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If there is one thing we know about Jesus it is that he sure loves sending symbols of himself on pieces of toast, marmite lids, floorboards and other unusual places for no apparent reason. That and his songs are not as good as Judas’s songs, but that is mainly the fault of Andrew Lloyd Weber and Tim Rice.

This latest appearance isn’t so much the face of Jesus, as it is a cross. A cross made of poop, that appeared in a diaper of a baby in Florida, discovered by one Katy Vasquez. Vasquez announced the holy miracle on her Facebook page:

Sometimes in our busy, crazy, hectic lives, we forget how wonderful our God is. Today I feel as though he sent me a sign. Saying everything will be okay. I’m right here by your side.

This sign came in the oddest form. My babies poop. I went to change his diaper, and he pooped a cross. It might not be the prettiest sign, but he put it where he knew I’d see it. In my babies diaper. Lol. Hard to miss what’s right there in front of you.

If you can, or want to, feel free to share the message. That God is with us. And he gives us signs to let us know that things will be OK. It’s not always the prettiest sign, but he puts it where he knows we’ll see it. We’re good most of the time, but God is good all the time.

We are one in love yes. Amen.

In the name of the Father, the Son, and if the Holy Ghost.

I believe all things are possible with God.

WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN? Is this babby the second coming of Jesus? Perhaps! Either that or First-Coming Jesus was sitting up in heaven going “Oh man, it looks like Katy has had a rough week, I will make her babby poop a cross so she knows I love her. Then I will decide whom I would like to die of some terrible disease. My, what a productive day!”

Is this a normal thing that happens in diapers? I don’t know, I have never had a baby and haven’t really changed any diapers since my high school babysitting days, so I don’t know what’s normal! However, Rebecca, Evan and Dok assure me that this is NOT a good way for a baby to be pooping. “It is not normal, and that baby should see a doctor,” Rebecca says, “Buttholes should be round.” I will take her word for this as she is the Editrix and also a baby-haver.

What I would like to know though, is what she plans to do with this sacred piece of religious iconography. Bronzing it like a pair of baby shoes would probably not work, since you would not be able to see the cross. Lucite would be an option, maybe, as it would preserve the miracle and also keep the flies at a minimum.

[Friendly Atheist]
[h/t Christian Nightmares]

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  • cousin itt

    Crap Almighty!

    Can’t wait for the punstorm that gonna happen.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Well, I’ll get things sharted here, then….

    • Mary Sandoras

      Shit happens.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Lucky for Christian babies the cross is a relatively simple design. Can you imagine having to poop out an “om”?

    • Lance Thrustwell

      A Star of David or a yin-yang sign would have been WAY more impressive.

      • Tallmutha

        Wake me if some kid shits out the Prince symbol.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    I got a similar sign from God once, but it was in a flaming bag. Thanks God!

    • Nounverb911

      On your doorstep?

    • borninatrailer

      God sent you an invitation you could not turn from.

  • neminem

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Jesus+crap

    I will admit to having said that on at least a few occasions exactly as described.

  • Spotts1701

    A cross of poop will not be an effective weapon against vampires. Just sayin’

    • FlownOver

      Well, unless you’ve been on a heavy garlic diet.

  • Tallmutha

    Jesus should get off his ass and do something about climate change instead of sitting around all day texting selfies at strangers.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Right? Hey, Jesus – you know what evidence of your existence would be more convincing than random baby shit in the shape of a cross? Actual miracles that actually make life better.

      • Nounverb911

        Recalling Pat Robertson?

        • FlownOver

          Or just Pat Roberts? Make it easy on yourself.

  • Scooby

    The message is clear: Jesus Stinks!

  • I suppose she feels that it is her Christian doody to spread this message.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Trolls are likely to mount a smear campaign.

      • Nounverb911

        And Trumpanzees?

    • Tallmutha

      As it is written in The Gospel According to St. Skidmark.

    • Tendernob

      If this is a sign from God, it’s a shitty one.

      • HobbesEvilTwin

        I agree; God does not appear to be pampering Ms. Vasquez.

        • Tendernob

          Well, it Depends.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      You win the internets today.

    • timpundit

      It’s her number two goal in life.

    • borninatrailer

      A Jehovah’s Shitness, no doubt.

    • AntiDerpomeme

      Crap! That’s better than the shit that I was going to post.

    • handyhippie65

      hehe, you said doody.

    • Shibusa

      Is this the beginning of a movement?

    • Gleem-McShinez

      Sinners, repent before it’s stool late!

    • lovelydestruction

      I’ll be watching for the eBay listing.

  • That’s one dedicated barista.

  • x111e7thst

    In hoc signo vinces

  • MrBlobfish

    If you think that’s impressive, you should see what’s in my diaper!

    • Nounverb911

      Senator Vitter is that you?

    • Logic of Color

      “I can’t wait til I’m old enough to shit my pants again”
      — George Carlin

  • DerrickWildcat

    There’s no other explanation.

    • Nounverb911
      • SuspectedDemocrat

        Use new Tide with Bleach! for those stubborn cross-shaped stains.

        • Serai 1

          I can’t believe Tide didn’t jump on that O’Reilly quote. It would have made a great commercial.

  • Oneofthebobs

    That’s what happens when your baby swallows a crucifix.

    • Serai 1

      There’s an Exorcist joke in here somewhere, but I just can’t find it.

  • handyhippie65

    that sums up my thoughts on christianity perfectly. it’s as evil as baby poop. damn that stuff stinks! i’m all the time asking what are you feeding that kid? the nice thing about being a grandparent, i can hand off stinky baby to mom or dad.

  • borninatrailer

    I look forward to the Coat of Many Humors.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    I’m betting it was the creamed broccoli the kid had for lunch.

  • DerrickWildcat

    The devil can poop Crosses for his purpose.

  • clubseal

    Call me when it poops the Star of David.

  • Tendernob

    So is emptying the Diaper Genie a form of blasphemy?

    • JMP

      “And you actually believe that shit” is literal in this case.

  • timpundit

    God makes movements in mysterious ways.

  • OddMan

    Now if that baby had pooped out a Poop Emoji I would be impressed. You can buy the pattern for a Poop Emoji on Etsi, and the cool thing is that it is made with a cross stitch.

    https://www.etsy.com/listing/200531749/pattern-poop-emoji-funny-cross-stitch

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Holy shit.

    • Jeff Ackerman

      All this time I thought “that” expression was swearing…

    • timpundit

      Most over looked pun today.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        There’s no fruit so low-hanging that I won’t go for it. I’m in it for the upfists. Shameless.

        • SnarkOff

          You earned it.

  • h4rr4r

    As a father that kid had a terrible wedgie.

  • Vincent Ricola

    And in 15 years, this poor baby is going to get shouted down in a Walmart bathroom because it doesn’t look feminine/masculine enough and God’s poop cross story isn’t going to mean squat.

  • JMP

    Jesus’ body tastes like a thin cracker, his blood tastes cheap red wine, so his poop tastes like – ?

    • cousin itt

      heaven?

    • Vincent Ricola

      A carefully melted Butterfinger?

      • Gleem-McShinez

        Or a Baby Ruth?

        “It’s no big deal.” *crunch*

    • borninatrailer

      Marzipan?

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      That’s why they don’t hand out communion brownies.

      • DoILookAmused2u ?

        They left out splooge too.

    • SessileRaptor

      The menu at Applebee’s?

    • borninatrailer

      ♪♫ 2, 4, 6 ,8 time to transubevacuate!

    • OddMan

      Mr Hankey, says it smells like flowers.

      • Jeremiah Kristal

        I thought that Mr Hankey said that Kyle smells like flowers.

        • OddMan

          Mr. Hankey probably thinks everyone smells like flowers.

    • SnarkOff

      Chicken?

    • FlownOver

      Hitler?

      [Goddam. I gotta break that habit.]

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    It’s just like during the crusades when the Pope’s army eviscerated villagers and found the blood and gore and poop sometimes made a cross shape as their dying victims tried to crawl away. Glory to our Sky King!

  • MrBlobfish

    I think it looks more like a shark from above or below, but how can we be sure the cross isn’t upside down and the work of Satan?

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      It sure smells like the work of Satan!

  • Callyson

    Eww…”

    – God

    • SnarkOff

      “You people are fucking idiots.”

  • JMP

    I’m getting an ad for Huggies with this article. Thanks, google!

  • Lascauxcaveman

    It’s no Piss Christ, but it’ll do.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      Give that baby an NEA grant, pronto!

      • Lascauxcaveman

        You know how all those critics of modern art always say, “My kid coulda painted that!”

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    Would be better if it was a poop Virgin Mary, IMO.

    One time after having sex, the image of Jesus appeared in the cum stains on my sheets.

    He was smiling.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Whether by accident or design, I’m not seeing the screenshot of the evidence. This is not a complaint.

    • SnarkOff

      Fast, pray, repent, and then try again.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        “I like to eat my little cracker . . . . I try not to regret anything.”
        – Trumpf
        (This really doesn’t have much to do with your comment; I just like to keep reminding people of it.)

  • Anarchy Pony

    It’s definitely god, not a basic consequence of the way the baby’s butt is shaped.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      Wait another 15 years and see what images appear on his crusty sheets!

      • SuspectedDemocrat

        It’s a tube sock miracle! I must inform Facebook!

      • Anarchy Pony

        I’d rather not.

  • limberrat

    So I need to start posting pictures of my daughter’s diapers to see if they are religious?

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      They aren’t. Just go with that assessment, okay? Please?

  • SnarkOff

    Surely you’re not saying
    We have the resources
    To save the poor from their lot?

    There will be poor always
    Pathetically struggling
    Look at the good things we’ve got.

  • Anarchy Pony

    It’s a miracle!

    • borninatrailer

      Nice.

      Normally, this is where I’d post a link to that Feederz song but I think I’ve run that enough.

      • DerrickWildcat

        I had that album.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    Sometimes in our busy, crazy, hectic lives we forget that poop is always with you.

    • SnarkOff

      Not if you have a kid in diapers, you don’t.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    There’s a “footprints in the sand” joke in here somewhere . . .

    • VirginiaLady

      Check the catbox.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    This sign came in the oddest form. My babies poop.

    Everybody’s babies poop.

    Perhaps next time your baby’s poop could come in the form of an apostrophe.

    • SnarkOff

      That is singular advice.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        And I insist on getting full credit for it. (I’m very possessive.)

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I would upfist this more if I could, because how fucking hard is it to understand the difference between a plural and a possessive, for shit’s sake, but then again this woman is telling the world her kid shits crosses, so it’s not entirely reasonable to expect her to be grammatically correct.
      Can you tell this is a pet peeve of mine?

      • Toomush_Infer

        Well, I’m told everybody has a cross to bare….

    • Gleem-McShinez

      If your babie’sz poop is a red squiggly line on your Faceboop comment box, you need to call 911 IMMEDIATELY.

  • cousin itt

    In honor of Poop Pius, obv.

  • Indiepalin

    That’s nothing. Baby Hitler shat swastikas.

    • SnarkOff

      We should have gone back in time and killed baby Hitler.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Mit den Stimmen.

  • Logic of Color

    I’ll bet she happily ignored all the star-and-crescent poops

  • limberrat

    Why do I feel safer on this post about shit than a certain post that is still exploding?

    • SnarkOff

      Oooh, which one?

      • limberrat

        The ErnieBay post.

        • SnarkOff

          [rushes off to see]

          • SDGeoff

            You go ahead. Been there.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    This could be the miracle #2 that clinches sainthood for Poop John Paul.

  • Swampay

    Why not? All the official messages from Jebus and his daddy in the bibble are pretty much shit anyway.

  • FrenchFriar

    Her kid ate Jesus. Case solved.

    • Serai 1

      I guess they can stop looking for Him, then.

  • Bad Granny

    As the mother of way too many people and a former long term care nurse, I can tell you that pattern is the result of sharting whilst sitting upright. Miracles do happen though. One time, Granny spent a week in a beach house with the whole family and we never ran out of booze.

    • Blank Ron

      The Miracle of the Loaves and Fishes and Gin.

  • TheGrandWaz00

    The Christian movement takes an unexpected turn.

  • ContextIsKey

    While we’re all laughing she’s going to get a book deal and a movie. Reality TV show at least. Thanks Florida.

    • therblig

      Heaven is Real 3: Hot Cross Buns

  • arglebargle

    Dog butt Jesus time…

  • TheGrandWaz00

    “Why didn’t I think of that?”
    ~Bristol Palin

  • Frank Underboob

    Proof that religion is shit!

  • Will in Pgh

    Kid ate a rosary. More to come.

    • JDogski

      Thanks Will… laughed so hard I spit out my vodka and cranberry on my laptop screen!

  • TheGrandWaz00

    Smells Like Meme Spirit

  • SDGeoff

    She may believe all things a possible with gawd, but I bet Ms Gawd is holding some thoughts about Mother Poop.

  • spends2much

    Yeah, this is funny, but mostly it makes me sad. An adult person in the 21st century, in the richest country in the world, thinks a magic man in the sky said “hi” to her through baby shit.
    Oy veh.

  • say wha

    “What I would like to know though, is what she plans to do with this sacred piece of religious iconography.”
    It goes up on the dashboard, or hanging from the rear view mirror.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Hanging from the mirror, obviously. The dashboards already taken.

      ‘Well, I don’t care if it rains or freezes,
      Long as I have my plastic Jesus
      Riding on the dashboard of my car’

    • AnOuthouse

      EBay.

  • Boscoe

    I’d say that’s a pretty clear message from God about what He thinks of religion… or babbys, maybe. Or maybe he was just mocking this poor woman’s diaper duties because he is a giant dick?

    Damn, this interpreting God’s messages thing is HARD. He should maybe just get a yootoob channel…

  • Bitter Scribe

    She’s got to be trolling. Or otherwise shitting us.

    • Thaumaturgist

      I think that’s the better view. But it’s too plausible to be dismissed out of hand.

  • AlasAnAss

    ” . . . he pooped a cross.”

    And no splinters? Now there’s your miracle.

  • Shibusa
    • Blackest Noobs

      ha ha ha i just finally the sign of the chair, HA HA HA HA!!!

    • Toomush_Infer

      What if he died of old age?…would a rocking chair be appropriate?…

  • Gleem-McShinez

    God, if you’re listening? As far as signs go, I’m more partial to extremely hot bushes, just hanging out for all to see. Not so keen on the poopie-based signs.

    Sorry about my lack of Aramaic. Hope you can translate that! OK THX BYE

  • therblig

    so, the parable of the loads and feces?

    • Blank Ron

      That is terrible. Congratulations.

  • Ghenghis McCann

    So baking cakes for gays offends people’s sincerely held religious beliefs, but the same people are okay with the Holy Skidmark of Florida, mocking the symbol of their faith?

  • therblig

    dan brown is already working on “The DaVinci Load”

  • whitroth

    Isn’t the appropriate response, “No shit, Sherlock?”

    • brucej

      “No, shit, Sherlock” Remember your Eats,Shoots, and Leaves

  • This really is the trinity of wonkette stories.

  • bozilingus

    The picture I saw of the “cross” looked quite similar to this:

  • smr06va

    Jeebus, what a shitty story………………

  • Malmborg Implano

    And there’s no way you could fake that, either.

  • Blackest Noobs

    Shit! A cross!

  • FauxAntocles

    Oh, please, that’s a shark!

  • BeverlyCrusher’sWig

    Dear Lady,
    You’re life is crap.
    Sincerely,
    God

  • MausFeet

    Well I know what MY brain’s doing with the rest of the day.

    All your followers are blind.
    Too much dookie on their minds.
    It was beautiful, but now it’s sour.
    Yes it’s all gone sour.

    Or

    I don’t know how to love him.
    What to do, how to poop him.
    I’ve been changed, yes really changed.
    In these past few days, when I’ve seen my mess,
    It seems like something else…

    It scares me so
    I want to know
    Why’d I poop a cross

    and also too

    What’s the buzz, tell me what’s a’ crappening…

    • jmk

      I only want to say,
      If there is a way,
      Take this crap awaaaaaaaaaaaay from meeee!!

      • edith prickly

        STOP THAT RIGHT NOW.

        Ah gentlemen, you know why we are here
        We’ve not much time, and quite a problem here

        Hosanna, Pooperstar…

        Listen to that howling mob of shitheads in the street
        A trick or two with feces, and the whole town’s on its feet

        • jmk

          THERE IS NO STOPPING!!

          Jesus you just won’t believe the shit we saw around here,
          It is all we talk about, the wonder of the year,
          Oh, what a pity, if that shit’s a lie,
          Still I’m sure that you can poo a cross out if you try.

  • thewitchqueen74

    I’m not sure whether to laugh or feel sorry for this woman….

    • natoslug

      Live a little and do both.

    • Barley_Brains

      Laugh at her ignorance. Feel sorry that her child will be indoctrinated but such an ignorant person.

  • URQ196

    Katy needs to seek some mental health care, at a locked facility.

  • Cosmo Lupertazzi

    Maybe she should consult with Damien Hirst on how to preserve the Miraculous Baby Shit from Jebus.

  • natoslug

    All I saw were some shitty surveyor’s marks.

  • Cosmo Lupertazzi

    If this baby is a boy, I’m pretty sure this is a sign from above that when he grows up he will have the Lance of Longinus in his pants.

  • jmhm

    So, I don’t want to disrespect anyone’s religious beliefs, but what I see is a diaper in which an infant had a productive fart at the center of where the folds meet. Of couse, the only message my kid’s diaper ever sent me from the ineffable was that god thought I was getting too much sleep.

  • chascates

    It’s every bit as possible that this child is the AntiChrist and Satan caused this bowel movement to FOOL you!

  • Pat_Pending

    “et cum shitty tuo…”

  • TheBidenator

    Christians will believe any shit you put in front of them…..

  • Master Contrail Program

    I’m sure it’s been mentioned down thread, but wasn’t “Piss Christ” controversial to the religious folks? I guess a number two wrong makes it right.

  • TheBidenator

    In her defense as dumb as this is dumb assholes have seen Jesus in their dogs asshole so maybe God is just climbing the species fecal ladder a bit….

  • TheBidenator

    An omnipotent, all seeing god and his way of showing us signs is to put symbols in grilled cheese sammitches, butter, dogs assholes and baby shit. I think god needs to have a talk with his fan club because they make him seem incredibly weak when they bang on about stuff like this…..

  • Master Contrail Program

    And I was always told Jesus lived in my heart……….

  • Master Contrail Program

    I don’t think “Christ the Steamer”, will get quite as many pilgrimages as Cristo Redentor.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Jesus Christ, Pooper Star.

    • fredoandme

      i laught!!!!!!

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Just what the world needs – another religious movement.

    • Morrigan in Oregon

      you have won my vote for the evening. huzzah!

    • Barley_Brains

      Most excellent.

  • Suttree

    People that see god everywhere should seek counseling post haste.

    • Gleem-McShinez

      At least wash their hands after.

    • Barley_Brains

      Oh god, oh god, ooooooooh God!

  • Master Contrail Program

    Blinded by His light.
    It looks like a deuce.
    But it’s a miracle, alright?

  • Master Contrail Program

    Your religious iconography is shit.

  • Master Contrail Program

    “I just had a religious experience in the bathroom. Behold, my stigmata!”

    “Ewww! Go wash your hands thoroughly and get back to work, Ted. Those Beef ‘N’ Cheddars aren’t going to make themselves.”

    • sherrdbw

      No more Arby’s for me…..ever!

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Some things you just can’t explain. Butt this ain’t one of them.

  • Master Contrail Program

    I guess it’s never too early for some folks to get in the yuletide spirit? Maybe she’s one of those eccentrics that runs a year-round Christmas store?

  • Serai 1
  • Gleem-McShinez

    “Did you just fart?!”

    “No! It was more of a shart, actually.

    Have you heard the good news about Fesus Christ?”

    • arsehat

      Feces Christ?

  • Master Contrail Program

    The Lion, The Witch and The Pantload.

    • The Witch of Endor

      LOL!

    • SDGeoff

      My personal Award Of All Internets goes to you today.

      • Master Contrail Program

        Cool. Much obliged. I’m going to shove that in the spam-bot’s face, when it shows up in a few hours.

        “(Random Implausible Name, with the same stock photo) you ain’t the only one rainin’ internets around here.”

        #FREELORI

        • SDGeoff

          LOL! Did you see Aslan, a few posts south of here?

          • Master Contrail Program

            Yup. Wonkette call-and-response snarking is always divinely inspirational.

      • Morrigan in Oregon

        here ya’ go

  • Master Contrail Program

    AOT, K. Another Ordinary Turd, Katy.

  • CATMAN

    I always thought the Jesus ressurection story was a load of shit, now this confirms it

  • Delu

    If you see Jesus in poop, seek professional medical help.

    • Jonny On Maui

      If you believe in any superstition seek professional mental health assistance…

      • Barley_Brains

        I like that. Too long for a bumper sticker, but would look good in a billboard.

  • HazooToo

    Jesus fucking Christ.

    • Pickwicknext

      No. Jesus shitting Christ.

      • HazooToo

        This fucking fruit-loop found a miracle in poop. POOP! PPPPPPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!! ASDASDFSDHDFGJFHJT;BLVYUGC.JHJGFCHM,B;LNK;M

        • SDGeoff

          You can poop in the unknown tongue too?

  • Blanche Beecham

    It’s a Miracle!

  • AnOuthouse

    You’re making this up to persecute good Christians. Get behind me Satan.

    • IndianaKevin

      I’m never sure whether ” Get behind me Satan,” means “I’ve got no time for you, Satan,” or “You got my back, right, Satan?”

      • sherrdbw

        Whenever I’m having bad times, the church tells me to say “Get behind me, Satan”. It never seems to work. Today I was told that no matter what happens that it’s God’s plan. Whenever I ask what that plan is, no one can give me an answer. If I punch them in the face, is that God’s plan and will the police believe it?

  • WeaselPoo

    It’s a sign you are a fucking loony, lady.

  • phoenix00
  • The Witch of Endor

    I weep for humanity.

  • boll ocks

    You gotta be shitting me.

  • SCK

    Jesus, what the fucking shit? Sometimes I want to be nice to these people, just because it’s good manners and all, but I just want to really go to town on her now for her stupidity.

    • SDGeoff

      Go onnn….

  • Gert

    The Second Pooping of Christ.

    • Markuserektus

      Scatologically speaking…

  • Blank Ron

    A cross made of baby poo? You people have no idea how I work, do you?
    – God, REALLY exasperated

  • trevorpyle

    That is not a cross, it’s an image of a Cardassian Galor-class cruiser.
    This baby is the reincarnation of Gene Roddenberry!
    Just in time for Star Trek’s 50th anniversary!

    • major_asshole

      It’s the goddamned Pah-Wraiths fucking with us again.

      I SEALED DUKAT IN THERE FOR A FUCKING REASON.

  • Incoming Ham

    Poopeidolia

  • arsehat

    In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, I take the excrement wafer.

  • DutchS

    I’m a Catholic. I will now pound my head on the table until this goes away.

  • major_asshole

    This lady needs halp. “Babies” is not the possessive form of “babby.” Her kid is pooping an unhealthy colour. Also, babby isn’t s’posed to poop in a cross–is s’posed to be either round globs dotted with corn WHY DID YOU FEED MY BABBY CORN or in streaks up and down the diaper. Or in an explosion that just COMES OUT EVERYWHERE.

    Also, if you poop a cross, good luck getting the splinters out.

  • bubbuhh

    I don’t know. As a long time observer of shark week in my youngster days, the poopee stain looks more like the shadow of a shark patrolling some very murky slurry before returning to the depths from whence it came. Just what sort of food was that the babb being fed?

  • Angela Ruzzo

    What next? Will the Virgin Mary appear in someone’s vomit?

    • Vomit is already miraculous – little chunks of carrot are always there even if you’ve never eaten a carrot in your whole life!

  • Rufus T. Firefly

    That’s nothing. This one time, my dirty underwear had the entire Last Supper tableau. Tequila was involved.

    • Master Contrail Program

      Is that a Jackson Pollock in your pants? Or did you just have Chipotle?

  • Carlill

    To note; piss Christ = bad, shit Christ = good.

    • paulalovescats

      both sick and bad, not art

  • mondojohnson

    This comment stream should be preserved in the next edition of Norton’s Anthology of Poop Jokes. Wonkette’s disallowed commentariat consistently provides the very best of potty humor; I am proud to be a part of it.

  • mardam422

    So, if some artist made a cross of poop and put it in an art show, they’d be decried as an apostate. There would be death threats, and who knows how much gnashing of teeth and rending of garments. A baby shits, and it’s a fucking miracle.

    This country is fucking doomed.

  • mardam422

    I can see it now. The kid brings home a nice girl. they sit down on the couch with Mom and Dad. Mom takes out the family album and….

    • sherrdbw

      I’m certain that mom will show the actual diaper, after it’s been stored in a zip loc bag for 18 years.

  • Jamsie

    Poor delusional soul.

  • fredoandme

    my baby once turned out a whole load of intact raisins, all of them bleached white and no longer wrinkled. another time, while riding in her swing, like a tiny maude lebowski, she slung it a good six feet each way, coming and going; hit the cat right in the face. the carpet never recovered. it was to the point that i could barely wait to see what she did next.

    when this baby can do that kind of shitting, we’ll talk.

    http://www.paprikash.com/lou/tp.html

    • Mr. Fusion

      Required reading for anyone entering a retirement home.

  • doggiedaddy

    Thanks Book Face for giving us access to a world of nutty fuckers and baby shit.
    https://m.popkey.co/42032b/oZ7Ed.gif

  • paulalovescats

    I can see how it would form a cross shape. It would leak out in the crack of the butt AND in the line between the legs and butt. No doctor needed.

    • Magic Juan

      No, god did this silly man! He can turn shit into the sign of a torturous way of death to brighten your day. He can’t heal your dying friend, but he can leave stains to help you feel better about.

  • Olav_Pompatus

    Meanwhile, another airliner has gone down. But you gotta admit, this seems like pretty compelling evidence.

  • Magic Juan

    Seems like if god really loved that parent he’d have left a shit stain of Jesus’s face.

  • santyclz

    !!!!1!!!
    Body-shamer!!!!!!!!1
    You and your vicious HATERS are DISENFRANCHISING and MARGANALIZING the whole population of us with square, triangular, or ‘otherwisely-shaped’ (the preferred term) disposal orifices (ibid)! #osdomatter

  • Celtic_Gnome

    And, lo, on the following day, Katy did change the diaper and see the divine message, “It’s spelled baby’s, asshole!”

  • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

    Didn’t Mapplethorpe try doing something like this with urine and Jesse Helms had a cow about it?

  • sherrdbw

    My first thought was that it was the shadow of an airplane.

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