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Please enjoy this video of H.A. Goodman being extremely, painfully wrong, again and again, about the inevitable indictments to be handed down against Hillary Clinton and all of her staff for being the biggest email criminals ever, or at least second after whoever littered America with all those AOL disks during most of the 1990s. Nearly everything about this video is stunningly, impressively incorrect in its predictions, starting with the confident title, “CHECKMATE: Hillary Clinton Needs President Obama’s Pardon After FBI Indictment. Bernie Wins.” We honestly didn’t think anyone could ever rocket past Bill Kristol to the title of “most inaccurate predictions in a single text,” but H.A. Goodman may have just managed it.

Posted to YouTube just two days before FBI Director James Comey said the Bureau would not recommend to the Justice Department that Clinton be prosecuted, Goodman’s video explains why it was an absolute certainty Comey would call for Clinton’s indictment, because all the reasons. We like the bit where Goodman corrects himself, right near the beginning, from using a verb that wasn’t damning enough: “She spoke for — was interrogated for three and a half hours at the FBI building yesterday.” Goodman also keeps getting ahead of himself, explaining all the reasons “for the indictments” — which haven’t, and now won’t be happening. He confidently explains that Clinton and her staff are also going to be indicted for the many, many crimes of the Clinton Foundation, too. Boy, howdy, is Goodman ever confident:

The indictments are imminent. They’re imminent because if the FBI doesn’t recommend indictments, the entire planet will say that, you know what? The rule of law in the United States of America pertaining to the most powerful politicians is — is one standard for Hillary Clinton and another standard for everybody else. The FBI is not going to be remembered — for generations! — as the law enforcement agency that caved to an overtly corrupt politician named Clinton … Rest assured, the honorable James Comey and the FBI will recommend indictment for Hillary Clinton.

Goodman follows this up with some speculation about how Barack Obama might just go ahead and pardon Clinton before the Justice Department can prosecute her, because the fix is in, and “Hillary Clinton knows that she’s going down, the FBI is going to take her down. She knows this.” But once she’s indicted, which she will be, she’ll stay in the race, and then at the Democratic Convention, Bernie Sanders will “make a strong passionate case” for the nomination which he earned by getting fewer votes (IN A RIGGED SYSTEM!!!), and then Bernie will get the nomination. Everyone knows this except brainwashed Clinton supporters, duh. And then after she hands the nomination to Bernie, Barack Obama may or may not step in and pardon her. He might not, really, since he actually hates Clinton for all her racism in 2008.

So, now that none of that has happened, H.A. Goodman is claiming victory, because of course he was vindicated by everything James Comey said, except for the part about the indictments, which is now merely a distraction from the main point, which is that Hillary is guilty, guilty, guilty, and the FBI said so, just not in a way that involved any recommendation to prosecute:

goodman tweet 2

So apart from her ever being prosecuted, Clinton may as well show up at Leavenworth to begin serving her sentence right now, and Bernie is President! Then Goodman posted a new video to explain exactly how right he is, and he is not at all put off by brainwashed Hillarybots saying he was “wrong” about the indictments:

Simply because Hillary used her brainwashing and corruption to not go to jail doesn’t mean that she’s not going to jail. And Bernie Sanders will never concede. Even the “state-run Washington Post” agrees with Goodman, and the fight is just beginning. Probably in America’s comments sections. Also, has anyone checked to see if Walker Bragman is OK?

[YouTube / H.A. Goodman on Twitter / YouTube again]

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  • ClarkJoe

    Just a reminder, “vindicated” and “vindictive” are two separate words.

  • Nounverb911

    Who’s HA Goodman? Is he the guy that died in the finale of Roseanne?

    • Latverian Diplomat

      I think you’re thinking of Roseanne Barr’s career.

  • Spotts1701

    “So because the thing I wanted to happen did not happen, that means I was right!”
    Um, what?

  • coozledad

    He sure sweats a lot for a guy who drinks Robitussin.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      His problem is he huffs it.

      • Gleem-McShinez

        Buttchugging, but with spraypaint?

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Isn’t there an app that provides a scrolling screen of your text so you don’t sound like an absolute idiot (aside from the content) when the camera starts rolling?

      • coozledad

        I think he’d be a more effective communicator if he wore a leather hood with a zipper across the face.

        • Rachel Book Harlot

          And a whole lot prettier.

  • Vecciojohn LLC

    Calling Nelson Muntz.

  • FauxAntocles

    Um, dude, how many people in the Reagan or Bush Admins were prosecuted for their crimes? Don’t get your panties in a wedge over a few emails.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Oh come now. It wouldn’t be America if people didn’t freak out more over a few careless emails than over a genuine fascist running for President.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      The Rule of Law is dead. We have one set of rules for Hillary Clinton, and another set for everyone else, with the exception of everyone in the Bush Administration who freely and openly admitted to violating US and international law by ordering torture of prisoners.

  • ClarkJoe

    You know who should feel vindicated? All of the people that kept saying “This was a mistake and shouldn’t have been done and was clearly stupid, but there was nothing illegal going on and therefore an indictment will never happen.”

    In other words, I bet the Hillary campaign is feeling pretty vindicated today.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      As good a summary of this farce as I’ve heard.

    • coozledad

      And CNN, NPR and Fox are relieved that Comey gave them a few non-sequiturs to roll around in their mouths for a few months. It was getting uncomfortable for them having to discuss why the Republican party’s dicks all swing Nazi.

      • ClarkJoe

        “See, the FBI ‘indicted’ her professional reputation, which is all we’ve been saying would happen, so we’re totally vindicated.” Comey knows how this game is played. Gotta give ’em some small victory to grasp onto, otherwise they’d become an even bigger nuisance.

        It’s like when a parent tells their child, “Sorry, you don’t get to have candy before bed, but since you insist I’ll let you have a glass of water instead.”

  • Lefty Frizzell

    Never heard of the guy before, but he doesn’t sound too tightly wrapped to me.

    • Jeff in the desert

      tightly wrapped in a straight jacket…

  • ClarkJoe

    The use of CAPITAL LETTERS really shows how SERIOUS and THOUGHTFUL and CORRECT he is. TRUTH

    • OneYieldRegular

      HA!

    • Dudleydidwrong

      CAPITAL PUNISHMENT (er, I mean LETTERS) is/are the mark(s) of an honest man. A GOOD man at that. He says so himself.

      • coozledad

        AUTHOR!

  • Astraea
    • Latverian Diplomat

      “And I thought I was in denial.”
      — Bernie Sanders

    • ClarkJoe

      4 points up in an average of polls is pretty much the definition of what we’d consider a blowout in modern presidential elections. Same with keeping 4-12 point leads in all polls for several weeks in a row.

      Someone actually pays this dude for political analysis? (Yeah, I know, they pay him for the click bait…)

  • OneYieldRegular

    “Indictments? I ain’t got no indictments. I don’t need no indictments. I don’t have to show you no stinkin’ indictments.”

  • ManchuCandidate

    When you wish upon a Bengahzi
    Makes no difference if you’re the FBI
    An indie mentioned that you wish for
    Won’t come truuuuuuue…

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “If you think about it, there was no outcome that could have proven me wrong. That’s how right I was.”
    — H.A. Goodman

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    I have no idea who this is, and judging by how unhinged he seems, I’m glad.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      I never watch CNN, and the only thing I watch on MSNBC is Rachel Maddow, and I’ve never heard of this guy, so that should tell you something.

    • Bad Granny

      He doesn’t even seem to have a page on Wikipedia.

  • Nounverb911

    In other WTF news, the Georgia courts are allowing the KKK to “adopt” a highway.

    https://twitter.com/WSJ/status/750375462434668544

    • cousin itt

      Is the racist scumbag on the far left afraid his dick is going to fall out?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        You can’t blame him…something that small will be difficult to find.

      • Assumes dick not in evidence.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Highway to where? I thought that Hell was in Michigan.

    • Suttree

      Guess what stretch of highway in Georgia will have the most garbage bags dumped out on by passing motorists.

    • arglebargle

      Georgia may want to workshop their state slogan, or motto or whatever it is on that sign in the background. Friendly people my ass.

    • The Wanderer

      They’re using the wrong hand. Can’t these assholes get anything right?

      • Suttree

        It’s Georgia! They are backwards.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Heil Hickler.

    • PubOption

      It had to have a concrete surface. They wouldn’t care for blacktop.

    • Insert ‘White Trash’ joke here:

      • therblig

        i see 3

      • Gleem-McShinez

        Roadside Trash vs. Itself

    • Celtic_Gnome

      My father-in-law was asked to adopt a highway, but he found out it goes both ways, and he’s just not into that.

    • thenearesthippie

      Thanks, Obama.

    • Justno

      It’s the price we pay for ensuring the 1st amendment applies to everyone. If we prohibit speech we think is awful (no matter how awful it is) it’s not much of a fundamental right.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      They look superior, don’t they?

  • cousin itt

    HA! Goodman you suck.

    • anwisok

      I doubt he’d be any good at it.

  • Scooby

    Wow, I hope she’s as good a president as she is at orchestrating elaborate conspiracies.

    • coozledad

      It was Hillary’s people who convinced Putin that the way to pull the still beating heart out of the West’s ribcage was to write checks to Donald Trump and Nigel Farage.

      it’s her boldest move yet. The cleanup has to be perfectly timed. Putin, stabbed by his own poison umbrella, Farage’s “suicide” after being implicated in another Tory orphanage sex-slave scandal, and HA Goodman screaming “NOT INSANE!” as he’s wheeled into Walter Reed for his lobectomy.

      EDIT: Sorry, i just remembered it is not possible to have two lobectomies. Back to storyboard.

  • Msmlg1979

    To anyone who still wants to yammer on about how unfair this is..

    Would YOU think it was just peachy to be indicted for a crime for which no evidence exists that you committed the crime, or even that any crime was commited?

    No? I didn’t think so. Now shut up.

  • Beaumarchais?

    I’m sure HA Goodman has much better evidence than the FBI’s two-year multi-million dollar investigation could possibly have uncovered.

    • Msmlg1979

      As do random people on the internet. Hope is the same as evidence now, apparently.

      • Dudleydidwrong

        Evidence=facts
        Hope=Republican operating system

    • Latverian Diplomat

      The point is, he’s courageous, as opposed to all those guys with guns and legal authority to arrest people.

    • JMP

      But he really, really wanted it to happen. Why won’t the FBI take HA Goodman’s feeling into account?

  • (((JustPixelz)))

    Mrs Pixelz sez “Judge” Napalitano on Fox “News” has repeatedly said it is 100% certain Hillary would be indicted.

    • The Wanderer

      Napolitano needs to go back to harassing hookers.

  • Tendernob

    I get it. If my candidate’s main strategy was keeping his fingers crossed that his opponent would go to prison, I’d be mad, too.

  • Arse Grammatica

    “Contradictions”. “Being “wrong”” — obstacles for small minds.
    Great minds understand that CAPS LOCK = TRUTH

    • (((JustPixelz)))

      you’re right. the last part of your comment was the most believable.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Sometimes. something is so false it circles back to truth again. Did I JUST BLOW YOUR MIND?!”
      — H.A. Goodman

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “All this investigation and no salacious details. Disappointing.”
    — Ken Starr

    • Grokenstein

      “I can’t fap to this.”

      • Latverian Diplomat

        “Sadly an SMTP Server is not a butler who brings you your Sadistic Midget Trannie Pr0n.”
        — Ken Starr

        • Beaumarchais?

          That sounds so hawt… (sound of frantic googling)

          • Querolous

            ☺☺

    • Now I’m craving one of those Zaxby’s “Salacious Salad’ deals.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    What a gullabull. What a maroon.

  • janecita

    The mold in his mommy’s basement must be eating away at brain. Poor man sounds unhinged.

  • anwisok

    I know it’s been said before, in many variations, but seriously! If Hillary can “brainwash and corrupt” her way out of an FBI investigation that proved criminal conduct, why the FUCK would you want anyone else representing the country?

    • The Wanderer

      You’re absolutely right. Nothing will stand in our way.

    • Beaumarchais?

      Meanwhlle, Trump can’t stop a lawsuit overseen by a Messican judge.

    • Grokenstein

      “He looks like someone I’d like to have a beer with.” — the average voter’s criteria

      • Relativicus

        So 2012. Today it’s “He says all the jackassy things I’m thinking, but know better than to say out loud.”

        • SnarkTank

          “He really speaks to my inner bigot!”

          • chimichanga

            Bigot spigot just lets it flow.

    • Lamashtar

      I know! She could force Putin out of office, make Saudi Arabia grant women equal rights, insist that Israel be nice to Palestinian Muslims, etc. I want to rule the world!

  • Nounverb911
    • The Wanderer

      (chuckles) I’m sure they’d like to.

    • cousin itt

      Fortunately, the GOP replacement for the FBI are already on the job.

      • DoILookAmused2u ?

        Needs more wings on them.

      • Reddishrabbit

        Too productive and intelligent. But the poop throwing is a good fit

  • elviouslyqueer

    He really should change his Twitter handle to “WrongyMcFullofShit”

  • AngryBlakGuy

    We honestly didn’t think anyone could ever rocket past Bill Kristol to the title of “most inaccurate predictions in a single text,” but H.A. Goodman may have just managed it.

    …c’mon Karl Rove is on the Mt. Rushmore of shitty and inaccurate predictions

    • Sir Checkmate

      And who can forget Dick Morris? His predictions game me many laughs on long, lonely nights.

  • Ambignostic

    “She spoke for — was interrogated for…”
    Why don’t these YouTubers know that you don’t have to always use the first take?

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Wouldn’t have helped. The cue card had “spoke for was interrogated for” written on it.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        I want to know if the cards actually said, “I’m finally getting to my point,” seven minutes into a fourteen minute video.

      • Querolous

        “sigh”

    • Celtic_Gnome

      They were all in the same communications class with Sarah Palin.

    • Creepoman

      It wouldn’t have that same batshit crazy, spittle-flecked intensity on a second take.

  • Where are all the ‘Full Moon’ selfies Bill regularly sends her and her co-workers?

  • Ezio

    “Better hope Bernie becomes nominee, or else Trump wins”

    And your anti-Hillary conspiracy rhetoric will probably lead to handing him the election on a silver platter. I will never understand these Bernie bros. At all.

    • Callyson

      Bernie Bros
      U
      T
      T

      Hillary Haters
      U
      R
      T

    • JMP

      Can’t you how Shrillary Clinton is completely corrupt, and still refuses to act like a real President and have a penis? That’s what the Bernie Bros are thinking.

  • Sardonicuss

    Hey, on Gwaker and Jez she was “Grilled” for 3 hours!”
    ….get it. Because it was around the 4th?. ..and she is a brisket or something?

  • Relativicus

    What did ol’ HAHA have to say about the rule of law and the recent USSC ruling in favor of Bob McDonnell not being thrown in jail? I’ll bet Goodman really let him have it, didn’t he?

  • doggiedaddy

    HA HA HA HA HA HHASKDHH HA HA HA
    POOT FART HA HA HAHHHA HAHA
    FREAKING HA
    #gopNOBODY
    http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WiKilZmnsWE/UfPk6qHvB5I/AAAAAAAAN9o/LZ_mwd_iREA/s1600/peter-griffin-laugh.gif

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Geeze, I forgot about all those AOL disks! They were everywhere!

    • Caepan

      At least the AOL floppies could be erased and used for something useful back in the day.

      Plus the AOL CDs made for good coasters on my computer desk.

      • david green

        I still have a bunch around here somewhere. I have no idea why.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Put an AOL CD on a thick stick or dowel, set it on the floor, and you have the world’s best cat toy.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Game over, man! Game over!

  • Creepoman

    H.A. seems to be lobbying hard to be FEMA Camp prisoner #1.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    What a maroon

    CHECKMATE THIS!

  • ClarkJoe

    Joan Walsh is rolling in her grave (because she wishes she were dead).

  • Angela Ruzzo

    The entire planet?????? Does he think they care about Hillary in Borneo? How about Tierra del Fuego?

    • Sardonicuss

      Bushmen in the kalahari will screech in impotent outrage. Outrage!

      • Creepoman

        Uncontacted North Sentilese tribesmen are saying “you know what? The rule of law in the United States of America pertaining to the most powerful politicians is — is one standard for Hillary Clinton and another standard for everybody else.”

        • Sardonicuss

          ! tklitik! I know…..but didn’t the goat turn out succulent today?!

          • Creepoman

            I haven’t seen my travel companion all morning, but lunch was delicious.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        This would make a good Monty Python skit.

        • Sardonicuss

          “I say..(pokes server with pipe) you seem to be missing a “rule of law” there old chap!”

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Very good! I was also thinking of a version of “Dead Parrot.”

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “This is not what I meant by the Gaia Hypothesis.”
      — James Lovelock

    • thenearesthippie

      I’ve heard that the penguin population of Tierra del Fuego is quite political.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Why didn’t he just say “the entire universe.” Then we could have a funny Conehead skit on SNL.

  • OddMan

    “The sun will start rising in the West, I guarantee it. I have figured it all out.”
    >Sun rises in East<
    "See, that proves me right."

    • cousin itt

      Actually, it does rise in the West on Venus.

      Hey, wait a minute.

  • dshwa

    Al we found out is that the State Department’s protocols for email and servers, which Hillary and others including Condi Rice’s top aids and Colin Powell all followed, were terrible. Which we already knew before the FBI investigation. So, we learned nothing. Just like a BENGHAZI committee.

  • ClarkJoe

    HA Goodman cannot fail. He can only be failed.

  • SammyDEEEEEE

    I’m sorry, I was told never to listen to talking thumbs.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Hey Goodman, Bill Kristol called to commiserate. He says he knows just how you feel…

    • Reddishrabbit

      Always being right is very hard.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        And yet, they make always being wrong look so easy.

  • Callyson

    HA HA GoodOne thinks he is vindicated because the prosecutor said there was no evidence. OK then…

    http://memesvault.com/wp-content/uploads/Hysterical-Laughing-Gif-13.gif

  • PubOption

    Good Man, Bad Woman – the yin and yang of wingnuttery.

  • Suttree

    OT: Is anyone else having problems with their disqus? Like actually going to the disqus page and it won’t load or if it does load will only show things from hours ago.

    • Sardonicuss

      Yep …all morning. On multiple browsers.

      • Suttree

        Thanks, I wasn’t sure if it was just me.

        • The FBI is searching through all of Hillary Clinton’s old potty language Wonkette posts.

          I wonder what her username was . . ?

          • Sardonicuss

            reb

          • Suttree

            Weedlord Bonerhitler?

          • Sardonicuss

            My hero!

          • bobbert

            Nah, that’s politicalcat. I’m pretty sure he’s not Hitlery.

    • thenearesthippie

      Yup. I blame Hillary.

      • Reddishrabbit

        DISQUHZI!!!!!1!!!!!1!!!!!1!!!!
        PRE-IMPEACH NOW!!!!1!!!!!1!!!1!!

    • Callyson

      Hi ShyPixel–I haven’t had this problem but you might want to check this out. I say hi to Rebecca and Donna Rose!

      • JMP

        It’s happening at other Disqus using sites though, so I doubt there’s anything Shy can do about it.

        • Sardonicuss

          Yes.It is a disqus Fubar. Different browsers on different sites.

    • JMP

      My notifications have been exactly the same all day.

    • OddMan

      Yep, all over the place.
      I blame the GOP right wing nutters, cause they are so butthurt over Ms. Clinton actually not doing treason.
      IT’S ALL TRUMP’S FAULT!!!!!!

  • Msmlg1979

    Can we move on to indicting Disqus for complete suckage now?

    • Relativicus

      I think the Clinton news done broked the system.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      We can prove negligence, but not intent.

  • Me The People

    All news is good news for John McCain.

    • Noah Johnson

      Wait why? Did I miss something?

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Headline:

    US Chess Federation Lashes Out at Ongoing Abuse of ‘Checkmate’ by Idiots

    • Suttree

      They should be forced to stay in a padded room with Bobby Fischer for a week.

      • dshwa

        He’s dead, so that really would be cruel.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          A coffin is kind of like a padded room.

        • Skadi

          Careful…I hear if you say his name three times, he appears.

          • Latverian Diplomat

            Then he says either “Pawn to King Four” or “Death to the Jews”. Or sometimes both.

          • Suttree

            “We are all pawns to the Jewish cabal!”

          • Msgr_Moment

            Mmmm…. canned prawns.

          • Suttree

            You monster!!!111!!! I have actually eaten canned escargot and I liked it. You can buy the shells separately and re-stuff them also, too.

          • david green

            I don’t care what you call them – they are still snails and I damn well ain’t eating them!

          • Poe’s Law

            All the more for us, then

          • david green

            No, that is Kirby Delauter you are thinking of.

        • Serai 1

          How can you be sure?

          • dshwa

            Who, Bobby Fischer? Iceland announced his death a few years ago when it happened

          • Lamashtar

            Oh, so you believe the official line now? Besides, how can he die when he’s immortalized in song?
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MfalfT1Iqmg

          • dshwa

            “Pity the Child” is one of the greatest rage/fuck you songs ever.

        • Gleem-McShinez

          Maybe they can ride his corpse to escape, like a jetski Swiss Army Man!

  • JMP

    I would have thought better from someone with the intellectual consistency to support Ron fucking Paul in 2012 and Bernie Sanders in 2016. It’s almost like he doesn’t give a shit about actual policy at all, but just tearing down the system, man.

    • Callyson

      Also too, this bears repeating:

      • Msgr_Moment

        Ummm… you left out the apostrophe in “bears”, Cal.

        • Serai 1

          I see what you did there.

  • Me The People

    When Hillary becomes President, this also too will vindicate HA Goodman, because he will know that she deserved to not win.

    • Astraea

      It will just prove that she cheated!

  • The Other Tim

    This guy talks funny.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      If that’s the only thing you think is wrong with him, you need to slow down and pay attention.

      • doktorzoom

        This guy talks funny and STUPID. There.

    • Sardonicuss

      But does he have “a purdy mouth”?

  • Ulricii

    I stopped viewing after the statement that Trump gave $100,000 of his money to the Clinton Foundation.
    Trump never gave $100K to anyone, ever, in his entire life.
    Game Set Match.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    H.A. Goodman reminds me of William Miller and the 7th day Adventists- sure the world not ending when Miller said it would only proved how right he was!

  • Pugsandcoffee

    Tinfoil hats look terrible on lefties.

    • Serai 1

      Especially when they fold them into those stupid trilbies.

  • Johnnymoreno

    Yep. She fell right into your cunningly laid trap HA-HA! Well played Sir!

  • Any BroTrolls show up in here yet? I’m bored at work and could use a larf…

    • Suttree

      Not yet. We probably have to wait until after 4:20 p.m.

      • Serai 1

        Yeah, most of them are posers. REAL stoners don’t need a schedule!

        *sssssst*

    • Msmlg1979

      I laugh more easily at Trump supporters. You expect that kind of behavior from them.

      • Hairstrike Alpha

        Found any? I like both, actually…

        • Msmlg1979

          Not yet. I assume they’re all still recovering from blowing off various body parts yesterday. .

          • MarkM

            Trump himself was in hiding yesterday. That coif is extremely flammable – he had to be careful.

          • Msmlg1979

            Fire could only improve that mess!

    • pstockholm

      Haven’t seen any. Maybe the chat cave has developed precognition?

    • Serai 1

      Not nearly as many trolls around these days as I’d expect.

  • Msgr_Moment

    All right, who let H.A. Goodman stay up all night?

    • Gleem-McShinez

      And worse, someone fed him after midnight!?

      • Gwennie_G

        I was going to make a joke about getting him wet but thought of a different interpretation of that and grossed myself out..

        • Gleem-McShinez

          Your unwanted double entendre was likely accurate.

          Care to try the ’82 Crâne l’eau de Javel?

  • CJTX

    I know this is repetitive – as being wrong was the point of the whole article, but I can’t help myself (and I need a good excuse to put off finishing cleaning the fridge):

    “CHECKMATE: Hillary Clinton Needs President Obama’s Pardon After FBI Indictment. Bernie Wins.” – Nope. Pardons come after CONVICTIONS, not indictments.

    ““She spoke for — was interrogated for three and a half hours at the FBI building yesterday.” – Nope, she was interviewed. An interrogation is when a bunch of constitutional protections kick in so they’re pretty well defined heavily discussed by the appeals courts (EDIT: My prior sentence was wrong) – and I believe an interrogation constitutes 2 things – being questioned, and a significant deprivation of your freedom (I.e. You may not be able to leave if you want to.) Apparently there’s a batch of serious supreme court decisions on exactly when you’re under interrogation (answer: it’s not clear).

  • Bad Granny

    He was all in for Rand Paul in 2012, and now he’s a BoB? Somebody needs some Eskalith.

    • Left Coast Tom

      He was all in for Rand Paul for 2016, in a post he wrote in 2014 for HuffPo.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Let it never be said that H.A. Goodman is a laughing stock amongst the punditry….

  • MrBlobfish

    You are hereby charged with high negligence and poor judgment. Now, go to your room.

    • Beaumarchais?

      aka the Oval Office.

  • pstockholm

    Could have been worse. He could have said “This validates me!” That would have been really annoying.

  • Relativicus

    Meanwhile, over at WaPo, Chris Cilizza is busy telling us how this means “Hillary’s email problems may be worse than we thought”! And yes, it was written after Comey’s announcement. This truly is great news for John McCain.

    • Joe Beese

      Money quote:

      It’s hard to read Comey’s statement as anything other than a wholesale rebuke of the story Clinton and her campaign team have been telling ever since the existence of her private email server came to light in spring 2015. She did send and receive classified emails. The setup did leave her — and the classified information on the server — subject to a possible foreign hack. She and her team did delete emails as personal that contained professional information.

      OK, yeah, so she kind of lied to our faces for the last year. But it’s only because she’s so eager to do wonderful things for us as our President.

      • JMP

        Except that once again the extremely honest and ethical Hillary Clinton has not told a single lie, and her idiotic opponents just keep lying by falsely calling her a liar when she has not lied at all.

        But keep fucking that chicken.

        • MarkM

          That chicken has been tenderised and internally basted long enough. Time to slap that bird on the grill.

          • david green

            After what has been done to that chicken, I think I’ll just have a little potato salad, thank you.

      • pstockholm

        Just so we can tease out your insinuations into the light of day – what nefarious activities are you proposing Hillary was up while Sec. of State that are concealed in her deleted emails?

      • Beaumarchais?

        Luckily, there are many other fine candidates to vote for.

      • Relativicus

        “Kind of lying” is the worst kind.

    • Sardonicuss

      Katherin Graham claws herself from her grave, walks into the office: “That is not how this works! That is not how any of this works!”

    • JMP

      And yet Republicans still refer to it as “Even the liberal Washington Post”, even as every one that rag employs like Cilizza who just spend all their time trying to do everything they can to tear down any and every Democratic politician. Hell, remember back in 2009 when he and Dana Milbank thought it was just hilarious to call Clinton a bitch?

      http://wonkette.com/410234/smooth-move-dana-milbank

    • DodgeDixie&Descartes

      There’s not a single thing in Comey’s statement that can’t be explained away with a chart illustrating how “devices” access data behind a firewall or simple and honest lapses in exact recall. (1) I send private emails from work using my “i” device with a mac address that allows me to use the secure network. (2) I never send business related information in my private mail exchanges. (3) Well, maybe sometimes when I’m not really thinking about security. (4) I may have sent my ex an email this morning including roses for Swiss Army Man over the weekend to illustrate that at least in my art house it’s a hit. (5) Who the fuck care? (6) Maybe my board. I did sign that non-disclosure…

      And then there are all my old devices whose mac addresses can also access the network. When I wiped them I gave them to a charity. Oops. I shall endeavor to do better next time.

  • pstockholm

    When’s the Hillary Whatsapp investigation starting?

  • TheGrandWaz00

    “Go ahead, ask me again if we’re related.”
    https://media.giphy.com/media/12tHi1VipCONeE/giphy.gif

  • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

    In all humility, speaking as someone who spent quality time indulging the vain hope that Karl Rove would be indicted and–what was that nostalgic old phrase we used? “frog-marched out of the White House”–for his (actually) treasonous conduct in the matter of the outing of Valerie Plame, I am trying hard to feel a little compassion and understanding here. Even just a tiny, wee bit of compassion and understanding.

    Dang. Seems I’m shit out of compassion and understanding. Oh well.

  • pstockholm

    Obviously unhinged person says what?

  • DodgeDixie&Descartes

    As an OLD I only dimly recall my halcyon days at dear old university studying political science and economics — but I do recall guys like Mr. Goodman. Kinda sorta not very bright. Kinda sorta never managed to actually graduate. As luck would have it, before Al Gore invented the fucking internet such fan boys were lucky to sneak a few a letters each year into the Times-Picayune rallying the like minded to the noble cause of the John Birch Society. Today everybody gets a platform and almost everybody is almost always wrong. Mr. Goodman is pushing 40 and god-for-fucking-bid his parents should request that he vacate the basement. Who would we have to scare our children with?

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      I instantly distrust anyone who prefaces their “facts” with the words “Trust Me”

      • MarkM

        Even used car salesmen find HA! embarrassing.

      • JustDon’tSayDittos

        Yup, or “believe me”, “listen to me”, “I’m telling you”, or any variation thereof.

      • beavertank

        “I see you there, with that window open to Google ready to check my facts, but you don’t need to bother. You can trust me. And while we’re on the subject, I’ve got this great used car you might be interested in, it was owned by a diamond smuggler and gets terrible gas mileage… almost like it’s far heavier than it should be… and it has an odd lean to the front and right almost like the passenger door is filled with something. Probably nothing to worry about, though.”

      • skunky62

        Or “imminent”

    • malsperanza

      They used to stand on campus and hand out flyers for the Spartacist Youth League to anyone who was not wearing leather or other animal products.

      Nice to see that they went on to become productive members of society.

  • AnOuthouse

    If Hillary used her brainwashing and corruption to not go to jail then she can use her brainwashing and corruption to win the election.

  • mancityfooty .

    I’m thinking he’s trying to send some kinda secret message through his use of all caps. Although, much like anything else he says, I have no idea what he’s trying to say.
    I don’t really care, though, so it’s not like I’m trying too hard.

  • TheGrandWaz00

    Goodman should learn to hedge his predictions like Alex Jones does. He predicts there’s a 50% chance that Clinton will murder Trump. Either she will or she won’t…profit!!!

  • Run2Live

    What a waste of oxygen.

    • Poe’s Law

      Bitch libelz

  • MarkM

    Imagine if HA! Goodman and Phil Robertson could somehow beget a child together? Would that kid be Peak Derp?

    • DodgeDixie&Descartes

      Peak COMMANDER Derp

  • Gary Charound

    Now I’m imagining the heads that would explode If President Clinton nominates James Comey to the Supreme Court.

    • Scott Myers

      Or, Barack Obama?

      • Gary Charound

        Even better.

  • Ryan Denniston


    The FBI is not going to be
    remembered — for generations! — as the law enforcement agency that caved
    to an overtly corrupt politician named Clinton”

    As opposed to being remembered for the abuses of Herbert Hoover, I think we eke out a narrow win for America!

    • BWilliamson

      J. Edgar.

      • Serai 1

        Yeah, Herbert was a whole ‘nother kettle of fish.

      • Ryan Denniston

        Woops, confused the Hoovers, they’re all equally horrid.

        • doktorzoom

          Hoovers suck. It’s their purpose.

        • Kateaux

          Aw, c’mon, Herbert Hoover was actually a decent guy who did accomplish some good things — he helped many, many people around the world avoid starving to death after first WWI and then WWII. He just wasn’t the greatest president.

  • jmhm

    I sort of avoided the young hungry punditbots this time around, but hearing that tout DC is in the tank for HIllary never gets old.

  • beingreleased

    Lest we forget, Dick Cheney shot someone in the face with no consequences.

    • david green

      I thought he used a shotgun?

  • Constant Gardener

    Haw Haw’s splodey head is splodin.

  • IHaveThoughts

    “Lord give me the confidence of a mediocre white man.”

    But seriously, why dos he still get to speak? He is more wrong than when I was a kid and I was convinced that my dad would buy me a new Barbie if I just asked one more time.

  • Gorillionaire

    “Imminent” is a word that the skeeziest lawyers always use when they are promising you something that they are never ever going to deliver.

    • rezme

      I’m pretty sure the word “imminent” only exists, because it’s how a drunken lawyer would say “any minute”…

  • Scott Myers

    Well, I’ve never heard of this guy. Now, I can see why.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    My word, what an asshole.

    • MarkM

      Asshole LIBELZ!

  • MarkM

    There are so many, many ways to be wrong – and HA! knows ’em all.

  • As I was reading this, I was also watching our beautiful, brilliant first lady president to be walking out in front of a crowd with our awesome, brilliant, first black president. It’s a beautiful thing. Fuck the haters.

  • beavertank

    So, basically, he’s going for the crazy rant route? “I wasn’t wrong, this whole damn system was wrong! I would have been right if it weren’t for those meddling kids!”

    • Anntoinnette Silva Backus

      The Scooby Doo villiain’s defense.

  • Serai 1
  • Lark_in_the_AM

    14 plus minutes to be all the wrong? Has someone called the WAAAAAAAAAAAAHmbulance for poor HA-HA?

  • ltmcdies

    jesus H christ…is Bernie the Lord Anointed to some of these people…for god sake HA…get a damn grip or we might start thinking you should restart whatever medication you are currently not using.

  • YoBunnyBunny

    “…the entire planet will say that, you know what? The rule of law in the United States of America pertaining to the most powerful politicians is — is one standard for Hillary Clinton and another standard for everybody else.”

    The “ENTIRE PLANET”???? Uh… I don’t really know about that? I honestly don’t think the entire developed/developing/undeveloped world is shredding their panties about a case of shitty email protocol. Lil’ bit of an exaggeration, ya think?

    • Well, and Hillary has done well in polls in other parts of the world anyway. If we gave the entire planet a vote, I actually would worry less about the Annoying Orange.

    • Me not sure

      He means the entire planet of Hillary hating white men.

      • Poe’s Law

        There’s another planet?

        • Me not sure

          “…maybe Utah.”
          Apologies to “Raising Arizona”.

    • laineypc

      Ah yes the double standards … The Petreus standard, the Colin Powell and Condoleeza Rice standard…

  • clever_sobriquet

    This guy is crying out for a good skull fucking but there’s not enough condoms in the world.

  • parkii

    Has Huffpo moved his “columns” to the entertainment section yet?

  • Thorn Spike

    H.A. Who?

  • anon_the_great

    Horse’s Ass, of course. Teh feckin troll spelled it out all along.

    Well played Basement dweller, well played.

  • JustLikeClockwerk

    http://ih0.redbubble.net/image.201492543.3862/flat,800×800,075,t.u1.jpg

    My reaction whenever I read something by HaHa Goodman

    • DiTurno

      I’ll be stealing that one.

      • skunky62

        Me too since I’m a Latino.

  • unhipcat

    the truth is Bamz told Comey he was going to pre-emptively pardon Hillary, so Comey said “fuck it, let’s just not indict.” I don’t have any proof.

    • Me not sure

      … so QED , it must be true.

    • Poe’s Law

      I don’t have any proof

      Is all the proof you need.

  • Scott Lemieux pointed out that neither Goodman nor Bragman have had anything published on Salon since Salon’s EIC left a couple weeks ago. Most interesting.

    • hendenburg2

      Was Goodman one of those Bern It Down-ers that Salon loved to publish last month?

      • Richard_thunderbay

        The go-to guy for that.

      • Coquettish

        He’s like those distilled into one wild-eyed manic.

      • rachelmap

        Yeah. He had a good friend of mine worried for a while that Hill was going to be charged. Now she says she’s given up on Salon.

  • Anntoinnette Silva Backus

    Two minutes. I lasted two minutes listening to that guy…more like watching his mouth do all kinds of weird movements while he pontificated. He should have skipped the braces. And giving his opinion. Dolt.

    • skunky62

      I lasted 10 minutes because he kept going around circles and I got tired of it.

  • I have absolutely no idea who this is.

    Apparently I’m not missing anything.

    • Richard_thunderbay

      H.A. Goodman has been writing articles for the Salon (about 20 Clinton hit pieces in the last few months) and the Huffington Post (where he wrote the classic “Why I’m Voting for Rand Paul in 2016” back in 2014).

      His Huffington Post bio describes him as an author and journalist. His personal web page is a Sanders’ campaign site.

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    If I may, I recommend the conservatears . They’re delicious.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      Best when served Bernt.

      • phoenix00

        Bernt to the Hillz

        FIFY

    • boll ocks

      Somehow I’m still thirsty, despite the abundance of said tears… do I have a drinking problem?

    • IHaveThoughts

      2008 was the best vintage thus far produced, I’m really excited to try the 2016 vintage.

  • Malachi Folken

    HA has said several times in several videos “if the FBI doesn’t recommend indictments”, and “I believe they will”. He expressed a sincere belief they will, but always admitted he could be wrong. So sorry, he’s not painfully wrong.

    • Me The People

      So, his ‘sincere belief’ was painfully wrong. Thanks for clearing that up.

    • Coquettish

      Read his twitter feed. You’re not going to see a lot of admissions that he might be wrong in there. You will see a lot of borderline unstable rants.

  • SullivanSt

    It seems like I would not benefit from putting in the effort of discovering who the fuck this HA Goodman person even is.

    • Left Coast Tom

      He’s a Rand Paul fan who calls himself a “progressive” Bernie supporter.

      I’m not kidding…

      • SullivanSt

        So in other words my intuition was spot on :p

    • Lamashtar

      I’m kind of wondering why Wonkette thinks its worthwhile to watch his youtube videos.

      • Coquettish

        Among the wonks and those of us who have been flowing much of the primary cycle on social media, he’s infamous. His videos are worth a watch strictly because text doesn’t adequately convey how unhinged he’s become.

  • This is how H.A. Goodman spent the last 3 hours.

    • MarkM

      I suspect he’s pouring the booze straight down his gullet actually. He should get together with Reince Priebus. Reince is drunk pretty much all the time these days too. They could call themselves “The Sad Cirrhosis Twins.”

    • Msgr_Moment

      I want that bottle. But not that glass.

  • TimJ

    Blah blah, HA Goodman is apparently not omnipotent either. He really needs to work on saying shit in less time. Boring.

  • floppyears

    Quote of the day: “To be clear: this is not to suggest that in similar circumstances a person who engaged in this activity would face no consequences. To the contrary, those individuals are often subject to security or administrative sanctions, but that’s not what we’re deciding now.” – James Comey

    • alnnc

      Of course, administrative or security sanctions are not criminal sanctions. They generally involve a letter of reprimand, maybe a training class on security, at worse a suspension of security clearance. This is not very effective when you are a private citizen or the president.

  • Jonny On Maui

    The second to last time I doubled down on my wrongness I was five. The last time I doubled down on my wrongness I was blind drunk and when I sobered up Ms. On Maui informed me that yes, that was the last time I demonstrate that behavior.

    The ‘or else’ was heavily implied…

    • Pickwicknext

      Ms On Maui is really on the ball there

  • Swampgas_Man

    Would Hillz’ brain-washing and mind-control powers seem really useful in a leader talking to foreign leaders?

  • Manhattan123

    I haven’t checked Salon in a while, are they in mourning today? They have been home to HAHA Goodman’s blathering and general Hillary-hating diatribes for quite a while now. Are they even still in business?

  • E. J. Sheehan

    Live from the Goodman Home.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_-n7_GZ2G8

  • moderatevoter

    This is news is unbelievably delicious and I have disliked the Clintons for 30 years. They are lousy low overly entitled people. But their enemies are much worse. Goodman is sad entertainment an authentic american crackpot. Seriously, he is at least mildly mentally ill and more than mildly stupid. What does that say for his couple thousand desciples? Its a bit country 300 million plus. So its not hard to find 1000 or so idiots of whatever flavor.

    • HazooToo

      Seriously, thanks for hating Hillary less.

      • moderatevoter

        I don’t hate her, but there is substance to the general behavior she and Bill are hounded for, but the accusers lose all perspective. Its a sort of cult that has reached a critical mass and feeds off itself. Trump cannot be president and the Clintons may just be capable of routing the crazy elements of the GOP, that is the thing that really scares conservatives.The Bernie Bro part (a distinct minority) of the Sanders movement are just naive kids and various pathetic nuts who have as much connection with Bernie as the South Florida Baptist church has with Jesus.

        • HazooToo

          I agree about that last part. The assholes in his camp seem to be way more Anti-Hillary than Pro-Bernie!

  • Richard_thunderbay

    Looking at Goodman’s twitter feed, I see that he’s reposted the same “Stay Patient Bernie” tweet eight times in the last hour. These aren’t retweets by others. He’s cutting and pasting his own tweet and putting it back up again.

    • skunky62

      He is having fun since no one cares about his crap.

    • Coquettish

      He does that all the time to insert different hashtags into each one. It’s spamming for the most exposure. It also makes him look crazy as all get out.

  • Cranky Man

    Hah, he did not click on the “15 pictures of Hillary with cute email servers that will break your heart”.

  • AlphaNerd

    Way to celebrate the lack of accountability of our plutocrats.

    • Just because you hate someone doesn’t mean they’re guilty of a crime, bro.

      • Iam Reading

        But according to his pocket constitution, oh fuck it. I don’t want to know what these douches think

    • She has been held accountable. Now trust the system and accept the conclusion.

    • Enfant Terrible

      I would argue that there was better security on Hillary’s email server than was available on any State Department machine. If I felt like arguing, that is. And I don’t.

      This thing was, is, and always will be a big nothing burger, and will remain so, no matter how much condiments you put on it.

      • ltmcdies

        honestly it sounds like state should get Hilary’s tech people to set up that server.

    • phoenix00

      And who, praytell, would your preferred plutocrats be accountable to?

  • I’m sure the conspiracy contraption is cranking at its full crankiness. The conservative way seems to be that when facts don’t suit, discount the experts and OPINION RULES; facts drool

    • David

      Goodman isn’t a conservative, he’s a fervent Bernie supporter.

      • ekitty

        He was a Paulite before that. So what does that make him really?

        • David

          http://www.huffingtonpost.com/h-a-goodman/im-a-liberal-democrat-im_b_6169542.html

          Here he is on that issue. He seemed to view interventionism and domestic surveillance as his primary concerns, and supported Rand Paul even while agreeing to disagree on other issues. He then found a candidate who matched Rand Paul in scaling back foreign wars and the NSA, as well as his preferred policies on economics and healthcare.

          • ekitty

            You talk about this lying propagandist as though he were a serious thinker. He’s not. He’s a liar and a propagandist. He makes shit up and then when he’s proven wrong, he pretends he was right. He’s exactly like Trump. He’s nuts.

        • skunky62

          A bipolar loon? I dunno…

          • ekitty

            Sounds about right. How the hell did he get foisted onto a platform to demonstrate it?

      • I hate it when non-conservatives buy into the Republican Clinton smear campaign

    • vet

      Sure but the only clear fact here is that comey found her innocent. We’re all kind of shaking that off. The consequent is unthinkable. But here it is and we’re gonna have to live with it.

      • (1)Comey didn’t act alone. And (2) the rest of your comment, which are not allowed, is incomprehensible. You must be using a hand-held device that auto corrects.

        • vet

          Yeah and even worse, sometimes I try that without my glasses. Sorry.

          And reading this in the DISQUS summary of comments, I see I also wrote that Comey found her innocent. That’s the opposite of what I wanted to say. Some days are like that, I guess. Although in retrospect that might have been my first thought, but–he didn’t. He just said he didn’t think he could get a conviction, so why bother? all of which I disagree with–not innocent, and definitely worth making a new precedent.

          Thanks for not being all hostile about it. Incomprehensible is not a bad word, especially if you know the android auto-correctors. I once placed and entirely “autocorrected” pocket call that was absolutely pornographic and violent. I felt the need to announce to anyone else watching, that it wasn’t me. The weird thing is, it sort of made sense….

  • David

    H.A. Goodman has his heart in the right place, but he was painfully wrong about the states that Bernie would win. He seemed absolutely certain that Bernie would win all through the primary process even as his chances dwindled. Then, once a Hillary victory in the primaries became inevitable, he
    started endlessly writing and speaking about how Hillary would be indicted any day now.

    The problem is, he obviously based his political analysis on wishful thinking and hope more than anything else.

    • ltmcdies

      I’m sorry but some his stuff gets a tad beyond “wishful thinking” into “emotional stability issues”
      Anyone of us has been gutted to have worked and believed in a candidate and see that candidate lose.
      but to hang your hope on the faint possibility the winner would be indicted … come on that’s circling crazy town.

      he’s not helping Bernie with this nonsense, and Salon is not helping HA..

      Editor, Salon…have you heard of them

      • skunky62

        And any so-called Democrat who wishes a Democrat’s indictment, is not a Democrat at all. I don’t remember any Republican wishing Nixon’s impeachment in 1974.

        • David

          Oh, please, US politics would be so much better if people would stick to principle, not party. Hillary is a faux-Democrat, along with much of the Democratic establishment. She’s sold out to Wall Street and health insurance companies. Her coronator, the chair of the DNC, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, sold out to scumbag predatory lenders and tried to make it easier for the financial industry to rip you off. Hillary’s army of fans proclaims Bernie’s policies (which every other modern industrialized country does to one extent or another) as fantasy, mere “rainbows and unicorns.”

          A huge portion of the Democratic Party is almost as corrupt as the Republicans. Then, there’s the fact that the ridiculous US two-party system isn’t really healthy to a functioning democracy.

          Had I been Bernie, I would have announced the formation of the US Social Democratic Party and run as a third party candidate to bypass the Democratic primary process altogether and end the corrupt two-party system once and for all.

          • puipui

            Generally speaking, Hillary is better than Bernie on social issues, or at the very least has a stated opinion and a plan for approaching those issues rather than just “fix the financial stuff and all of that racism / sexism / homophobia / Islamophobia / miscellaneous other bigotry will fix itself”. Just sayin’.

            Also, had you been Bernie, you would’ve lost the election, and also caused the Democrats to lose the election, thus guaranteeing 4-8 years of President Trump. So fuck you just for that, really.

          • jmhm

            Actually, given a chance to make life better for LGBT citizens and victims of gun violence he passed. Hell, he came back to town to vote against the two gun control measures which stood the best chance of passing after Orlando.

          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            “A huge portion of the Democratic Party is almost as corrupt as the Republicans.”

            Uhh, no.

          • David

            Oh, yes. Sure they claim to be for the little guy, but just look at Hillary, who sold out to Wall Street, or Debbie Wasserman Schultz, who tried to gut the Consumer Protection Financial Burrau at the behest of predatory lenders who charge 390% interest.

          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            Uh, no, dickhead. This should keep you busy for a while:

            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_federal_political_scandals_in_the_United_States

          • David

            Uh, OK, some Republic as n and Democratic scandals. As I said, both parties are corrupt.

          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            You have the political acumen of a toadstool. Fuck off.

          • David

            Oh, looks like someone triggered.

            In any event, what I said is true, and it doesn’t really matter how many scandals take place, or who has more of them, because the vast majority of corruption is legalized anyway. Just look at Citizens United.

            Get it through your head, in terms of open bribery and listening to lovbyists, both parties are to blame, one more than the other, but the United States is effectively an oligarchy now.

          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            You are essentially an idiot. If you can’t tell “somewhat fucked up” from “total fucking train wreck” maybe you should leave politics to the adults. Get it through your head, I spent a lifetime studying (BA Poli Sci) and working (35 years in the DoD, 20 active duty USAF) in defense of my country. Don’t try to school me you fucking little cunt.

          • David

            I don’t give a shit about your career, the point is that the Democrats are also largely corrupt to the core, their only saving grace being that they’re the lesser of two evils, and simply holding your nose and voting for the lesser of two evils to prevent the truly crazy from getting into power isn’t working. Inequality is at its highest in US history (confirmed a few days ago), and the all but certain Democratic nominee is as corrupt as many Republicans. This is an absolute disaster, and neither party can be counted on to stop it.

          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            I enjoy Wonkette because most of the people there are quite intelligent (you excepted), so I’ve tried to make this as simple as possible for you even though you still don’t seem to get it. What do you not understand about “fuck off”?

          • Karen Marie

            I’d suggest you go into comedy but you’re actually more annoyingly stupid than funny, so …

            Is the two-party system corrupt because it’s a two-party system or because of the two parties themselves? If Sanders can’t win a primary, how do you suggest he would “end the corrupt two-party system once and for all”?

            From what I see, you think the plan is:

            1) Announce the formation of the US Social Democratic Party
            2) Run as a third-party candidate
            3) ?
            4) “Functioning democracy!”

            Come to think of it, Sanders does resemble an Underpants Gnome. Without the beard.

          • David

            The current US political system is dominated by an undemocratic duopoly of parties that maintain their position via ridiculous ballot access laws that constrain third parties. This has been going on for so long that most people think voting third party is just wasting your vote anyway.

            Had Sanders not run as a Democrat, he would have had a better chance of winning. But more importantly, had he ascended on a wave of populism as a third party candidate, the sheer popularity he enjoyed directed towards a third party candidate would have convinced many people that there is a genuine alternative.

      • jmhm

        As long as Sanders is squatting on that ten million, he’s pretty much the only game in town left for Salon. Does it surprise you that they’re pretty much ripping the red meat off live animals with their teeth now?

    • vet

      He was a fan and true believer. That was refreshing. Plus every point he made was good, and morally I think he’s all right. Practically or journalistically, he’s not as great but at least he was always there with a pretty logical analysis. Unfortunately logic doesn’t apply here.

      • Melanie Nelson

        He is actually a Rand Paul devotee but settled on Bernie as his second-best dream lover..hence his rage at HRC.

      • jmhm

        So he blew it practically and journalistically and in terms of logistics, but his analysis was logical?

        You do realize that Sanders was his stalking horse for the candidate he actually supports, right?

        • vet

          Well, I have mixed feelings about H.A. and have no idea about the stalking horse argument. Interesting, but it doesn’t pass my sniff test. Not that it’s the final word.

          I guess I took main issue with H.A. when he did a vid in which he was either really tired or somewhat under the influence of a popular herbal remedy, and it made me wish he would script his work so it wouldn’t seem so sporadic and emotional. All his arguments were post hoc, fueled by wishful thinking. Yeah, there’s that. Journalistically–I think it’s a stretch to give him that credibility.

          Maybe I should have said, he was fun to watch. and he was. He has potential–hope it’s not to work for the Trump.

          • jmhm

            Well, tbh, I think his advocacy was abusive, misogynist and intellectually dishonest, so I kind of hope he does go with Trump and discredits his bombthrowing with progressives.

  • Enfant Terrible

    it just shows to go ya, even lefties can suffer horrible consequences from severe head trauma.

  • Gitmo? lol

  • The Magic Christian

    Just a reminder, HA HA Goodman is a failed fantasy book author.

    • feministing

      love your icon, had that pic as my facebook profile all 2008

      • The Magic Christian

        Yeah, it’s pretty cool. It caught my eye as soon as I saw it.

  • DutchS

    The entire planet? Maybe B-612, which is about 30 feet in diameter (read The Little Prince). The Little Prince was too sensible for such nonsense, but once he left home, the planet was empty.

  • Ninja0980

    Having reading his twitter feed the past 24 hours, I think it’s time for the men in white coats to come and give H.A. Goodman a nice rest in a home for a while.

  • BJW Nashe

    H.A. Goodman assumed that the FBI still had some level of integrity and independence. H.A. Goodman was correct in his assessment about HRC’s guilt. Comey said so himself. Comey then said he would nonetheless recommend no indictment. This travesty of justice has outraged both progressives and conservatives, and all Americans who care about democracy and the rule of law. Do you know how many people have been aggressively prosecuted by this administration for mishandling classified information? For the FBI Director to demonstrate so brazenly that there is a set of laws for us normal citizens, that do not seem to apply to rich and powerful political elites… Well, it’s just shameful. Or do you fail to grasp these basic facts, Wonkette?

    • ltmcdies

      mishandling…or deliberately showing …as in a certain general showing a certain author he happened to be sleeping with certain classified items…note the word “showing”..as in let that individual actually see information.
      are we talking that guy.

      and you know sentences like:

      “progressives and conservatives, and all Americans who care about democracy”

      get painfully close to Palin’s…”real america” notion. You remember the one

      Is that really a good place…accusing anyone thinks differently on this issue as somehow not caring as much democracy, etc…not being as good as you

      really want to play that game.

    • phoenix00

      Well hello there Mr. Gowdy, how- Another Congressional Hearing? Did Janine overcook your eggs again? Tsk tsk

    • WomanInAMood

      Interesting.

    • WomanInAMood

      Yeah, we’re kinda dim like that. Excuse me, I need to go make some new Oldowan hand axes.

      • vet

        It’d be nice if you’d catch up on your spelling before you take a wild leap into anthropology.

        • WomanInAMood

          Spelling, so confusing.

        • WomanInAMood

          If I’m making a homo erectus hand axe, chances are strong that spelling is not a personal priority, you very silly person.

        • It would help if you understood that Oldowai is the older transliteration of the place and Oldowan is the derived name of the culture.

    • vet

      Yeah they do.

    • Coquettish

      Could you enlighten us with a few examples?

    • So, come the revolution you will leave your mothers basement and boldly welcome out alien overlords.

    • Iam Reading

      We fail to care.

    • malsperanza

      Needs moar “the fact of the matter is, is”

  • Johnnymoreno

    Well, there goes his whole Hillary-is-not-omnipotent theory.

  • Lamashtar

    Your Dumb Stupid attacks just make Haha GoodyMan stronger, Wonketteers!

    • MrCanoehead

      You see? You see? Your stupid minds! Stupid! Stupid!

  • skunky62

    What is wrong with HA! Goonman? Why that hatred against Hillary? Did she molested him eons ago? What have we learned today, Mr. Goonman? That you have been taking to much peyote and your brain is mush. Stop hiding behind youtube and go back to Huffington, or is it that they no longer need you to trash Hillary? How about Salon?

    • Lew D’Innuendo

      You actually LIKE these venal conservative democrats like the Clintons?

      • Leliel

        Well, be your definition. yes.

        Your definition seems to be “someone competent who actually understands how anything works, and thus dismisses accelerationism as the intellectual equivalent to shooting one’s self in the skull in the expectation that giving more oxygen to the brain will make you smarter that it is.” So I take your description with all the salt.

      • So you think someone who supports

        Minimum Wage legislation
        reproductive rights
        marriage equality
        more renewable energy
        strong environmental controls on power stations
        much stronger regulation of fracking
        a Supreme Court with a left of centre majority

        is a venal conservative

  • Gear Mentation

    So someone had misplaced faith in the system and you’re laughing about it. Good for you.

    • WomanInAMood

      Well, it’s actually inherent in the system.

    • Iam Reading

      It gave him genital warts

  • Lew D’Innuendo

    You kids are just so cute sometimes, myopia and a weak grip are endemic these days.

    Now it’s time to move on to just who the Republicans will run against this wounded
    oligarch. Ted Cruz and his legions of superstition-addled dimwits seems quite feasible, at this point that demographic will vote for whoever pays them attention and buys their ooga-boogaism. Anyone who thinks Trump will come out of the convention as the Republican candidate never understood that Trump’s campaign has always been a sham and that he has never intended to take the oath of office.

    Hell, even that bumbling doofus Jeb Bush can beat Hillary now. Feel the fear of your upcoming desolation, Hillibots, you got exactly what you asked for.

    There has never been a stronger incentive for the Repubs to “fix” their rules and hand the Democrats their asses.

    ***

    Special Bonus: Presidential Double Entendre while campaigning for the Hildebeast:

    “The other side has got nothing to offer you,” the president insisted. “If your concern is working people, then this election is not a choice.”

    Correct, but not in the way you meant, Mr. President.

    • MarkM

      That’s your best trolling shot? Really? Wow…I actually feel embarrassed for you.
      “Ted Cruz seems quite feasible?” Well, perhaps to a troll, but there is less chance of Ted Cruz being nominated than of HA! Goodman being right about something. Try harder silly person, if this is the best you’ve got you will grow boring too quickly.

      • Lew D’Innuendo

        It’s so cute when a marginal personality such as yourself fails at patronizing your betters. Dance, monkey, dance!

        Watch and learn son, better yet, go read the boards of the Republican party faithful, this is like manna from heaven for them, and they don’t much care where the votes come from.

        • Calton

          “Betters”

          That word does not mean what you think it means.

          • Lew D’Innuendo

            Being rich and well educated will do me fine.

          • jmhm

            I doubt anyone rich and well-educated is going to do you ever, but I’m sure that one hand loves you very much.

          • Lew D’Innuendo

            Under standard playground rules, weakly echoing the taunts of another is an automatic default, effectively you are saying “I’m not a poopy face! You are a poopy face!” in response to being called a poopy face.

        • puipui

          This is manna from heaven for them in the same way that anything even mildly insulting to any Democrat is manna from heaven for them, and if it’s Hillary then it’s even more so. If you walked into your local Republican headquarters and called Hillary a bitch, half of them would jizz themselves with joy. That doesn’t mean that any of this means anything at all to anyone else, nor does it mean that she isn’t going to kick Trump’s tangerine ass in November.

          • Lew D’Innuendo

            Trump won’t be running. If you don’t think the Repubs will have him killed if necessary to put their boy up against this broken oligarch Clinton you are childishly naive.

          • puipui

            LOL, yes, I can totally see Reince Priebus having someone killed, especially if it’s to favor his “boy” who has yet to be defined. That seems legit!

          • Karen Marie

            Who’s “their boy”? Ted Cruz? Seriously? Wow. I just can’t even.

          • Iam Reading

            So, how many voices do you hear?

        • Not an insult, humans are part of the clade of monkeys,

          All I see from you are the drug addled ravings of a scared little boy, afraid a girlie might be President of you.

          • Lew D’Innuendo

            That’s all you have, drug slurs? How pathetic are you? Nevermind, you just told us.

          • Well as your ravings appear to be those of a libertarian junkie how else should we respond? Anyway making fun of the politically inept makes us giggle.

    • puipui

      Trump’s campaign has always been a sham, sure, but what does it say about Republicans that the sham won?

      Republicans prefer the sham because he spouts the kind of bigotry they love but haven’t been allowed to love out loud. Donald Trump is a fucking world-wide embarrassment, and Republicans fucking love him. There is nothing that’s going to stop them from getting exactly what they want.

    • Msgr_Moment

      Wow, you talk about Hillz as damaged, and then try to figure out which of your party’s second-tier candidates will replace your presumptive nominee. You’re projecting like an IMax, Sir or Madame.

      • Lew D’Innuendo

        Wow, you don’t understand the concept of projection.

        • Msgr_Moment

          Oh, please explain. This otter be good.

      • Lew D’Innuendo

        The Repukes aren’t my party, fnckface. I don’t have one.

        • Msgr_Moment

          Awww, how cute. Mommy won’t let you type “fuck”.

      • MrCanoehead

        It’s IMAX, not IMax. It wasn’t invented by Apple.

        • Msgr_Moment

          i iMagined iT was.

    • Errr- are you utterly delusional? Have you been inhaling large quantities of Columbian Marching Powder cut with LSD? Are you putting together a submission for “Dear Shit fer Brains”?

      Idiots have been trying to sell this “Trump will drop out” shit for months, he hasn’t and there is ZERO (0, nil, nada, rein, zilch, niks, ezer, nunda, nenio) evidence that he will.

      Oh, and if it’s a sham it’s a fucking successful sham.

      • Lew D’Innuendo

        LOL! Next you will be telling us that denial is a river in Egypt.

        The Demos fncked this one up big time.

        • How? By Hillary being exonerated? By Trump posting anti-Semitic slurs again?

          • Lew D’Innuendo

            Trump will not be the Republican candidate, he has never intended to ever take the oath of office.

            The person they put in his place will have an easy time finishing off the Hildebeast, her poll numbers against ANYONE will be total shlt.

          • Evidence – not your wild fantasies, please.

            Consider, if Trump drops out what will the reaction of the Tea Party and the Nazi element?

            Oh, sorry, I forgot, you probably think that Hillary is playing 95 dimensional chess and planted Donald Trump.

            Conspiracy theorist like you are so dumb …

      • Lew D’Innuendo

        The old drug slur. Your dicklessness is showing.

        • Ah my Missus stole my dick. fine. I notice you appear to be coming down from your high. We’ll just keep laughing at you snow boy.

      • Iam Reading

        Marching powder is so hard to come by these days. You think that tool could actually make any connections?

    • D0ngR

      I remember my first election.

  • Grant Saw

    hagoodman is a sensationalist. The world makes room for one or two every year and he got in on it for this election cycle. That doesn’t make him correct, it just makes him a sensational liar.

    • Lew D’Innuendo

      LOL! Whining about Goodman is just a feeble attempt at distraction.

      This is the worst outcome possible for the Democratic Party. Whole herds of sheep have run off a cliff by each following the one in front of them.

      • Grant Saw

        What part was whining? I was stating facts.

        • Lew D’Innuendo

          ROTFLMFAO! It was ALL whining, did H.A. spank you once?

          Evidently you wouldn’t know a fact if one came up and bit you on the butt, you substantiated not one of your hysterical assertions and bullshlt rules about how many sensationalists there are, assmunch.

          • Calton

            Look, Goodman, nobody’s buying what you’re selling, OK?

          • Lew D’Innuendo

            Barking at the darkness, little doggie?

            Tee hee, here comes your desolation.

          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            I’ve got $500 that says Hillary will win the election.

          • Lew D’Innuendo

            Make it $5K and I might play. Please reply, my escrow agent is available.

            Seriously, $5K is lunch money here, let’s go.

          • Iam Reading

            People who have money never thrash it about like you do. Obvious tell is obvious.

          • Lew D’Innuendo

            LOL! How would a poor-assed life loser like you know?

          • Grant Saw

            Lame. Your defence of hagoodman says as much about you as it does about hagoodman. You make a good understudy of the sensationalist.

          • Lew D’Innuendo

            I’m not defending Goodman. I’m several moves ahead of you.
            The Republicans are sharpening the knives for a Novemeber victory, they just were handled the ammo they need.

          • Iam Reading

            Hahahahaha.

          • Why are you laughing? Is it to disguise your inner pain at finding you were deluded or your shame at finding that most women and most men are more rational than yourself?

          • Lew D’Innuendo

            It’s so cute when an obviously inadequate personality like you fails at patronizing his betters with your quaint misunderstandings from Psych 101.

            These pig assed conservative democrats are part of the problem and have been for a generation.

          • I’m not the high school boy boasting of his advanced education. I’m just making fun of you.

          • Lew D’Innuendo

            All the money, all the wisdom, all the power.

          • Iam Reading

            President Hillary Clinton. MRAs and MGTOWs lament

      • Face it, 30 years of investigations have brought up nothing for which Hillary can be prosecuted.

        Now you are calling people here “sheep” but as you are an utterly irrational HillaryHater with nothing to back your claims except innuendo and conspiracy theories.

        Now go away and play with yourself.

        • Lew D’Innuendo

          If you like these venal conservative democrats you are living their failure as well.
          Were you born yesterday perhaps?

          • Evidence? Because no investigation has ever found venality in Mrs Clinton’s background – but I suspect you do not know what the word actually means.

            Keep going, we’ll snigger at you some more next Sunday.

          • Lew D’Innuendo

            Keep going, your tainted candidate will never take the oath of office.

          • Karen Marie

            No, but you obviously were.

          • Lew D’Innuendo

            Under standard playground rules, weakly echoing the taunts of another is an automatic default, effectively you are saying “I’m not a poopy face! You are a poopy face!” in response to being called a poopy face.

        • kareemachan

          I’m sorry I got in on this so late. Are you sure you’re not responding to Goodman himself? The deleted commenter seems…. passionate.

    • Dana Logsdon

      Hey morons! He was RIGHT!

  • Mojo

    ahhh one of the biggest jokes of the election so far.

    • Lew D’Innuendo

      Is that your face? If so, I would agree, it is.

  • Solid Snake

    This is a rather entertaining meltdown HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Goodman is having.

    • Lew D’Innuendo

      What meltdown is that?

      • Msgr_Moment

        Don’t worry. I’m sure you’ll make plenty of new friends in fifth grade.

        • Lew D’Innuendo

          Look, a child is talking from under his bed, how cute!

          Don’t worry, Trump won’t be the Repub’s candidate and either Hillary or Trump would be so impeachable if elected we would be running on a V.P. inside of two years.

          This isn’t about the Democratic party, this is about the nation’s future.

          • Iam Reading

            Typing =/= talking.

          • Lew D’Innuendo

            Did you learn a new word today?

  • Lew D’Innuendo

    You just can’t beat Mommy blogs for message boards full of flatliners.

    • Msgr_Moment

      “That’s all you have? How pathetic are you? Nevermind, you just told us.”

      • Lew D’Innuendo

        There’s that feeble squeaking noise again, you sound so effete, so affected.

        • Msgr_Moment

          You mean “gay”? Come out and say it then. Or does Mommy not approve of such language?

          • Jason M

            His mom’s busy right now. REAL busy. Hey-o!

          • Lew D’Innuendo

            And yet you are still a life loser without a pot to plss in.

          • Iam Reading

            I’m sorry you have no friends. Just a thought; have you tried not being an asshole?

          • Lew D’Innuendo

            Not human, no thanks.

          • Lew D’Innuendo

            No, I mean you come off as a weak and prancy little bltch boy and at your age that’s beyond arrested development.

            You must suck c0ck for fun, it’s a cinch no one is paying for your crusty old ass.

        • Jason M

          I wish I had as much time as Lew F’uckknuckle here, to jerk off on a “message board” (is he posting from his Geocities account?) that I know is just gonna ban my spamming ass. In a few hours he’ll be just as forgotten and irrelevant here as his personal philosophy already is.

          • Lew D’Innuendo

            Ooooh, someone who is an internet hipster, talk about having no life, you live in a cheesy cartoon son, much like the Wonkette itself.

            You are right, the 1 percent have a lot of time, and resources too.

            Bottom line: Trump won’t be the Republican candidate and the FBI just handled the Repubs the election.

          • Jason M

            1 percent of what? Is there a Forbes list of assholes, now? Bottomer line: No one worth anything has ever had to tell someone.

          • Lew D’Innuendo

            Your assertion is contradicted by countless existence proofs. You are a book of cliches and rationalizations for life losers.

        • Iam Reading

          Typed words are not audible, so…..

  • Karen Marie

    It really is as if the years 2001 through 2008 didn’t exist. How can so many blot out the many un-indicted/un-investigated crimes of the Bush II maladministration? Every time I hear “Hillary’s email scandal,” I think, “Where were these people when the Bush administration admitted it had ‘lost’ millions of emails and had been using private email accounts, including accounts on the RNC server,” but I’m too exhausted with the bullshit to research their contemporaneous defenses and throw them back in their faces.

  • Lew D’Innuendo

    So, who will replace Trump to thwart the Hildebeast?

    Paul Ryan is dreamy and should rule the mommy blogs.

  • Lew D’Innuendo

    What, no victory lap Hillary?

  • Zyxomma

    I lasted 34 seconds before I paused the video. What have I won?

    • jmk

      You got 8 seconds further than I did. I applaud your stamina.

  • LadyLaz

    I littered the us with AOL discs. I worked for them. I made sure to send 20 as a joke to my it nerd brother. He was not amused.

  • Dana Logsdon

    Hey Morons! HE WAS RIGHT!!!!

    • Bam

      If you replace Hillary with Trump then he might be.

  • Bam

    It’s 2017 and he’s still saying the same old crap. But now Comey has been fired and Trump is under investigation. But HA just won’t give up. Well, at least he is persistent, or should we call it obsessed. And no amount of facts will change his mind. He’s starting to make the Birther queen Orly Taite look like a critical thinker.

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