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Wonkette Made America Great Again.
Wonkette Made America Great Again.

Oh hi from Cleveland, Wonkers! Tuesday at the RNC was a total Tuesday, by which we mean we were tied up half the day dealing with a weird thing that happened (we’ll tell you this weekend or something) and didn’t really get going until we were sitting at the hotel bar and ran into a nice pal from Fox News:

greta

From there, we hit the big BuzzFeed “Red, White and Blacklisted” party, where all the liberals and other assorted mean journalists who ask actual questions of the Trump campaign were gathered. But something must have taken a darker turn in the eleven minutes we left to contemplate going down to Sad Banned Milo’s homogays for Trump party. (“Should we go?” “Meh, Ann Coulter is probably bathing in a tub of cocaine and regret in the corner if she’s even still there.” “That could be cool!” “We should go back to the BuzzFeed party.” “Pam Geller is wearing RAINBOW SEQUINS, though.” “We should go back to the BuzzFeed party.” That was those conversations.)

We rode back up the elevator — with Andrea Mitchell, who was not getting hammered at BuzzFeed, just staying in the hotel — and the second we walked in, THIS was happening:

BuzzFeed’s Washington Bureau Chief John Stanton was wrestled to the ground by security at his outlet’s own party at the Republican National Convention, a party with a theme celebrating blacklisted reporters. […]

[F]ormer New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani … created the most drama. Giuliani, drinking a scotch neat and smoking a cigar, was leaving the party with his giant entourage when Stanton tried to ask him a question.

According to several witnesses, security — which was heavy while Giuliani was around and included men in bulletproof vests — wrestled Stanton to the ground near the elevator banks. It’s not clear whether it was hotel security or Giuliani security who pulled Stanton down.

Yeah, it happened really fast, security was bitchy as hell, all the assorted blogging heads were like “whoa hey whoa hey,” etc. We missed Giuliani entirely, and all we can report from that moment is that MSNBC’s Chris Hayes, who was getting the fuck out of there the same time we were, is way taller and hotter in person than you’d ever imagine.

Afterward, we met some really nice guys who were wearing Make America Great Again hats, as a joke. They let me wear their Make America Great Again hat too, and we’re pretty sure America is officially Great Again, on account of our hat-wearing.

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  • Beowoof14

    Did you need a Silkwood shower to get all the republican cooties off?

  • CapnFatback

    They let me wear their Make America Great Again hat too, and we’re pretty sure America is officially Great Again, on account of our hat-wearing.

    If hat wearing is magic, I blame hipsters for Making America Douchey Again.

  • Señor Skwerl King

    America is great again thanks to you Evian!

    • willi0000000

      kind of a watered-down compliment there.

  • Beanz&Berryz

    So our wonker in Cle is rubbing elbows with other big name journalistas, and politicos nose around journalista fiestas and go all “threatened” when one gets uppity and asks a question… Damn… There’s way more drama going on there than I could have imagined…

  • CapnFatback

    Looking forward to the 11 Things that Went down at Buzzfeed Party listicle.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      It’s not nice to call people “things”

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Post edits makes reply posts nonsensicle!

      • CapnFatback

        What? These were my original words! I wrote them myself, the first time; they’re the best. Terrific.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Oh well just damn… You were supposed to write what I thought you wrote, which was about “things that went down,” in which case my joke made at least some sense…

          • CapnFatback

            Okay . . . waitaminute . . . *ahem*

            Gee, I can’t with to see the “11 Things that Came, Went down and Moved in and out at the BuzzFeed Party” listicle!

  • Ima Witstüp

    All sounds kind of tense and creepy. Wash your hands often.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      If only for the actual norovirus floating around…

      • Cheeto Virus.

      • AngryKatie

        The high school down the street from me had an outbreak last year, and kids were puking everywhere. It hit most if them during the school day, and it was nuts. I actually saw one girl throw up on the friend trying to help her get to the train, which made the friend throw up.

        Is it wrong to hope for something similar to break out on the convention floor, say during Trump’s Speech?

        • revenant

          it would be more appropriate than applause, certainly

        • Gleem-McShinez

          It is wrong! Don’t you care anything about poor viruses? Imagine being trapped inside one of those gross grunting hollering wingnuts?

        • Beanz&Berryz

          It would be a fair hope. Seeing as so many of us not there will be doing the same thing.. for different reasons…

          I volunteered at a big multiday event with a couple thousand people, outdoors, staying in tents, when a norovirus outbreak hit. I respect that little fucker… And I stayed healthy… just being one to be trying to help others…

          • AngryKatie

            After several hundred teens spent an aforenoon throwing up all over 9 or so square blocks, I’m right there with ya. And I wash my hands WAY more now.

  • Joe Beese

    Hot line-up tonight: Laura Ingraham, Pam Bondi, Scott Walker, Newt and the current Mrs. Gingrich. Capped by Little Marco and Lyin’ Ted!

    • Crystalclear12

      What is “title of new drinking game”?

      • Just drink it. Every time someone says something you drink. By the end of the evening they might even appear to start making centz.

        • Lizzietish81

          Do not play with James O’Keefe or Bill Cosby

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I think I may go ahead and crawl in a hole. Ain’t no way my serenity could hold through a lineup like that. Unless it were a police lineup.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Urgh. The amount of vodka I will need to consume to watch that might be inadvisable.

    • The Wanderer

      Hokey smoke! Will they let Cruz out of his barbed wire and bamboo tiger cage?

      • data_ninja

        I’m kind of picturing that velociraptor cage from the beginning of the first Jurassic park.

        • revenant

          let’s take stock;
          Reptilian? check
          Carnivorous? check

          yep, that’s Our Ted!

  • Callyson

    “John was reporting and asking the mayor a question, which resulted in a misunderstanding with hotel security,” a BuzzFeed spokesperson said.

    Say, you know who else had a misunderstanding with hotel security?

    • Lizzietish81

      The dwarves from Wizard of Oz

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Roger Ailes?

    • Rick Hill

      Ben Carson?

    • bubbuhh

      He wuz loungin in hiz luv sweet in the Parkside Hotel…

    • Ima Witstüp

      Keith Moon?

    • Msgr_Moment

      Lynyrd Skynyrd and that jailbait in Boise?

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    O.T., but NPR is doing an in-depth piece on Latino Trump supporters. I mean, fuck me, why don’t they do a story on, I dunno…. albino trans midget percussionists? There’s probably more of ’em, and it’d be a fuck ton more interesting.

    • anwisok

      I dunno . . psychopathy can be interesting.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Yeah, probably so. If they’re US citizens, it’s just gonna be “I got mine,” the oldest conservative stance there is.

      But if they’re not, then that might be interesting. Kind of like a schizophrenic is interesting for a few minutes.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        The ONE Latino Trump supporter I am personally aware of is the owner of a Mexican restaurant. Since she got her name splashed all over the local news during Trump’s campaign stop here, her business has essentially evaporated. Free market’s a bitch, yo.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      How can they possibly be any more interesting than, say, the fifth-generation toothless wonder here in Kentuckistan living in a shack who hasn’t been to a doctor in fifteen years, who votes R because “mah daddy wuz a Republican”? I mean, it’s the same stupidity, just cloaked in a hue a little darker than the mouthbreathers’.

      • Grizz1y

        That Kentuckistani probably has so much coal dust ingrained in his pores that he is the darker one.

    • Blank Ron

      Should be easy to do something in-depth. There’s only what, three of them?

  • bubbuhh

    Notice how Evan tries to hide his face under that hat? Very slim shady! ;)

  • Lizzietish81

    I am disappointed that there are no pictures of the Sad Gay Party. What kind of Journalist are you Evan?

  • Murica. Murica. Murica. The best damn country in the world. Make Murica great again….

    • Oblios_Cap

      Except that Merica is apparently an Apocalyptic Hellhole these days, what with Bams having lowered gas prices too much.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Part of me would be interested to see what the reactions would be to Evan wearing Wonkette’s “Truck Fump” t-shirts, but the grown-up part doesn’t want Evan to get beated up.

  • AntiDerpomeme

    Evan was also in the book depository bathroom when Kennedy was shot, and was out taking daguerreotype pictures of hawt Austro-Hungarian footmen when Archduke Franz Ferdinand was assassinated. Coincidence?

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

    • Lizzietish81

      He was also Deep Throat

      • Blank Ron

        Oh, hell, we ALL know that.

        • proudgrampa

          Old news, amiright?

          • Virginia Vazquez

            <<o. ✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤:::::::!bc915p:….,….

          • fellatio LIBELZ!

    • Msgr_Moment

      I won’t believe it till Bill-O verifies it.

    • The Wanderer

      Pshaw. I’m told that my great-uncle was out hunting in the woods near Lakehurst when the Hindenburg did the big firework. Just a coincidence, nothing to see . . .

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Well, to be fair, he was there right after those things happened.

  • timpundit

    I always thought Hayes was kinda hot.

  • SnarkTank

    Tuesday at the RNC was a total Tuesday, by which we mean we were tied up half the day dealing with a weird thing that happened

    I hope he was cute, and you played safely.

    • dslindc

      Indeed. Always have a safe word when getting tied up.

      • Suttree

        Mine is Bananarama.

        • BackDoorMan

          … try saying that with a ball-gag in your mouth. It can’t be done – or so I’ve heard.

  • anwisok

    Oh, dear . . . Evan’s networking with the bigwigs. What if he gets his Big Break to go to MSM and never comes back to Wonkette? (I mean, good for him if he does, and all, but . . . poor Wonkette!)

    • crisptickle

      Wonkette is the MSM!

    • As I understand it, the only way to get a break in the MSM involves red hamburger dick, and our Evan is only involved with a much higher class of dick.

  • Msgr_Moment

    Evan,
    Have you picked up one of these yet?

    • therblig

      Don’t Tempt Fate

    • Tio_Doidinho

      Oh dear mother of God. That’s what those are.

      They don’t even bother to check Urban Dictionary??

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        apparently not!
        . . . but I just did. The thought of the two combined makes me doubt I’ll ever be in my bunk again.

    • revenant

      needs an “M”

  • Msmlg1979

    My job is so boring. I never get to wrestle anyone to the ground, even when I want to.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      You need a second job…

      • Msmlg1979

        Nooooo!!

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Well, then you’ll just have to add tackling to your current one.. or just you list of hobbies.

          • Msmlg1979

            I don’t want to work with the public anymore, so I’m thinking alligator wrestling would be a good career path.

          • revenant

            there are certain similarities, to be sure

          • Notreelyhelping

            I knew an actress from Alaska whose resume included “salmon sliming” under her Special Skills. So there’s that.

          • proudgrampa

            Salmon sliming?

            Tell me more…

          • Notreelyhelping

            I think it has something to do with females and eggs and salmon. And slime. Beyond that, I didn’t want to know.

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            If you don’t want to work with the public anymore, you could apply for the Heritage Foundation’s National Minority Outreach coordinator position.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Alligator wrestling might not be all that different from working with the public… about the same, in some ways…. but there’z other better wrestlingz to do… if not as a job…

        • Rick Hill

          America is a wonderful place. You can even have 3 or 4

    • Loki3404

      And with that attitude you never will.

      • Msmlg1979

        It’s “frowned upon” in the finance business.

        • You can wrestle them to the ground . . . . . with dollars!

    • HogeyeGrex

      Well, I could swing by maybe Thursday, if you want.

  • Treg.Brown

    I just come here for all the pics of Evan.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Gotta look at something when we don’t get our daily dose of Wonkbabby

  • Man, do I really have to wait until next summer to get one of those hats at a garage sale?

    • SnarkTank

      Nope, you’ll find ’em cheap on Nov. 9th.

      • Msgr_Moment

        In Burkina Faso.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Look great with that “Golden State, 2016 NBA Champs” shirt.

          • Suttree

            And those Romney/Ryan 2012 t-shirts.

          • SterWonk

            As an SFBA-er, that hurt.

            (Well played.)

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Sorry…first thing that came to mind.

      • Yeah, not a lot of garage sales up here in Canadia in November :P

        • SnarkTank

          They’ll be $0.10/hat on eBay. Shipping will cost more than the hat.

    • Oblios_Cap

      They’ll probably ship them directly to third world counties.

  • Tansy greenpeas

    Someone in another thread inquired about Guiliani’s eye looking bruised or something, any connection? It’s never irresponsible to speculate.

    • Sardonicuss

      He just hadn’t quite finished his makeup yet..

      • revenant

        it must take a lot of pancake to ensure that he will be visible to cameras and in mirrors

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Are the Undead able to bruise?

          • revenant

            probably just an optical illusion- his eyes are so hollow in that deaths-head visage that it looks like he’s wearing eye shadow, or had his face punched (a consumation devoutly etc.)

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I’m assuming he walked past a mirror, saw the “please punch me” sign pinned to the back of his shirt, and gave it a shot.

    • Suttree

      Gloryhole at the 95th street stop on the R train?

      • Tio_Doidinho

        How curiously specific.

        • Lizzietish81

          It’s where I live.

        • Suttree

          There is actually a bathroom at that stop. It is scary like one of the Saw movies scary!

  • The Wanderer

    When will the Trumpanzees have their Hat Party? And whose will be the grandest of all?

    • Treg.Brown

      Hurray for head lice!

      • The Wanderer

        Thank you! I now have the great Cheech and Chong routine Les Morpions playing in my head.

      • Suttree

        15 years ago when my niece was 6 she got lice. I offered to shave my head as well as hers. She didn’t buy that, I had to spend hours with a lice comb instead of minutes with a razor. :( Smart kid.

        • Treg.Brown

          So far I’ve been lucky about head lice but one of my dads worried CONSTANTLY about me getting them when I was a kid. He had head lice several times when he was a kid (he grew up on a farm in Tulare CA) and got red-faced mad when I shared hats with my friends.

          • Suttree

            I’ve been lucky and have never had head lice. I got scabies once when I lived on the 3rd floor of a bar in the French Quarter, but I also used to find 8 balls randomly dropped on the floor.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Not the kind you shoot pool with, I’m assuming.

  • Joshua Norton

    tied up half the day

    Yeah. Been there, done that.

  • Astraea
    • Msgr_Moment

      To be fondly reenacted on “How I met Your Hoosier Daddy”.

    • bubbuhh

      “RNC bitch boy” and “beefy hairy RNC visitors” seem like running gags to me Even if I were gay, I’m pretty certain I would not be intrigued.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Not arrested yet, Evan? They musta sent the hot cops home.

  • Daisy

    Giuliani WOULD do something like that.

    • Msgr_Moment

      So did Evan call 9-11?

      • The Wanderer

        DRINK!

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    All I want to know, Evan, is this: Is Kirby Delauter there?

    • Gleem-McShinez

      You can’t say that! What if his agent or settler hears you?!

  • Malmborg Implano

    I can’t believe you didn’t mention the protesters attacking each other with squirt guns full of pee!

    • Hutch

      Dear lord. Were they throwing flaming bags of poop at each other, too?!?

  • Oblios_Cap

    Who is the girl in the picture? I don’t watch Fox.

    • Rick Hill

      Idk. The blond one….

      • Daisy

        That’s aot,k.

    • The Wanderer

      If it’s Greta Van Susteren, don’t tell Guy Le Douche. he has the hots for her.

    • The angry, hate filled one. Also, too, possibly the only one Roger Ailes didn’t sexually harass

      • Oblios_Cap

        That doesn’t tell me much.

      • Sardonicuss

        There is a stury..that Megyn got another ex-faux talking barbie head to depose all over Roger. Having never watched the most trusted news source..wondering. Who could this be?

        • Bill Slider

          Shepard Smith would be my guess.

          • Sardonicuss

            He’s still there. This is another gurl who fled.

          • Notreelyhelping

            You just fucking made my morning.

      • BadKitty904

        WHICH “angry, hate-filled” one?

        • Sardonicuss

          Greta, the one who really really wants to cuddle with Sarah.

          • BadKitty904

            Dude, I just ate lunch, OK?

        • Biff52

          The Scientologist one.

          • BadKitty904

            WHICH “Sci…”… Oh, never mind.

    • Hutch

      *Animal from Stalag 17 voice* “Who you callin’ “girl?”

      • The Wanderer

        Great arcane cultural reference. Upvoted.

        • Hutch

          *Bows* Thank you, sir!

  • I Only Like Cats

    I had to look up Chris Hayes and my immediate reaction was “Eeeeh? He’s OK, I guess.”

    • BadKitty904

      OK, now you’ve gotten me curious…

    • BadKitty904

      Eh. Not a stunner, but looks like “husband” material.

    • sadboy

      Must be the glasses. The Sexy Librarian look.

  • SnarkOff

    Worst party ever.

    • Rick Hill

      Wife’s friend talked us into going to some thing, it was held at a Holiday Inn or something in Chicago. Turned out to be some Amway type thing. Anyhoo, walking to it there was some type of 30 year reunion or something. Buncha 55-60 year old folks on the dance floor, getting down(sic) It was…a cringe inducing thing to watch. That’s about what I think going to republican after convention parties are like…even the ones with the younger republicans getting down.

      • Biff52

        There used to be a Holiday Inn on Sepulveda Pass in LA with a revolving restaurant on top. If I didn’t have enough cash money to take a girl out, I’d take them there because I could put it on my gas card. Talk about class.

      • SnarkOff

        Please tell me the DJ was playing “Celebrate” by Kool and the Gang.

  • chascates

    Did you ask Greta if she fucked Roger?

    • Señor Skwerl King

      Evan is more tactful than that. He’d ask her if she ever ate raw hamburger.

    • jmhm

      Don’t you think accepting extensive plastic surgery is intimate enough?

  • Sardonicuss

    Will there be a
    “I went to RNC and all I got was this bad case of chlamydia” T-shirt available?

    • Crystalclear12

      Next to the “all I got was norovirus” shirts

    • LesBontemps

      “I went to RNC and all I got was this bad case of chlamydia norovirus

      FTFY.

      • Sardonicuss

        Everybody will get that. Chlamydia is for the special.

      • OneYieldRegular

        “I went to RNC and all I got was this bad case of being beaten up by Rudy Giuliani’s thugs.”

  • Lefty Frizzell

    This portrays Rudy as The Penguin.

    • BadKitty904

      Burgess Meredith would prolly be a better mayor. On the other hand, “Rudy Cobblepot” does have a certain ring…

  • Msgr_Moment
  • TheGrandWaz00

    Oh, Evan, can this really be the end
    To be stuck inside of Cleveland
    With the Memphis blues again

  • jmhm

    Good to see that Giuliani’s great love for getting other people to pay for shit is strong enough to drag his ass into a party thrown by a news outlet his candidate has banned.

    Also, per CNN, a woman named Meredith McIver wrote Melania’s speech, and she told Trump about it and offered to resign while his surrogates were fanned out denying it.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Love to see him running for President with the same discipline and attention to detail he brings to his businesses.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Rudy brought fucking security with him to drink scotch? What an arrogant, delusional pile of shit he is. Dude you were a fucking MAYOR like 10 years ago, not the president.

    • BadKitty904

      No word on what dress he was wearing? There were bugle-beads, weren’t there?

    • Notreelyhelping

      If he could make it there, he could make it any….

      Actually, not so much.

    • Rick Hill

      Everything changed…on 9-11….

    • Iam Reading

      His ineptitude created dozens of openings for first responders.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      The Scotch Whisky Association do try and protect the image of our national drink. I don’t think they’ve gone as far as hiring hitmen though.

    • calliecallie

      President of New York City. Is there any other city?

    • He’s had an entourage for like 30 years – probably doesn’t know what to do when he’s alone, and sleeps with a night-light, you know, terrorists under the bed.

  • Indiepalin

    Rudy’s been dipping into the “non-fat yogurt” again.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Evan must have missed all the mass rapings going on by the godless liberal protestors, roving gangs of them out for Trumpite blood…..I watch Fox News, I know what’s going on!

    • iceweasels

      Oh he noticed. He just won’t admit it because of the goddamned LIBERAL AGENDA!!11!!

    • BadKitty904

      Liberals may be godless, but we’re not blind – have you SEEN tRump supporters?

      • Hairstrike Alpha

        We can’t help ourselves- without strict ass paddling Jesus and god in our lives we compulsively commit crimes. Saul Alinksy thanked Lucifer…LUCIFER! A REAL GUY WHO LIVES IN THE MANTLE! They got to you, didn’t they?

        • BadKitty904

          “Fat, conservative, and crazy is no way to go through life, son.”

      • cheetojeebus

        That fella’s got some wood.

        • BadKitty904

          Hope they don’t use that wood in the cook-stove, is all I’m sayin’…

      • ViveLaRes

        Needz moar shootin’ irons.

        • BadKitty904

          Hey, we’re only half-way thru Day Three…

      • Hairstrike Alpha

        Hey, where did you get that picture from? I was told the pictures from my last family reunion had been lost!

        • BadKitty904

          A few photos survived the earthquake and subsequent fires…

  • BadKitty904

    Evan, you look underwhelmed in that pic.

    • Sardonicuss

      It’s Greta, she probably has his arm twisted out of frame to make him take the selfie.

      • Rick Hill

        Greta? It looks more like Nancy Cartwright.

        • BadKitty904

          And/or Hoss…

      • BadKitty904

        “Get up, Hurst. People will think you’ve never been socked by a dame before.”

        • Sardonicuss

          “Gay, schmay, your ass is mine now blogger boy!” – Greta

          • BadKitty904

            Talk about your Fate Worse Than Death – “boy-toy to Ilsa, the She-Wolf of Faux News”…

  • Bill Slider

    Sounds like good times, good times. Has Donald Trump instructed the Secret Service and the General of the Air Force that he wants his name stenciled one letter at a time to the outside of the pull down shades on the windows of Air Force One. He has to have his name prominently displayed on his airplane. it will be an Executive Order if necessary.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    You would think that journalists asking questions were waving AR-15 in the faces of cowardly chickenhawk shit like Rudy 911.

    Well, I guess they are.

    • Sardonicuss

      Just surprised Buzzfed didnt have better security to keep riff raff like Rudy and goons out.

      • BadKitty904

        That was my first thought – “Say, what’s that smell? Dammit, WHO LET THAT TROLL IN?!?!”

        • Sardonicuss

          The could have just hung a cross on the door, or a garlic wreath or two.

          • BadKitty904

            I’m told a line of salt works, too. Plus has the added advantage of making Ailes shrivel up if he tried to crash the shindig.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        I can’t imagine that BuzzFeed imagined in their wildest dreams that serious conservadouches would come to their party, so why be worried about it?

        • Sardonicuss

          There is a BF writer who is pretty convinced he humiliated Donald into running with piece he wrote a few years back. It’s pretty funny really.

  • Donkey Option

    Wait – was Giuliani smoking a cigar inside a hotel bar? If so, he should have had the crap beat out of him with votes. Nothing is worse than a cigar being smoked indoors. I don’t care if it’s legal in Cleveland, but fuck anyone who does that crap.

    • Logic of Color

      I agree about smoking those things indoors. And I smoke them myself occasionally — outdoors of course

    • OneYieldRegular

      As Sigmund Freud once said, “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but most of the time, especially indoors and during the Republican National Convention, it’s a pathetic symbol of male inadequacy.”

    • Iam Reading

      Fuck them with their lit cigar

      • phoenix00

        “It turned out real good last time I tried that”
        – Bill Clinton

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    I still can’t….what kind of fucking asshole brings personal security with them to drink Scotch? What did they bring a covering and tell everyone that Rudy doesn’t want anyone looking directly at him? Dude, you’re an ex-mayor and a fucking teevee personality. I just can’t…this fuckin’ guy.

    • jmhm

      That’s a real interesting point, because getting local security provided is one of the things Giuliani has in his contracts for paid speaking gigs.

      • Hairstrike Alpha

        Yes because everyone on Earth wants to assassinate a fucking ex-mayor and an epic fail presidential candidate. Christ he’s even more of a douche than I thought he was and that’s really saying something…

        • jmhm

          But it brings up another question: how much is Giuliani being paid for this?

          • Villago Delenda Est

            He better have gotten the payment up front, or he’s screwed. Which would peg my Schadenfreude meter.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      They had to turn all the mirrors to the wall as well.

      • Hairstrike Alpha

        Well yeah because count Orlok cannot be seen in mirrors

  • dslindc

    But were there any more hot police officers?

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    OT looks like the Drumpf campaign has found a scapegoat for the Melania mess- someone no one (so Donnie doesn’t have to fire any of his paper thin campaign staff) who “accidentally” wrote down parts of the Michelle speech read to her by Melania while on the phone together. I’ll be patiently waiting for the drumpf campaign and various flacks to apologize for all the name calling and Hillary blaming and angry shouting about how there was no plagiarism…

    • jmhm

      And they’re saying she told Trump about it right away.

      And, Wolf Blitzer just said it was innocent and understandable. David Gregory dragged him over a few miles of country road, since Manafort and Spicer were lying just like they say Hillary should go to jail for.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        It’s amazing how all the talking heads are ready to send this down the memory hole

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Leslie Blitzer needs a high tumbrel manifest number.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      May be a long wait, Zip. Here’s a copy of “War and Peace” to keep you entertained.

      • jmk

        That won’t take up nearly enough time – I’ll get Les Misérables ready for afters.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      That’s OK then. For a moment I thought there had been some sloppy speech writing and incompetent speech vetting.

    • It’s not much of a scapegoat. First, apparently Melania loves Michelle Obama. Secondly, she read the writer the Michelle quotes, and then didn’t notice when they were verbatim left in the speech? Seems like Melania then knowingly committed plagiarism, since she was the source and didn’t care that they were in the speech she read.

      Lastly, none of this explains the million of excuses, from My Little Pony to blaming Hillary for being anti-woman, that have been given the last few days.

      The big lesson from this is that Trump is terrible at crisis management. And this was such a tiny thing that should have disappeared in hours. Because of the Trump/s incompetence (remember, he hires only the best), this has continued and will continue for the entire convention. Imagine if this was something big, like him bombing Italy or something?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        I get that the speech writer might not have purposefully plagiarized. But your point is accurate- shouldn’t Melania have recognized those words?

        • Exactly. It seems to make Melania primarily responsible for the whole thing, not the speech writer. She loved the words. She should have notice that she was using them without attribution.

          • But she’s a furriner so what would she know about the plague,er plehg…The bigly problem should be if she lied on her citizenship app re her college degree from Slovenia, “the land that modern dentistry forgot”.

    • JustDon’tSayDittos

      I’m ready for this bullshit to be over on both sides. Policy, people! It’s about policy! Planks in platforms, like doing away with the National Park system (srsly?) Get Trump into a flame-war over policy, and watch his credibility dry up like the dog turd it is.

      *drops mic*

      Sorry!
      *picks up mic, dusts it off, puts back on mic stand, slouches away*

  • Tio_Doidinho

    So did you score with Greta?

    • Sardonicuss

      She did “things” to him. Unspeakable things….

      • Yet, somehow, you can call it a hunch, I’m sure that Evan will speak of those things this weekend. Stock up on brain bleach at the discount store of your choice.

        • Sardonicuss

          That permanent death rictus smile of hers…brain bleach indeed.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Ewwwww

    • borninatrailer
  • TJ Barke

    Should have been a Make America Grate Again hat. You can’t tell me they’d know the difference.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    I wonder how much money the male prostitutes in Cleveland will make this week….

    • Villago Delenda Est

      New Acuras for everyone!

    • Nounverb911

      AOT,K?

    • BadKitty904

    • chicken thief

      However much it is, it isn’t enough.

  • Nounverb911

    Donnie’s giving up firing for Lent….

    https://twitter.com/nypost/status/755807315777945600

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Well, what did you expect, really? It’s all Hillary’s fault in the first place.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Remember, these are the same people who raked Clinton over the coals for not having all the answers about Benghazi within hours of it happening- half a world away in a remote outpost. Yet these fucking hypocrites couldn’t even get their shit together and come up with the truth about this for a day and a half without putting out dozens of conflicting excuses and lies and angry denunciations. Nice leadership there, Donnie boy. Crisis? You couldn’t even manage this tempest in a teapot without completely fucking it up…

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Typical. This entire convention has been nothing but amateurs displaying their incompetence from day one.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          Such utter fuck-ups- yet they freely criticize others for not having every last detail right during a REAL crisis, not some self inflicted screw up. Turns out being a real leader and being able to manage fast moving events in real time is a lot harder than it looks from the sidelines. Once again Trump gets a test of character and leadership and he utterly fails…

        • Marion in Savannah

          Some brilliant soul over at Alicublog said the convention was like free jazz for bagpipes and bandsaw.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Throw in a drum circle and I’d agree.

          • mailman27

            Needz moar Sarah Palin on vocals.

    • 3FingerPete

      Wait…Melania didn’t write her own speech like they told us?

      • borninatrailer

        Even worse… Melania admires MOOCHELLE!

        How will the Trumpkins come to grips with this?

      • Cindyinencinitas

        Meredith McIver better hire a food taster.

  • HogeyeGrex

  • jmhm

    So maybe Manafort shoulda kept his mouth shut about Kasich, because Kasich’s people are leaking that he was offered the VP slot and turned it down.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Kasich wants to have a future in whatever is built on the ashes of the GOP.

      • jmhm

        I wonder if he’s popular enough to beat a well-funded Democrat if he gets primaried Trump voters won’t come out for him?

        • Villago Delenda Est

          This is one of the problems any Rethug faces. Tacking back to center in the general only gets you primaried by someone even more fascist than you are, as doing so displays you’re not “conservative” enough for the drooling slime that are the Teabaggers and Drumpfenproletariat.

          • JD Mulvey

            This never gets old.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      I don’t like Kasich and his creepy brand of religiosity wrapping most of the same gruel in softer tones, but at least he’s showing more spine there than the rest of the GOP top tier put together.

      • jmhm

        Kinda? I don’t see a downside for him, thiugh, and he didn’t speak up until after the floor vote and only because he was insulted.

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          It’s all about ego to these fuckwads

        • planning ahead for Kasich/Cruz in 2020

          • jmhm

            Ahead to the Past!

      • revenant

        let’s not get carried away- have you never seen a wake of vultures disputing the tastiest parts of the carcass? all same same

  • weejee

    Were things rolling for the Cleveland Steamers?

  • Villago Delenda Est

    That photo…just curious, Evan. Could you smell the latex?

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    I’ve seen some unlikely hookups come “last call” at the bar, but….

  • smr06va

    My god, what a dirty whore……………

    • chicken thief

      Evan or Greta?

    • yeah, I was wondering what “we were tied up half the day dealing with a weird thing that happened” meant too. Who knew Evan was into that?

  • JD Mulvey

    This is the Republicans’ new America: Every has-been has a mob of goons “protecting” him from all the other goons. Good thing it’s an open carry state. What could go wrong?

    • BadKitty904

      The GOP’s New, IMPROVED Dark Ages!!1!

      • JD Mulvey

        All our art, literature and science will be lost for centuries, but at least some of us will be safe behind stone walls in our black Suburbans.

        • BadKitty904

          At least until eaten by the starving peasantry…

        • AnOuthouse

          As soon as you load everything you own into the cloud, the power goes out. Luckily there is a castle full of monks in Ireland who made a backup.

      • dshwa

        Hey, when Trump turns the world into Shannara, at least we’ll have hot elf girls to oggle.

        • BadKitty904

          “Mordor” is more likely…

    • Zhu Bajie

      When your goons turn on you! Read up on the Praetorian Guards, the Jannissaries, etc., etc.

    • I doubt they fear actual violence; more likely what they fear is unscripted interaction in the age of cell phone video.

  • chicken thief

    OT, but does Rudy’s lisp get better or worse after a few scotchs?

    • Iam Reading

      The panties get tighter

  • OneYieldRegular

    Stanton should consider himself lucky for now. It’s just wrestling journalists to the ground before Trump gets elected. After he gets elected, journalists will likely get the Full Putin treatment.

  • Beanz&Berryz

    And, well, just to know… where was the MAGA hat made?

    • qadesh

      according to research, the hats are made by cali fame in california. apparently. which tells me never to purchase any of their products.

  • Duke

    Greatness through Hats!

    USA! USA! USA!

  • AnOuthouse

    Did that lady in the picture have to fuck Roger Ailes too?

    • Marion in Savannah

      EWWWW… Some of us are trying to digest lunch here.

    • Iam Reading

      Having a Love hate relationship with this comment

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Only with votes.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      Yeah, but he made her get a face lift, first.

      • revenant

        being shown the Ailes genitals would make anyone’s face fall

        followed by their stomach contents

  • Me not sure

    Did anyone get close enough to Giuliani to see if his upper teeth are false. I know everything that comes through them is.

    • Giuliani is truly amazing. I’ve been watching him for years, and he’s either batshit delusional or a very, very good actor. I’m going with delusional.

      • Me not sure

        Your Psychology PhD from Me not sure University is in the mail.

  • efoveks

    Evan looks fabulous in that hat, which just goes to show you: some people can wear anything and look good!

    I am thoroughly jealous and will STFU now.

  • Bad Granny

    Granny can relate to anyone who has the impulse to wrestle John Stanton to the ground.

  • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

    I haven’t met anyone in person who’s been wearing one of these hats but if I do I’m going to ask them, “Why do you hate America, huh? Why? Why do you hate America so much?”

  • Panika MCD

    I have a pretty big crush on Lambchop…Richard Engel also too.

  • Zhu Bajie

    I’ve never understood why people want to wear clothing with slogans, especially slogans that might as well say “kick the shit out of me!”

    • bbayliss

      As much as i dislike them I did see a woman wearing a T-shirt that said…
      I’M NOT WITH STUPID ANYMORE.

  • Snarky

    Evan, when you were standing right next to Greta, did your Gaydar go off?

    (It did, didn’t it? You can tell us – no one is reading this comments section which we are not allowed to write to…)

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