SHARE

lepage high chair

Oh for joy! Another chapter in the thrilling Maine Governor Paul LePage Is The Worst Human On Earth Chronicles! What’s he up to this time? Is he suggesting that not letting people die from overdoses is basically like encouraging heroin use? Is he sharing his concern about black drug dealers coming into Maine and impregnating “young white girls?” Is he suggesting we bring back public executions with guillotines?

No! But, weirdly, this new thing also kind of reminds us of Marie Antoinette! Except that now Gov. LePage very specifically does not want poor people to have cake! And yes, we know she did not actually say that, but whatever, it is thematic.

In his continuing quest to crack down on the statewide menace of people on food stamps actually eating food, LePage has decided he would like to ban SNAP recipients from using food stamps to buy sugary food and drinks. When he first proposed this to U.S. Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack, he was told that this was not do-able. Why? Because although it sounds like a “reasonable idea” in theory, it is not at all a feasible thing to do. First, as the USDA website explains, “no clear standards exist to define foods as good or bad, or healthy or not healthy.” Second, there are tons and tons of varieties of food products out there, and to spend all that time classifying them would require a lot of money and effort. Third, about 70 percent of all food stamp recipients only receive a portion of the maximum benefit and are thus expected to use some of their own money to buy food as well — meaning that implementing such a program is not actually going to prevent anyone from getting a soda once in a while. So, as it turns out, there’s no actual health benefit or monetary benefit to implementing such restrictions.

But LePage will not be moved! He wrote a second letter to Vilsack explaining that he will shut down the state’s SNAP program if the federal government won’t let him enact these restrictions, and the federal government will just have to run that themselves. Or something! It’s rather unclear! But he’s gonna do something about all those gross poor people guzzling Mountain Dew 24/7, and if he has to starve them to make that happen, then so be it!

He writes:

The Obama Administration goes to great lengths to police the menus of K-12 cafeterias, but looks the other way as billions of taxpayer dollars finance a steady diet of Mars bars and Mountain Dew. I can think of only one reason why the federal government would refuse to eliminate junk food from the EBT menu: special interests. Only when Washington politicians stop kowtowing to powerful retail grocer and junk food manufacturing interests will American taxpayers have a respectable food safety net.

Meanwhile, Maine’s obesity rate has doubled in the past twenty years from 14 to 28 percent, and our incidence of diabetes has more than doubled, from 3.9 to 9.5 percent. Only 31 percent of Mainers eat the recommended amount of vegetables and only 36 percent eat the recommended amount of fruits daily. To compound the problem, in most cases we are paying for the consequences of these disturbing trends because most SNAP recipients also receive Medicaid.

Beyond the health effects of the federal government’s corrupt food stamp policy is the billions in wasted taxpayer dollars that buy candy and soda through a program that was originally designed to reduce hunger. Maine taxpayers see it every day at the grocery store and they are sick and tired of watching their hard-earned money going down the drain.

It’s time for the federal government to wake up and smell the energy drinks. Doubtful that it will, I will be pursuing options to implement reform unilaterally or cease Maine’s administration of the food stamp program altogether. You maintain such a broken program that I do not want my name attached to it. I suggest you start browsing the Maine classifieds for commercial real estate leases.

Wow! What a charming fella! He just cares so much about the health of Maine’s poor that he’s willing to put them all on a hunger strike until he gets his way! He and all the Maine taxpayers are just so tired of all these poor people they imagine are buying $29 dollars worth of Mars bars and Mountain Dew every week! And probably Pepperidge Farm cookies, because after all this is Maine we are talking about, remember. Just getting fat and unhealthy on the public dime! It just makes his gosh derned blood boil! Whatever happened to gruel, huh? Maybe if poor people were fed only gruel, they would all just go out and get jobs that paid a living wage instead of livin’ off the dole!

Given that there’s little data on what kinds of food people buy with food stamps — one USDA study found SNAP beneficiaries no more likely to buy sugary drinks than low-income people not on SNAP — it is totally possible, and, indeed, likely that this whole scenario only exists in Paul LePage’s mind. And of course in the minds of people who pretend they can even tell when someone is paying with an EBT card in line at the grocery store. Who assume that because someone is poor that they are unable to make healthy food choices on their own. Who like to think of them as being bad, and greedy, and entitled, because that’s about a thousand times easier than thinking about how much it must suck to be in that position. Who do not so much fear that poor people are going to be unhealthy, but that they are not being sufficiently punished for being poor in the first place.

Personally? I’m ok with a poor person being able to have a candy bar once in a while, or buy a birthday cake for their kid, or have a ginger ale when they’ve got agita. Totally ok with that! Because too much misery when you’re in that kind of situation is not actually the great motivator people like Paul LePage think it is.

It’s probably unlikely that Paul LepPage will actually be able to do anything super gross to the state’s food stamp program, but the fact that he wants to is incredibly disturbing. Even if he were in the right and this were not a deeply stupid idea to begin with, he would be punishing poor people in order to spite the federal government for not letting him have his way. That is a very evil thing to do, and he is a bad person, who should feel bad. Except he won’t, because he’s probably whatever the word is for a sociopath who is not at all charming.

[Bangor Daily News]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • The Wanderer

    To be fair, he doesn’t look like he’s missed out on a Mallomar run.

  • Msgr_Moment

    Just goes to show how bad the economy is: instead of buying crablegs, the poor are buying Mountain Dew and Mars Bars. Thanks, Obama!

  • Dutchman

    Thanks Elliot Cutler…

  • JVisconti

    Next time some GOPer wrings their hands about the benefits of block granting fed funds to the states, you can slap them upside the head with votes.

  • Ezio

    How does he think he will get rid of a federal program?

    SNAP is federal isn’t it?

    • Mr. Lambert

      A theoretical president Trump would sue his own government to make it happen.

    • Ima Witstüp

      Deploy the national guard around grocery stores?

    • Justno

      But it’s administered by the states.

  • Cindyinencinitas

    Behold! Those cakes we like! And we aren’t sharing!

    • Msgr_Moment

      6? That’s one precocious Rethuglican.

  • say wha

    “…whatever the word is for a sociopath who is not at all charming.” I believe “Trump” is the word you are looking for Robyn. Trump.

  • BearGHAZI

    There really needs to be a Freaky Friday situation where LePage trades places with Smoothy or Shifty for a week. Maybe played by John Goodman and… Don Cheadle?

    • Suttree

      Only if it is released to MST3K first.

  • Mr. Lambert

    Let them eat war! That’s how to ration the poor. It’s an urgent need to feed declining pride.

  • Callyson

    Only when Washington politicians stop kowtowing to powerful retail grocer and junk food manufacturing interests will American taxpayers have a respectable food safety net.

    So Governor LePage will do his part to stand up against these interests by imposing a tax on junk food, which will discourage people from eating it and help reduce obesity? Good to know!

    Wait, what?

  • Seaside

    LePage, “America: these color don’t run!… or even get off the couch occasionally.”

  • Scooby

    Since he’s from Maine it would be inappropriate for him to rail against them eating lobster.

    • Suttree

      It supports the local economy so I’m pretty sure he’s against it.

  • Hollywooddeed

    Good. Nothing pisses me off more than hungry people eating.

  • Sardonicuss

    At first glance..he seems to be one who is well acquainted with “a steady diet of Mars bars and Mountain Dew.”

    • Suttree

      There cannot be a shortage in my supply!
      -Paul Lepage

    • beavertank

      But only the throwback kind. That real cane sugar is good for you, not like the sugar beet sugar or high fructose corn syrup. That’s the stuff that gives you the ‘betis.

    • onedollarjuana

      He is “fat and unhealthy” on the government’s dime!

  • Treg.Brown

    I always enjoy watching an obviously well fed older man dictate what poor children can and cannot eat. Seems to really uphold the melting pot, chicken in every pot American can-do attitude we hear so much about. In our history books.

    • Ezio

      “If you pull yourself up by your bootstraps maybe you could eat as well as I do”

      *rings servant bell*

  • limberrat

    Who cares about LePage. More Trump!

    • Suttree

      Trump/LePage 2016!!1111!!!

      • Ezio

        Dumb and Dumber 3: Road to the White House

  • Callyson

    The Obama Administration goes to great lengths to police the menus of K-12 cafeterias

    Yes, how dare the Obama administration! Who the hell are they to say that school lunches that are fed to children should be nutritious and healthy! IT’S CREEPING TOTALITARIANISM!!!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      It’s that Michelle person with her obscene notion that fruits and vegetables are good for you!

  • Bitter Scribe

    I think Trump has his vice president.

  • The new policy is that all poor people will be required to report to the EBT benefits center to receive their EBT cards and the required 40 lashes that go with it.

    Pregnant mothers, veterans, and the disabled will be spared the lash, but will have rotten fruit thrown at them on the way out.

    Schoolchildren receiving free lunches will likewise be spared the lash, but will have to stand in a separate line from their peers and wear a scarlet P identifying them as one of the poors.

    We are, after all, compassionate people.

    God bless you all.

    • Sardonicuss

      School children get the “Tramp stamp of food shame” for failure to pick rich parents.

      • Msgr_Moment

        I’m sorry. I misread that.

        • Creepoman

          That was one hell of a bet to lose.

        • Sardonicuss

          Well, I don’t see any potential for future shame and regret there at all…
          “Hey, baby…why do you have this solid black rectangle tatoo on your butt?”

          • Msgr_Moment

            I think Doggie and Reverse Cowgirl are pretty much out for me.

        • MsAnthropesMr

          Ahhh. Birth control.

    • harryr

      They did make the free school lunch kids stand in a different line until quite recently, round our way

    • Justno

      Howdy Lewiston!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I kind of like the GoT naked march of shame, myself. Only I would change the spitting and abuse to happy applause. Followed by a nice catered lunch.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Paul LePage cannot enjoy his twinkies if poors are eating them too.

    • Jeff in the desert

      He eats Oreos, too. A messican plot to obseify the ‘mericuns

      • Cindyinencinitas

        They seem to have embiggened him purty good.

  • Jeff in the desert

    Let me buy that man a beer…….oh wait…SNAP can’t be used for alcohol….

  • Ikimizi

    Of course, when Michelle Obama suggests that people should eat a bit healthier, it’s tyranny.

    • Jeff in the desert

      She suggested felafels and it was considered a terrorist plot…..

      • Villago Delenda Est

        She probably has some company that imports couscous and is making a mint off it, along with kicking back 10% to Daesh.

  • Cindyinencinitas

    Paul LePage, health nut, walking to the gym with Chris Christie, fitness nazi. How can they get through to the poors who are so woefully undereducated about healthy eating? He is fatter than Christie.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Please don’t mention “leading by example” because that is RIGHT OUT.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      These two understand ‘belt-tightening’ from the inside out.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    What fucking difference does it make what people spend their $117 on? It’s not like if they spend it all on foie gras they get more money. If they blow it, they get to eat less.

    I guess my bibles are all broke, ’cause I don’t remember Jebus saying “To fucketh the poor is not enough, thou must humiliate them as well.” Must be in 2 Corinthians.

    • James Christopher Owen

      In Luke, Commie Jesus said “Give to whoever asks and lend, expecting nothing in return”. Does that clear up how he got crucified?

  • janecita

    We need Trump to tell LePage, just like he told Christie, to lay off the Oreos.

  • Suttree

    Ah Maine, the Mississippi of the north!

    • elviouslyqueer

      HEY! Alabama libel, also too!

      • SnarkTank

        Not to mention Michigan and Wisconsin libul.

  • Jeff in the desert

    How about a 50% bonus for each healthy item a SNAP recipient chooses. That gives people more REAL food to eat? Huh, fatso?

    • natoslug

      Nah, that would encourage them to believe they deserved a little dignity.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    I don’t mean to be rude, but he should skip cake and other deserts for about a few years, looks like.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Meanwhile, Maine’s obesity rate has doubled in the past twenty years from 14 to 28 percent, and our incidence of diabetes has more than doubled, from 3.9 to 9.5 percent.

    This, from the poster child for gluttony and overconsumption.

    • JustPixelz
    • Malmborg Implano

      Sweet merciful crap, I had no idea. I’ve never seen a photo of him that showed anything below the chin.

      • elviouslyqueer

        You misspelled “chins,” darling.

      • Jon Sussex

        Which chin?

    • Bureaucrap

      Big round pot, meet Big round kettle.

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      A real-life game of “Hungry, Hungry Hippos” starring Paul LePage, Donny T, Chris Christie and Rush Limbaugh.

      • willi0000000

        snow in the four of them in a cabin for a day with no food . . . how many would come out?

    • Aquaria

      Good grief, I know thyroid patients who aren’t this fat.

    • Playonwords

      Trump, Christie and Le Page get on a 747 and drive down to rio

    • Biff52

      Seeing him side by side with a known very large person and seeing that he actually eclipses said very large person is quite enlightening.

    • SadDemInTex

      He makes Christie look slim by comparison!

  • Paperless Tiger

    How did anyone ever figure out what the fuck he’s talking about long enough to vote for him?

  • Spotts1701

    Maybe if poor people were fed only gruel, they would all just go out and get jobs that paid a living wage instead of livin’ off the dole!

    Gruel? Gruel? Well aren’t we Miss Fancypants! No, Governor LePage will ensure Maine poors get imitation gruel.

    • Ikimizi

      Imitation gruel- Now, that’s what I’d call luxury. In my day, we’d let the poor eat mud pies made by child labor, and on Saturdays we’d let them have the grass clippings after they mowed our lawns.

      • elviouslyqueer

        Grass clippings? That’s organic silage to you, sir or madam!

        • Biff52

          We could call it green manure, that’s more demeaning.

      • Aquaria

        This is what every Republiscum wants to go back to:

        http://images.art.com/images/products/regular/12443000/12443730.jpg

        My parents, normally smart and kind, had an etching of this from the 1870s in their dining room, of all places, until I told them what it was about. They were so horrified that they took it down and I never saw it again.

      • Biff52

        Where do you think you are, Haiti?

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Trump/LaPage 2016. A balanced ticket, Dumb and Fat and Dumb.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      LePage needs to get with the orange spray tan program, though.

      • Cindyinencinitas

        It’s very slimming…

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Dump/Dumper 2016.

  • MrBlobfish

    Mars bars are from England. Can this guy get anything straight?

    • BosGrl

      I think American Mars are different from British Mars… different inside.

      • Jeff in the desert

        You mean we are at war again with the UK over territory? I thought the US owned Mars….

        Or is it like the Virgin Islands?

        • Mr. Lambert

          I just learned more than I ever needed to know from the Mars Wikipedia page.

          Turns out it’s not a candy bar at all, but a planet. And a movie!

          • SnarkTank

            And they attack, but I have Slim Whitman on my iPod, so we’ll be safe.

          • Master Contrail Program

            Will you?

          • James Christopher Owen

            Fuck…cannot…unsee….

            Damn you.

          • SpideySenser

            The nightmares I will have tonight, Thanks, MCP.

          • Biff52
        • BosGrl

          From Wikipedia:

          Mars is a British chocolate bar. It was first manufactured in 1932 in Slough, Berkshire in the United Kingdom,[1] and was advertised to the trade as being made with “couverture” chocolate.

          In the United States, a different confection bore the Mars bar name.

          …The worldwide Mars bar differs from that sold in the US.[8] The American version was discontinued in 2002[9] and was replaced with the slightly different Snickers Almond
          featuring nougat, almonds, and a milk chocolate coating. Unlike the
          American Mars bar, however, Snickers Almond also contains caramel.[9] The US version of the Mars bar was relaunched in January 2010 and is initially being sold on an exclusive basis through Walmart
          stores. The European version of the Mars bar is also sold in some
          United States grocery stores. It was once again discontinued at the end
          of 2011.

          • MrBlobfish

            Can someone explain ‘nougat’ for me?

          • Msgr_Moment

            A crappy RWNJ guitarist from the 70s. Should be dead or in jail by now.

          • Antonin Dvorak

            …in the United States has nougat being made with butter, melted marshmallow, white chocolate, powdered milk, and peanuts, almonds, or pistachios.

            -Wikipedia

          • MrBlobfish

            All this candy talk is getting me hungry. Heading out for a Snickers. Anybody want anything?

          • orygoon

            Sounds like a very nearly perfect food.

          • arglebargle

            Ted Nougat?

            ETA: Gah! read first.

          • Biff52

            Xavier Nougat?

          • arglebargle

            The things you learn on Wonkette. With a Google assist.

          • Cindyinencinitas

            It’s whipped miracles that taste like honey.

        • Msgr_Moment

          We have always been at war with UKranus.

      • MrBlobfish

        British Mars bar is a Milky Way. The European version of Milky Way is a 3 Musketeers. Also, not to be confused with American candy giant Mars, Inc.

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      Have you seen him attempt logic? There is your answer.

  • chimichanga

    Even poor Charlie Bucket got to buy a candy bar.

    • Jeff in the desert

      But he was white and he cashed in his white privilege for a golden ticket. And WonkerBonkers gave him the factory…..

      Edit: Enslaving more umpa lumpas

  • TJ Barke

    Small government!

  • MrBlobfish

    Don’t mess with Big Sugar, Pauly.

  • Malmborg Implano

    “Eh-ya-ya-ya-yahaah—e’yayayayaaaa . . . ngh’aaaaa . . . ngh’aaaa . . . h’yuh . . . h’yuh . . . HELP! HELP! . . . ff—ff—ff—FATHER! FATHER! YOG-SOTHOTH! . . .”

  • Relativicus

    Because some people survive opiate overdoses and continue to use, there is a kernel of logic in his theory of overdoses. But that kernel is embedded in a 12-inch long, 4-inch thick, turd composed of equal parts humanity, spirituality, and soul.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Okay I’m going to say it- look to your own more than ample belly before ranting about how obese everyone else is, Paul “Planetoid” LePage….you are one fat motherfucker.

    • Andre

      Who knew that a steady diet of bile and rage bingeing would make you balloon up like that?

      • Hairstrike Alpha

        You know he eats all the pies on the weekend…just look at the physique. You could play a life sized version of “Hungry, Hungry Hippos” starring him, Trump, Chris Christie and Rush Limbaugh…

      • marxalot

        Pretty sure all that rage binging has hardened everything up, and his bile ducts are now blocked, which is causing the swelling. His gall bladder must be on danger money.

  • katz

    “The Obama Administration goes to great
    lengths to police the menus of K-12 cafeterias, but looks the other way
    as billions of taxpayer dollars finance a steady diet of Mars bars and
    Mountain Dew.”

    Gosh, it’s almost like one of these groups is children and the other group is adults.

  • Jay Vaughn

    No matter how funny you think the Breitbart comments about some story will be it’s not worth the awful.

    • Mr. Lambert

      I began cutting myself after a recent brief visit.

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      I only think their comments are funny when….actually, I never think their comments are funny. I’m sure their comments regarding this will be to bash black people….

      • Jay Vaughn

        And threaten to murder the president.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          same difference

    • Suttree

      Let me guess…….Something, something, Somali immigrants, and lazy libtards?

  • calliecallie

    “I suggest you start browsing the Maine classifieds for commercial real estate leases.”
    This is his economic develop proposal, make the feds come up they-ah to Maine and run they-ah own program, and pay rent on top of it. And you thought he was a idiot. Ha!

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    How edgy of you with your arm tattoo and sunglasses to put Paul LePage a known white man in his place, Robyn.

    • Spotts1701

      Very close…needs just a dollop more arrogance, good Sirrah.

      • Hairstrike Alpha

        I re-edited to put quotations around edgy….did that give it that notch that it needs?

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          go back and misspell a couple words- that should do it

        • Spotts1701

          There you go. It’s the little touches that make the recipe perfect!

  • Lefty Frizzell

    I presume part of the problem here is that food industry lobbyists have bribed all of the republicans to define junk food as healthy. What a pickle!

    • BosGrl

      You mean like Reagan saying ketchup is a vegetable?

      • Msmlg1979

        Never worked on my Mom either!

      • SpideySenser

        Well DUH! Tomatoes are a fruit.

  • Msmlg1979

    Our worthless excuse for a Governor, Pat Douchetaco McCrory, signed legislation this week allowing NC pharmacies to make Naloxone available without Rx, and allowing it to be carried by law enforcement to save people who are overdosing. When you are less compassionate and sensible than Pat McCrory, you are truly an epic fail of a human being.

    • Suttree

      Wow! That is unbelievable! Yay!

      • Msmlg1979

        Right?! I was thrilled and shocked.

      • Msmlg1979

        How is the job hunt going??

        • Suttree

          Nothing yet. :( I had 1 interview last week for something I wasn’t really interested in. It was installing lift gates on trucks. Never got a call back. I thought I convinced them I was interested! Something will pop up soon enough. I’m not picky right now.

          • Msmlg1979

            Damn. I was hoping you had found something. I’m also hoping, when it happens, it’s better than something you aren’t interested in!

          • Suttree

            Thank you! I appreciate your concern. Sometimes it takes a few weeks. I’ll probably have the Hungarian call me back as soon as I find something. LOL

          • Msmlg1979

            I hope so. You liked that gig.

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      Don’t worry he’s letting Duke Energy dump coal ash right into your reservoir to save them a buck transporting it.

      • DantesE

        we have a municipally own power, sewer and water company. They buy a higher grade coal. This saves on things like sulfur that has to be taken out, crushes easily for more efficient burning and heat production. The extra added bonus is that the high grade low sulfur ash is used as an additive to high strength concert. Cement companies actually bid on hauling the ash away. All this more than makes up for the added cost of high grade coal.
        Sorry as my son says too much nerd.

        • Hairstrike Alpha

          That’s interesting but it has nothing to do with my joke….look up Duke Energy and the coal ash pond disaster in North Carolina a few years ago. It’s a really aggravating read because McCrory is not just an empty suit but an ex-exec so of course Duke Energy got let off the hook without even a slap on the wrist….

          • Cindyinencinitas

            Pretty sure Rachel has covered that extensively.

        • glasspusher

          Interesting, but gotta say, coal is not the way forward.

          • Blank Ron

            Hey, if it was good enough for the 18th century it should be good enough for the 21st!

          • Dudleydidwrong

            Vote T-Rump and go ass backward to the future. Trump/LePage!

    • Jeff in the desert

      I am surprised there isn’t a 24 hour waiting period….

      • Msmlg1979

        I’m surprised there’s not a “Can’t be used on a trans person” stipulation.

      • SnarkTank

        Plus you need an intrusive probing, and a note from your preacher.

    • Justno

      Wow! I am so happily surprised!

    • Logic of Color

      A real “battle of the bastards” eh?

      • Msmlg1979

        They are gonna have to try harder if they want to out-bastard Rick Snyder.

        • James Christopher Owen

          Pretty high bar there. I’m thinking they’d have to shoot a homeless kid in the street then pee on its corpse.

          I’m gonna just go die now, if it’s all the same to ya’ll…

          • Msmlg1979

            Oh, no! No dying!

  • anwisok
    • Hairstrike Alpha

      That first picture was of a rape!

      • Cindyinencinitas

        Um, I think they’re doing it wrong, though… Idk, I’m no expert…

        • Hairstrike Alpha

          Well what do you expect, they’re both juveniles….the point is clearly that cat is violating that poor, helpless dog….

          • Cindyinencinitas

            Aaah, passion. So wanton…

    • Msgr_Moment

      Physicist: “Consider a spherical piglet.”

      • Sardonicuss

        He seems to be doing that, and is quite pleased with the thought.

  • monoglot

    Another addition to Petty LePage’s Greatest Hits…

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    I will glady pay you Tuesday for a Mars Bar today….

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Wow, a walk down memory lane there. There used to be a hamburger chain called Wimpy’s. I miss it.

      • Blank Ron

        Still is, though it might not be the same chain as the old one.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          They were everywhere in Europe in the days before McDonald’s expanded. Starving college students backpacking around Europe always ate at Wimpy’s. I don’t know what the hamburgers were made out of there, and I didn’t ask. The rumor mill said they were horse meat. The last time I visited Europe, I did not see any Wimpy’s, but McDonald’s was everywhere.

          • Blank Ron

            Okay, definitely not the same one. The ex spent a couple of years in Europe and ate there a LOT.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Paul LePage wants a government so small we can all see him sneering at us with lobbyist paid-for champagne and contempt from the top of it.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Paul LePage is American Rob Ford…minus the crack smoking, for now.

  • fawkedifiknow

    I think the word you are looking for, for a “sociopath who is not at all charming” is “Donald Trump.” It’s “Paul Ryan” in Irish, or “Mitch McConnell” in Scottish.

  • Mavenmaven

    In other words, he’s still upset that it was possible for a black child to buy Skittles and Iced Tea without being shot.

  • natoslug

    I’d like to say something nice and snarky, but fuck you, LePage. I was a food stamp kid, and it wasn’t assholes like yourself making lives miserable that got my parents and me off of food stamps, but education and opportunity (and a bit of being able to stretch the food budget by raiding the dumpsters behind Safeway for whatever was still edible). So once gain, fuck you LePage, you fucking sack of hate and stupid. You’re even grosser than the little maggots in the almonds of a Hershey’s almond milk chocolate bar. Hmmm . . . maybe now I understand why I don’t eat milk chocolate . . .

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Education and opportunity are only for those who have rich parents. Don’t you know that?

      • natoslug

        This was pre-Reagan, so I was lucky. America was still pretending to be a land of opportunity rather than the land of fuck you I got mine.

        • Biff52

          We were on food assistance in the Truman, Eisenhower, Kennedy and Johnson administrations. Had to drive thirty miles to the county seat to get gummint surplus food. None of those fancy stamps back then, other than S&H Green Stamps or Blue Chip…

          • Angela Ruzzo

            My grandparents lived that way for 35 years after my grandfather was disabled in a mining accident in 1930. They also had no car, no central heat, no AC, no indoor plumbing, no phone, no TV, until the day they died in 1965. My parents bought them a fridge and washing machine, or they wouldn’t have had those either. The county seat where they handed out a little bit of free food was 12 miles away. Surely we can do better than that today.

  • Playonwords

    Perhaps he will be Donnie’s running mate if Michele backs down

  • cousin itt

    Of course, cereals, ice cream, juices, jams, cookies are all sugar free.

  • chadingo

    looks to me like guv mucilage is a large part of the Maineiac obesity stat

  • Beowoof14

    Paul LePage, trying once again to act tough on the poors, sort of a douche bag version of Paulie Walnuts from the Sopranos.

  • BosGrl

    This is the kind of shit that encourages people to humiliate others in the checkout line at the WalMart SuperStore. I’ve been in a furious mood all day but this is the worst. These fucking people.

    • TJ Barke

      People is kind of charitable, don’t you think?

      • BosGrl

        Because when I think about that video with the father on line with his little daughter in the cart and that fucking bitch saying those awful things to him I get VERY STABBY. I know I am naive. I know I am socially awkward and don’t understand others well. But WHY would anyone berate someone for feeding their family, even if it was Fluff and Lil Hugs.

        • TJ Barke

          Because pricks.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          You are not naive. You are not socially awkward. You have empathy and respect for others. Why would someone do this awful thing? Because they cannot STAND to see someone else get something for free that they don’t get. And I’ll bet you $1 that those same people cheat on their taxes.

          • BosGrl

            Thank you

          • Angela Ruzzo

            You’re welcome.

    • Shan

      I was in line behind someone at a convenience store one time who was paying with food stamps. The clerk pointed out that they couldn’t include their purchase of cat food in what was covered. And then added snottily: “UNLESS YOU’RE GOING TO EAT IT YOURSELF!”

      I was too young and shy to do anything except be silently appalled. Nowadays, not having many fucks to give, I would have had seriously flamed the clerk. Or just paid for the customer’s cat food myself.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    You can practically tell Paul LePage was stuffing his face when he wrote that…you can almost smell the congealed gravy mixed in with the hypocrisy and “well I never!” contempt.

  • AnOuthouse

    The needy people whio come to the soup kitchen I help out always take all the fresh produce first. They leave the high carb stuff (macaroni, etc). Go figure.

    • Biff52

      Doing poor wrong, obvs.

  • marxalot

    This.
    This is why we can’t have nice things.
    Hey! Cat’s Arse! We are trying to have a civilization here!

    • Angela Ruzzo

      We are? Where? Tell me, so I can move there.

  • jenny_whyme
    • BosGrl

      Aha – you see, this is what it’s all about. Wife has to work so LePage can afford his Little Debbie’s and wife can get her car, filthy poors get dessert for free NOT FAIR!!!

    • I Only Like Cats

      What’s the most interesting thing to me is he says his daughter received $28/hr as a restaurant server, so does he think that’s reflective of the actual job market wage…?

      • handyhippie65

        so he’s a liar, and a evil piece of shit? whoda thunk it.

    • Biff52

      If she wants a McLaren P1, I would suggest she contact Lori here @wonkette

      • handyhippie65

        fuck lori, and her matchbox car.

    • “In March, Governor LePage proposed increasing the salary for future
      governors from $70,000 to $150,000. It would be the first raise for
      Maine’s governor since 1987.” Because, of course he did.

      • jenny_whyme

        It wouldn’t apply to him, though…

        Fortunately, he’s term limited.

  • Cindyinencinitas

    In his speech he pits the fruit and vegetable people against each other when he shows their stats. Vegetable consumption at 31% and fruit consumption at 36%. If he could get the fruit people in his communications office, he might be able to rehabilitate his image some day.

    • natoslug

      Who are all the fruits? Based on the PETA ads Wonkette used to run, I know Courtney speaks for the vegetables.

    • Playonwords

      When you’re walking home tonight and some homicidal maniac comes after you with a bunch of loganberries, don’t come crying to me!

      • natoslug

        I’m more worried about bananas. They work as a gun AND a boomerang.

        • willi0000000

          that’s because they were perfectly designed to fit the human hand.

          • nmmagyar

            …and naughty places

          • Cindyinencinitas

            Is that where you keep your loganberries?

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Is that why we have opposable thumbs?

        • Biff52

          You forgot fun sexytimes!

  • I’d like to see that letter before the spell-check. I have a hard time believing that LePage can spell anything more than 4 letters long.

    • Shan

      “FUCK THE POOR MAKE THEM EAT RAMEN!”

      (edit) Okay, that last one had five letters, but still…

      • Ramen has all the nutritional value of a hunk of plastic covered with MSG. BUT for some reason no one complains about poor people buying it. Maybe because it’s gross.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      There are spell checkers that work with crayon?

      • natoslug

        He rewrote it in crayon after the first draft written in his own feces?

  • Treg.Brown

    I’m waiting to hear what that other food stamp kid Ben Carson has to say.

    • BosGrl

      Oh he has his now.

  • Seems to me it’s not just SNAP recipients getting fat and unhealthy on the public dime.

    • Quercus

      Yeah, Paul Lepage looks a bit pudgy.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      It doesn’t really have anything to do with “the public dime.” Americans in general are getting fat and unhealthy. I went to a neighbor’s funeral last week. There were 150 people there, 125 of whom were morbidly obese. None of them were on welfare as far as I know.

      • all very true, but my comment was meant to indict pudgy lepage himself.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          You are right, and he is definitely NOT Mr. String Bean. More like Mr. Potato Head.

  • chicken thief

    Some Maine legislator needs to propose similar legislation to qualify for tax deductions like that nice lady in WI did.

  • Rufus T. Firefly

    My opponent in this race is bought and paid for by Big Junk Food!

    Firefly 2016! Re-engreaten Freedonia!

  • Duke

    I’d go with no Little Debbi’s with food stamps.

    The sad truth is that unhealthy foods are often cheap and satisfying.

    • BosGrl

      Why should a poor person not get a damned Little Debbie’s? Is it like punishment to be poor?

      • Shan

        I honestly think that’s the idea.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          That is exactly the idea.

      • Skwerl King

        Little Debby is the gateway whore to heroin and Connecticut gangs raping your daughter!

      • Astraea

        Obviously if being poor was really hard in the first place, then they’d get themselves out of poverty with their boostraps and small million-dollar loans from daddy.

        • Biff52

          True. If being poor was easy, everybody would be doing it.

      • Duke

        It’s only a punishment in comparison to not being poor.

        I was half-joking in that those things are terrible for you. I do think that people who get support from the government can be expected to use that support wisely and in ways that reflect the intents of the society that provides them. This is why vouchers for schools can be used at approved schools and not schools with laypeople teaching or that have an overtly religious focus.

        For food stamps it’s entirely fair to say it needs to be used for foods that are more nutritious and not unhealthy snack foods and soda. If you’ve never been in a grocery line in a place where there are regulations like that, the people buy their snacks with their own cash and pay for “real” food with their government money. Fine.

        • Biff52

          Ever been in a food desert? I’ve seen parts of towns where you can’t buy anything but crap, and if you don’t eat that, you eat nothing. Unless you have a car and can drive five miles to spend your $36 monthly allotment. Otherwise, as a pedestrian, you ain’t going nowhere.

        • BosGrl

          Where does it end? If I get welfare, can I only buy orthopedic shoes or am I allowed heels? Those are terrible for my hamstrings. Sulfates are bad for my hair. Do I have to buy that expensive sulfate-free shampoo or am I allowed to buy VO5 from the dollar store?

          You grant poor people X amount of dollars per month for food (X will never fill you up, by the way). By all means, educate them on nutrition if you like. But do not stand over them and tell them what they can eat. It’s like dictating what the homeless person can do with the 50 cents you threw into their cup.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          No, it is not fair. Nobody has the right to tell anyone what they can and cannot eat. Nobody tells you what to do with your income tax refund. I know a person who spent their entire federally-guaranteed college loan on lottery tickets, and nobody said a word about it except to call him stupid because he didn’t win anything. If he had won, they would have thought he was one smart dude.

          • Duke

            A tax refund is what I earned in the first place. And I usually owe.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Most people on welfare are hardworking, taxpaying citizens, just like the rest of us. Or they are impoverished elders or folks with disabilities who worked hard at low-paying jobs for many years and do not qualify for juicy pensions. They “earned” welfare too. Most of the rest are children, who “earned” welfare simply by being born into poverty in the US. I would not want to live in a country that let its youngest citizens go hungry.

        • CripesAmighty

          I’ll have some sanctimonious, bourgeois, Checkout-Line-Nutrition-And-Food-Virtue-Monitor finger-wagging with my Mrs. Paul’s and Cheez Doodles, please.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Yes, it is.

    • Playonwords

      Little Debbie Does Damariscotta doesn’t sound right

      • Duke

        Is that one of those ancient Greek plays?

    • Jukesgrrl

      Yep. I eat a $1.59 bag of Doritos and I don’t even WANT dinner.

  • I miss the days when I was on SNAP and could regularly buy Sugar-Frosted Lobster Steak. Having money sucks!

    • Skwerl King

      Sugar-Frosted Lobster Steak, eh? Hey, Minnesota! We got another new State Fair food to try!

      Move over Candied Bacon Donut Sliders and Spam Sushi!

      http://www.mnstatefair.org/fun/16_new_food/

      • Doug Langley

        Oh . . . my . . . dear . . . sweet . . . Lord. WHY did I click on that? WHY???!!

        • Cindyinencinitas

          We have deep fried pizza this year at the San Diego fair.

          • Doug Langley

            That just made my statin medicine run screaming from the room.

          • Left Coast Tom

            Aren’t you supposed to have wine competitions at county fairs?

          • Cindyinencinitas

            We do, but that’s on the other side of the fairgrounds. There are some fancy things, but it’s mostly a junk fest and rides that make you barf.

    • Doug Langley

    • meanlawyermom

      Best comment of the day!

  • JVisconti

    thinly veiled attempt to boost Trump steak sales in Maine.

  • chiefkurtz

    The fuck? There are breakfast cereals and yoghurt with higher sugar percentages than soda.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      There is sugar in almost everything. Also high fructose corn syrup. Also lots of salt and preservatives. All equally bad for you. God help you if you are poor and have Celiac Disease – there is wheat gluten in almost every packaged or canned product in the supermarket.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    Where I hope republicans go wrong is assuming that everybody votes like an MBA – on their own monthly bottom line and nothing else.

    I’ve never received foodstamps in my life and never expect to – and I think it’s a great program that should be expanded, and I don’t give a fuck if somebody buys a crab leg with it every once in a while.

    There is no shame in receiving food stamps.

    It is the shame of an entire nation and one could hardly think of a more damning indictment of the system they worship than that food stamps are necessary.

    • James Christopher Owen

      But food stamps aren’t necessary. Take ’em away and goldbricking shits will either get a job or starve to death.

      Disclaimer: The preceding snark does not reflect the actual opinion of the person who wrote it. Because it can be hard to tell these days… :/

  • Bitter Scribe

    “Billions in wasted taxpayer dollars that buy candy and soda”?

    I’m going to buy stock in Coca-Cola, PepsiCo, Hershey and Nestle.

  • Will in Pgh

    Pfft. I sold my ben’fits for 50 cents on the dollar for cigarettes and Colt 40. Ain’t gonna waste ’em on sody pop.

    • Biff52

      I’ve had more people come up to me in the supermarket parking lot offering exactly that than actual panhandlers.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Me too. I give them cash. My friends scream and howl when I do this – “They’ll just buy liquor or cigs with it!” I don’t give a damn what they buy with it.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      You remind me of something that has bothered me for decades. Why aren’t poor people entitled to have a perfectly legal vice or two? Rich people have lots of them. Rich people don’t care if the tax on a pack of cigarettes or a 6-pack goes up to $10, because they are rich, but this devastates poor people. And then poor people have children and are criticized for doing so, but they won’t let Medicaid pay for abortions, so how does that make sense? It really does look like they hate and despise poor people and don’t think they are human and would rather they all just died.

  • I Only Like Cats

    1) Why didn’t you say Reign of Terror (or something along those lines) because that was a common thing for nobles of the time period to say (she didn’t because she was nicer but kept very ignorant) 2) If he really wanted to help the obesity epidemic he would encourage subsidies to real farmers and decrease subsidies to corn and wheat producers and meat conglomerates, he just wants to screw over poors, and 3) he can go screw himself (and voters should vote for him to screw himself), because that’s literally not how anything works.

  • Aquaria

    If they’re diabetic, they may need to keep some sugary sweets on hand, for when their blood glucose drops below 70mg/dl. For most diabetics, getting a tablespoon of pure sugar, or drinking some fruit juice or eating some fruit will work, but if the drop is fast enough and drops low enough, they may need a faster-release sugar to get them stable again. Enter: Soda and candy. Candy is an especially good choice because it doesn’t go bad as quickly as juice, and it’s not as messy to keep in a purse or pocket.

    My grandmother was diabetic, and she never went anywhere without a tube of LifeSavers in her purse.

    • BosGrl

      Oh good thing she didn’t try to buy it in the CVS with an EBT card, the mob would have pulled her to pieces.

      • Aquaria

        Well, she did die over 20 years ago, so there’s that.

        • BosGrl

          I’m sorry :(

          • Aquaria

            Eh, she lived a very long life–she was 92 when she died.

  • Bitter Scribe

    So the Obama administration is tyrannically insisting on healthy food in school cafeterias while also “kowtowing to…junk food manufacturer interests.” Oooo-kay.

  • Best I can tell from his Wikipedia page, the only kind of government assistance Governor LePage likes is the kind that only benefits Paul LePage, like when Republican state representatives pressure private colleges to give you special privileges so you can pass their admissions exam.

    • Jukesgrrl

      And don’t forget about the in-state university tuition his kids are getting in Florida. They qualify because he’s declared his Florida home to be his primary residence even though he’s governor of Maine. Why the people of Maine put up with these insults (he was RE-elected a couple of cycles ago!), I’ll never understand.

      • Pondlady

        The majority of us didn’t elect him twice. Both times there was an Independent running as a spoiler. He only got 39% of the vote the first time and 48% the second. Mane does not have ranked choice voting or recall laws!! He is the worst governor this state has every had.

        • James Christopher Owen

          Wait, he got more votes the SECOND time around?!. Reminds me of the Dennis Leary joke (bear with me here):

          Dead Babe Ruth: I’m up here in heaven with Lou Gehrig. Poor guy, died of Lou Gehrig’s disease. How the hell did he not see that one comin’?

  • chascates

    I get SNAP benefits. I qualify for $32 a month. That is because I make $200 a week, live in what is essentially a 125sq shed against a barn with a flush toilet and no other running water. I have a fridge, a window A/C, and my laptop, a microwave and an FM radio. I eat mainly processed foods I can nuke, sandwiches, breakfast cereal, and fruit. I just got back from the grocery store (30+ miles away in my 1992 pickup that won’t go over 55mph, has a radiator leak, and has no spare tire) and I did pickup THREE 2L bottles of A&W 10, the only diet soft drink that doesn’t taste vile but is a real treat coming in from working outside (currently 94 with a heat index of 106).
    I suggest Gov. Page try that lifestyle for a while and see whether the occasional soda or candy bar is a treat or not. And all politicians take money from food interests, from Monsanto to General Mills, and the use of sugar and fat is in almost everything processed food we eat.

    • beavertank

      A flush toilet AND A/C? Living in the lap of luxury, I see…

    • Bitter Scribe

      Ouch. Hugs. Hope your salary and/or living situation improves soon.

      • chascates

        It’ll improve somewhat in September. That’s when I get my first Social Security check (at age 62) for $1,007! After a couple of months of that being withheld to pay off my student loan and the $1,000 I owe in 1099 taxes (for the 2 years I earned about $6500 each) I’ll make enough to qualify for an ACA healthcare supplement. In Texas, if you don’t make at least $1,000 a month you get no insurance help.
        So yeah, the future is so bright I have to take a statin, a blood pressure med, an SSRI, etc. etc.

        • Quercus

          But do you have to wear shades?

          It’s a damn shame you’re not getting more than $1007/m0. And those taxes. Isn’t there a way around them?

          • chascates

            Death is the only way out! Or becoming rich. Becoming rich would work.

          • Quercus

            I guess since it’s a govt check you can’t stop them from taking a portion of it. Your income was so low, it just seemed you should be able to add up your expenses and make the point that you could only afford to pay some amount less than a thousand. The IRS makes deals like that all the time.

          • chascates

            I’m find with them taking the entire thing to get it paid off sooner. I still have my $200 a week gig and I’ve only made that much for about 6 months. For the 4 years previously I worked for $150 a week and the first two years of that I worked 7 days a week.

        • Bitter Scribe

          In Texas, if you don’t make at least $1,000 a month you get no insurance help.

          Wait, what?

          They deny you insurance if you don’t make enough money? WTF? Do they think that if you’re really poor, you won’t get sick?

          • chascates

            In Democratically-run areas state Medicaid takes care of people who fall below that limit but Texas doesn’t have Medicaid because Jesus.

          • Parchment Scroll

            You get an exemption so you don’t get fined for not being insured when tax time rolls around. If you’re lucky (which I am), your low income will qualify you for Lone Star Circle of Care – a discount program that gets you medical care for $10-30 you can’t afford per visit. On top of that, if you’re really poor, you can get MAP which is insurance that basically works in tandem with Lone Star Circle of Care to cut that down to basically nothing. But qualifying is a pain.

          • yeah chascates is correct. the states that expanded medicaid (blue states + 1 or 2 outliers who saw a good deal and took it) allow you to get tax credits and cost sharing if you don’t qualify for medicaid (say, because you’re on a green card under 5 years). in the states that DIDN’T expand (the usual suspects and in fact jesus), you qualify for tax credits from 100-138% FPL (138% is the medicaid cutoff – 16K for a household of 1) but not under 100% of FPL. the very poorest people. we think this has something to do with the way the ACA was written (perhaps separate fund allocations?) but it’s utterly shameful. it’s called the medicaid gap.

            course these are simple congressional fixes if anyone cared.

            (i’m a federal hc navigator so i take tests on this and a million other tedious facts every 10 months).

        • JackLinks

          Only 25% of your SS check can be garnished for back taxes! I know because it took 8 years to pay back the $6600 I owed in back taxes! By the time I had paid it back I paid almost $10,000!

    • Biff52

      I hope you’re paying taxes on all that, ya taker.

      • chascates

        No, I’m a scofflaw. That $200 a week is totally under the table. If it’s any consolation the couple I work for don’t make enough to pay income tax and they only have insurance for their baby because they qualify for CHIP.
        I owe the IRS a grand only because my past employer claimed me as a contract worker.

        • Biff52

          I worked on 1099s for a spell. It was supposed to help me at tax time, but it only really helped the guy I worked for. I could deduct a lot of things, but not enough to make a go of being an independent contractor.

          • chascates

            That’s why so many full-time jobs in years past have now transformed into contract or temp work. Good for employers, not so much for employees.

          • mailman27

            The 1099 is the biggest scam that nobody’s talking about. Prolly has something to do with media conglomerates 1099-ing all their work out, who knows?

    • Angela Ruzzo

      And I bet a lot of middle-class white people think you are ripping off the government entitlement programs in some way. I hear that from my neighbors all the time – they simply cannot TOLERATE knowing that someone else is getting something for free that they don’t get.

      • chascates

        “Getting something for free that they don’t get” is the key issue. If they knew me and my situation, my work history, etc. I’m sure they would be more accepting. It’s just the idea of someone getting free food, even if it’s only $32 a month in my case, must be galling to someone who assumes his federal taxes support layabouts and foreigners and not hard-working, God-fearing people such as himself.
        I would tell him his taxes go predominately in the support of large corporations, military adventures, and the extremely wealthy. Working poor such as myself don’t live as long as the middle class and usually die before costing the healthcare system much. Our taxes don’t pay for much but then we don’t have any choices. That’s what poverty is: you have no choices. You have to take whatever healthcare that is offered, even when it is none. You have to rely on unreliable vehicles, or marginal mass transit, or the charity of friends to get around. You don’t have choices for education or housing, just accepting the least undesirable of a few choices.
        And I suppose the worse fear of all is that whites are becoming a minority. When people of color drive better cars, live in nicer homes, and have achieved success they can’t blame themselves or the system; the culprit is the ‘other’.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          Some of the problems you mention do vary by location. I live in a college town in central Missouri, we have a good bus system, a local Food Bank, a state-supported hospital that is required to provide affordable health care, several good health clinics quite close to the low income neighborhoods, there is plentiful Section 8 housing, much of it good quality, and so forth. I have friends in rural Louisiana in a situation similar to yours, and they have no access to any of these things. I have another friend who lived in Florida who just moved back to Missouri because she became permanently disabled, and in Florida they would not give her Medicaid, but in Missouri they will. There shouldn’t be such discrepancies from state to state.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Is there a Food Bank near you, and would you qualify for their assistance? I volunteer at my local Food Bank and we give away a LOT of food, but there are always more people who need it than we can help.

      • chascates

        There are a couple but I think there are a lot of people worse off than I am. The USDA has a program where you are given a voucher for $30 for a ‘season’ of produce at farmers’ markets. That’s $30 for fruits and vegetables from May through October. Our local food center actually will double that to $60, but that produce is more expensive than regular grocery store fare, and my employers, current and just past, earn their living selling at farmers markets. The farm I’m at currently working for raises duck eggs and duck meat. I’m welcome to duck eggs but that meat pays for my wages. And is pretty rich for my system to boot. Over the years I’ve learned how to raise meat and vegetables, how to process, store, and cook them. I’m just hoping for a little area to ‘run out the clock’ and homestead a little.

    • James Christopher Owen

      It is appalling that public assistance levels have dropped so low. Where are Democratic when social welfare programs are getting pummeled? Oh wait. Helping with the pummelling.

      My bad. Carry on.

  • There should be some Chrome/Firefox extension that takes an elected’s name and places “number of days until we can vote their ass out of office” next to it. Can somebody make that so?

    • nmmagyar

      I vote for Shy to do it, he’s the resident tech guy

      • handyhippie65

        like he doesn’t have enough to do now.

        • nmmagyar

          pffft. Toddlers practically raise themselves. Don’t they?

          • JH Marx

            HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

  • FlownOver

    “…he will shut down the state’s SNAP program if the federal government won’t let him enact these restrictions, and the federal government will just have to run that themselves.”
    To which the Maine beneficiaries responded “Oh, Nooo! Please don’t throw me in that briar patch!”

    Query: Can one buy lightly salted, poisoned rat dicks with SNAP benefits? Somebody might wanna send Paulie a big bunch.

    • shallot

      These hungry kids do grow up and learn to read about stingy politicians. Something he hasn’t considered.

  • Bring back the government cheese wheels and crackers!

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Whole wheat crackers only! And none of that sea salt business. The poors need their iodine!

      • Cindyinencinitas

        And don’t forget that gluten makes us weepy.

      • mailman27

        Plenty of iodine available in canned clams.

    • Jukesgrrl

      I trust it will be cedar cheese.

    • Doug Langley

      And prune juice?

      • BosGrl

        That’s only for warriors, remember??

  • Indiepalin

    Keith Richards has a funny story about Mars bars.

    • BosGrl

      Well? You don’t expect us to look it up ourselves do you :)?

  • Latverian Diplomat

    It’s time for the federal government to wake up and smell the energy drinks.

    This is what a stupid person thinks snark sounds like.

  • Biff52

    See what happens when you vote for a sociopath, poors?

    • JMP

      Actually, this is more “see what happens when you vote for a third party vanity candidate, so-called “liberals” who care more about your smug self-satisfaction than the actual people harmed by conservative policy?”

      • Left Coast Tom

        …and “see what happens when, having failed to learn from the first time, you do the very same thing again in the next election”.

        • James Christopher Owen

          Insanity…what was it again?

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Don’t blame the poors – the state probably closed most of the polling places in the poor neighborhoods, or gave them fewer voting machines, half of which were broken.

      • Biff52

        Trust me, I don’t.

      • jenny_whyme

        We don’t have voting machines… paper ballots are mandated by law. We love our recounts.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          I wish we still had paper ballots. I keep waiting for a big storm on election day, the power fails, and nobody can vote. We had such a storm last night – but it wasn’t election day.

  • Parchment Scroll

    Having been on food stamps, I have to say that the real problem is that cheap meat tends to have a lot less nutritional value than expensive meat, but there’s never enough on the EBT card for the good meat, so you end up with tubes of ground turkey and die a little inside.

    • BosGrl

      And big jars of peanut butter because it’s filling.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Considering all the chemicals they feed the livestock in this country, I’m not sure that any of our meat has much nutritional value. But you make a very good point. There was a good documentary on PBS about homeless families with young children, and they ate a lot of very cheap frozen pizzas, which have the nutritional value of cardboard.

      • Not to mention the cheap (and filling) things like the store brand mac and cheese boxes. Not a lot of nutritional value there, but definitely cheap.

      • Cindyinencinitas

        I love gas station microwave burritos but I have a choice and I get a sad when I think about all the kids in this country who don’t.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          Here’s an interesting thing. I can’t eat gluten, so no bread. But I ate a hamburger at McDonald’s a few months ago because I had a craving. I did not have a reaction. Do you think maybe their buns are not real bread? What could they be, spun glucose?

          • efoveks

            Usually, it’s people who are gluten sensitive made ill by products labeled “gluten free” that aren’t!

            Ironic AND scary (although I’m glad you didn’t get sick)

          • Cindyinencinitas

            That’s so crazy. Gotta be some exotic, GMO, gluten-free, mirror image of grain that is indigestible.

          • wavicles

            Soylent green is people!

          • Angela Ruzzo

            That crossed my mind, LOL. Great movie. I have often wondered why nobody has remade it.

  • JackLinks

    LePage will run into Karma one of these day’s and it won’t be a pretty site!

    • Damian L

      Everytime he looks in a mirror he gets a little Karmic view.

      • Dudleydidwrong

        If he goes back-to the mirror and bends over he gets a good view of himself, however.

  • handyhippie65

    he hates poor people so much he is going to stop doing his job? you have to wonder who would vote for this individual.

  • BeverlyCrusher’sWig

    If Gov LePage wants people to eat better then he should increase people’s benefits not lessen or get rid of them. Candy bars are bad for you (although I eat them so if someone wants one I really couldn’t care less) but it’s also far cheaper to fill your belly with those or other processed foods then to buy the stuff that’s better for you. And that’s without getting into a big discussion about who even has access to “good” foods.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      a: I like your av and b: This exactly.

  • JMP

    Do Mars bars even still exist? I haven’t seen one of those since the 80s.

    • Parchment Scroll

      Preeeeeetty sure they do.
      Yes they do, but… Why is there an age gate?
      http://marsbar.com

      • JMP

        But that’s an image of a 3 Musketeers bar – which for some reason are called Mars Bars in the UK. The company which makes them, Snickers and other chocolates is still called Mars, but I don’t think they make the bars called Mars Bars anymore, though they still use that name over in the UK, and that’s a UK-oriented page.

        • Parchment Scroll

          Nope. A Mars Bar is very similar to a 3 Musketeers bar, but it has caramel where a 3 Musketeers bar does not.

          • BosGrl
          • Parchment Scroll

            1) I haven’t had a Mars bar in thirty years (more a Snickers guy — yeah, yeah, same company, I know)
            2) I don’t comparison shop with other countries because what the hell kind of person does that?!

            Seriously, though, that was interesting. When I stumble on that part of YouTube, I stick around for a few minutes, but not much longer or my ADHD will kick in and I’ll never leave.

          • david spikes

            Not because I is an olds, you understands, but candy bars do not have the same goods as when I was a youngs. Go figure.

    • efoveks

      Yes. I found them just recently at Valley Fair in San Jose.

  • guppy06

    looks the other way as billions of taxpayer dollars finance a steady diet of Mars bars and Mountain Dew

    Uh-huh. Sounds like someone is in the pocket of Big RC/Moon Pie.

  • Riggsveda

    Ah, the scourge of obesity rears its convenient head yet again. If LePage so hates the idea of people getting fat on the public tit, he can just resign his obese ass from the governorship right now and be a role model. Then his buddy Chris Christie can follow suit. Fat suit, that is! Hah! I’ll be here all week.

  • Damian L

    Ok,what the hell is Gruel?

    • Shan

      Think Oliver Twist.

    • Cindyinencinitas

      Malt O Meal for the poors.

    • Shoto

      “May I please have another trickle-down, sir?”

    • CynicalOptimist

      See either Oliver or Willy Wonka, specifically the ‘poors eating’ sequences.

    • Riggsveda

      Basically a hot cereal of any number of types of grains (often oatmeal) thinned down with water until it could practically be drunk rather than eaten.

  • piaqt

    “whatever the word is for a sociopath who is not at all charming.” SHPOS.

  • kareemachan

    Wonder if he ever gave that dog to the woman who was supposed to adopt it? Probably not.

  • proudgrampa

    This asshole is a reminder of the maxim that a people deserve the government they get.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      uh uh. No one deserves this fucker.

      • Delu

        Those that cote for him do.

      • Shoto

        Actually, I’m thinking Paul Ryan might deserve him, but I take your point.

  • Jen_Baker_VA

    Maine, you fix this. You fix this right now.

    • cat cafe

      Yes. We’ve had just enough of this, Maine. It’s time you started behaving like a proper State, like California. Why can’t you be more like California?

      • JustDon’tSayDittos

        Well for one thing, no Dungeness crab.

        • Leftykook

          Sokay, they got lobstahs….

    • bubbuhh

      Maine is in the grip of a Koch Bros bought and paid for legislature. Even they can’t stand LePage, so they mostly ignore him while trying drown Maine’s government in a bathtub, cuz liberty.

      Unless, of course, they want amuse themselves by having him write a letter to big gummint.

  • Jay

    Mars bars?

    Bitch, do you even know what country you’re in?

  • Oneofthebobs

    Maybe LePage ought to spend some of his government check on a nutritionist. He doesn’t look well, and he seems to have some pretty wild mood swings.

  • bubbuhh

    LePage as Trunip’s running mate? He would help gnarl down the white supremacist vote.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Good idea, in that when that ticket gets drowned in votes the national and Maine scene would be rid of both of them. Gov. Library Paste could go back to his rip-off job and Trump could just continue to be the old asswipe that he has always been.

    • shallot

      He desperately wants the attention from a VP pick.

  • Iam Reading

    2 facts. LaPuke is an asshole. Sugar is evil.

    • Shoto

      And prolly vice versa, also, too.

  • Robert Weiler

    I have no use for LePage but contrary to what the USDA claims, it isn’t all that hard to figure out what healthy food is; if it comes in a box, bag, or wrapped in plastic and it isn’t refrigerated, it probably isn’t all that healthy. The real problem is that due to USDA farm policies, the healthy stuff costs a lot more than the unhealthy stuff. [Edit: obligatory rant on not so healthy stuff, why of why do commercial food producers feel obligated to add sugar and oil to peanut butter when the non sugar and oil stuff tastes better? ]

    • Barnaby_Rudge

      “if it comes in a box, bag, or wrapped in plastic and it isn’t refrigerated, it probably isn’t all that healthy”. Really? So much for boxes of pasta or oranges, or bags of potatoes or flour or dried milk, or meat or fish or fowl covered in plastic.

      • Barley_Brains

        Dried beans, brown rice, etc. also too.

    • h4rr4r

      So lettuce is right out?

      • BosGrl

        Lettuce goes bad very quickly if you don’t eat it right away. People using food stamps can’t afford fancy lettuce keepers or nitrogen bags or whatever and they can’t do a trip to the supermarket every day to buy a fresh head.

        • h4rr4r

          Lettuce lasts weeks if you buy a whole head. Preferably with the roots still attached.

          • BosGrl

            I don’t think I’ve ever even seen lettuce with the roots attached except maybe those tiny, expensive heads (pompoms?) of Boston lettuce. I wrap my lettuce in foil and I can sometimes make it last 3 days, but weeks? And yes, I buy heads (or I’m not sure what you’d call a whole Romaine?). It starts to go brown almost the minute I get it home.

          • h4rr4r

            Aldi has them. Which is a discount grocer that poor folks use.

          • BosGrl

            MAGIC LETTUCE FROM ALDI! Thanks, I’ll try it. It’s about half an hour away but gas is inexpensive right now…

          • h4rr4r

            Oh wow, that is too far.
            It is pretty magic though.

          • h4rr4r

            I eat it faster but a co-worker that has lettuce eating fish keeps those little aldi heads 2-3 weeks.

    • cynmac

      I can’t tell if you are serious or not. Your profile shows that you spend a lot of time at Mother Jones. And if they haven’t banned you, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. You do realize how much time a Raw Food diet takes, right? And a lot of the folks who get food stamps are working two, three McJobs and still not making a living wage, needing section 8 housing, food stamps, food banks, etc. to get by. Your privilege is showing, my man.

  • Kelly Hamilton

    Anyone who has ever applied for SNAP benefits knows they only cover a small part of the monthly grocery bill. Anyone on SNAP benefits does not have any extra money for the luxuries Republicans like to imagine. Republicans really do want poor people to suffer. They hate the poor, who are of no earthly use to them. The poor also remind them all of how far short they have fallen from the teachings of Jesus, whom they claim so reverently as their own.

    • Buzz1313

      You are so right. When you have only so much for your meals, you’re spending more on chicken and ground beef and pasta- not crab legs and lobster tails, let alone dessert, candy and soft drinks. These people must think an EBT card is like a credit card: spend all you want til you hit some high limit(like two grand) and that it resets every month. They’re assholes. When my mother went through a hard time when I was in high school, I can assure you desserts were low on the shopping list to the point of nonexistent

    • CynicalOptimist

      Amen, fershurr!

    • harryeagar

      Well I disagree. If there weren’t poor people who would cut Republicans’ grass?

  • mailman27

    So these folks getting $4.50/day for food are bankrupting the country. Makes sense. Exxon-Mobil paying zero monies on billions of profits? It’s trickling down, people.

    • crabbylove

      You know what else is trickling down?

      • cynmac

        Pee, when Drumpf realized that the protester and cop were tussling over a real weapon?

    • lroom

      Where I’m at it’s about $3 a day.

  • Boscoe

    But wait… by LePage’s “logic”, isn’t saving people from The Diabeetus just encouraging people to get The Diabeetus?

  • Khavrinen

    “to spend all that time classifying them would require a lot of money and effort.”

    Well, as long as the money’s going to bureaucrats, instead of those awful poors, spend all you want. LePage’s fine with that.

  • Rick Hill

    Need food stamps? Tough. You get a bag of rice and a bag of dried beans every week. Turn your Obamaphone in when you apply for benefits, too.,

    • crabbylove

      Don’t give him ideas.

  • HanBarbara

    He looks like he hits the soda and cake pretty hard himself. As governor, shouldn’t he be a good example to others?

    • Jukesgrrl

      He’s enduring the stress of constant travel to Florida to visit his family who have abandoned Maine because … maybe they don’t like the governor?

    • shallot

      He’s reputed to enjoy an unhealthy amount of adult beverages.

  • mailman27

    Where’d all the money go? Why, the people who don’t have any money have it all, of course!

  • phoenix00

    /obligatory

  • Shoto

    LePage / Brownback – 2016. Let Murrica’s Poors Not Eat Cake.

    • Be Gin

      And the Rich get new AutoBahn from Maine to Kansas. Minimum speed – 110 MPH. And NO seat belts!

      • ahughes798

        Now THAT would be awesome! But I’d be wearing a safety harness.

        • Be Gin

          All safety equipment Banned! Except for the “safety” found in firearms.

          The whole point is to make it so dangerous that only rich, entitled fools will be out there competing with each other over nothing.

          • ahughes798

            My not rich, entitled ass would love to have an autobahn in the US. For my not rich, entitled 1999 Ford Taurus SHO. It doesn’t come with a firearm, but it does come with lots of rust. But yeah, I get your point, LOL!

  • crabbylove

    How do these awful people keep getting elected?

    • Leftykook

      Because a third party jackass split the “Not Insane” vote!

    • Buzz1313

      I may be wrong, but wasn’t this guy elected as a result of three candidates in back to back elections? The first time, I get: who knew he’d win? The second time? Those two other candidates stupidly remained in the race and split the votes AGAIN. That’s why this idiot got reelected.

      • Jukesgrrl

        Also known as The Story of Sheriff Joe Arpaio.

    • Be Gin

      Cheese. Beer. TV.

      They may be awful but the burden is always on decent folks to show up and vote against them.

    • acreation

      because Maine is filled with some of the stupidest, most closed minded, back assward people in the entire planet. living here after living in other places in the world has been like being sent to hell. they even have laws defending men to use undeadly force against women & the disabled. anyone want to buy my house?

  • Ilgattomorte

    I believe the bible is very clear on this issue.

    “Give a man a fish and he eats for a day.”, but “Give a man an EBT card and … why the fuck is he buying fish at $12.99 a pound?”. “What the fuck is wrong with these people.” “I was going to teach them to fish, but fuck them for buying fish.” “They can go fuck themselves.”

    … So sayeth the Lord.

    • CynicalOptimist

      Amen, er, whaa?

    • wavicles

      Whoa, if true.

    • acreation

      Why the fuck is fish $12.99 per pound anyways? Or dandelion greens $8 per pound. I don’t eat a lot of the processed foods, but I can see if you only have $200 per month for food, you’d probably eat a lot of cheap corn-filled crap because how could you afford to eat healthily? So damn the poor for eating at $12.99, damn them for eating $1 crap from the dollar store; why not damn them for eating at all. Hitler had camps for all those worthless poor, the disabled, those of a different race, and for today, why not add the fats. Perhaps you’d want to build something similar in your backyard, llgattomorte?

  • Enfant Terrible

    Shorter Paul LePage: “Anything Sam Brownback does, I can do worse.”

  • Dr. Krieger IRL

    This is the same guy who said he’s from the mean streets, and squeaked a rubber pig.
    Because idiot.

  • You know what’s good about soda? It’s cheaper than juice – you can get a 3-liter of the generic kind at a Dollar Tree. And unlike milk, it stays good even if you can’t refrigerate it because your electric’s turned off or you live in your car. And the sugar and caffeine can give you a quick boost when you’re midway through your shift at your third job and you start feeling like maybe you need to sleep or at least sit down or something, as if a poor person might actually deserve some rest or a break. Soda’s cheaper than coffee, too, and can help keep you on your feet.

    Anyway, LePage needs to fuck off.

  • Be Gin

    Paul is upset! Hasn’t anyone told him to calm the fuck down already?

    Yo! Paul! Calm the fuck down already! Take a chill pill! Relax already! Whatsa matter with you? Is Donnie Drumpf stinking up the joint for you “True” conservatives with his floundering? Well Paul, if you were running for President I am sure you could do a worse job than Donnie. So relax already!

  • LadyLaz

    Exhibit A as to why you don’t want Bernie to run as a third party candidate, or support Stein or Johnson. This is what happens. .. and who pays? Not the one percent. They just leave. Nope, the poors, the disenfranchised, the ones already getting peed on get a little extra helping of guilt over a Mars bar. You know, the ones you care about. And was there a Maine revolution? Nope. Just another third party insurgent who left this heel in power for another term.

  • Manders

    Gov. LePage looks like he has indulged in the occasional sweet. Perhaps the taxpayers should tell him they don’t want his government salary – which they pay – going towards cake, either.

    • harryeagar

      More likely he gets his excess calories from alcohol

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        You say that like it’s a bad thing…

  • harryeagar

    Has Maine run out of king crab legs? Are the poor reduced to eating Necco wafers?

    Snickers

    • Rufus T. Firefly

      Maybe they’re waiting for their Payday.

      • wavicles

        Mounds of cash are being wasted.

      • ahughes798

        LePage is such a Lemonhead. And definitely Right Twix.

    • ^^^^^===== ate Neccos a week ago.

  • dshwa

    Christ, what an asshole.

  • pixeloid

    On the bright side, he said poor people can eat all the road-kill lobsters they can find.

  • lovelydestruction

    Pepperidge Farm remembers.

    • Jennaratrix

      Indeed it does.

  • Wondering what a Trump presidency would look like? Look no further than Paul LePage. He is as big of a narcissistic personality as Trump.

  • Me not sure

    You’ll all stop laughing when Maine is inundated with a Mountain Dew fueled puppy-monkey-baby outbreak!

    • Dutchman

      Will they be named Shifty or Smoothy?

      • Me not sure

        Yes?

      • jmk

        D-Sugah.

    • Me not sure, you should copyright that. If Stephen King is reading this, you know he’ll be at his keyboard with a quickness…

      • Me not sure

        I’m afraid Mountain Dew owns that monsrousity.

  • TeeRaak
  • BadKitty904

    So Maine is now a monarchy?

  • Vegan and Tiara
    • Ducksworthy

      The “plan” is the same as it ever was. I think it was first devised by Thomas Hobbes around 1670.

    • Once&futureFred

      I read a piece on it this morning. 37 pages, including the front and back cover and two blank pages, two pages are devoted to describing how awful the ACA is leaving 31 pages for repealing the dread O’care and right wing talking points.

      • Vegan and Tiara

        Sounds as great as their economic plan (cut taxes on the wealthy).

  • “Only when Washington politicians stop kowtowing to powerful retail grocer and junk food manufacturing interests”
    Um, is this good Republican trying to impose a nanny state mentality on the invisible hand of the free market?

    • Sakonyachen

      Always be sure that big grocery is the problem in this country.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Doesn’t just about every processed food contain sugar? What a colossal dick.

  • Setag Mailliw

    Hmmm, who was it that was passing out cookies to school kids because the First Lady was encouraging kids to eat carrots and was black?

  • Noxious1

    If LePage is so very concerned about obesity in Maine, he should start by limiting his own sugar intake.

    • Sakonyachen

      I was just wondering how he can talk about the taxpayers footing the bill for unhealthy food when he is such a fat load.

  • WeaselPoo

    If Le Paige is concerned about waste, he could start by eliminating the salary and benefits of his position, and then just the space he displaces. .

  • greyXstar

    I didn’t even know you could get a Mars bar in the States other than at an overpriced international foods store.

  • Anna Bender

    whatever the word is for a sociopath who is not at all charming? I believe the word you’re looking for is asshole.

  • tegrat

    does this mean that “those cakes we like” are off the grocery list?

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Ooh, I know! Let’s cut out the subsidies to the corn industry to get high fructose corn syrup out of absolutely every freaking thing. That seems to have a lot more with low income people suffering from obesity and diabetes than splurging on the bad foods on the food stamps.

Previous articleYou Will Completely Believe How Good Trump Campaign Has Been For Trump-Owned Businesses
Next articleDonald Trump Just Wondering If Hillary Is A Muslim Or What. You Know, Like Her Girlfriend Maybe.