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hillary and holofernes

Do you know the story of Judith and Holofernes? Judith was a rad Jewish woman, and Holofernes was a … Roman? general who wanted to rape her. She was like “cool, Holofernes, I will just come to your tent and attend to your boner, no problem, awesome Jewish chick coming at ya,” and then she CUT OFF HIS HEAD.

Isn’t that a good story?

So what we have here is some original Photoshopping by the one and only Shypixel, and we have it for you! We have it on men’s shirts and women’s shirts and tote bags and coffee cups and all the other places Redbubble lets us put original photoshops.

Are you still lonesome for Hillary of Arc? She continues to exist over at the Wonkette Bazaar, along with Professorski Elizabeth Warrenovna in men’s and women’s shirts; Wonkette kittens; Wonkette baby kittens; and … probably something else.

Don't you want a t-shirt that looks like this? CLICK INSIDE TO GET IT!
Don’t you want a t-shirt that looks like this?

warren300x600

Kitten vs. Evil Dead
Kitten vs. Evil Dead

baby wonkette

We are slowly phasing out items at our Wonkette Bazaar, because I end up sending the wrong shirts to the wrong people and then they have to write to me like “editrix? thank you for the wrong shirt but may I please have the right one? I am very sorry to bother you and it is probably my fault,” which, really, it probably is, and I don’t know how it keeps happening because I’m usually not even high.

Frequently Asked Question!

Does the money for this go to the Hillary campaign?
Nope. Hillary Clinton would want us to make an oligarchical living, for being a shill.

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  • Skadi

    Babylonian, not Roman. Guy worked for Nebuchadnezzar, I think. Awesome shirt, though!

    • dshwa

      Sumerian, not Babylonian. Big difference.

      • Skadi

        If he served Nebuchadnezzar II, that would have put him in the Neo-Babylonian period.

        • dshwa

          Ghostbusters quote.

          • eddi

            Zuul!

          • Skadi

            *slaps forehead* Duh.

  • Msgr_Moment

    This poster just completely validates the MRA worldview, amirite?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I think that would involve cutting off a different appendage.

      • Blank Ron

        Though still one that they don’t use.

    • tomamitai

      Paranoids see everything as validating their world view.

    • Skwerl King

      Something tells me the seven headed hydra is more apt to MRAs who will keep whining long after they are dead.

      • AlasAnAss

        And they all want to attack the ween. The squirting, shriveling ween.

    • pstockholm

      If he wasn’t an InCel before he sure was after.

  • Hillary Salome and Don the Baptist.

    Very nice.

    • Msgr_Moment

      …pre-photoshop…

      (only I don’t think you want to hold Trump’s mug by the hair…)

      • Skwerl King

        If the head could be photoshopped falling out of the toupee, that would be sweet.

        • eddi

          Donnie has real hair. You just have to be careful what you grab. The weasel is a little ticklish.

          • Msgr_Moment

            That’s what SHE said.

          • eddi

            I’m going to take credit for saying something that went over my own head.

      • nothingisamiss

        I really like that dress with its cool neckline, though.

    • Lizzietish81

      Nah, it doesn’t end well for Salome either

      • sweeper

        Also, too, Salome is serving the interests of an illegitimate Herodian ruler. Judith is a badass with AGENCY. The Salome story is an anti-Jewish polemic that attempts to turn the radical Judith story (a retelling of the also radical Yael story,) upside down, in order to defang the inspiring story. Sorry for nerding out.

        • nothingisamiss

          “Yael.” THANK YOU. I was going to have to look that up and you saved me. Tent spikes ftw.

          • sweeper

            Yes! The earlier version with Yael, she uses the infamous tent peg, while the Yehudit story has her going full decapitation. Like its contemporary, Maccabees, it is a nationalist polemic. Get out there and kick ass, men, and ladies also too! also should mention there’s no “J” in Hebrew. Or “W.” Just puttin it out there. I’ll show myself out.

          • H0mer0

            you’re telling us there’s no “Jew” in “Hebreu”?

          • sweeper

            There’s not a letter that makes a j sound in the Hebrew alphabet, nor is there one that makes the w sound. The biblical words that are transliterated with those letters in English come from early European translations which were in German. German uses j and w to represent the consonantal y and the v sound.

          • H0mer0

            [Thank you for the information and your efforts to enlighten and embiggen, but I was making a “scherzo”*, albeit, one that apparently fell flat.]

            *the term “joke” is so easily misused and misconstrued nowadays

          • sweeper

            Sorry for being so pedantic. I can’t help it, all those Js and Ws just make me crazy.

          • theCryptofishist

            Ah, Gutenberg’s fault.

      • theCryptofishist

        But Beardsley’s got to be unphotoshopable.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    The Wonkette Totschke Mercantile and Grift Emporium continues to dazzle.

  • dslindc

    It’s just like Wonkette to cram photoshopped wares down my throat!

  • FlownOver

    No doubt the wingers, particularly the semi-Bibble-literate wingers, will see the characters (counterclockwise from bottom) as John the Baptist, Herod and Salome.

    Ed: Evidently RichNWhite is faster at the keystroke.

    Ed Ed: Ditto Msgr Moment. Well played, the both of you.

    • eddi

      Do one with Obama as Herod and Redstaters will love it.

  • Come here a minute

    The most popular design will still be the BANNED “Bernie to the Future”, because some people are just that stubborn!

    • Still widely available from thieves on the black market.

      Including a local T-shirt shop here in Missoula.

      I should be flattered to be intellectually robbed so thoroughly…

      • eddi

        If it wasn’t great, they wouldn’t steal it.?

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          I attended a forum recently regarding musicians and copyright issues…all these living room local yokel musicians sounding like $500/hr. copyright lawyers “protecting their art”. I’m like, shit, I PRAY someone will steal some of my songs.

          • Blank Ron

            Pro tip: stop locking your doors at night.

          • Ghenghis McCann

            Ahh, I can remember back in the Eighties being told ‘Home Taping Is Killing Music’. Also buying an album where the sleeve notes said, ‘If you like this album, please tape it and give it to your friends. We need the exposure.’.

      • Msgr_Moment

        I’ll check out the Russian flea market in Tallinn.

      • MsAnthropesMr

        People wear t-shirts on Missoula?

        • Biff52

          In the winter, sure.

      • Biff52

        Happy to have gotten mine totally legit!

  • Spalding

    He was Babylonian, his boss was Nebuchadnezzar II. oh someone beat me to the trivia answer…

    • arglebargle

      Shouldn’t that be Two Nebuchadnezzar?

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon
        • Skadi

          Two Nebuchadnezzars walk into a wine bar…

          • Msgr_Moment

            “Yo, Jereboam!”

        • eddi

          How do you even pour from that bottle? And the cork could stun King Kong.

          • Blank Ron

            You climb in and gently marinate.

          • eddi

            But of course.

      • eddi

        Well, the writing is on the wall now.

  • Suttree

    I was just about to order the Hillz shirt to match Lizzietish’s but she already ordered it for me. I will have to wait and see if I need something else.

    • FlownOver

      “Something else”? Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

  • Relativicus

    I’m not saying that’s a clear violation of the non-existent rules for non-existent comments, I’m just saying its a good thing that’s not a non-existent comment.

  • Logic of Color

    It’s too bad t-shirts can’t Blingee. That graphic is screaming “Blingee me!”

    • theCryptofishist

      Glitter fabric paint ftw!. Although, that’s an aftermarket diy thing.

  • MsAnthropesMr

    Shouldn’t that be Vince Foster?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I can’t wait to see the t-shirt of Hillz poised to strike with the Scalia Pillow.

      • theCryptofishist

        Maybe a Veronika–just after the deed?

  • MsAnthropesMr

    So, where’s the Nader, Anderson, Perot, and Bernie t-shirt?

    • if he runs 3rd party, I’m SO doin’ this

      • MsAnthropesMr

        Must credit anonymous Internet jack-ass

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        If he runs 3rd party, I will be busily preparing for the End Times. I’ll start by buying some of those fucking seeds from Glenn Beck.

      • pstockholm
        • eddi

          Bernie as the drummer barely needs a touchup.

          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            The teeth are probably even the right color…

          • pstockholm

            Nor Perot as the other drummer.

          • eddi

            He is short but feisty.

        • Lizzietish81

          Do you have anything with Benedict Arnold?

    • Lizzietish81

      Can we get a t shirt with all of them together?

      Maybe as a jury at Joan’s trial

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Look for it in the the dumpster of history.

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        Funny thing, that is where archaeologists find a lot of artifacts. There and graves.

        • Blank Ron

          All that education, and the best job they can get is working at a landfill. Sad, really.

          • Biff52

            Another artifact-rich environment is under outhouses, so pick your poison.

          • Amy!

            Well, shit.

          • Marion in Savannah

            Sounds like a really crappy job.

          • eddi

            Fortunately after a couple hundred years they are no longer toxic or yucky.

          • Biff52

            Nice rich nitrohumus. With added booze and medicine bottles.

          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            You’d be amazed what you can find underneath chair lifts after the snow melts. By numbers of items, I believe it’s chapstick, cigarette lighters, small containers with pot or other dope inside and ski poles.

          • Biff52

            Not very archaeologically significant, but yeah. I worked at Mammoth Mountain for a few years, and skiing under the pole lines after the weekends was a good way to find a new pair of Vuarnets. Found more than a few vials of white powdery substance, too.

          • NellCote71

            Losers. And probably unfair to Donald Trump at sometime in their careers.

    • Msgr_Moment

      David French libel!!

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        Who?

        • eddi

          The guy who is not running against Trump. Not that it narrows the field much.

  • beingreleased

    Do I have to trow it away after Trump wins? Oh wait… not an issue.

  • Lizzietish81

    Can we get Eowyn striking down the Witch King? Though that would be fanart and you may have to pay someone.

  • OddMan

    Being that Mr. Trump is most likely a Paramecium, that head is going to grow back.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Better a Paramecium than a Hydra, which has 9 heads (or 7 heads, depends on the source). Imagine 9 Trump heads, all spewing garbage simultaneously. Doesn’t bear thinking of.

      • dshwa

        I think that’s called Breitbart

        • Peter Witting

          He’s still dead though, right?

  • AntiDerpomeme

    Hillz looks pretty fierce in orange damask silk. I wonder how well that would hold up in a pantsuit.

  • Logic of Color

    Invalid. If one attempted to hold Donald’s head by the hair one would simply be holding a clump of wig.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      Some fermented Spanish moss, or something.

  • pstockholm

    Needz moar bald.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Watch out! Trump will send his goons out to get you when he finds out you’re marketing this. I sense a Cease-and-Desist is not far in the future.

    • eddi

      Showing his ‘do mussed up and his high hairline. That should get a rise out of him.

    • Logic of Color

      Can you imagine the publicity my favorite mommy blog would get if Trump started ranting at it during a “speech”? Editrix could switch to name brand vodka!

      • rebecca

        I never stint on my liquor.

        • JH Marx

          Nor weed I would hope!

  • Astraea

    lol Bill in the background

    • eddi

      Traditionally that’s Judith’s maid. So Bill kinda fits as her chief supporter.

  • Lizzietish81

    Why do I get the feeling there will be bitching about the fact that Bernie is Jewish and HIllary isn’t?

    • eddi

      Some people are never happy.

    • SnarkOff

      Hillary is Jewish. And black, and Latino.

      • H0mer0

        sounds SEXY!

    • Some guy was calling Editrix an anti-semite on Twatter last night, because she was not pro-Berns.

      • AntiDerpomeme

        Precious!

      • Skadi

        He sounds nice.

      • Lizzietish81

        Isn’t she a Jewish Lesbian though?

        • Gayer Than Thou

          Aren’t we all?

      • Msgr_Moment

        Joowish antisemites are the worst kind.

        • Suttree

          I’m reading an article in the London Review of Books right now dealing with that same subject. Jewish people who disagree with how the Palestinians are treated are subject to retaliation.
          http://www.lrb.co.uk/v38/n04/adam-shatz/israels-putinisation

          • Dr. Krieger IRL

            Fawk. Nothing beats being retaliated against for possessing an understanding of basic human decency.

          • Suttree

            How dare you think about other human beings that way!!11!!!

      • eddi

        Oy vey.

  • FZsdaughter

    “For others, there was discomfort that this next step forward in U.S.
    history was unfolding with this particular woman.” (NYT) The excuse
    from time immemorial, “this particular woman”, because a woman can only
    be a virgin or a whore. Enough sexist hypocrisy, let’s see this woman
    SLAY. (with votes!)

    • Astraea

      “This particular woman” is never as good as some nearby man. No matter what woman it happens to be.

      • Logic of Color

        “That one” comes to mind.

        • calliecallie

          “This Particular Woman” is the new “That One.”

          • theCryptofishist

            I thought it was “That Girl”. Not that 60s sitcoms count for much.

          • calliecallie

            “New Girl” is the new “That Girl.” You can tell by the bangs.

          • theCryptofishist

            Well, haircuts just sort of whoooosh over my head, so I’ll take your word for it.

      • Dr. Krieger IRL

        But don’t worry, some idiot SFB MRA troll in a comments thread last night assured us all that it’s all because women secretly control everything and stuff. Men are the real victims and whatnot, so on and so forth, blah, blah, blah. So I guess it’s all an illusion and the 500 other male republican also-rans of this election were more qualified than “this particular woman”.

        • AntiDerpomeme

          You poor thing. You too have been brainwashed by the feminist cabal that will force you into breeding armies of illegitimates. Or something like that.

          • Dr. Krieger IRL

            And Corporate Media something-something! Argleblargle!

          • Astraea

            Thankfully, I was recruited by the man-hating, child-free lesbians. I get to say mean things and live with cats, and I even got a free toaster oven.

          • Kavefish

            A good toaster oven is nothing to sneeze at.

        • Suttree

          Dammit! I went to sleep to early?!

          • Dr. Krieger IRL

            It was like 2100 EST, so maybe.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      It’s not that we don’t want a lady president. We just want a perfect lady president.

      • Dr. Krieger IRL

        And then they voted for iCarly.

        • H0mer0

          and then there’s Maude…

      • Biff52

        Yes! Because we’ve had so many perfect man presidents!

        • bookish

          Each without stain, unblemished.

          • Biff52

            Until “that” one, if you know what I mean…

          • theCryptofishist

            Jefferson and his slave-raping ways…

      • eddi

        No lady will ever be President. The job calls for stone hard bitch who rip off an opponent’s head and piss down his neck. One who will show up at her first State of the Union speech with two bricks and say, “Anybody want to call me a liar?” Then slam the bricks together over the mike.

        • calliecallie

          Obviously a woman can’t run the country because if she were to pound her shoe on the podium that stiletto heel really doesn’t make enough noise, and probably ruins the podium for future use.

          • Ghenghis McCann

            All she has to do is invite the biggest loudmouth over to the podium and then bring the stiletto heel down on his head. No noise, no fuss.

          • Gayer Than Thou

            Hard on the shoe, too.

          • H0mer0

            being short with small feet, if I want to appear taller, I wear platforms or clogs. Now those can make some noise.

          • theCryptofishist

            Didn’t stop Nikki Khrushchev.

        • The Wanderer

          Well, Chyna’s dead, so we have Hillary.

      • Vecciojohn LLC

        A younger one with bigger boobs.

        • theCryptofishist

          No, one we can have a beer, or at least a drinky thingie with.

  • SnarkOff

    YOU GUYS. There is a Hilary & Holofcenes miniskirt option!!! http://www.redbubble.com/people/wonkette/works/22106008-hillary-and-holofernes?p=pencil-skirt

    • Msgr_Moment

      Thanks. Just what I need for infiltrating the Ladies’ Room.

    • eddi

      Oh My Freaking Out Goddess!

    • Amy!

      They have a nicer selection of shirt styles than Wonkette Bazaar used to have, as well.

  • freakishlystrong

    I’m not a violent person, but something viscerally primitive happens to me when I see Trump posters/bumper stickers, I’m just so disgusted at how stupid/bigoted our fellow citizens are. Though I love it, “with votes!”, this would probably bring physical harm to me or someone who confronted me.

    • SnarkOff

      But you’re freakishly strong! Who is gonna mess with you?

    • Msmlg1979

      I have seen 3 Trump stickers in my town so far. All older male drivers. One had his next to a Sig Sauer sticker. One was “Veterans for Trump”. One was on a ridiculous jacked-up-phallic-overcompensation truck that probably gets 10 miles to the gallon and cost 40 grand.

      • AlasAnAss

        Older males with gun and phallus . . . “issues”? Huh. Seems anomalous to me.

        • Msmlg1979

          I was shocked. Very shocked.

        • At the corner, turn left

          One would hope neither were open-carry. Not a pretty picture.

      • Biff52

        I wish I could find a truck for $40K!

        • Msmlg1979

          I wish I could afford one.

          • Biff52

            I bought mine for $29K eleven years ago, when I still had a jerb. No way could I afford to replace it now, so I gotta take care of it.

          • AlasAnAss

            Old trucks are the best trucks.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          I’ve got one for, like, 800 bucks I would be willing to work out a deal on.

        • Roadstergal

          We have a fully paid off 2005 Chevy Express 1500 van (aka an enclosed Silverado) for carrying the motorcycles to track days/MX and for helping our friends move. We want to replace it with one of the Ford Transits with the high roof and the turbo engine, but ho-lee-shit those things are $$.

          • Biff52

            I am getting my Dodge serviced as I type. Checked the price of a new lesser truck than mine. My house cost less to build.

      • Longstreet63

        Here in Indiana, they aren’t really common, but where they show up, the vehicles always have idiot plates. (The free optional “in God we trust” plates. They’re also a useful warning that the driver doesn’t bother thinks about anyone else, and drives accordingly.)

        • theCryptofishist

          So, like those damn Jesus fish, but state sponsored?

      • MrCanoehead

        TRUMP FOR PRESIDENT of the Hair Club For Men

      • Roadstergal

        I live right next to frikkin’ San Francisco, and I see bro-trucks all the time with various ‘clever’ anti-Obama stickers. The Trump ones are starting to turn up.

      • Jennaratrix

        So, every other truck here in the Kansas City area. Ridic.

    • Courser

      I know what you mean. I’m simply sticking by the rules taught to me by my daddy years ago. No bumper stickers on my truck (I did have a “Love People – Cook them Tasty Food” from Penzey’s but that’s pretty benign). I wear all my lovely Wonkette Ts at home but only the Warren one goes out of the house. I may be a chicken shit, but I don’t need any more confrontations with Angry White Men. While it had nothing to do with politics, last week’s AWM blowout was enough for me.

    • Spalding

      According to the Midrash, Jael engaged in sexual intercourse with Sisera seven times, but because she was attempting to exhaust him in order to kill him, her sin was for Heaven’s sake and therefore praiseworthy. Now thats killing him with something other than votes..

      • Longstreet63

        Wow. That probably occupied a good half hour back when foreplay wasn’t a thing…

        • I Only Like Cats

          Did you read Song of Solomon? Maybe it wasn’t a thing for the Babylonians, but it was certainly a thing.

          • Longstreet63

            Well, it’s one thing to write porn, but it’s another thing to actually take the time for your chattel to enjoy receiving your next child.

          • AlasAnAss

            And Talmud mandates *everybody* gets pleasure from NastyFunTimes.

      • bupkus23

        Seven times in order to exhaust him? Sheesh – I guess old age wasn’t the only thing that was longer back in OT days….

        • Spalding

          Also according to the Midrash,[10] Sisera had previously conquered every country against which he had fought. His voice was so strong that, when he called loudly, the most solid wall would shake and the wildest animal would fall dead. Deborah was the only one who could withstand his voice and not be stirred from her place. Sisera caught fish enough in his beard when bathing in the Kishon to provision his whole army, and thirty-one kings followed Sisera merely for the opportunity of drinking, or otherwise using, the waters of Israel. According to B.Gittin, the descendants of Sisera were teachers of the young in Jerusalem.

          • Biff52

            Well, I’m convinced!

          • The Wanderer

            The Chuck Norris of his time.

    • NellCote71

      A guy in my gym had one on, and we ladies in our bootcamp class thought it was a joke until someone told us that he was seriously for Trump. White, middle-aged guy with a beer gut, I guess was the tip.

  • orygoon

    What, no onsies?

  • bubbuhh

    Glad to see you folks managed to snap that photo before turnip noggin parted ways with its hair and bounced down the steps of the Ancient Iranian Command Caravaggio.

  • The Wanderer

    There’s another rad woman story, about a lady who gets invited to do Da Nasty with an enemy general, and then nails his head to the ground with a tent peg. Good times.

    • Skadi
      • eddi

        Another guy thinking with the wrong head.

        • Kavefish

          I wonder if she nailed that one to the ground, too?

          • eddi

            No sense taking chances. The rabbis probably edited that bit because it squicked them too much.

          • Kavefish

            And here we thought a Prince Albert was a fairly recent thing.

            Who knew?

      • AlasAnAss

        MotherFUCKer!

        (And I believe this happens after she gives him NastyFunTimes, so he’s all relaxed and sleepy. That, to me, is the best part–What she’s thinking while he’s all pushing and grunting on top of her.)

        • I Only Like Cats

          She gave him something like warm milk, no? It’s been quite a while since I read it.

          • Skadi

            He asked water and she gave him milk,
            she brought him curds in a lordly bowl.

            She put her hand to the tent peg
            and her right hand to the workmen’s mallet;
            she struck Sis′era a blow,
            she crushed his head,
            she shattered and pierced his temple.

            He sank, he fell,
            he lay still at her feet;
            at her feet he sank, he fell;
            where he sank, there he fell dead.

          • I Only Like Cats

            I knew there was milk involved! Thanks.

          • AlasAnAss

            And then her squad of back-up death kitties came in and said, “Well, since he’s not gonna finish that . . . “*

            *Found in most of the earliest codexes.

          • Nockular cavity

            “Back-Up Death Kitties” is now the name of my Babymetal rip-off band.

          • Blank Ron

            She ‘brought him curds in a lordly bowl’? No wonder he was lethargic, he was full of poutine!

          • Ghenghis McCann

            No rohypnol back in those days.

        • tehbaddr

          I’ll be in my bunk?

        • Skadi

          Rabbinic tradition says she did it with him seven times, to make sure he’d be too exhausted to move afterwards, “but since she sinned for Heaven’s sake, her sin is praiseworthy.”

          • AlasAnAss

            The rabbinim are not afraid to sex it up in their midrashic explorations. For the sake of Heaven, of course.

          • I Only Like Cats

            Since she did it that many times I’m totally OK in saying I hope he gave her NastyFunTimes as well, wink wink.

          • Biff52

            Sounds like my old pin in the 60’s, “Fuck for Peace.”

          • The Wanderer

            “I’m fighting a war for peace.”

          • theCryptofishist

            7! That makes the tent peg seem a little superfluous.

          • Skadi

            Maybe it was the equivalent of driving a stake through his heart?

          • AlasAnAss

            Anything in the midrashim about whether she used the peg for anything else first?

      • AlasAnAss

        Look at her shoulder and back musculature. This, this is gonna hurt.

        • Cindyinencinitas

          That’s what always made me think the artist was gay. The women look like men with baseballs on their chests.

      • Courser

        Fuck him right in the ear with a tent peg. Works for me (with votes)

        • Astraea

          Vote him into the ground. (with votes)

          • JH Marx

            ala pork chop

      • O_Hellllllllp

        I remember this picture from my childhood! In our family Bible!

      • The Wanderer

        Thank you! I couldn’t recall the name.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    I never speak of the biblical story of Judith because I don’t know how to pronounce “Holofernes.” When it comes up at cocktail parties, I change the subject.

    • bubbuhh

      It’s pronounced “sumbitch”

      • Vecciojohn LLC

        It’s actually pronounced “throat warbler mangrove.”

        • Cindyinencinitas

          Or “dead would-be rapist.”

    • Spalding

      həˈlɒfəˌniːz

      • There is something wrong with your keyboard, friend.

      • eddi

        Gesundheit.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      HOLLow FERN eez?

    • Biff52

      Hoofwanker.

    • LesBontemps

      “Hello Kitty” will do just as well.

      • The Wanderer

        I would gladly decapitate Hello Kitty.

    • SnarkOff

      Rhymes with rich.

    • theCryptofishist

      I usually start in the Holocene, and then go a little frenetic, but pronunciation (and spelling) isn’t my strong suit.

  • boredcatlady

    kind of a dick move here, editrix…there’s like a million colors to choose from, or even like which motherfucking side of the t shirt I want it printed on…Sneaky oligarchist, getting more of my stoned and indecisive monies.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Holofernes was a Babylonian general. There’s a very good fictional biography of Judith called “Judith” by Stella Wilchek. Great photoshopping, Shypixel!

  • bubbuhh

    Old time Jewish women was very tough on Pharoahs and Kings and Princes and Generals.

  • zerosumgame0005

    OK, that is the problem, you really really need to get high more often!

  • Pugsandcoffee

    Well, I totes just murdered that shirt (with moneys). I hope Wonket gets more than a tithe of that amount.

  • tehbaddr

    Wait till wingnutosphere sees this, get ready for a massive troll invasion!

    • Lizzietish81

      i’m more worried about Bernie Bros

      • Marion in Savannah

        At this point is there a difference?

        • Kavefish

          Well, one only takes mosquito repellent to get rid of.

  • Lizzietish81

    OT: Just saw a meme citing the 1968 DNC Convention as relevant to this year’s convention.

    The stupid burned. Sorry. Berned.

    • Hillary Clinton, First of Her Name, The Breaker Of Glass Ceilings, The Unberned.

      There is a meme going around that I can’t find right now, but it had seomthing like this on it.

      • The Wanderer

        Ahem. (does best herald impression)
        The Lady Hillary Fitzhugh, of House Clinton-Rodham, First of Her Name, Breaker of Glass Ceilings, Honorable Secretary Emeritus of the Department of State of the United States of America, Senator Emeritus of the Domain of New York, named The Unberned.
        (catches breath)

        • Ghenghis McCann

          Her Majesty Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, and of Her other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith. Libelz

          • The Wanderer

            (clears throat, takes several deep breaths)

            Charles, by the grace of God, Holy Roman Emperor, forever August, King of Germany, King of Italy, King of all Spains, of Castile, Aragon, León, of Hungary, of Dalmatia, of Croatia, Navarra, Grenada, Toledo, Valencia, Galicia, Majorca, Sevilla, Cordova, Murcia, Jaén, Algarves, Algeciras, Gibraltar, the Canary Islands, King of Two Sicilies, of Sardinia, Corsica, King of Jerusalem, King of the Western and Eastern Indies, of the Islands and Mainland of the Ocean Sea, Archduke of Austria, Duke of Burgundy, Brabant, Lorraine, Styria, Carinthia, Carniola, Limburg, Luxembourg, Gelderland, Neopatria, Württemberg, Landgrave of Alsace, Prince of Swabia, Asturia and Catalonia, Count of Flanders, Habsburg, Tyrol, Gorizia, Barcelona, Artois, Burgundy Palatine, Hainaut, Holland, Seeland, Ferrette, Kyburg, Namur, Roussillon, Cerdagne, Drenthe, Zutphen, Margrave of the Holy Roman Empire, Burgau, Oristano and Gociano, Lord of Frisia, the Wendish March, Pordenone, Biscay, Molin, Salins, Tripoli and Mechelen.
            (phew)

          • Ghenghis McCann

            Damn, your Charles ViI beats my Liz II

          • The Wanderer

            I was prepared to dump Suleiman the Magnificent’s full titulature. Oy, they used to pull entire goods wagons behind them back then, didn’t they?
            (edits his Hillary post to include nominee status)

          • Ghenghis McCann

            No, not the nuclear option.

          • berkeleyfarm

            Indeed.

            The Dutch have shortened their official writing to “etc., etc., etc.” after the two to four they consider the most important. Not nearly the train nor the territory of Charles V of course. Elizabeth (and Charles as her heir) have some interesting ancient titles … she’s still the Duke of Normandy, but that writ only runs in the Channel Islands these days.

          • JH Marx

            Thay’s a lotta fuckin kinging!!!11!

          • The Wanderer

            Yep! Charlie the 5th had so many kingdoms and such that he snapped it in half like a frozen dog. He gave the Holy Roman Empire to his brother, and the Spanish Empire to his son while he went off to a monastery to live a life of retirement and gluttony.

          • Pierre_de_Fermat

            Weren’t there clocks too?

          • theCryptofishist

            Fucking show-off Hapsburgs.

    • Biff52

      Nobody ever mentions the RNC convention in Miami that year. There was a delegate with shocking white hair in a coif that would make Drumpf jealous, and the cameras loved him.

      • The Wanderer

        There was also the Vietnam Veteran’s March in Miami, and a full scale rendition of Hail to the Freaks, according to Hunter Thompson.

        • NellCote71

          Oh, if only Hunter S. and Molly were still here to guide us through these troubled waters.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Hey, no fair using the Apocrypha. I’m still working my way through Two Corinthians. Which is really great by the way. I’m a yooge fan.”

    — Donald Trump, biblical scholar

    • Spurning Beer

      It’s one time when the sequel was even better than the original. Terrific.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      One Corinthian, two Corinthians, three Corinthians, four
      Four Corinthians make a bunch and so do many more.
      Over hill and highway the golfing buggies go
      Comin’ on to bring you the Donald Trump show

      WARNING. Not suitable for Children, Adults or Animals, domesticated or otherwise.

    • boredcatlady

      mommy blog, recipe hub, bible study group

    • Left Coast Tom

      “What are the Apocrypha” should be a debate question for The Donald.

  • Dr. Krieger IRL

    So when does this get twitted at Dump to make his head pop “Scanners” style?

    • boredcatlady

      that is also a t-shirt I might buy

  • Courser

    Go ahead, take all my monies, Wonkette!

    Awesome design, Shy! Thank you!

  • Nope, won’t let me order anything but a women’s size Medium, black shirt. If it ever allows me to buy a men’s XL with another color shirt, it’s a deal. But for today I gaved up trying.

  • boredcatlady

    Lawyers: “you have to say ‘with votes.'”

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Terrible! Clearly a decapitated by votes by Donald Trump would STILL keep talking…this one has clearly given up on life. Where’s the defiance? The grandiosity? He’d still be insulting people! I just, I don’t even know anymore…

    • Biff52

      “I’ll bite your legs off”!

      • At the corner, turn left

        It’s just a flesh wound.

        • Spalding

          That’s Bernie

          • At the corner, turn left

            Actually I think Bernie is suffering from severe vote concussion. Something like that can could confused thinking.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    I can’t wait for Stormtrumpers to get a hold of this shirt….I almost feel bad that I have to work today for the inevitable moment when their beady eyes behold the graphic and their tiny brains lurch from “I am fapping to this picture of Melania Trump’s head super-imposed on Hitler’s body” to “GRRRRRRR ARRRRRGHHH LIBERALLLSSSSS!” Followed by them shaking the Cheeto dust off the generous bellies, straightening up their neckbeards with beads of sweat trickling down their freshly shaved pates and they set aside the Vaseline to come do battle on this Wonkette.

    • PubOption

      It seems that you are trying to summon the Speedo gun guy picture.

      • Cindyinencinitas

        NOOOOOOOO!!!!!1!1!!!

      • Hairstrike Alpha

        Actually I was more evoking “Seth” from “American History X”….

  • Marion in Savannah

    Sorta OT, but not really… C&L points out that there is no mention of Teh Donald on the official GOP web site.

    http://crooksandliars.com/2016/06/there-s-something-weird-missing-gop-s

    • They are wrong, I looked into it.

      There are three articles about Trump.

      But you have to search for Donald Trump, and they appear beneath five articles about Hillary in the results.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        He only gets mentioned in press releases, and only if they can’t avoid it.

  • Malmborg Implano

    From Henry VI Part 3 by the Shakespeare:

    RICHARD (soon to become Richad III): Speak thou for me and tell them what I did.

    (Throwing down SOMERSET’s head)

    • bookish

      Yassss!

  • Rick Hill

    How about a take on the Gandalf/Magneto shirt some helpful wonkemember posted yesterday. One that reads:
    I was First Lady, Senator, Secretary of State and soon to be Preznit….deal with it.

    Of course, you could only print up one of those and you have to hope she would buy it but, Hey, what a great idea!

    • Lizzietish81

      Oooh how about Galadrial doing her “All shall love me and despair!”?

  • O_Hellllllllp

    ALSO!!! OT: did ya know there is a German singer with the stage name Judith Holofernes??? You did not?? Also too you do not particularly care?? Oh well. She is kick ass, too.

  • LesBontemps

    Good choice for avoiding media conglomerate copyright infringement cease-and-desist notices.

  • Pierre_de_Fermat
    • Thaag Tidestalker

      That ones the absolute best. Girls are getting INTO the violence (unlike Carvaggio, where they look kinda hesitant). Also, Artemesia painted her own rapist’s face as Holofernes. I’ll bet painting this one was sooooo cathartic.

      • Playonwords

        Well, though Carvaggio wasn’t really into girls …

        … violence he was fine, firm taught male bodies were cool but girlies???

        • Serai 1

          Did you ever notice how all Michelangelo’s women look like men with tits? I doubt that guy ever even SAW a woman’s body in real life.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            All four of them. For a Renaissance sculptor, he was rather an outlier on that score.

          • Be Gin

            That Pieta of his at the vatican is wonderful. Mikey dressed her in the height of fashion for a very wealthy patron who also liked to boss the help around. Sound familiar?

    • mardam422

      That doesn’t look like they’re “tending to his boner”.

      • handyhippie65

        well, he won’t have one anymore when they’re done, so…

        • mardam422

          I guess “tending” is in the eye of the beholder.

    • Serai 1

      Well, Artemisia knew what Judith was feeling from experience.

    • Be Gin

      And they say Computer Gaming, comix, TV, movies etc are too violent!

      See youngsters? There’s nothing new under the sun! So let’s use Donnie’s noggin for a soccer ball!

      Or should we save it for CALVINball?!

  • YourNameHere

    It is my favorite story in the bible in fact.

    • jmk

      I also do enjoy the story of Jael, wife of Heber…and not less because it’s the one story from the Bible that Bertie Wooster is pretty sure about.

  • Donkey Option

    Aww, you couldn’t use the Artemisia Gentileschi version as a basis? That’s too bad

    • Johnnymoreno

      Compared to the Caravaggio version. Artemisia showed much more gusto for the chore.

  • Once&futureFred

    Holofernes was an Assyrian general, If I’m not mistaken.

    • therblig

      hillary looks good with a hot piece of assyrian on her arm

  • edith prickly

    Don’t look directly at the head, lest you be turned to stone…

  • I really really wish I had a relative with a baby who I could buy that onesie for, but my relatives tend to clothe their babies in Larry the Cable Guy onesies, unfortunately.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      All the more reason to get it. They’d never know!

  • Cindyinencinitas

    Even though my friend Cheryl, who told me about this site, says Hitlery is a war criminal, I got the phone case because that gold robe is to die for.

  • Ikimizi

    They are all the wrong shirt for me to wear to a family gathering.

    • chascates

      Maybe you have the wrong family!

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      That is precisely why you wear it to your family gathering.

    • Be Gin

      My trolling of alpha male primates in my own family tree at family reunions has always been it’s own reward.

      But if your tree has lotsa money in it you may be better off not doing so…there’s no sense in pissing off Uncle Larry if it means getting written out of the will.

      But if they are poor as church mice then I say GO FOR IT! They are ripe for some educational lessons about artistic expression!!

      • Ikimizi

        There’s some money in the family, but I’m not likely to see much. The problem is that anytime I so much as hint that invading Iraq was maybe not the best idea, I get gang-tackled, and they act like I’ve just grown a second head. Of course, Uncle Vic can talk about nuking the Middle East, because it’s not like that creates family tension, or anything.

        • Be Gin

          I can relate! Enjoy some peace, love and happiness this weekend however you can.

  • mardam422

    Can we get a photoshop of Wonkababby cutting off Trump’s head. I mean, we won’t get it if we don’t ask.

  • bookish

    CNN reporting Bernie has emerged from his meeting with Obama, and is promising to work with Hillary to defeat Trump.

  • bookish

    From Bloomberg, one day ago. This should be a clear enough message for anybody.

    http://www.bloomberg.com/politics/articles/2016-06-08/top-democrats-to-sanders-it-s-time-to-support-hillary-clinton

  • Bill Slider

    Do like the major league baseball teams do, everyone gets x-large on free T-shirt day. Just add 10 minutes to the normal dry cycle if it’s a on the roomy side.

  • Peripatetic Poltroon

    I do not like this shirt. I think it violates Wonkette’s “no killing the bad guys” rule, even with “With Votes” on the bottom. If it were Trump holding Hillary’s head it would be:
    – another sign of Trump’s misogyny
    – a not so coded invitation for violence
    – creepy

    • rebecca

      completely agree.

      BAD WONKET.

    • Steely_Fan

      I couldn’t agree more.

    • Cipher

      Agree, if it were reversed the people reponding here would be hating it. Violence is OK if your politics are OK is the message. So sad…

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    This is one of my favorite Bible stories. There are a lot of hidden women in the Bible but Judith is right out there in front. So yes, had to buy it. Thanks Obama.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Also, stop making it so easy for me to buy things on the intertubes.

  • handyhippie65

    you sent me the right shirt. anybody want a bernie shirt? i shoulda just bought a wonkette kitty. i would still like it. my truck fump shirt is awesome, by the way! it gets me lots of dirty looks round here though.

  • berkeleyfarm

    This shirt is Church Lady APPROVED! Bill as the handmaid is a nice touch.

    Judith is a bad-ass. It took me a while to get to the story because she got left out of the full-Protestant Bible.

  • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

    Can I get this on a baby onesie?

  • MCLepus

    Holofernes was an ASSyrian general. Yehudith is my HomeGirl

  • Biel_ze_Bubba
  • Paperless Tiger

    Heads will roll.

  • Jeff in the desert

    Borrowed from the State of Virginia……..Sic Semper Trumpus

  • Be Gin

    OK! How much?

    Yeah I’ma have to take the penny jar down to the coinstar machine at the supermarket and do some capitalism with Wonkette!

  • phoenix00

    Has our dear Wonkette been sending baby clothes to seniors? Go home adorable truth-seeking website of truth, you’re drunk!

  • sadboy

    I would like a Wonkette t-shirt of Trump’s face on Goya’s “Saturn Devouring One Of His Sons” with the caption “REPUBLICAN CONVENTION – CLEVELAND 2016”.

    • The Wanderer

      Oh Lord, yes! A perfect artistic metaphor!

  • kimcasey

    Not one word about the original artist! For shame, what were you going to use that Art History degree for anyway? Live in the basement? Artemesia Gentileschi, or “better than Carvaggio, bitches” as we AH majors like to say……http://www.artemisia-gentileschi.com/

    • proudgrampa

      I get all my news, porn, and Art Appreciation lessons from Wonkette.

  • Ants In My Eyes Johnson

    Is there a fridge magnet, or a car magnet/decal of the “I was born to do this” design? I would buy both.

  • Killairy

    That’s most disgusting thing since Wonkette laught at Palin’s son.

    • bbayliss

      Believe what you will but the story about Palin’s son was about her craven political use of her disabled child not about his disability.
      BTW “laught” is not a word.

  • Andrew Bellware

    That Wonkette cat design on the onesie is amazing. I need it on many different things. As I have no kids, buying a onesie seems awkward to me. Maybe I need to get over myself. In the meantime I want it on other things!

    • berkeleyfarm

      I too would buy the cute kitty on various objects for grownups.

  • DaveM

    Liz Warren already gets me a little worked up and you have to put that up? Damn you. Thanks too.

  • creeper

    Hey, weren’t you guys the ones who screamed to the skies when Sarah Palin put a target over Shrub? Hypocritical much?

    Goose, gander.

    • Brendan_M

      No, Rep. Gifford. And not really.

    • Jonny On Maui

      From our friend creeper here: “So my gay sister went camping with me Sunday night. She did not want to discuss the events in Orlando. Evidently gays haven’t been told by their overlords what to think about this so they’re just ignoring it.
      Funny, that. My sisters have labeled me a homophobe for years because I’m not out there marching for gay rights every day. Butt Muzzies slaughtering gays is evidently not cause for comment.
      This is almost impossible to process. There is no solution to the threat we face from Islam, short of banning the practice of it in the United States.
      I do not believe that will ever happen. We will continue to welcome our conquerors until it is too late.”

      You seem nice, bless your heart…

      • theCryptofishist

        He said that? No wonder his sister didn’t want to discuss the Orlando massacre. I’m amazed she went camping with him.

        In fact, I don’t think she did. Most people don’t go camping on Sundays. Of course, snowflake may not have a job. Or a sister.

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      So says someone who wants to ban/expel an entire minority group from this country….

  • Killary Obama Hussein

    Yup Hillary did take millions from terrorist countries and Huma Abedin is a terrorist so that picture is accurate! So glad that that c u n t will go to jail soon!!

  • Fess Aria

    Thank you for your hatred. have a nice day.

    • Jonny On Maui

      you’re welcome thrumper

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      No problem, fussy Aryan glad to chip in…just make sure you heil the Trumpenfuhrer….he is very, very thin skinned.

  • Fox Patriot ✘

    In a world where you can’t see anyone else holding severed heads except for Muslims, and a devout Muslim who brought prayer mat to work, prayed multiple times/day and went to Mecca twice just slaughtered dozens of innocents in Orlando, these Hillary Clinton-supporting Islamophile #RegressiveLeft-ists are actually insane with this sort of incitement.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Tho this is no surprise at all, from our friend, hehehe, Fox Patriot: “You will love President Trump #fact”

      Poor lil snowflake. November’s gonna be hard on you…

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      Shut up you little bitch…just like your orange, pathetic candidate. Whiney, scared little bitch.

  • drugbunny

    I wonder what would happen if you showed Trump holding Hillary’s severed head?

    • Brendan_M

      It would reinforce his violently misogynistic rhetoric towards her and inappropriately make light of the epidemic of violence against women.

      • daisypony

        Brendan, me thinks you are retarded.

        • Jonny On Maui

          A thrumper calling someone retarded. It just doean’t get any better!

          HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahah…. Ah, thank you!

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          who are you kidding? You don’t think…

        • JMP

          Oh, and use of a slur against the disabled as an insult! Once again the right wing proves what horrible people they are.

        • Hairstrike Alpha

          That’s the best you can come up with? And it’s methinks, dumbass. You don’t really prove your superior intelligence by screwing up your own sentence that you are insulting them in….

        • Brendan_M

          I very much doubt you think.

  • Big Ed

    We’ve come to expect this sort of thing from the radical left. The seething hatred for anyone not just like them is palpable. What’s really odd it, this is what they accuse people who are center right of. You never let us down with your displays of bias and hatred.
    Thanks for putting it on display.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      seething hatred? don’t flatter yourself, dumbass. No one gives a shit about your ignorant ass enough to hate you- we’re just making fun of you

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      Projection is such a wonderful thing. Yes the left hates people who are different than them which is why we demand healthcare for everyone, equal rights for all people and gun policies to stop gun violence. Wingnuts obviously are the love people what with your opposition to all of the above, mindless support for war, racism, sexism, bigotry and absolute love of guns over facts, denial of climate science and your love of capital punishment.

  • Ambush_Bug

    Yeah but Bill Clinton is the rapist.

    • Brendan_M

      According to court documents, only Trump is the accused rapist.

    • Lizzietish81

      Really? Cause Monica said it was consensual

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      Uh yeah so Ivana claimed Trump raped her and made it part of their divorce. But it’s okay if you’re an orange tinted Mussolini knock-off….

    • Jonny On Maui

      Please point to his conviction.

      That’s right. Like your accusation and all your friends, it’s imaginary…

      • Ambush_Bug

        Yes, because rape accusations are always lies unless there is a conviction. At least you admit you are a sexist scumbag who don’t believe rape victims and an abject hypocrite.

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          Never mind those right winger ladies said oh, well, no that actually didn’t happen, and then said oh wait, his wife is running for president? Let us recant our recant…..
          Guess the right wing is awfully good at recanting their recants of the recanted. Good to be good at something, be proud!

          Edit: Ps: you are really bad at this. Try harder. We demand only the best here at Wonkette.

        • Jonny On Maui

          Wow! You got ALL of that out of my little reply? You didn’t stay away from the brown acid, did you…

  • JoeDrager

    Isn’t it illegal to threaten the killing of a presidential candidate?

    • anwisok

      Yes, yes it is. Since no one is doing that, why do you ask?

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      You have to really work hard to call this a death threat, why you must be as thin skinned and pants shitty as the Trumpus himself! Good job, fuckface!

  • J Niles

    Hillary is a criminal cunt.

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      Donald Trump is a two-bit used car salesman who wouldn’t be managing a Dairy Queen if he hadn’t been born to money. Also, he should be in jail for his fraud but he’s rich so ya know….

    • Lizzietish81

      She is warm and deep yes

    • Jonny On Maui

      You are a thing of few words. All of them horrible. Congrats!

  • superdough

    The left has become a violent movement against anyone who would dare to disagree with them.

    • Brendan_M

      A religious conservative just murdered dozens at a gay nightclub. How many deaths from liberals lately?

      • karatekawoman
        • Jen_Baker_VA

          You folk really like your lil preconceived notions. So…only Republicans can be religious conservatives, ehhhh?

        • Brendan_M

          Kim Davis was a gay-hating religious conservative and a registered Democrat. And that isn’t from a tabloid.

      • mia

        He was an Islamic homosexual who couldn’t reconcile the contradiction!

        • Brendan_M

          Too bad he couldn’t just live a lie his whole life, like Republicans tend to. Or maybe we can end homophobia completely and encourage people to live happily and truthfully. Maybe the Republican party will start doing its part and end its war on LGBT people!

      • Schlange

        He was a registered Democrat, try again. A muslim religious conservative is light years different from a Jewish or Christian religious conservative. But hey, don’t let facts get in the way of your agenda.

        • Hairstrike Alpha

          Not really, both groups preach that women belong in the home. All three are anti-science. All three are anti-gay. All three oppose women’s rights. They are all prone to religious violence- Muslims use non-state suicide attacks while their fundie Jewish and Christian counterparts tend to use state violence. All three believe they are the one true faith and all three are VIOLENTLY intolerant of other groups. They all have immense persecution complexes as well. With the exception of some differences in their fundamentals all three oppose modernity, social progress and they tend to be tight asses about helping those in need. It’s harder to find divergence beyond the surface that it is convergence….

        • Jonny On Maui

          From our friend Schange here: “What exactly is it that fat black women are supposedly providing? I guess maybe some shade…”

          Racist much?

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            Wow, racist Trump supporter? YOU DONT SAY????

          • Jonny On Maui

            I KNOW! I’m SHOCKED!

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          nope shitforbrains, they are all nearly alike in their intolerance and hate.

          But hey, don’t let reality get in the way of your bullshit

        • JMP

          Nope! A Muslim religious conservative is practically the same as a Jewish or Christian religious conservative.

          By the way, names of all religions are supposed to be capitalized; your racism is showing.

      • superdough

        Islamic Terrorists are now “religious conservatives”? Really? How does it feel living in the dark?

        Conservatives in this country have been calling for restrictions on immigration from Islamic countries for decades. The only place you find Christian conservatives killing gays in nightclubs is in your fantastical dreams.

        • Hairstrike Alpha

          They are social conservatives and actually tend to vote Republican. Maybe if you knew more about demographics and less about fapping it to Melania Trump’s head super imposed on Eva Braun’s body there Stormtrumper….

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          yes really, shitforbrains

        • Donkey Option

          Ummm, the term “religious” covers all religions. Brendan did not say “Christian” conservative, but religious, which, if you are consistent, would qualify as religious conservatism.

        • Hairstrike Alpha

          That’s mostly the backdrop of your general racism….I’ll also note that conservatives in Islamic countries don’t like immigration either, which explains the restrictions.

        • JMP

          Yes, right-wing Muslim fundamentalists are just as much religious conservatives as right-wing Christian conservatives. Hell, they believe in pretty much all the same things; they just hate each other over a few minor doctrinal differences; basically the only difference is belief that Jesus was god’s son versus belief he was god’s prophet.

      • BuckeyeSam

        Registered Democrat and, it appears, a gay guy.

        • Brendan_M

          A self-hating gay, driven by the conflict of the homophobia of his religious upbringing and the way he was born. He should have been a Republican or a spokesman for the American Family Association.

    • Jonny On Maui

      HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh thank you for the laugh! I enjoyed it so!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      You’re projecting again, right wing fucktard.

    • Lizzietish81

      Here we have the projecting troll. He attributes his own qualities onto his enemies because he needs to feel justified in his pettyness.

  • MissV

    Your T-shirt of the severed head of Trump is losing Hillary votes as well as some calling the DNC at (202) 863-8000 and leaving them a message showing how they are supporting violence. Give them a call and voice your complaints!

    • Brendan_M

      The fuck the DNC have to do with this? It’s the GOP who opposes gun control and the VAWA.

      • mia

        And this dem site is promoting violence. She just lost my vote. Tired of my fellow democrats

        • Hairstrike Alpha

          Shut up you obvious Trumpite….

          • Donkey Option

            The best part is that then their friends go on other websites and claim “look at these people, who were Dems, who are being turned off by all of this. We were right!”

          • theCryptofishist

            Friends?

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          You were never a democrat, so, there is that.

        • anwisok

          So sure you were ever planning to vote for her.

          • Lizzietish81

            She’s pretty anti abortion apparently

        • Lizzietish81

          Looking at your history, I’m thinking you are full of lies.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          Jesus hates it when you lie about being a Dem

        • Brendan_M

          You were never a Democrat, asshole.

      • Schlange

        If you want to control violence, try controlling the muslims. This shirt is disgusting and promotes the type of violence that liberals claim to be against but seeming oddly OK with.

        • Jonny On Maui

          HAHAHAHAHA!!! Control the muslims! Thank you for the laugh!

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          holy shit you’re an idjit

        • Lizzietish81

          This is violence by Jews on the t shirt

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      Right, I’m sure a shirt from Wonkette is torpedoing the Hillary campaign and also, shouldn’t you be more bothered by the fact that she’s holding him by the hair when he clearly wears a wig?

    • Jonny On Maui

      HAHAHAHA!!! This is great! Keep the laughter coming!

  • Paladin

    Wonkette has joined the Minions of Moloch along with Cankles!!!

    • Jonny On Maui

      From our friend here: “Onward Christian Soldiers and anyone else who wants to join!!!”

      I’ll pass on all your stuff, thanks!

    • JMP

      You seem to lying about your class; paladins must be lawful good, while you’re clearly chaotic evil.

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      Funny, I don’t remember Paladin’s being dumbass, inbred rednecks…but I guess that would be a Paladin among Trump supporters. You’re missing your swastika by the way.

  • Charybdis69

    Scrolling down the right side-bar, I see this site collects donations with Soviet communist imagery. Sex-fetish Commies for Hillary! Seems pretty apt to me.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Course it is. we get ALL the sexy funtime!

    • Rufus T. Firefly

      All Power to the Workers’ and Commenters’ Soviets!

      Firefly 2016! Re-engreaten Freedonia!

  • Charlie

    Really? You think that T-Shirt is going to win support for Hillary? If anything it just confirms the presupposition 20-somethings have that Hillary’s entire campaign is just a bunch of old women’s-lib nuts trying to get some corrupt crook elected.

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      As opposed to arch-fraudster Casino Mussolini and his group of basement dwellers that fap to anime girls dressed as Nazis….like you.

      • Charlie

        Classic liberal argument. Attack the opponent instead of focusing on your own candidate’s shortcomings. Hillary Clinton should be in jail for the release of state secrets and for pay-to-play while secretary of state. Her crazy people created a T-Shirt which is reprehensible and should be condemned by all.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Yup! I’ll take advice from mister ‘sex orientation is a choice’.

      Wadda moran…

    • JMP

      Referring to feminism as “women’s lib”, now that’s a sign that someone is truly ancient. And calling feminists “nuts” is a sign that they’re a giant asshole.

      • Charlie

        Most of Hillary’s supporters are truly ancient, and many younger Democrats see her for the criminal she is. I’m glad I communicated effectively. The shirt design is sick and disturbing! ‘Nuts’ is a polite way of referring to anybody who would defend such trash. You are advocating extreme violence and terrorism, giving cover to the horrors committed by radical Islamic terrorists and their supporters, that some time violence is justified and it is okay to barbarically behead someone you don’t agree with. You, Lizzietish81, Zippie W Pinhead, Sullivan St, Hijabi Rockstar, Donkey Option, AngryKatie, Mission Drifter and Jonny On Maui are lending support terrorism and that is definitely nuts.

        • JMP

          Hahahhaha. Nice replying to a six-day old comment on a week and a half old post! And you just throw in a whole bunch of libel against both this country’s next President and all the regulars here, and in a way that both throws in a bunch of racist bullshit and makes no sense. How the fuck do you get advocating terrorism from this, really?

          But then, someone who regularly posts at fucking Breitbart is probably not capable of even understanding the concept of rational thought.

  • David McWhertor

    “(WITH VOTES)”!!

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      Awwww, cute! Did you think of that one all by your onesies or did mamma help you out with it?

      • Help from your mammy . . . while she wasn’t busy wiping off her chin.

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          If that makes sense to you, precious, that is all that matters *pat*
          Now then, sugar, do you like leather?
          Because I like domming lil men and teaching them how to embrace their true nature.
          Figure, can’t get any smaller than you.
          How about it?

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            I see you typing. BOTH hands, Gordon, both hands now.

          • You must be busy trying to wipe off the keys while struggling to use fingers that don’t go in a hole.

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            Keep trying, you will hit on an actual sentence with structure sooner or later!

          • anwisok

            Have fun. He’s already boring, so I’m out.

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            QUITTER.
            I am just trying to get one coherent sentence out of him.
            I have faith. I am sure he can do it.

          • Pierre_de_Fermat

            I don’t think so. I sense he’s trying, really trying (and if we were there, we’d pick up on the burnt rubber smell), but at the end of the day, it is just too much.

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            I am a liberal. I have unlimited faith in our fellow man’s ability to be taught.
            And he soooo so wants to be taught. Though I think I mighta scared him :/ Maybe came on a bit strong. Next time, be nicer and lead them into embracing their inner sub more slowly?

          • Pierre_de_Fermat

            Well … (thinking) … maybe. But let’s not get our hopes up. He seems to be into conspiracies, so ….

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            The conspiracy loons are the most malleable. They’ll believe just about everything for they hunger and thirst to be told what to do, how to think.
            Brings out the artist in me….

          • Pierre_de_Fermat

            Now …. be nice …
            eh, wth, they’re nitwits anyway, they won’t know the diff. Looks as though a new one has shown up. JFC actually being *funny* seems beyond them. I’m not sure they grasp the concept.

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            I am not sure yet if it is a genetic defect, a self inflicted issue, or something taught from young age.
            Or all three.
            It is a sad, sad condition. I should make a fund to study it.

          • Wee Mousie

            There was this theory that if you set a million monkeys at a million typewriters writing a million words, somehow you would wind up with Shakespeare.

            That theory has been blown out of the water because — The Internet.

          • Wow!! A little dick joke from a dyke. What a shock!!! Obviously, you like leather. But do you get upset when we remove your hide and tan it for comfortable seating?

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            Still, makes no sense sugar, but twas not a lil dick joke. It was a little man joke.
            Unless you call your dick lil man? To each his own.
            I have dubbed you Gordon. I am thinking Latex for you.

          • Good for you Jen; I’m thinking you’ve already depleted your monthly supply of penicillin; don’t forget to refill.

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            Still doesn’t make sense, Gordon. Try harder. First you begin with a subject, then you follow it through with a thought and then you close it with a punch line. You keep skipping steps one and three and that is why no one laughs at your jokes.
            Poor fellow. That is ok, I can help you!

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            if he wants a little dick joke- just call him by name

    • JMP

      Aw, it’s a hideous misogynist slur, how clever! And flagged.

  • Lizzietish81

    Right, who lit the asshole signal?

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      They’re like…days late.
      Fucking monkey brigade is slacking.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      the braindead minions are running amok because the “thought leaders” from team Make America Hate Again can’t come up with a coherent message about Orlando. Mindless morons are all stuck spinning in circles trying to figure out what to shit on next…

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        Looks like they bravely tucked their tails and ran. Likely to return when they think no one will notice.
        What a weird way to spend your time

        • Donkey Option

          Can they go yell at each other and leave us in peace? Although I wouldn’t even be back on this thread if I hadn’t come by to gawk at the stupidity.

          • Lizzietish81

            Just think of it as click revenue

    • hildabeast. she lit it with the fire projected from that gash right beneath her navel; smells worse than gasoline and is twice as volatile; just ask billy boy.

      • JMP

        Frequent communities: Breitbart News Network, The Washington Times, and Infowars. So far right super-racist shithole, fat right shithole, and completely bugfuck insane conspiracy mongering shithole.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Pssst, hey shitforbrains, you’re not supposed to voice your pathetic sexual fantasies out loud

      • Lizzietish81

        Here we have the misogynist troll. He has deep resentment towards all women and will use sexual imagery, usually violent, in order to intimidate other women.

      • tehbaddr

        Right beneath her navel? You really are a virgin aren’t you?

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          AOT,K

          worse than as Trekkie convention (and not nearly as pleasant)

  • JMP
    • Jen_Baker_VA

      Equalizer? lolz

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      just a junior member of the echochamber, desperate for attention

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Interesting – the story and comments make it sound like they’re opposed to incivility in political discourse, hence the objection to the Holofernes shirt. But I really don’t think that’s quite, y’know, true.

      • JMP

        Just looking at their actual comments about “hildabeast” kind of proves that.

        • theCryptofishist

          Hildabeest? That’s a gnu one.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        as always IOKIYAR

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      Nice job tracking down the source of the infection…now it must be excised from the comments. Or ya know, mocked unmercifully because Trumpites are such thin skinned little bitches in regards to the Authoritarian Orange…

    • Jonny On Maui

      Anybody thank them for all the clicks?

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        Knew I forgot something.

        • Jonny On Maui

          Well, I just did. Should be interesting…

  • Steven Lang

    The irony is that these products are brought to you by the wonders of capitalism….if you want to buy the product(s), by all means feel free to do so and if you don’t wish to purchase any products, then phucking don’t….see how easy that works, capitalism gives the consumer the final say in the matter….I hope the Wonkette sells a shat-load of product and I hope those vendors that have products in support of T-rump sell a shat-load too!

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      Idk, if it is all the same to you, I think we could do with a lot less shat loads in this here country.
      Edit: Also, we get to say fuck here.
      FUCKING fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      That’s not irony, shatpants. You don’t even know what irony means….

    • Jonny On Maui

      From our new friend: “Burn everything to the ground is just what the establishment organized crime political parties and the azzkissing news media establishment deserve and I hope they get….in spades!!”

      You seem nice…

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    I FUCKING CALLED IT with this shirt! Probably from SMOTI country or dead Breitbart’s home for ED’ed fascists…

    • tehbaddr

      We all new this would be coming, surprised it took this long.

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        slackers. Seriously, 3 days? Friggin slow assed slacking monkey brigade.

  • GuateNY

    In reality, Bill would be playing the part of Holofernes. FEEL THE BERN!!!!

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      Not really, no. But hey, you be you in all your glory there.

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      Not according to Ivana Trump….Donald raping her is actually part of their divorce records whereas Bill Clinton has never been accused of rape outside of the far right.

      • GuateNY

        Both Trump and Bill are rapist, misogynistic aholes. Typical privileged Whites.

        • Jonny On Maui

          Well, you see in the real world, reality, if you will, only one has been actually factually accused and it’s not Bill.

          But then, reality isn’t your strong suit…

    • Jonny On Maui

      I’m not sure you know what ‘reality’ means…

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      FEEL THE BERN

      i’m sure there are bunches of Sanders supporters at that RW site that linked to this story- thousands of them, I’m sure

      /eyeroll

      • Jonny On Maui

        Not a thrumper in bernie wool, oh no…

        • GuateNY

          Ohh the butthurt Hillary supporter. Did I offend you? Are you wittle feewings hurt?

          • Jonny On Maui

            Offend me? Hurt my feelings? Hell no! I’ve enjoyed the HELL laughing at you.

            Porr lil thrumper. November’s gonna be hard on you.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            little dimwit actually thinks he’s winning this conversation- too funny

          • GuateNY

            I can’t win against someone that has made almost 19,000 comments on Disqus. Must be your job. How do they pay you? In McDonald’s coupons?

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Now I am done

            Another lie. You really can’t help yourself, can you?

          • GuateNY

            Stop responding to my comments then.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Still not done lying?

            LMAO. The guy who can’t control his temper long enough to stop replying to us accuses everyone else of being angry. Project much, Mr Butthurt?

          • Jonny On Maui

            You really don’t know how this works, do you.

            I’m beginning to suspect GuateNY discovered its mother’s computer was unlocked…

      • GuateNY

        I’m sure there are so many elitist Wall Street pigs that support Hillary with all her Goldman Sachs money. Later loser!!!!

        • Jonny On Maui

          November is going to be hard on you.

          • GuateNY

            No, I am just going back to my country if Hillary of Trump win. So I don’t give a f**k.

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            You already said later. Stick by your word you gutless flipflopper.
            Also, you can say fuck here

          • Jonny On Maui

            Don’t let the door hit ya!

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            He keeps teasing us that he is gonna go home, I mean it, no fairs, but then keeps returning. I have the urge to yell “Squirrel!!!!”

          • Tansy Geek

            I hear Dumbfuckistan is lovely in the autumn.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          and I’m sure you’re full of shit. Thanks for confirming that…

          • GuateNY

            Oh Mr. Butthurt, are you angry? Why so angry?

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            not very bright, either, I see. Mocking you dolts is actually FUN

          • GuateNY

            More fun to make losers curse and get angry at any Hillary criticism. Have a good day, Mr. Butthurt.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            I thought you were leaving. We’ll be sure to add liar to the list of things wrong with you

            ROFL

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            GOOD DAY SIR
            I said GOOD DAY SIR~~~~~
            gigglesnort.

          • GuateNY

            Great comebacks you have. So witty. Do you think of them all by yourself?

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            You just can’t help yourself, can you. Is it compulsory, do you think, or something deeper? Be honest, this is for science.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Not all of us can be so clever as to mindless repeat “butthurt” over and over

          • GuateNY

            So witty! Again, nice one!!!

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Jen is right, you really can’t help yourself. How sad…

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            It’s like Pavlov. I swear. Amazing to watch, never thought I would see it in a human

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Who the fuck is Jen?

            This one is especially clueless, lol. “Herp derp, I hate Hillary”

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            I think it might be Gordon, from below.
            He is attempting to hide from his true feelings. Poor lil lamb

          • GuateNY

            Who the fuck is Jen?

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            one of the many people here mocking you for being such a dumbfuck? Geez, learn to read, pal. This is getting embarrassing…

          • GuateNY

            Stop resorting to that language. As they say, when you can’t think of anything clever to say, you get angry and curse. Please do not respond. I am done.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Go fuck yourself. How was that?

            ROFL, what a pearl clutching little child. Shall I get you a fainting couch? A cool beverage, perhaps?

          • Jonny On Maui

            Wrong tense. You were done long ago…

          • tehbaddr

            Do the bawdy comments bother you? Perhaps you should just go tongue punch your Grandma’s fart box instead of trying to hang around with grown-ups.

          • GuateNY

            You’ve made almost 19,000 comments on Discus? Please get a life. Sheesh!

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            Says the subbie trying to pretend he is a dom by yammering at people on the internets!

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            I am done

            Still lying, I see

          • GuateNY

            What do you do all day? Over 18,000 comments. This is getting creepy. Now I am done.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            we’ve already established that you’re a chronic liar- do some more tricks for me, pretend BernieBro. Stalking people’s comment history is boring…

  • Matt Davis

    This is so funny I can’t stop laughing

    https://youtu.be/Y2FuZzxgfrw

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      Proof that conservatives have no sense of humor, scientifically proven now, thank you for your page clicks, comrade ^.^

      • Matt Davis

        what are you talking about? I’m laughing my ass off

        • Jonny On Maui

          Of course you are. You laugh at all the inappropiate things like crushing puppies.

          Just cuz you want to shoot her…

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          thanks for proving her point, dumbass

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            They are, however REALLY good at proving my point.
            Be proud!

          • Biggus Dickus

            You’re welcome

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      Well I suppose if your sex life involves lubing yourself up with gun oil and masturbating to “Guns N’ Ammo” then it’s hilarious….

  • The Halversons

    New suggestion for your next Hillary T-shirt:

    • Jonny On Maui

      ROWL!!

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        Smexy?Discus is not letting me see.
        NO FAIR. RIGGED

        • Jonny On Maui

          May not be your cup of tea…

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            you know I am an unrelenting pervert, Jonny. It is ALL my cup of tea.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Did you try refreshing? Why am I asking a veteran a stupid question? The bong has the answers! Off to the BongCave!

    • tehbaddr

      SO here you are you rascal you.

  • Dual Bag

    This is a website for fucktards

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      it is now

      • Jonny On Maui

        Perfect!

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      With that avatar I’ll assume it’s your kind of place, teabagger,

    • tehbaddr

      Dual Bag? Like two sets of balls you suck on at the same time? Impressive!

  • penahs

    Nice rack on the MILF who does this site.

    • rebecca

      true.

      • tehbaddr

        Huzza!

    • Msgr_Moment

      idk. I like this one.

  • tehbaddr

    Somethings going on with the Disqus, I think Dok is here cleaning house.

    • doktorzoom

      Eh, could be!

  • Enfant Terrible

    O Hai, vizitors! Glad you could join us! Wouldja like to know how the election will go for your boy Deadbeat Don? Wouldja? Well, here you go!

    https://youtu.be/JCoZBc1uHPg

  • You_Dirty_Rat

    Who knew Wonkette was a big ISIS fan. You go girl.

    • dikfor

      Bernie had wonkette girls in mind when he wrote his ’72 essay.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Yup! We’re a big fan of the goddess…

      • MausFeet

        And Archer.

      • Wee Mousie

        Isn’t that the hood ornament off a 1938 Hupmobile?

      • Enfant Terrible

        Osiris is pretty cool too. But we’re more into the sun god.

        Here’s to the Sun God,
        He sure is a Fun God,
        Ra! Ra! Ra!

  • HeyNav

    The left calling for violence. Thought you guys were all peace and love. And given what has happened to Americans in Syria your t-shirt is pretty low rent.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Project much?

      • HeyNav

        At least I am not a hypocrite.

        • Jonny On Maui

          Again, project much?

    • tehbaddr

      Almost as low rent as your DRUMPF demagogue!

  • Goodgold

    The Feds will be looking into this company.

    • Juan de Fuca

      Sounds like somebody supports big government!

      • Goodgold

        Not at all. I just know you can’t make a death threat against a presidential candidate.

        • Juan de Fuca

          I think you do. I assume that you’re smart enough to figure out the image is no way meant as a threat against anybody. I also assume you’re smart enough to understand the wit, nuance and at minimum, the sarcasm intended by the image – it’s a joke and a damn good one if it’s pissed you Trump supporters off this badly. If you’re smart enough to figure out it’s snark – a joke, then you apparently want the federal government to begin regulating jokes.
          Sounds like big government to me.

          • Goodgold

            Just telling you what the law says. I’m sure they have algorithms to catch these threats.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Tell you what, why don’t you give them a call and see what they have to say.

            BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

          • UPDATED

            You know you are on a good web sight when they have a sponsored AD for how to get “RID” of Herpes , And for good!

            Classy

          • Jonny On Maui

            And you would know rape lover.

          • Juan de Fuca

            And tell them to bring the cakes we like!

          • Pierre_de_Fermat

            “algorithms”? Tell me about these “algorithms”.

          • doktorzoom

            THEY. HAVE. ALGORITHMS!

          • Pierre_de_Fermat

            Say no more. Teh ALGORITHMS are all-seeing, all-knowing, all-powerful. Thou art the One Who Was Foretold.

          • theCryptofishist

            Just another made up muslim word…

          • Msgr_Moment

            Math. Is. Hard?

        • Jonny On Maui

          He’s already dead from the neck up, what’s to hurt?

        • MausFeet

          Correct! Good thing this is a shirt and nowhere contains a death threat. Whew!

    • tehbaddr

      That’s OK it’s humor (with votes) unlike the Donald offering to pay any legal fees for his thugs that beat protesters!

      • R. S.

        Give me a break! There is NO comparison to Hildabeast and Nazi Soros bussing in professional protesters nationwide to rant, block traffic, attack, and beat Trump supporters. A great example are the rallies in Albuquerque, New Mexico and San Jose, CA. Many of these organizations are funded by them such as Moveon.org, Acorn, etc.

        • tehbaddr

          You should feed them rodents in yer head what make the gears of your brain turn, 5 days to respond, really. Anywhoo I’m sure Donald Trumpthinskin would have widely publicized if his supporters were to be beat up. Nice try down trodden white minority wingnut fuckwad. Get yourself a time machine so you can go back to the good old days, when hate speech was common place, and racism and bigotry ran unfettered. Asswipe!

  • UPDATED

    If you think this “T” is funny you should have a look on you tube at that video of her getting raped! Now that is funny and great CGI work! even Bill would love it

    • Jonny On Maui

      The avatar says it all, but still, from our new friend here: “Tyranny Tranny Hildabeast has NEVER been a women”

      That and a rape enthusiast. Your mama must be so proud!

      • UPDATED

        GOD Bless you and your FAMILY!

        • Jonny On Maui

          Thanks, but we have no need of magic sky fairies, we’ll live in reality. Thanks anyway!

          • UPDATED

            I will pray for them as they have no one to show them the way.
            Thats what I’m here for

          • Jonny On Maui

            You’re here for make believe. Makes total sense. Wouldn’t want to actually do something positive, oh no. Leave it all up to your imagination. That’s fine. It’s your time to waste.

          • UPDATED

            I will pray for you too! God loves you and I love you ! We are all gods children.

          • Jonny On Maui

            If you insist. You could do something real that actually helped people, but I guess not. Just another religious nut that thinks their thoughts actually do something.

            Makes me sad. i pity you.

          • MausFeet

            You’re quick Jonny, half of the people wasting their time crapping in the comments get deleted before I know they’re here. ;)

          • Jonny On Maui

            I’ve been lucky today. There was a ‘call to troll’ that I saw as soon as it came up. Then just as I got back, these fine folk showed up.

            It’s been fun and diverting…

          • Wee Mousie

            I want a paternity test, and if it’s positive, to bring a lawsuit about child abuse.

    • MausFeet

      Doing God’s work, implying rape is hilarious. Bless.

  • MausFeet

    Dok’s too fast, I missed all the ‘fun’.

    • Jonny On Maui

      I think updated and goodgold have flown the coop. Not to worry, more will show up for sure…

      • MausFeet

        True, there’s a seemingly endless supply.

  • Conservative American

    This is to the child that she gave birth to. I feel for you but always remember you are not able to pick the family you are born into. You will be able to walk away from such a bitter mother one day. Do not let her corrupt you with the leftist socialistic commie common core education. She knows not what she does. How a female is able to support Hillary Rodman Clinton who is an enabler for her rapist husband and take money from the Arab Muslims in the Middle East who have no respect for women. Who also believe women are to be owned and beaten when ever they get out of line.

    • MausFeet

      Well Bless Your Heart.

    • Juan de Fuca

      Are you a “100% Pure Bred Scottish Infidel” or a “Conservative American Infidel”? Sounds like you’re trying to be a “Hyphenated American Infidel” and no true Conservative American believes in that hyphenated American stuff.

  • bubbuhh

    Is it time for a shirt featuring Trunip cutting his own head off (with twitters); or, would that be better a month or two after the Cleveland Massacre (with balloons and delegate votes)?

  • Feet2Fire

    Disgusting. Can’t you find a decent way to make a buck?

    Feel sorry for any kid that might have the hard luck to be ‘connected’ to you.

    GO TRUMP! MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! BUILD THAT WALL,
    AND MAYBE CATAPULT HILLARY AND HER “FANS” OVER IT…

    https://a.disquscdn.com/uploads/mediaembed/images/2386/6575/original.jpg?w=600&h=454

    https://earloftaint.files.wordpress.com/2015/08/boxcars.jpg?w=630

    http://wonkette.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/drunkhilz3.jpg

    • tehbaddr

      Is that an orange ferret on your head?

      • Feet2Fire

        Yeah, sure, whatever you say. Let’s focus on the ‘essential’ and ignore the ‘inconsequential,’ like all the **** that’s happened to America since the Chicago Thugs came on scene. Nobody does DENIAL like the DEMS!

        :)

        • tehbaddr

          Thugs? Oh right, that a code word for black people, you’re calling the President a thug. Racist much you bigot!

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            Dog whistles are so 2012 – with the Drumpfenfuhrer leading the pack, they can just come right out with it.

        • Enfant Terrible

          Were you in a coma during the first decade of this century?

        • Jay Vaughn

          I think the Chicago Thugs have a shot at the tittle this year.

          • LastWord

            Chicago Thugs have had all the “tittle” they deserve and it’s time for somebody else to take the “throne.” (Hopefully somebody NOT from the Windy City.)

        • LastWord

          “Nobody does DENIAL like the DEMS!”
          –Got that right!
          (DEMS is short for DEMONS, you know.)

      • Hairstrike Alpha

        I have to confess to being in love with that avatar…seriously, an elephant with Trump’s hair? HAHA!

      • thepoliticalcat

        So THAT’S where I got the inspiration for an image of a pink ferret!

    • thenearesthippie

      You must be a Poe. Because only a complete idiot would post that first picture non-ironically.

      • Lizzietish81

        Never go full Poe

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      Well, racism and stupidity opened full bore…you’re quite the specimen. My question is, do you have to shave your head daily or weekly? How do you get it to shine like that?

    • Brewerofbeers

      Not sure if Poe, or inbred.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      What’s so disgusting? Judith slaying Holofernes is a Bible story, so it’s part of the Judaeo-Christian tradition that Trump and the Republican Party profess to support. Men kill women all the time (on average, 9 every week), and nobody seems to pay much attention. Besides, Hillary is killing him with VOTES, which is a perfectly respectable thing to do in America.

  • ljm4

    Typical BS from ignorant fluff for brains leftie. Her poor taste extends to T-shirt messages. How about a T-shirt with the 45 or so names of people the Clintons had dispatched. Or a picture of KiIIary watching the live feed from Benghazi… making sure no witnesses survived.
    Any woman voting for cankles KiIIary needs their head examined.

    • tehbaddr

      No need to worry the Illuminati will be coming for you soon.

  • maplebob23

    In the vernacular of the triggered Millennials; You guys are literally Nazi-Stalinists. Literally.

  • Brewerofbeers

    Decapitating all the conservative trolls with flagging

    • LouAnnWatson

      yes, wouldn’t want to disturb the circle jerk

      • Brewerofbeers

        Never interupt a good circle jerk!

  • WampusKat

    What? The Trumpster Dumpsters got tired of faking the Bern and trolling the Hillaries, so they’re hanging out at Wonkette now? LOL. You’re gonna be busy as a one-armed paper hanger, Dok. Shoe: other foot. Karma.

    • LouAnnWatson

      i have one where trump is pulling hillary’s uterus out through her vajajay…cool, right? can i put you down for ten and will you wear it at work?

  • Liam martin

    I already have the Bernie for the future and truck fump shirt. You guys are starting to cut into my drinking money here

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Got my shirt from Wonkette (they run VERY small) and my Woman Card from Hillary on the same day! It’s a sign!

  • thepoliticalcat

    How dare you exploit that poor Bebbeh Model, BeccaLou? Is she getting Union wage? Breaks? Time-and-a-half?

    • Jonny On Maui

      Scale wages and her own trailer supplied and staffed.

      • thepoliticalcat

        I kinda suspected she had bullied her Momster into something WAY above pay grade. I mean, how much of a skillset do you need to poop your pants anywho?

        • Nola Saint

          Ask Ted Nugent…

    • Msgr_Moment

      Breast and a half for overtime.

      • thepoliticalcat

        WELL. In THAT case. *adjusts camera* Carry on, bebeh!

    • Pierre_de_Fermat

      But we want the babby pics.

      • thepoliticalcat

        True. You horrible, child-exploiting sluts.

        • Pierre_de_Fermat

          But … but …. babby pics.

  • Wee Mousie

    Damn it! I said, “Bring me the head of Alfredo Garcia” — Not that useless load of tripe!

    • Rebecca Gardner

      Awesome movie reference, but then we are probably giving away that we’re old.
      :-)

      • thepoliticalcat

        Fark.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        1974. It was a very good year.

  • R. S.

    Your T-shirt of Donald Trump’s head being severed is very SICK and DISTURBING! I hope that the Secret Service and FBI investigate your business and shuts you down ASAP. You are advocating extreme violence and giving radical Islamic terrorist, supporters, and general population ideas to barbarically behead someone that doesn’t agree with them.

    • Jonny On Maui

      You have no idea how the SS or the FBI work, do you?

      And for cryin’ out loud please take your meds…

      • thepoliticalcat

        Dude. You’re assuming he even, you know, HAZ teh meds.

    • doktorzoom

      Damn, was this one ever late to the parade.

      Also, BYEE.

  • sford713

    Needs moar blood coming from his wherever.

  • Dawn Doran

    Be careful, Trump can sue you for this…

    • WampusKat

      No, he can’t.

  • NationalGalleryofClipArt

    Go, find your solipsist destiny, & vote for Massachusetts town councillor Jill Stein to be President of the global superpower, you silly twit. We all know you loath neoliberal Goldwater girl racist one percenter Hillary… Don’t go back on your purity, now. In your fantasia America, Bernie rides unicorns shirtless, & the unicorns poo homeopathic remedies. Make that dream reality.

  • archikvetch

    Seriously sadz you didn’t use Artemsia Gentileshi’s version because you know chicks rule. And this is so much more you know more. Dynamic. To the point.

    • thepoliticalcat

      Well, fuck me blind, as they say in the Old Country. Some of them, anywho. Jesus shit a brick if that gal isn’t totally into sawing thru his C2 thru C6.

      • Mr. Fusion

        Just fuck me until I need glasses. No need to go totally blind.

    • Dolmance

      That’s the only one I actually saw for real, in Rome. Wonkette should make the whole set. I think there would be like twelve of ’em. Buy ’em all!

      • Pierre_de_Fermat

        The story is that Gentileschi used the face of her rapist in that. ,

    • Em Howard

      And kinda hot

  • thepoliticalcat

    You sure did, BeccaLou, and lemme tellya, them puppies arrived & I’m in LERVE! Talk about Buying American-Made! More JudithWithTheHeadOfHolofernes type tees, goddammit!! I’ll get around to ordering the others once my beloved flunky figgers out how to do the BeccaLouSiteThang.

  • DutchS

    Holofernes was actually Babylonian, and did you know you can open another tab to Wikipedia for fact-checking as you write? Anyway, the Book of Judith is an apocryphal Old Testament book, part of the Catholic canon but not Protestant. Protestants call those books Apocrypha and Catholics call them Deuterocanonical. Except that not all the Apocryphal books are Deuterocanonical. Head hurt, yet?

    Anyway, next time someone claims to believe literally in the Bible, ask about Judith, Tobit, Maccabees, etc. And if they say those aren’t really in the Bible, ask on whose authority?

    And the Warren poster says “Shop foya victoyach.” Give the BS pseudo-Cyrillic a rest, why not?

  • Golgafrinchan_Ark_B

    “Oh Whoops We Just Forced You To Buy This Shirt Of Hillary Clinton Cutting Off Trump’s Head”

    Wear fire with fire?

  • SomeOtherDude

    Fail. You could never pick up Trump’s head by the “hair” of his heady head head.

  • britishvoiceman

    Does anyone else think that the person on that “Shop for Victory” shirt looks like Elizabeth Warren?

    • britishvoiceman

      Oops, I missed the “Professorski Elizabeth Warrenovna” tag – my bad!

    • Mr. Fusion

      I was thinking Debrusuka Wassermanous Shultzski. Forgive me, but I’m not very good translating Cyrillic to English.

      • James Frazier

        Here let me help you Debbie Was-a-Man Schultz

  • britishvoiceman

    I’d like to request that you don’t delete comments as readily – the responses are hysterical, but would be even funnier if I could read the original comments.

    • doktorzoom

      We collected most of them right here for your reading enjoyment.

  • Shan

    The Hillz one was a bit gory even for the really relaxed dress code where I work, so I got the Wonkette one:

    • Mr. Fusion

      Ya, nice belt.

      • Shan

        Thanks! I got it on eBay in a huge lot of “gently used” clothes I bought that was advertised as supposedly being in my size. That one actually fit, so YAY. I think I had to give the rest away to kids to use with their Barbie dolls.

    • LouAnnWatson

      yeah, you would have been knocked out walking in the door if you wore that where i work…planned parenthood your employer, or some similarly funded government back door entity?

      • Juan de Fuca

        You must work with some really nice people in rightwingnutastan?

      • Shan the Libtart

        No, my boss is a screaming libtard like me. Very refreshing! He allows me to taunt the conservaturds who work with us.

  • Dolmance

    If you photoshop this one, you could fit Elizabeth Warren in there too.

    I would spend whatever it took to collect the whole set!

    PS Doesn’t Judith look a whole lot like Chelsea in this painting?

  • Mr. Fusion

    Cut off his head? Circumcision predates this by centuries.

  • Officer Butterbean

    I am looking for the HOPE style Bill Clinton Tshirt with RAPE under his face! The other T is the KFC Hillary Special “Two fat thighs, Two small breasts and a Left Wing”

  • Conservative Mark

    Another progressive idiot liberal Jew trying to get votes for loser Hillary Clinton.

  • Johnbraavo

    Demon-rats aligning with jihadist, lol didn’t see that coming.

    • Brewerofbeers

      A renaissance painting of a Jewish woman is jihadist? Is that what your uncle-daddy taught you?

  • WampusKat

    Oh look… the “race realists” are leaving turds all over the comments section in defense of Herr Drumpf. Smells like Gamergate:
    http://www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/2015/08/24/weev-gamergate-is-the-biggest-siren-bringing-people-into-the-folds-of-white-nationalism/

    Yep, Gamergate Trumpsters. Who woulda thunk it:
    https://www.splcenter.org/hatewatch/2016/05/06/right-wing-extremists-hail-ascension-%E2%80%98emperor-trump%E2%80%99-gop-nominee

    When the Venn diagram looks like a solid circle :)

    We’re ALL Jews now, baby.

  • This article says quite a bit about Wonkette, perhaps unintentionally. I guess the Secret Service will just slough this off as acceptable political rhetoric in a U.S. Presidential Election year, right? Just for the record a couple of weeks ago there was a mock video circulating on the Internet which portrayed Senator Bernie Sanders pulling out a piece and blowing Hillary Clinton away during a debate on gun control. Since we are on the subject of homicide as a political statement did Wonkette or any of its writers take a position on this particular video? Or is all of this really satire; in good fun? And totally acceptable?

    • doktorzoom

      You know, I bet if you did a few seconds of Googling you could find out! I’d suggest the third link.

      Your concerns have been noted.

      • @doctorzoom: So I guess the Sanders/Clinton video is alright since it includes by implication the necessary “with votes” proviso? Look, maybe the Hillary beheading Trump T-shirt does violate Federal law against threats to U.S. Presidential candidates. maybe it doesn’t; truly I don’t know although as I indicated in my original comment if it doesn’t it comes pretty close. But consider this: what happens if some maniac goes after Trump with an edged weapon and REALLY DOES try to maim him? You really want this out there, however nuanced you believe it to be?

        • doktorzoom

          If we actually thought it was advocating violence against Donald Trump, we wouldn’t have made it in the first place. We have in fact condemned actual threats against Mr. Trump, and do not tolerate them in our comment section. The t-shirt is a parody of a work of Renaissance art and nothing more.

          I’d also note that since a rightwing website said the Secret Service would certainly shut down Wonkette over a month ago and urged its readers to report us, we have not heard from them. (If the Secret Service did express concern, we’d pull the item). My guess is that they recognize that this is not a threat.

          As to the possibility of a deranged person being inspired by this shirt: Rightwing blogs have been openly advocating the death of Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, and those are real encouragements of murder, freely available to deranged people. It is possible that similar messages come from leftish sites. This t-shirt is not advocating violence any more than Taxi Driver “instructed” John Hinkley to attempt to kill Ronald Reagan or the Catcher in the Rye “told” Mark Chapman to kill John Lennon.

          If it makes you feel any better, we absolutely do not wish any violence upon Mr. Trump. We hope he lives long enough to lose everything and die of natural causes as a very old, friendless, unloved, and universally despised man.

          • LouAnnWatson

            that’s so christian, i mean, atheist of you

      • gingerland62

        There doesn’t seem to be an epidemic of women beheading men, but I do remember a couple of shootings here and there.

        • Shan the Libtart

          There was that famous mattress fire.

          • gingerland62

            Farrah was awesome in that1!

  • gingerland62

    I am not kidding. I was named after biblical Judith and my sister, Jeanne d’Arc. (French version.) I wonder how I ever stumbled upon our Wonkette…

  • Ann Davidson

    Didn’t read far enough down the comments to see if anyone posted this, but Holofernes was a Babylonian general, not Roman. But thanks, Wonkette, for the fun column and T-shirt. I wish I could afford it, but I’m kind of broke at this point in time. Maybe later.

  • Ronald Reagan is Dead!

    I love all the conservatives getting their feelings hurt by the satire shirts, go to any conservative website or twitter account and you will find the most vile anti-Hillary memes.

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