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Hillz right now
Hillz right now

JUST IN, BREAKING BIG NEWS FROM THE ASSOCIATED PRESS, WHICH MAY OR MAY NOT BE OUR REAL DAD:

Hillary Clinton will be the first woman to top the presidential ticket of a major U.S. political party, having captured commitments from the number of delegates needed to become the Democratic Party’s presumptive nominee.

It was a victory that arrived Monday — nearly eight years to the day after she conceded her first White House campaign to Barack Obama and famously noted her inability to “shatter that highest, hardest glass ceiling.”

What how who why where? That is what you are asking. Well, what had happened, as the AP explains, is that after the primaries in Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands, Hillary needed just 24 more delegates to clinch the nomination. What has JUST happened is that enough uncommitted superdelegates, seeing the writing on the wall and perhaps ready to do Party Unity to each other’s mouths and bottoms, declared their support to nudge her over the top. Sounds like SOMEBODY (Hillary) called a bunch of people and threatened to Benghazi their moms if they don’t endorse her RIGHT NOW. Haha, we are saying a #silly, Hillz doesn’t make those calls by herself, Huma Abedin does that! Haha, we made a #silly again, because for real, that is not how this all works.

About the AP’s call here. There is an argument to be made that news organizations shouldn’t automatically include superdelegate counts, since they’re, by definition, not officially committed, and could change their minds like many did in 2008, when it was clear that Obama was overtaking Hillary (key word there is “overtaking”). And it’s true that if there is some unforeseen catastrophe, like Hillary is found guilty of murdering JFK with Ted Cruz’s dad before the convention, the supers could overturn the will of the people and decide to #FeelTheBern.

That’s why they exist, actually! For crisis moments, NOT for overturning the will of the people. Otherwise, when it is obvious who the winner will be, they just follow the will of the people. That’s why the AP’s call here is safe.

Beverly Hills surgeon explains at home fix for crepey skin around the arms, legs, and stomach.
Samantha Bee ‘splains this most excellently:

Voters go to the polls Tuesday in New Jersey, California, Montana, New Mexico, and South Dakota (and also there is an undemocratic caucus in North Dakota), and before all these Shillary the Billary Killary Hickory Dickory Dock superdelegates motioned their support, Hillz was set to enter the day with 289 more pledged delegates than Bernie, and a lead of more than 3,000,000 votes. That’s all still there.

Before now, Hillary only needed the results of the New Jersey Primary (polls close at 8 p.m. Eastern) to hit the magic number of 2,383. Polling there shows her ahead by over 20 points. Now New Jersey and California and the other states voting Tuesday will only add to that total.

We know that some people will yell #RIGGED, and we understand that these things suck, because one person has to win and one person has to lose. And could the AP have gotten it totally wrong? We guess so, but in this case, probably not. But still, GO VOTE TUESDAY ANYWAY.

Everybody’s voices need to be heard, and then we can get down to the business of beating Donald fucking Trump in November. Seriously, DONALD FUCKING TRUMP.

This guy:

trumpallies

We rest our case and welcome our new unelected empress queen of America, who just made history.

[AP]

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  • beavertank

    Perfidy!

    Well, she’s no B. Barry Bamz PBUH, but she’ll do since that stupid “constitution” thing means he has to go home. And it will be fun to watch her kicking Trump’s ass up and down the field for the next few months.

    • MarkM

      Yes. Yes it will…

      • beavertank

        Although honestly Trump is practically kicking his own ass up and down the field and all anyone would have to do is chase after him taking credit for it… but I’m sure she’ll get a few of her own in.

        • Nockular cavity

          I’m sure she’ll have to tell him “Please proceed” a couple of times.

          • wurman

            When your opponent is walking off the end of the dock . . . hand him/her/them an anvil!

    • Apple Scruff

      I think seeing him and Biden on the campaign trail this summer is going to be some epic fun — no one can throw shade like them. I hope they come within driving distance of me. Would like to witness the merriment in person!

      • beavertank

        With Biden back on the campaign trail we face another national underwear shortage… he never throws them back into the crowd.

        • edith prickly

          This is good news for the underpants gnomes.

      • RoyalUglyDude

        I hope joe hits the campaign trail in his bitchin’ corvette, but he will probably take the Amtrak.

      • edith prickly

        B Barry Bamz and OHJB unbound? Not sure I’ll survive that!

        • BJW

          *swoon*

  • JD Mulvey

    Congratulations Hillary, the next Prezdint of America!!

    To all the Bernie fans: Great job. Now plz give the lady a chance, k?

  • Apple Scruff

    Welp. Bernie is PISSED, released a statement saying as much.

    • cat cafe

      Something something rigged something something corrupt something something not going away, please go away Bernie.

  • Me not sure

    Whether you support Bernie or Hillary, vote you glorious bastards, vote!

    • Roadstergal

      And vote down the ticket. These are positions that are also quite important in our lives.

      • Me not sure

        AMEN, Roadstergal!
        BTW : I love a good roadster.

      • wurman

        From your keyboard to the Flying Spaghetti Monster and all of the “likely voters.”

    • JohnBull

      Today we are ALL glorious bastards.

      • Me not sure

        :.. and raging bitches..

  • RoyalUglyDude

    Now those of us in California have no motivation to vote tomorrow, and Loretta Sanchez’s dead cat will get the nomination for US Senate. Thanks, associated press.

    • bubbuhh

      Vote “NO!” on Prop Dead Cat.

      • cat cafe

        Wrong! Prop Dead Cat ONLY HELPS THE CORPORATIONS, wake up sheeple!

    • DemmeFatale

      You can’t be serious!
      There’s lots of stuff on there besides the primary!

  • Electric Ukulele Land

    This lobbying effort of Bernie’s to switch super delegates seems to have had the opposite effect…

    • Tegan A Beechey

      Funny how harassing people tends to turn them against you.

      • malsperanza

        Hey Bernie, try this one weird trick where you tell a lot of dedicated, hardworking, committed Democrats that their party is corrupt, they are corrupt, their efforts to develop a system that will produce excellent, qualified candidates (*coughblackpresidentcough*) is corrupt, and they are all mindless hacks who sold their souls to Wall Street for personal power.

        Then ask them to vote for you.

        • wurman

          Funny how Democrats behave like democrats. Did you win some primary votes Sec. Clinton?

    • beatbort

      Also think the attempt to get Barney Frank tossed from the convention committee did not help his cause. I still can’t get over that. Barney Frank not “pure” enough for Bernie Sanders.

      • wurman

        And Dannel Malloy along with former Rep. Frank who are both my kinds of people; i.e., Democrats.

      • beavertank

        Well, he is into butt stuff, and you know how the bible feels about that…

  • ShiftyParadigm

    I voted for Bernie, but I must admit this has me a little verklempt.

  • Squirrel_t_robot

    Now we shall see the depths of Trump the Idiot’s hatred for women.

    • Sardonicuss

      Now we see the violence inherent in the system…..of votes!

    • beavertank

      The instruments say there’s no bottom, sir. But that can’t be true… it MUST end somewhere…

      • wurman

        Didn’t the little old lady in the front row actually tell Stephen Hawking “It’s turtles all the way down, sonny.”

        • Lamashtar

          It was Carl Sagan!

    • JohnBull

      He can borrow Romney’s binders.

    • splashy79

      Not just Trump’s hatred, we will see it well up from the depths of our country, probably from the same people that welled up with racism.

  • Spurning Beer

    Congratulations, HRC. You’re a righteous Sheila.

  • As happy as I am to have my candidate win, I wish to all heck they would have waited a measly 24 hours for this. I mean, seriously, they couldn’t have let NJ’s pledged delegates take her over the line? It’s like the AP wanted a Sanders camp meltdown or something.

    Boo to AP for jumping the gun. But yay for more broken glass ceilings!

    • JD Mulvey

      Yaaaaaaay, JERSEY!

    • feministing

      nah i have my fingers in my ears la la la waiting for TOMORROW. try it, you can do it too!

  • UnfrozenCavemanGamer

    No, sorry. Trump is an idiot, but he’s an idiot who can only convince bigger idiots. Hillary is corrupt to the core and one of the most powerful political forces (along with her husband) to ever set foot in the Capitol. Unlike Trump, she WILL be able to convince people who value their political careers to do what she wants. As Alexander the Great said “I am not afraid of an army of lions led by a sheep; I am afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion.” That is exactly what Hillary will be with the power she craves. Trump will be a joke. Hillary will be tyrant. I’ll take the joke unfortunately.

    • Tegan A Beechey

      You’re so right, Clinton is way scarier than a guy who literally proposes war crimes in lieu of foreign policy.

      • malsperanza

        I know I am personally very reassured by Turnip’s plan to default on the national debt. Whereas Tyrant Hillary will probably destroy the economy by expanding Social Security or something.

        • SheketBevakaShutTheHellUp

          THAT CUNT.

          • beavertank

            * vagina-American

          • SheketBevakaShutTheHellUp

            Vaginas are un-American. There should be a wall around them.

          • beavertank

            Deport all vaginas! To space!

          • BJW

            I don’t need mine anymore, sure!

      • Marceline

        And who doesn’t want someone who claims that wants to have a judge removed for his race to have the power to name not only SCOTUS justices but also federal judgeships that would affect people’s lives for decades? We certainly all deserve that for committing the sin of not voting for Bernie.

    • Apple Scruff

    • Spurning Beer

      Not just a joke. A racist rape joke.

    • Hemp Dogbane

      Since it’s happy hour, I’ll have what this guy’s having.

      • Tegan A Beechey

        Paranoid delusions?

        • cousin itt

          With a chaser of bitters.

          • 451 Byrnes

            Is the wine made from sour grapes?

          • Tegan A Beechey

            Fitting, since Sanders’ relationship with the DNC is on the rocks…

        • beavertank

          Does that come with a beer back, or is that extra?

        • IdRatherBeDancing

          Paranoid delusions, neat barkeep!

    • feministing

      Ms. Sarandon, is that you again?

      • Apple Scruff

        I wonder if she and Tim are reuniting for one night of angry #BernieorBust sex.

        • malsperanza

          In a three-way with Donald Turnip, apparently.

          OK now I have to go barf.

    • 451 Byrnes

      You make it sound like she could actually lead the country…As President.

    • eggsacklywright

      Unfrozen is a king mixer, just like Paul’s grandfather.

      • Tegan A Beechey

        I prefer my drinks frozen, myself, so the title was a turnoff.

      • Apple Scruff

        And he’s being taller than us just to spite us.

      • Sardonicuss

        But is he very clean.?

        • Apple Scruff

          Sir, can we have our ball back?

      • Diplogeek

        I ride this election regularly! Twice a week!

        • FlownOver

          I now declare this election OPEN!

      • FlownOver

        Sorry we hurt your campaign, Mister.

    • beavertank

      You DO realize the president has fairly significant unilateral powers, especially when it comes to foreign affairs, right?

      The danger of Trump, aside from the current supreme court vacancy and the likely one or two vacancies during even a single term, is what he can do on his own not what he can con others into doing.

      …but sure, just keep telling yourself Clinton is somehow worse. Because that’s not stupid or anything.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Case in point of a disastrous appointment by a one-termer: Clarence Thomas.

        Who would Trump appoint? A mouthpiece for the Gambino family?

        • malsperanza

          I mean, you’re assuming that our noble Unfrozen Caveman has any clue that the Supreme Court exists, or matters, or might achieve the things he wants, if Hillary gets to make the appointments. That is a YOOOGE assumption.

      • McHitler

        Clinton can convince people to work with her, and Trump can’t. No one, for fear of unfavorable views, will work with Trump. Hillary, though, is someone who can work with our current politicians. That’s how she’s worse.

        • beavertank

          Yes, that IS the position I was just mocking. Thanks for repeating it for us.

          • King of America

            you couldn’t make this up.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            She is the tyrant who will cooperate with others.

            WHY DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS?

        • malsperanza

          You mean she will be a TYRANT by working with Congress to pass legislation? You’re right: that’s the death knell of democracy for sure.

          ETA: I had to upfist you. That is the most precious fucking piece of dingbattery I have seen in a week. And this was a week that had Donald Trump in it. GOLD STARS TO YOU!

          • Donkey Option

            Considering how fiercely the GOP has fought against everything Obama has tried to do, I’m not sure how Hillary is all of a sudden going to be able to go all super-tyrant. Even in the Dems pull in the House and Senate, it would be close, and the Repubs would fight her as strongly as Obama. Unless the complaint is that she’ll have good policies that people can unite behind, but that seems to be a good thing?

        • IdRatherBeDancing

          Yes most tyrants do compromise. I was just thinking how cooperative a tyrant Pol Pot was. Jesus Christ on a pogo stick. You have incoherence in common with Mr. Trump.

    • King of America

      Where “corrupt” means you don’t like her.

      • JD Mulvey

        And “tyranny” means “I dislike her plan for healthcare reform and wish single-payer was on the table.”

        • cat cafe

          Or, “I’m choosing to willfully ignore the fact that she presented Universal Health Care 30 years ago, and Bernie voted against it, thus siding with the Republicans, all these years we could have had decent health care, and when Obama finally used all his political capital and managed to get the ACA through and keep it alive despite a vicious, hostile congress that has voted to repeal it literally 50 times, it’s hypocritical and ridiculous of Bernie to assert he could somehow magically make Single Payer happen, so Hillary is corrupt.”

          • malsperanza

            The plan she presented 30 years ago was not single-payer so it is PROOF that she is a shill for the insurance industry, which led the charge in the effort to kill the plan she presented 30 years ago.

            Q E FUCKING D!!!!

          • arealbaby

            Succinct and powerful. Thank you.

      • NotALiar

        Don’t you get it??? A woman shouldn’t have that much power. She’s obviously a secret Republican who only voted with Bernie 92% of the time.

      • McHitler

        How does none of her corruption show? The fact that she signed weapons deals with Saudi Arabia that then sold those arms to ISIS, and that she was aware? That’s certainly corrupt.

        • beavertank

          So… got anything to back up those wild allegations other than your say-so?

        • King of America

          OK thanks for letting me know what the Koch brothers want you to think happened. It’s not remotely true, of course.

        • IdRatherBeDancing

          Ohhhh the butthurt. Your tears oh so sour.

        • Lamashtar

          Hillary didn’t do those things. Blame the USA for selling weapons to Saudi Arabia, but you’re lying through your teeth when you claim it was Hillary. However, the USA never sold weapons to ISIS. We gave weapons to Iraqis, who promptly sold them to ISIS. Because a lot of Iraqis aren’t very patriotic to their country. Again, nothing to do with Hillary. No rational person would even think so. This can only be trolling.

    • neminem

      I admit, I am a little conflicted – Bernie represents everything good in the world, and Hillary represents everything that is corrupt in politics. Nonetheless, while I plan on casting my sadly-probably-meaningless-at-this-point California primary ballot for Bernie, as a vote for actual change to the left (but like, the good left, the left that wants the world to be a better place, not the crazy ultra-left that wants to ruin everything), I will admit, as someone teetering-on-the-edge-of-upper-middle-classdom, that I’ll kinda be happy if Hillary does win – I’ll have done everything I reasonably could (I even donated to a campaign for the first time ever!), so it won’t be my fault, but Hillary *would* be a more stable choice for the economy. There’s a reason wall street loves her, after all. A crap choice for people younger than me or with less money, but a decent choice for me, personally, if I were just looking out for myself.

      Yeah, Hillary will be a tyrant, but at least she’ll do *some* good. Trump will be a bumbling idiot *and* a tyrant. Actually, I take that back, Hillary will be a bumbling idiot and a tyrant, too, but at least what she wants is mostly not totally batshit crazy.

      • cousin itt

        Show me on this doll, where Hillary EVER corrupted you or the United States.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          Ask Vince…

        • McHitler

          Selling arms to Saudi Arabia. Invading Libya on the false pretense of humanitarian aid. Not reporting hacking attempts on her personal email server (which had government data) to the government. The list just keeps on going.

          • beavertank

            Do you… do you know what “corruption” means…?

          • jviscont1

            You know who else sold arms to Saudi Arabia.

          • malsperanza

            O hi, you again, adorable little Hitler clown! Welcome back. Please tell us more about how the Secretary of State invaded Libya.

          • PubOption

            I thought that she was supposed a force there, but failed to do so; and that Issa and Gowdy have been looking into it for years.

          • malsperanza

            It will all come out when the Sanders presidency appoints a committee to investigate Benghazi.

          • cousin itt

            The list just keeps on going.

            Nowhere.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            She sold those arms? She invaded Libya? This woman is amazing- usurping all the power from not only President Obama, but the leaders of all those other sovereign nations. It must be witchcraft!

          • Awesome Man

            I’ll have my Nothing Burger with cheese, Mr. McHitler.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Why do you idjits think she will be a tyrant? Based upon what, besides your dislike of her?

        • JD Mulvey

          I think this is just what you say when you’re still hoping to get laid at the Bernie rally.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            [quickly takes notes, memorizes lines]

            Where is the next rally? Asking for a friend…

          • FeloniousMonk

            It didn’t work when we were young, ain’t going to work now. Oh, that was just me? Never mind.

        • malsperanza

          Hint: she’s a GIRL. They have an agenda to crush and humiliate all men.

        • Mommy issues.

        • beavertank

          The same reasons people thought Obama would be a tyrant, except genital-based not melanin-based.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            BINGO

          • McHitler

            Hillary actually has a terrible history with international affairs in relation to war.

          • beavertank

            Oh yes, all those times she tyrannically unilaterally declared war and installed pro-Hillary dictators. I remember all those times that didn’t happen.

          • IdRatherBeDancing

            She also personally humiliated those poor moose limbs at Abu Graib — she’s evil I tell you!!!!

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            She turned me into a newt!

          • cousin itt

            Non-responsive comment. Trumpian, in fact.

        • McHitler

          She has a history of instigating international conflict under the false pretense of humanitarian aid.

      • UnfrozenCavemanGamer

        Lol I love this site man. So you can’t vote against someone currently linked to over 20 political, criminal and ethical violations without being sexist or racist. Bless your little hearts. Next you’re going to tell every single thing she’s ever been linked to was created by the GOP and they’ve managed to convince Democrats, fbi agents, police, women, family of victims, businesses and press to be involved in this 20 year elaborate scheme to stop Hillary from becoming president. Love you guys. I’m cancelling my cable subscription. You’re all the entertainment I need.

        • cousin itt

          Just don’t forget to tip the veal.

        • King of America

          Over 20 imaginary violations? Oh no!

          • UnfrozenCavemanGamer

            Point proven haha. I hope your second episode is as good as your first. I hate when the only hilarious stuff is in the pilot.

          • malsperanza

            Pace yourself. You’re going to need some of that biting wit and incisive, well-reasoned criticism to get you through the next 8 years.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            don’t laugh at your own jokes, it makes you look even dumber than your comments do…

          • King of America

            OK sure

        • JMP

          You can’t vote for the man linked to over 20 ethical violations, so then instead vote for the woman who has a clean and ethical record.

        • Pierre_de_Fermat

          Well, you might be happier back on Breitbart. Or not. Just sayin’.
          But let’s get to the highlights:
          “currently linked to over 20 political, criminal and ethical violations”
          “political”? “criminal?” “ethical?” Oh, wait, you’re talking about the assassinations she does. That’s really just a hobby.

        • doktorzoom

          Sadly, this site does not love you. Say hi to the Banhammer of Loving Correction (© and ™ John Scalzi).

          Byeee.

      • MarkM

        “Bernie represents everything good in the world”
        That is, quite simply, one of the most colossally naïve things I have ever seen posted anywhere. Bernie is just a goddamn politician. He doesn’t walk on water, his shit stinks and he is not above taking a less than principled position on an issue if he feels it is to his electoral advantage, as his 2nd Amendment voting record shows. You need to grow up a little bit.

        • neminem

          Ok, fine, that was clearly exaggeration for effect. Sanders isn’t Jesus, and presumably isn’t perfect. I do, however, feel that, in addition to the fact that I support more of his positions than I do in an average presidential race, the main difference is that Bernie was motivated to run for presiden 100% by a desire to effect positive change, where the vast majority of politicians run for president because, well, they want to be the guy on top calling things for its own sake, and that is highly refreshing.

          Ironically, the Bernie that you describe me thinking exist, is more of a worry than a positive: I would certainly *hope* he would be willing to compromise if necessary. That would actually be my biggest worry were he to become president, that he would be insufficiently able to accept the imperfection of his power, that he couldn’t fix everything at once, and thus get *less* done than he could because of it.

          And *that* said, while I do support some needed gun reform, I’m no more a crazy anti-gun-nut than the opposite (though the NRA would probably disagree, but that’s because they’re crazy). I looked up Bernie’s positions on the 2nd amendment that you refer to, and… I agree with most of them. So I’m not sure what your point is there. :p

          • Aquaria

            Assuming that jaysus is perfect or even a symbol of it is a further sign that you are a complete moron.

      • Jonny On Maui

        You really have no clue what a tyrant is.

    • malsperanza

      But, I thought you guys really liked fierce strong macho leaders who would kick the ass of the Chinese and armwrestle Putin, and personally punch all the Muslims in the nose.

      I mean, I know it’s a little unexpected that Macho World Kickass Leader American Exceptionalist Powerball Mighty Whitey is a girl. But after all, she’s old and ugly, so there’s that.

      • McHitler

        Who said we like any of that? Keep your words out of his mouth.

        • beavertank

          Yeah! That’s where dicks go. They won’t BOTH fit.

        • malsperanza

          I am profoundly chastened. Tell me again what you want me to do, and of course I’ll do it! Right away, sir!

          … oh, sorry, you thought that was me? No, no. I was channeling the Senate when President Bernie demands that they write him a law providing single-payer health care and dismantling the banking system.

          • McHitler

            Yeah, because it’s impossible to work representatives into supporting bills they would normally refuse.

            Christ, don’t be dense. Representatives often have their careers threatened by powerful party influences (like the president) to force them into certain bills. All you have to do is fund said candidates rival (which happens a lot) and they’ll crack.

          • malsperanza

            “Normally refuse”? Legislation–ALL legislation–is made by a Senate committee and a House committee, and then by a conference committee. Have you ever worked on a project with a committee? There is horse trading, there is compromise, and there is undue influence from lobbies. This does not mean, however, that legislation is bad. In words of one syllable: Pure. Ism. Has. No. Place. in. Governance.

            But if you think the president can “force” the Senate into doing his bidding … well, gee, no wonder you actually believe Bernie Sanders’s ridiculous promises about what he will accomplish as president! This explains how he has gotten away with that drivel for months now.

            Maybe you need to spend a bit of time in Washington, I dunno, interning on the Hill or something? Working on a bill? Your description of members of Congress “cracking” under pressure and caving to threats is pure fucking Hollywood. What I suppose you are trying to describe is that legislation is never as good as we’d like it, because with the historically unique exception of the year 1964, and the rather less mirabilis annus of 1980, it is very fucking rare for one party to hold the WH and both houses of Congress with a solid majority. And that means that the government has to pay attention to the wishes and preferences of other chunks of the electorate–even the people whose views you hate and despise.

            It seems to make Sanders adherents feel good to call compromise corruption, and to accuse legislators as traitors. That sort of rhetoric sounds great, but it is a disaster in the real world of legislation. It aids the forces of Darkness. It is, ultimately, profoundly selfish.

          • Aquaria

            Heck. just watching Schoolhouse Rock’s “I’m Just a Bill” would make the twit’s IQ be a little less below zero.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFroMQlKiag

          • Lamashtar

            If it was that easy, we wouldn’t need to win. We’d just threaten. Obama would have whatever he wanted. What you suggest is fantasy.

      • JMP

        Though Trump likes to badmouth China now, he did admire when their government showed strength in massacring all those protesters in Tienanmen Square

    • NotALiar

      “Corrupt to the core.” Please give a few examples that aren’t drenched in wingnut.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      Lighten up Francis for Christ sake.

    • wurman

      There is no evidence, whatsoever, that Alexander the Great ever said any such a thing. Like Der Trumpenfuehrer, himself, this is a simple-minded inversion of reality. [ http://www.pothos.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=3227 ] “This sentence needs reversing in all parts. The Persian army, an army of lions? Dont think so. More like lambs, led by a sheep. Without wanting to diminish some of the Persian army warriors, there isnt any other word in that sentence that can be used instead. And of course the Macedonians werent an army of sheep. More like an army of lions, led by a lion.

      And of course, there were Persians that were like lions, but they were few. Most of them didn’t want to fight anyway, they were also conquered and couldn’t care less about the Persian Empire. And that was obvious once Darius fled.”

      Writing about Alexander in the same posting as Der Trumpenfuehrer is krazee. Der Trumpenfuehrer is a psychotic wuss leading an army of idiots.

    • Awesome Man

      Anyone who has listened to both of their sets of proposed policies and comes away thinking Hillary would be the tyrant…man, I just don’t know what to tell you, other than you’re so wrong it is physically painful for me to read.

      • Donkey Option

        But in their mind and according to the websites they read, if you take what she says and translate it through conspiracy-speak, it all translates to “I will rule this country with an iron fist while I take over the rest of the world with emails and servers and BENGHAZI!!11!!eleventy!!1111!!!!

    • Jonny On Maui

      Well, you are what you take…

  • malsperanza

    Your move, California.

  • cousin itt

    Will Hillary have FEMA Camps like Obummer or will they look more like this?

    • Sardonicuss

      There will be much punishment.

      • tomamitai

        I could use a comfy chair.

      • MarkM

        I’m there for the oral sex…

    • Markuserektus

      I’m in for the inquisition…

  • beatbort

    I really don’t think she will have to beat Trump. He has beaten himself. This latest revelation about the Florida AG is the tipping point for the GOP. I’m not willing to bet the mortgage on it (but I would, if I had a mortgage), but I don’t even think Trump will be the GOP nominee. Some Mexican or Syrian or Albanian judge is going to put him in jail.

    • beavertank

      I’d bet there are a few GOP party members desperately poring over the convention rules for any way to deny him the nomination without just suspending the rules and passing a resolution that says “Truck Fump”.

      • JD Mulvey

        But wasn’t there the semi-overt threat from Trump that there’d be hoards of violent Trumpies descending on Cleveland to break up all that shit if the party didn’t nominate him? Is that still in play? (Hope so!)

        • beavertank

          Anywhere there’s a Trump supporter there’s a standing threat of violence… so probably.

        • malsperanza

          Everything is still in play until he a) changes his mind, or b) forgets he said it.

          • tomamitai

            Who said what?

        • tomamitai

          But Dilbert says that Hillary is the one provoking violence! That’s why he endorsed her, so she won’t get Dee Dee Myers to Foster him!

          • Pierre_de_Fermat

            I thought Hillary would do it herself … just to keep in practice.

          • IdRatherBeDancing

            OMG — I have not thought of Dee Dee Myers in decades — thanks for the stroll down memory lane.

    • Tegan A Beechey

      I really could have lived without the mental images that I got when I read “he has beaten himself”. Thanks, perverted brain. Thanks.

      • cousin itt

        With votes? Does that help?

        • Tegan A Beechey

          Pretty sure that any time someone says his name he gets off, so I don’t think the votes matter either way, but…

          • JD Mulvey

            Trump may be the one who finally disproves the theory that there’s no such thing as bad publicity.

      • Markuserektus

        Nice time tho

      • AlasAnAss

        Now you did it to the rest of us. How is that fair?! Damn it, Beechey.

    • Pierre_de_Fermat

      I am somewhat of the opinion that Bernie wanted to make a statement, maybe Trump too. And that neither expected the response they got. Now Trump and the GOP are stuck with each other unless the Republicans can find a way out (and they might, but it would have to be “Trump’s idea” or there would be hell to pay in Cleveland — I think Josh Marshall mentioned that, and with the assorted weird people associated with Trump, he may not be able to stop them either).
      The speech Hillary gave last week was the start of the real war. And maybe when DT realized what it would be.

  • cousin itt

    Does Hillary have a birth certificate of live birth?

    Just asking for the drooling mob.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Does she have a long birth certificate of a long live birth? If not, GTFO.

    • beavertank

      Do we have two independent doctor’s reports of the existence of her vagina? She might have been born a man, which isn’t itself a disqualifier, but it would mean she was probably involved in the Michelle Obama plot to kill Joan Rivers for knowing too much about their junks.

      • limberrat

        How do we know she wasn’t born in Canada?

    • Lamashtar

      I’m not sure I want to see my President’s vagina.

  • 451 Byrnes

    Yay!

  • Hemp Dogbane

    This is only because people didn’t give Al Franken enough shit.

    • cat cafe

      I know! There he was, making posts on Facebook every day, and just NOT ENOUGH people were posting about Bernie and how the 100K people who voted for him in Minnesota, the 2% of the electorate there, were in fact “the will of the people” and JUST WERE NOT BEING RESPECTED and superdelegates are supposed to DO WHAT THEY ARE TOLD.

  • Apple Scruff

    Is it still okay if I make myself a nice cocktail to watch the returns tomorrow even though it really means nothing? I went to three places just get the mint to make mojitos!

    • beavertank

      If that’s not ok the world can take my cocktail when they pry it out of my cold dead fingers.

    • malsperanza

      For once the CA primary does have meaning. If either Sanders or Clinton resoundingly defeats the other by a wide margin, that will affect the final calculus.

      For better or worse, though, they are likely to split the delegates more or less evenly.

      • RobKanC

        ummmm. How will that affect anything at this point?

        • beavertank

          A resounding California loss will change the Bernie or Bust whine to “perfidy!” rather than “see? we should get the nomination!” I suppose.

          • RobKanC

            Or more whining about the corporate paid media and the rigged primaries.

          • jviscont1

            You might want to take up your thoughts with Donna Rose here, the real corporate Wonked CEO.

          • Apple Scruff

            Is anyone keeping track of the number of times he cried “rigged” or complained/ threatened lawsuits about the voting practices during the primaries? I heard they were complaining about Puerto Rico.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            They did- There were lines at polling places because a good many polling stations got shut down. This was due to the Sanders team not having sufficient personnel to monitor them all and the decision was made a month ago- but it was nonetheless some nefarious plot

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            That’s already started on my FB feed. “They” made this announcement to discourage Sanders voters tomorrow because “they” are in the tank for Clinton.

          • Apple Scruff

            Do they realize that Clinton’s voters could stay home too?

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            you mean the same way it could have been Clinton voters disenfranchised all these times previously? Inpossible!!!!

          • JD Mulvey

            And there are MORE of them, so even more supression, right?

          • beavertank

            Damn “them”!

          • malsperanza

            Right. Because never in the history of mass media have the news organizations tried to get the jump on each other.

          • Apple Scruff

            Something tells me they would find something else to bitch about if he loses Cali.

          • feministing

            of course they will. then it will be all about DC because who better to anoint bernie, i mean, choose the nom, than party insider establishment elites?!

          • malsperanza

            They can bitch til the cows come home. And they can flounce off and vote for Jill Stein to their idiot hearts’ content. But I want Clinton to be free of this crapola so she can start running the campaign. And I want the Democratic Party to put all its energy into the Senate races. Like, now.

          • berkeleyfarm

            If they’d actually organized as well as they bitched, we might be having a different conversation right about now.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            but slacktivism, FB likes and retweets are so much easier!

          • berkeleyfarm

            Patting their heads and calling them names while you tell them how wrong they are and how right you are. So effective!

          • malsperanza

            Do tell us: what would be an effective way to talk to BernieorBust voters? Sign language? Finger puppets? One of those big cartoon hammers?

            Because I think being effective with that crew stopped being a priority about six weeks ago.

          • berkeleyfarm

            I seem to not have been clear in that I was snarking the naggy tendencies of a lot of BoB’ers I know. Definitely #NotAllBernieSupporters, of course.

            “Bless your heart” is about my speed. I have to say that I hope they get over it and will vote Dem in the fall.

        • malsperanza

          Hillary won NY 63:37. If she does the same in CA, it will be very hard for the BernieBots to claim that he is the really truly popular one. He will go to the Convention and try to make a stink, but the Dems will tell him to sit down and behave. After the NY and related primaries that week, the Sanders campaign lost most of its real momentum–laid off a lot of staff, and has been running on fumes since. That was the point when Sanders stopped battling the GOP and started whining about Debbie Wasserman Schultz, as if getting rid of her were more important than getting rid of Antonin Scalia.

          Conversely, if Sanders sweeps CA, with its huge Latino vote and its 38 million pop, he will have grounds to go to the Convention and make a huge stink.

          • RobKanC

            Yeah, I don’t think that is going to happen irrespective of how CA votes. Clinton would have won at least 2 more states tomorrow and more votes and pledged delegates. He is not going to the stink up the convention. After this week we would have Obama and Biden endorsing Clinton and the party apparatus begin to gather round Clinton. He will find himself down on allies before the convention.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            It sounds like they are both itching to campaign for her and lay into Drumpf. it’s obviously personal to both of them

          • malsperanza

            He has absolutely promised to stink up the convention. I would like to see California kick his ass tomorrow, because it might make him reconsider that brilliant idea.

            In fact, if past states are anything to go by, the Latino vote is going to come out strong for Clinton. Sanders will carry SF and the northern counties. God knows what LA will come up with. The Central Valley will probably write in Ronald Reagan.

          • RobKanC

            She has a solid 12 point lead in early voting. I don’t see Bernie winning with such a huge margin that he has to go to convention.

          • malsperanza

            Even if Clinton splits the vote 50/50 she will end the night tomorrow with a solid lead in the popular vote and enough delegates to earn the nomination. Sanders would literally have to win 100% of the vote in NJ and CA to remain credible.

            But he has said – many times now – that he will go to the Convention and he will create a floor fight if he can. While I would like to hear him make a gracious and thoughtful concession speech tomorrow night, I have stopped expecting him to put the good of the nation ahead of his personal goals. Which yes, did once include pushing Clinton to the left, but now seem to be more about damaging the Democratic Party, an institution he dislikes, regardless of the harm it may do.

            In recognizing that he won’t be the nominee, he seems to have abandoned the fight against the GOP in favor of a battle he thinks he can win: to take down the structure of Democratic politics and weaken the two-party system. He is, as he has always said, a good Socialist, not a democrat.

    • feministing

      oh it totally counts. symbolism people, symbolism!!

      • Apple Scruff

        Symbolism or MOMENTUM!!!???

  • RobKanC

    Paid corporate Shillary media obviously. Does anybody even believe this trash.

    • Tegan A Beechey

      Poe? Is that you?

      • RobKanC

        Depends on who is asking

        • Tegan A Beechey

          Just wasn’t sure if you were being sarcastic. Do love me some Poes, satire is a true artform.

          • JMP

            Unfortunately it can be hard to tell the sarcasm from the real thing, especially while there’s actual trolls showing up to say the exact same thing seriously.

  • cousin itt

    What the fuck is Donald tweeting now, I wonder?

    No, wait!

  • ClarkJoe

    Spoiler alert!!!

  • Tegan A Beechey

    I’d say this sort of announcement would lead to claims of corruption by Sanders supporters… but honestly, it seems like everything is a sign of corruption to them. The sun shining. Water being wet. The need to breathe air. All part of the Clinton conspiracy.

    • feministing

      if anything i see it as a move by someone on their side to keep hillary voters home tomorrow so hah! rigged!!!! voter suppression by sanders!!!!!

      how they like that?

    • RobKanC

      but he got 45% of the votes and he started with 0%.. Now You tell me how that is not a win.. Nobody can explain it I bet.

      • feministing

        it’s really 135% of the vote. 45% times the 3 elections his voters abstained from voting in for purity reasons, obvs. they need their votes counted 3 times to make up for lost votes. also, votes. so yes, are you a sheeple who doesn’t know 135% is MORE than a win? It’s a coronation!!

        • JMP

          Plus the Democratic party wouldn’t count the votes of non-Democrats for the Democratic nominee in every state! How can you get more corrupt than excluding Republicans from picking which Democrat will run for President? Hell, the party wouldn’t even let my cat vote in the primary!

          • Donkey Option

            My cat is a very well-informed voter, though he’s technically not old enough.

          • JMP

            My cat definitely seems to dislike Donald Trump, she leaves the living room when his shouty voice comes on the TV. And she’s over 18 months!

          • Donkey Option

            Oh, do they go by months? My cat is 12 years! He’s definitely old enough!

          • Aquaria

            Mine’s old enough. She’s at least 19 now.

          • Rachel Book Harlot

            That’s because cats are planning to take over the world.

          • doktorzoom

            The only thing keeping us safe is their lack of thumbs and attention spans.

            (suddenly jumps up and runs into other room)

          • feministing

            we all know you really brought your cat and tried, too

        • It’s 275%. You forgot to multiply by birds.

          • arealbaby

            brb, dead of this.

            (birds. omg.)

          • malsperanza

            The finches are in the bag for Bernie. Unfortunately they did not register by the deadline. The Audubon Society is the most corrupt entity since Teapot Dome.

    • beavertank

      If anyone says anything other than “$HILLARY VINCE FOSTERED THE ELECTION WITH PERFIDY! BERNIE IS THE REAL NOMINEE, SUPERDELEGATES DON’T COUNT UNTIL THEY VOTE FOR BERNIE!” you’ll get claims of corruption by a certain segment of Sanders supporters.

    • McHitler

      Well when you’re supporting a candidate as corrupt as Hillary tends to be, then yeah, you see corruption when you look at her. It’s more of a side effect of hers, really.

      But all that aside, let’s be real here. Establishment politicians aid establishment media and vice versa. If the establishment candidate has clinched the nomination with superdelegates, you bet your ass the media companies that will be protected by said candidate from higher taxes will include superdelegates in their assessment.

      • Tegan A Beechey

        So you seem fun.

      • feministing

        siiiiiiiiiigh. looooooooooool.

        • edith prickly

          Oooh! is this an authentic Bernie broflake, like I keep hearing about? I always miss them!

          • Donkey Option

            Yeah, we get at least one on each of these posts. Rarely the same one twice. I think they may work in shifts.

          • JMP

            This one has apparently been around before looking at its’ history, though I think I must have missed it before.

          • doktorzoom

            Guys, not cool calling other Wonkers trolls, sockpuppets, it, suggesting that only a paid troll could possibly disagree with you, etc. (Don’t worry, i’ll be yelling at Berners, too)

          • doktorzoom

            Your long-suffering Comments Moderator asks you to be gracious in victory.

          • JD Mulvey

            Tell us more about how you’ve suffered for us, Doc Jesus.

          • edith prickly

            I am a mere disinterested observer from Soviet Canuckistan with no dog in this particular fight. I’m just excited to finally see a Berniebro in the wild, so to speak.

          • DemmeFatale

            But Daaaaaaad!

            OK, we won’t feed the bros.

          • BJW

            Over at WaPo, the Hillary supporters are drinking the tears of the Bernie or Bust crowd, while the B or B gang is trying to make addition not work, or something else. Because Bernie?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        But they’d certainly sit on the amazing story had Bernie been the one to clinch tonight- because reasons…

        /EYEROLL

        • McHitler

          Of course not; news is news so long as eyes catch it. This is not comparable, however, as the altering of data based on superdelegate allocation is vastly different from a news story about a clutch victory.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            WTF are you even claiming? That “they” are hiding the existence of supers? That “they” have altered some data somewhere? All the news did was some basic fucking addition and pointed out that this weekend’s primaries pushed one of the candidates over the top.

          • Vegan and Tiara

            Sure, that’s what they want you to believe! Wake up sheeple!

          • McHitler

            No; they’re not hiding the existence of superdelegates; they’re counting superdelegates in the final delegate count to clinch the nomination. That’s less of an alteration – admittedly poor wording on my part – and more of simply lying. Superdelegates don’t clinch a nomination until the final vote because they can shift at any time.

          • Tiria

            Supers have been free to switch allegiance this entire time. Not a single one of Hillary’s has switched to Bernie. Now that it is impossible for her not to win a majority of pledged delegates (by a decent margin, even), they have even less reason to switch.
            And that’s all aside from the fact that party leaders aren’t going to back a long-time loyal team player over a carpetbagger who’s been a pain in the party’s ass his entire career.

        • berkeleyfarm

          Already saw the “YOU CAN’T COUNT SUPERS TILL JULY!!1!” on the Book of Face. Surprisingly enough it was in a comment on a conservative friend’s posting of the “AP called it”.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            You can’t count ANY votes until then.

      • RobKanC

        But wasn’t the other guy supposed to be using the same Establishment to overturn the will of the voters or was it a totally different thing.

        • JMP

          That’s different. Sanders wants the super-delegates to go to the man who is owed the nomination even though he got less votes because reasons that have absolutely nothing to with sexism, not at all.

        • McHitler

          Both people are using them, and while I don’t agree with Bernie using them, he’s only playing the game Clinton’s ilk set up. Boo hoo if it’s used against ’em

          • RobKanC

            Well, here in real world its Game Over! I am not sure what kind of stuff goes on in Sanders world but no, he is not using the game against Hillary because the super delegates have already pledged for Clinton.

          • McHitler

            I don’t think you get how superdelegates work, friend. *Pulls out microphone* THEY DON’T PLEDGE PERMANENTLY!!!

          • RobKanC

            Yeah, In 2024 they will pledge for someone else. Unless, you are one of those people who believe Clinton will be president for life. For them I say, 22nd amendment. But this race is over and its definitely a fantasy if you think somehow the super delegates would turn around and give Sanders nomination. But as I said I dont know whats going on in Sandersland and I dont judge people.. so whatever makes you guys happy, I guess. Meanwhile here in real world, We are much more closer to our first female President so we are gonna celebrate that and work to make it a reality.

          • Tegan A Beechey

            They do, however, tend to vote for the person with the majority of the pledged delegates from primaries around the country, soooo…

          • JMP

            Step 1: Bernie and the dead-ender portion of his supporters whine.
            Step 2: ????
            Step 3: The super-delegates who are supporting Clinton all change their minds to support the guy who lost the primaries instead.

            Now, do you see where the problem with this plan is?

          • Vegan and Tiara

            You left out Step 4: PROFIT!

          • McHitler

            1: Clinton gets convicted for not reporting hacking attempts on her private server when government information was in danger of being stolen.

            2: Sanders goes “flock to me, superdelegates!”

            3: profit.

            Looks good to me.

          • JMP

            Hahahahaha, yes sure, Clinton could get convicted – in less than a month and a half! – for the latest of the many phony scandals thrown at her even though repeated witch hunts have all found no actual wrongdoing by her. Let’s keep things to the real world and not just invent impossible fantasies.

            So once again, what is step 2?

          • McHitler

            That’s….not a phony scandal though. It’s true that Clinton never reported on hacking attempts towards her server.

          • JMP

            And there is not going to be any court case, because it is a phony scandal and the only people pushing the idea that Clinton is somehow going to face criminal charges for this bullshit are the right-wing conspiracy theorists.

            Once again, what it the step 2 that will lead to superdelegates turning against Clinton? And I mean something that could actually happen, not some crazed fantasy. Or hey, maybe some aliens will visit the convention and threaten to blow up the Earth if the superdelegates don’t nominate Sanders! Thay’s about as likely.

          • BJW

            Maybe an asteroid strike. But I think in that case it’s more likely Obama would be dictator, I mean president until order is preserved, or something, something, something.

          • Lamashtar

            Like Trump is on trial for fraud? Its common to delay a trial til after an election.

          • IdRatherBeDancing

            There is cream for extreme butthurt. Get some.

          • McHitler

            “I don’t have a response, but lmao, buttcream :^)”

          • JMP

            He’s saying he wants to. The actual superdelegates have given no indication that they are planning on dumping the winner of the primary he asked them to. And it’s not like Sanders supporters have whined about the race being corrupt and fixed every time a rule worked against their favor, even while ignoring bad rules that benefited them like caucuses and open primaries.

          • Vegan and Tiara

            It’s kind of bad form to show up to a DEMOCRATIC primary, and bitch about their rules.

          • McHitler

            “Let the parties run the entire political system, fuck it.” -Vegan and Tiara.

          • Vegan and Tiara

            Why didn’t Bernie run as an independent?

          • McHitler

            Because the parties already have such a clutch on the electoral system that running as an independent guarantees that no-one will know about you.

          • TrumpsAlterEgo

            Ohhhhhhh . . So . . wait . . what?

          • McHitler

            Let me spell it out slowly for you.

            Independents . . . never . . . win .

            They get no publicity, since they’re not invited to the party-created debates, and no network will showcase an independent presidential debate.

          • Tiria

            The two major parties are big because between them, they serve a majority of voters, at least roughly. Independents like Ross Perot lost not for being independents, but because they simply weren’t all that interesting.
            A good candidate would win no matter how they ran. Bernie was not that candidate.

          • TrumpsAlterEgo

            Cool story bro . . That’s very special of you to try to explain your butthurt

          • Vegan and Tiara

            Sure, I’d never heard of Bernie Sanders before this election. Gary Johnson has 10% of the vote already, but I guess he doesn’t count, because he’s not an outsider like Bernie.

          • McHitler

            Sanders supports like Kyle Kulinsky and similar progressives have come out against the actions of states in their election processes for the primaries both in favor of and against Sanders.

          • malsperanza

            Let’s hear your criticque of caucuses, which are truly undemocratic. You have the floor.

          • McHitler

            Elections should be run on a one person, one vote basis. Delegates are not necessary in any capacity. People are already voting for a candidate to represent them, and they shouldn’t need a person to represent their vote as well. This does away with the problems of caucuses entirely and will probably prevent another Bush Jr.-type presidency in the future.

          • Donkey Option

            And she has more votes in the primary than Sanders, 3 million of them. So, if it is run on a one person, one vote basis, she is still the nominee, and it’s unlikely that Sanders will get so many more primary votes than Clinton tomorrow that he’ll close that gap. Now, if you’re thinking they should all be able to run as president, there is no law preventing a third-party run by any of the failed candidates, including Sanders. But having no parties and eleventy-billion people running would get ridiculous. Frankly, I think Bernie is more popular BECAUSE of the primary – a lot more people know who he is now. If he had just run against Clinton and all the Republicans, I don’t think he’d have gotten as far because he would have been lost in the static.

          • McHitler

            There are other methods for the message of Sanders to spread to people than for him to run as a democrat, assuming the current polarizing party system wasn’t in place and dominating presidential-related media.

            Also, I’m aware that failed party candidates can run. It’s just political suicide because of the party system, though, and doesn’t present a more open democracy.

          • malsperanza

            That is a recipe for mob mentality. It is exactly the thinking that got the GOP a lunatic for candidate.

            The superdelegates are part of a structure that was put in place by the Democrats to ensure that nominees would not be fringe, unelectable candidates (such as George McGovern). They balance out the direct democracy that you and many Sanders fans think is so wonderful. But direct democracy is fucking dangerous. It is lowest-common-denominator voting. It is, as well, far more vulnerable to the influence of money than a mixed system.

            I understand that you not only dislike Clinton, but are convinced, from the depths of your experience, that she is the worst candidate ever. But the system you think is in place to preserve sekrit powers, or Wall Street interests, is actually the system that not only nominated a black man to be president, but got him elected. And not just some hack with black skin, but a Constitutional scholar with (as it turned out) extraordinary talents in negotiation, diplomacy, and governance. If you are old enough to have been a voting adult before 2000, you may have a sense – a little inkling – of what an achievement that was.

            Do not be fooled by the simplicity of the one-person one vote idea. This is a very big country, and the vast majority of voters — in both parties, and among the so-called independents — are well to the right of you. Your dream of perfect direct voting would have elected Sarah Palin eight years ago.

          • McHitler

            “The superdelegates are part of a structure that was put in place by the Democrats to ensure that nominees would not be fringe, unelectable candidates.” So who gets to decide what’s “fringe?” The party. Party loyalty above ideals; anything else is “fringe.”

            By the way, you don’t know what a democracy is. This is a democratic republic; representative voting is of a republic, and the one-vote system is democratic. It’s really not that hard to grasp.

          • malsperanza

            Fringe = that guy who did not get enough votes in the primary from VOTERS. Voters who cared enough to bother to fucking register, which takes five minutes.

            Oh god, now you’re going to lecture me on all the nefarious tactics by which the Dems deliberately prevented people from voting, aren’t you?

            Because there is nothing fringe about a guy who is a declared Socialist, from the tiniest, whitest state in the Union, whose following represents exactly one narrow demographic.

            Thanks for the clarification (or whatever that was) about democracy. I’ll treasure it, as soon as I can get a translation.

          • IdRatherBeDancing

            Bernie’s fucking campaign manager set up the Super Delegate system — that’s some Clinton “ilk” getting all in the Sanders campaign. Clueless much?

          • McHitler

            Bernie’s campaign manager was born TWO YEARS BEFORE the superdelegate system was set up. You can’t actually be this misinformed.

          • malsperanza

            Hon, I am pretty sure that there was some sarcasm. Poe’s law.

          • McHitler

            With some people it’s really hard to tell sometimes. He didn’t word it like sarcasm either.

          • MissNomer

            Tad Devine created the super delegates.

          • IdRatherBeDancing

            Oh really? I knew you Berniebros did not believe in math, but you fail at history too. Tad Devine was born in the year, 1955. The Superdelegate system was created in 1982. That is 27 years before, not two. Hence, the number 27 is demonstrably different than the number 2. To wit: 27>2. See how easy First Grade math is.
            What’s more, Tad Devine has participated in Democratic Party politics for more than three decades. Indeed, he was part of the re-election campaign of one James Earl Carter in 1980 (oh another success!). He served on the Delegate Selection Committee in Walter Mondale’s campaign. Oh another success. Hence, he was part of the system that created the Superdelegates and is considered one of the premier experts on it.
            Ignorance and smug arrogance are a laughable combination, which places you square into George W. Bush territory. Congratulations. Oh, you and your ill-informed and smug arrogance can go fuck themselves ten ways from Sunday.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            She really is a sorceress! She created the superdelegate system all by herself also too!

          • McHitler

            Clinton’s ilk, not her minions. People LIKE her (establishment dems) set up the system.

          • malsperanza

            I know you’re young, and Hillary Clinton is extremely old, but the party system really does predate her.

          • McHitler

            I know they predate her. I’m saying that people similar to her set up the bullshit voting system we have today.

          • TrumpsAlterEgo

            Oh no you didn’t!!

          • malsperanza

            I could quarrel with that, or I could pull rank and tell you to revisit your pov in another 20 years, after you’ve watched well-meaning “reformers” help elect truly evil men a few times. (And by evil, I don’t mean “somewhat more centrist than us.” I mean war criminals, slaughterers, monsters: the Nixons, the Ws, the Cheneys.) Watching that happen is like having your soul ripped out and eaten by snakes. Watching the body count pile up (the literal body count) is like having your soul set on fire. If I ever meet Ralph Nader in a dark alley, I hope I have the wherewithal to stab him through the eye.

            But the shorter route is to say: voting is not a personal, spiritual experience. You vote not for your own ideals and goals, but to protect all those who are more vulnerable than you. That is the primary duty of a citizen. It is real, it is serious. It is not weak or corrupt or impure. It is mighty and righteous. And it means voting against the evil men, not for your beloved rosebud, even if you soul feels a little sting in its tender spots when you do it.

          • RobKanC

            You mean, her ilk like Ted Davine, who is in the Bernie campaign?

          • McHitler

            I don’t see him pushing for more superdelegates today.

      • JMP

        Yes, there is a problem with all the corrupt things that Hillary did, like – oh wait, that accusation turned out to be false – and that one – oh yeah, that other one – oh wait a second, every single phony scandal used to tar Hillary Clinton has turned out to be completely made up and to call her corrupt is nothing but lies from lying liar conservatives. And to see people who claim to be progressive actually spread the lies just because they happened to support her primary opponent is truly disgusting.

        • JD Mulvey

          They’re convinced that everyone but them is a dupe of the billionaire class. Wonder where they got that idea from?

        • limberrat

          Had enuf fighting with Trippy Balls in the previous Hillary post. Take care of this one won’t you?

      • Tegan A Beechey

        Also if you think that “non-establishment” candidates like Trump and Sanders don’t aid the media by creating a host of news stories then I have some swampland to sell you. News organizations don’t get a lot of readers or viewers from stories like “Predictable McYeahWeGetIt gets nomination with 80% of Primary votes”. They get a lot more out of a story about underdogs and contests. Which is why so many news outlets are focusing on the Sanders camp’s response to the AP’s prediction than the prediction itself. They have a lot more to gain from a contest that continues to the convention. But you’d know that, I suspect- you are, after all, “awake”. ;)

      • cousin itt

        There is no such thing as the “Establishment”. It’s a fiction used to advance the agendas of people who wish to sow seeds of distrust and then cynically reel in the resentful.

      • anon_the_great

        Being wealth white male US Senator from a tiny, painfully white state is about as Establishment as a human being can get.

        • Tegan A Beechey

          Since he’s served in Washington as long as she’s been the subject of vivid Conservative hallucinations I’d say he’s a pretty well-established part of the Establishment, too. :P

          • Jenny

            Well he’s established that he was an insufferable asshole. Not from me a regular person, but from the people in Washington who know him.

      • King of America

        I got to say I’m always amused when people say the media corporations are pro-Hillary. Not quite as hilariously clueless as when they say she’s in favour of the Citizens United ruling, but close.

        • IdRatherBeDancing

          ya the NY Times is in the tank for her. HISTORICALLY. Don’t you know.

          • malsperanza

            God, I don’t know how we suffered through those endless Hillary puff pieces from the NYT. Years of them. Including the ones they had to withdraw and apologize for because they were based on false information.

          • sudden_eyes

            No kidding. The tongue baths from Mo Dowd have been especially hard to take.

          • SisterArtemis

            Ewwwwww

        • JMP

          It’s like, have they never read a mainstream newspaper or watched CNN, the network news or any of the Sunday talk shows? Do they forget the years 1992 through 2001? They even credulously reported anti-Clinton slanders after Bill left office with the false story about outgoing staffers removing the W from keyboards.

          • McHitler

            In 1992 it was MUCH more beneficial and socially acceptable to be against the Clintons.

          • Jenny

            She’s like everyone’s first wife outside probate court! YUP NOT SEXIST

            https://youtu.be/lQFyw9WqTiw

          • Bemused

            Although removing all the Ws would have been hilarious, and not that hard.

        • McHitler

          How is it clueless? Media corporations are MASSIVE in wealth, and benefit substantially from a Clinton presidency due to her poor tax plan that more heavily benefits them.

          • King of America

            See?

          • Jonny On Maui

            So on the one day where we could all come together and congratulate the Clinton group for a well run campaign you’d rather piss on the coffee table?

          • McHitler

            The problem is that the campaign isn’t over; superdelegates shift, friend, and not realizing that is what pisses Sanders’ fans off. You’re calling the election before it’s over and before an actual delegate clinch.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Okay. If you need to wait until tomorrow is over in CA, fine. I’ve got a feeling you’ll still be going, “Tis but a scratch!”

            It was over long ago. Like a lot of things, the Sander’s campaign just didn’t know it was dead.

            BTW, I was all pro Bernie until Nevada. I even voted for him here. Have fun storming the castle.

            And clean the piss off the coffee table.

          • Donkey Option

            Yes. But remember, we must be nice to him and all the other because we shouldn’t be sore winners (per Dok). Although at least no one has gone for the “be nice to us because you’ll need our votes in November” yet, so that’s a plus.

          • McHitler

            That’s all that I ask, really. Don’t call the election before it’s over. If (and most likely when) Clinton wins, I’ll go for it and bow.

          • DemmeFatale

            Yes.
            The threats are PARTICULARLY annoying.

      • katz

        I prefer candidates outside the establishment, like a 20-year congressman.

        • Tegan A Beechey

          I prefer a 20-year Scotch, myself.

          • SkinlessGenderlessMan

            …..and we reach the point in the discussion where I take your suggestion out to the kitchen and get a couple fingers of 16 year Lagavulin to keep reading with.

          • Tegan A Beechey

            Ron Swanson? Is that you?

        • McHitler

          “I prefer candidates who will keep the way things are.” You almost sound conservative.

          • doktorzoom

            I guess maybe we need to add another rule, like maybe Thou Shalt Not Determine that other commenters are Not Real Progressives.

            Yes, yes, and I’m not a real Bernie supporter because I’ll vote for Hillary in the fall.

          • Jenny

            YOU’RE NOT PUNK ROCK! I’M PUNK! I WAS INTO PUNK ROCK BEFORE YOU!

          • DemmeFatale

            YOU’RE A POSER!!!

          • McHitler

            Thank you, Dok. My mouth is full of other people’s words.

          • malsperanza

            Keeping things they way they are: you mean, like appointing horrible conservatives to the Supreme Court? Just like that traitor Obama did?

            I keep hearing from Bernie supporters that I am a mindless, or perhaps self-interested supporter of the status quo. Seriously: when you have logged as many hours as I have, for as many years as I have, boots on the ground, both in my work and as a volunteer, in the fucking trenches, on the fucking barricades, you can make that accusation.

            Til then, consider this: people who have been fighting the status quo and laying down their blood, sweat, and tears for progressive causes for a long long time are supporting Clinton. Lots of them. Most of them.

            Give a little thought to why.

          • McHitler

            Those Bernie supporters can go shove it; I’m sure you have legitimate reasons for voting for Clinton.

            However just because you were in the military doesn’t mean it’s impossible for you to have poor or ill-intentioned (not likely, I feel) reasons for voting for Clinton. Even if I did exactly what you said I need to do to make an accusation, I shouldn’t make one. You being in the military tells me NOTHING about your voting.

            Don’t use your status or the status of your peers to pressure me or convince me that voting for Clinton is a positive thing. That’s not only a fallacy (argument from authority or bandwagon, your pick), but also intellectually dishonest.

            Oh, and FYI, most people in the military support either Trump or Sanders.

          • malsperanza

            Good grief. I wasn’t in the military, FFS.

            You remind me of an enraged demonstrator I once heard (standing next to me; I was demonstrating too; the year was 1972), who shouted at a person who was debating the merits of the activity: “Don’t you try to reason with me!”

            By all means dismiss the “argument from authority” if by that peculiar term you mean “people who have seen and experienced more than me, and who share my ideals, are recommending that I rethink my position.” Dismiss it, if you choose, because you prefer your images to the realities of the world around you. But to dismiss knowledge, experience, and information is not heroic; it is foolish.

            I don’t give a flying fuck who you vote for. You are one of a small, ardent group that is clinging romantically to the notion that it’s more important to vote your ideals than to actually achieve change. And you have convinced yourselves, against all the evidence, that there is no way to achieve change except by the election of the guy whose rhetoric matches yours most closely.

            I have nothing but contempt for that line of thought. But however you vote this fall, I trust you will put time in on the work that makes change happen. I don’t mean the Sanders rallies, or the FB posts, or the leafleting for Bernie and his fucking idealistic nonsense.

            I mean driving 8 hours each way every weekend this summer to register voters, and every weekend this fall to make sure people in states with voter-suppression laws have the i.d.s they need to vote.

            I mean ringing doorbells, not in neighborhoods where people like you live, but where very different people live, not to lecture them, but to listen to them.

            I mean volunteering your time stuffing envelopes and phone-banking, and standing in malls and on street corners to reach voters. I mean paying attention to bills in Congress even in non-election years, and writing letters to your representatives on every fucking issue you can, every fucking time. And not just on the bills that get attention, but the little ones, the things that slip through. I mean knowing how your Congress people vote and thanking them when they do good.

            It is easy to whine about money, and power, and corruption. Big whoop: there has always been money and power and corruption. And there has always been change and progress. But the good stuff happens through grunt work and perseverance, not in rallies or in shining cities on the hill.

          • Tegan A Beechey

            Well that irony just sailed right over your fluffy red head.

          • doktorzoom

            And Bernie-or-Bust folks wonder why they aren’t universally embraced.

          • katz

            I kind of do, when you quote me saying something that shares nothing with my actual comment except “I prefer candidates.”

            (And “the”.)

    • anon_the_great

      Loosing…

  • edith prickly

    How fucking long has this primary process been going on now? Feels like it’s longer than the hockey season. Does the US have another twenty dozen states no one talks about?

    • We still have to get through the state of Denial.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      It takes awhile to get through 57 of them…

    • King of America

    • JohnC44

      Oh it’s just getting started…this is just the first match of a best of 7 semi final practice run. We’re looking at about 2070 for an actual election…better settle in.

      • beavertank

        I don’t know, I think we did pretty ok the last time around. We could just call that one good on elections. Make Obama our Caesar, find a metaphorical Rubicon for him to cross. If it’ll make this election season stop and never repeat I’d be ok with it.

        • JohnC44

          Though I frankly wouldn’t have an issue keeping Barack Obama in office for a while longer if it were constitutional, I cannot continue to deal with having to listen to much more in the way of fevered racist wailings of the RWNJ class/herd. I am so sick of this man being made a target for blame for every conceivable issue throughout humanity while we ignore the actual issues that DO exist. I find this pathetic behavior extremely grating and it needs to come to an end. The only way to stop it is for him to move on.

  • SheketBevakaShutTheHellUp
  • cat cafe

    This story is all over the interwebs, and FB is still only showing, under Trending: “US Secret Service: Ex-Agent Says Hillary Clinton ‘Lacks Integrity’ to Be US President

    State of the Union: Democratic Candidate Bernie Sanders Appears on TV Program Ahead of California Primary

    • feministing

      was facebook ever good to begin with?

      • JMP

        As a non-parent who will not have kids, I actually like seeing other people’s baby pictures.

        • Vegan and Tiara

          Speaking of baby pictures, where was Donna Rose this weekend?

          • JMP

            Next weekend’s her birthday!

          • Vegan and Tiara

            We better get 50 pictures!!!!!! I can’t believe she’s a year old already.

          • malsperanza

            Seriously? Wow, time flies when you’re having fun.

      • limberrat

        It was when I was in college and it was solely college students. Now it’s just sad.

    • JD Mulvey

      I’m getting the “ex-agent” thing too.

      And obviously the one about the Spice Girls responding in song to Adele. Clearly FB is excellent at targeting.

      • JMP

        I think they’re going overboard to appease the right-wing after the whining about bias, even though the story that was based on was quickly proven to be false. Just like the mainstream media!

    • Ricky Gay

      that ex-agent can lick a stool. That’s the best expose he/she can muster? Pathetic. Weak. Sad.

  • AlasAnAss

    I have all kinds of problems with HRC (“Yes, we know, shut up, just shut up”), but this right here is a big fucking deal, as OHJB probably has already put it tonight. Congratulations to Secretary Clinton. Now please go burn their cities and salt their fields, lady.

    • beavertank

      …with votes.

      …also fire and salt.

      • Me not sure

        :..and piss and vinegar.

  • Blender_415

    My fellow Californians – after a gazillion years of speeches, debates, caucuses, primaries and various other forms of madness, it’s OUR turn. Personally, I don’t care who you vote for, but get off your ass and vote. Democracy is not a spectator sport; make your voice(s) heard. This is going to be great!

    • berkeleyfarm

      Amen to that

    • Sardonicuss

      As I sit in the wheelchair on the hill at the assisted living facility (probably next week, but maybe in 30 years). I will get to say:
      I voted 3 times for the first black president, and 3 times for the first women president.
      Thank god the rest of the country finally figured it out:
      Rich white men are no friends to democracy.

  • JMP

    But I already voted for Hillary Clinton in the California primary a week and a half ago!

  • OddMan

    Damn, I do wish they would have not called it before we get to vote tomorrow.
    Still gonna vote, as will most I hope.

    • Be Gin

      It always helps to practice. So you’ll be ready for the The Big Game!

    • Pierre_de_Fermat

      AP had sussed it out. I don’t think Sen Clinton was going to do anything until after, but the word began leaking. The President had some calls with Sen Sanders this afternoon, and I think the story could only be delayed for so long. I am glad for what Bernie did to get a rejuvenated left but I had voted for HRC in the primary here. I am glad for the candidates we put forward. Especially when I reflect on the shitshow that was on the other side.

  • Sardonicuss

    As a dumb ole white male in the south, who figured out Hilz was the best Clinton about 92?, and has supported her as much as possible ever since….and doesn’t have to hold his nose, because he thinks she smells just fine:
    Congratulations to the first women nominee and President of this fucked up country! I have no idea why you wanted it (you seem to smart for it to be honest)
    Now the rest of the ovarian enhanced population, get on board. She’s the most qualified candidate (m or f) this country has seen in a long while..and she has more enemies than she or anyone deserves.

    • ColumbusLib

      Excellent points!

    • Vegan and Tiara

      I also like her! I don’t think she’s a natural politician like her husband is, but I think she’s smart as hell, and extremely competent. She’s definitely the best, and most qualified candidate.

      • King of America

        TBH I think she’s smarter than Bill.

        • IdRatherBeDancing

          It really must be hell being the smartest and most prepared person in the room all the time.

        • malsperanza

          She’s definitely more progressive than Bill. But honestly, as of tomorrow night I am no longer going to compare her to her husband.

          • Vegan and Tiara

            I hate when Republicans call her “Mrs. Clinton.” It’s so condescending, and sexist, as though she has no accomplishments of her own.

        • Vegan and Tiara

          Bill has said she’s smarter than he is, and I believe him.

          • King of America

            I totes forgot he said that.

      • Sardonicuss

        Over the years, I have become convinced that her relative unpopularity is more a function of what we are raised to see as a good politician, and how ingrainded gender bias is at that level of politics.
        She seems just as passionate and articulate as any male running for the office as I have ever seen, but her passion and stridence are immediately met with “shrill” instead of “confident”.
        While she doesn’t have the old southern black preacher revival speaking cadence of Obama …or even her husband. …. she is certainly smarter than Bill, and every bit the equal of Obama.
        She has been insecure in the past, but who wouldn’t be ..having born the attacks she has had to endure.
        I think that has changed now. She is really coming into her own and the timing is right.

        • Blank Ron

          Hopefully as the actual campaign begins she’ll loosen up, temper her obvious smarts with a bit of… charm? Charisma? Neither of those is quite what I mean, but hopefully they’re in the ballpark.

          • Sardonicuss

            I think she will look more like she did in those hearings and in that last speech: The adult in room full of children.

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            Girl talk. Not catty shit, but just – loose and easy. Natural.

  • arealbaby

    Because I can’t do this on my BernieBro infested faceberk page without getting engulfed in flametears of Berniewoe, OMG!! I ACTUALLY AM EXCITED ABOUT THIS!! I watched my own dear mom work her FUCKING ASS OFF for DECADES as “the woman in a ‘man’s’ job” and get shit on – that’s right – shit on, and I did *not* support HillBillary in 2008, but I wasn’t SUPER into Obummer either, but I ainevencurrrrr I am SOOOO FUCKING OVER THIS FUCKING PRIMARY AND I WANT HER TO BENGHAZI THE FUCK OUTTA DONALD TRUMP RIGHT IN HIS BUMHOLE, WITH VOTES, AND SOME OTHER THINGS MAYBE, #commentingrules.

    So excited. PARTY. I’m like with HER because she has always been kind of a BAMF and maybe a BAMilF now? Ew I #justtotallysaidthat sorry. I kind of can’t wait to see her Benghazi Putin too. JUST TRY ME, BEARBALLS.

    Grrrr! THIRD WAVE, BITCHES!

    • Me not sure

      Just let it all out.

      • arealbaby

        I think I just did.

        • BloviateMe

          Need a cigarette? I know I do.

          • Me not sure

            Q : Do you smoke after sex?
            A : I don’t know, lift up the sheets and I’ll look.

        • Tegan A Beechey

          Sploosh

          • AlasAnAss

            Don’t let any toddlers near.

    • wurman

      Jeez . . . slow down a little bit and then post again to let us know how you really feel.

      • Apple Scruff

        Why so salty?

    • berkeleyfarm

      YAAAASSS!!

    • Constant Gardener

      This is inspired! Cheers to your mom!

      • arealbaby

        Thank you! Erm… I won’t tell her though, because then she’d find out about my secret wonkette lifestyle, and I’d have to tell her that I write F words on the internet. :-o

        • Me not sure

          Cherish your mom, and if the truth would make her feel bad, engage in harmless deception. She’s probably done it for you.

          • arealbaby

            Most definitely. [and tbh she would probably giggle with me. she just doesn’t have “tiiiime” to read wonkette, because she hasn’t retired from kicking man-ass at work yet.]

          • Me not sure

            Here’s to badass moms everywhere!

          • JohnC44

            A long if not rather sad addition to your comment as this topic is of particular poignancy:

            Today I attended a funeral of one of my former employees who passed away at the age of 97. This woman retired LAST YEAR. Not having a mother in my life or really much female influence at all being raised by my father and grandfather, I was floored by this woman as a 32 year old. I had never witnessed the sheer tenacity and cosmic force of will embodied by a prototypical Strong Woman. Seeing her family today and all of the lives made possible by her hyperhuman strengths was even more sobering. 8 children, though there were 4 more she had outlived, 28 grandchildren and 9 great grandchildren buried her today.

            To try to describe her here doesnt do her justice, but I’ll leave you with a few points to convey what I found so amazing about this woman in at least my limited context as her manager:

            I started when she was 94 going on 95. Around this time her vision was failing and she had some difficulty walking and with arthritis of the hands. She singlehandedly ran circles around other employees 60+ YEARS HER JUNIOR. Not by a small amount, either…closer to 3 TIMES more output per shift. Oh, and those arthritic hands? Used 100% of the time! She used to just laugh at the pain. If she caught YOU laughing and not working she’d knock your block off without hesitation. Frankly it didn’t matter who you were or what title you had. There was a line you did not cross, no exceptions. Laziness was simply not tolerated.

            This woman didnt start with us from her youth, she started at my company at age 63, a year after retiring from her first 40 year career. Thats 73 years of working full time every single day while raising 12 children. Think about that for a minute.

            In 33 years with my company she did not take a single sick day or personal day. Not a single hour.

            She is how I define “bad ass mom”.

          • Valkyrie

            Lovely tribute, and sounds like both the company and this force of nature were lucky to have each other.

            I have to ask–what did she do? I can’t think of anything I’d still be able to do at the age of 94 except eat pudding.

          • JohnC44

            I’m sorry for the long time it took to reply, but I was a bit of an idiot and missed the notification.

            Our plant produced dyed acetate, nylon,and polyester ribbon for crafts, packaging, and for decorative purposes. The step following dyeing the ribbon is known as “blocking” where the ribbons are spooled onto wooden or cardboard cores at defined spool lengths. The spool cores are inserted onto a clutched shaft driven by an electric motor that rotates the core to spool the material draped in boxes behind the operator. She was the supervisor of these operators and also performed operator functions while she supervised.

            This task may at first appear easy, and it is only if quality is of no concern. Spooling a roll perfectly requires the material be traversed as its spooled by hand – every yard must be handled as its run, both to assure blocking quality and overall product quality through constant visual and tactile inspection.

    • malsperanza

      OK, it was a while ago. Her hair used to be darker.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NubH5BDOaD8

  • idiotboy

    I am voting for killary tomorrow because I always vote for the most likely Dem to win. That is my way, has been that way since 1976 when I was 18 and voted for Carter with no regrets to this day.
    If Bernie had the majority I would vote for him because I am a slut voter. Just fuck the GOP. Forever.

    • Awesome Man

      Yeah, fuck the GOP! Fuck them right in the ear!

      • Emmaldrake

        “my room mate Lori Is getting paid on the internet $98/hr”…..!tr1193ur

        two days ago grey McLaren. P1 I bought after earning 18,512 Dollars..it was my previous month’s payout..just a little over.17k Dollars Last month..3-5 hours job a day…with weekly payouts..it’s realy the simplest. job I have ever Do.. I Joined This 7 months. ago. and now making over hourly. 87 Dollars…Learn. More right Here !tr1193u:➽:➽:.➽.➽.➽.➽ http://GlobalSuperJobsReportsEmploymentsLinksGetPay$98Hour…. .★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★::::::!tr1193o….,….

      • chimichanga

        Triple, pile-on, grapefruit in the face fuck the GOP in some hilariously inappropriate orifice.

    • BeachBum

      They have only gotten worse since 1964.

    • Be Gin

      upvoted for saying”slut voter” like it is a good thing.

  • Whollyholeyholy

    I had no idea that I would actually feel misty-eyed emotional about the woman thing. I do, though. Wow. A woman. Wow. Finally.

    • berkeleyfarm

      I am annoyed that California got pipped at the post … but about to go and raise a glass to freedom.

    • Llareggub

      I keep tearing up too, but then the Sanders response keeps following every announcement. I am going to hold the full cathartic sobbing when it happens (once and for all) on the floor of the convention.

  • anon_the_great

    Senator Sanders responds

    https://youtu.be/E4u9bfWy-BE

  • Constant Gardener

    Fuck you, Glass Ceiling. The Boss just came through. Like a boss!

    • BloviateMe

      She Vince Fostered that mother fucking ceiling.

  • doktorzoom

    Hi. Your Friendly Neighborhood Comments Moderator here. Please take another look at the rules and try not to slaughter each other over this.

    Whee!

    • RobKanC

      awwww. You are no fun at all..

    • Tegan A Beechey

      Are you saying I’m not allowed to lick the tears off of their faces like a deer with a mineral deficiency? :(

      • BloviateMe

        Are you dedicated to tears, and faces?

        • Tegan A Beechey

          Just like my cat, I think licking tears is helpful.

          Just like my cat, I am wrong.

          • BloviateMe

            Think of licking as a superpower, that you should use for good, not evil.

          • malsperanza

            When my cat does that, it usually makes me laugh. And since laughing is better than crying, your cat is correct.

      • Me not sure

        Nicely phrased.

      • beavertank

        I see no rules against schadenfreude.

      • Jenny

        https://youtu.be/pbIR51_J_qY

        The tears of unfathomable sadness, mmm yummy!

      • Apple Scruff

        Only Cartman is allowed to do that.

      • MissNomer

    • King of America

      Wait, murderposts are against the rules now? It’s turning into a goddam police state!

      (also too I think Disqus is having a hernia)

    • malsperanza

      I suppose you’re going to tell us that we should not feed the trolls either. But they are some of our cutest trolls! And I have this little bag of pink snarkmallows …

      • Bemused

        We feed them like they are pate geese. Watching their livers explode with votes is fun!

    • zerosumgame0005

      hey I’m being fucking NICE and not getting into all that shit tonight! :P

    • Anarchy Pony

      I guess now I do have a reason for Monday drinking.

      • Dr. Krieger IRL

        Oh, it’s Monday still? I guess I haven’t had enough to drink.

    • BloviateMe

      Sooo, this lady not realizing she basically has Bernie’s head on a pike, whilst apparently supporting Bernie, is too far?

      • doktorzoom

        Heh. I merely assumed that, as a Boisean, she hadn’t quite made it all the way to Giant Puppets yet.

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    Loving the butthurt down thread. LOLZ!

  • katz

    There’s only room for one, here she comes, here she comes!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEkXAHIKdKI

  • Blank Ron

    I enter the comments with trepidation, expecting yet another H vs B shoutfest…

    • Dr. Krieger IRL

      I plan to toe the Wonkette party line of: “they’re both good.”

      • malsperanza

        Yeah, that line is solid for about another 24 hours. After that, time to get with the program.

        • Anarchy Pony

          The Wonkenist purges will not be looked on kindly by history.

          • BloviateMe

            The losers get the Trotsky treatment, no worries.

          • Anarchy Pony

            I look forward to the ice pick and ax wounds.

          • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

            I look forward to looking backward at all this shite…

          • Sir Checkmate

            OT a bit, but I was at a museum in Seattle a year or two ago and they actually had the ice pick in there. It was amazing to me.

          • Anarchy Pony

            In Seattle? I hope it was on loan or something…

          • Dr. Krieger IRL

            Ice picks for everyone!
            Oh…

          • malsperanza

            They will never be known. They will happen in the dark, in the dead of night. The trains to the gulag will leave from an abandoned station, disguised as Hollywood tour buses.

      • Tegan A Beechey

        I plan to go with “Math happened, and we wound up with a better candidate than the festering boil of hatred and tan cream the GOP picked, so stop bitching.”

        • Dr. Krieger IRL

          I like that!

        • Anarchy Pony

          Pretty low bar.

          • Dr. Krieger IRL

            Don’t blame me, blame the Grand Old Party.

          • Tegan A Beechey

            Low bars are actually impressive in limbo :D

          • Anarchy Pony

            I thought in the bar metaphor, one was supposed to vault over the bar…

          • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

            Around here we play by our own rules…

          • Bemused

            Calvinball.

          • BloviateMe

            …and a favorite of little people the world over.

          • Me not sure

            “How low can you go?”
            Chubby Checker

          • BeachBum

            Those damn voters causing shit again.

    • Anarchy Pony

      You will not be disappointed.

    • JD Mulvey

      Watch –it’s called winning with class.

  • anon_the_great

    Getting tired of Senator Sanders telling the ‘media’ (in this case two out of tens of thousands of new organizations) on what they should publish and when.

    • Lamashtar

      As a Hillary supporter, I would have appreciated them waiting til the freaking vote was over, too.

  • Dr. Krieger IRL

    Tomorrow in CA we vote! I’m still casting my Primary vote for Bernie because I respect him and admire the way he handles BS questions in debates. In November, I choose to vote for whomever is on the Party ticket. Both Bernie and Hillary are excellent politicians and very qualified candidates, and I’d gladly be presided-over by either of them.

    • arealbaby

      hehe… grrrrrowl.

    • arealbaby

      Oh wait… “Presided over.” Okay. Right. Yeah.

      • Lamashtar

        Wait, that was a euphemism? Have I misunderstood the point of this election??

  • Anarchy Pony

    I can’t wait for all the patronizing condescension!

    • BloviateMe

      Yeah, people like YOU always do.

      • Anarchy Pony

        Yay! More! More!

        • malsperanza

          Um, you DO realize that you are just misunderstanding how notcomments work, don’t you?

          • Pickwicknext

            Hey! You leave my future husband alone!

    • JD Mulvey

      //eyeroll

    • katz

      Oh, honey, you don’t understand. You can’t ask to be condescended to.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        so the trick is to constantly ask for it, in order to avoid it?

      • Anarchy Pony

        Is that meta? That seems kind of meta…

        • Ricky Gay

          meta? How cute. You can just close your browser and go play Chutes and Ladders now. /end/ condescension

    • Me not sure

      I’ll be the judge of that.

  • zerosumgame0005

    Tuesday morning plan:
    drag lazy ass outta bed
    shave
    shit
    shower
    get on my little putt-putt and go VOTE early

  • Dr. Krieger IRL

    Okay folks, let’s start us a fight!
    Pie is better than cake.

    • Blender_415

      Cake libelzzzz!!!!!

    • Ricky Gay

      cakes WE LIKE!1!

    • Tegan A Beechey

      I WILL CUT YOU.

    • depends on who the baker is.

      • Dr. Krieger IRL

        Me. And I put whiskey in my pie crust because chemistry and badassery.

        • Brendan_M

          I will try that! I use a similar process with wine and pasta sauces; I call it “one for you, all the rest for me”.

          • Dr. Krieger IRL

            I do that to!
            But chemically speaking, high-proof booze will hydrate the starches in the dough without combining the glutenin and gliadin proteins, thereby making gluten: a naturally-occurring and healthy protein that has a toughening effect on baked goods. You can fuck up a boozy pie crust six ways to Sunday, and it’ll still be tender and flaky, yet strong and supportive.

          • Brendan_M

            I could totally imagine Dr. Krieger saying that. You totally own that screen name.

          • Dr. Krieger IRL

            Thank you!

    • TrumpsAlterEgo

      COME AT ME BRO!!!!!

    • Brendan_M

      You’ve made a very powerful enemy today.
      http://www.magmire.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/Cake-Boss.jpg

      • Dr. Krieger IRL

        BRING IT! I’ll snark and cynicism him into the mental ward!

        • Brendan_M

          Eh, you could probably follow him around for a week and narc when he leaves a bar and tries to drive drunk again.

      • doktorzoom

        Cake Mob Boss is a much scarier show.

        • Brendan_M

          Did you know that Cake Mob Boss, aka “Fat Tony”, has extensive business dealings with Donald Trump going back to the mid-80s?

          • Dr. Krieger IRL

            I’ve also heard that Fat Tony keeps a young pointy-haired boy around because he makes a great Manhattan.

        • limberrat

          So is that where they team up with the Amish Mafia?

          • Dr. Krieger IRL

            Sometimes even the Ohmish Mafia, but they resist a little too much at times.

          • Amy!

            IC watt you did there.

          • Dr. Krieger IRL

            Shocking, isn’t it?

      • JMP

        Ads for that thing seem to run constantly during, um, a cartoon about ponies that I certainly don’t watch regularly, no not at all.

        • Brendan_M

          I actually owe almost all of my knowledge of the Cake Boss to a parody version of him that comedian Paul F. Tompkins does on podcasts. That is why I have a completely undeserved affection for him.

    • Blender_415

      But really – the cake/pie thing has been going on longer than time itself. But have you ever tried to pull off a multi-layer pie? I have – and so sorry for the awful imagery, but it collapsed into something that looked like a giant placenta (it was still delicious, but it was hideous).

      You can build things with cake. Up with cake!

      • Courser

        That happened when I made a baked ziti casserole thing. It looked disgusting, kind of an internal organ icky pinkish with red chunks of tomato and the little ziti tubes. Just nasty looking. I ate it because I don’t waste food and it was good, but it was honestly something I had to eat in a darkened room.

        • Dr. Krieger IRL

          Mmmm… Ziti al’Forno…

    • doktorzoom

      I like Pie. Pinkamena Diane Pie.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVToU6e6FgY

    • limberrat

      SCREW YOU! IT’S ALL ABOUT COBBLER!

      • Brendan_M

        Cobblers are worse than Hitler! You might as well bake a fucking crumble like a savage! CRISPS or nothing!1!

        • limberrat

          I’LL CUT YOU…a piece.

        • Courser

          Oooh, I love me an apple crisp. Or cherry. Warm with vanilla ice cream. Yum.

          • starfanglednut

            Anything cherry. Pie, cobbler, crisp…

          • Dr. Krieger IRL

            Turnovers?

      • Dr. Krieger IRL

        I do love cobbler, oh so very much.

        • limberrat

          Ok we cool!

    • Brendan_M

      Seriously, you can make so many different kinds of pie, it is just better. I was going to make a broccoli, goat cheese, and egg pie tomorrow for my beloved farmor (Swedish paternal grandmother).

      • Dr. Krieger IRL

        That sounds both delicious and very lovely! I’d love to hear how that works out!
        Also, garden peas, caramelized onions and goat cheese are an excellent trio for a quiche.

        • Brendan_M

          I will try that when peas come in at the farmers’ market (also, I need to put in some peas in my garden). Her 96th birthday is Saturday, so I will try to think of something special to make her. Maybe some mini-creme brulees.

          • Dr. Krieger IRL

            Wish her a happy 96th for me, that’s spectacular!
            Mini creme-brulees sound delicious right now.

      • Tegan A Beechey

        Quiche me, I’m Pierish.

    • Donkey Option

      I love chocolate so I love cake. But I hate fondant because it is the devil. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a non-fondant wedding cake? The hardest. But my cake will be delicious!

      • Jenny

        My kids like when I make fondant out of marshmallows.

      • Dr. Krieger IRL

        Fondant is pure evil! Good luck on your quest for a wedding cake that actually tastes good. My cousin did the same thing, and she and her husband settled on one carrot, one red velvet and one chocolate. That was the best wedding I’d ever gone to because it was all about having a great time with loved ones rather than the bullshit and trappings.

        • Donkey Option

          I’m going with a chocolate (maybe red velvet) for the cake, but we’re also having 8 different kinds of cupcakes so people can have dessert whenever. We’re also doing the cake cutting in the first 20 minutes so people can have cake. I believe in making dessert available as much as possible during a reception, because it is the best.

          • Dr. Krieger IRL

            I like the sounds of your planning. When do I get my invite?

            “Honey, who is that hairy dude eating platefuls of cupcakes?”
            “Oh, he’s just an online friend.”
            “A what?”

    • Pickwicknext

      I am a cake gal. Cake is the best. however, i do know how to make both well.

      • Dr. Krieger IRL

        To be perfectly honest, I like them both, though pie tugs at my heart strings a little more strongly.
        Ultimately, my stomach is an equal opportunity organ.

    • Sardonicuss

      This kind of thing is tearing the country apart. Also: Does the cake have ice cream? Does the pie have cool whip? Can we deal with these hard truths?

      • Dr. Krieger IRL

        Cool-whip and ice cream are non-issues, they’re just popularized by Fox News to stir up fear and anger!

    • BloviateMe

      Uhh…the website is cakefarts, not piefarts.

      Cake 1, pie 0

      http://www.bestshockers.com/cake-farts/

      • Dr. Krieger IRL

        I was wondering how long it would take for that to show up!

        • BloviateMe

          I gave a gentlemen’s pause, and no one grabbed it, so I really had no choice.

          • Dr. Krieger IRL

            You’re a fine, upstanding member of this community.

      • Lamashtar

        …Closed that website in a hurry.

    • Jenny

      I’m making ice cream right now for my kiddos. It’s too damn hot to bake!

    • lroom

      Brownies or GTFO!!!11!!

  • Jenny

    I was going to wait until tomorrow to drink but WHOOOO HOOOO! FINALLY!

    • Brendan_M

      You Mormon or something? I’m a Bernie supporter and I’m celebrating with booze!

      Hmm, maybe I have a problem….

      • Jenny

        Nope, I just don’t do booze well and fuck all those calories! But Hillz has been my role model since I was about 12, so a drink to Hillary has been a long time in the making.

        • Courser

          In the past I’ve had gin and Red Bull.

        • Daisy

          I feel the same as you, although absolutely no drinking for me! :( Age limits, and all.

    • Llareggub

      I went to scrounge up a drink and all I have is Southern Comfort and Sierra Mist, but I needed a damn drink. I’ll probably drink tomorrow to, but with better preparations.

      • sudden_eyes

        I have tequila. I wanted something else. Sigh.

        ‘Merican problems.

        • Llareggub

          Was it soco and sierra mist? Too late. All gone. There are worse ways to go than tequila.

    • Apple Scruff

      Hey, I’m still drinking tomorrow. Don’t let the news stop you!

  • peteywheats

    “Super” “Democracy”

  • Juan de Fuca

    Hillary has the equivalent of Schwarzkopf’s team who led the left hook around Kuwait in Booker, Biden, Obama, Warren et al, and Trump’s got a bunch of guys saying, “I’m not there yet.”

    Posted this two years ago and still stand by it:

    https://westernrifleshooters.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/loneranger2.gif

  • anon_the_great

    Tonight, it became clear that for the 1st time in American history a major American political Party has nominated a woman to be the President. Rather than celebrating the conversation is about Bernie’s hurt fee fees.

    • Anarchy Pony

      Because as we all know, progressives and liberals are shockingly reticent about voting for women.

      • Tiria

        Actually, many progressive cishet white dudes are. There’s a contingent that’s focused entirely on economic reform who think social-justice issues are just a distraction from the “real” problem. Bernie’s one of these, actually. He keeps arguing that if we just fix the economy, bigotry will magically go away.

        • Anarchy Pony

          That’s just a gross oversimplification. There’s a reason the Repubs push all the culture wars stuff so hard, specifically to keep their mouth breathing supporters from recognizing the way their economic policies continually ream them.
          Of course that’s not to say social justice problems are imaginary. But of course you can’t actually divorce social justice and economic justice. They are intrinsically linked. It’s all about exploitation and marginalization. It’s easier to exploit marginalized groups.

        • Apple Scruff

          A few months ago, I was listening to NPR’s politics podcast (which is awesome, btw). And one of their reporters said something that is so true, that Bernie supports liberal social issues, but he isn’t passionate about them like he is about economics.

          • Jenny

            But he doesn’t know much about economics either. So there’s that.

    • beavertank

      Hey, old people are fragile, if we don’t break it to him nice and easy he might just break. In half. Literally.

    • Apple Scruff

      I’ve been saying that for the past few days, it hasn’t been about the first woman nominee but WHAT WILL BERNIE DO???

      • anon_the_great

        It’s like living with a person with anger management issues. You tiptoe around hoping things are all groovy but that never works. No matter how accommodating you try to be he always finds a reason to go off on you.

        • BloviateMe

          What the fuck does THAT mean?

          • anon_the_great

            I see what you did there. Bravo

        • Marceline

          The hypervigilence of trying not to set off Bernie’s conspiracy theory is ridiculous. It’s time we just realize they are every bit as cracked as the tea party right and stop giving them all this power.

          • beavertank

            About a month ago I came to the same conclusion: They’re the left’s Tea Party. And insane zealotry isn’t a good look for anyone.

            That’s the point when I started backing slowly away from Sanders. I liked some of his ideas, but then things started getting crazy, and I want none of that.

          • anon_the_great

            No one is a cracked as a Teaper. No one.

            As a long time Party hack I want and need folks from the Bernie camp to be active, not so much to fall in line behind Hillary, but to work to elect good Progressive/Social Democratic Mayors, Statehouse Reps, School Board members, Sextons… all those local seats where government meets the People.

          • Donkey Option

            The problem is that a lot of them pride themselves as being above politics and not voting because the system is rigged. Of course you can’t make a difference in a system based on voting if you don’t vote. But I guess it’s more fun to bitch and moan but then say it isn’t my fault because I don’t vote because the system is screwed and what we really need is a revolution, but not right now I want to finish my game, and next weekend I’m going to a house party, but I swear, any day now I’m going to totally gather with everyone else and we’ll BURN THIS PLACE DOWN!!!!!!

          • anon_the_great

            I was a Jackson supporter. I was 20 something at the time. I can feel the BB’s pain.

          • JMP

            As a stupid twenty-something, I was one of those idiots who helped elect W. Bush by voting for Nader. Though at least it was in Illinois was was never going Republican, it’s still the worst thing I’ve done in my life. Please, current young people, don’t repeat my mistake.

          • Apple Scruff

            I feel your pain. I too was a dumb young Nader voter (in PA) because it was what all the cool kids were doing. Unlike Susan Sarandon, I own up to my stupidity and learned from it.

            Interesting how we all kinda love Gore now, tho.

          • berkeleyfarm

            I was one of the few Democrats of voting age in these here Excited Snakes who didn’t hear Mario Cuomo’s famous speech at the ’84 convention, because I was outside Moscone Center listening to Jesse Jackson at the time.

            Mind you, it was more painful being an Edwards supporter … after that happened.

          • Lamashtar

            Ugh, yes. I was one of his original constituents and supported him from the start.

          • bookish

            I was gonna burn this place down but I can’t find my damn bifocals.

          • Notreelyhelping

            More progressive sextons!

        • sudden_eyes

          Facebook is a fucking nightmare right now. I’m afraid to even like the posts I like, for fear of getting buttonholed and covered with angry spittle in my private messages.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Hey, it ain’t over ’til the fat lady sings.

        • Me not sure

          Well, Ben Carson’s wife does have a nice voice.

        • MissNomer

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Way to go, Brunnhilda! Are those breast plates or hubcaps???

          • starfanglednut

            Aotk.

  • anon_the_great

    At least Scot Adams can sleep soundly now.

    • Me not sure

      With the fishes?

    • sudden_eyes

      What was his objection to Sec’y Clinton, could someone remind me?

      • Donkey Option

        She was going to kill him, like she killed everyone ever in the history of people dying.

        • J.Bo

          Well, she did shoot a man in Reno just to watch him die… but all the others were accidental.

  • chascates
    • King of America

      holy shit, he’s fucking insane.

      • beavertank

        Narcissists are notorious for having a poor understanding of the actual state of the world around them.

      • Tracy

        Makes perfect sense to me. Insult any judge’s ancestry and then say they’ll be biased against you and presto, only white ones will be left.

        • Lamashtar

          Yeah, a legal article made that very case. Don’t like your judge? Be racist against him and he has to recuse!

      • Me not sure

        Well, duuuuh!

      • sudden_eyes

        You’re not from New York, are you? We’ve been ignoring him for decades. Which has had poor results, I have to admit.

    • SayItWithWookies

      There he is, laser-focused on policy and the really big isssues. #PivotToPresidential

  • johnnymorrissey

    A sure. Unite, or it’s that bollix.

  • Apple Scruff

    I love how Gawker buried the news in a joke article about Martin O’Malley. Never stop being you, Gawker.

    #TEAMHOGAN

    • Sardonicuss

      I kept wondering; What are these Gawkholes going to do when she wins the fucking nomination!
      How can you claim to be any kind of an actual journalistic entity when you jump that deep into a losing proposition and burn every bridge on the way out?
      They are fucked, and not just because of Hulk and Theil. The Enquirer has more credibility and more decency to boot.

      • Apple Scruff

        I relished the news about Peter Thiel this past week. Yes, Gawker is indeed FUCKED. And every last one of those so-called “writers” is going to have serious problems finding a new job after they’ve spent the past 9 months bashing the Democratic nominee and (most likely) next president.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      Gawker really went downhill fast.

    • Llareggub

      I hope a woman buys it.

  • TheGrandWaz00

    Pffft, big deal. A major party will be nominating a woman for President for the first time in this nation’s history. The other one is nominating an orangutan.

    • Blank Ron

      OOK!
      – an actual orangutan

      • Pickwicknext

        Librarian Libelz! or OOOOK!

    • WhyFelicia

      Great ape libel!!!!

  • Manhattan123

    Hey, has anyone seen how the Bros are handling this? I imagine in their usual calm, rational, not-at-all whiny or delusional way?

    • Apple Scruff
      • Apple Scruff

        Just noticed that is from yesterday, but still holds true!

      • beavertank

        That guy just keeps getting weirder and weirder. The level of desperation in that single tweet alone is off the charts.

        • Apple Scruff

          How this guy has a job writing for the NY Daily News is beyond me.

          • beavertank

            Isn’t the Daily News one of the weird tabloids that’s about on par with the National Enquirer?

          • Apple Scruff

            That’s the Post. The Daily News is (just barely) more legit.

          • Vegan and Tiara

            The Daily News is the paper that you read on the subway in NYC when one of your fellow riders leaves it behind. It’s pretty funny some times, and I think they hate Donald Trump, so there’s that.

          • sudden_eyes

            They hate Trump and they like Hillary Clinton, so there’s that.

          • Vegan and Tiara

            They’re also not owned by Rupert Fucking Murdoch like every other newspaper in NYC.

          • sudden_eyes

            It’s the other NYC daily that Rupert Murdoch DOESN’T own.

          • Vegan and Tiara

            David Brooks, Peggy Noonan, Bill Kristol, and Maureen Dowd all have jobs. Life is unfair.

        • Marceline

          I gave up on Shaun King when he said that his “council of advisors” told him that Hillary wanted to kill him.

          • Donkey Option

            Has someone checked on him? Is he feeling okay? Does he need to rest a bit? Get some fresh air?

          • limberrat

            So is he before or after Scott Adams?

          • Be Gin

            I’m sure Karl Rove will find something else for him to do after this.

          • Sakonyachen

            I missed that choice event.

          • ltmcdies

            the ones between his ears, I’m sure…

            sad really

          • Tansy Geek

            I guess he can go hang out with Scott Adams and they can bore each other.

          • feministing

            you’re shitting me

          • Marceline

            Nope. It made me realize that Kin had crossed the line from zealotry to mental illness. That’s textbook paranoia. I truly hope someone took notice and started directing him toward professional help.

      • Vegan and Tiara

        Sometimes I think the Bernie Bros are the younger brothers of the Paultards.

        • JMP

          Some of them actually are the former aPaulstles; it doesn’t make any rational sense, considering that Sanders and the Pauls’ economic ideologies are diametrically opposed, but both attracted some of the same supporters who just want an outsider who will fight the establishment, man.

          • Donkey Option

            That’s actually the point. Their whole point is that they can’t like anything popular. They’re like the political version of hipsters. They like this obscure political movement, but you’ve never heard of it. They’re too cool for this mainstream stuff.

          • Vegan and Tiara

            Legalize pot, also, too!

        • ltmcdies

          I believe many are Paultards…which is fine…they can go vote Libertarian now

        • Left Coast Tom

          “HA! Goodman”, of course, is a Paultard.

      • cousin itt

        Isn’t Shaun dead?

      • Left Coast Tom

        If “Super-Delegates DO NOT count” in the numerator of the “does Hillary have a majority” ratio, then they cannot count in the denominator, in which case she’s a lock to “clinch the nomination!” tomorrow. If they count in the denominator, then they have to be counted in the numerator, in which case she’s apparently clinched it now.

        The entire problem Shaun is having is he wants to count SDs when it’s convenient, and not count them when it’d be inconvenient.

        • BJW

          Numerator, denominator…they don’t understand math that well.

      • feministing

        his twitter, and him really, is embarrassing on many fronts. i’m hardly surprised.

    • JD Mulvey

      Oh they’re all falling into line, promising to help Hillary defeat Trump… just kidding.

      • they will eventually. and the rest, fuck em. it won’t matter.

    • sudden_eyes

      If you have the stomach, check out the comments section at the Guardian. It’s not going well.

      • Manhattan123

        I’m almost tempted to go over to Salon just for the shits and giggles but I gave up on that site a while ago.

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    ♫Some gotta win, some gotta loooooose
    Good Time Bernie’s got the blues…♫

    Senator, please be a grown-up about this. You’re 74 fercrapsake.

  • BMW

    If we’re not going to count superdelegates, Bernie only needs 106% of the remaining delegates to win! #unfair

    • Me not sure

      You didn’t say that there would be math.

      • Blackest Noobs

        none of us would be in this mess if we all were better at math.

        • Me not sure

          Define none.

          • Blackest Noobs

            if i was better at math, i could.

          • King of America

            flawless victory

          • Blackest Noobs

            i upvoted this not because i like patting myself on the back like some wealthy racist bigot asshole but because i assume it’s a mortal kombat reference.

            and honestly that’s how our election this year should be resolved…by mortal kombat….im pretty sure Hillz would DESTROY Tiny Fingers Vulgarian

          • BloviateMe

            Zero is, oddly, not divisive.

          • Me not sure

            Mostel was deeply divisive, having been blacklisted.

          • BloviateMe

            Well, you’re Mostely right.

          • Me not sure

            “When you’ve got it flaunt it!”

      • zerosumgame0005

        Math is a Harsh Mistress

        • Courser

          That Math Don’t Love Me!

    • RobKanC

      Why is math being so mean? Please make it stop

      • Zango LeHoonery

        Can you show us on the Bernie doll where the math touched you?

  • Hutch
    • feministing

      it’s the good version too!!

  • SayItWithWookies

    Yay for Hillary — unofficially, of course. When I’ll really be cheering for her is on January 20th, because the damn thing’s never over until it’s over. Not being cynical, just don’t want to watch someone do a touchdown dance at the five yard line and then fumble it.

    • WhyFelicia

      I just applied for my Canadian passport, just in case.

  • Sardonicuss

    The Pres spent 45 minutes talking to The High Sparrow earlier today.
    That would be a conversation worth hearing.
    “Bernie…..yes I know….I know…rigged. It’s a fucked up system, but what can you do?”

    • berkeleyfarm

      Beat it with VOTES

    • malsperanza

      Did he indeed? My guess is, it went more like this:

      “Uh-huh. Mm-hm. Yep, yes, right. Um-hm, ok, yes. Well, that’s all very nice, Senator, but speaking of berning to the ground, were you planning to go back to the Senate this fall? Asking for a friend.”

  • Vincent Ricola

    Let’s get this women elected!

  • Fly

    I look forward to seeing the first dude back home laying around the house with hookers and blow.

    • Sardonicuss

      Cigars. Cuban if you please.

      • Fly

        I think it’s time for him to inhale.

      • SayItWithWookies

        They’re legal now, thanks to Barack Obama. Coincidence? I think not.

      • SisterArtemis

        My neighbor tells me its all about the Dominican ones now. What do I know? I think they stink. But cigar shops smell real nice!

    • JD Mulvey

      You’re looking forward to your adolescent fantasy? That’s really really inneresting.

      • Fly

        I live vicariously through Bill Clinton.

    • bookish

      And this time, keep it on the down low, FFS.

    • anon_the_great

      Jealous much?

    • Zango LeHoonery

      We’ve taken to labeling Bill the First Lebowski. I expect him up at the crack of noon and wandering the place in a faded bathrobe.

  • BMW

    I am not looking forward to tomorrow night. If Hillary wins California, hardcore Bernie supporters will claim the AP announcement suppressed the vote. If Bernie wins California, they’ll claim this prove Bernie deserves the nomination because he won California and a bunch of other states recently (because as you know, winning states chronologically is more important than actually getting more votes).

    • MissNomer

      Who cares what they say? Not I.

      • JD Mulvey

        They can say whatever they want –and the networks will still cut away to the President announcing his endorsement of Mrs. Clinton.

      • feministing

        i like your attitude!

    • SisterArtemis

      Also, too, size of rallies. Very important.

  • MissNomer

    • Werewolf

      I’ll be in my bunk….

    • SisterArtemis

      Lordy!

  • Me not sure

    The major news outlets have spent a bundle to send their entire news teams out to California to cover the big night tomorrow, and now it’s over. I find that deeply satisfying.

    • Left Coast Tom

      Just looked up tomorrows forecast here…high 75, low 54, morning low clouds, afternoon sun. Those news teams will have a great time.

      • berkeleyfarm

        My friend the news producer was out at Crissy Field in SF all day.

        N.B. a number of the big network will send the Talent, but hire local teams to do the cameras/producing. Election years are the full employment act for the folks in the biz who are independent contractors. If Nevada is a swing state as in previous elections, my friend will be working in Reno a lot between now and November.

        • malsperanza

          NV most definitely a swing state this year.

      • Me not sure

        “Stay comfortable San Diego.”

      • WhyFelicia

        High 75? Why the fuck is is 92F here in Seattle?!!!!1one

  • Pinkham’s Law

    Uh . . . dropped a recipe in the Porch Chop thread, if anyone’s interested, but looks like I need to gear up for this thread. Give me a minute.

  • sudden_eyes

    Did anyone hear Madame Secretary’s interview with Rachel Maddow at 9 p.m.? (I don’t have cable.) That must have been entertaining.

    • doktorzoom

      It was actually recorded shortly before the AP made the call.

      • JD Mulvey

        Hills had to know the AP was going with their story.

        • Left Coast Tom

          I’m not so sure. The campaign had asked it’s undeclared SD supporters to hold off. AP interviewed them all individually, and apparently didn’t incrementally adjust it’s total until the threshold was crossed.

          • JD Mulvey

            But they would have gone to her for a comment before going to press with it. That’s standard operating procedure.

        • doktorzoom

          Could be, not sure how long ahead of time the interview was recorded. All I meant was that the AP story didn’t come up in the interview.

    • JMP

      It was, but it was recorded slightly earlier in the day so they were talking on the assumption that she would clinch the nomination tomorrow night.

    • Daisy

      Recording it, myself. I have trouble sitting through stuff, although it’s actually the worst with TV shows, rather than political interviews and debates.

    • SisterArtemis

      It will be my next stop (watching Chris Hayes on the web right now, he just got done with a long interview with Kamala Harris)
      http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26315908/ns/msnbc_tv-rachel_maddow_show

      I don’t have cable (or much cable, and never watch that either) but I cue up Chris Hayes, Maddow, sometimes Lawrence O’Donnell, on their webpages, and of course get to pause and rewind when I miss stuff because the cats knocked over the fucking pot plant again when they tried to jump into the bunny cage, which they KNOW they are not supposed to do, and what was Hillz saying again?… but I digress

      Anyway, the web is my friend. May I use it wisely.

  • shastakoala

    I find her very Empressive.

    • Major_Major_Major

      It czartinally is.

  • Notreelyhelping

    Honestly? I wish my mom was still around to see this. (My dad, not so much.) Well done, Madam Secretary.

    • WhyFelicia

      So glad my nana isn’t here. If she had managed to survive the Kenyan Homosexual Usurper, then Hillary Black Helicopters New World Order Clinton as Prez would surely have kills her.

      Better that she was hit by that truck.

  • JD Mulvey

    So now we get to see what it is that Bernie wants in exchange for his support. Speculation is rampant, but what none of the pundits will ask is, did he get anything by staying in that he wouldn’t have already gotten if he withdrew a month ago when it was clear he wasn’t going to win?

    • Sheepshagger

      Ëarly bird special and an ovaltine is all that bugger is getting now. And maybe keeping the use of his legs.

      • BMW

        Clinton/Corleone 2016.

        • Sardonicuss

          Jinx! Jinx!

    • Sardonicuss

      ” You want my answer….here’s my answer Senator..nothing. …and I would appreciate it if you would pick up the fee for the gaming license as well.”

    • malsperanza

      Here is what Sanders will demand:
      1. Condemn Israel, because the Democratic Party platform is the PERFECT place to have a stupid pointless spat about fucking Israel.
      2. Siiiiiingle PAAAAAAYER.
      3. Free college to be paid for by the states, because fuck the states and their petty financial problems.
      4. A plank that says racism is bad (because the Dems have never thought of that before.)
      5. War Bad! Beer Good!

      Here is what Sanders will not mention:
      1. Cities.
      2. Syrian refugees.

      • JH Marx

        War Bad! Beer Good!
        sez it all!1!1

    • Zango LeHoonery

      I say he gets a pitcher of ice water with lemon slices and grabs a seat on the dock and watch the fucking sunset. Perhaps a sammich.

      Love the guy, he needs to class it up.

  • Pinkham’s Law

    h0W CAN THE ap CCALL THIS?!!?!??!?!??!11/!?/@ sUPERdEL3GAT3ES DONT’ V 0TE UNTIL jUL;Y!!! tH3R’ES NO WA6Y TO KNWO WH0 THER3’3R GONNSAS FO FOR’1111 This is abs7urd!! FE3L THE B3N 0R B7RN IT D0W2N!!!1!2U

    • sudden_eyes

      Are you familiar with The Ghost of Eustace Tilley’s work over at Talking Points Memo? Because you may be outdoing him. Almost. Maybe a few more zeros and lower-case letters?

    • Jonny On Maui

      Take it easy champ, you’ve got a big day tomorrow…

  • Bemused

    I’m. I can’t. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :D :D :D :D

  • BMW

    Thinking back to thos time 8 years ago…does anyone know whatever happened to the P.U.M.A.s? (And were they more or less annoying than the Bernie Bros?)

    • sudden_eyes

      There were fewer threats. They were annoying as hell, but not as aggressive.

      • JD Mulvey

        They were a media fabrication.

        • BMW

          I have heard the same about Bernie Bros. I don’t think they call themselves that, but they sure are fucking up my facebook feed right now.

        • doktorzoom

          Nahh, we had ’em here in le Wonket. How many were actual Hillary supporters who suddenly started posting racist memes about Obama, and how many were McCain supporters stirring the shit was hard to sort out.

          One thing Dems have always been great at is infighting.

          • Donkey Option

            I didn’t even know about Wonkette back then. But that is an issue, kind of like the Bernie Bro issue. Which of them are real? I’m sure some are actual Bernie supporters, but some may be Trump or non-affiliated trying to stir up trouble. I’d ask the why and what are they trying to accomplish questions, but I don’t even think they could answer that, other than “for shits and giggles.”

          • WhyFelicia

            Oh, God, the PUMAs were so fucking annoying. Kept vowing to vote for McCain instead of Obama. That is when Wonket became a WAR BLOG.

          • Zango LeHoonery

            We’ve always been at war with EastGawker!!!!1!. Anyways, it did get testy in 2008, but I’m happy to have Hillz on top this round.

        • limberrat

          There is only one I can think of, library abuser Megan Fox’s BFF Kevin Dujan.

          • feministing

            whoa um. so i was a puma for like 2 weeks until i went to a republican event and had to go home, shower and repent for the following 24 hours. lost touch with this guy over the obvious and almost forgot his name since you just said it now. googled him and…he’s a trump supporter. wow. a gay, latino (i think?) trump supporter. 2008 was hard. it was hard on all of us. but i can’t even imagine what happened to him the past 8 years to end up like this. maybe he was always nutty to begin with and the campaign unleashed it? idk but this made me sad. i always remembered him as being a nice person.

    • Llareggub

      Were the PUMA’s mentioned across all the comedy shows? I didn’t remember it till I saw it mentioned a few months ago. I have a feeling that I will find a certain segment of Sanders supporters, (no one here) as memorable as Nader voters.

    • doktorzoom

      Some went on a personal vendetta against Jim Newell. With bad photoshops. It was ugly.

      • BloviateMe

        So there’s nothing Newell under the sun.

        Sorry…SORRY. I couldn’t help it. I feel bad.

        • doktorzoom

          Ouch. That’s gonna leave a welt.

    • limberrat

      Two words: Kevin Dujan.

  • Pinkham’s Law

    fEEL THE BENR OR RUN IT DOWN!!! wSHILLLLLIAR5Y IS A bought and pa8id f0r shill f0or WAll St4eet!!!! Fich this!
    Debbie Wasss3eerman Shlitws trr9ing to put q Cororate CanDiDat3 in, might aws w3ll vote TRrump!!!

    • Donkey Option

      Oh, there you are. We were worried something had happened.

    • Enfant Terrible

      Do you have to sleep in the day after these antics?

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Godyes. Brainhurt. Much.

        • Courser

          Thank you for your sacrifice.

    • starfanglednut

      Oh hello, unhinged Bernie bro. I missed you.

  • Enfant Terrible

    Huh. So on the eve of the last Super Tuesday of the primary season, AP and NBC call the primary for Hillary. This isn’t bad news, but the timing stinks to high heaven. It’s almost as if the media was trolling Bernie to goad him into ramping up the drama leading up to the convention.

    That being said, I was expecting to write this 24 hours from now – congratulations, Madame Secretary. The first female presidential candidate from a major party, and in 6 months, the first female president of America the Beautiful.

    • Courser

      Yeah, ain’t nobody happy about it. Bernie’s pissed for obvious reasons, Hillary’s people are afraid Dems in the remaining states won’t GOTV.

      But yes, I’m kind of in shock. Finally, we have a wonderful female presidential candidate who is fully qualified to follow is President Obama’s footsteps.

      But, yes, I am very, very relieved and happy that Secretary Clinton is the Democratic nominee for President of the United States. Drumph doesn’t stand a freaking chance once Hillz is done with him.

      • malsperanza

        Doubt the AP has that much clout.

  • Pinkham’s Law

    fUKCING CLINTON MACIN3 TRYOON TO ST3WEAL MORE DELEGTES!!

  • cousin itt

    AP announces it’s Hillary. Creates new high school course in advanced feminism.

    • BMW

      ISWYDT.

  • Pinkham’s Law

    Stole PeurtoR ico, TrYING F0R n3W jERS3Y nex!!!

    • malsperanza

      Pinkham! Where have you been?

      • sudden_eyes

        Waiting for this moment, apparently :)

        • cousin itt

          Tending the shrooms.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Around. You know how it is.

  • bluicebank

    Fortunately, most Californians don’t care about the once vaunted Associated Press.

    We will turn out tomorrow in record numbers, and regardless of the presidential primary, elect more Democrats down-ballot. GOTV.

    Having once been in the business, I can tell you that the AP (a consortium of news organizations of stringers who once spanned the globe), started falling in journalistic integrity in the 1990s, following the storied UPI. I recall getting into their grill back in the day when they decided that the new-fangled Photoshop was okay to use to manipulate photos, when the Orange County Register doctored two photos — once to make the sky more blue, one to smear out a Republican candidate’s dandruff.

    In media matters, it looks like Gannett, a killer of journalism which I once worked for before deciding that the pooch had been truly violated, is about to buy out the owner of the Los Angeles Times.

    So even IF the AP stumbled somehow into true journalism on this very subject, I would still point out that the mighty have fallen. It was a slippery slope when the L.A. bureau decided that doctoring photos was just fine, and my executive editor gave me shit for standing up on the issue.

    I was once on the inside, and you all wouldn’t believe the shit. Any Hillary supporter should already know that the MSN can be pretty mean. They’ll turn on her, too, as they often do. Make no mistake. Peace out.

    • berkeleyfarm

      well, it’s not like they haven’t been at it since about 1991, when Bill’s run started looking serious.

      • bluicebank

        Yep. The MSN has been horrific toward Bill and Hillary Clinton. Absolutely horrible. I recall that’s when Moveon started, to begin the movement against the GOP so weirdly focused on a blow job.

        I don’t trust the MSN, because I know they shit-canned the real journalists a long time ago. But the AP, back in my day, was seen as immune to bias. Shit, I even got a reward from the AP for being Johnny-on-the-spot about some terrorist shit going down (Libya, as I recall).

        But that was then. They ain’t shit, now.

        • berkeleyfarm

          Not talking about Bill, there.

    • anon_the_great

      You do know NBC ran an independent survey and came up with the same prediction?

    • Juan de Fuca

      Pretty sure that most of us in Cali have already mailed it in. Hillary and just as importantly to me – Kamala Harris.

      • bluicebank

        Yes, I’m voting for Kamala tomorrow. This will be the first time California sends two Democrats to the General (Sanchez being the second). Say goodnight, GOP.

        • JMP

          It’ll be a race between two Democrats, both of whom are women of color. That’s something to be proud of I’d say.

          • bluicebank

            That, too. I went down my ballot. Sanchez-v-Kamala was a bit hard, until I found out that Sanchez was an OC Dem who sometimes sided with the GOP in her House seat. Now Kamala is a Hillary supporter, but that ain’t no thang because she’s a Liberal anyhow.

            Anyway, Harris and Sanchez go on to November, and Kamala Harris becomes our next Senator. So it’s all good.

        • malsperanza

          Helllloooo Sunshine State! Yay for state electoral reform. Maybe those fucks in Orange County will finally figure out that the state is solid blue.

          Looking forward to the day yall shitcan Darryl Issa.

          • berkeleyfarm

            That last is going to be pretty hard. That congressional district is solid red – scared well-off white people in south Orange and north SD county. It’s going to have to be the district that cans him, he’ll never do anything statewide.

          • Juan de Fuca

            Yup. Darryl Issa’s district is mostly SD county. Orange County is a small part of the 49th. Some SD voters need to get their head out of their ass when it comes to that clown. No excuses.

          • berkeleyfarm

            Farmboy, brother of Farmgirl, lives in that small region. I joke that our parents have a matched set – boy, girl, OC republican, Berkeley democrat. ;)

          • malsperanza

            Hey a person can dream. Bernie Bros are not the only ones who can fantasize a magic handwave, ya know.

          • bluicebank

            The OC (aka the “Orange Curtain”) will not go quietly. But its growing Latino population will turn it, sooner rather than later.

            They have no idea, down in places like Newport Beach, that Santa Ana is lost to them.

          • Lamashtar

            Well…Santa Ana was half barrio 40 years ago when I was born there. I think they know.

    • JD Mulvey

      OMG! Whatever will Hills DO once “the media” turns on her?? Lol.

      • bluicebank

        Methinks the MSN will be conflicted (and they seem to be). They gave Trump one hell of a ride, they dissed Bernie, and they kept up the nonsense about Hillary’s emails/server.

        If there is any soul left in them, they will … ah, who am I kidding? They will continue to be ambulance chasers all their lives.

        • feministing

          i’ve been waiting for this moment to come. for the media to have to choose between sticking by their words (6 months of trump bashing) or their sexist lurid tendencies. i’m honestly not confident.

      • malsperanza

        She will be totally unprepared!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

        Poor Hillary. :-(

    • malsperanza

      Remember the days of blogs when idiots would post a comment that
      shouted First!!!? For no reason other than to be first to comment?

      In fairness, AP is just trying to be FIRST, which is a thing the mass media do and have always done.

      • feministing

        LOL great comparison

      • bluicebank

        Yeah, I do. But that nonsense started way back when we had three major networks, and you needed an antenna. Then CNN amped it up.

    • feministing

      if anything, i think this will make supporters on both sides more eager to get out and vote than before. but i’m relatively optimistic and kind, not deranged and unhinged so who knows where my life view fits in.

  • Pinkham’s Law

    fUCK THAT cUNT UP THE SSS with aLL the v0tes!!!!??@ Shes’ st#aling this ting! If it wasnt’ for th3 DNC and
    Debit WasssseRMANN Schlitz, Bernie W0uld hav3 thiws ibn the bag by no2!! Shrilliary Beloo0ngs to Wallll St33t! I’m voting D0nAld If tshe gets the DEM nOnkatoin!!! No diff3erenc3!!

    • I’m afraid to look at Twitter.

      • I Only Like Cats

        I mean, we can simulate it for you. No need to foray into the Bros Against People Who Don’t Vote How We Want Archery Club.

      • SisterArtemis

        ..

  • Be Gin

    Yo! Donnie Drump! Howza bout that! You might want to buy some new running shoes.

    Hillary is coming to getcha! She’s gonna put the electoral hurt on you! She’s gonna kick your puny dixie gonads so hard they’ll pop out of your nose! She’s gonna take your allegorical sack lunch and eat it in front of you. You are, poetically, toast!

    She may be small but she’s still the biggest bully on the block. You just set yourself up for a first class election smack-down Donnie! You sure ain’t going to like it…but the rest of us have been waiting for months for this to go down. Metaphorically speaking it couldn’t happen to a more deserving guy.

    See ya at the metaphysical trauma unit in November Donnie! Make sure your insurance is paid up. It would look bad if Obamacare had to pick up the tab for your upcoming electoral facial reconstruction.

    • Lamashtar

      In my head, this sounded like a hip hop hype man.

      • Be Gin

        I cannot presume to that status.

        But Donnie does give me the blooze.

  • Kevin Morin

    AP gives Bernie supporters a 24 hour head start on whining so that when the polls close tomorrow everyone can celebrate in relative peace.

    • feministing

      i think you may have hit the nail on the head, hilariously

  • ltmcdies

    well I am of the thought that it wouldn’t have hurt for AP to…wait 24 hours but it is what is..
    In honour of Mrs. Clinton’s accomplishment, I think I will leave this right here

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-m3Wb7dG80

    • RoyalUglyDude

      Luther for VP

    • berkeleyfarm

      That was beautiful. I’m still laughing

  • Pinkham’s Law

    How
    DARE
    Clint0n think that Th3yr’e leading jujst be

  • Pickwicknext
  • Vincent Ricola

    I hope Trump doesn’t get sent to fraud prison before the first debate. It will be a privilege to watch her embarrass him right in the feelings.

    • BloviateMe

      Embarrass Trump. I don’t think that’s possible. He’d sue his embarrassment if it ever happened, though.

    • sudden_eyes

      Nearly eight years ago (whoa!) someone quoted Joe Biden saying, of his upcoming debate with Sarah Palin, that he looked forward to the challenge – to which a commenter at I think DKos replied: “The only challenge is how he’s not going to look like he’s kicking a witless kitten around the stage.” … Am trying to come up with a similar analogy for this go-round. But I suspect Drumpf may duck the debates.

      • cynmac

        Ducking the Hillary debates would end it for him, after he ducked the debate with Bernie with the excuse that he’d be debating Hillary.

    • Mimihaha

      Not me. I hope he’s running from prison. Because that might make a one people stay home rather than vote for him.

    • Rufus T. Firefly

      Saaaay, you know who else ran from prison?

      Firefly 2016! Re-engreaten Freedonia!

      • malsperanza

        Ulysses Everett McGill, Pete Hogwallop, and and Delmar O’Donnell?

  • Pinkham’s Law

    OMG. WTF am I gonna do for the Unhinged BernieBro swansong? I – I’m not sure I can pull it off.

    • Jonny On Maui

      You’ll have to figure out how to write out a fake aneurism…

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Working on it.

        • Barley_Brains

          Eep opp ork ah-ah.

          • Kavefish

            “that means ‘I love you’!”

        • Donkey Option

          Wouldn’t that just sound like a Trump supporter?

          • Pinkham’s Law

            I * hope * I read more interestingly.

          • Donkey Option

            Of course you do. I just worry that Bernie Bros with aneurysms don’t.

    • Donkey Option

      You may have a couple months to prepare, depending on how quickly or if they get over this. I like the Bernie supporters who say “good game,” shake our hands, and plan to vote to Clinton in November. But there are some that will be crying foul for years.

    • Apple Scruff

      It looks like you’ll have some time to figure it out… convention’s over a month away and they ain’t going nowhere until at least then.

    • limberrat

      Go big or go home!

      • Pinkham’s Law

        HIS ITSN’T BIG?!?!!?!?!?

    • malsperanza

      We have confidence in you.

      Practice flouncing.

      • Zango LeHoonery

        Tomorrow’s drinking word- flouncing. I am going to flounce a bottle of whiskey. Hmmm. Needs work.

  • Adam Infanticide

    Yay! We won!! No need to bother voting tomorrow, fellow hillaryites!

    • berkeleyfarm

      I call shenanigans!

      Californians, get your butts out there, we have a Senator to select!

      • Jonny On Maui

        And judges to spank…

        • Pickwicknext

          Did you waggle your wig?

          • Jonny On Maui

            Isn’t the judge that presided over the Brock Turner fiasco on the ballot?

            I’m really not at all sure about this…

          • Pickwicknext

            Sorry- went with the the classic Python referece. How is your house?!?!

          • Jonny On Maui

            {sigh}

            So today first thing even before the house is going up the hill there’s a car crash on the road, minor injury, blocking both lanes, takes 2 tow trucks to clear. That gets cleared and another truck coming down the road as part of the house is going up stalls in the middle of the road and won’t start. That get’s pushed to the side and they finally get up the road and to the site. The second piece has the same luck as the first and a project that was supposed to take one day will now take two. Ans as soon as I’m done eating that’s what I’m gonna do. Take two, double up on the night meds and follow it all up with a bonghammer.

            As of late this afternoon… Thank you for asking!

          • Pickwicknext

            Wow! That’s insane! I will say nothing to tempt the wrath of whatever from high atop the thing upon you!

          • Jonny On Maui

            Thank you. Twas a trying day. Tomorrow’s gonna be another fun one…

          • Pickwicknext

            Tomorrow i will play you “Everything is Awesome!”

          • Jonny On Maui

            Looking forward to it.

          • kaw143

            That … sounds expensive. Or did they contract the JOB, and not the hours? (I seem to recall that ours was just the job, but ours went in like it knew what it was doing and there were no surprises, or anything. Not that I’m trying to rub it in.)

          • Jonny On Maui

            The job is contracted so no added costs. It’s just getting the pieces in place. Hooking it all together should go pretty quick.

          • kaw143

            That’s the most amazing bit. Well, the weird little remote-control house drones that manouver the pieces into place are pretty cool, too.

            Once we get the property next door paid off, which is the land with the better view, I’m hoping to get us a new place, and set this one up as an In-Law house. FUCK YOU, DAD! YOU CAN STARE AT THE ROAD! I’ll be looking at the water! I’m a good son.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Ah yes! The in law house or Ohana, as it is known here and just about every lot has one.

            We’re not building one. We’ll have a large porch and much room for friends. Outside of my sister, relatives can rent a room at a hotel or motel.

          • BloviateMe

            Well that sounds frustrating as hell. Sorry.

          • JohnW

            He is and he ought to see his career end……with votes

          • Jonny On Maui

            Please make it so!

          • kaw143

            I banged me little gavel, just like that.

          • The Wanderer

            Ever so slightly. Stunning effect.

    • Sardonicuss

      That’s not the call sign:
      Thunder!

    • BloviateMe

      Hmmm…

    • JMP

      But thanks to voting by mail, I already voted in tomorrow’s primary!

      • BloviateMe

        Not voting by mail is so (adjusts monocle) pedestrian.

      • berkeleyfarm

        I delivered my ballot yesterday.

    • ginpac

      I want BS to later feel ashamed that he used all that money that came from his many, many unemployed peeps on gas money driving around my state screaming about Hillary when he could have donated it Job Corps or Salvation Army (or the Clinton Foundation.)

      • Lamashtar

        Is that actually legal?

      • malsperanza

        Or, youknow, defeating the GOP.

  • Mimihaha

    I have been yelling Donald Fucking Trump at people for week s. In fact, there’s someone at work who owes me big time who insists she can’t possibly vote for Hillary. This is how I am calling in my favor– I am working blinking nights for her, she can hold her nose and vote for Mrs Clinton in November.

  • BloviateMe

    $10 says that Trump reiterates that Bernie should run as an indy by Friday.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      I will not take that bet.

    • Juan de Fuca

      Raise you $10 and says he does it on Twitter by 3am, tomorrow.

      • kaw143

        Is that 3am your time, or 3am in some other time? We’re a world-wide snark mob, after all.

    • bookish

      Trump is whispering in his ear right now.

    • JohnW

      If Bernie decides to run as an independent, can he be sued (I know it’s a trumpism) for taking DNC money and mailing lists etc etc etc? And besides, isn’t it too late to get on the actual ballots?

      • I Only Like Cats

        I think there are state laws against indie runs after being in a party primary, but I’m not sure about the legality where finances are concerned.

        • Chris

          Some yes and it is already to late to get on some ballots. Big ticket states like Texas.

      • BloviateMe

        That’s a great question, and I’m far too dumb to know that, but now I’m curious.

      • cynmac

        Actually, most states have “Sore Loser” laws that prevent someone who was in the primary from running as an Independent in the general. Plus, also too, it is too late to get on many states’ ballots because of missed deadlines, which is why no one from the GOP is running as an Independent to spoil Drumpf.

        • JohnW

          Thank you! I knew someone in this illustrious group would be smarter than I ?

          • cynmac

            Not smarter, just paying attention.

        • Lizzietish81

          Won’t stop him from complaining about it though.

  • Pinkham’s Law

    tHIS IS JUST ANOTH ER EXAMPLL3 OF THE establiSHM3NT h0LDING THE Lin3 for there Fav0ri3 can’D”IAte’11111 They wanna pus the Hioliary 0v3r Breni3 “THING for ev3r, but we Al kno Bernie is th3 ch0pince fo the ppeeeole!!@!!@@!21

    • JohnC44

      You may want to seek medical attention as soon as possible…it appears you’re suffering a stroke.

      • Tio_Doidinho

        Try to think of it as a drag act.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          What a drag it is…

    • Marion in Savannah

      Ms. Sarandon, your constant ranting here is becoming somewhat tiresome.

  • shastakoala

    I’m going to the mountains tomorrow. Iffy WIFI. At least I know how this chapter ends. Can’t wait for the epilogue.

  • I Only Like Cats

    ALL 3,000,000 EXTRA VOTES FOR SHILLARY AREFROM BRAINWASHED DOLTS OR BRIBES. SHE HAS CleaRYL PREFRECTED MIND cONTROL TECHNOLOGY!!22%!!!!

    • beavertank

      MK Ultra works!

      • Jonny On Maui
        • kaw143

          Say, Jonny, have you mentioned how the Great House Adventure went?

          • Jonny On Maui

            Downthread, thanks for asking!

          • Pickwicknext

            I beat you to it!

          • kaw143

            Well, do we know how it went?

          • Pickwicknext

            Roll on down…

    • malsperanza

      Black and brown voters are all LOW INFORMATION VOTERS, alsotoo.

      • Lizzietish81

        Seriously one of my friends, who is black, has actually said this. I can’t roll my eyes enough

        • malsperanza

          Well, all voters are low-information voters, if it comes to that. People generally vote from within their own experience and/or they vote their ideals. Of the two, I think the latter is a dumber move, but neither is a sign of ignorance.

    • Lizzietish81
      • The Wanderer

        ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD.

  • splashy79

    She will do better than so many. Hands down. I’m looking forward to her going after Trump.

    • Lamashtar

      Yeah, I think she’s got a lot of anger to let out on his butt..

  • I Only Like Cats

    GRAB YOUR “”HUTNING” GUNZ BROS, WE’R3 GOIN TO REVULT FROM TH1S TYRNNAY (with VOTEZ!!!!!!)

  • Callyson

    FUCK!

    Mind you, we Californians already knew that the get-out-the-vote drive was going to be hard in the evening, when New Jersey’s polls closed. But now we will have to spend THE ENTIRE FUCKING DAY begging and pleading with voters that they still need to vote?

    Dammit, I want to be happy that my candidate won, but now my job tomorrow is going to be even harder than I thought FFS…

    • ltmcdies

      maybe remind them a solid Clinton win in Cali makes it “things” clearer for a certain Vermont senator….(it won’t help with the Bros but what would)

      • Callyson

        Oh, honey, I will definitely do so. I hope that convinces people!

      • Calton

        Trying for a solid Clinton win is certainly why I sent in my absentee ballot from Japan. Not to mention the down-ballot races like Senator.

        Not that it will make a difference in the Bernie Math, where you count some delegates some times and not at other times, whichever is most convenient.

    • berkeleyfarm

      Strength to your sword arm, sister!

    • Suttree

      I live in New Jersey and I’m still going to vote tomorrow. I’ll be voting for Sanders (please don’t yell at me!) in the primary even though Hillz is WAY ahead in the polls, and then I’ll vote Hillz in the general. I’ll once again remind everyone that I have voted for Bernie in the past, having lived in Vermont for years, so please don’t yell at me.

      • kaw143

        ATTACK! WRONGTHINK! DOUBLEPLUSUNGOOD!

        j/k, j/k smileyface

      • Callyson

        I think if I were in the Garden State I would be even more pissed. At least for us, we knew we would have this problem–we just didn’t know it would be for the entire day. Jersey people, OTOH, have been handed this problem at the last fucking minute FFS…

        • Suttree

          Eh, I already knew Bernie wouldn’t win the nomination, so it doesn’t really bother me. I will be totally excited to vote for Hillz in the general though! We need her!

          • Callyson

            IMHO, primaries are where you vote your heart, so I’m not even miffed that you are doing so. The important thing is you are joining us in the general, and I look forward to uniting in November!

          • kaw143

            Last time around, I voted for Obama, figuring that I would vote for Hillary in the general. I was all, like, “WHOA!” when things turned out the way they did.

      • Spotts1701

        S’cool, man. You’re not going on about tin-foil nuttery, so you’re in the sane part of the group.

      • Jonny On Maui

        Oh we’ll yell at you, just not for that.

        YOU BETTER BE TAKING VERY GOOD CARE OF ONE OF WONKETTE’S BEST OR WE’LL ALL BE AFTER YOUR ASS!!!

        • Suttree

          I am! I am! I swear! I keep buying her wonkette swag also, too. Although I am still waiting on my Election The Game cards. I got two sets.

          • Jonny On Maui

            GOOD! Don’t make us find you…

          • kaw143

            I just the Early Bird special. I kinda’ wanted the extra special run, but I was kinda strapped, that month.

        • Lizzietish81

          He got me a Hillary t shirt from Wonkette.

          The material is really soft

      • Chris

        Vote as you will, then come join us and we can all talk meanly about Mr. Trump.

      • Juan de Fuca

        O/T – What region of Jersey?

        • Suttree

          Ahhhh, trying to get close to me so you can Hillghazi me in my sleep!?! J/K Essex County, about 12 miles from Manhattan. It’s actually really nice, the town I live in anyway. Not that I mind hanging out in Newark though.

          • Juan de Fuca

            Ha! Nah mate. Was born and raised mostly in South Jersey is all. Most of my fam is back there, with a Mom and one brother down in N.C. Jersey is a crazy place, isn’t it?

          • Suttree

            Ah, I see. Yeah, Jersey is pretty weird. I lived here as a child for 7 years until sophomore year in high school, and then moved to Vermont to live with my father. I just moved back 2 years ago, and am actually really enjoying it. I’ve only ever lived in Essex, but it seems to me that once you get down to south Jersey it tends to turn rather red.

          • The Wanderer

            I’m originally from Passaic County, myself.

          • Suttree

            My last two jobs were in Clifton and Paterson, and I’m pretty close to Little Falls.

    • bluicebank

      Oh Callyson. You and I can already feel the excitement in our state. All I have to do tomorrow is drive around in my totally cool Baja Bug with its Bernie stickers, wearing my banned Wonkette Bernie shirt, and I be like James Dean.

      Despair not. As you know, we Californians don’t care what others say. We got the mojo rising. We always have. Peace out.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=068P7im2Tuo

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      and yet the Bernouts are convinced that this is a plot on her part

    • Bemused

      I swear I will go vote. I even researched the state assembly peoples for my district.

    • anon_the_great

      If you have to beg those voters ain’t worth the phone call.

      • Callyson

        Perhaps, but at this point I’m not inclined to be picky FFS.

    • malsperanza

      I’m not there, but my impression is that CA is fired up. Being preempted by the AP is surely only going to piss people off.

      OTOH, if Bernie does better than expected, we can always take a page from his playbook and whine that the Hillary voters were suuuuuuppppreeeeesssssed by the evil Meeeeeeedia.

      I’m sure the Bernie voters will be totes sympathetic.

  • Pickwicknext

    So….how unhinged will Rush be tomorrow? Will he finally rant himself into significant speech centre brain damage?

    • beavertank

      Nah, there’s no way I could ever be that lucky.

    • bluicebank

      I’m fortunate enough to be so old that “Rush” means the late 1970s commercial band that we had hope for, because Styx had its day in the sun already.

      • kaw143

        You’re just fooling yourself. It’s just a grand illusion. Let’s get together and mutulize our attitudes.

    • kaw143

      His excuse hasn’t been significant speech center brain damage all along?

    • Chris

      I’m pretty certain that he is more concerned that he is losing the big talk station in Boston and is only maintaining the Boston market by going to the ‘boo boo’ AM station that rates behind 3 public access stations. Moving from a 50,000 watt station to a 5,000 watt station that doesn’t cover all of Boston. Hehehehehe

  • Donkey Option

    Okay everyone, goodnight! I’m going to get some sleep. I’m fasting tomorrow for the first day of Ramadan, so wish me luck (only one day since I’m doing this out of moral support and not religious obligation.) I’m glad these comments actually are pretty peaceful, but I kind of look forward to coming back here in the morning to 500 new comments because some jerks get this link and decide to descend. Good luck to those who will be here to combat them.

    • SisterArtemis

      combat them? we’ll be laughing!

    • Zango LeHoonery

      Very nice of you to join in the fast. I promise to be the yin to all your yang and drink twice as much during the day. Molotov!

    • Teecha

      Ramadan kareem. (Although Ramadan began yesterday- 6th June.)

    • YayConspiracy

      Mubarak ramadan!

    • Hijabi Rockstar

      Ramadan kareem! I am *not* fasting this Ramadan (I’m traveling), and I’m pretty relieved. I mean, Allah knows best, but fasting blows. Food is amazing.

  • zerosumgame0005

    FYI when I vote tomorrow I will be writing in DONNA ROSE WONKETTE_BABBY! I look forward to the photo ops with her in her lion costume wrestling Putin to the carpet in the Oval Office!

    • Suttree

      I wouldn’t let Putin near her! She might catch some sort of virus!

      • zerosumgame0005

        good point!

    • kaw143

      That’s a good point. I suppose her last name is “Pixel”, unless of course they decided to hyphenate. Then again, “Donna Rose Pixel-Shoenkopf” sounds like the heroine of a Regency novel, one that understands, as a matter of practicality, that a gentleman with money must, of necessity, be in want of an estate.

      • SisterArtemis

        I envision our Babby Overlord as more of a Lady Mormant of Bear Mountain (or whatever the hell that kickass kid was called last night in Westoros-ville). Donna Rose, of course, is more adorable, but then she doesn’t have the weight of a kingdom on her shoulder yet.

        • Suttree

          Ha! I was actually thinking the exact same thing. Only Donna Rose will have many more then 62 soldiers to spare.

          • SisterArtemis

            Yeah, but they were WORTH 620 DUDES! Right?

            I thought to myself, well, they were hoping for thousands, right? bummer, Sansa…

          • Suttree

            I’m actually almost starting to like Sansa now. Gah! She was soooo whiny before.

          • BloviateMe

            God that’s funny, I remember last season thinking “just die Sansa, you’re like Costanza’s parents, you’re boring and ruin the flow of the show.”

        • kaw143

          Oh! So that’s what that other GoT comment was all about.

          I’m usually a few weeks behind on the GoT.

  • Spotts1701

    God, my friend has gone all in. He honestly and sincerely believes that the media was afraid their whole “suppress the Bernie vote” wasn’t going to work, so they called it tonight to shore up their narrative.

    • I Only Like Cats

      Hahaha, if the media could lie to themselves about Trump they’d support Bernie until he got the nomination. Right now keeping Trump out of the white house is more important than their sexism (yet all of them have said nary a good word about her, except for maybe John Oliver).

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      do these people not understand that the most likely result of making that announcement would be to discourage Clinton voters, who no longer have to worry about showing up since she clinched the nom? C’mon Bernouts, at least make sure your wild assed conspiracy theories have internal logic…

      • Suttree

        But it’s a conspiracy! Internal logic is not required.

      • zerosumgame0005

        not me, going first thing :)

      • feministing

        no, no they don’t

    • limberrat

      My distant cousins are all Sanders supporters and are completely freaking out over the announcement.

      • Suttree

        One of my close cousins is constantly berniebroing it up on fb. I ignore it because I love him and he is still young.

      • orygoon

        Your distant cousins and mine are probably the same people. That would make you and me real-distant cousins.

        • limberrat

          LoL. Do they all live in the Bay Area?

    • Jenny

      I’m the most liberal person on my faceplace. The only one unhinged is the same one that’s always unhinged!

  • Jennifer R

    There now let’s all have a deep breath, put our big girl panties back on and focus on beating trump yes?

    • Spotts1701

      Too late – panic button pushed.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Do I have to wear the panties? I can focus without ’em, I swear…

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Today you have allowed corruption to take over the party. You have denied the revolution it’s rightful place and yet the revolution is not finished. The media is lying and this is not over. Oh no, Shillary Killaryites, not at all. This shitty website and all of you fucktards will be held liable for the revolution. You whores and your terrible, criminal candidate will suffer first. You call use Berniebros but we are Che Guevara! It’s not over, the super delegates and not the voters will decide this election which is the will of the electorate. Fuck you and your email whore of the 1% and the corporations!

    • malsperanza

      From here on, we have to go with Hillghazi McEmails or it doesn’t count.

    • Spotts1701

      Didn’t Che beg for his life before he was captured?

      • kaw143

        Don’t Che know?

    • Suttree

      Still only one word misspelled and not quite enough impotent rage we love so much. A good effort though.

      • pianoplayer1

        Plus, one punctuation error.

        • Suttree

          Don’t tell me it’s a comma! I was taught how to use commas differently, as a child, than whateverthefuck the rules are now.

          • BloviateMe

            Me, too.

          • Suttree

            At this point, I just put them wherever the fuck I want. I’m not being graded on my non-existent comments by my comma usage. At least, that’s what I tell myself, when I’m drunk.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

          • Lamashtar

            At this point, I’ve had grammar revolutionaries argue at me that grammar rules are killing the natural evolution of language, so I don’t worry about it so much.

          • Suttree

            I never cared much for grammar. I was raised by an English major who would verbally correct me constantly, but refused to assist me with my homework because that wasn’t “his job”. I couldn’t tell you what a gerund is, having learned by rote as opposed to ever having understood the exact function. I tried reading one of Chomsky’s books on linguistics when I was in college, but that didn’t go far. I generally just write like I speak and throw some commas, and exclamation points in there!!!! I’m more of a geometry and algebra kinda guy as I use it for metals fabrication.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            The commateriat will get after you.

          • Suttree

            I hope that my personality will assist me while being judged upon my poor punctuation.

    • Manhattan123

      Not enough cap letters and exclamation points!!!!!1!

    • CJTX

      Dude, you had me fish hooked up until “whores” and then I noticed the name of the poster…nicely done!

    • Marion in Savannah

      Needs MUCH moar misspelled words, random caps lock, and weird punctuation.

  • BloviateMe

    Is it just me, or is primary season the only time you can use the word “presumptive” and not sound like a bit of a douche?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      For Drumpf, I like to use “presumptuous”.

  • WhyFelicia

    You guys, I just realized that I am surrounded by Bernie Bros. I am married to one.

    • Pickwicknext

      Withold sex until it comes to its senses?

      • WhyFelicia

        Well, we are married, so there is no sex.

        • Jonny On Maui

          Not even hallway sex? Saying ‘fuck you’ to each other as you pass in the hallway?

          Sorry, I don’t know who I stole that from…

    • cynmac

      My BF is a Libertarian and plans to vote for Gary Johnson. Feel your pain.

      • WhyFelicia

        I have one of those friends on Facebook. I have noticed that no one really likes any of his posts anymore.

        • cynmac

          He’s rather stealth and he did accept a Bernie button from me, gracefully even.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Gary Johnson is hysterical. I’d never vote for him in a million years, but i don’t think even Gary Johnson takes Gary Johnson seriously

      • SayItWithWookies

        “Weed will be legal — you’ll just have to fight to the death for it.” Yeah, I think that’s the philosophy to base a thriving civilization on.

      • JH Marx

        Saw him on newshour. His eyes aren’t at all crazy.

    • BloviateMe

      Could be worse. I just found out yesterday that the daughter’s BF is a Trumpanzee (from seeing his post on facebook). It sucks because I like the kid. I’ve decided to not talk about it.

      • WhyFelicia

        Oh, dude. That really sucks.

      • Suttree

        An ex-girlfriend of mine who I’m still good friends with started out the election cycle not knowing whether she would vote Bernie or Trump (don’t ask me, IDK) then voted for Trump in the Georgia primary because her parents were voting that way. This is after me spending an hour explaining their differences and her liking Sanders better. SMH At least she has the decency to stfu about it now.

      • Greg Comlish

        You could at least have the talk with your daughter. I mean, honestly, Trump is a magnet for authoritarian men who crave dominance and authority. He has no coherent ideology and isn’t a political leader as much as a symbol of white male defiance of a politically correct culture. The people I know who support him are redpill/MRA types obsessed with social dominance and dominance over women in particular.

        • BloviateMe

          Nahh…he’s 18, his dad died 2 months ago, and he was raised by right wingers. It could be his last “huzzah” to his dad, for all I know. He’s a good kid, has a good heart (wants to be a paramedic to help people). He’s just young and dumb and tilts to family. I wouldn’t let the daughter date a fuckhead.

          In any case, it’s Oregon, his vote won’t mean shit, and if he sticks around, I have 4 years to work on him (even in a mail-in state, I assume kids are too lazy to vote mid-term).

          • Jonny On Maui

            One by one, bring them into the light…

    • Jonny On Maui

      Both the Ms. and I are bernie folk. Just rare sane ones like most here.

      Hillz it is. Let’s tromp on trump.

      • WhyFelicia

        Not just Bernie people. Bros. They don’t shut up. I was an early Bernie supporter, but I know when to cut my losses and move on.

      • SisterArtemis

        Bernie folks are solid. Bernie Bros, including the girl ones, are bothersome.

    • Enfant Terrible

      Mrs. Terrible voted for Bernie. I voted for Hillary. No big. We still hold hands.

      • BloviateMe

        …just not each other’s.

        BOOM HA!!!

    • SayItWithWookies

      One of my best friends has always disliked Hillary’s stances on military intervention and corporate regulation, and liked Bernie — pretty much like me, but he’s not interested in voting if it has to be for Hillary.

      I’m trying two approaches — the first is asking him if he’ll at least vote, even if it’s for that Green Party candidate whose name I can’t remember — oh wait — Jill Stein. The other part of this campaign involves noting that Obama wouldn’t’ve been nearly so interested in affordable healthcare if not for Hillary and her campaign in 2008.

      I’m hoping these sort of knit together over time, but I’m not gonna blame myself if it doesn’t work either. But I’ve got five months so I think the chances for a low-key approach are good.

      • Suttree

        I voted Obama in Vermont in 2008, but lived in Louisiana in 2012 and voted Jill Stein, if only to give support for a third party candidate in a state that was definitely going for Romney.

        • SayItWithWookies

          Hell, I voted for Nader in 2000, but at that point Al Gore wasn’t going to win my state, and if Gore somehow managed not to fuck up running for president by running away from everything good Bill Clinton did over the previous eight years, he needed to know that some folks thought his campaign issues were fucking timid.

          But first, my state’s in play this year; and second, there’s no fucking way I’m going to go through anything like the last time we elected a fucking Republican who had daddy issues, more money than sense and a 400-word vocabulary. No. Fucking. Way.

          • cynmac

            Trump has mommy issues also too.

          • Jonny On Maui

            The one truth Trump could spout all day long…

            “I’ve got YOUUGGGEEE!!!! issues…”

          • BloviateMe

            Classiest issues I ever saw, though.

          • kaw143

            Oh, but the second Bush was a Rhodes scholar! (That’s what my mom tells me, anyway.)

          • SayItWithWookies

            Really, that must’ve been a pure act of love on his daddy’s part — those Rhodes scholarships are expensive, and they’re clearly not evidence of intellectual rigor.

            And yes, scholarships can be expensive — half a gym, a hospital wing, etc. But it’s daddy’s money, so who cares.

          • The Wanderer

            Nope. Commander Codpiece wasn’t a Rhodes scholar.

      • kaw143

        Is it Jill Stein, again? BUT, MOOOOOOOOM!

        • SayItWithWookies

          No dessert until you eat your Jill Stein.

          Wait, that just sounds wrong.

          • kaw143

            Nevertheless, I’m intrigued. Go on.

    • bluicebank

      It’s OK. My best friend is a Canadian. We were even married.

      She has Justin Trudeau over me on the homeland, and all I got is a guy from the ’60s whom the Chicago PD rousted.

    • Lamashtar

      It could be worse. My spouse and I both started out as Liberal Republicans. I lean toward Dems now because I care about civil rights. He prefers Republicans who offer more money to the military (we make money when the military does). He doesn’t like the Clintons and didn’t like Obama. He voted for Bush. We can barely talk about politics.

      • Suttree

        Ugh. I dated a woman in Louisiana for 6 years that had a picture of her sister with GWB and thought Chimpy was GREAT. We started dating right before Obama’s election and she thought ethnic slurs and pictures of watermelons in “the White House fridge” were high humor. She finally relented with that shit when I started walking out and not talking to her for weeks at a time. I think that she has gotten better, but she may just be hiding it. At the very least, I don’t have to hear it anymore.

  • Greg Comlish

    Congratulations to Hillary and her supporters. Solid campaign.

    Eventually I’ll be able to vote in my primary, and I’ll still cast my wholly symbolic ballot for Bernie, but obviously Hillary already won so I’m ready to get on board. I dearly hope that Hillary will fuck up Trump left and right and not fucking relent. I’m just praying she doesn’t pull some Al Gore/John Kerry dickless bullshit and get all offended and then plead with America’s better instincts.

    I also hope that Nate fucking Silver finally gets the post-primary polls he needs so he can start telling it to me straight. I’m seriously sick of his NBA analysis and his bullshit pre-gaming about which pollsters are more reliable. I don’t care about the down-in-the-weeds details. I just want his hardcore analysis, his estimate of underlying probability, and the uncertainty of his estimate.

    • SisterArtemis

      Well, given THEY had the dicks, and SHE probably doesn’t (maybe a drawer-ful, but not the built in kind), maybe being dickless isn’t the negative we’ve been thinking it is.

    • cousin itt

      Nate’s hardcore straight analysis will not be able to drive the ball into the hole. He’s not that creative.

      Hillary proved this week she will take no prisoners. Gore and Kerry were good candidates, but Hillary 2.0 could be the awesome.

      • Greg Comlish

        I’m not sure I follow your golfing metaphor and I do not share your appraisal of Gore and Kerry, but I hope you’re right about Hillary.

        • cousin itt

          It wasn’t about golf. More about balls in holes as per Wonkette norms.

    • Markuserektus

      It seems a waste, her lawyerese versus Drumpf’s fourth grade rhetoric.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        He knows his audience.

  • cousin itt

    In the final analysis at the end of the day once it is all said and done and the sky has cleared and all the ducks are in a row and all the cows have come home.

    Our hopes and dreams win or lose elections and our candidates, merely our existential emissaries.

    • thenearesthippie

      Can’t argue with that.

  • bluicebank

    California desert rat chiming in again. Just made a late night beer run in the Baja Bug (a, as I’m often reminded, a magnet for dudes and dudettes, also Germans). Bernie stickers front and back, 2110 cc hot rod engine, primer rat rod.

    A couple of young dudes hanging out at the Circle K. Give me the a-okay on the Bernie. I soft-sell them on voting tomorrow. Dude 1 says most def. Second dude gives me a “maybe,” and so I give him the soft “don’t disappoint your father” look. He demurs.

    Coming out the store with my Mexican beer (because fuck Trump), another young dude notices my Wonkette t-shirt, Bernie For the Future. Dude was down with it.

    I should probably spin donuts at the polling place tomorrow. (jes kidding, ha ha)

    • phoenix00
      • bluicebank

        blasphemer!

        ;-)

        • phoenix00

          tomorrow? :D

          • bluicebank

            Tomorrow never comes, in regards to all the things I have to do with the Baja Bug. But it will get me to the polling place, and then I’ll have some sushi with a Canadian.

          • phoenix00

            Sounds like a plan

      • Jonny On Maui

        I’m just stoned enough for that photo to cause a slight bit of nausea…

      • Lamashtar

        Rubber side goes DOWN.

        • phoenix00

          Only in theory….

      • Suttree

        What was that from? I watched a television show at some point with this in it.

    • Suttree

      I have always wanted a Baja Bug! I was lucky enough to pick up a ’76 Bus with a 2200cc when I was in my teens. It looked pretty similar to this only the paint wasn’t quite as nice and it had a roof rack. This is also less snow than I had on the ground, when I had to pull the engine to replace a burned out clutch, because my Bus was an off-road Bus. What? It had a lot of clearance!

      • Lamashtar

        People tell me they’re deathtraps. :(

        • Suttree

          That is why you build a roll cage for it! I can’t imagine a front end collision at highway speed in a bus though. There isn’t anything there! I lacked a speedometer, odometer, and gas gauge also, too. It made traveling the country as a stoned, tripping teenager rather interesting. I’m a pretty good judge of miles traveled and actual speed rates now. I kept a notepad to keep mile markers and time traveled to figure speed and estimated gas consumption.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Like piloting an airliner … in the event of an accident, you’re the first one to get there. Not even an engine between you and whatever you bang into.

      • bluicebank

        If you want one, take some advice: Buy one that some other dude has already made.

        I built mine from scratch. While I can appreciate that, trust me, it’s very hard to revive those things. Better to strip it to the frame. OR, find someone who already went there.

        • Suttree

          I totally agree! I have a few thousand dollars worth of tools, but I would need at least $5,000 more to do such a thing. And a shop. And I would need to be much more wealthy, as I am scraping ends right now. I have a lot of the skills needed (and I can figure out the rest that I don’t have), but I cannot even imagine the amount of time that it takes. I have to either win the lottery or wait 20 years to do it myself. It is just a dream at this point, but a nice happy dream. I just love tinkering and building things.

          • bluicebank

            You can get a Baja Bug fairly cheap, at least in SoCal.

            Unfortunately, I went the hard way. I spent ungodly amounts of money on my Baja, and am still working on the custom mesquite wood panel. At least the engine and everything else are tip top. But dang if that thing isn’t a bit loud over 55mph.

  • Pickwicknext

    Ok. On all the good notes tonight, i am off to sleep!

    • Jonny On Maui

      Have a good night!

  • Lamashtar

    I kinda wish the stupid AP had held off a day til people voted. Its not as exciting when a newsperson goes “OH BY THE WAY”..

  • Well, I popped over to my FacePlace and checked in on my BernieBro friends. It seems there’s some sort of widespread problem causing the Caps Lock and exclamation keys to stick. It’s affecting a lot of people!

    I think maybe I’ll wait till tomorrow night to post any celebratory statuses.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Give ’em something to rant all night about and maybe they’ll be tired and quite tomorrow…

      • kaw143

        Just how strong is that brand of yours, there, Jonny?

        • Jonny On Maui

          I’m hitting the indica hard but my edge has not blunted.

          I was going to change it to dulled but blunted works better…

          • kaw143

            Yes. Yes, it does.

      • puipui

        Just let them cry it out, they’ll be all right. Maybe pat them on the back with a quiet “there, there” sometimes.

    • kaw143

      I didn’t mention it around the house. Let’s let her have another night.

    • anon_the_great

      Over the months I thought my Bernie Buds passionate but not insane, hateful folk. Man, was I wrong.

      • I honestly feel like some of my friends joined a cult. The Cult of Bernie. These were not insane, hateful folk. I find it hard to reconcile these people, many of whom were strong Obama supporters, with the people yelling “bern the witch” in all caps about the woman who’s essentially running as Obama’s 3rd term. But they’re the same people. It’s really weird.

        I hid most of the obnoxious Berners from my Facebook feed because I couldn’t take it anymore (with the exception of the guy calling for Hillary to be raped and beheaded. Him I unfriended). I’m hoping things will cool down and I can eventually unhide them. But if tonight is anything to go by, it’ll be awhile.

  • kaw143

    OH, THANK GOD!

    Thank you, thank you AP!

    Sincerely,

    All of the livers of Wonkette

    • Jonny On Maui

      XD

    • Suttree

      Assuming your liver hasn’t already escaped and is living in a bunker in Colorado with your pancreas.

      • kaw143

        It’s been threatening. Fucker’s been leaving death threats on post-its all over the house.

    • pstockholm

      #wonketteliversmatter.

      (Hope there’s nothing in the rules about recycling old jokes that were weak to begin with.)

      • kaw143

        We are liberal. We love recycling.

    • SayItWithWookies

      “The next cultural war will not determine which livers are white, but which livers are left.”
      — Nobody, ever

  • Made.In.Detroit

    Goodbye Democrat party after 22 years and lots of volunteering over the years. I am not a Hilary fan nor am I a Bernie Bros. I just am not a fan of Hilary and wished for better candidates like Warren would have ran instead. Not sure who i will vote for but sure as hell not Hilary.

    • Awesome Man

      Any vote that you make that isn’t for Clinton and therefore helps Donald Trump to win this election is, quite frankly, irresponsible and short-sighted.

      With issues like climate change, supreme court openings, the future of social security and other safety nets…we cannot survive a Trump presidency. I would think this is obvious.

      • feministing

        but but but he doesnt liiiiiiike herrrrrrrrrrrrr

        • Made.In.Detroit

          If you’re a fan of her volunteer, make calls, donate, and whatever you feel you can do to help. But just understand there are going to be Democrats who are not a fan of Hillary for various reasons.

          • feministing

            yes yes but these same democrats just love liz warren. we know. we know the drill. still not losing sleep over it no matter how much or how timidly people like you try to fear monger. as for the first part: done, done and done!

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            Hillz in the White House, Liz an ally in the Senate – sounds like a team I can live with. Especially when you consider the alternative, which is Drumpf teamed up with the Teatard GOP House.

          • Astraea

            No doubt when she runs they’ll find reasons to dislike her, too.

          • kaw143

            But, presumably these “Democrats” are still fans of Democrats?

            Perhaps you should have supported Martin O’Malley a bit more enthusiastically.

          • katz

            Various reasons, none of which have anything to do with her gender, I’m sure.

          • Made.In.Detroit

            No I would have preferred Elizabeth Warren, Amy Klobuchar, or Claire McCaskill over her nomination.

          • Bad Granny

            Oh look! It can use Google but it still doesn’t know the difference between a Democrat and the Democratic Party.

          • Made.In.Detroit

            I’m sorry if I always have called it Democrats and Republicans my whole life plus I use voice dictation software to answer. I have been a fan of this site for two years and will continue to. I first heard about the site from watching Rachel Maddow show in 14 with the story of them calling out the protestors of child immigrants. Not everyone loves Hillary nor feels she is going to win over undecided voters when the mud gets slung. I did my part and volunteered for Obama and other candidates I felt passion for. I saw a side of her in that campaign I did not like when she stayed in way longer than she should. I was hoping the Biden-Warren ticket was true before he decided not to run. If that was the ticket I would feel passion to do what I could.

          • Bad Granny

            So you don’t like Hillary, but you lurve Claire McCaskill, the founder of Ready for Hillary PAC.

          • Kavefish

            But Biden-Warren is not the ticket, will not be the ticket.

            Passion is malleable. Find something about a Clinton nomination you can get passionate about and hold onto that, then.

            If you need some help, here’s a few:

            1.) First female president
            2.) Also, too, someone motivated to upend the Citizens United ruling
            3.) A president who will appoint liberal Supreme Court judges
            4.) A president familiar to world leaders, and popular with their citizens

            There are more, if you care to look.

          • katz

            And you have black friends!

          • Bad Granny

            This guy’s a Democrat like I’m a cat. To remove any ambiguity, I am not a cat.

          • MissNomer

            No!!!! Really!!!?! I have never seen a person who dislikes her!

            /s

    • Jonny On Maui

      You must like abuse…

      • kaw143

        Every time, it’s the same: “I’ve voted Democratic since 1467, but this Hillary bitch is just TOO MUCH!”

        Y’know something? What kind of Democrat didn’t know that Hillary would be a Presidential candidate in 1992? What kind of Democrat doesn’t know that she almost secured the nomination in 2008? What kind of Democrat couldn’t imagine her victory in a primary where her only serious competition isn’t a fucking Democrat?

        • Jonny On Maui

          puipui nailed it…

          • kaw143

            Indeed.

            Also, too, I mixed tenses in my comment, but I’m going to blame you for giving me a contact high.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Put your lips up to the screen…

        • anon_the_great

          Bingo. A privileged white guy from bumfuck Vermont thought he’d appropriate the infrastructure of for his own ambitions and got shut the fuck down.

    • kaw143

      Enjoy President Trump! *waves*

      Don’t blame me, I’M voting for the democratically chosen winner of the Democratic fucking primary, my new Commander in Chief, Hillgazi McEmail.

      • Jonny On Maui

        And we all get death lasers too!

        • Kavefish

          Kewl!

    • Jonny On Maui

      You upped yourself?

      Ed: Oh. now it’s gone…

      • kaw143

        This is a shock?

      • Made.In.Detroit

        No I have MS and was trying to hit the edit button. Tremors are a challenge at times.

        • Jonny On Maui

          I get it. Now, about your other problem…

        • cousin itt

          Sorry dude about the MS. I’ve lost a friend and a student to it.

          The presidential race is now down to Trump vs. Clinton. It’s your choice.

    • feministing

      bye bye

    • anon_the_great

      Fuck you. Unless you live in a reliable Blue State where your electoral vote is pretty much a given. Then, just shame on you you fuckin moran.

    • anon_the_great

      Don’t let our big ass tent flap caress your butthurt on the way out.

      • kaw143

        HEY!

        Oh, wait. You weren’t commenting on the size of my mud flaps. Carry on.

        (But, seriously, I’m sensitive about that. I HAVE A CONDITION!)

        • Jonny On Maui

          But just what kind of um, ‘artwork’ are your mudflaps sportin’?

          • kaw143

            As of right this moment? None. But that’s only because I learned from the mistakes of others and never got drunk with my tattoo artist friends when I was younger. (Loved ’em dearly, but holy SHIT did they get unethical after a couple of fifths.)

            Other various bits, bobs and large swathes are quite sparkly and colorful, in various concentrations.

          • Jonny On Maui

            And I’ll let that go with a That sounds really nice! ;)

          • kaw143

            Probably best. I gave up my sense of shame for lint, once, 20 years ago and never bothered to take it back up after Easter. Honestly, knowing me comes with only one rule (and it is a rule more for everyone else’s protection than mine): “If you aren’t ABSOLUTELY certain you want to know the answer to a question, don’t ask.”

            But, also, too, thanks! It is nice! (Though, there are many, many people I interact with daily who likely don’t know that I spent my wayward youth in tattoo parlors, and I don’t regret a bit of it. Which is to say, if I’m dressed, you’d never know.)

        • anon_the_great

          The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin

          That’s what I said

          The looser the waistband, the deeper the quicksand

          Or so I have read

    • puipui

      Isn’t it weird how I’ve never ever ever heard anyone but Republican dickwads say “Democrat party”? And isn’t it also weird how most Democrats know how to spell “Hillary”?

      I mean, I’m not saying that I don’t believe you. I’m just saying that you sound like you’re full of shit.

      • Jonny On Maui

        Brand new disqus profile trotted out just for us! Weee!!!

        • kaw143

          SEE, DOK? WE’RE CHECKING THE PROFILES, NAO!

        • JMP

          And no avatar either, that’s how you know this is a perfectly cromulent account.

          • Lamashtar

            Hey, some of us are lazy.

          • SnarkTank

            Some of us also can’t figure out how to change the fucking thing (I’ve tried, honest!)

      • anon_the_great

        Troll-be-gone
        Take me Awayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

    • bluicebank

      People here won’t like that statement. But I have to go nerd here. Any protest vote (or fear thereof) won’t make a difference, except in the swing states.

      I offer this observation humbly. The Electoral College. Every state except for two small ones are winner-take-all. That means that I could mount a huge write-in campaign for Betty Boop in California, and it won’t mean squat. California will never again vote for a GOP nominee (yes, we sinned, we are so very sorry about Reagan, goddamit, won’t you all please forgive us?).

      And there is no way a Red State like Alabama would ever go Hillary, and I don’t care how many Republican voters jump ship.

      The electoral map, despite what we’ve heard from some Bernie supporters (and the candidate himself) about how Bernie is better against Trump, does NOT mean that Hillary won’t also wipe the floor come November. As a Sanders supporter, I know that the hypothetical match is the difference between a landslide (Hillary v Trump) and a bigger landslide (Sanders v Trump).

      • anon_the_great

        No no no no no no, you are wrong. The popular vote DOES fuckin count. May not elect a Prez but it does elect down ticket positions and give the Prez a mandate.

        Don’t try to lube us up with is passive/aggressive humble nerd crap. Take responsibility for your thoughts and words or don’t bother to write them.

        • bluicebank

          I am not wrong on this. Just ask Al Gore. This November portends a huge turnout by Democrats and independents, for obvious reasons owing to Trump, and a depressed turnout by the GOP.

          THIS is what is going to happen tomorrow in California. Down-ballot races, regardless of whether Hillary or Bernie wins, favor the Democrats. When you see what happens down-ballot in California, that will be the guide to the November elections. Mark my words. The GOP is going down, heavy.

    • Gleem-McShinez

      Do whatever you want to do, as long as you’ve put some thought into it. As long as you vote, that part is important.

      But, sure, you can tell a nasty snark mob all about it, but I kind of doubt that it’ll help you make up your mind about it. Or were you looking for new combinations of swear words? You’re at the right place for that.

      • anon_the_great

        You win the snark mob tonight

      • SnarkTank

        Or were you looking for new combinations of swear words?

        Shit that fucking cunt motherfucker, asshole.

        • Gleem-McShinez

          Nice! Good flow!
          Wait, you aren’t quoting a BernieBro txt to one of the superdelegates, right?

    • Llareggub

      -“ic.” It’s Democratic. By the way, that’s how we all know what you’re all about when you guys slip up with that kind of 90’s crap.

      • kaw143

        What? You’re just automatically assuming this person votes Republic?

        • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

          Yes.

      • orygoon

        Amateur trool. Snort.

        • Kavefish

          heh… “trool”

          I love good wordplay. :-D

    • BloviateMe

      I’m not a troll jumper, per se, but a ways back, it was noted most trolls invoked the name “Warren” as their official papers, so to speak.

      Check list, checked.

      • Donkey Option

        It’s to try to deflect accusations of sexism. They knew she wouldn’t run so it’s like “I’m not sexist, I’d totally vote for Warren” but they can’t be called on it because she didn’t run. I’m sure that if she ran, they’d find a million reasons to hate her but then say something like “If Barbara Boxer ran, I’d vote for her” just so they can deflect again.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Thank you Made.In.Detroit. You brought forth a Snark Mob of Delight. Exactly what one needs after a stubborn day. A perfect way to end and close out the night. Thank you!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      “Democrat” party? LOL
      I’m sort of glad the wingnuts adopted that term – it makes the trolls easy to spot.

      • DT

        It’s so pathological that they can’t even drop it when they’re pretending to be Democrats.

      • Pierre_de_Fermat

        I think Senator Robert “Mr Republican” Taft of Ohio was fond of that. It vanished for a long time and then reappeared. I believe Bill Buckley was quoted on it as why use a noun when you have a perfectly good adjective?” It has become a cult thing now, sort of a secret handshake?

    • Playonwords

      Then go off and worship Donald Turnip, because if you have your way that’s who will be President. This leads to the following:

      the Supreme Court is packed with conservative or fascist judges,
      gerrymandering is the norm,
      fair employment laws (such as they are) remain unenforced,
      where women’s rights are lost,
      abortion becomes illegal,
      gay rights vanish,
      public education vanishes,
      those deemed “illegals” vanish but in a more permanent way,
      Guantanamo fills up,
      controls on banks and credit cards are entirely lost,
      no Muslim can hold office,
      big coal, oil and nuclear power is subsidised to drive out renewables
      Federal lands are handed over wholesale to mining and quarrying companies.
      any hope of ameliorating Global Climate Change vanishes.

      But, hey, you’re probably creaming your pants over that.

    • King of America

      Donald Trump says thanks!

      • kaw143

        Donald Trump never says that.

    • kaw143

      “What’s the matter, Johnny? What’s the matter, Susie?”

      THIS TROLL IS BORING! WE WANT A NEW TROLL!

      “Well, what about new Troll for Girls?”

    • WomanComingHome

      Hahahahaha!, Are you then the dreaded Malloy Maniac? Stories have been told….

      Hahahahaha!

    • The Wanderer

      I had someone ask yesterday whether they should vote for Gary Johnson or Jill Stein, since they didn’t like Hillary and were sure that Bernie wasn’t going to get the Great Green Weenie.
      I said, “Sure, go ahead – if you want Trump to get elected.”

    • limberrat

      I dealt with some crazy trolls yesterday…this is just sad.

    • MissNomer

      Bye Felicia!

  • cousin itt

    The “vast, right-wing conspiracy” that Hillary Clinton warned about in the 1990’s still exists, she confirmed on Wednesday evening — but now it’s out in the open and it’s “even better funded,” she said.

    Clinton was asked about that infamous quote during a televised town hall hosted by CNN in Derry, New Hampshire.

    “At this point it’s probably not correct to say it’s a conspiracy because it’s out in the open,” Clinton said. “There is no doubt about who the players are, what they’re trying to achieve… It’s real, and we’re going to beat it.” “They’ve brought in some new multibillionaires,” she said. “They want to control our country. They want to rig the economy so they can get richer and richer.

    “They salve their consciences by giving money to philanthropy,” Clinton continued, “but make no mistake, they want to destroy unions, they want to go after any economic interest they don’t believe they can control.” http://www.cbsnews.com/news/hillary-clinton-the-vast-right-wing-conspiracy-is-even-better-funded-now/

    I would like to know how much daylight there is between Hillary and Bernie on these issues. I see basically, none.

    • kaw143

      But, SHE MADE SPEECHES!

      • Zango LeHoonery

        And WEARS EXPENSIVE CLOTHES!

      • Astraea

        EMAIL SERVERRRRRRRRRR

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        Benz Gauzey.

    • feministing

      she’s more intelligent and more successful and hence, has made more money. she’s a powerful woman. that’s about it.

    • bluicebank

      Agreed. Both candidates know that whatever madness exists in the MSN, it isn’t journalism. But, again, I’m a complainer about my once storied craft. I got into it as a Watergate baby, and started off taking on City Hall. Got to Gannett, moved to the copy desk, but fuck me if the profession went south. So forgive me if I sound strident. Beats went dark, by orders of yuppies who never jumped a fence in the dark to get a story. It’s a goddamn five-hanky story.

  • Playonwords

    Well, I suspect that Donald’s motive for running was the butthurt he got at the Correspondents Dinner.

    Now I wonder how his butt will feel when Hillary, Bernie, Barrack, Elizabeth, Tammy, Joe old uncle Miguel Cobley and all have finished whaling on it?

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      He’s going to sprain a finger with all the tweeting he’ll have to do.

      • SnarkTank

        I’m calling the first tweet of the night on Nov. 8: “Crooked Hillary will be indicted tomorrow for election fraud! No way I could have lost! #MexicansShouldntVote #voterfraud”

    • The Wanderer

      I think that’s a major contributing factor. He chose not to run in ’12, and got a lot of ribbing about it. We’ve seen that his ego won’t allow him to leave anything alone.
      I want to see him cry on Election Night. I want to see his aides drag him out of a corner of the room and pull the thumb out of his mouth long enough to stand up in front of all those cameras.
      I want to see a small man diminished.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    OT, but anyone have experience cleaning up a murder scene?
    Had an “encounter” with my chef’s knife, which I like to keep atomically sharp. (It’s a thing, don’t judge.) Finger is still attached, held in shape with a lot of butterfly bandages, but the kitchen looks like Tarantino just got it ready for a shoot.

    • Lamashtar

      Paper towels. If you’re serious, bleach.

    • King of America

      Nice try, Satan.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        If you cut me, do I not bleed? (Hint: answer is yes.)

    • Amalga

      Paper towels first. 10% bleach solution on more paper towels to follow up. Those Clorox counter wipes work pretty well too.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Funnny – I was just reading the label on those. No Clorox in the damned things – just the brand name to sell them. Working fairly well, although blood dries surprisingly quickly, and it takes some scrubbing. If the CSI people show up, I’ll have some ‘splaining to do.

        • kaw143

          LUUUUUCY!

        • Amalga

          I actually use the Kirkland ones?

    • kaw143

      Uh, As Gone Girl has taught us, there is no cleaning up after something like that. You have just been implicated in your own murder. I hope you’re photogenic, because then you can get away with it.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        LOL. I broke the first rule of knife handling: if you lose your grip, step back and let it drop. The alternative rarely turns out well.

        • kaw143

          Yikes. So true.

          The first rule of knife handling is pretty much the exact opposite of the first rule of everything everywhere else. IF YOU FUMBLE, GRAB!

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            NFL wide receivers should probably stay out of the kitchen.

        • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

          …if you lose your grip, JUMP back…

          From counter-top height, it will get going fast enough to fuck up one of your feet if you saunter. This warning brought to you by Personal Experience…

          • Kavefish

            Yeah, there’s a reason you don’t wanna do serious knife work barefoot.

          • JH Marx

            One of my house rules – no cooking naked.

        • orygoon

          I had that experience once. Summer, Texas, no shoes, lightning-fast todler who swiped at the countertop. I’m glad it fell on my relatively craggy foot and not his soft little dimpled one.

    • Bad Granny

      Does a suicide scene count?

      Anyhoo, since it’s your blood, infection control isn’t a concern. Use disposables, paper towels are fine, to clean up as much as you can, follow with soap and water, any stubborn stains can be scrubbed out with hydrogen peroxide.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        I’ll do the peroxide thing tomorrow. I’m tired, it’s freaking 4:00 AM, and all I wanted to do was dismantle a chicken so I could marinate it overnight. That was 2 hours ago, and I was tired then – which is probably why this whole disaster got rolling.
        I’m off to bed, as soon as these two (1.5?) fingers of Makers Mark are disposed of.

        • Bad Granny

          Did the bleeding stop? Is your finger an appropriate color? Is that finger also warm?

        • Bad Granny

          Also too, if you’re leaving the stains for later, lay a damp towel on them so they don’t dry out.

        • Suttree

          Watch out with the liquor, it makes the bleeding much worse.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            I take coumadin, which is part of the reason this became such a gore-fest.

          • Suttree

            That’ll do it. I had to put on a tourniquet for my slicing. How is it doing today?

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            Some throbbing – for which I can’t take the OTC analgesics. Watching for infection, which would have me at the doctor’s office pronto. (I know too much about bacteria for my own mental health.)

          • Suttree

            Yeah, that whole raw chicken and an open wound always makes me worry, but that is actually a good time for profuse bleeding to clean the wound out.

    • Zango LeHoonery

      Hydrogen peroxide is good for blood stains.

    • Suttree

      That sucks! I did this last year making beouf borguingnon after a few too many glasses of wine. Definitely a quick paper towel mop up and then get into the nitty gritty with some sort of kitchen cleanser.

      • kaw143

        YIKES! OUCH! OWOWOWOWOW!

        • Suttree

          It didn’t hurt at all, my knife was razor sharp. It just wouldn’t stop bleeding, so I wimped out and went and got sutures. The ER doc did a good job, there is only a slight scar now.

          • Pierre_de_Fermat

            That actually is the *advantage* of a sharp knife: you use less force and the cut is cleaner. *But* getting to that stage after dull knives can be … difficult. Also *argh* ow owowowowowowowow.
            (memories of coq au vin return)

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            They see a lot of this. In NYC, the “bagel cut” between thumb and forefinger is a popular one.

          • Suttree

            I was cutting carrots way to fast, I forgot that I don’t have the manual dexterity I did when I was younger, because wine. Also, too, I miss H&H!

        • arrrghle

          yes, ouch ouch ouch!

          Not as big, but I did off the very tip of one of my fingers with pruning shears once. Fingers live on the edge.

    • As someone who nearly lost the business end of their nose picking finger in a tragic middle school recess-related door accident that they miraculously hid from parents, administrators, and trained medical professionals because they were deathly afraid of a summary amputation, I have two words for you:

      Duct tape.

      Also, too:

      Good luck…

    • jmhm

      If all else fails, hydrogen peroxide / Oxyclean (which is pretty much dry hydrogen peroxide). Just wear gloves.

    • arrrghle

      ooooh. ouch. sorry.

    • Suttree

      For your enjoyment later. You reminded me to purchase a knife and cutting board for Lizzietish and I came across this. The comments are hilarious, or I am in dire need of sleep.
      http://www.amazon.com/Shun-Premier-Inch-Chefs-Knife/dp/B00TSQR4J2?ie=UTF8&keywords=chefs%20knife&qid=1465289980&ref_=sr_1_4&s=home-garden&sr=1-4

      • Pierre_de_Fermat

        You can’t do sh*t without a sharp knife. At least not in the kitchen. But remembering they are sharp (and should remain that way) can involve a “learning experience” (you really can’t see the scar anymore — well, sort of, but the light has to be right).

      • Lizzietish81

        “Not effective against White Walkers”

        Well what am I going to do about the infestation in my kitchen?!

        • Suttree

          I still haven’t found the dragonglass knives section on Amazon. I’ll keep looking darling!

    • Kavefish

      Yeowch!

      Best wishes to the finger and the kitchen.

    • Msgr_Moment

      Bleach and a wood chipper. Industrial strength.

    • Lizzietish81

      Hydrogen peroxide will break up the blood and make it easier to clean up

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Yikes. After spending most of my life without insurance, I became an expert in woodshop minor surgery. Hydrogen peroxide, super glue, and those stretchy little strip bandages that you can use to pull a wound shut are your friends.

    • limberrat

      That’s why you set up the plastic BEFORE you commit the murder! Has Dexter not taught you people anything??? Gosh!

    • pstockholm

      When life gives you blood make blood sausage.

  • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

    So, how’s Ted Cruz polling in California?

    • limberrat

      Dunno, Jim Gilmore is on the ballot though. I told my wife who is still reluctantly R to vote for Jim.

    • malsperanza

      Big uptick, I bet.

  • arrrghle

    Is anybody home here at the Wonkemporium? It’s the middle of the night but I just got off work and I have to say WOO HOO to SOMEbody and my kids and friends would probably not appreciate a phone call so WOO HOO. After all those decades of living through those horrible Republican administrations, we have definitely gotten our just reward. Because it’s definitely justice that people of color and people of vaginas can finally share in the leadership of this fine land. WOO! HOO!

    • DT

      WOO HOO to YOO!

    • Suttree

      I’m still up. I have terrible sleeping problems, but plenty of booze.

  • Bobo4u

    So, am I to believe that no one here believes that there was nothing nefarious about the timing of the newly-committed super delegates? Or are ya all just being a touch willfully stupid? Not trolling…I simply wan’t to know how such obvious [yes, election-rigging] is so easily written off.

    • Because it’s definitely unheard of for the supers to line up behind the candidate that’s obviously winning. That’s definitely never happened before. It certainly didn’t just happen eight years ago.

      • Bobo4u

        So, with multiple primaries still to be held, you think it’s OK for a news service to declare the nominee before the convention? Keep in mind that Super delegates can change their support depending on what happens AFTER the primaries are held.

        • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

          How would you recommend we stop a “news” service from doing so?

          See also: Handwriting Is On The Wall.

        • I don’t love the timing. Mainly because I think they stepped on what should have been a celebratory moment for the Hillary campaign tomorrow night. Also because it was obvious that calling the nomination on a day that wasn’t even a primary day was going to stir up the conspiracy theorists, but I don’t know if that matters — tonight, tomorrow night, July at the convention, November, next January — a certain segment is always going to be convinced that Bernie got robbed, because he’s done a good job of convincing them that every loss or misstep of his was rigged by the establishment.

          But I don’t think it was any more nefarious than a news organization wanting a scoop. It’s their job to report the damn news. They did their legwork, they got the facts, they reported them. That’s how journalism works. There’s an argument to be made that withholding the information once they confirmed it would be nefarious.

          The supers aren’t going to change their support to throw the nomination to the guy who lost. But in any case, we have language for this. It’s why we say “presumptive nominee”. That word “presumptive” means that it can safely be assumed that she will be the nominee in the end, but it’s not officially confirmed yet. Since she has the requisite number of delegates, she gets the title. If she drops out or gets kidnapped by aliens, we would stop presuming that she’ll be the nominee, but unless that happens, it is what it is, whether anyone likes the timing of the news or not.

          • Bobo4u

            “…it’s not officially confirmed yet.”

            And, that is the problem. The media makes it sound as if Hillary’s been declared ‘The Democratic Nominee.’ Game over. Done deal. No need to vote in the primary, because Hillary is the official winner. I’ll be surprised if no one calls foul.

          • They’re calling her the presumptive nominee, because that’s what she is. If people don’t know what words like “presumptive” mean, I can’t help them – this was explained ad nauseum on the news just a few weeks ago with Trump. And if they’re dumb enough not to bother to vote when there are down ballot races to consider and when margins matter, I can’t help that either, and neither can the AP. People shouldn’t have to be handheld and spoon fed to know that they still need to vote – we used to call that a civic duty.

          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            Amen.

          • Astraea

            People should vote downticket in their primary but it is just trufact that Hillary is going to be the nominee. The delegates aren’t going to suddenly switch for Bernie at the convention. It’s over. Period. Done. Stick a fork in it. The fat lady has sung. Goodbye and thanks for all the fish.

          • The Wanderer

            It’s not much different from the news organizations calling the general when you only have some of the states east of the Mississippi reporting in. Tends to dampen the enthusiasm of the western voters, and I think that it’s been a disservice to Americans since 1972. The question is how do you stop them from doing it?

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            Make it unlegal to declare a victor until all counts are in. Flat out. Most other civilized countries do this.

          • malsperanza

            Call them names and pout a lot. Works every time.

          • Also, Bernie and Co. are already crying foul, but so what? They do that after every decision that isn’t in their favor.

          • IdRatherBeDancing

            Who is the bigger whiny assed titty baby? Trump or the Sanders campaign?

          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            Once again, it is not the Democratic party doing this, it is the media — which is largely uncontrolled in a civilized society.

          • Pierre_de_Fermat

            My thought is they got their counts straight, and knew they could not sit on it. Knew. The Whitehouse probably had a heads up, hence the calls between President Obama and Senator Sanders yesterday afternoon. No, I don’t think anyone (WH, Clinton or Sanders campaigns) wanted this out, especially with the primaries today, all of which have many
            downstream issues. But this is what news organizations do.They are reporting their best info.

            Wonkette has been split between Hillary and Bernie all season; the front pagers have been split. This has been happening on groups all across the net. Our Wonkette is no different. Two people, looking at the same information (aka “data”) may come to different conclusions. It does not require the intervention of a “conspiracy”.

            8 years ago, I could not wait for HRC to drop it. Was getting a bit po’d with her, in fact. She came back with a whole-hearted endorsement of PBO, moved the Convention suspend the roll call and nominate him by acclamation. Sen Sanders has brought a new attention to the left and that is good. Needed. But the Democratic Party is not the weirdly ideological party the Republicans have become. It has functioned for generations as an alliance of sometimes competing groups.

            John Judis, writing over at TPM , recalls the 1980 convention fight between Jimmy Carter and Ted Kennedy. A bitter fight; “the platform planks for which Kennedy’s supporters fought—and which I
            had to explore the internet to recall — became footnotes in a doctoral
            thesis on party conventions.”

          • malsperanza

            She came back with a whole-hearted endorsement of PBO, moved the Convention suspend the roll call and nominate him by acclamation.

            Anyone want to put money on Sanders doing this? *crickets*

            And of course, the Carter/Kennedy fight, which stayed ugly, ended only when … Ronald Reagan got elected by a landslide. So that worked out well.

            Was I pissed at Teddy? Why yes, it took me years to get over my rage. He was fucking unelectable after Chappaquiddick. And it’s not like the following 25 years as the Lion of the Senate were such a sad thing for him.

            Sanders might want to take note of that, if he bothered to pay any attention to history.

          • Pierre_de_Fermat

            I *always* had the impression that while Sen Kennedy was not a great fan of President Carter’s, it really required a lot to get him to do it. It was like some strange Hamlet or something. The hunger for “another Kennedy” was strong in some areas. Of course it was a failure, and split the party and brought Reagan in. Carter might have lost anyway, but that run was a disaster. He was a far more effective senator, than (I believe) he would have been as a president.

          • malsperanza

            And you’re happy about that, because it would keep Hillary voters home and encourage Bernie voters to go vote to prove the AP wrong. Right? Right? Helllloooo? Anyone in there?

        • Msgr_Moment

          Didn’t they already declare Trump the GOB nominee?

          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            Hmmmmm.

        • berkeleyfarm

          Oh bless your heart, are you new to this? This actually happens most years – news organizations can do delegate math – and I assure you that we experienced California voters are well used to it with our usually-very-late primary. It’s usually done months before we actually vote. This year I was thinking that “it’s all over but the shoutin'” for the Dems (as noted, the Rs have called their race) would happen when the polls closed in NJ three hours before they did in CA but that’s the way things happen. I wish they’d held off one more day for a LOT of reasons but they’re news orgs, they report news, especially if they have a “scoop”/breaking story.

        • malsperanza

          It’s not like the AP asked the superdelegates about that, or anything. It would be cheating if they said something like, “So, is this a vote you might change if Sanders wins unexpectedly big in the last group of primaries?”

          Of course, the superdelegates might be lying, because they are evil, and hate democracy.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      It’s a huge conspiracy, Bobo. Alex Jones or Glenn Beck can probably provide you with ample insight into how it happened.

      I also recommend you read this carefully: http://www.stopabductions.com/

      • Bobo4u

        So, I take it you don’t believe the MSM could possibly have an agenda?

        • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

          Shove it up your ass, trollie.

          • Bobo4u

            So, willfully stupid then.

          • Alex Grey

            Yes, yes you are.

          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            1. I received my undergraduate degree in political science in 1976, have been an active Democrat since 1972 and worked in the DoD, active duty and civilian, for 35 years. I have no need to re-plow that ground with a mental midget.

            2. “…no one here believes that there was nothing nefarious about the timing of the newly-committed super delegates?”
            ^^^ This is not how it works in the professional world, junior. If you think there is something nefarious about it, find proof and present it. I’ll take the time to read a well written document with decent references (i.e., college freshman-level rhetoric), but your statement contains no factual evidence of any kind and actually admits that nobody here but you even thinks it’s a problem. In other words, it doesn’t even raise to the level of “conspiracy,” owing to the admitted fact that there are no other conspirators.

            3. Hope this is helpful if you ever make it out of high school.

          • Alex Grey

            I hope you aren’t expecting a reply. They never do when you present them with facts. Such as the fact that political parties don’t actually have to have elections to choose their candidate, if they didn’t want to. Sure it wouldn’t be a good choice, but it isn’t legally mandated. They are independent entities from the government.

          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            Thanks, I’m just ranting for the sake of ranting. I tend to do that when I find one of these idiots who will actually stand there and take it. Their normal modus operandi is to move the goal posts and declare victory. This guy isn’t even that talented.

        • Astraea

          Did you even read the AP piece?

        • jmhm

          They absolutely have an agenda. It’s been the same agenda for over thirty years. They can’t stand Hillary.

          You should be grateful for it. It’s the only reason you got as close as you did.

          • berkeleyfarm

            That and the “proportional delegates” thing.

        • malsperanza

          All of them together? Well, that would be a first.

    • Alex Grey

      You do realize that there is nothing in the Constitution, that says how political parties have to choose their candidates don’t you? It wouldn’t be wise, but the party doesn’t actually have to have primaries/caucuses to choose their candidate. They could just nominate someone.
      Political parties are independent entities from the government.

    • The writing has been on the wall for a LOOOOONG time here. I’ve said it before, Bernie gave it a good run, and he lost, now he has to be an adult about it and do what he can to help ensure that fucking Trump doesn’t end up with any power at all…

    • Florida Farmer

      How about this: why don’t you crawl away and get proof of this “such obvious” election rigging and bring it back? That would put you into the serious column instead of the “yet another conspiracy theorist” crowd. With so many people in that CT bunch, you’d think someone would come out for air once in awhile.

    • malsperanza

      And let’s not forget the incredible skill with which the NY Election Commission combed through the Brooklyn voter rolls last summer, identified the people who were going to vote for Sanders this spring, and disenfranchised them, without including a single Clinton voter.

      Really the skill of the badguys is impressive. Almost makes you wish they were running the government. We might get something done.

      • artem1s

        can we get them to be in charge of the VA?

  • Emmaldrake

    “my room mate Lori Is getting paid on the internet $98/hr”…..!tr1193ur

    two days ago grey McLaren. P1 I bought after earning 18,512 Dollars..it was my previous month’s payout..just a little over.17k Dollars Last month..3-5 hours job a day…with weekly payouts..it’s realy the simplest. job I have ever Do.. I Joined This 7 months. ago. and now making over hourly. 87 Dollars…Learn. More right Here !tr1193u:➽:➽:.➽.➽.➽.➽ http://GlobalSuperJobsReportsEmploymentsLinksGetPay$98Hour…. .★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★::::::!tr1193o….,…

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      “…after earning 18,512 Dollars servicing Donald Trump…”

      FIFY

    • limberrat

      YES! LORI’S BACK! And she learned to spell McLaren right!!!! She’s still has absolutely terrible grammar and punctuation though!

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        And still sucks at math.

  • orygoon

    If by “revolution ” we mean Bernie “tapped into an incredibly toxic bunch of shrill immature whingers”, I really am happy to see this thing smothered and put out by votey votes. Those kids and Grandpa are as bad as ever tonight. Bless their hearts.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      I love enthusiasm, but I hate people who turn to spoiling a situation just because their enthusiasm gets dampened. Hell hath no fury like young voters spurned.

  • orygoon

    And Berners: damn skippy it’s news that Hillary has the delegate count to win. How stupid are you, ffs?

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      You need to ask? In their defense, Bernie could call off the zombies now, and maybe even endorse Secretary Clinton.

      • Bobo4u

        In your dreams. Ain’t gonna happen.

        • Kavefish

          Then he would be breaking his word, otherwise known as “being a liar.”

          • Alex Grey

            Like changing your affiliation to a political party, for the sole reason of being able to run for president under their umbrella, and then whining when the voters don’t choose you?

          • malsperanza

            Insulting the people who could change their votes for you is also a masterful move and in no way pandering to demagoguery.

        • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

          How the fuck would you know?

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          Pssst, that’s going to be yet one more in a long list of disappoints for ya.

        • jmhm

          Sorta didn’t stick the flounce there, Bobo.

          • malsperanza

            Great, now I have Olympic Competitive Sandersing stuck in my head. He got a 9.6 from the Kansas judge, but the Massachusetts judge took off 2 points for excessive whining, and the NY judge awarded points for style but none for substance.

            *golf voice* Let’s see what the California judge says.

  • Bobo4u

    So, I thought maybe this was a progressive site, but I see many a Hill bot here. With that knowledge, I bid you all a good night.

    • The Wanderer

      Sleep well.

    • Astraea

      Mooooooooooom, this progressive site has people I don’t agree with on it!!!!!!

      • limberrat

        Tell that butthurt asshole to grow a pair!!!

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Hillary’s making faces at me!

    • Alex Grey

      Someone sounds butthurt…

    • Sheepshagger

      Don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      Shove it up your ass, trollie.

      But I repeat myself.

    • Lizzietish81

      Actually it’s a Mommyblog, recipe hub and dating site.

      • Msgr_Moment

        Dick joke libel!

        • Lizzietish81

          Speaking of which, Suttree and I were watching Rome and decided it is the quintessential Wonkette show. So many dick jokes.

          • malsperanza

            Wait til that Versailles thing hits the US airwaves.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Speak for yourself.

        • Pickwicknext

          Not just them!

    • Mhael

      We didn’t used to allow comments, either, but after the Hillz threatened to Benghazi the Editrix along with the reanimated corpse of Vince Foster, several kittens, and the lost Whitewater documents, she paid us all to become Shillaries for the Almighty Establishment.

    • Fly

      Hillary is my man. Baby

    • King of America

      oh no

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Not Hillbots, genius, just people who are able to accept reality. Buh bye.

    • malsperanza

      We are all in the pocket of Wall Street, hoping to be enriched as soon as she hits the White House. We used to be progressive but we sold our souls for personal gain.

      There can be no other explanation.

  • The Wanderer

    Voters of NJ, ND, NM, SD, MT and CA: Pay no attention to the Fifth Column – er, Fourth Estate. Your votes will seal the deal and end all debate, so get the hell into that voting booth and VOTE!
    Vote like your future and your children depended on it (which they do). Honestly, do you want to see that racist, yam-colored buttfucker as President?

    • bozolives

      Exactly, no yam-colored buttfucker as President. I voted for Bernie, but I am more than willing to support Clinton to prevent a total barf fest like Trump.

      • The Wanderer

        Exactly. I quote the inestimable and technically immortal Lazarus Long:
        “If you are part of a society that votes, then do so. There may be no candidates and no measures you want to vote for … but there are certain to be ones you want to vote against.”

        • Alex Grey

          We should have mandatory voting like Australia does. It would probably force an equal number of uninformed voters on each side to participate, balancing each other out, and hopefully would encourage a certain segment of voters to become informed before voting…

          • The Wanderer

            I thought that obligatory (mandatory) voting might be good, and then I saw this:
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-n6hvPP06Rs

          • Alex Grey

            There are requirements for a candidate to be listed. OTOH even without obligatory voting, a ficus ran for senate in 2000. Or it might have been for Rep.
            Edit: It was for a New Jersey Rep. https://youtu.be/wqa_bhwA-1E

          • The Wanderer

            Hee! It’s not the first time a vegetable or inanimate object got votes. Fillmore, Polk, Reagan (second term), and the list goes on.

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            I am voting for Votey McVoteface

        • malsperanza

          For some reason, the Bernie True Believers think that this is a corrupt way to vote.

          I expect it’s mostly the young’uns, who have not seen what happens when you refuse to choose a less than ideal candidate over a monster.

      • Pierre_de_Fermat

        Trump is getting worse and worse. I am wondering if the Republicans really are looking for a way out.

        • The Wanderer

          I’ve noted that, since 2001, the GOP is willing to swallow anything so long as it maintains them in power.

          • jmhm

            Yeah, but they may not think they need Trump holding the White House to keep it. After all, if anything is going to bring the teapartiers back to the fold, it would be Congressional and local Republicans running endlessly against the walking vagina dentata delivery system who kept their guy out of the White House and the unconscionable judicial activists she put on the Court.

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            True that.

          • malsperanza

            Since it’s most likely a done deal, they are certainly looking at that and hoping for 2020. Plus they now control 38 governorships. So they’re going to look local for a while. And try to hold the Senate.

            But losing the SCOTUS is big, and they will find that hard to thole.

            I am looking forward to the scheduling of Merrick Garland’s confirmation hearing sometime in August.

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            I am still secretly hoping for a Bamz confirmation. Because those assholes deserve it after the fucknutting they did with Garland. He can get the next spot.

          • malsperanza

            There are at least 2 more spots coming up. Plenty of time. I want to go into the fall with the senators in tight races forced to go on the record over Garland.

            And I love the calculus they are having to make over whether a Clinton appointment would be worse, and younger. Go Bamz, choosing Garland was a sweet move.

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            He’s actually quite a centric type judge. Like…Bamz himself when it comes to that stuff. And really, SCOTUS should be centric- judge based on actual law than feeling, heaven forbid!
            Thuogh mind I consider the notorious RBG as fairly even handed and the right certainly disagrees with me there.

          • malsperanza

            Centrist justices tend to drift left after they’ve been on the bench for a bit. We are very ok with with Merrick Garland, if for nothing else than the prime quality of Obama’s trolling.

          • IdRatherBeDancing

            I’m for Angela Davis — jk :)

          • jmhm

            I think this is actually their best shot. We’ve seen ample proof that they just aren’t good at running things, and we can only destroy the economy so many times.

        • malsperanza

          Yes.

  • bubbuhh

    It’s Vote Anyway Tuesday! Vote! Vote! Vote!

    • Alex Grey

      Agreed. Although I already voted since I live in OR. Your votes still count, even if they won’t change the outcome.

  • Randy Riddle

    Well, this should make it easier for the Fox News programmers to schedule blocks of Benghazi and Vince Foster documentaries with occasional fawning love pieces about Trump for the next six months.

    • The Wanderer

      Oh yeah. Expect a lot of knob slobbing.

    • Alex Grey

      I hope they do. It has only worked against them so far.

  • Alex Grey

    Pretty much every right wing attack against Hillary in the last year or so, has only made her look better and more presidential. Except maybe among the extreme Bernie shills. Yeah I said it.

    • bluicebank

      Because she is above reproach? Just ask any Cambodian regarding her friendship with Henry Kissinger whether it’s all just politics. Hell, ask any person from Chile. Or Vietnam. Or, shit, there was that other country.

      Yep, we’re all just making shit up as we go along. Libya. Honduras. Nothing to see here. Move along. Everything against Hillary is imaginary. Sleep, lay your heads to rest. Don’t mind the ghosts.

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        There is a lady with a knife. There is a man with an AK-47. Take your pick.

        • bluicebank

          Is this a Camelot quiz? Because I’m going to have to go with the watery tart to order my freedom about.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOOTKA0aGI0

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            I thought we were an autonomous collective?

          • bluicebank

            We were, up until the French arrived.

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            Fucking French, they ruin everything with their culture and their cullinary talents.

          • bluicebank

            The French were never a problem when they were provincial, rustic, dare I say Gaul.

            But no. They had to get all fancy pants with their cooking.

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            It’s the fancy spices, went right to their heads and then it was all over. Either that or the terrific wine. …ooooo or maybe the spiced wine.
            Someone should study this.

          • bluicebank

            We in California already studied it. And then we made champagne better than the French, but then they cried and we had to call it sparkling wine (thanks, Obama).

            On the other hand, the French did give us New Orleans and its culture for a dime on the corner.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=clJb4zx0o1o

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            I can forgive them for that, then. Love me some old time French Quarter action. Though I’ve only been twice, and was totally a tourist both times so it’s not like I should have much an opine on it.

          • bluicebank

            Oh dang, Jen. You should watch “Treme.”

            Me and my gal went to the Jazz Fest in the ’90s, and not even San Fran or L.A. could hold a candle to that cooking. We even went to oh-la Dookie Chase, and the service and food was not good, compared to what we got off a truck at the jazz fest, a soft-shelled crab poo-boy.

            I cried my heart out when NOLA was left alone after Katrina. You really must watch Treme.

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            I will add it to my list for sure ^.^ Especially if there might be Jazz. Speaking of, PBS just did a docu series on Jazz and it was brilliant and reminded me just why I love the PBS.

          • bluicebank
          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            “we made champagne better than the French”

            Dude, you are full of shit.

          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            No, it’s a reality quiz. Do you want Hillary or do you want Donald Fucking Trump? Like it or not, those are your two choices now. Get on board or get the fuck out of the way.

          • bluicebank

            Still have to go with the watery bint. I suppose the other option is to fart in the general direction of King Arthur.

      • Lizzietish81

        I’m sure the Cambodian would look at you strangely and ask you to leave cause he has work to do.

        • bluicebank

          I’m sure if you worded “Kampuchea” and “Saluth Sar’ that Cambodian would know a hell of a lot more than you. So let’s not not make lite of genocide, mkay?

          • malsperanza

            Wait, you’re accusing Hillary Clinton of endorsing(?) or embracing(?) or committing(?) the secret bombing of Cambodia, in order to smear her as a candidate in 2016, but we’re the people who are making light of genocide?

          • bluicebank

            Of course not. But nice straw man argument attempt. I’m saying that Henry Kissinger is a war criminal. and among his many crimes, he encouraged Pol Pot’s regime, indeed contributed to Cambodia’s demise in the wake of S. Vietnam’s fall, and that today Hillary and Bill Clinton embrace this war criminal. No, Hillary was too young to actively hug Henry Kissinger when the illegal bombing of Cambodia began.

            Nor was Hillary, I suspect, even aware that three students in Ohio were killed because of the Cambodia bombing (not to mention the genocide of some 2 million in 1975).

            I am not saying that Hillary had a hand in this. I’m saying she embraces and vacations with the man who did.

            Is that clear enough?

          • IdRatherBeDancing

            I’m pretty sure she was well aware of Kent State, consudering she was a Eugene McCarthy acolyte. Do you even know anything about the woman before you slander her? No. No, you do not.

          • bluicebank

            No doubt she was aware, after the fact. I was aware, after the fact.

            But it took me quite a while to figure out Nixon’s role (I was in 5th grade at the time), and then Kissinger’s role, and by an odd twist, I found about the Cambodia genocide even before the NYT published it in 1975.

            So when I responded to malsperanza, it was to his nonsense counter, and you just jumped into the game. I would be happy to tell you about what I know regarding Cambodia and the Khmer Rouge, and how Henry Kissinger fits in.

          • IdRatherBeDancing

            I m aware of the history. Thanks.

          • bluicebank

            I don’t believe that you are.

            In 1975 the American public was still reeling from the Vietnam War, ended two years earlier. No one wanted to care about the “boat people,” much less a Reader’s Digest account of the book “Murder of a Gentle Land.” Cambodia was named by it’s inhabitants as “Kampuchea,” aka a gentle land.

            The genocidal murderer called Pol Pot was born as Saluth Sar, educated in France, and adopted an extreme version of Robespierre’s philosophy. In the midst the the Vietnam War, Kissinger advocated to work with Pol Pot’s emerging Khmer Rouge (that’s French, tish).

            Kissinger’s hands are not just dirty on a genocide, they are bloody elsewhere.

            So do tell me why I should listen to anyone who sides with someone who considers Kissinger to be a trusted advisor. Do please lecture me on the subject.

          • IdRatherBeDancing

            Believe whatever you want to believe asshole.

          • bluicebank

            It is not about belief, and I will refrain from calling you names as you just did.

            In 1975 I became aware of a mass genocide. From my father, I learned about the genocide by Hitler, of the Jews and Gypsies. When I discovered that a genocide was going on, I tried as hard as I could to get anyone to care about it. I was like 15 years old, and I wrote my congressman, I pleaded with my pastor, and I even manged to get a letter-to-the-editor published in the San Bernadino Sun — all to no avail.

            So, I am not surprised that you seem to care about the murder of a gentle land. I’ve been there. But if you think I forgot about Kissinger, you would be wrong.

          • IdRatherBeDancing

            You ARE being an asshole when you broadly assert that I do not know the history. So, I suppose I will take your mealy bait and justify why you are wrong. See, I minored in Chinese history, so I am well aware of the geopolitical issues that pertained to Southeast Asia or Indochina or cochinchina, as South Vietnam was known in the Frecnch colonial times (since you think throwing around French terms is oh so erudite). I am well aware of the domino theory and the role it played in Indochina policies developed in the 1950’s through the Gulf of Tonkin Resolution of 1964 and the build up of troops in Vietnam in 1965. I am equally aware of the role of Richard Nixon and his would-be national security adviser, Henry Kissenger, in manipulating the Paris peace talks prior to the 1968 election. I am quite familiar with the illegal bombing of Cambodia in 1969, a heretofore neutral country in our foray in Vietnam, as a means of preventing passage via the Mekong Delta into South Vietnam by Vietcong guerillas. I am also aware of Nixon’s policy on Vietnamization as the beginning of the draw down of troops in Vietnam prior to the 1972 elections, his reaching a hand to China as a means of neutralizing the Soviets so to assist the US exit from Southeast Asia. i also am quite aware that the Nixon administration and his national security advisor/Secretary of State knew as early as 1969 that Vietnam was a hopeless trainwreck and unwinnable in any conventional sense. Nevertheless, Nixon kept the war going, relentlessly bombing North Vietnam and Cambodia, as well as mining Haiphong Harbor as part of his policy of Vietnamization until after the 1972 election so that he would not “lose” Vietnam the way Truman “lost” China. I am also aware how the illegal bombing of Cambodia destablized the country leading to a political vacuum eagerly filled by the Khmer Rouge. So, I would appreciate you not informing me what I do and do not know. Am I crystal clear?

          • bluicebank

            When a person begins a retort with foul language, such as you did, it does not invite a proper response. So after I read your invective in the first sentence, I ignored everything after.

            In matters of discourse and decorum, one should be aware that retorts, even if they require an insult, do not begin with such. Otherwise no one gets past whatever expletive you have to offer. Just fyi.

          • IdRatherBeDancing

            Just an fyi to you, when you start a debate with condescention, you invite, indeed beg for, the invective justifiably directed your way. But you know exactly what you are doing, and now you are playing the prude little victim now. And suffice it to say what follows from my disclourse above should disabuse you of your condescending observation that I am needy for your unsolicited tutiorial on the history of Indochina, including Cambodia circa 1965-1973. You are hardly the innonenct little orchid here.

          • IdRatherBeDancing

            Yes. Why yes he is. Guilt by association and in full Sarah Palin mod. Never mind Pol Pot committed the genocide. So, Hillary is the SAME as Pol Pot. LMAO. Yay, let’s all fling our shit at the Internets. Hmm, perhaps we should learn who Bernie pals around with. It was despicable when Sarah Palin did it, and it is despicable that bluicebank is doing it.

      • The Wanderer

        More like she’s taken every bit of manure flung at her since about 1988. And, I think, she watched what Obama had to endure and maintain his sang-froid.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Shall we blame RGB for every horrible decision Scalia made? Shall we blame Tip O’Neill for every single thing Reagan did? Shall we blame you for every single thing any of your friends have done? Weeee, let’s play guilt by association!

        • malsperanza

          Exactly. Through work, I occasionally find myself in social situations where people like Kissinger might show up. That man is friends with everyone, including a shit-ton of very active, useful liberal politicians. Because they all have to deal with one another daily, and have learned how to do it.

          It shocked me a little to learn that RBG and Scalia were besties. But I truly do not give a fuck as long as she votes the way we need her to vote. Which she does.

          This mindless purism is one of Sanders’s most useless traits, and a very big reason why his “movement” never attracted more than one, maybe two, demographic groups.

      • Florida Farmer

        Yeah, we get it already. Hillz is the evilest evil to ever evil in the history of the planet.

        • bluicebank

          Straw man argument noted.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I certainly don’t overlook Hillary’s flaws. I voted for Bernie, but since then, I have noticed certain…megalomaniacal tendencies that really made me question his ability to govern, at least anywhere larger than a state with 300,000 liberal, affluent white people.

          • Florida Farmer

            It isn’t an “argument”. It’s a comment on your never-ending list of why Clinton is the star of the All Bad, All the Time show. One would think someone who considers themselves to be superior to everyone else and who thinks they have such withering commentary would know this. But, I suppose that withering in this case is something else entirely, judging from your other comments.

          • bluicebank

            “It’s a comment on your never-ending list of why Clinton is the star of the All Bad, All the Time show.”

            That is a classic example of a straw man argument. You accuse me of a thing I never said in order to defeat it.

            I cannot and will not engage with people so divorced from reality. I will never do so with Republicans, who are completely hopeless on the matter. And when I see fellow Liberals, out of partisan loyalty, engage in pure sophistry, I have to also say goodbye.

            If you are so obtuse, so unaware, as to miss that you commit the error with which you accuse others of, then how in the hell can anyone reason with you? Do you not see your self in the mirror?

          • Florida Farmer

            Boo hoo. I guess I’ll have to cry myself to sleep because someone thinks one comment in one thread stands in some sort of vacuum and there are not scads of others – that people can actually see and read – where you go on and on about things. Withering is certainly an apt descriptor. Toodles, oh superior one, since you won’t be “engaging” with the likes of me any longer. (Although I am inclined to think that as with others like yourself, you probably will respond. I’ll help you do the auto-ego stroking thing, and you can have the last word.)

      • malsperanza

        Ah yes, that horrible time back in 1972 when Hillary Clinton bombed Cambodia. What the fuck are you talking about? The fact that a seasoned politician works with, and is even friendly with, powerful other politicians who are bad people?

        I mean, it’s not like the past secretaries of state have any legitimate reason to associate with one another.

        I would love to see Kissinger hauled before the High Court in the Hague. But the idea that Hillary Clinton should refuse to associate with him is sheer idiocy. What exactly do you think Sanders does, when he is in a room with Mitch McConnell? Pout in a corner with his hands folded? Or negotiate a deal? If the former then thank god he’s not the nominee.

        This is exactly the thinking that makes me walk away from the Sanders crew. There’s no there there, just images, sound bites, rhetorical gestures. Banks Bad! Politics Corrupt! Hillary is a Republican!

        That shit and a dime will buy you whatever the fuck a dime buys these days.

        • Astraea

          This ideological purity shit is how we get the TeaParty and Republicans willing to shut down the whole damn government just to avoid even looking like maybe they’re cooperating with Democrats.

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            Where do you think this behavior was learned? Both sides do it!!!!

        • IdRatherBeDancing

          Never mind she worked on McGovern’s campaign who was decisively anti-war and decisively anti-Nixon, and before that she was a Eugene McCarthy accolyte. So, her anti-war cred was pretty well established during Vietnam. Where do these fucking morons get their history. They are bad at math and history.

        • bluicebank

          I was talking about Henry Kissinger. And Hillary’s public and private embrace of him.

          You know, kids, straw man arguments must be presented more cogently to get past we Liberals. Try that shit on the Conservatives. Kissinger himself did not bomb Cambodia. He merely advocated that Nixon order the Pentagon and USAF to do so. Thus, you could argue that it is the pilots who are to blame during the Vietnam War, or even the companies who manufactured the ordnance.

          And you would be wrong. You would be an idiot.

        • artem1s

          this. considering I really, really wish Condi Rice had paid more attention to what had been going on with her predecessors and paid just a little attention to the things they thought were important, I will never fault a SOS for finding out as much as s/he can from the people who worked the job before them. Sanders thinking he can do it all by himself is exactly the reason I don’t support the ‘know nothings’ on the other side of the aisle. TYVM

      • orygoon

        Is she above reproach? Uh, perhaps not? I vote in elections anyway, but never for Jesus, as he has not been on the ballot ever. And fyi, Fucking Bernie Sanders isn’t the messiah. That’s in his disciple’s minds, such as they are, only. Take off his shoes and you’ll find clay.

        • bluicebank

          Uh, you probably are not aware on many levels why that would be offensive to both Jews and Christians. What you just said.

          Perhaps you would like to throw in a slant against Hindus and Buddhists as well?

          • orygoon

            Oh honey, take a couple of aspirins and have a lie-down. You’ll feel better eventually.

          • IdRatherBeDancing

            Seriously. The butthurt is strong with that one. Sweet Jesus.

          • orygoon

            I’d be dripping with sympathy if I had never supported a losing candidate, but this is not my first election.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Not to mention the poorly-written and repetitious ranting is causing me to seriously question the poster’s claim to have worked as an (award-winning!) journalist. Hmm.

          • bluicebank

            Reminds me of an old Stones’ song, baby cakes (since you’ve called me “honey” we might as well get cozy, luv)

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9N6Oq8ZaBDU

  • jmhm

    The undead ghost of St Ronnie has pretty much endorsed Clinton. Predictably, the Trumpenkinder are going nuts.

    https://twitter.com/ReaganWorld/status/739957461784748032

    • The Wanderer

      Can we please lay that ghost to rest? I’ll supply the two-meter rod of leaded cold iron.

      • Alex Grey

        Yet they all forget that the highest marginal tax rate under St. Reagan “The Red’s” regime, was an America crushing 50%, more then 10% higher than it is now!

        • jmhm

          Well, he never was the candidate of the heavy thinkers. In fairness to his fans, though, they apparently remember him better than his son does.

        • malsperanza

          But, Welfare Queens!!!!!!!!

          • jmhm

            Eating steak in their cadillacs.

      • jmhm

        Can we hold off a couple of days? I’m really enjoying watching the faithful riot while Michael tries to reinvent his dad as someone who would never stoop to hate for political reasons.

        • The Wanderer

          We’ve waited this long. We just have to make sure that the rod goes through his heart and into native rock, so that the Evil can be earthed safely.

        • malsperanza

          Was Michael the one who had to sleep on the livingroom couch because they never got a house with a bedroom for him?

          • jmhm

            Not sure. Reagan and Jane Wyman adopted him in 1945 as an infant, and he went off to boarding school in the mid-fifties, so he probably wasn’t at dad and Nancy’s too much.

  • AnOuthouse

    The Hillz have eyes.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    Nothing left for the Bernie people than to write in the name of the only person who can save America:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IhbHTlOiX8

    • Alex Grey

      Old Handsome Joe!?!?

    • limberrat

      Oh, it is a parody. I now need to watch this show.

      • UnsaltedSinner

        “Veep” is on fire this season, if you ask me.

  • Lizzietish81

    But-but…MOMENTUM!

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      MOMENTum. Just not this moment.

      • DoILookAmused2u ?

        Not this Tum either.

  • bluicebank

    Just emailed the AP, asking where to mail the award they gave me in the ’90s for committing an act of journalism. I presume they haven’t the wit, so I’ll fish out ye olde gumshoes and open the Los Angeles pages, Yellow, then criss-cross directory them like back in the day when we had to track down a dude, and mail the dang thing.

    Probably should make it postage paid, signature required, blah, blah. Old school is the best school when you are simply, absolutely, pissed off that your once proud craft has been taken over by monkeys.

    • bluicebank

      omg, I almost forgot. I have pounds of glitter.

      Dear AP: I love you this much.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      You are taking this whole “sore loser” thing a bit too far.

      I survived the re-election of George W. Bush, and I didn’t throw a tantrum like a two year old.

      Was I sad? Yes. Did I lose faith there for a while? Yep.

      And that was a friggin big deal.

    • Astraea

      Months and months of the media fucking up on Trump and AP reporting news you don’t like is what destroys journalism forever?

      • bluicebank

        Naw. That started in the late 1970s. The demise of the AP was about the last straw.

        • jmhm

          Ron Fournier ran the political coverage for the AP for years. You only have a problem with the way they do business now?

          • bluicebank

            I had a problem with the AP back in the ’90s when they started cutting off their stringers. I see that you don’t know a thing about the AP. It’s a collaborative effort, or used to be. People not in the business think AP is (was) an actual media. It was a collective of stringers, organized and financed by members (such as the NYT on down to local pubs like mine at the time, owned by Gannett).

            My problem with the AP began even before the ’90s, when in the ’80s I met a war correspondent from Beirut who was gigging with me in South Los Angeles.

            Ron Fournier did a good job, but as with all good journalists, the door out was wide open.

            Are you here to defend the MSN and gainsay my hands-on relationship with the AP? Or are you simply casting about?

          • jmhm

            No, I’m saying that if you think a Republican hit man did a good job of orchestrating the AP’s handling of US politics, I think you should have handed that award back because they gave you an award.

          • bluicebank

            You are being obtuse, in assigning to me something I never said. I said the entire MSN has gone downhill, and that one of the last walls was the AP. Don’t be dense on the subject. If you want to defend today’s journalism, have at it, Hoss.

            But I can tell you from the inside, as it were, when it went downhill.

            So tell me, jmhm, am I wrong here? Is US journalism just peachy with you? Is the AP holding up its role in the 4th Estate? Do you even know what the 4th Estate means? Please do hold forth with me on the subject.

          • jmhm

            You missed “ad hominem”

          • bluicebank

            You missed that I’m voting today and you aren’t.

          • jmhm

            Nope. I think it’s been radiantly, abundantly clear where your vote was going for long enough that I’ve made my peace with it :)

          • bluicebank

            Actually, I haven’t indicated until now whether I had already voted. I had not said whether I mailed in my ballot. No matter, you are arguing with someone in California. Last time I checked, we didn’t give your state (whatever it is) shit before it voted.

            “I’ve made my peace with it :)”

            Passive aggressive.

          • jmhm

            No, fairly openly hostile. I just think you get to vote for the candidate you support. I know, it’s a strange idea. You get used to it after a while.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    Come one, come all and behold the Amazing Trumpanzus Medicine Show.

    Dr Donaldus Trumpanzus has travelled the 4 corners of the world to unlock the secrets of the ancient Druids, the ancient Mayans, the Kings of Egypt and the Mystics of the Orient.

    He has developed The Cure that will make you Great Again.

    How much does it cost, you ask? How much would you pay to be Great? You’d give just about everything you have, right? Funny, that’s the exact price.

    • The Wanderer

      If you’re hesitant, he has an army of Trumpanzees to entertain and harass you.

      • DoILookAmused2u ?

        What do you mean you lack funds? You have a credit card, right? I will help you call your credit card company and have them increase your credit limit right now. I’m dialing….

  • jmhm

    I’m sure the Peters family being connected had nothing to do with Judge Persky’s decision-making process.

    • The Wanderer

      Ah, the joys of having a politician in your corner.

      • Kavefish

        It’s better than having them in your back pocket.

        That just makes you sit lopsided.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      Laws and Judicial precedence: how do they work? ^^^

    • DoILookAmused2u ?
      • jmhm

        Oh, wow. I’m counting down how long it takes Trump to go after Maria Shriver.

        • The Wanderer

          He’s too much of a pussy to go after Ah-nuld.

          • DoILookAmused2u ?

            Ah-nuld is taking over his old show, “The Apprentice” on NBC.

            Wonder what Trump is going to do for a living after he loses?

          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            17k Dollars Last month..3-5 hours job a day…with weekly payouts..it’s realy the simplest. job I have ever Do.. I Joined This 7 months. ago. and now making over hourly. 87 Dollars…

          • TeeRaak

            In Germany, they can’t even fire you for stealing a pencil.

            His new tag line will be:

            “You’ll be back. Tomorrow.”

          • DoILookAmused2u ?

            Trolling, trolling, over the internetz.

            everybody in England has only one spoon, and if they lose it, they starve to death….

          • malsperanza

            In America, they can fire you for stealing a fucking pencil.

            How is that a good thing, again?

          • jmhm

            Pretty sure he can’t afford to retire.

            Maybe his son in law will give him a column for the Observer. That’s how they kept Ed Koch busy when his mind was going.

          • malsperanza

            Fox News commentator.

          • jmhm

            Which is kind of funny, because Ah-nuld cheerfully admits to overstaying his visa and working without a green card when he got here. And just to add that little extra bit of burn, he’s the new Celebrity Apprentice host, and he voted for Kasich.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      Oh, different judge.

  • Lizzietish81

    So of course Bernie is accusing Puerto Rico dems of fraud because that’s what he does. However PR Dems are accusing Bernie of supressing votes himself.

    http://www.inquisitr.com/3173097/did-bernie-sanders-suppress-voting-in-puerto-rico-officials-accuse-sanders-campaign-of-requesting-drastic-cut-in-polling-places-leading-to-long-lines/

    • The Wanderer

      In hindsight, reducing the number of caucus sites might not have been something Bernie wanted. Unintended consequences, you know.

      • jmhm

        However, in hindsight they also pretended they never asked, which is not cool.

        • DoILookAmused2u ?

          From about Feb on, Sanders ran a pretty sleazy campaign IMO.

        • Lizzietish81

          And in fact are accusing Hillary of doing exactly what they did

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            This conspiracy theory seems especially dumb, considering that it’s easily shown that the Sanders camp knew and requested the reduced polling places a month ago- not to mention, just like every other accusation they’ve made, there’s zero proof that any election day snafus would even benefit one candidate over another. It’s not like Hillary secretly told her base to vote early to avoid the crowds…

      • Lizzietish81

        It’s likely that this is true and accusing Clinton is just a reflex for him now.

    • Astraea

      So what I’m getting from this is that after being told repeatedly by Sanders and his supporters that he has brought millions of new voters to the party, is creating a revolution and energizing people to become politically involved, he can’t even get enough volunteers organized to make sure there are enough polling places.

      • limberrat

        Well, to be fair, he did cut back staff after getting his ass handed to him in the Northeast…I still don’t understand why since that is a sign you are dropping out, not continuing.

        • jmhm

          Unless your campaign is a machine to funnel donations to the people handling your ads and your internet presence. Then you cut back staff and pay for ads.

          • berkeleyfarm

            Is this what’s been happening? I’ll admit I checked out of a lot of the nitty-gritty because 1) my mind was made up early and 2) I had been going through enough other crap that I didn’t want to pay attention to it.

          • jmhm

            Well, Tad Devine, the guy who invented the super delegate system after insurgent candidates inconvenienced two of his candidates, is Sanders’ ad guy, two of his people who split off to do media buying are doing that, and the guys who ran Obama’s internet operation in 2008 are covering social media and internet. Between them they’ve collected a percentage of most of two hundred million dollars.

          • berkeleyfarm

            Welly, well, well, well.

          • jmhm

            Obviously that’s just my theory, and I’m a known cynic.

          • berkeleyfarm

            Do any of these people have a deep, long-standing aversion to Hillary and an interest in RFing her?

            I mean, Obama’s social media game was strong in ’08, so that was an A+ hire, but without the organizing backbone it sure wouldn’t have gone as far. You can’t fight a campaign with only your generals.

          • jmhm

            I’m not sure. David Axelrod ran her Senate campaigns, and he went with Obama when she (Bill) chose someone else for her presidential run. I’ve always thought the viciousness of that campaign had a lot to do with revenge.

          • Kavefish

            If I were conspiracy minded, I might speculate that somehow this was all devised as a blackmail plan against Bernie by his own election team, and so I’m left to wonder what that blackmail material might actually be…

        • malsperanza

          If the donations drop off precipitously, you kind of have to stop paying people.

    • Rowen

      Are you fucking kidding me? I’m sick of the same people bitching about emails being ok with this shit. Though, to be fair, most of them are just ignorant. But, really. Hillary can’t just win. She had to “cheat” or “steal” the election.

    • orygoon

      Oh god not the inquisitr.

    • Kavefish

      The added bonus of this link is the “new, fourth-state for water” article at the bottom of that page.

  • Fly

    The math is strong with this one.

  • Juan de Fuca

    O/T/ random –
    My favorite Republican (Ana Navarro) is going off on Jeffery Lord now on CNN. Pretty sure she broke into Spanish during some of her rant against that douche bag. Love that girl. GOP or not,whatever.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      That was pretty awesome- she read him the fucking riot act. Lord can go piss up a rope…

      • Juan de Fuca

        Yup. First time I’ve ever seen Lord speechless. She kicked that punks ass. Holy fuck that was good.

  • Lizzietish81
  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    Gary Nock covering Levi Weaver for this Morning:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlkrPfLy9FY