countries like Latvia!

  • TeeRaak

    Donald J. Trump: Over paid, Over sexed, Over Here…
    https://media0.giphy.com/media/iL9Nh4gwcCMQo/giphy.gif

    • Msgr_Moment

      You left out Over matched.

  • mardam422

    So, what’s the word in Trump’s speech tonight that we have to drink if we hear?

    • mackafritz

      Crooked Hillary?

      • mardam422

        That’s it!!!

    • Msmlg1979

      Winning?

      • Lance Thrustwell

        That plan has “emergency room” written all over it.

        • Msmlg1979

          I don’t even really drink. I lprefer a different poison, but I’m always ready to encourage others to have another tequila shot.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Considering the amount of drinking we’ve done to this point, I’m going to suggest that we choose “antidisestablishmentarianism.” So we can keep our livers.

    • The Wanderer

      “Potrzebie?”

      • mardam422

        What? Me worry?

    • cmd

      If you don’t want to die of alcohol poisoning, maybe it could be any word that 3 syllables or more.

      • jmhm

        If you don’t want to drink at all, any word at all that isn’t in a sentence with “me” or “I”

    • Joe Beese

      AOTK

    • Tio_Doidinho

      “The Aristocrats!”

    • Rick Hill

      NO triggers needed, just don’t stop drinking till he stops talking. Unless you still need to drink more then, carry on.

  • iGrover

    It’s all about paying “tribute” to Trump and the USA. No different than a mafia shakedown. Nothing to see here, move on.

  • Joshua Norton

    So basically the Dems are running against Putin. You’d think that would make things easier for us.

    • Rick Hill

      Whod’ve thought that it would be a big plus for republican voters.

  • ClarkJoe

    In Putin’s Russia, American Democracy destroy you.

    http://cdn2.sbnation.com/imported_assets/1662549/putin-deal.gif

  • Mavenmaven

    Trump: Nice little country you got there, would hate to see anything happen to it, if you know what I mean.

  • Michael Reynolds

    I am starting to think the conservatives who are electing Trump know he will start WW3 and start a nuclear Armageddon. Most of these people think God will save them from this, and let everyone they hate (not like them) die in a nuclear inferno. Or they have a bunker and think they will rebuild America when the nuclear winter ends. Either way I think we are all fucked if he gets elected president. Time to apply for a work visa in New Zealand. At least in the southern hemisphere the fallout from the nukes will be limited since the vast majority will be trapped in the northern jet stream.

    • pstockholm

      Not so worried about a Pres. Trump, more an Acting Pres. Pence, with both houses.

    • OddMan

      Like the great old movie “On The Beach” except for that limited fallout thingy.

    • toughsister

      They’ll survive great if they just buy Jim Bakker’s bucket of black bean burgers and potato soup.

    • natoslug

      I thought the streams were merging and crossing. Somebody didn’t learn his lesson from Ghostbusters.

    • Again with the pale horse bit…

    • Jenny

      Most of them believe that a desk would save them from a bomb that reached temperatures of 10,000 degrees. Or that they’re John Mcclane and today is a good day to Die Hard. Just plain ignorance is good enough.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Do y’all think there’s any hope that there’s a Venn diagram of “people who read the NYT” and “people who were planning to vote for trumplethinskin” where the overlap is “people who are now understanding that a vote for trumpf is a vote against a future”?

    • mackafritz

      Empty set.

    • jmhm

      Jill Stein certainly hopes not.

      • Joe Beese

        LEAVE JILL ALONE!

        • jmhm

          He’s actually pretty cute now.

          and probably not :)

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Jill Stein has the Nader disease…she says Drumpf and Hillz are pretty much the same.

        She’s an incredibly stupid bitch.

        • jmhm

          I’m certainly starting to think she’s less than rational. And so, it appears, is Cornel West.

          And so, this idea that somehow we’ve got to opt for a neoliberal disaster as the only option vis-à-vis the neofascist catastrophe, as a blues man, I appreciate you playing that blues, said I can deal with catastrophe, not by panicking and being driven by fear, but I can look the catastrophe in the face and still tell the truth and still go down swinging with a smile and, most importantly, love, Coltrane’s love—and for me, Jesus’s love—at the center of how we proceed.

          • Lance Thrustwell

            Cornel is a sweet guy, he really is. But quite often, he should *not* be taken seriously outside the arenas of pop culture, black history, or civil rights. Those are his wheelhouses.

          • jmhm

            I’m just saying, Coltrane was awesome, but I don’t think Professor West using him as a Rorschach test is a particularly strong argument.

          • tomamitai

            And wearing a scarf with a suit, indoors or out, all year round.

        • SDGeoff

          That is the first time I’ve seen someone calling another a bitch here.

          • natoslug

            It’s a valid word in the English language! Look it up! Where’s my McChicken McSammich?!

          • SDGeoff

            Lol! The Best Valid Words! Like the ones that come to you when the opportunity is lost!

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          She does believe in equal rights for homeopaths…

  • Beanz&Berryz

    Nothing like moving the American military tripwire to prevent attacks against allies back onto our side of the ocean, and then tripping over it our ownselves first, so everyone knows full well just what to expect from us…

  • TheGrandWaz00

    Trump’s Secretary of Defense nominee was not available for comment.
    http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/001/009/041/5ea.jpg

    • ClarkJoe

      Alex Jones?

    • Nockular cavity

      ON TO VALHALLA!

      • jmhm

        or get off in White Plains.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    I have to say that I laughed my ass off at the “easier WW2 splainer” though!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Yup, I did too!

    • The Wanderer

      Yeah, that made me giggle a lot.

  • Joe Beese

    1. Putin hopes Trump wins.
    2. Putin is unprincipled.
    3. Putin has the ability to make dramatic things happen.

    Just putting that out there.

    • ISIS hopes trump wins. N Korea hopes trump wins. What did they say about friends of my frenimies were my what?

  • anwisok

    I feel sorry for the folks making Hillary’s ads. With so much to choose from, how do you decide which of Donald’s lines to use? Tough decisions, indeed.

    • DainBramage

      The sad part is that there are crazy people who will agree with any derp that dribbles from his mouth.

  • Poly_Ester

    Trump’s new campaign manager (and Putin PR man) Paul Manafort is having an impact already.

  • coozledad

    Putin/Trump 2016. From Russia to Uranus!

    • BadKitty904

      THAT should be a bumper-sticker.

  • I Only Like Cats

    It’s like Trump is made of every dystopian novel ever written and he’s not even aware of it.

    • SDGeoff

      John Galt is back. Ewww.
      Just like Elvis.

    • BadKitty904

      He’s a figment of Stephen King’s imagination.

    • Rick Hill

      Which one has he read? Not,K

    • Trump firmly believes he’s living Kilgore Trout’s Now It Can Be Told.

      http://www.oocities.org/marek_vit/kt_boc2.html#it_can_be

      • proudgrampa

        The Pan-Galactic Memory Bank

        In Trout’s novel, The Pan-Galactic Memory Bank, the hero is on a space ship two hundred miles long and sixty-two miles in diameter. He gets a realistic novel out of the branch library in his neighborhood. He reads about sixty pages of it, and then he takes it back.

        The librarian asks him why he doesn’t like it, and he says to her, “I already know about human beings.”

  • We’re gonna need a bigger wall.

    • A dome.

      • sw19womble

        With Thunder.

        • borninatrailer

          Master did have very tiny hands..

        • Grizz1y

          Master

      • Thaumaturgist

        A Superdome. But with floodgates.

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    Wait, I thought Pence was gonna destroy our foreign policy…?

    • BadKitty904

      You say po’-NATO, he says oh-NOT-o…

  • proudgrampa

    Those who refuse to learn from history, something something something.

  • Rick Hill

    “Russia is poised to invade Uzbheckebekca-whatsis? Is that even a real country? Never heard of it, who cares. I got a haircut now so you people clear out.”

    • thegirlwiththekittentattoo

      It’s “Uzbekebekestanstan”.

      • tomamitai

        Uzbecky with the good hair. I can’t remember who I stole that line from!

        • thegirlwiththekittentattoo

          I’m pretty sure it was Melania.

          “My dad’s from Alabama, my ma Louisiana, you mix that negro with that Creole make a Texas Bama”
          -Milania Trump

  • Randy Riddle

    Someone at work mentioned this morning that the election was starting to look like “House of Cards”. I responded that it was looking more like “Seven Days in May” or “Fail Safe”.

    • bupkus23

      The Republican side is looking more like “My Mother, The Car” meets Lawrence Welk…

    • Dr.Zoidberg

      Dear Cthulhu, please not ‘The Day After’.

    • Nockular cavity

      I’m calling the Republican Convention the Red, White, and Blue Wedding.

    • bozilingus

      “On the Beach”

  • coozledad

    Sure, Donald. Rip the fucking lid off the Balkans. The whole stewing shitpot of euro irredentism, now armed with enough weapons to undertake the most thorough ethnic cleansing.

    You hear that, white motherfuckers? He’s barking up YOUR fucking tree now.

    • The Wanderer

      Pardon me. The topic was the Baltic States, quite a ways north of the Balkans.

      • sw19womble

        What happened in Yugoslavia will be a fucking cakewalk compared to Putin deciding to test out this ‘renegotiation’ with some boots on the ground in the Baltics.

      • duckshoe

        True, but Putin thinks NATO meddles in the south as well (Serbia/Kosovo, Ukraine) and he’s provocative there as well. Which is why Trump admires him: Strong! Multitasker!

        • The Wanderer

          The Russians and the Serbs are traditional allies, yes.

          • duckshoe

            The Balkans are a tinderbox. What if someone attacks the Archduke?

      • natoslug

        Baltics, Balkans, tomahtoe. What coozledad is saying is that all those dirty Bals are going to be bursting.

        • Rick Hill

          Woah! An actual funny ballz joke on Wonkette!
          *golf cap*

      • coozledad

        I think his position will be uniform in regard to sewing chaos. Manafort must still be working for Putin.

        I wouldn’t put it past Trump to offer the Kuril islands to Putin as a birthday present.

  • TheGrandWaz00
    • Nockular cavity

      Also, too: “Buh-bye, NATO troops!”

  • Rick Hill

    This just goes to show you the republicans were only angry that Obama wasn’t their dictator, not that he would do all those awful things in their fantasies.

    • Seriously I think their cries of FMEA camps were just doomsday fantasies. What ever happened to the “preppers” TeeVee show?

  • DesertedPictures

    So ‘weak obama’ convinced eu allies to spent more on defense by politely asking and actually visiting the baltic states. He also succeeded in stronger ties between countries to gather anti-terrorist inteligence. I’m sure the Donald is going to accomplish the same by surrendering to the russians before the war even starts.

    • tomamitai

      I’m sure the Donald is going to accomplish the same by surrendering to the russians before the war even starts.

      Maybe he plans to pull a Grand Fenwick? Declare war, immediately surrender, then watch the Rubles roll in as the Russians help us to rebuild! What could go wrong?

      • Mezzaluna

        I really shouldn’t have put off learning mandarin for so long.

  • Blender_415

    Melania will give the Donald such a talking to if he gives up Slovenia.

    • She just needs to remember to go through her notes and cross out all the ‘Baracks’ and pencil in ‘Donald’.

    • BrianW

      Oh, I can see how that will go: “OK, Donald, I will still be doing the butt stuff. But you must be taking me twice to Tiffany’s because of my homeland you denied.”

  • JVisconti

    Donald can’t seem to shake his recollection that the Baltics were just a low rent Monopoly game property.

    • h4rr4r

      I think you mean source of new wives.

      • Not good enough for the Russian woman, and too good for the polish women…

      • Grizz1y

        He sticks to Central Europe for those.

        • h4rr4r

          Everything east of the wall is Eastern Europe.

  • sw19womble

    “Diplomacy. How does it work? No, seriously, someone explain it to me.”
    – The Donald.

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      “You see Donald it means you talk to other countries”
      “Boring, someone tell me how awesome I am.”
      “But Donald, you really need to discuss how to negotiate”
      “Bored now. Are you always this boring? Tell me I’m amazing’
      :sigh: “You’re terrific Mr. Trump. Just wonderful”
      “You’re goddamn right I am!”

    • Mezzaluna

      It’s like negotiating. You pout and you shout and bully the opposition into taking your shitty offer, cause they know you’re broke anyway.
      Or if I could find the linke, like General Wellington in Black Adder the Third. “Shout and shout again.”

    • Boscoe

      “…never mind, too late, I’m bored now. …Are there any beauty pageant contestants around I can grope?”

  • goonemeritus

    I ask you, where was Slovenia when England was burning our capital?

    • Part of the French Empire at that time, if you remember – they came to our Naval aid then.

    • Joe Beese

      Where was Gondor when the Westfold fell?! Where was Gondor when our enemies closed in around us?!

    • chicken thief

      Trump saw news footage of Latvians laughing as Germany bombed Pearl Harbor!!!!!

    • DesertedPictures

      Wel they came when the us attacked afghanistan.

  • Ghenghis McCann

    We burned the White House back in 1814. How long can you hang on to a grudge?

    • Thaumaturgist

      202 years. Plus. And Canada invaded Detroit in 1812. That grudge is 204 years. The US America is now Trumpenstan.

      • natoslug

        If you invade our Detroit, you can keep our Detroit! (well, actually, no, because I’ve always thought Detroit would be a cool city to live in, if it weren’t so fucking cold and leaded)

        • Thaumaturgist

          Detroit lies in a valley. Usually, the snow floats over it. Detroit is always 2 to 4 degrees warmer than the northern suburbs, 5 to 10 degrees warmer than Chicago. Balmy.

          • natoslug

            So . . . perfect weather for those of us happy living where it drops into the 40’s/50’s during the winters and is generally in the mid 60’s to low 70’s during the summer, with nighttime cooling to a reasonable 55-60?

          • Thaumaturgist

            There are limits to everything. Think of it this way, Detroit has seasons and it never actually gets really cold, very often.

          • Mezzaluna

            Iceland would be an option there.

    • Skadi

      FOREVER.

    • BadKitty904

      Well, speaking as a Southerner, rather than as a damnyankee…

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      IT TOOK A LOT OF SLAVES TO BUILD THAT HOUSE YOU LOBSTERBACK BASTARDS! It REALLY tied our country together.

    • revenant

      if polled, maybe 2 or 3%, tops, of US Amercians would know this

      Amercians know sportsball stats and celebrity gossip; it is anti-Amercian and elitist to “know stuff” outside a very narrow band, which decidedly does not include history

  • DesertedPictures

    So is Trump a manchurian candidate?

    • natoslug

      He is the kindest, gentlest, bravest candidate any of the speakers other than Cruz have every known. Although I think he’s more of an angry version of Chauncey Gardiner.

      • Skadi

        Chance the gardener libelz!

  • BadKitty904

    Wasn’t there some sort of trouble started in the Balkans in 1914? How’d that turn out, anyway?

    • natoslug

      Pretty good, from what I remember. They got a word added to the dictionary in their honor. Who doesn’t want to make it into the dictionary?

    • Nockular cavity

      The Balkans the Baltics. I know, I get ’em confused, too.

      ETA: Doesn’t mean WWIII won’t start in the Baltics this time.

      • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

        Baltics north, Balkans south.

    • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

      Not well…

    • Grizz1y

      Then there was 1939 in Poland, something I can see Putin rerunning, a few Polish uniforms, some dead bodies, and suddenly Russia has to invade Poland to defend itself. No too different from what recently happened in Ukraine.

      • BadKitty904

        Not too different at ALL. And Lil’ Donnie would do jack.

        • Boscoe

          …except attempt to negotiate lucrative reconstruction contracts for his companies.

          • BadKitty904

            And “hire” “state workers” at slave “wages”…

  • JohnC44

    It’s becoming increasing difficult to draw sufficient resources of character to transmutate abject terror into witty quips, or in my case, exhaustingly verbose Elizabethan monologues of arguable comedic value.

    The reality of this individual’s ability to get to this point at all is what terrifies me more than the “man” himself. The cat is out of the bag now and the reality is we are surrounded by those who lean towards authoritarian fascism in the hopes of easing their questionable fears. This is not new, but it’s incredibly disheartening to see how widespread this mentality is amongst neighbors we thought we knew well. These leanings are something that you should rightly hide in shame in this country, but sadly June 2015 marked the end of that era, apparently.

    What the hell happens on Nov 9? Is The Executive Senior Chairman of The Advisory Council for Batshit Crazy White Dudes SuperPAC going to address the nation with something like: “Uhhh…hey…yeah…that whole thing was ‘our-bad’. Let’s start fresh, forget the last 15 months and act like nothing even happened?”. Undoubtedly, the peace would last all of an hour before the claims of “genocide” are reiterated.

    • Elizabethan monologues are of inarguable comedic value. They suck.

      (Speaking as someone who THANK GOD never gets cast as a clown)

    • revenant

      two words- Radio Rwanda. the Trumpanzees dream

  • SadDemInTex

    I thought Trump was gonna leave all the foreign (and domestic) policy up to Mikey. He’ll just say “Poland….you are fired!”

    • Querolous

      Emperor Trumpalpatine and Darth Pence?

  • nightmoth

    I find having serious media cover Trump and ask him policy questions to be rather ludicrous. Really, just hold the election as soon as Hillary is formally nominated, because is there anybody who doesn’t know already who they’re voting for in November? The angry white male know-nothings who are Trump’s constituency are not scratching their heads and going “Well, I don’t know that I approve of his stance on all of NATO’s articles: let me find out what Mrs. Clinton has to say on the subject.” It’s as if he’s being legitimized by media coverage. Yeah, I know they have to cover him: after all, he IS the GOP nominee (as much as I wish this were all a bad dream) but damn! I’m sick of seeing his ugly mug in the media, and it’s only July!

    • natoslug

      Nader hasn’t started running yet. We need to give him another month or two to start campaigning.

      • nightmoth

        Oh, gawd, no!

      • Bitter Scribe

        Gary Johnson is bad enough. The Chicago Tribune ran two articles this morning extolling him.

        • jmk

          I just enjoy describing him as “private prison enthusiast, Gary.”

        • revenant

          if memory serves, the Trib was pro-Hitler right up to Pearl Harbor

          • Bitter Scribe

            And even after Pearl Harbor, the Trib kept harping on why we needed to concentrate on the Japanese and leave the British and Russians to deal with Hitler.

            In fairness, it wasn’t that the Trib was pro-Hitler so much as anti-British and anti-Communist. But that Colonel McCormick, what a piece of work.

      • Calton

        If by “running”, you mean “towards the horizon, pursued by ravenous wolves”, then yes. Otherwise, no, just STFU, Ralph.

      • DemmeFatale

        Nader is already campaigning in spirit.
        Hey, BoBs and Bros! Start demonizing Trump for a change!

        Oh, I forgot… Most of you are thinly-veiled Trump supporters or “out for yourselves” libertarians. (Is Donny punking the whole Democratic party, or am I just paranoid?)

        • natoslug

          I don’t think Donny really knows what he’s doing. If he was trying to punk the Democratic party, he’s already lost that thread in search of the latest new shiny.

          • DemmeFatale

            I’ll bet you’re right.
            (I’m just a little weary from this loooooong election.)
            That little manipulation he pulled during Cruz’s speech last night set me to wondrin’.

          • natoslug

            I hope I’m right. Of course, I hope she trounces him by such incredible margins that there’s no calling it a horse race or any of that other B.S. they’re using now. Final tally: 90% Clinton, 3% Johnson, 0.005% Stein, 6.whatever% Trump.

    • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

      No. You need the campaign. You have to let Drumpf keep digging that hole, and you need the debates for Hillary to hit him over the head with the goddamn shovel. Then comes the election, when Americans get to fill in the hole…with votes!

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      No, much like drawing venom from a wound we need this extra time for people to really let it sink in how horrible the Trumpus really is…

  • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

    The WW II ‘splainer is comedy gold! GOLD Major!

  • artem1s

    I want to give Drumpf points for getting that military spending is out of control, but I also have to double penalize him for buying the GOP crap that it’s NATO’s fault we are blowing our economy on endless warmongering.

    • sw19womble

      “Blame the Foreigners”

    • Boscoe

      Wait… I haven’t really been paying attention… last I heard, trump was all about “strengthening our military that Obama has gutted”. I guess that was last week’s position…

      • revenant

        “position”? he just says stuff. if it contradicts what he said just a moment before, or last week, or last month, makes no difference; his idjit followers don’t hear anything they don’t want to hear, and don’t understand what they do hear. the fearsome “Liberal Media” can’t be arsed about it either

    • akryan

      He doesn’t. He wants vastly expand their budget. “Rebuild our depleted military that is in horrible condition”.

  • DesertedPictures

    Well if the US doesn’t want the job: maybe Germany can be convinced to spend on pre-ww2 levels on the military. Awaken their inner-prusians. What could go wrong?

    • Thaumaturgist

      England and Wales have decided to separate from the Fourth Reich. Europe no longer is united. OTOH, during WWII, all the Englsh did was get in the way. Oh, they also provided a secure base 11 miles off the European coast.

      • DesertedPictures

        What are you babling about?

      • Hairstrike Alpha

        Lol Wut? Did you just call the EU the fourth Reich? I hope that is satire…

        • sw19womble

          I wouldn’t go so far as to describe it the Fourth Reich myself, but…

          • Hairstrike Alpha

            The EU is a LIBERAL organization- not fascist. It’s also poorly organized. The UK withdrawal from the EU was orchestrated by fascists so explain how comparing the EU to the third Reich at all makes sense. Not to mention that it was the English who more or less invented national Socialism….

          • sw19womble

            The EPP is a right-wing organisation, of the dreaded “neoliberal” neoclassical supply side austerity measure bullshit.

            If you believe that the driving force behind trying to unite (politically, not just economically) a disparate and wide-ranging cultures and states under one fake, man-made umbrella, are liberals, then you’ve been horribly misinformed.

            I beg you -and others – to read up more about Juncker and his cronies, and not just fall for the bullshit that’s been thrown around (on both sides, to be fair)

          • Hairstrike Alpha

            Bullshit- liberal policy drove its creation. Eradicating borders, economic interdependence and anti-nationalism are all liberal policy goals. Part of my degree studies involved foreign affairs and I studied both the EU and the UN pretty in-depth.

          • sw19womble

            WTF?

          • Hairstrike Alpha
          • sw19womble

            Thanks for the link. :)
            IMHO Economic ties and interconnected levels of mutual interest are enough to keep the peace. Trying to forge ahead with the creation of “deeper political ties” is, shall we say, unnecessary.
            It goes far beyond just gilding the lily – and the imposition of austerity measures across so many disparate national economies in the past eight years has just shown it up to be pie-in-the-sky nice-in-theory ego-stroking.
            But that’s my opinion, on the ground.
            Peace out.

          • Europe is economically interdependent and the Union formalises that and makes armed conflict between European states far less likely and unity a benefit not an impediment.

            This is not “Bullshit Liberalism” this is practical politics working to make the world a fucking sight safer

          • Hairstrike Alpha

            Re-read my comment and assume this- is attaching the ideas in the sentence together but not the words. I have written papers on my fondness for IR liberalism. Is it perfect? No, but the existence of the UN and EU have coincidentally resulted in not a single world war since 1945. Hell there hasn’t even been a major conflict since Vietnam ended, it’s almost all been the imperial US acting as a practitioner of realism with liberal pretenses being schizo and kicking small countries around in order to force them to become our client state buddies….for liberal reasons. I know, our foreign policy doesn’t make any sense to me either.

          • You’ve written papers, fine. You claim that the UN and the EU were coincidental with peace in Europe, I choose to disagree.

            I also choose to point out that Political Science is neither politics nor science. The lack of politics in the discipline is obvious; the lack of science is exemplified by the fact that the hypotheses of a political scientist cannot be falsified.

          • Hairstrike Alpha

            Well that was a rather condescending and well appreciated remark. I’ll be sure to try harder to measure up to your definition of a “scientist”. Maybe if you learned more about political science…
            Also, the UN and EU have been instrumental to peace in Europe- I was being facetious by claiming coincidence.

          • Sorry for misreading your facetiousness.

            Look at the definition of science. A discipline can only be regarded as scientific if a hypotheses in that discipline is capable of being falsified – i.e. can be shown to be wrong empirically. Political science cannot meet that part of the definition of science.

  • Bitter Scribe

    This is unbelievable. Republicans have been motherfucking Obama for years on end for not standing up to Putin, letting Putin have his way in Ukraine and Syria, etc., etc.

    Now they’re falling in line behind Trump, who ACTIVELY KISSES UP to the guy.

    Do these fuckers believe in ANYTHING besides winning elections by any means possible?

    • DesertedPictures

      It’s almost as if they lied about their reasons for opposing obama!

      • jmk

        I think we didn’t fully realize which part of the sentence “that black guy doesn’t stand up to Putin” was more onerous to them.

    • nightmoth

      No. No, they do not.
      2nd question: WHY do they want to win elections?
      Correct answer: money and power.
      The answer, “To implement deeply held conservative beliefs for the good of the country” would be incorrect.

    • Boscoe

      I love rhetorical questions…

  • DainBramage

    Think of the poor arms manufacturers! They need WWIII.

    • Boscoe

      They’re just tryin to feed their kids! …by killing yours. :P

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    To be fair, Trump can’t rightly express his love and admiration for his boyfriend Vladimir by adhering to treaties that inconvenience his shirtless god. He’s just trying to express his love is all, yeesh liberals cut the guy a break already!

  • DesertedPictures

    So who is going to tell melania that her husband is about to abandon her country of birth?

    • Is there a speech they can plagiarize to help them tell her?

      • DesertedPictures

        Ich bin ein Berliner?

    • RobKanC

      South side of Chicago should be fine.

    • Msgr_Moment

      Good-bye and thanks for all the fish?

    • BeachBum

      He didn’t make the deal. Its not his fault its a bad investment. Gotta cut losses.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    It has been a shibboleth of the right that we spend too much on foreign aid and organizations like NATO. Anyone who thinks Trump’s YOOGE idea to scale back military spending means the US will be eating any less of the pancakes is out of their fucking minds. It’s all about cutting the already paltry amount foreign aid we give and withdrawing from NATO which I might add are two of the best engines for peace we have.

    • sw19womble

      Foreign Aid is pure pork barrel politics and arms deal sweeteners these days, but I agree totally about NATO.

      • Hairstrike Alpha

        It depends on where it’s being dispensed and how….it varies by nation. Some countries food supplies are purchased in part by foreign aid. Despots tend to convert it to military equipment and palaces but they are the exception, not the rule.

        • sw19womble

          Don’t get me wrong, used properly it’s of benefit and develops closer diplomatic ties, but these days it’s mostly just a boondoggle.

    • Msgr_Moment

      What the sequestering Rethugs have done to programs like the Fulbright program is unconscionable. (Disclosure: those fuckers (R’s) stole precisely $9k right outta my pocket.) Ongoing programs need to be able to plan ahead, even if (which is unlikely) moneys are eventually restored.
      The Fulbrights in particular, and the English Teaching Assistant program in particular are enormously popular abroad and attract matching funds in many of the host countries because they help weave these countries into the international community, especially through young researchers. (BTW I can’t recommend the ETA program enough for college-graduate-age youngns.) Best “bang” for the buck without actually exploding things, other than preconceptions.
      /shamelesspropaganda

      • Second on the bang for your buck. Not to mention that Muricans are seen as hawt by all the foreign babes.

        • Msgr_Moment

          So NOW you bloody tell me!

        • BeachBum

          Ooooh, now where did I put my passport ?

  • Msgr_Moment

    Don’t take Tallinn! They have such a wonderful Russian flea market where you can buy Soviet memorabilia quite cheap…..
    Hmmm. Maybe I should try another tack.

  • Grizz1y

    The longer this goes on the more I am convinced that Trump, like Putin, is a Bond villain. I am pretty sure that this campaign is just an elaborate scheme to steal all of the gold in Fort Knoxx, while Putin sits back and watches while stroking his fluffy white kitty.

  • anwisok

    Well, I know what song I’ll post up if Donnie wins.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0GFRcFm-aY

    • natoslug

      I was thinking Mayor of Simpleton, but on second thought, something from Fear might be more apropros. So, Foreign Policy or Public Hangings?

      • Maybe, 99 Luftballoons?

        • natoslug

          Nena isn’t painful to listen to. Fear is perfect for a Trump presidency — loud, spastic, and pretty much an empty parody of themselves by the second album.

      • DinkyBossetti

        Or “More Beer?”

    • bupkus23

      I sure wouldn’t be feeling fine…

      • I will once I get my Republic of Ireland visa.

  • Callyson

    This isn’t surprising, given Trump’s view of the world…

  • proudgrampa

    Hate to say this, but I think Michael Moore was right on Bill Maher last night: Trump stands a VERY good chance of winning this thing.

    FSM help us.

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      Eh, he’s still butthurt over his hair-combed-by-a-balloon boyfriend losing. Trump can theoretically win because it’s almost a given he’ll receive 45% of the vote. Unless Hillary is a complete idiot she should know how they’re going to go after her- she needs to address the “honesty” problem.

    • jmhm

      I wonder. He’s been getting the standard GOP reacharound from Fox, CNN, the AP, and the usual suspects, and even Quinnipiac is having trouble putting him ahead by asking the old white ladies to hand the landline to the man of the house.

    • pstockholm

      It’s not over till the orange man sings.

      • Can we get some of the proletariat to start shouting lock him up at the DNC next week?

    • Alan

      Nope. The 40% who are in the middle and usually decide elections are generally educated people who live in heavily populated states with large numbers of electoral votes and don’t participate in the whole charade before election day. The goobers in Utah can jump up and down all they want but they don’t decide anything. Until Trump wins over the normal people he has no chance. And you can ignore most polls. I think the most recent was Rasmussen who cold calls landlines, not much of a representative sample, and predicted a landslide for Romney. Well, it was a landslide among people who are home to answer a landline when they call but that didn’t turn out well on election day.

      • revenant

        what scares me a lot is Name Recognition- the squishy middle, the people who don’t pay any attention, could very well just go with the guy they’ve heard of as a TV star, instead of the constantly vilified and undermined woman

        • Alan

          Those are the crazies at the convention. It’s the in the middle educated people that I’m talking about. Everyone with above median IQ.

          • akryan

            It’seems not just the crazies. I have two aunts in FL that will vote for him. Both of them have advanced degrees and a lot of professional success. Both voted for Obama. People like them are voting Trump. Luckily their kids all abhor Trump.

          • Alan

            Could be senility.

      • proudgrampa

        Yeah, I heard about the Rasmussen thingy.

        Frankly, I do wonder where the pollsters get their respondents these days. It’s not like I’VE ever been asked! ;-)

    • DemmeFatale

      Naaaah. He won’t win.
      Think of this as Moore’s GOTV effort.

    • BeachBum

      He won’t win for too many reasons to list, but I know the media wants a horse race every 4 years and some will do anything to try and have one.

      • proudgrampa

        B-b-b-but at the beginning of this thing, it’s what they said about Trump himself getting the nomination!

        Just saying that there can be no apathy for Democrats this year. None.

  • bubbuhh

    Love the “Easier WWII splainer”

    • jmk

      It’s entirely superb.

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      Yeah, that’s a keeper.

  • There are a lot of native Americans who will recognize Donald Trump’s approach to negotiations and treaties. No wait, that isn’t true . . . they are all dead after the American government went back on its treaties and slaughtered them.

    • DesertedPictures

      So that’s when america was still great!

      • Back when white men were men and everyone else was their servants.

  • Iron Monkey

    It’s clear that Trump has been bought off with Moscow gold.

    • Methamphetamine would be cheaper.

      • SuspectedDemocrat

        Nah, he already has his Alaska Connection.

    • revenant

      doubt it. he’s so dumb he’s doing it because he envies and admires a real tough guy (under the bluster he knows himself to be a cowardly bully)

  • The economist’s ‘what if’ issue had trump winning the election due to a murky spy scandal – leaked Clinton emails that led to an Israeli – American asset’s death in a Geneva hotel room.

    • Boscoe

      Col. Mustard in the Library with the candlestick?

  • AngryKatie

    All the people assuming Trump was a secret shill for Hillary got it wrong. He’s a secret shill for shirtless Vlad.

    • Boscoe

      -If by “secret” you mean “brazenly right out in the open and unapologetic about it”… :P

  • Sardonicuss

    For a walking talking cartoon character – this guy Trumph really isn’t funny anymore.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      For me, he stopped being funny the first time a Trump supporter told me, “The rest of the world is quaking in their boots. Good!”

      • Sardonicuss

        He certainly operates as a good functional sieve for society. Separating out the percentage of people who are naturally servile, authoritarian and empathy free.
        If the overall economy, unemployment or any other of a host societal ills were just a little bit worse – he would have a legitimate shot at moving a few from the rational camp, into the nightmare scenario.
        His political timing is much like his business operation – misses by that much.

        • sw19womble

          Cruz did that yesterday too: “Think for yourself”
          “BOOOOO!”

          • Sardonicuss

            There was a video of him getting all huffy back when Drumph said mean things about his wife or something. That high pitched whiny voice making tough noises is hilarious!
            Oooh Ted, stop it …you so skeery!
            In hell, Hitler and Mussolini watch Drumph and nod in approval. They watch Ted and fall over in convulsive laughter!

        • BeachBum

          OT I think the same thing about Melania’s speech. They could have taken Michelle’s speech and just said all the same things in different ways with different words. No one would dare to criticize values of honesty and hard work, parents and so forth.
          Add a contrast of former communist country with America and it becomes a Grand Slam. Instead, she becomes a petty thief.

          • Sardonicuss

            Donald warned us about those damn “immigrants” coming in, taking our jerbs… stealing ect…
            He warned us! We were warned!

      • DemmeFatale

        That isn’t the sound of boots quaking, pal.
        It’s the sound of jaws hitting the floor.

        • SuspectedDemocrat

          I conceded that yes, the world is very afraid of Trump becoming President, I just fail to see how scaring the world like that improves my life.

    • BackDoorMan

      … so, he’s the ‘Cathy’ of politics?

  • Steven M. Harries

    As long as Trump defends Freedonia, he’s done all the American people can ask.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    So is he plagiarizing his speeches from Putin now?

  • AntiDerpomeme

    So, at least nuclear winter will balance out the effects of global warming, right? The polar bears approve of temperature moderation via armageddon, as they expect to develop radiation-enhanced super abilities, like flying and laser vision.

  • Blank Ron

    Does this really surprise anyone? Trump’s view is that a treaty’s like a business contract – something you negotiate in bad faith and abrogate whenever you think it stops benefiting you.

    • jmhm

      and amusingly, he wants the people he plans to screw to arm themselves.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Russia had tsar Peter III who was considered a moron due to his being far too chummy with arch-enemy Prussia. We have Donald Trump, has history repeated itself?

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      Well if you ask Trump’s official advisor on Prussian affairs…
      http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7n0t2pOcx1qcumozo1_500.png

    • Joshua Norton

      I always was firmly convinced that Prussia and Russia deliberately took similar sounding names just to make World History class much more confusing than it already was.

      • SuspectedDemocrat

        Iran and Iraq fought an eight year war over that very same issue!

      • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

        Prussians are blue, Russians are red.

        • Biff52

          And the only good ones
          are the ones who are dead.

          See? Pomes are easy!

          • Boscoe

            But you forgot “Burma Shave”.

          • Biff52

            Well, the Burma Campaign was more an England vs China front of the next Great War.

        • Hairstrike Alpha

          I’m not touching that….I will not find that neo-Nazi girl group and post. Nope, not going to do it- that would be the moral equivalent of making people watch “A Serbian Film”.

          • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

            I watched that a few months ago. The word “disturbing” took on a WHOLE new meaning. Luckily, I had read about its history and a detailed synopsis before hand so I was a little prepared. But Jesus Fucking Christ!!! You can never get those images out of your head. But I now wonder if it was not only a metaphor for what happened to Serbia but a prophecy of what Trump and his sociopaths would do to America.

          • Jamoche

            At least those kids quit when they grew up and realized what their parents had gotten them into.

    • DesertedPictures

      Well: The US can actually choose it’s leaders. You would expect that would make something like this impossible.

      • BeachBum

        True, and this is not the Weimar Republic, I don’t think. I hope not.

    • revenant

      as long as Putin is no Freidrich II
      and his adulation of Prussia was far from the only issue with Peter, whose behavior in general made Herr Drumpf seem a model of sanity and decorum; even in an age and place that made a LOT of allowances for aristos, Peter stood out as way over all the lines

  • Joshua Norton

    Of course, now Manafort is reverting to type and trying to claim that the NYT misquoted Trump about NATO. NYT will be publishing the interview transcript to prove him wrong. But as we all know, even direct quotes are mean spirited “gotcha’s” as far as the wingnut mentality is concerned.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      Typical liberal gotcha question. Trump thought the NYT was asking if he would pay for the nachos, when he had hardly eaten any!

    • Reddishrabbit

      Apparently they also taped him. Damn that John Barron impersonating Trump!

    • jmhm

      I think maybe Trump has that Dan Quayle thing where his handlers explain whatever bullshit obfuscation they’ve come up with to try to justify their policies and he can’t quite wrap his mind around it and ends up blurting out what they’re really thinking.

      • SuspectedDemocrat

        Potatoe, potahtoe…

  • Andre

    You should see my polls in Moscow. YOOOGE. They love me bigly. It’s great, fantastic numbers. St. Petersberg and Pyongyang, too.- Deliriumonald Tremensump

    • pstockholm

      Raqqa too.

  • Gonna be needing a lot more Bosch this campaign season.

      • Thanks. Bosch and the Bruehgel are wonderfully weird.

      • Gregory Brown

        Frikin’ Dutch people are the bomb. Best people in Europe, and clearly crazy. One of my friends has a Dutch friend who maintains a store/museum in Holland devoted to “Elvis the King” (full title, never just “Elvis.”) National sport? Speedskating. During WWII American GIs met Limeys, Frogs, Krauts, etc. but the people they loved best and were loved back by, were the Dutch.

      • revenant

        that was brilliant. thanks

    • In other news Alcohol and porn stocks are booming.

      • BeachBum

        You can buy porn stocks ? Buy order of 100 shares of….. wait.. uh…heh,heh,….nevermind.

      • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

        Stocks, shackles, ball gags…you name it.

  • sadboy

    Donnie, if you’re going to be a world leader, you’re going to have to understand that you’ll face a lot of problems that cannot be resolved by a team of bankruptcy lawyers bailing your ass out of trouble. Fucking over NATO allies is not going to help you sucker more investors into paying for your ugly golf courses in Scotland.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Fortunately, he’s never going to be a world leader or even a natural leader. Hell, he can’t even run a casino without tripping all over his dick.

      He can run con game but even there his luck seems to be running out.

  • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

    Let’s see, he wants to leave NATO and he has expressed his admiration for Putin and Kim Jong Il. And Reaganites just love this guy? “Mr. Putin? Rebuild that wall!!”

    • Don’t forget Stalin and Hussein.

      • miss_grundy

        And Hitler…..

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    “Nice little treaty alliance you’ve got here, Colonel. Be a shame if it got…broken.”

    • You know what would be super awesomeness – a GOT parody at the star of the DNC with Hillary as Danerys, and trumpkin as one of the naked slavers.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Hah. Christie as the Mountain and the notorious RBG as Tyrion.

      • I’ve never seen GOT. Are the naked slavers eunuchs?

      • miss_grundy

        I would rather have him be the slaver set on fire by the dragon….

  • anwisok

    I’m trying to make some kind of sense out of how people can still support him. He is now on record saying that, under him, the official position of the United States of America would be that our word is worthless. Allies cannot count on us, and enemies can run free, as long as they don’t directly confront us. How do they possibly see that as good for anyone, including us? What nightmare scenario do they envision with Hillary as POTUS that would be worse than that?

    • Behold a pale horse.

      • Wee Mousie

        Or perhaps Lord Voldemort is sustaining his life at the expense of unicorns, again.

    • Biff52

      But Melania Michelle said his word is his bond!?!?

      • jmhm

        Could be. His bond is no good either.

        • Wee Mousie

          Not to mention his handshake, his contract, or his antiperspirant.

    • cgthegeek

      Hillary will let the Black people rape White women and sell our kids drugs while all those illegal messicans take our jobs and the mooslims force you to wear a hijab under shaira law and kill all the white babies with her abortion mall. Duh!

      • revenant

        your average male RWNJ has a Castration Complex that makes John Irving’s obsession look like a fleeting twinge

    • nick kelly

      And what if enemies slip us a few bucks?

      • anwisok

        You mean, our new allies?

  • Astraea
    • Astraea

      Did Disqus stop displaying tweets again?

      Annie ‏@Anniefromkansas 23m23 minutes ago

      Maybe nations who “haven’t paid their bills”, in Trump’s Nato, cd just file bankruptcy in lieu of pymnt like Trump has done so many times.

  • I just figured it out. Trump LLC just but a huge amount of stock in this bioengineering company that makes a serum that transforms people into mole-people. He’s trying to drag us kicking and screaming into the time machine!!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0r9u7Rn-nm0

  • diogenez

    The SAME Donald Trump who is famous for shirking his own financial obligations?

    • Good point! The Baltics just need to declare bankruptcy and Donald will have nothing to complain about.

      • Wee Mousie

        They also have to stick Germany and France with their debts. Then the resemblance to The Donald will be complete.

  • OneWhiteWhisker

    “Though he said, “I would prefer to be able to continue” existing international agreements, Trump later explained that “this is not 40 years ago.”

    YES AND THAT’S A GOOD THING YOU PAUNCHY DORITO-FACED MOTHERFUCKER.

  • AnOuthouse

    We don’t even need a time machine to kill the next Hitler. We have votes.

    • jmhm

      Truly, it is a time of wonders. We get to take out America First before the world war starts.

      • anwisok

        And even prevent the World War. Maybe.

  • BeachBum

    Trump is running for Top Mob Boss. Extortion on NATO is just bizness, nuttin’ personal.

  • Astraea
    • jmhm

      That keeps disappearing for me. Is it this?

      • Astraea

        Yes, I don’t know wtf is up with Disqus today

        • jmhm

          I know. I keep reminding myself that somewhere up there, there’s a monk who died of old age at thirty with failing eyes and carpal tunnel rolling his eyes _so_hard_ that I’m all pissy about that.

          But I still am.

        • sw19womble

          Thank fuck – I thought it was my poor laptop’s death-rattling.

        • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

          This?
          Which is so brilliant, BTW!

          • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

            No, that’s not it either.

  • jmhm

    Now trending…

    • Pierre_de_Fermat

      Yes! I have been having no luck with Twitter. How did you do this?

      • jmhm

        I’m afraid I cheated and uploaded a screenshot.

  • Jenny

    I’m feeling bigly smart for picking up those accelerated Russian language courses on Udemy during their dollar course sale!

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Say, do you know who ELSE promised to ignore and abolish standing foreign treaties after he was elected?

    • jmhm

      Rutherford B Hayes?

    • sw19womble

      John Adams?

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      Baron Vladimir Harkonnen?

      Darth Vader?

    • Marsupial99

      Eric Trump?

    • Enfant Terrible

      Ben Carson?

    • Poe’s Law

      My cousin

    • Longstreet63

      That one guy. You know, Bill? Or Willy, maybe? You know him: totally used a different set of weights and standards?
      Yeah, he was a dick.

    • Alexander Stallwitz

      Could it be… SATAN?

    • Dick Cheney?

    • phoenix00

      Foghorn Leghorn?

      Cruella de Vil?

  • Poe’s Law

    Just one problem, Mr. Trump

    Article VI paragraph 2

    This Constitution, and the Laws of the United States which shall be made in Pursuance thereof; and all Treaties made, or which shall be made, under the Authority of the United States, shall be the supreme Law of the Land … [emphasis added]

    • WIDTAP

      Trump only said he would defend Articles I, II and XII, not Article VI – so there!

    • beavertank

      I’m sure he has many lawyers telling him that doesn’t mean what it clearly means and his idiot plans are brilliant and will succeed, because sometimes a lawyer needs a paycheck and they never expected their being yes-men to allow things to escalate this far.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Lawyers needing paychecks might look up the sad cases of the lawyers stiffed by none other than Donald Trump.

    • Longstreet63

      Pfft. If we start going by that, we’d have to make torture illegal.

    • Wee Mousie

      That’s like the Constitution, just words written on paper. They don’t actually mean anything.

      • Poe’s Law

        “E plabnista…”

    • phoenix00

      That’s not Two Corinthians

  • Recipriversexclusons

    Xi Jinping, Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong-un, Recep Tayyip Erdoğan and others are SALIVATING at the thought of a Trumplethinskin foreign policy.

    • Hey! You named all of Trump’s favorite leaders!

      • phoenix00

        Mao Tse Tung and Nicolae Ceaucescu would be proud.

    • Wee Mousie

      Genghis Khan says a few kind word about The Donald and America is offering him top secret armaments and military advisors, but let someone in Monaco opine that his system for winning at roulette is shitty, and Drumpf is deploying tactical nukes.

    • … Turkey is a member of NATO. Why is Erdogan on that list?

      • Platos_Redhaired_Stepchild

        Erdogan has delusions of Putin-dom.

    • “Trumplethinskin” Thanks! I think I’ll be using this all the way to November…

      …hopefully not beyond. :-(

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    Its rather tellling that Trump is using America First, he was asked not to by the ADL by the way because of the history of Antisemitism attracted to it.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      But the Pro-Defamation League won that argument.

    • Pierre_de_Fermat

      I did not know he had been asked not to use it. This guy is bringing some of the worst elements into his campaign.

  • Florida Farmer

    The MMORPG gif of WW2: standing ovation to whoever did that. It’s brilliant.

  • bookish
    • Wee Mousie

      The party of Lincoln at Gettysburg: you can’t get rid or me. you really really can’t get rid of me!

  • hendenburg2
  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Manafort is now lying and claiming that the NYT misquoted Drumpf. Unfortunately for them, the NYT basically said “fuck you, Manafort” and released the transcripts

    http://www.nytimes.com/2016/07/22/us/politics/donald-trump-foreign-policy-interview.html?_r=0

    • Reximus

      Donny sure gets mis-quoted a lot

      • Khavrinen

        Everyone mis-quotes Trump. Even Trump.

        • revenant

          he just can’t get an even break. poor widdle Donald

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Especially Trump.

      • ViveLaRes

        Two out of Two Corinthians agree: using a Republican’s own words against them is Satan’s handiwork.

      • Wee Mousie

        That tends to happen whenever you report exactly what The Donald says instead of waxing rhapsodical about the bluebirds and butterflies which frolic in the honeysuckle fumes wafting from the great man’s ass.

        • MrCanoehead

          Upfisted for imagery.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Has anyone in history had a more ironically opposite last name than Manafort?

      • Dudleydidwrong

        Needs one moar “a” in his name in place of the lonely “o.”

      • nick kelly

        With two crises in less than a week ( the speech- then NATO) Manafort may have a breakdown before November.
        Remember the docu about Palin’s run ( made with the help of her actual campaign manager) when her personal aide just says Fuck it and throws her cell phone at the wall?

    • Occam’s 8 ball

      come on, let donald be donald!

  • diogenez

    Wow. When you’ve lost Crazy John Bolton….
    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/john-bolton-trump-nato

    • Pierre_de_Fermat

      Not completely. Of course he’ll vote for DT in the election because Hillary is eeeeevul. Some neocons have jumped ship, but most seem ready to ride it to the bottom.

  • I wonder if Trump will turn this on the states. Want disaster relief Mississippi? Well, have you actually paid your share of money into the federal treasury?

    • ahughes798

      Well, the blue states actually foot a lot of the bills for the red states, so that would be a big NO.

  • Malachi

    Trump’s speech tonight: ” For score and seven years ago, I asked not what my country could do for me, but what I could do for my country. I have a dream, that all we have to fear, is fear itself. Here’s a story of a man named Brady who was living with three boys of his own, they were four men, living all together, yet they were all alone. Goodnight. God bless America, and live from New York, it’s Saturday night!”

    Donald Trump and his supporters are racist clowns who hate America. They defecate all over the constitution every time they open their mouths.

    Drumpf needs to rely on these big brain-washing rallies to garner up support. These bigots cannot fathom that a black man has been so successful. Obama has thrived in office.

    RECORD unemployment numbers, legalized gay marriage, 5% growth, best year for jobs since 1999, consumer confidence up, deficit down 60% in 2014, gas prices low, health insurance cheaper than ever ($85/month), car insurance cheaper than ever ($25/month from Insurance Panda), the 1% starting to be taxed more… all while white republicans bleated about Benghazi and took pointless votes to repeal the ACA.

    It turns out that Obama is indeed “the adult in the room,” and yes, the Chess Master. Trump, on the other hand, is a man who represents everything that’s wrong with this country. Yet, people will vote for him. The very same individuals who stand to lose the most. Wake up. He only cares about himself.

    • anwisok

      Hi, pandaspammer. Flagged.

      • Poe’s Law

        The opening was cute though, no?

      • starfanglednut

        How does this work? Does it aggregate commentary from around the web, insert a reference to insurance panda, and post in the hopes that people will google insurance panda?

        • anwisok

          Pretty much, yeah. There may be somebody creating the posts to match different points of view and make sure they go to sites where they fit – notice all of the ones here are anti trump. I’m sure WND et al gets an opposite post. ESPN sites get something tailored to them, etc. If its fully automated, somebody did a good job of coding, to be honest.

        • Querolous

          Maybe this is here Lori earns her $90 per hour.

    • doktorzoom

      Yay, fucking Insurance panda! Need to find out how they do this — manually composed, or stealing real comments and inserting the insurance panda sell in the middle, or…? Seems too organic to be entirely a bot.

  • sweeper

    @major major major major, I must have the WW II slide show splainer for my children. How can I get a copy?

  • Recipriversexclusons
    • anwisok

      Actually, no, I don’t see. Disqus is not showing tweets, for whatever reason.

  • Mirful

    There is no good reason why our armed forces shouldn’t pay for themselves.
    We could just send a couple of soldiers around to each country once a week to pick up a little payment. And for that payment we would be willing to protect that country so that they didn’t have any trouble or a fire in the back room or a strike or something like that.
    I seem to recall that this sort of thing worked very nicely for the Mafia. So, why wouldn’t it work for us?

    p.s.: For some reason this has reminded me of the man who owned a furniture store and was having a fire sale and someone asked him why and he said it was cause he couldn’t hire a guy to do a flood.

    • Swampgas_Man

      The guys being “protected” by Cosa Nostra didn’t have nukes. Now, we got nukes, they got nukes, Russia got nukes, all Gawd’s chillun got nukes.

    • phoenix00

      reminds me of the Roman Empire, when some soldiers pulled double-duty as tax collectors, the proceeds of which were forwarded to Rome

  • Wee Mousie

    “She made a mistake. people make mistakes, you make mistakes, they make mistakes, we all make mistakes, even I made a mistake when I signed up for the 2016 Republican Goat Rodeo, and now I’m stuck riding this goat while Pence is the scapegoat.

  • The Librarian

    Me: Trump will get us all killed.
    Friend: No, he’ll get our allies killed which in turn will leave us all alone.
    Me: Same thing, eventually.

    • Bear OmNomNom

      He’ll save Australia / Don’t wanna hurt no kangaroo…

    • Incoming Ham

      There seem to be a whole lotta people in this country who don’t think further than a platitude.

      • cat cafe

        Oh, there are a whole lotta people in this country who have absolutely zero idea of foreign policy or even domestic policy outside of their small rural area of their state.

        • Incoming Ham

          Good point. I keep forgetting that I am an “Elite.”

    • WIDTAP

      Look, Grandpa and his WWII medals are dead and buried. Why should we have to worry about wars expanding to our shores anymore? Besides, learnin’ is hard and I flunked history class.

  • Incoming Ham

    Slightly O/T but I am hoping that the Moldy Mimosa will go off script tonight. Please Please Please

    • ahughes798

      Even more off-topic is, wasn’t it great to see John Stewart and Steve Colbert again this week. Makes me realise even more how lame their replacements are.

  • anwisok
  • kaydenpat

    It should be abundantly clear that Trump is dangerous and shouldn’t be anywhere near the White House come November.

  • nick kelly

    Let’s see- not paid up means no defense. Which is kind of what a mercenary would say. And by extension maybe if you pony up enough cash- we’ll defend you even if you’re not in NATO.
    I get it- the US military won’t just be run as a business- it’ll be a business!

    • MrCanoehead

      Gee, nice country you gots here. Shame if somptin’ happened to it.

  • phoenix00
  • The United States and its allies in Western Europe formed NATO in 1949 to contain the Soviet Union. NATO was defensive in nature. In 1990 , in return for a promise from Soviet leadership to not oppose German reunification, U.S. Secretary of James Baker promised NATO would not expand into Central and Eastern Europe. This was a lie; every U.S. Presidential Administration from 1990 onward, both Republican and Democrat has violated Baker’s promise. Lithuania’s membership in NATO is a consequence of this lie. U.S. men and women must now face the prospect of being killed or maimed to defend a country whose membership in NATO is arguably contrary to both the spirit and purpose of the alliance. So is Trump a bloviating fool to question defending it or is he a clever but devious politician obliquely raising a legitimate issue?

    • Dr. Strangelove’s Child

      He doesn’t know what you’re talking about. Now, yes, NATO has probably expanded too far, and we learned that lesson with the Georgia and Ukranian conflicts.
      Russia is and always has been a nation of paranoiacs, with some justification. They’ve been the road to invasion from the East for millenia, and they see themselves as the guardians of the West from the evils of the East. They have a legitimate interest in having a sphere of influence, and we’ve crowded into that sphere, and now they don’t have the buffer zone they feel they need.

      I get that. Expanding NATO was poor judgement. You could say that it led directly to Putin’s rise.
      But that horse has already left the barn. We are where we are, and for Trump to say something like this is about as far from Presidential as you can get.

      He made Europe less safe today. He made America less safe today. Even if he loses by 400 electoral votes, because the World knows that there are people in positions of power in this country who think that way.

      In other words, it was a really really REALLY fucking stupid thing to say.

    • Lazy Media

      NATO promised that to the Soviet Union, which ceased to exist and released a vast population of formerly captive ethnic groups. No, that is not a legitimate issue; it’s the sort of bullshit raised by Putin’s legion of Internet trolls. NATO is still defensive, it’s just defending people who were trapped behind the Iron Curtain in 1990.

      • Ahh,…how exactly does one get “trapped” behind the Iron Curtain when the Berlin Wall came down in 1989 and the USSR voluntarily dissolved in 1991?

    • WIDTAP

      “U.S. men and women must now face the prospect of being killed or maimed to defend a country whose membership in NATO is arguably contrary to both the spirit and purpose of the alliance.”

      Yeah, who are we to give a shit about Germany, Poland, Spain, Turkey, Greece or the Czech Republic. They were not in NATO in 1949!

      It’s time we focused on our real friends, like Iceland and Denmark.

      • WIDTAP: In response to your well reasoned and literate response to my Comment I offer the following quote concerning a U.S.Senate vote to expand NATO from the late George Kennan:” I think it is the beginning of a new Cold War. I think the Russians will react quite adversely and it will affect their policies. I think it is a tragic mistake. There was no reason for this whatsoever. No one was threatening anybody else. This expansion would make the Founding Fathers of this country turn over in their graves. We have signed up to protect a whole series of countries, even though we have neither the resources nor the intention to do so in any serious way….See: “Foreign Affairs; Now A Word From X” ; New York Times; May 2; 1998 by Thomas Friedman; http://www.nytimes.com When I posted my comment I did not realize I would face criticism from someone such as yourself who knows more about foreign affairs than the architect of America’s post World War II containment policy. Again my humblest apologies.

        • Smokahontas

          I didn’t want to butt in above…I’m going with bloviating fool, based on history. I’ll buy the next round if anyone can dig up evidence of anything clever he’s done beyond hiring skeezy accountants and lawyers.

          • What do they say about a hundred broke clocks and a hundred typewriters being right twice a day? That’s Trump. Or is Trump a blind squirrel?

      • Smokahontas

        But what did the forefathers intend?
        Nevermind, I’ll go ask them.

        ~A. Scalia

        • pat tolle

          @Smokahontas- Whatever makes you believe that Antonin is in any place to talk to the daddies?

    • Rickyphoo

      “U.S. men and women must now face the prospect of being killed or maimed to defend a country whose membership in NATO is arguably contrary to both the spirit and purpose of the alliance.”

      Yeah, we need our men and women to be ready to be kill or maimed in the continuous bullshit wars in the middle east.

  • The crack Trump State Department, hard at work…or the Trump State Department, on crack, at work?

  • Borosilicate

    Mmm, the Easier WWII Splainer made my day! Nice!

  • Dr. Strangelove’s Child

    Okay, this is getting really really real now. This is a real bullshit statement that will have immediate and direct implications to our foreign policy. It’s not funny any more.
    Article 5 of the NATO charter and the doctrine of collective defense is THE foundation of our military and foreign policy.
    This maroon thinks that “Strategic ambiguity” means letting your potential enemies think that you could do ANYTHING.. No, it’s not. Holy shit…

    • ahughes798

      North Korea does it quite nicely.

      • Smokahontas

        Reminds of all the pintrest “nailed it”s.

      • TheBoatDude

        True. You never know when they’re going to fire a missile 300 yards into the ocean…

      • Sakonyachen

        Which is why they are so far ahead of the rest of the world. .

  • Last Hussar

    Stop criticising Trump. He is going to have the best defence policy. The absolute best. The best men are going to work on it, so America is going have the best military, absolutely the best. They are going to be winners, and other countries will see America has the best, all winners, with the best generals. America is going to stop underspending on the military, and spend more. America isn’t going to be a weak country anymore- with Trump as CinC the US will once again have a more powerful military than China and North Korea. Its going to be the best

    • eyelashviper

      We will be so tired of winning, it will be just exhausting.

  • Smokahontas

    Whatever happened to the League of Nations again?

    • ohwelp

      It was an all white league so it was disbanded.

  • TheBoatDude

    Is there a point when candidates get real advisors on the campaign?

    • ohwelp

      Pinky and The Brain have got him this far…

    • eyelashviper

      Trump doesn’t need no stinkin’ advisors, he’s got a yuuuge brain, and he watches the Sunday shows…what else could anyone need to be leader of the Free World?

    • Sakonyachen

      Yes! Yes there is! But only for real candidates.

  • eyelashviper

    Trump’s got the answers, he’s just not telling….other than bomb em and take their oil..

  • Zhu Bajie

    I think some people need to enter rehab to get over their addiction to American Exceptionalism and Cold War propaganda. Since about 1950 it is we Americans who have made the world a hellscape, killing vast numbers in places like Viet Nam, El Salvador, Iraq, Afghanistan, etc., etc.

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