SHARE
Yes really she made this face.
Yes really she made this face.

UH OH, here comes Sen. Elizabeth Warren, smashing Donald Trump’s nutz with a mallet and a gavel and an anvil and some rocks, the way she always does lately! She spoke to the Massachusetts Democratic Party State Convention, and YOU BET it was glorious. For real, YOU BET, because Warren says “You bet!” a million times in this speech.

Press play on the video so you can see Trump get YOU BETTED a million times by Warren. We guess that is her way of saying YA BURNT!

Did you watch the video? Ugh, do you ever? OK, here are some quick highlights, so you don’t feel like A Idiot when you are discussing the latest Elizabeth Warren smackdown speeches with Fran at the watercooler at your office:

The Best Goddamn Quote In The Whole Thing:

When he gets called out by his own former students, or by his own employees … what does Trump do at that point? Does he man up and take his licks? Does he offer people their money back? No! No, no. He whines about the press, he whimpers about the students, and he complains that the judge doesn’t like him. Well Donald, it’s time to stop sniveling and put on your big boy pants because this is what accountability feels like!

Bow down, all ye gathered at the feet of Queen Elizabeth of Massachusetts, BOW DOWN.

More Amazeballs Quotes, For Lazy-Asses Or People Who Aren’t Allowed To Watch Elizabeth Warren Smash Trump Nutz At Work:

Did we mention you should watch this for yourself? You should. Really.

  • “Every day there is another story or another incident that completely disqualifies him from being president. Every day there is another piece of evidence that exposes this small, insecure money-grubber, who just doesn’t care about anyone but himself.”
  • “Rather than investing in high quality instructors and counselors [for the skeezy Trump University] Donald Trump put together an army of salespeople. It was like a used car dealership, except that’s unfair to used car dealerships.”
  • “Trump University failed, and that’s no surprise. Think — Trump Airlines; Trump Steaks; Trump Magazines; Trump Vodka; Trump Casinos; Trump Mortgage; Trump Games; Trump Travel; Trump Ice; Trump Network; Trump Radio Segment; and Trump New Media Company. Donald Trump is a proven businessman — A PROVEN FAILURE.”

Are you like jizzing in your bunk yet? Do we need to give you some privacy?

Here’s a quote about how awesome the Democrats are, unlike that sad weenus loser boy Donald Trump:

I’m proud to be a Democrat in this election, proud of the debate that Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton have had. … Proud that our party doesn’t debate over who has the tiniest hands, or who can build the longest, tallest, STUPIDEST wall between here and Mexico. But let’s be clear: This election isn’t just about Trump’s ugly racism, his disgusting sexism and his small …

DID SHE SAY PENIS? No, she’s not a fucking Republican. She said something different, but you have to watch the video to find out what it is, and all the other amazing things she said, also too.

Did She Make Fun Of Naked Former Senator Scott Brown For No Reason Too?

Yes, she did! If you’ll remember, Liz Warren beat Scott Brown in Massachusetts, and then he tried to run for the Senate in New Hampshire and got his hard nipples handed to him there too, by a different Democrat. So Warren, before she launched into giving Trump the business, made fun of Brown for LOLs:

Neither Ed Markey nor I is up for re-election this year, and so far Scott Brown hasn’t found another Senate race to lose …

Aw, Lizzie, you warm our hearts!

For Real, Can She Be Hillary’s Running Mate?

We dunno, ask Hillary! But that would be kinda cool! Or maybe Hillz will just create a new cabinet position for her, where all she has to do is smash Republican nutz!

OW OW OW, ALL THIS TALK OF NUTZ-SMASHING IS MAKING US HURT IN THE DOWN-THERES, STOP IT!

For real, we were just noticing that it was doing that to us too!

POST OVER.

[Elizabeth Warren Facebook via The New Civil Rights Movement]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • kareemachan

    Trumpette is gonna try to sue her so hard, so yuuuuuuge it’ll make her head spin!

    Lulz, good luck, donnie.

  • Lulu Mac

    I can’t contain my lady boner…

    • Msgr_Moment

      Don’t poke my eye out!

    • aureolaborealis

      Pro tip: The judge won’t accept that argument.

      • Lulu Mac

        ..

      • Lulu Mac

        Judge Persky will…(sorry, too soon)

  • Joshua Norton

    Well Donald, it’s time to stop sniveling and put on your big boy pants because this is what accountability feels like!

    Let’s face it. If Trump is elected, things will be continually ramped up to defcon 1. It will be like living through 4 years of the Cuban Missile Crisis.

    • Spurning Beer

      “If you have a missile crisis that lasts more than four years,….”

  • AntiDerpomeme

    Yeah, but she said a thing about Indian heritage one time and as you can tell by looking at her, she’s WHITE! So there!

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Today, we are all gay for Elizabeth Warren. Well, all but one of us.

    • dslindc

      Probably tomorrow, also too.

  • I don’t want her as the vice president. She’s fine where she is: kicking ass in the otherwise worthless body known as the Senate.

    • Joshua Norton

      IKR? People tend to act like her and Hilary would be co-presidents and nothing could be further from the truth. The VP basically goes into their office, closes the door and comes out 4 years later if nobody has died.

      We need her in the Senate.

      • Jay Vaughn

        You better watch yo ass OHJ gonna get you.

    • SadDemInTex

      We need her in the Senate.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      I have the same feelings about Sherrod Brown. He’d be a great VP, a “ticket balancer,” an asset for winning Ohio, etc. But he’s too darn good in the Senate to just yank him outta there.

      We need to start cloning these people.

      • DemmeFatale

        Also a great future president.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          I was thinking that too. 2024 ain’t all that far away, and the VP slot is a not-terrible springboard to the presnitzy. (Bush 1 won his election, as did Gore)

    • DemmeFatale

      You can look at VP as a stepping stone to the presidency.
      I know she’s valuable in the Senate, and that a Reep might replace her, but what a president she’d be!

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Part of the reason we have all the messes that plague us today is that Democrat’s focus on the Presidency as if it’s an emperor and ignore Congress and state offices and legislatures, while the Republicans have grabbed a majority of those and use them to prevent anything from being accomplished on the federal level while advancing their agendas on the state and local levels. There are three branches of government, and we need to focus on all three.

    • PUAAN

      Senate majority leader?
      (Oh, please please please please)

  • Rick Hill

    She sure knows how to make a zinger sting.

  • TeeRaak
  • alwayspunkindrublic

    No doubt Trump will respond with something witty, like calling her Pocahontas-the one Native American he’s ever heard of-and miming an Indian war dance.

    • Lulu Mac

      Not gonna lie…I kinda want to see this.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I’m amazed he hasn’t done a sneering imitation of Stephen Hawking’s infirmities yet. Or maybe he has, but I got lucky and missed it.

        • Querolous

          Not Stephen, but there was Serge.

    • SigDeFlyinMonky

      Lacross, one on one, Warren vs. Trump. Loser, and we know who that will be, gets flayed and his hide gets nailed up on the side of the barn.

  • Lizzietish81

    AS horrifying as Trump is, I can’t wait to see how the GOP will up the ante in 2020.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Unless they run Reanimated Dick Cheney, it doesn’t seem possible.

      • Lulu Mac

        Was he animated to begin with?

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          “Cheney 2020: This time with a heart that beats!”

          • Mary Sandoras

            But a heart darkened by his soulless vessel.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Ramsey Bolton 2020!

    • Rick Hill

      How many D list candidates will use the Turnip model? Democracy shudders….

      • bupkus23

        Even downticket D-listers are already channeling Trump – e.g. Florida Republican Senate nomination hopeful Carlos Beruff ( he of the “Obama is an animal” gaffe ). His ads are all about how he’s “a businessman, not a politician” – my answer has been, “So why are you becoming a politician, then?”

        Despite spending a ton of money ( more than $3M by Memorial Day, most of which is his own, not donations – so far the biggest Senate spender this year ) on TV ads around the state since he entered the race in March, which bought him the current lead for the Republican nomination ( at 17% ), with 49% of Republicans undecided as yet. Smart business sense, huh? As it is, with the dubious talk of Rubio flip-flopping and entering the race to get re-elected, half of the Florida electorate is supposedly orgasming at the prospect.

        Link: http://www.politico.com/states/florida/story/2016/06/florida-poll-murphy-and-beruff-lead-but-half-of-voters-want-rubio-for-reelection-102511

        “FloridaMan” disease clearly includes voters here….

    • Spurning Beer

      Ironically enough, the slogan being considered for 2020 is “Vote GOP: Up the Auntie!”

      • arglebargle

        So, a Duggar ticket then?

    • Skwerl King

      I believe their response will be to double-down, because like repealing Obamacare, it might just work this time.
      ____________

      Vote Whig in 2024!

      • OddMan

        “Vote Whig in 2024!”
        Shoot, who needs the man below, let’s just elect his hair.
        If we can catch it.

    • Msgr_Moment

      “But we haven’t really nominated a real conservative yet. Yeah, that’s the ticket.”

      • Rick Hill

        They all start out well but quickly start grabbing all the cash they can. How selfish of them…

        • Rick Hill

          Self reply(Don’t come in!):
          Which assplains Turnip’s appeal. Back when Tundra Barbie came on the scene, everone thought “Oh, look! A conservative from the frozen wastes, untainted by the foul corruption that grips Washington. (hahahahaha….Suckers)
          Now they think: “Turnip has all the monies, there’s no way he’s going to be corrupted by THAT! (haahahaha….suckers)

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Conservatism cannot fail; it can only be failed.

    • arglebargle

      Just ask Bill Kristol. He’ll know.

      • Rick Hill

        Now, that’s just being cruel….

      • Lulu Mac

        Who?

    • Lefty Frizzell

      They do have a problem in that Trump has shown that with the current process in place the ignorant loud mouthed bigot will win every time, and they don’t know how to change the process because they set it up in the first place to do that, they just assumed he would be one they could control.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Doocy/Kilmeade 2020

    • JMP

      Fake redneck duck dude 2020!

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Do they have any governors left who haven’t run already and failed? Nikki Haley?

      • JMP

        Trump has already said that he’s not going to pander by choosing a woman or a minority for VP, though; because pandering to bigoted white men somehow isn’t pandering.

    • MrBlobfish

      Victoria Jackson/Pat Sajak 2020

      • Lulu Mac

        Oh, dear God…

      • Playonwords

        If that becomes reality I will crucifer you. Probably with a brassica.

      • Rick Hill

        Chuck Woolery/Dan Quayle 2020

        • Paul Julian Gould

          Had to step away and barf a little at these… Some things need to come with a warning emoji… just sayin’…

    • bupkus23

      Geez – it’s bad enough when the press Village starts talking about the next election before the current is even history, but Wonketteers are?

      Focus, Lizzie, focus… ;-)

    • nothingisamiss

      I was just thinking about this over morning coffee. John Kerry elitist and went to Vietnam? Vote Bush. Obama elitist and “angry” and “terrorist”? Vote the cool hand stylings of John McCain. Michelle O out of touch and spends too much money on her lavish Hawaiian vacation? I bring you Egg Romney. Now it’s Hillary, that crook, against Donald Trump, who embodies every lie against the last three nominees, speaks of his dating in the sixties as his “Vietnam,” embroiled in a fraud lawsuit with the temperament of a two year old.

      • artem1s

        It’s sure to be Darryl Issa’s year to be humiliated. again. by his own party. so maybe Gowdy Doody?

    • Beaumarchais?

      My great fear is that they’ll zag in the opposite direction and nominate Charlie Baker, the surprisingly reasonable governor of Massachusetts. He’s currently enjoying a 70% approval rating of all governors, and in a blue state at that. It could be a real problem.

  • Mpeg

    “whines… whimpers..”

    Well can there be any doubt whom Trump’s running mate should be? If the diaper fits, wear it! https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/8/87/Nydailynews_newt.jpg

    • Spurning Beer

      Whiny Ass Titty Baby/Whiny Ass Titty Baby 2016!

    • NorthStarSpanx

      Serial marital infidel Newt decided to Impeach the President for his dalliances because of this, Trump decided to run for POTUS because Obama humiliated him at the Nerd Prom a few years ago. Man, these guys watershed moments are extremely selfish.

    • MrBlobfish

      Not so fast. Trump is disappointed that Newt says he should zip it on the judge. No one tells Trump what to do.

  • borninatrailer

    “Neither Ed Markey nor I is up for re-election this year, and so far Scott Brown hasn’t found another Senate race to lose …”

    Savage! Our congresswoman from Massachusetts is the best. She really is. Very high energy.

  • Vecciojohn LLC

    Liz smash!

  • AngryBlakGuy
  • Msgr_Moment

    Only 24 comments so far? All right, everybody out of your bunks!!

    • I’m scared I might piss off Elizabeth Warren.

    • Paul Julian Gould

      Grab yer socks and drop yer….

      Never mind… that was Basic Training…

    • George Kaplan

      I think it may be because people have pretty much figured out that Warren’s “got this”.

      Nothing anyone could add would be an improvement.

  • Ryan Denniston

    I don’t want her as VP. She’s far more effective as a Senator, and as we all know, if you’re VP you have to act all presidential and stuff. Same goes with the candidates too, just look at that Trump comport himself.

    • Rick Hill

      Which reminds us, who will Turnip pick for his running mate? (Can you really buy popcorn sales? Or should it be interwebs shares we should be buying?)

      • Lizzietish81

        It would have to be someone who people despise more than him.

        • Rick Hill

          I’ve still got my money on The Rock as his pick

        • OddMan

          According to polls, that would be either cockroaches or hemorrhoids for VP.

          • Rick Hill

            No, not even those. Right now leeches and Ebola are poling higher than Turnip

          • AnOuthouse

            I’m leaning toward the black chick from the Apprentice.

        • JMP

          psst psst – Chris Christie whispers to Trump how low his poll numbers are, just saying.

      • I saw Bob Corker this morning on the TV (thanks, Mika and Joe!) and when asked about Trump he went into a spitting conniption fit about how Hillary created the middle east mess and killed all the babbies. Also: The Media is so mean to Trump it makes him lash out sometimes like a big baby dignified leader.

        So, yeah, he’s still waiting by the phone.

      • JMP

        With their shared treatment of women as nothing but sex objects, racism, obsession with the use of force and explosions, superficial worship of the US military, and popularity among idiots, I still think his perfect running mate would be Michael Bay.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        He’ll be the first person to pick himself as his own VP. His ego will allow no less.

        • Lulu Mac

          This is actually, for realsies, entirely possible.

        • JMP

          Is Ivanka 35? Because I honestly would not be surprised if he’d pick her or one of his Patrick Bateman looking sons.

          • Latverian Diplomat

            She turns 35 just days before the election.

      • Playonwords

        I’m not sure he has any idea of who his VP will be, this is not a man who likes sharing the limelight with anyone else. Even Sarah Palin is probably too well known for him to feel comfortable.

      • Ryan Denniston

        My hope is Charlie Sheen, but we might have to settle for Sister Sarah.

        • Rick Hill

          If he picks her, want to make a bet, at some point, she comes out to from backstage with makeup over a shiner?

          • Playonwords

            From Turnip or Todd?

          • Rick Hill

            As if Todd has teh stones….

      • Tallmutha

        Chris Christie has already demonstrated a willingness to be shockingly humiliated and ask for more, so I don’t count him out. But something tells me Trump looks at how needy he is and passes him by just to be cruel.

      • bupkus23

        To me, it’s sounding more and more like it’ll be Newt the Toad. Apparently, Gingrich brought Sheldon Adelson into the Trump camp, and he might be the only one who keep him there. Trump by himself ain’t Israel-fanatic enough for Adelson…

        • Playonwords

          But what if Ivanka kisses him … ?

          • bupkus23

            I think sexual appeal is just a distant memory to Adelson.Unless she converts and/or gets Israeli ciizenship….

      • Blank Ron

        I get the sense he is probably enjoying the fawning and ass-kising he’s getting from people who want the job. He might hold off as long as he can before announcing, just to get as much of it as he can.

        • Rick Hill

          Ever the showman….

        • Celtic_Gnome

          He’s already said he doesn’t plan to announce the VP pick until the last night of the convention, because you don’t reveal the winner of the reality show until the final episode.

          • Blank Ron

            Clearly he’s anticipating being sucked up to in front of an audience.

      • Invidosa

        I theorize he will nominate his own tiny cock, no one else is qualified of course.

    • Lizzietish81

      This. Keep her where she is and allow her to do what she does best.

      • DemmeFatale

        But if you take the long view, couldn’t VP be presidential training?
        I would love to see her as president.

    • JMP

      Plus somehow Massachusetts ended up with a Republican governor despite being one of the most liberal states in the nation (that somehow being the Democrats being idiots and nominating the same horrible campaigner who gave the Senate seat to Scott Brown). She’s doing great where she is; no need to change that.

      • pluky

        We periodically pick Republican governors as a check on the Democratic machine that otherwise pretty much runs the Commonwealth. Other than Romney, it’s worked pretty well so far.

      • Historicat

        Scott Brown is tanned, rested, and ready!

  • schmannity

    This Trump judge drama makes me wonder what a reasonable hourly rate would be to be Trump’s lawyer. I’ve know bankruptcy lawyers who charge $1500 an hour, but I don’t think that would touch it. Imagine how unpleasant the next hearing will be after two weeks of “he’s a Mexican and I’m building a wall.” On top of that, your client takes to the media every time there is an adverse ruling. Summary judgment is appropriate only in the absence of justiciable issues of law or fact. Yet, “many people,” that is, Trump knob polishers, have told him he should have been summaried out. Advice to your client not to talk about the case outside of court and create more cross examination material? Forget about it. Settle a case on reasonable terms? Impossible. Oh, it’s not as though there might be Hispanics on a jury. What’s Trump going to do, insist on an all white jury like To Kill A Mockingbird?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Word is that Trump personally harangued his surrogates to double down on Judge Curiel and accuse critics and the press of being…wait for it…”the real racists”. Very presidential!

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        I forsee many more RNC rats jumping ship ala the minority outreach lady.
        For…some reason. Personal reasons. Certainly nothing at all to do with the hair apparent.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Saw Michael Steele last night-somewhat clueless but seemingly decent enough of a guy-just shake his head and faceplant.

          • Playonwords

            Whilst the idea of Michael Steele faceplanting is pleasant in a slapstick comedy way, I think you might have meant “facepalm

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            No…he actually fell lifeless from his desk and landed face first on the cold, hard tile.

  • Scooby

    Don’t forget if she vacates the Republican Governor will probably pick her replacement.

  • NorthStarSpanx

    At least she wasn’t saying “You betchya!”

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    Are you sure she needs something as large as a mallet, gavel or anvil for this?

  • Msmlg1979

    All he will come back with are tired old insults. He can’t see that Liz is waaaaaay out of his league.

    • Invidosa

      Fucker reminds me of this particular episode of Kitchen Nightmares. The chef/owner (Sebastian in case you were wondering) would get into the arguement with Gordon Ramsay wherein Ramsay would eviscerate his ass, after which Sebastian would strut away saying “I won that one”

      TLDR: some people are too fucking stupid and self aggrandizing to know when they’ve had the shit stomped out of them!

    • aureolaborealis

      Oh, he sees her as out of his league, all right.
      “It’s really disgusting. She’s a five, tops. Pathetic. And old. What a loser.”

  • anwisok

    I can’t think of another time I’ve felt so comfortable with the notion of nut-smashing.

    • Jonny On Maui

      It’s okay once you get past the OHGODNOPLEASENOTMINE part…

  • Randy Riddle

    It’s not really an insult unless she mentions his short fingers.

    • Msmlg1979

      There’s so much material! You could insult the man truthfully and daily for weeks and never repeat the same one.

      • Blank Ron

        He invites abuse. It would be impolite to refuse.

  • JMP

    Donald will again retort by calling Warren “Pocahontas”, because apparently using racist insults against her for having a bit of Native American ancestry is just hilarious for some reason.

    • MrBlobfish

      His fans eat it up cuz it ain’t PC.

      • Playonwords

        Which leads me to wonder why they prefer being wrong to correct?

        • Blank Ron

          They don’t know they’re wrong. They’ve been told their whole lives that they’re the Good Guys.

        • Meccalopolis

          Yes because pissing off liberals is far more important

          • theCryptofishist

            So, we’re back at, what wretched little lives they have…

    • Celtic_Gnome

      I like the fact that the goofy nickname didn’t catch on. He was batting a thousand with his primary opponents. Then, he crossed paths with Professor Warren.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Trump’s campaign has descended to such a level of petty, idiotic vindictiveness that, for once in her life, $arah’s thinking “I’m not in over my head!”.

    • Playonwords

      As long as she’s not thinking “I’ll never quit”

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Sarah thinking? Not likely…

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Well, “thinking” in that primordial, single-celled way that she does.

      • Doug Langley

        I’m sure it wasn’t intentional.

  • MrBlobfish

    Good story from MSNBC about Trump’s lack of a campaign strategy or staff. No one can tell him what to do. He figures that what got him thru the primaries is good enough for the general. He’s not gonna stop going after the judge cuz it will look like he’s backing down. Heartwarming.

    • Msgr_Moment

      • Paul Julian Gould

        I’d only offer that we need to discuss what variety of mushrooms we’re talking about here…

        Some are fun… others will clean your clock… Once again, just sayin’…

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      As I said the other day, “the lens of his own malice”. He assumes everyone in the country is as bigoted as he is.

      • aGuyInOregon

        Sadly, there are a lot more of them than I’d thought.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          That has been a disturbing revelation, although nothing that any person of color wouldn’t have told you all along. I suppose it is good, in some ways, to know who they are.

      • Blank Ron

        To the extent that he believes there’s ‘other people’ besides himself.

      • Thaumaturgist

        Perhaps everyone in his base is as bigoted as he is. Perhaps those who really aren’t that bigoted are willing to overlook it because he speaks their language.

    • Jim Johnson

      Trump campaign organization = garbage fire, they say. Enjoy the conflagration!

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      And this is a surprise? Kinda from left field!

    • NorthernSaber

      Screw up your courage and wander over to NewsMax (sorry-have to keep tabs on the enemy…), where just this morning they ran with a leaked meeting in which Drumpf was telling his surrogates to “…get the judge and then go after the media”. Honest to Thor, we have a living, breathing Crypto-Fascist on the GOP ticket- and lots of folks are fine with that (especially out in the alarmingly-rural section of Maine in which I live.)

      • Villago Delenda Est

        And NewsMax cheers him on.

        • NorthernSaber

          That’s the tricky part, I think. At this point I can’t keep straight who over on the side of Darkness supports Trump and who is still in the “Never Trump” camp. The NewsMax folks were pretty clear about this info being leaked out of a meeting, and that there had been objections to what he said.. Didn’t exactly seem like an “atta boy” to me, but little makes sense these days.

      • Thaumaturgist

        This is the heart of the matte. We know the judge is biased because he refuses to dismis the case. So what is the most likely cause of that bias?

      • The Wanderer

        He thinks he can run things like his two friends who helped erect Trump Tower, Fat Tony Salerno and Paul Castellano (of the Gambino and Genovese Families).

      • George Kaplan

        I usually get my weekly dosage of anti-venom from WND, Breitbart, or NRO comments sections.

        Forgot about NewsMax … might have to go trolling over there for a while.

    • Doug Langley

      As opposed to Hillary, who’s built a Mission Impossible team of analysts, IT specialists, marketeers, and opposition researchers. I almost feel sorry for the poor guy.

      • Blank Ron

        Don’t worry. He’ll open his mouth and you won’t have to any more.

        • Doug Langley

          What part of “almost” can I clarify for you?

      • Invidosa

        I don’t. I enjoy his pain and delicious, impotent tears. It’s like ambrosia to me ;)

    • Michael Smith

      Say you know who else had shocking early successes by not listening to advisors, but then when things got complicated and he needed to listen to them, he had developed an undue sense of infallibility and it ultimately destroyed him and tore his nation in two for decades?

      • theCryptofishist

        Edward VIII?

      • Historicat

        I can’t quite remember … my memory will be my Downfall.

    • Looks like you believed the enemedia presslitutes. HA! HA!

  • Creepoman

    Ow My Balls!

    • MrBlobfish

      Ow his balls is right. Plus they’re getting kicked by gurlz!

  • Incoming Ham
  • John Iwaniszek

    MOAR NUTZ STOMPING!

  • Blackest Noobs

    The ladies are KILLING IT.

    and about godamn time!!!!

    next we need a Puerto Rican lesbian to rule them all…ok ok im getting a bit too progressive for our shitty society, but this is the starting line…things will CHANGE.

  • BMW

    New cabiney position? How about Secretary of the newly created U.S. Department of Putting Feet Up the Ass of Big Business?

  • bubbuhh

    Geezoweee!!!! The Beauty of the Brains comes shining through

    • MKEMax

      I am increasingly convinced that Elizabeth Warren is secretly a time-traveling Hannah Hart from the future. https://twitter.com/harto

  • beatbort

    Reminds me of an old joke
    Don’t. Stop. Don’t! Stop! Don’t stop don’t stop don’t stop don’t stop….

    • Playonwords

      Reminds me of the old rhyme:
      She offered her honour
      He honoured her offer
      and all of the night
      It was honour and offer.

      • Invidosa

        I’m putting that shit on a sampler!!

        (Believe it or not, needle work is a beloved pass time when I’m not cackling madly or. . . Doing what I do for a living)

        • Playonwords

          My Best Beloved is on Ravelry.

  • Jim Johnson

    We need more statements like that about Drumpf’s whiney, whimpering, thin-skinned, man-baby tantrums and blame-shifting. This hate-filled, psychopathic, narcissist needs a lot moar humiliation until the pitchforks and torches come out in droves. But let’s hope the Republicans don’t wise up too soon and eject this creep from their convention and put up a different GOP creep. He needs to be exposed all the way to his epic defeat in November.

  • Jamsie

    What a STAR!

    (the camera guy drunk or something?)

  • calliecallie

    “Bow down, all ye gathered at the feet of Queen Elizabeth of Massachusetts…”
    The privilege of living in the reign of this Queen is almost enough to tempt me to move back east.

    • willi0000000

      stay where you are . . . find your own Elizabeth Warren and do some electing right where you are!

      • calliecallie

        We did our part! Our Democrat Gary Peters was the only new Democratic Senator in the last election!

  • nightmoth

    No to VP. We really do need her in the Senate. Unfortunately, almost everybody who’s being floated as a running mate is a Senator, except for the Castro twins: either one would be fine, I think, as they’re both smart and political.

    • Jeff in the desert

      Castro twins? You talkin’ about them commie bros in Cuba? Fidel and Raul? Shit the obvious commie left wing influence here is staggering. I would think that the FBI or CIA is knocking at your door bud…..when Trump wins he’ll stop this shit……………………..they are no more eligible to be Prez than that Kenyan guy…..

    • Courser

      Colorado Governor John Hickenlooper. Awesome guy and quietly preparing for the VP nod. He’s doing book signings now for his book “The Opposite of Woe”

      :::end shameless plug:::

      • ClarkJoe

        Only problem with Hickenlooper is that his name wouldn’t fit on a bumper sticker. A governor from a western state would be ideal though.

        • Courser

          HILLZ/HICK 2016!!

          We’ve called him Gov Hick for years, no problem with it.

        • theCryptofishist

          How many are democrats? I suppose Washington and Oregon. Jerry’s too old.

          • ClarkJoe

            Oregon’s governor is both female and bisexual, so that’s probably a no go. The Washington governor is kind of a snooze and probably too ‘establishment’ to be a good compliment to Clinton. Steve Bullock of Montana? The independent governor of Alaska?

          • theCryptofishist

            I know so little that it’s good I can’t comment on Wonkette.

      • nightmoth

        I did see that name! Sounds like a good one.

  • ClarkJoe

    I saw Elizabeth Warren walking on State Street in Madison sometime last year. I just assumed she was Tammy Baldwin, until I did a double take. Is that profiling?

    • Jeff in the desert

      Just for a second, I thought this was going to be a quote from Warren Zevon……..Waaaahoooo Warren wolves in Bean town.

      • ClarkJoe

        Waaaahoooo sensible haircuts in Congress.

    • Courser

      Sorry. Put comment in wrong place

    • Meccalopolis

      And her hair was perfect

      • ClarkJoe

        Of course! Flawless, without being too flashy. Tammy has the exact same style. I bet they all go to the same salon and ask for “the Hillary.”

  • AnOuthouse

    Ballz!

  • Fly

    She tickles my left wing nut.

  • Pickwicknext

    I watched last night and this made me nothing but happy. So wonderful!

    • Jonny On Maui

      Were you the one that posted that last night?

      • Pickwicknext

        Yup! I am ahead of the curve for once!!

  • Indiepalin

    Warren is livid over rumors linking her romantically with a Captain John Smith of the Royal Navy.

    • jmhm

      Oh, because she has a native american ancestor? Well, that’s not racist and stupid at all. Thanks for dropping by to share.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        It’s snark. Calm down.

        • jmhm

          I’m reasonably calm. I’m just not a terrific audience for squaw humor.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      Are you Watters’ script writer?

    • HanBarbara

      Why can’t we ever get decent trolls around here?

      • At the corner, turn left

        All I know is they all get banhammered waaay before I find out about them.

        • SDGeoff

          I always get here in time to see comments deleted and read the remaining responses. I often think, “boy that one must have been a doozy”.

      • bubbuhh

        A decent troll would need a spot of originality, some intelligence, maybe, a genuine sense of humor and some empathy. That’s an almost impossible combo for the types who troll.

        • theCryptofishist

          In other words, a decent troll would be a pretty good non-commenter on yr wonkette. Maybe we are all trolls–very good trolls.

    • natoslug

      You need use a sledgehammer, not a razor blade, when snarking this early in the day or people will mistake it for trolling. I, for one, do not think you’ve gone over to the dark side, but then again, I usually don’t think.

    • Playonwords

      Captain John Smith was a Merchant Venturer and his was an Army rank.

      Matoaka, known as Amonute was never romantically linked to Smith because she was only 11.

      She took the name Rebecca, married John Rolfe (a planter) and died in Gravesend when she was 21

      Elizabeth Warren has some Cherokee heritage not Powhattan

  • Villago Delenda Est

    “Hit him with the chair, Liz!”

    • Objectifer

      Bury him with a front-end loader and beat him with a ladder.

      • JustDon’tSayDittos

        In this corner, in the green tights and don’t-fuck-with-me shoes, the Massachusetts Mauler, Elizabeth “Pork Chop” Warren!

        And in this corner, wearing the cross-stained diaper and orange finger extensions, the New York Nuisance, Donny “Believe Me” Drumpf.

    • Invidosa

      Elbow drop from the top rope! (I can only assume Liz is a Macho Man fan, she seems the type)

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Liz Warren is Queen of my Heart. But she needs to stay in the Senate.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    OK, so what I want to know is there SOMEONE in this country willing to change Teh Donald’s diapers?

    • Doug Langley

      You mean besides Chris Christie?

      • Mr. White

        Will Groom of the Stool be a cabinet-level appointment?

    • bupkus23

      David Vitter? Oops, you said “change” them – I thought you meant “wear” them…

  • At the corner, turn left

    Um, big white spot where video should be. Ghost in the machine?

    • Invidosa

      CONSPIRACY! trump is on your computer eating up all your Elizabeth Warrens!!

      • At the corner, turn left

        Thank you for a big laugh first thing in the morning. Still no video though. :0(
        Damn you, Trump!

  • MKEMax

    E-Dubs must have burned down her fuck silo, because she is giving none of them anymore!

    • Lulu Mac

      Behold the field in which I grow my fucks and ye shall see that it is barren…

      • arrrghle

        I ran out of fucks about the time I ran out of estrogen, so this is apropo.

  • The Librarian

    Bravo, Ms. Warren! Please keep speaking for those of us that can only speak about Trump in potty mouth language. You will always have my vote even if I don’t live in your state.

  • Jonny On Maui

    If anybody hasn’t said it yet, watch the video. Some lovely soul posted it yesterday and maybe sometime after I wake up I’ll search and find out who.

    I was left spent and pleased…

    • proudgrampa

      You’re up early…

      • Jonny On Maui

        Ms. On Maui is off to Oahu for a bronchoscopy. She’s not been doing very well. They’re trying to nail down what’s causing loss of lung function. We may be heading to Stanford, we’ll see…

        • proudgrampa

          Dude. You are in my thoughts. Give Ms. our best!

          • Jonny On Maui

            Thanks!

          • Paul

            You need a smile so please watch this. I got our pilot friend up in the air w/o an engine:

            https://vimeo.com/168674833

            All the best to you the Ms. we are pulling for you.

            ETA That’s not me flying her. I’m a rookie..He is literally one of the best pilots in the US.

            This is Rutland, VT., near herewhere I am in Western Mass

        • Master Contrail Program

          Best wishes to you and Ms. On Maui, Jonny.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Thank you!!

        • Pickwicknext

          Best wishes for Ms On Maui and for the rest of the house stuff today!

          • Jonny On Maui

            Thank you!

        • pianoplayer1

          I wish I could hug your and Ms. On Maui’s necks, as we say down here in Alabama. Bless your hearts!

          • Jonny On Maui

            ::hugs:: Thank you much!

        • Invidosa

          Oh no! Good energy to the Mrs. from me and the cat monster in Michigan!

          • Jonny On Maui

            Thank you! We can use it.

        • berkeleyfarm

          All the best for Ms. On Maui. Hoping you get a good diagnosis and soon.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Thank you :)

        • Biff52

          Man. I understand a bit about medical “tourism”, but I can’t imagine having to fly 2,500 miles for a specialist. All the best to you both!

          • Jonny On Maui

            She had the transplant at Stanford. As they were wheeling her in they pretty much said. “We own your ass from now on.” They are very protective of their work. I’m glad for that.

          • Biff52

            Ah, makes sense. I wasn’t aware of a transplant, other than the two of you transplanting yourselves to Kenya Maui.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Double lung transplant 5 years ago. Time to check the oil, rotate the tires and lube as required…

          • arrrghle

            oh my goddess double lung that’s the rolls royce of organ transplants! (And I hear those things last forever if you keep up with the service.)

          • theCryptofishist

            Yeah, watch out for those poachers from UCSF, they’ll grab her and put her on the machine that goes ping if you turn your back for a second.

        • hollydturner

          My thoughts go out to both of you. I’ll keep Ms. On Maui in the light.

          Holly

        • Lambsendbeds

          Sorry to hear this. My best to Ms. on Maui and you. Stay strong.

        • theCryptofishist

          If I were further west or south, I’d suggest a drinky thingy. I’m sure that there are people in or around Palo Alto who’d like to meet you.

        • Tania

          Im pretty sure if all us wonketeers checked under the cushions on the couch or the bottom of our handbags we could find enough change to upgrade you guys to first class flights or something posh. Knowing you probably wouldn’t let us at least keep the thought that if there’s anything we can do don’t hesitate to ask If it means flying you here to the country of socialised medicine – the spare room is available but the weather is crap at the moment.

    • Pickwicknext

      That was me!!

      • Jonny On Maui

        Last night right? Watched that and then our friend from Detroit showed up. It was magical!

        • Pickwicknext

          It was! Sometimes my youtube recommendations are worth sharing. (Seriously,I had that pop up in my recommendations cue from the corporate overlords)

  • proudgrampa

    I have this fantasy that one day will wake up and discover her shoes at the side of my bed. This is one of those things I do not share with proudgramma.

    • Playonwords

      Well proudgramma might feel the same way toward Hansome Old Joe Biden

      • proudgrampa

        Hmmm. You might not be far off the mark…

  • Thaumaturgist

    Successful realtors can make more money selling real estate than they can teaching people how to compete with them. So how could Trunp get qualified people to teach? Offer tenure the very first year?

    • bupkus23

      It’s likely the “teachers” were scammed, as well – “profit sharing” promises or maybe the type of “multi-level marketing” pyramids like Amway….

      • theCryptofishist

        ‘… “multi-level marketing” grain storing pyramids like Amway…’
        FIFY

    • BeachBum

      $$$$ “The problem is not that everyman has his price, but usually the price is so low.”

  • Paul Julian Gould

    Thank you, Evan, for this…

    Looks like I’ve found a new place to hang out… I’ll try to be a good guest and not crap on the furniture…

    I’ve not spent much time on this blog, but damned if it doesn’t feel like home…

    Just sayin’, and I return you to your regularly scheduled snarky goodness…

    • JustDon’tSayDittos

      And welcome to you. Bar’s over there——————>
      Snark away, and don’t forget there’s a bonus for dick jokes!

      • Paul Julian Gould

        Thankee sai… just that my tastes run towards decent herbal essence and Miller High Life (32’s preferred, as much as that may gross some folks out… Sue me… like the taste is all)

        Have been known for the occasional dick joke, but quite seldom… But I’ve learned a few… just can’t share ’em in good conscience as I learned a lot of ’em here, and that would just be gilding the lily… Or rather, my tastes run more toward orchids… Didn’t Lazarus Long ruminate that certain things really do resemble orchids? And he pronounced them “Lovely.” *grin*

        • Invidosa

          Oh no worries, we’re big fans of cheap booze in these parts! *Snatches up her box of sweet white plonk to mix in her coffee* Enjoy the water and lease don’t pee in the pool . . . much

          • Last Hussar

            I’m not. I want good quality booze.

      • Last Hussar

        Shit, I’m on the wrong side of the table – the Bar is<————————–

        • JustDon’tSayDittos

          Oh, so you’re the bartender today? What kind of gin we got?

          • Last Hussar

            http://www.caorunngin.com/
            This is proper nice. £25 a bottle (?$40)- Don’t need a lot of tonic in it- you can almost drink it neat.

    • Mickey Donovan

      And please remember, comments are not allowed here.

    • Pickwicknext

      And if you have any Python/Princess Bride/Archer/Hitchhiker’s Guide/Pratchett/MLP references to throw in, they won’t go amiss

      • Paul Julian Gould

        Yes, yes, no yes, no, no…

        Got whole databases of 1,2 and 4 stashed in my wetware, which tend to expose themselves at the most awkward moments… Toss a bit of Carlin, Cheech & Chong and Emo P. in the mix, and I’m surely doomed, or at least hanging out with the right crowd, finally…

        • Pickwicknext

          Welcome aboard!

        • Paul Julian Gould

          … and, on further thought, I’ve been known to quote Sheriff Bart on occasion (the late Mr. Little is gone on, but Bart lives forever), pretty much any role of Mr. Wilder, and I’ve got a whole sorted spreadsheet in my head of Mel Brooks’ scripts…

          We start talking Dark Star or Buckaroo, though… then we’re having a conversation…

          • theCryptofishist

            I reference 1066 and All That, but they fall flat. Gilbert and Sullivan, however.

            And someone must do Schweikj–I never finished reading it, so I don’t catch it, however.

        • Lambsendbeds

          Emo! Emo! Emo!

          • Paul Julian Gould

            I’d offer, but this is one of those days where it wasn’t worth chewing through the leather straps…

            Y’see how it is…

    • Jonny On Maui

      Welcome Paul. Pants are optional until you’re comfortable. Once you’re comfortable you can kiss them goodbye…

      • Paul Julian Gould

        I’m either quite comfortable now, or just doing laundry (I rock as a house-husband)

        So, pantless, Miller- and herbalized, here I find myself…

        • Jonny On Maui

          …in exactly the right place!

      • JH Marx

        I am sitting completely naked in front of my computer – my defense against hackers remotely accessing my camera.

      • BeachBum

        Aaah Man, now you tell me ! Is there a secret handshake I’m missing too ?

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Just make sure you never post a comment. As we keep telling noobs over and over and over, comments are not allowed.

      • Paul Julian Gould

        I won’t violate that tenet… and this is not a comment and damn you if you think differently…

  • tehbaddr

    Actually, a was chatting up Fran at the watercooler, trying to convince her to let me buttsech her, so I don’t gay buttsechs. Just like the AFA guys!

    • Barley_Brains

      You’ll score. Fran is totally into it.

      • theCryptofishist

        Careful though, Fran is a little over-hydrated. You do not want to burst her.

      • tehbaddr

        Ah, I like a woman “open” to new adventures, or revisited ones anyway!

  • Callyson

    Did you watch the video?

    Just enough of it to motivate me to finish my coffee and get my ass out for today’s “IDGAF what the media told you, get the fuck out and vote today!” drive. Go Elizabeth!

  • Objectifer

    Gotta say, the shot at Scott Brown seems unnecessary. No need to sink to their level.

    • Pickwicknext

      Meh. It was a state party conventuon speech. It’s more pandering, but it was funny

    • bupkus23

      Sinking to their level would have been questioning Scott Brown’s sexual preferences or his aging looks – maybe saying he would be the next centerfold for “Playcrone” magazine….

    • Invidosa

      Although I would honestly agree usually, I think in this case sinking to their level is the only thing that gets a damn response from trump. He won’t engage on actual issues. Plus, his responses really highlight the bitchy, whiney, small handed, dead opossum wearing, man baby that he is.

    • jmhm

      I don’t know. If you type in “Scott Brown Warren,” “indian” shows up on I feel lucky. I’d’ve been pretty tempted to poke him too.

    • BeachBum

      So here’s Scott Brown, a sitting senator, privy to much, tons of issues to run on. So what does he pick ? The “Indian” thing and the GOP loves it. You get into the political ring , twice, expect to take some punches.

    • DemmeFatale

      Eh, it’s politics.
      (And Wonkers could NEVER sink to their level.)

  • Mhael

    It’s a good thing my wife and I are poly; we won’t have to fight over who gets to leave whom for the pure BADASSERY that IS Elizabeth Warren. ;)

    • theblackdog

      Why leave, you could always share ;-)

  • Teto85

    What a great speech to help me get further motivated. I am driving voters to the polls today. If your state has an election today, get out and vote or mail in your ballot if you have not done so. Vote for the candidate and proposition of your choice, but get out and vote. It’s the only (legal) way to keep them out of office.

  • goonemeritus

    Is it really fair for someone that thinks good to pick a fight with Trump.If we were to institute an intellectual weight-class rule maybe we could find a petulant 6 year old with poor language skills.

    • E K Wallace

      I suggest a toddler who hasn’t had his nap.

      • Last Hussar

        But enough about Trump.

      • Ranina

        Hah! I was just subjected to one (whom i love dearly) this weekend.

    • GEMoore

      While I’ve often felt it was not really sporting to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man, some people just need to be schooled so that our species and all others can have a ghost of a chance at surviving.

      As for Elizabeth Warren, my family has a couple of branches of Choctaw and Caddo, and we look as white as she does. I know redheads who trace their Native American ancestry through the Dawes Roll. If you live in Texas or Oklahoma, you are very likely to have some ancestor who is Native American ancestry. It irritates the hell out of me to hear Scott Brown and Trump make speak of her heritage out of their vast reservoir of racist white ignorance.

      • goonemeritus

        Scott Brown and Trump irritate the hell out of me, full stop.

    • sw19womble

      A rapist swimmer’s father seems like a fair match.

  • AlasAnAss

    I need a cigarette.

    • Invidosa

      I’m having one even now *contented sigh* thanks Lizzie, you’re the fucking best!

  • calliecallie

    All I can say in response to this video is You Bet!

    • Meccalopolis

      I just used ‘you bet’ in a conversation with a colleague!

  • Ricky Gay

    Fran and I don’t speak anymore.

  • Relativicus

    No, she cannot be Hillary’s running mate. For one, she don’t want to be. For tooth, we need her in the senate where she is able to work on things that really matter. Why does everybody always forget that all the time?

    • ahughes798

      We don’t. Liberal Democratic Senators, all five or six of them, can work on things that really matter all day and night…and it will get them, and the causes that are important to most of us, bupkus, because there aren’t enough of them to affect any change via votes on the important issues, because Repubs and DINOs. Sure, they may have the pulpit, but we need votes, and more liberals in office, not just words. This line of thought, to me, is the equivalent of patting your kids on the head and sending them off to bed with their silly “ideas.”

      • Relativicus

        I thought I knew what you were getting at but you lost me. Say again?

        • cat cafe

          He or she is saying that someone like Elizabeth Warren could probably do more as VP, than she can in the Senate, and that Senators can only do so much, actually, and that people saying “she should just remain Senator” may be being condescending. Both your view and ahughes’s view are legitimate points. I myself might slightly agree with ahughes more, but that’s partly because I want to see both Hillary and Eliz taking on the world together.

          • ahughes798

            Thank you for explaining my point more clearly than I was able to!

          • Relativicus

            As Veep, Warren could accomplish almost nothing, and in congress, majorities come and go. And regardless of whether she’s ever part of a majority, she’ll still make an impact. And all of this ignores the fact she has repeatedly said she doesn’t want the spot. Warren is a person with goals, not ambitions.

            I hope so, anyway.

    • DemmeFatale

      No one forgets anything.
      Repeat after me: “President Warren.”

  • RoyalUglyDude

    VP would be a step down from her current position as Supreme Goddess of Ass-Kicking.

  • Electric Ukulele Land

    As awful as Trump’s comments are about the judge in the Trump U case, it feels like a distraction. First, that he’s willing to claim the judge is biased without any evidence and has no respect for the judiciary’s independence or impartiality is just as bothersome as the fact the fact the reasoning is “racist” (or whatever you want to call it). But it’s no surprise he’s trying to “work the ref” as it were. More to the point, the discussion about the judge’s Mexican heritage is keeping the discussion from focusing from how scammy and scummy Trump U is — that no one with any real wealth, class or scruples would be engaged in such as enterprise. And I could see repeated hammering on these details actually peeling away a Trump supporter or two because ultimately it means Trump is just one more obnoxious telemarketer trying to talk them out of their money — even the hermetically sealed bubble of Trump cultism might not be able to withstand that. That he’s racist is more of a feature than a bug (which is probably why he thinks it’s “smart” to continue this line of attack). But on the plus side, even Newt Gingrich won’t defend him

    • Last Hussar

      Its an interesting thought, an has legs but if so it is just another Trump Loser Quote. The whole purpose of a Dead Cat Strategy is to deflect from your fault, not give your opponents a new opportunity to show what a fuckwit you are.
      We’ll send him Lynton Crosby to help out. Anything to get the vile Aussie Fucker off this island

    • The Wanderer

      Perhaps his lawyers will try the Wookiee Defense.

      • theblackdog

        Or the Twinkie Defense

        • SisterArtemis

          it may always be “too soon” for that one :(

      • Lambsendbeds

        “If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit!”

      • sw19womble

        The Ewok Defense. Those guys have small hands.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Well, yeah, it is a distracting strategy in the lawsuit. I’m sure that if the judge were black, he would work that angle and if the judge were as waspy as waspy can be, he would find some other reason to accuse him of bias.

      However, the Messican angle is what resonates with his voting base, so that is the big issue with respect to the election.

      I don’t think it will work on either level but I think that is his strategy on two fronts.

      NB: His fave author, Herr Hitler, ran into some unpleasantness trying to fight a war on two fronts.

    • Skokieguy [Larry]

      THIS! If he were truly a (10) billionaire, why isn’t he endowing a real university like others of vast wealth have done?

      The Koch brothers build hospitals, they don’t start a for profit nurses assistant training program.

      • cat cafe

        Well, they’re too busy buying state-level legislators and infesting school boards, but, you’re right, they STILL BUILD HOSPITALS.

        • Skokieguy [Larry]

          They are of course horrible people that have perverted Democracy, I’m not applauding them. I just thought of who is Republican, obscenely rich, and doesn’t feel the need to start a business like “Trump U”.

    • BeachBum

      I think its the right attack. Some may not feel sorry for people too greedy and losing their money on a get rich scheme without doing due diligence. Let the press get into the weeds of the scam, another front for him to defend. Everyone should understand racism and the importance of the third branch of government.

  • William Ellis

    No . no . no. We Need her in the Senate… The best choice for Hill’s Veep is staring us right in the face… He’s the one we have…
    CLINTON / BIDEN 2016…
    Beside…Could there be a better platform for Joe to wage war on Cancer ?

    • Last Hussar

      Clnto Sanders surely – her own little Jiminy Cricket.

      • William Ellis

        I want Bernie in the senate too… Liz and Bern will be a dynamic duo..

        • William Ellis

          Think how they will be able to shame the GOP to their wide audiences …and the will be able to shame Hill for being too timid or centrist…

    • kaydenpat

      Poor Biden. I assume he’d like to take a break now and not be VP for another 8 years.

      • William Ellis

        don’t know…it hurt him like heck that he didn’t feel up to enduring the race for presidency… Besides moving is always a pain…. ;-)

    • ahughes798

      Not picking on you, William Ellis, because I’ve heard this a million times from Democrats here and elsewhere, but this still strikes me as so condescending….”No, Democrat who is actually liberal, you just stay there in the Senate, where “we need you” to join up with the other four or five liberal Senators so you can accomplish nothing because you’ll be out-voted on everything by Repugs and DINOs.”

      • William Ellis

        Let’s just say you and I fundamentally see how our government works differently… I’m confident mine is the clearer view…
        I don’t take a comment that disagrees with my view as picking on me at all…

        • ahughes798

          I just didn’t want you to think I was singling you out, as I hear it all the time from Dem family, friends, etc. Yours may certainly be the clearer view, as I’m still mulling over/worried about how this whole election will work out. I’m hoping the Dems win back Congress, and they may, but it will be close if they do. I’m looking at it from the “The Veep, as the President of the Senate, can cast the deciding vote in case of a tie” angle. I’d rather have a Liz Warren or Bernie Sanders type liberal with that power, as opposed to a Blue Dog. Plus, there’s that one heartbeat away from the Presidency angle.

      • William Ellis

        you do realize a senator has way more power than a Veep don’t you ? and a senator can speak his mind….a veep has to pull the party line…
        That’s no place for bernie or liz…
        how’s wanting more power for them condescending ?

        • ahughes798

          A Veep can cast the tie-breaking vote in the Senate, as President of the Senate. Senators can say a lot, but generally, they toe the party line, too.

        • DemmeFatale

          Bernie? Pull the party line?
          You’re right.
          His supporters and non-supporters can agree.
          That’s no place for him.

      • just_jim

        If she wants to be VP, I’d be enthusiastically in favor of her for VP. I haven’t heard anything that even hints that. Otherwise, well VP is a mostly ceremonial position, the only power the VP has is to preside over the Senate, and to break ties in the senate. She’d have more power as chairman of the finance, or the banking, housing, and urban affairs committee.

  • JH Marx

    OT, one thing I loved about Ali, even before the draft dodgin, he pissed off white people so fuckin much.

  • The Wanderer

    Warren is needed in the Senate, to continue lashing the Assholes. Sanders needs to be in there with her, so who for Veep? Hmm, let’s cogitate.
    Bill Richardson? Hispanic, former Governor from the Southwest and a former ambassador. That’ll balance the ticket nicely.
    Bill Clinton? Just the mention of his name will make heads explode. It’ll be fun.

    Jim Webb? Just for laughs.
    Thoughts, suggestions, verbal abuse?

    • kaydenpat

      Julian Castro would be a great pick, in my opinion. Young, articulate, Texan and Latino.

      • Jay B.

        Widely loathed in progressive Texas political circles and a lightweight. If you are going that route, Thomas Perez is a good bet.

    • nick kelly

      Is that permitted (Bill)?

      • eddi

        No law sez “no”. But they may not want that many Rebs to self-combust at once. It would be a pity to burn down Washington a second time.

    • artem1s

      OHJB for VEEP for LIFE!

      • SisterArtemis

        I’ve been lobbying for this for about 2 years now. From your keyboard to the non-existent deity’s omnipresent inbox.

  • kaydenpat

    Shame that she can’t be Secretary Clinton’s VP. I’d hate for the Republican Massachusetts Governor to replace her in the U.S. Senate with a Republican when we need to flip the Senate. Sigh.

    She looks like she really enjoys going after Trump’s jugular.

    • artem1s

      she can continue to go after Drumpf’s jugular during the general and still stay in the Senate. Could be more helpful to the other Senate races IMO. She is a living example of what a Dem does in Congress and what will be at risk if the short fingered vulgarian gets anywhere near 1600 Penn Ave.

      • theCryptofishist

        We have to be putting more good people in the Senate, and the House, not pulling out the ones we have.

    • eddi

      She is an artist of invective. We should all be taking notes, if not outright stealing her best lines.

  • redarmyzombie

    “Are you like jizzing in your bunk yet? Do we need to give you some privacy?”

    No no, it’s fine, you can watch…

  • katz

    She’s kicking all kinds of ass right where she is. Why would we move her to a position that’s mostly a figurehead?

    • IknowRIGHT

      Exactly, leave her where she is, we need her on that wall, not inside of it.

      • DemmeFatale

        Take the long view.
        President Warren.

    • Shoto

      Amen.

    • theblackdog

      That’s why I wouldn’t mind if she didn’t get the nod and stayed in the Senate.

    • HobbesEvilTwin

      I like Sherrod Brown, but I would really like to see Warren chair Senate Banking.*

      *or more appropriately, I would really like to see the look on Jamie Dimon’s face when he hears the news.

    • DemmeFatale

      Because that figurehead often becomes president.
      Wouldn’t that be great?

      • In the Senate she is a force to be reckoned with. As VP she is nothing. The only acceptable alternative is Secretary Of Republican Nutz-Smashing

        • sw19womble

          I thought she already did that job in her spare time?

      • glennisw

        Um, think for a second about what occurrence would lead to her succession. Just think about it. When was the last time that happened?

        I still would rather have her as a strong active senator.

        • Volt Owner

          Yeah, best not to go there. I’m still worried about the current Pres not making it out with his skin intact…

        • DemmeFatale

          I meant that the Veep becomes president in the FUTURE (like George H.W. Bush), not because something happens to the president.
          Sorry for the misunderstanding.

          (And saying “Um” is kinda obnoxious and condescending.)

  • SchwaggyRoadDawg

    good article. but the masturbation references cheapen it. stop getting so jizzy wid it. gonzo beats jizz when it comes to political journalism.

    • Hardly Ideal

      My thoughts exactly.

      Are you like jizzing in your bunk yet? Do we need to give you some privacy?

      N-not really? I usually rely on tender-hearted lesbians and ridiculous lingerie for that kind of thing. I mean, it’s a free country, but still…

    • theCryptofishist

      Yr Wonkette has her own idiom. A joyful, giddy, smutty sex-positivism is part of that.

      • Last Hussar

        Lucky they don’t allow comments, really.

    • Candy Apple

      But dick jokes.

    • glennisw

      You’re right. Posts at Wonkette should be far more serious and scholarly. (hah hah hah hah hah! What a loser!)

    • Volt Owner

      With a pic of a “Splitty” as an avatar, you are not allowed to sexsplain to anyone. I mean, those things were like rolling frat parties/orgies back in the day. I lost my virginity in the back of one, twice! The sliding vinyl roof made for some real nice star-gazing afterwards too…

  • aureolaborealis

    Oh, God. I would vote for her SO HARD.

  • Shoto

    Senator Professor Warren: Orange Man-Baby Drumpf Nad-Stomper Extraordinaire.

    She’s gonna need bigger business cards with a title like that.

  • eddi

    Another professional evisceration. Has Donnie Tweeted his morally and intellectually superior rebuttal yet? Or is he still twitching on the rug?

    • Candy Apple

      I picture him just staring blankly into space, seething with rage, like Jack Nicholson in The Shining.

    • sw19womble

      Did anyone manage to stop him from posting his ‘Pocahontas’ jibe eleventy times in revenge?

      • Plushinobi

        I think he’s been too distracted by evil, biased Mexican judges to notice (yet).

      • eddi

        Why bother. Ms. Warren is merely mildly amused by his antics. And the rest of the world laughs at Trump.

      • glennisw

        That one worked so well in third grade, I’m so surprised it’s not working now.

  • Bill Slider

    No one besides Elizabeth Warren actually could help revitalize the Democratic Party to the point of winning this Presidential election, regardless of who heads the ticket, whether it is Hillary Clinton., or it’s not over until it’s over, Bernie Sanders.
    What really threatens Donald Trump more than a woman, Hillary Clinton, who stands up to him and refuses to give in to him? Try two women standing up to him and refusing to give in two him, when that second woman is Pocahontas, er, Elizabeth Warren.
    I don’t care how large, or how long, he considers his dick to be, it is not going to matter. It is called the Second Amendment, double barreled, quick reload, rapid fire action.

    • Gregory Brown

      Frankly, I think that every time he hears or reads what either of those two women say about him, Little Donnie shrinks right back up into his pelvis.

      • BackDoorMan

        … from the nude artwork I’ve seen, “Little Donnie” doesn’t have far to go. (and now I have to wash my eyeballs out with soap)

    • Tiria

      I think Castro or Booker would also give him the wibbly shits. Booker joked this week that he’s Hillary’s VP–Vegan Pal. Heh.

  • I Only Like Cats

    If you yell at me enough I’ll watch the videos. Like, thrice.

  • Marty Magillicutty

    She nailed it.

  • HobbesEvilTwin

    I saw this live on Saturday, as I was the only nerd in my neighborhood who was away on vacation when straws were drawn for delegates. Actually totally glad I got the short straw. Also glad I didn’t have to change my shorts after that speech.

  • Tyroanee

    Whimpy–whiny-arse-…Drumpf!

  • Apple Scruff

    She could take her Donald Trump Shit Show on the road and sell out every venue.

  • Cindyinencinitas

    She is positively luminous.

  • greenpatches

    Elizabeth Warren is like the wonderful hybrid of Bernie’s moral compass and Hillary’s experience and tenacity already realized in human form. I would gladly vote for her as president if I didn’t think she were too good for the job.

    • Candy Apple

      I want her as Space Empress Of The Solar System, for life.

      • sw19womble

        High Priestess of The Milky Way or GTFO!

        • Candy Apple

          You win.

          • sw19womble

            When Ms Warren’s winning, we all win!

  • jkarov

    Poor Donald, always being picked on for something..

    Poor Donald, the man who pretends to be a bilionaire, but is only a few steps from bankruptcy.

    Poor, poor Donald, who is going to lose an election to of all people, a woman who is not a “10”

  • AdlaiStevenson

    She is an American treasure.

  • BWilliamson

    She is Sanders and Clinton combined, squared.

  • Be Gin

    Dear Donald,

    Don’t go changing, we love you just the way you are.

    XXXOOOO

    Your “Base”

    **************************************************************************

    Dear Donald,

    Don’t go changing, I love you just the way you are.

    sincerely,

    Elizabeth Warren

    • Last Hussar

      *You’re base.

      • Thaag Tidestalker

        I approve of this subtlety.

  • snark-lurker

    snurk, traveling in wobbly and radically excentric orbit, wonders if Mr Blobfish is missing or we just be missing it cause we just streak by unpredicktubbly

  • To watch Trump lose to two women would be the best of all outcomes.

    • Frank Underboob

      I’m not a fan of Clinton, but it’d be worth voting for her just for that.

  • Donald E Niman

    Fuck cigarettes, figuratively. I’m going for the humidor. There’s a Romeo y Julieta Churchill Maduro with my name on it in there!

  • DerekPearce

    I never comment at Wonkette because comments are not allowed, but I have to get something off my chest, which is the disingenousness of this (see link) righty whining has me pissed off (also I will never visit this “gateway pundit” site again, ever.) And since I’m the only one who commented there without parroting them they’ll prolly dox me or something. But good on Meryl Streep! http://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2016/06/hollywood-moonbat-meryl-streep-dons-orange-face-mock-donald-trump/

  • DantesE

    Much as I would like to see an all female ticket I think Ms. Warren would do a lot more good where she is with a Democratic senate. Okay that’s a lie a little. I really want to see these guys after she has been spanking them for a couple of years.
    https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTrATQ_boT5yy8iFWSd4VeWolkLndG41RzZa7zgNi8wPmkH8LABDg

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    “Secretary of Nut Busting” would be a useful new Cabinet position.

  • Ed

    Giving a self-serving opinion = nad-stompin. Got it.

    • Blerg

      Better call the wahmbulance, a Trumpkin has a sad

      • Ed

        Ouch. Blerg just stomped my nads.

  • Mindy Newell

    You bet, Elizabeth!!!!!!

  • Larry Josefowski

    Okay, it worked…you guilted me into watching it.

    Wow….I love her.

  • Dolmance

    Holy shit, she’s my hero.

  • Robyn Ryan

    VP is a suck job. Senate Majority Leader is a good job. Got it?

  • SeanT1001

    WHY CAN’T YOU RUN FOR PRESIDENT?!
    EVERYONE WOULD VOTE FOR YOU!!

  • Ron Noname

    I’ll be glad when we see the American electorate playing bridge~~a slam in no trump.

  • HorseChestnut

    Noooo where did the video go? Why won’t it play any more?

Previous articleChill American Family Association Dudes Just Want The Gays To Stop Banging *For Their Health*
Next articlePretend Smart Person Ben Stein Thinks Donald Trump’s A Moron, Endorses Donald Trump