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Yep, she's worried. Look at the fear in her eyes.
We done yet? For real, we done yet?

Hot mess zebra twats like H.A. Goodman and Donald Trump have been waiting for the day when the whole presidential campaign changes, when the FBI concludes its investigation of Hillary Clinton’s emails and reveals that they are the gateway to a ginormous criminal conspiracy involving Benghazi, state secrets, Vince Foster’s death, the Holocaust and probably the KFC Double Down and the McRib. At which point, in this sexxx fantasy, Hillary will go to jail forever and either Trump or Bernie will become president.

Unfortunately for those guys, and we hate to break this to them, but …

Some of Hillary Clinton’s closest aides, including her longtime adviser Huma Abedin, have provided interviews to federal investigators, as the FBI probe into the security of her private email server nears completion, U.S. officials briefed on the investigation tell CNN. The investigation is still ongoing, but so far investigators haven’t found evidence to prove that Clinton willfully violated the law the U.S. officials say.

Nothing?! What do you mean, investigators “haven’t found evidence”? Have they even read Haha Goodman’s epic sex poem about how Hillary is guilty of all the things? It’s in his diary, and that’s all the proof anybody should need!

And who are these “officials” CNN is quoting? PFFFFFT probably “officials” who are in the tank for Hillary, that’s who. They are part of the conspiracy!

The FBI still has to interview Hillary, and maybe just maybe they will waterboard her and she will admit to all the crimes, and maybe even reveal the secret name of the lady demon who actually controls her, and picks out her pantsuits and DVRs “The Good Wife” for her! (Uh, about that, didn’t that blockquote just say Huma has already been interviewed? God, pay attention.)

And as we saw during the Benghazi hearings, if you’re looking for Hillary to crack under pressure when she’s in the hot seat, you’re barking up the wrong pussy willow tree. Was it because she secretly did the Benghazi murders and laughed about it while she was home alone THE WHOLE NIGHT, and is such a criminal mastermind that she will never reveal all the awful things she does in her every waking moment?

Or was it that she actually didn’t do anything criminal or evil as regards Benghazi? Dumbass Rep. Trey Gowdy is SO SURE he’s going to find something as he wraps up the five-millionth Benghazi investigation, but Gowdy is a dead-eyed dumbfuck, and the Pentagon is sick and tired of being sick and tired of his annoying, pointless investigation.

And truly, almost certainly, that’s the case with this stupid fucking email “scandal.”

You may have heard the old adage, “Where there’s smoke, there’s usually fire.” And that is a good adage sometimes! But there is another less-famous adage at play here, and it is “Where there’s smoke, it’s usually leaking out of the empty rectum holes of dead-ender losers who are just pretty sure Hillary did all the bad things, but they can never actually find her doing the bad things, but anyway, that is where that fart-flavored smoke is coming from.” (It’s a long adage, and real hard to cross-stitch, which is why it probably never caught on.)

The only thing anybody’s ever been able to prove about either Clinton is that Slick Willy got his dick wet in an intern’s mouth, and then the dumbfuck lied about it. Not his best moment! And this email thing? It’s been a fucking nothing-burger from the get go.

The point, obviously, is that the FBI is part of the conspiracy and in the tank for Hillary. We’d suggest Salon get right on that story but we know that nutsack Walker Bragman probably submitted it to his editors five minutes ago.

[CNN]

 

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  • MsAnthropesMr
  • Mary Sandoras

    Pfft, FBI, I’ll await Trey Gowdys investigation into this.

  • Helena Handbag

    Oh but wait and whoa if true and stop the presses! Some hacker guy in jail says he for sure and certain hacked her server and could you please add some more charges to his rap sheet and keep him in prison some more pretty please?

    • Logic of Color

      Oh Great. Thanks to you Trey Gowdy is probably petitioning the pentagon to “Produce the guy that some commenter named Helena Handbag was talking about”.

      • Helena Handbag

        Just as long as I’m not subpoenaed!!1

        • Gleem-McShinez

          AHA! You are saying that because you know she will murder you!
          WE HAVE HER NOW!!

          • H0mer0

            Next they will have to subpoena Pat McGroinagin, Mike Hunt and Hugh G. Recshen
            (sorry, low hanging fruit)

  • Seaside

    As a typical American voter I find this story too long, please tweet it with an exclamation point at the end.

    • JustPixelz

      Hillary still at large!

    • Antimassacree

      Sad!

    • Snopes Shop

      Or take a picture of it and post in on Instagram

  • Nounverb911

  • Lizzietish81

    I thought I heard some sobbing coming from the direction of Williamsburg

    Maybe now the one or two idiots still holding out hope that Hillary will decide to fuck the call of the people and let Bernie become king of everything so he can fix everything and start a new liberal socialist paradise solving all our problems for ever and ever will shut the fuck up.

    Hahaha yeah right.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      Their tears are delicious.

      Of course, they will back up, think it over, and then proclaim “This just proves Obama/Loretta Lynch and the 1147 FBI Agents who was assigned to prove she done wrong are in the tank”.

      The corruption runs alls the way from the bottom to the top. Can we haz revolution nows?

    • JustPixelz

      Susan Sarandon and … who is the other idiot? WAIT! GOT IT! It’s Michael Moore.

  • Lizzietish81
    • Pickwicknext

      On repeat while I look for vodka-based drink boxes to store under my desk and/or bed

  • JustPixelz

    Where is Kaili Joy Grey? Did Hillary Vince Foster her?

    • Antimassacree

      Bitterempire.com

    • AnOuthouse

      Of course.

    • Logic of Color

      I really hope my name never becomes a verb.

  • Jay Vaughn

    If she didn’t do anything bad then why does she always try and get men to eat apples?

    • Pickwicknext

      Apples are good for you?

      • Jay Vaughn

        Michelle is in on it too!?!

  • Oblios_Cap

    Maybe the GOP should have put Gohmert in charge of the investigation. He could have at least charged Hils with casting aspersions on his asparagus (asparagi?).

  • RepubAnon

    The evidence tying Hillary to BENGHAZI!!!!!, Vince Foster, Whitewater, JFK’s assassination, and John Wilkes Booth will all be made clear at Trey’s press conference scheduled, by sheer coincidence, on October 15th or thereabouts.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Don’t forget her sabotage of the walls of Constantinople in 1453!

  • Mpeg

    Their accusations aren’t just false.. they’re PANTSUITS-ON_FIRE false!!1!

  • Antimassacree

    … but Gowdy is a dead-eyed dumbfuck.
    ‘Dead-eyed dick’, also too. I’d bet Kurt would be OK with it.

  • AnOuthouse

    FBI: Huma, can you confirm that you are one of the two naked women in this picture?
    Huma: yes. that is me.
    FBI: Who was taking the pictures?

    • Pickwicknext

      And is the job available?

    • JustPixelz

      It wasn’t her husband. He was there with a camera but taking other pictures.

      • Pickwicknext

        Which one?

  • dslindc

    I was up all night doing Benghazi once. It was overrated.

    • MsAnthropesMr

      Ahh, the Benghazi. The forbidden dance of love. Or is that the Lambada? I always get the two confused.

      • Querolous

        Wah, wah, a-Watusi.

        Oh, baby, it’s the dance,

        Made a-for romance.

  • TheGrandWaz00

    E-mail, Benghazi, Foster, Whitewater, Travelgate, Lewinsky….
    https://media.giphy.com/media/uSGwdLt9jPouA/giphy.gif

    • baconzgood

      I’d like to see them investigate Cheney this much.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        No need to. One investigation and you’ve got material for several hundred charges.

        Just need to get that single investigation going.

    • H0mer0

      how did you get a video of me waking up?

  • Mary Sandoras

    I’ll await the 19th investigation before I render a judgement on the Hillary “email palooza”.

  • Arse Grammatica

    Well there is a scandal here and it involves Hillary sort of and it is why don’t these idiots do their actual jobs?

    Oh yeah nothing new.

  • Scooby

    Wing nuts have now moved on to Hillary coughing. They say she won’t make it to the general.
    Hillary for TB!

    • Serai 1

      Don’t forget the goiter. Camille Paglia is VERY concerned about Hilary’s goiter.

  • Jack_Carter_USA

    The “Hillary for Prison” crowd will always insist an indictment is coming…any day now…

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Well, they did prove that Obama was a Kenyan socialist Muslim usurper, so now with that taken care of the next indictment is a sure thing.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Back in the 90’s, the phrase “Indictments are just around the corner” became a joke to everyone but the CDS sufferers, who went around the corner and immediately found another corner staring at them.

      • Jack_Carter_USA

        The birthers also insist Joe Arpaio will reveal his “universe shattering evidence” (promised 2½ years ago, repeatedly delayed and then just ignored) any day now.

    • NoGoodnik

      Right along with their ACA replacement bill thingee. Just wait for it…

    • Querolous

      Unrequited optimism

    • Serai 1

      Like the Rapture, we must all have patience…

  • dslindc

    So you’re saying Hillary did all the bad things and is literally Satan?

    Oh sorry, I had my GOP eyeglasses on.

  • roberteye

    I suspect the real reason Nader2016 er um Sanders is running out the clock is the fervent liberal revolutionary hope that “those damn emails” he was at one point sick of will blow up and rescue him with super dels and #dropoutHillary becomes an actual thing.

    • Lamashtar

      I am afraid Bernie is as bad as his followers and planned to bully the delegates at a contested convention. They won’t stop talking about ‘revolution’ and how Hillary must be stopped at all costs because she’s worse than Trump, etc. After the Republicans managed to peacefully surrender to Trump, it would make the Democratic Party look awful. 1968 all over again. The ambition of the people around Saunders is frightening, and he’s going along with it.

  • Ryan Denniston

    “but so far investigators haven’t found evidence to prove that Clinton willfully violated the law the U.S. officials say.”

    Meanwhile, North Carolina is willfully, gleefully violating the law, even TO THIS DAY. Can we throw Pat McCrory in jail now?

    • Pickwicknext

      Rick Snider first.

      • Dudleydidwrong

        “OK, guys, line for the slammer forms over here. Republicans on the right. Republicans on the left. Keep it orderly and stop sniffing each others’ butts.”

  • kindness

    Sadly the ones who are going to be the most pissed seem to be the BernieBros that haunt my FB feed.

    • Lizzietish81

      WEll today I’m seeing “Bernie would beat Trump if the election was held today so we should forget Democracy and do it our way!”

      • kindness

        I thought it was rich that Bernie thinks only regular delegates should count. Someone needs to tell him Hillary is 300 delegates ahead there.

        Honestly, I wouldn’t mind Bernie’s people if only they didn’t insist Hillary would be worse that Trump. I don’t know about that. I can’t say for certain Trump would be worse than Hitler, but I do wonder.

        • Lizzietish81

          The super delegate thing annoys the fuck out of me. Would there be this big a deal if he was ahead? Of course not. There wasn’t in 2008.

          Seriously this election has made me lose a lot of respect for Sen Sanders.

          • kindness

            Yup. But it’s my fellow liberals that really disappoint me. Why do we insist on shooting ourselves in both feet?

          • Lizzietish81

            I had thought that people I hung out with were at least familiar with the way democracy works. It turns out we were all living a terrible lie.

          • mancityfooty .

            Speak for yourself.
            My lie is quite comfortable.

          • Jay Vaughn

            The Bernie-or-bust-a-nuters aren’t liberals, they’re lady hating cock fucking smegma slurping feces fuckers.

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            Don’t hold back. Tell us how you REALLY feel!

          • wurman

            Became a Clinton delegate at my precinct caucus–the only one, but 14 Sanders delegates were selected. Went to the Democratic Party County Convention where only 6 of the 14 showed up. Sat in the bleachers for the quorum call–40% required, but only had 36% because hundreds of Bernie delegates didn’t show. Guy behind me asked if I was a Clinton supporter. Yup. He tells me that she’s just a corporate Democrat, and he will never vote for her. Then sez he, Slick Willy was a corpoDem. And . . . that effing Obama was the biggest corpoDem ever. Finally, he states I never voted for Bill, did not vote for Gore (king of the corpoDems), voted for Obama the first time, and not the second, and Bernie is his BFF. I said: “You’re not even a Democrat. Why in the hell did you come to this convention.” Good luck to Bernie if he thinks any of his acolytes will show up in Philadelphia. Sad.

          • DT

            No need for the extreme homophobia.

          • Jay Vaughn

            What?

          • DT

            Oh, I guess you didn’t know that nearly every epithet you used is rooted in homophobia. Just take a second to think about it.

          • Jay Vaughn

            Not a one. I can see thinking cock fucker might be but that’s just me saying their dicks are so small they could fit in a urethra.

          • DT

            Well, I guess some people can’t be helped.

          • Sakonyachen

            I second the “what?”

          • beavertank

            …they’re lady hating cock fucking smegma slurping feces fuckers Santorums.

            FTFY

          • H0mer0

            that has a certain lilt to it.

          • Sakonyachen

            If only you were right, I would sleep better before November. The Bern or Bust thing is some kind of mass hysteria that gets about the same level of attention as Bernie did before his campaign went sideways. It’s not all sexism unfortunately. Some people just hate Hillary so much they would rather see the world burn than accept that she would not actually be the Antichrist. Or they really just thought Bernie was the Messiah. Either way, I know them personally, they don’t resent her vagina. Which is hilarious when you consider my right wing fundie parents are probably going to vote for her on the basis of logic. When the Hillary folks were talking about electability, and the Bern folks were saying that was not a distinction between the two, I wonder if the Bern or Bust folks meant they wouldn’t show up to vote either way.

          • goonemeritus

            because we have two, if we were octopi we would have to reload our revolvers.

          • MsAnthropesMr

            The thing that made me lose the most respect for Sanders was Barney Frank’s several takedowns of Sanders.

          • Biff52

            Those actually had the opposite effect for me. Frank came off as more out of touch than Sanders.

          • MsAnthropesMr

            huh. Interesting. I will reread to see if I get something else out of it.

          • Biff52

            As in all things political, it’s all about whose ox is being gored. I’m still Team Bernie, so I might be looking at his detractors more critically. (Looking at you, John Lewis.)

          • MsAnthropesMr

            Hmm. Interesting – I was pretty neutral on both Dems, but then I read the pieces by Frank and it pushed me towards Hils – Always admired Frank, and his criticism of Bernie took me by surprise, so I paid attention.

          • Courser

            Same here. I actually liked Bernie, but felt that the woman who’s had a microscope up her ass for the last 30 years just *might* have a bit more experiences with the levers of power than an Independant Senator from Vermont.

            And he’s got some pretty big negatives now for me. He’s not interested in helping with the downticket races or really thinking about us Dems as a whole. Of course he’s not a Democrat, so why should he care?

        • JSmoke420

          Hillary also has 3 million more total votes than Bernie.

          • kindness

            Made the mistake of looking at the comments over at RawStory on this very story. OMG, the BernieBros are on rampage over there. It is really hard being civil.

          • Sakonyachen

            Don’t you SHEEPLe know!!!?’h
            The P0PULar VOTE is just anOTHER CLINTONE scheme by WALL sTREET LIZuRD pEOPLeTO stOPP BuRNIE!!!!

            Did I do that right? I love Bernie’s views, but the only thing I dislike more than his campaign skills are the logical gymnastics some people will do to claim he is winning.

        • beavertank

          Or if they didn’t scream “PAID HILLARY PLANT!” every time someone points out the actual numerical delegate totals.

          …it’s objectively observable reality you insufferable twits. Just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean it’s not true.

      • Sakonyachen

        And are we also going to hold the election today? Because that would be the only reason to forego our democratic processes and nominate the guy who isn’t winning

    • Serai 1

      I am so looking forward to their impotent screaming when this whole email thing comes to nothing – AGAIN.

  • baconzgood

    I saw Hot Mess Zebra Twats open for Sonic Youth at the CBGB’S.

    • Pickwicknext

      Sounds like a band Hilly would have put up

    • Metadude

      Good times!

    • TheGrandWaz00

      The White Stripes really nailed it that night.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    The absence of evidence is just proof of how devious she is. Nobody can go this long without getting caught unless they are deliberately trying to throw investigators off their track.

    • Antimassacree

      Perhaps if they threw her into a pond. Her floating would be definitive proof of her conspiring with Satan. Failure to float would at least clear her name.

      • Pickwicknext

        Anyone have some small rocks handy for comparison?

      • baconzgood

        Or if she weighs as much as a duck.

      • eddi

        If she walked on water it would cause riots.

        • Master Contrail Program

          Too good to swim, huh? Elitist!!

          • wurman

            Also, too, putting middle American, rust belt ferry boat crews out of work.

    • MrBlobfish

      That’s what she wants you to think. Or does she?

    • CJTX

      I’ll just leave this right here:
      https://youtu.be/zvpam38IOgA?t=40

      • H0mer0

        [the things I miss since Comcast took away me cartoon netwerk

    • Logic of Color

      My right-wing brother is convinced that of course she did all the bad stuff but she’ll never get caught because “Clinton” or something. She’s a liar and a criminal and also a liar because everybody just knows that.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        I always enjoy those trips down the logic hole. She (or Obama) is dumb enough to commit some monumentally stupid crime, but simultaneously smart enough to mastermind the most brilliant cover-up in history.

        • H0mer0

          almost like worrying about Ricki-Tikki-Tavi fighting Nagaina down in the snakehole for too long then the relief of him emerging from the hole with a dead cobra.

      • cmd

        I have a similar right wing brother! He would die if he knew my republican mom is probably going to vote for Hillary. I will of course not tell him because I don’t want him to try to browbeat her. And I will say that she came to this decision without any influence from me, undue or not.

    • Sakonyachen

      Now that I think about that, I shouldn’t have voted for Bernie in the Primary. There is so little negative about him that he is most certainly the antichrist!!!! Why else would they say FELE THE BREN!!12!

      Philosophy!

  • Antimassacree

    Hannity has been flogging the “James Comey Primary” that Hillary must win, while having already concluded that if there is no indictment it only will have been the result of political pressure from the White House and DNC. Something tells me the eventual investigation conclusion with no indictment will get something less than ‘fair and balanced’ coverage.

    • Pickwicknext

      More words whose meanings are extinct!

      • Antimassacree

        Suffering from years of association with Faux News. A rose by any other name smells as sweet; shit by any other name smells like Fox News.

        • Biff52

          A friend of mine named his manure spreader “foxnews”. True story.

  • MrBlobfish

    The most scrutinized woman in America is going to do something dumb and stupid and illegal. Got it.

    • eddi

      The Rebs cannot believe anyone, especially a woman, can get as far in the political arena without doing something illegal. Since they abuse their power for personal gain and/ideological gaming, everybody has to.

      • H0mer0

        “both sides do it”

      • Lamashtar

        I don’t understand why they haven’t shown evidence of speeding tickets yet.

        • eddi

          Saving it as the big shocker in November.

  • timpundit

    I posted this on my faceplacster page and my conservative friends say “yeah, maybe not WILLFULLY”. There is no winning with them.

    • CJTX

      Tell them to google mens rea

      • Pickwicknext

        No! It’ll be something dirty!

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        They don’t want to know about her bleeding out of her wherever.

      • jmk

        Sounds furrin.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      lol. Wilfully: to knowingly share information that is classified at the time you share it with somebody who is not authorized to have that information.

      Opposite of wilfully : didn’t do anything wrong.

    • Antimassacree

      She concedes her error in judgment, but not willfully jeopardizing confidential information, a distinction lost on RWNJs who point to the punishment given to Petraus who did willfully disclose confidential information. Willfull ignorance should be at least a misdemeanor.

      • DoILookAmused2u ?

        Her error in judgement was that she could do what her predecessors had done by having a private email account because .gov email is an unclassified system.

        In short, one standard for her, and another for others.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Thus it always is with Rethugs. Projection, Always.

      • Courser

        Oh yes. Of *course* the military brass can do no wrong.

      • Frank Underboob

        Military personnel are subject to much stricter laws than civilians.

        • Lamashtar

          Technically, cheating on your spouse is a crime under the UCMJ too!

  • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

  • nightmoth

    Where there’s smoke, there’s a bunch of 10 year old boys trying to send smoke signals while playing cowboys and Indians.

    • RobKanC

      Or a couple of stoners getting high.

      • nightmoth

        Gawd—I wish we could get Trey Gowdy high–it would be an improvement.

        • Courser

          I’ve love to get him as high as fuck and then screw with his head. Good Times for All!!

  • dshwa

    The strange bedfellows of Bernie Bros and RWNJ are all convinced that because the FBI gave somebody immunity during the investigation there must be something to it. Look Bernie folks, if you are parroting RWNJ talking points ur doin’ it wrong.

  • RoyalUglyDude

    But the absence of evidence is not evidence of absence! Or something.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    No wrongdoing found.

    Yet.

    (Hope springs eternal amongst the vermin of the Village.)

    • eddi

      The Benghazi Committee will still be meeting in 2120 looking for evidence. Of the crimes we are inflicting on future generations, this one is the funniest.

      • DoILookAmused2u ?

        It will be going on until nobody associated with the Obama Administration is running for President or occupying an elected or appointed position.

        Let’s face it. This fell off the face of the Earth after Romney lost, and it came back to life like a brain-eating zombie when Clinton started thinking about running for President.

        And it was only briefly brought up as a fund-raiser in 2014.

        • eddi

          The way it is constantly expanding it will involve the entire human species by 2080. Expect your summons about 2052.

          • DoILookAmused2u ?

            I laughed at Trey Gowdy and the rest of the Republicans on the committee during Clinton’s testimony.

            I have been expecting a summons.

          • Courser

            I wish ’em good luck with that. I’ll likely be dead by 2052 or so close to it that I’ll be drooling my Metamucil.

          • eddi

            And Trey Goudy will be a brain in a jar. Too bad I’m gonna miss that day on CSPAN.

          • Frank Underboob

            Oh sure, like anyone would waste a perfectly good jar on that fuckhead.

          • Sakonyachen

            I said the same thing before I saw your comment. But I do think it would be beneficial to study how someone that stupid could remember to breathe.

          • bupkus23

            A Mason jar, once buried in a Mississippi backyard, but now under two feet of Gulf of Mexico

          • eddi

            That’s gonna alter the census results. Something else the Rebs aren’t considering.

          • Sakonyachen

            What a waste of a perfectly useful jar!

          • theCryptofishist

            He can room with Jar-Jar.

          • Biff52

            I’ll be a mere centenarian!

          • Sakonyachen

            It will beat the summons I probably deserve. I’d be happy to do what Hillary did with Gowdy Doody. Maybe Ted Cruz will be my interrogator. I will laugh every time he talks!

          • eddi

            Just keep calling him “Mr. Squeaker”.

      • bupkus23

        Or until the Democrats win back the majority of the House, once an unreachable dream, now only dependent on how much more the GOP can fuck itself up. Maybe not 2017, but ( despite historical turnout problems in midterms ) maybe 2019.

        No matter how stupid most of America is, the GOP’s bleeding has only started…

        • eddi

          They’ll have fun, fun, fun ’til the voters take their seats away. And exist in such total denial the whining when it happens will attract mosquitoes mistaking it for a mating call.

          • Lamashtar

            Don’t worry, Democrats have an inherent ability to be their own worst enemies. Like my local rep Dem, who voted for the NC potty bill. :(

          • eddi

            Southern Democrats are weird political animals. So many are old Dixiecrats that stayed in the Party to avoid confusing their followers. Now they confuse everybody else by generally behaving exactly like a Republican.

      • Jukesgrrl

        Wouldn’t surprise me. There are still people out there looking for Obama’s Kenyan birth certificate. One of those idiots is Donald Trump, if I remember correctly.

    • H0mer0

      maybe they are hoping she slips up and does a Martha Stewart (who really didn’t do anything wrong)

  • Crank Tango

    This is good news for McCain.

  • RobKanC

    Oh crap. Does this mean I am going to have to go through 1000 different petitions on my Facebook page from Bernie bros calling everyone from UN to Russia to investigate the FBI investigation cos they are sure it’s voter fraud.

    • Lizzietish81

      Oh at least.

    • Frank Underboob

      Um, no. You can expect them to come from Trump supporters. We Sanders supporters have substantive reasons to object to Clinton, not this bizarro National Enquirer style bullshit.

      • RobKanC

        Tell that to my Facebook page. Sad thing is I have actually lost respect for a few friends because of crap like this. As i said before, this election is quite eye opening.

        • Frank Underboob

          I’m starting feeling the same way about lots of HRC supporters I know. Looks like Trump’s strategy is working.

      • Apple Scruff

        There are a lot of Bernie supporters who sound an awful lot like Republicans right now.

        • Felix

          Thats because some Republicans are actually supporting him. There’s an awful lot of Hillary supporters going rabidly and without merit after Bernie and his supporters…or they may just be paid trolls from CorrectTheRecord PAC.

          • countvoncount

            Every time someone posts something pro-Hillary, they’re accused of being a “paid troll for Shillary.” Correct the Record only put $1 million into the project to, you know, correct the record. If everyone accused of being a paid troll was actually being paid, it would be more along the lines of the $16 mil paid to Revolution Messaging by Sanders, and not the paltry $1 mil from CTR. And seriously, the vast majority of Hillary supporters have moved on from Bernie and his Bots — the primary is over, no matter how much ol’ man Sanders wishes his moment in the sun would go on forever and ever.

          • Apple Scruff

            I want to know how to get me one of these Paid Troll positions. Because if you are to believe these Bernie people, there are lots of them out there! Summer’s coming…I could use some extra spending cash.

          • Sakonyachen

            Which all makes sense except for the ” old” crack. She will be his age in 4 years. Does she plan to be a one termer? Or will old be okay then because it’s your candidate?

          • Lamashtar

            (They’re both old.)

          • jmk

            Sorry, but as someone who has been on the receiving end of some really awful insults and slagging-off – sometimes from people I thought were friends – because I’ve said I support Hillary, I’ve got to entirely disagree with you. What I’ve been seeing is a whole lot of Hillary supporters saying “you know, we have more in common than we have dividing us,” and a whole lot of Bernie supporters saying “fuck you, bitch, you paid shill.”

          • MissNomer

            ,,,,

          • jmk

            Pretty much it in a nutshell…

        • Frank Underboob

          The problem is that their are a lot of Trump supporters trying to stir up trouble by pretending to be Sanders supporters. They’re also aided by people who assume that anyone who who rags on Clinton is a Sanders supporter – as though the wingnuts haven’t been ragging on her for the last couple of decades.
          TL;DR: I know it’s a pain, but when you run into someone you think is a “BernieBro”, please take a minute or two to check their comment history before assuming that they’re a Sanders supporter.

          • DT

            Oh, so now it’s a conspiracy. You’re walling yourself off to critical thought. I KNOW FOR A FACT that these are “real” Bernie supporters. It’s not randos on the internet.

          • Frank Underboob

            I KNOW FOR A FACT that these are “real” Bernie supporters.

            LOL. Sure you do, Ms/Mr Blank Avatar. Care to share some of those “facts” with the rest of us?

          • DT

            They’re real people I know. Seriously, you’re a pretentious asshole. And somehow because you have a picture from money that makes you more trustworthy?

          • Frank Underboob

            Wait, what? When the hell did I ask you to trust me? I’m arguing that you’re no more trustworthy than any other rando on teh Interwubz. I’m sure that you’re completely sincere in what you’re saying, but that doesn’t make you right, just as 100% sincerity doesn’t make the fundy Bathroom Police right.

          • DT

            That is not what your argument was, and if it was what you intended it to be you need to work on your rhetorical skills.

          • jmk

            I’m getting this shit from people I know, and have known for some time who I know to be Bernie supporters. It’s not all ratfucking from the Drumpf campaign.

            Personally, I try to excuse it by blaming it on refugees from Rand Paul’s failed campaign.

          • Frank Underboob

            Every campaign has some assholes, unfortunately.

          • jmk

            Tru dat, yo.

          • MissNomer

            Bernie’s just has exponentially more of them.

          • Frank Underboob

            Are you seriously arguing that Sanders’ supporters are worse than Trump’s, etc?

          • Lamashtar

            Some people don’t check everything in their candidate’s platform. I used to like Ron Paul and Ross Perot. My mother found Santorum such a delightful man she let him put a sign on her lawn. And Fox lies have been so ubiquitous.

          • jmk

            Hey… I voted for Anderson in my first presidential election. I’ve experienced the bandwagon.

          • Jukesgrrl

            I’ve been a contributor to Bernie’s campaign since before he was an actual candidate and these Bernie Bros do NOT speak for me. I am a Progressive first and a Democrat second, so I will happily vote for Hillary if she is the nominee. Sen. Sanders has been successful in moving her to the left, therefore, every penny I ever give him (I’m still contributing via a monthly donation) is worth it. Anyone, ANYONE, who would think that a vote for Trump rather than Clinton is an appropriate response to Bernie losing the nomination was never a Democrat of any kind. In fact, I doubt if most of these Bernie Bros have ever voted before. I have a feeling some of the people who go to the polls to vote for Trump are going to be left saying, “What do you mean where is my voter registration card? What’s that?”

          • DT

            Nothing you’re saying is in any way contradictory to what I was saying.

          • MissNomer

            ^^^Berniebros’ favorite excuse^^^

          • Frank Underboob

            Oh great, the Hillbots are out in force to fight with the Trumpbots. Lucky, lucky us.

        • Sakonyachen

          You mean like when Hillary supporters told me I was unreasonable and radical? Because I wanted substantive change now? Let the mature adults slowly and incrementally fix our problems? Because there’s nothing conservative about slowly and conservatively, oops I mean incrementally, changing the system, is there? It’s working out great for poor people so far. Calling people naive and wide eyed liberals is not only a right wing talking point, it’s an ideology. I’ve seen no shortage of Clinton supporters using this argument, carefully wording it to not accuse people of being too liberal. I wouldn’t worry about how right wing even the most pathetic BernieBro sounds. AND I’m still going to vote for Clinton.

          • Apple Scruff

            Okay, dude. Take a deep breath. In…. and out…. in…. and out…

            Though, scotch on the rocks will do it too (and quicker).

            It’ll be okay. I promise.

          • Sakonyachen

            Oh no! Scotch will not end well with me. I do love it though. AlexJones sounds like Socrates compared to me after Scotch.

          • MissNomer

            So you’re after scotch right now, then?

          • Sakonyachen

            12 pack of 7.2% beers. So sorta the same effect.

      • DT

        Oh how I wish that were true. I would probably still be a Bernie supporter.

      • MissNomer

        I don’t think you can speak for all Sanders supporters, because I get the “hawkish nature/Lybia[sic]/Syria crap ALL the time from my Berniebro friends.

        • Frank Underboob

          I don’t think you can speak for all Sanders supporters, because I get the “hawkish nature/Lybia[sic]/Syria crap ALL the time from my Berniebro friends.

          Oh sure, because you totally have “BernieBro” friends. You sound like a racist talking about their one black friend.

    • Felix

      Most Bernie supporters don’t like Hillary’s hawkish nature as shown in treatment of the Honduran coup or her push for military solutions in Senate and Secretary of state. Most “berniebros” don’t exist.

    • Sakonyachen

      Add more zeros

  • Boomer

    Mexican Word of the day: PIZZACHIP.

    Usage: Anyone who supports hillary is a PIZZACHIP!

    • CapnFatback

      And Boomer should know; he got his PhD in Mexican.

      • Sakonyachen

        Pffft!!!!! I doubt that. He spells Messican with an X.

  • I had a discussion with an American (from Minnesota, dontchaknow) the other day, she’s generally a fairly bright person, but she was going on about how she couldn’t vote for Hillary because of all the people that died under suspicious circumstances around her… I honestly was floored that people outside of the FoxNewsBubble fell for all that garbage

    • sw19womble

      You keep repeating a lie (or several lies) for long enough…

      • Apple Scruff

        That’s Trumps strategy!

        • theCryptofishist

          You know who else relied on a “big lie” strategy?

    • Swampgas_Man

      It’s like calling Obama “The most divisive President ever”. If YOU’RE the one raising the suspicions and doing the dividing, you have to project it on to others.

      • jmk

        I keep trying to point out that if someone been accused of lying (and worse) about 3557472957 different things over the last 30 years, but no one has ever managed to even indict her for one of those lies… she ain’t the one doing the lying.

        Flies right over their heads.

  • Bill Slider

    Evan, even one of your sponsors above is ‘in the tank.’ Their advert states when your data is out of sight and out of mind, it is out of control. LOL

  • Belasaurius

    Worst. Conspiracy. Ever.

    • Jenny

      But they worked so hard on it. :(

    • eddi

      The Rebs are desperate. They need revenge on the Dems for driving Nixon out of power. Slick Willy dodged the bullet. Barry is untouchable. So Hillary is their last hope.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        It really does all come down to that. One of them actually blurted out, in 1998, that Impeaching Clinton was payback for all the Whitewater investigations, which would have resulted in the Impeachment and CONVICTION of Richard Nixon, if he hadn’t resigned first. When Barry Goldwater, of all people, visits you in the Oval Office and says “the jig is up, you don’t have the 1/3 of the body you need to acquit”, it means your goose is cooked and there are people lining up on the street for their portion.

        • Gary Charound

          I think you mean Watergate, not Whitewater.

        • eddi

          I think you mean Watergate. Whitewater was a shot at the Clintons.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            Yeah, Watergate. Easy to conflate them…all those Ws.

            Hey! Maybe THAT is why all the Ws mysteriously (ha!) were removed from keyboards during the transition from Big Dog to deserting coward?

          • H0mer0

            and even editorials in the WaPo suggesting they count the silverware to make sure the Clintons didn’t take it with them. I guess that meme was disproven definitively or they would still be f-ing that chicken like they are with Foster’s death (they were even trying to link the Starbucks triple murder in Georgetown with the Clintons)

          • artem1s

            oh just wait until Bamz leaves the WH. They’ll resurrect all that old shit all over again.

        • JMP

          It still is that they want “revenge” for Nixon, forgetting how he committed actual crimes and was a crook and should have been kicked out of office.

          • cmd

            I am not a crook.

        • Lamashtar

          I can’t believe there are Republicans that felt that was an insult to their party. I have never heard anyone actually blame Republicanism for Nixon.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …I would like to confess my sins. I actually liked the KFC Double Down!

    https://media.giphy.com/media/l41lVPeEzZlDFA2f6/giphy.gif

    • cmd

      I never even heard of the KFC Double Down, but I have been making derisive comments about the McRib for years, and will NEVER try one.

      • CJTX

        God I hated my days at McD’s when the McRib was available…what a disgusting mess. And I love crap fast food.

        • cmd

          I worked at McDonald’s before the McRib was invented. The most exotic thing on the menu was either the Big Mac or the Quarter Pounder. I just can’t even imagine eating one.

          • therblig

            never forget that years before the summer of george, there was the McDLT

          • ColumbusLib

            Hot side hot, cool side cool. I worked at McD’s when they had the McDLT, and it was my fav… Haven’t eaten red meat in 28 years now, but it still tastes good in my memory!

      • therblig

        ms. blig and i always called mcribs the “bloody finger” sandwich

      • Sakonyachen

        I love McRibs! But I have also been known to have a 12 pack for dinner or drop a ten strip of acid. One would do best to not do as I do.

    • beavertank

      It’s ok, everyone has at least one awful, shameful, potentially life destroying secret.

      • Steve H

        yup, jalepeno poppers.

      • AngryBlakGuy

        …I have more secrets than the CIA my friend

    • Master Contrail Program

      It’s only shameful when you make a McColonel Gangbang, by placing the Double Down, inside a McGriddle.

      “Whoa, slow down there, Caligula!”

      • Sakonyachen

        I am not sure if I would eat that or fap to it.

    • Bill Slider

      So does your cardiologist.

      • Lamashtar

        My doctor actually prefers me eating protein to carbohydrates.

    • sw19womble

      Is that like a fast food turducken or something?

    • Biff52

      I only had one, and it came with a hair the thickness of piano wire, so it never got finished.

      • beavertank

        Sounds like your average visit to a KFC then.

      • AngryBlakGuy

        …it’s technically no longer on the menu but I would go to my local KFC so often during the week to get one, they now make an “off the menu” double down when I come by.

    • Dutchman

      Bring out yer ded! Bring out yer ded!

    • Doug Langley

      So sorry. We’ll have to make you wear the Scarlett K.

      • AngryBlakGuy

        …would all the stains from Double Down juice be ok instead?

        • Doug Langley

          Sure, we can improvise.

  • CapnFatback

    If the FBI says there’s no concern, that should be the final word. They’re very tenacious when it comes to crimes commited by U.S. Presidents. Why, Johnny Utah took down Reagan, Carter, Nixon, and Johnson in one fell swoop.

    • Master Contrail Program

      100% pure adrenaline!

  • NoGoodnik

    I like that Trey Gowdy. He is a moral man. He knows that the only way to avoid being bamboozled by the guilty slippery Hillary is an abstinence of evidence. He has taken his vow of abstinence until conviction!

    United Fucking States of Fucking Stupid

  • Frank Underboob

    “Where there’s smoke, it’s usually leaking out of the empty rectum holes of dead-ender losers who are just pretty sure Hillary did all the bad things, but they can never actually find her doing the bad things, but anyway, that is where that fart-flavored smoke is coming from.”

    This right here is the kind of poetry that keeps me coming back to this site.

    • DemmeFatale

      I wish I had my own personal Evan to sic on all the idiots I encounter every day.

      • Frank Underboob

        He’s a great role model for any Interbuttz user to emulate.

      • theCryptofishist

        Perhaps a few of us could get together and share an Evan.

  • Bill Slider

    Trump-Gowdy 2016, the perfect GOP ticket. The liberal media could refer to it as the mohair-nohair ticket. Others might call it the my dick is smaller than your dick ticket.

  • Blackest Noobs

    a co-worker of mine, a really really nice lady, said Hillary would get convicted because of the emails and that Obama would pardon her.

    I laughed a good 10 minutes. I also pointed out that if a MAN did like Hillary, no one would bat an eyelash about it. I also reminded her when they tried to impeach Bubba Clinton, that all those involved were worse than Bill, heck, one was a fucking child molester who for years paid hush money to those persons he molested.

    i also told her this whole email thing is a farce, it’s a wet dream gone bad for Republicans because they are literally placing all their bets on the “truthiness” Hillary did something criminal and not on things like i dunno actual fucking FACTS.

    sorry dumb red-meaters….you can’t convict a powerful rich white woman with conjecture or because you feel like she’s crooked.

    I also mentioned Hillary Clinton has no past convictions either.

    • sw19womble

      And when you stopped talking, did she just pick up exactly where she left off, like nothing had happened?

      • Blackest Noobs

        nah, she left the room.

        • sw19womble

          Well, that’s progress.

    • Frank Underboob

      I always like to remind fuckwits like that that Chimpy & Cheney ran their own mail server, & nobody said boo to them when they simply destroyed it after word got out.

      • jmk

        Worse still… they ran it through the fucking RNC, and the world went “meh.”

    • wurman

      Maybe on Lawrence O’Donnell last night somebody (maybe Jonathan Alter) pointed out that the State Dept. servers, computers, blackberrys, blueberries, dingleberries, etc., were hacked. My opinion is that Ex-PFC Chelsea (Bradley) Manning and Russian spymaster Eric Snowden acquired and spread “Top Secret” Specially Compartmented Information Eyes Only Cryptographic Time Division Multiple Access messages all over the interwebz. So far, there has not been even an allegation that Hilz server and blackberry were hacked. How droll.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    William Jefferson Clinton: Blackhawk down, wailing and gnashing of teeth, pulling out of hair.

    George W. Bush: 3000 dead on 9/11, 13 Benghazis, 4500+ US troop deaths/32,000+ casualties, 129 Blackhawks down. Are you with us or the terrorists?

    Barack Obama: 1400 US troop deaths in Afghanistan, 123 in Iraq, 1 Benghazi. 0 Blackhawks down. Benghazi!!!!!!!!

  • Victor

    My guess is Evan Hurst has never been granted a Top Secret/SAP clearance. Otherwise he would cringe at the idea that the nation’s top diplomat conducted business over a non-secure non-government server. Her entire case rests on the fact that the thousands of classified emails found on her server were not MARKED classified at the time. She is not denying that they are classified, and is suggesting that they were retroactively “over-classified.” No one who is familiar with Special Access Programs would have ANY DOUBT that the emails she received were highly classified; that she knew the contents were classified; and that she ignored security protocols in order to shield her emails from public scrutiny. This is typical Clintonesque ethical swarminess… This story will not end with the FBI investigation whether she’s indicted or not. This is a step back, not a step forward for our nation.

    • CJTX

      Yeah….no.

    • JMP

      Hahahahhahahaha.

      No, her entire case rests on the fact that every single one of the dozens of witch-hunting investigations into this “scandal” have proved she did nothing wrong. Just like every single one of the other “scandals” the right-wing has invented and tried to pin on Hillary Clinton, which all turned out to be complete made-up bullshit. As always, Clinton is a highly ethical person beset by highly unethical enemies who like to invents phony “scandals” to try and smear her with, and anyone who treats those “scandals” seriously proves to be either a liar, an idiot or both.

      But please, keep fucking that chicken.

      • Blackest Noobs

        i am enjoying how they are putting all their eggs in this basket, it’s what us gamblers call a BAD BET, you’re gonna lose in the end.

      • Biff52

        This just proves how deep the conspiracy goes! Can’t you see it?

      • DoILookAmused2u ?

        Worse, they have leaked documents that were classified after-the-fact knowing they were classified.

        I wonder if they will refer themselves to the FBI? Gowdy!!!!!

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Gowdy. Classification protocols are only for Democrats.

      • Frank Underboob

        “Clinton is a highly ethical person”
        Um, no, but I agree with you on the rest.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          She’s a highly ethical person compared to any of her many sworn enemies.

          • Frank Underboob

            Okay, good point.

    • Felix

      General McChrystal knows.

    • dshwa

      I love the smell of desperation in the mid afternoon. She should have known not to follow established protocols! She should have anticipated retroactive classification to avoid pesky FOIA requests years later! Blah blah blah boring.

    • therblig

      apparently, the name of the lone ranger’s nephew’s horse really is “victor”. now this post is interesting.

      • JerryRich

        Ranger: Hi Yo Silver!
        Tonto: Get ’em up Scout!
        Dan Reid Jr.: Come on,Victor!

    • itoldyou

      H Has to be indicted because she committed many crimes.

      • Biff52

        SO many crimes, yooge crimes, you wouldn’t believe how many crimes. Unbelievable.

        • Suse

          Terrific crimes, even.

          • H0mer0

            Fabulous?

        • starfanglednut

          Bad!

        • Doug Langley

          Oh mah Gawd!! This Bidenitis is contagious!!!

      • Suse

        Prove it. We won’t wait…

      • jmk

        If you can name one actual crime she’s committed…

        …you’ll be the first person in 30 years to have done so.

        • Rachel Book Harlot

          She did the nae nae on national tv. I have to believe that’s an actual crime somewhere.

          • jmk

            Well…who among us has not nae nae’d on camera?

            *there’s video of me doing it at a wedding. Much booze had flowed.

    • Frank Underboob

      Otherwise he would cringe at the idea that the nation’s top diplomat conducted business over a non-secure non-government server.

      You mean like Chimpy & Cheney did?

      • Biff52

        That was different, because Republican!

        • Villago Delenda Est

          DING DING DING DING DING DING

      • Victor

        Two wrongs make a right according to Frank Underboob. Bravo.

        • Frank Underboob

          My point being that nobody but hysterical wingnuts cares about this “issue” & that’s only because it’s Clinton.

        • Serai 1

          Way to deflect, Big Brain.

    • I think it’s a safe assumption that Evan has never been granted Top Secret / SAP clearance.

      But I could be totally wrong. That’s the thing about Top Secret clearance.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Well, I HAVE held a TS clearance, and worked with NRAS stuff, and that’s all I’ll say about this, because Victor is a security risk.

      • bupkus23

        The thing about TOP SECRET/Special Access Programs clearances is that so many people claim to have held, or otherwise had experience with them.

        Seriously – with the periodic reports that too many people hold these clearances, and are thus a national security risk, I guess it shouldn’t be surprising that so many people want to pretend they have or had them and/or “are familiar” with them.

        Hi, SAP! Howyadoin?

        • Sakonyachen

          Don’t you love how people on the internet have SAP clearance, a black friend, a Ph.D., are former marines and were born in a dumpster to a crack whore if it suits their current argument?

          • Suse

            Bingo!

    • Dutchman

      You are correct, this story will not end. Just as with all 848 brazillion loads of excrement that have been flung at anyone named Clinton for the past 30ish years from such reliable sources as Alex Jones and some guy named Victor. So which are you? VRWCDB or BernieBot….AOT,K?

      And when I say anyone named Clinton, I’m including George and the fabulously wonderful Chelsea.

      • Suse

        What about Clinton Eastwood (his real name)? He surely needs investigatin’ for something.

        • jmk

          CHAIRGHAZI!!!!

      • Latverian Diplomat

        “The Erie canal was a scam. DeWitt Clinton should be locked up! Argle bargle!”

      • Victor

        Dutchman is a real name? Sounds like BS to me.

        • Suse

          Is that really all you’ve got, Goober?

    • NoGoodnik

      You do realize that the State Department server was hacked by the Chinese during her tenure as Secretary of State, so she actually saved some secrets by her little scheme. She’s a bona fide hero.

      • Victor

        A non-sequitur if ever I heard one.

        • Valkyrie

          Seems like you’ve never heard one, then.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      My guess is you know fucking nothing about what you’re talking about. Hillary Clinton had a SCIF at her disposal for all “burn before reading” correspondence. The mail server in question was for unclassified traffic only, and there’s no evidence that she ever passed classified information over it. Well, except stuff that was classified AFTER she used the mail server to send it, and for technical reasons.

      You are, then, a security risk in your own right for being so pig-ignorant about the actual facts of the matter.

      • CJTX

        Yeah, all those emails about “the Good Wife’ and gilftefish were TOP SECRET, EYES ONLY !!!11!!!

      • Victor

        And, you, are someone I hope never to meet. My guess is you would defend Hitler.

        • thenearesthippie

          Now we can’t play “You know who else VDE would defend?” Fuck you.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            Let’s see now. George Lucas. No, wait, can’t do that. Jar-Jar, after all.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          And this brilliant comeback, content free, is the best that “Victor” can do.

          Pathetic.

        • JMP

          No, he’s defending the person who is almost certain to become our next President – and, like our current great President, looks like she’ll do a good job of it too.

        • Enfant Terrible

          People who use inappropriate hyperbole are worse than Hitler.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      Like Colin Powell did?

      Nothing anybody at State thought was classified would go out over a .gov email server. Full stop. That’s why they have SCIP.

      • Frank Underboob

        Exactly.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        If laughing boy “Victor” paid attention during the 11 hour Trey flop sweat extravaganza, they discussed that Hillary had a SCIF for actual classified correspondence.

        But laughing boy “Victor” obviously has his talking points.

        • DemmeFatale

          And Trump questions her stamina!
          (Like he’d last for 30 mins. of this crap.)

          • cynmac

            Trump can’t even answer Wolf Blitzer’s softball questions without equivocating.

      • Victor

        Colin Powell did not have an email SERVER containing over 2000 classified emails. He sent a few classified emails over an unclassified system- AOL. BIG DIFFERENCE. Get your facts straight.

        • Bemused

          The AOL servers are basically public servers, accessible to thousands and thousands of people. A private server is NOT accessible to thousands and thousands of people. A private server is only accessible to a few people. And Bill isn’t that kind of security risk.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Exqueeze me, but where, outside the confines of your admittedly limited cranium and Faux Noise has it been established that there were over 2000 classified emails on a server not authorized for classified traffic? Well, at least classified at the time they were composed and sent, and not retroactively classified?

    • Lefty Frizzell

      It would be a huge gamble to have an email server to shield your emails from public scrutiny, when any nefarious email you send effectively becomes public domain as soon as the person at the other end reads it.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        No one ever thinks these things through. Once it’s on the ‘net (Looking at you Weiner, you fucking idiot) it’s public domain.

    • wurman

      Your guess is stupid. Read some edjibication: unless Sec. State Clinton originated a classified message, she has no responsibility for its release. As Sec. State, Mrs. Clinton was the “Classifying Authority” for the entire State Dept. She could classify, de-classify, disappear, or release any (that’s ANY) State information or messages. As Sec. State, she had no access to military or national intelligence information/messages. Such “stuff” would have to be sent to her, by someone else, because the State Dept. does not originate military or intelligence “stuff.” The FBI may be trying to figure out who in the Pentagon or out at Spook Central sent her classified “stuff.”

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      I am going to guess you have no idea what the Special Access Program is since it isn’t even called that.
      Even a little bit.

      • Victor

        It’s the name of the clearance, dummy, not the program. As it happens, I held a TS clearance.

        • Bemused

          You realize that that is basically the lowest clearance, right?

          • Lamashtar

            ..There’s also Secret, which makes you a glorified technician, and Confidential, which is a trainee.

        • Jukesgrrl

          Don’t you be calling Jen Baker a “dummy.” She’s an esteemed Wonkette, Dummy.

          • Suse

            Lamont Sanford libulz!!11!

    • MissNomer

      “Swarminess”? As in the quality of being swarmy, like bees? Does not scan.

      • theCryptofishist

        Thank you, that was going to be my next question.

  • Pollos Hermanos

    But but but Benghazi, Email, Soros, Alinsky, Sid Blumenthal, Vince Foster, lesbian Huma!!!!!!!!

    You’re killing their investigasm!!!!

    • theCryptofishist

      “investigasm” definitely deserves an upfist.

  • Ghost Buggy

    It’s something to see my conservative Facebook friends and my far-left liberal FB friends agreeing with each other that Hillary is ABSOLUTELY going to jail, do not pass Go, do not be lady president, Bernie/Trump 2016!

    • Suse

      The idiot wingnuts have been saying for months (maybe years) that they have it on good authority that the FBI is going to arrest her ANY MINUTE NOW!

      • Bemused

        pft. I see your years and raise you 2 decades.

      • Serai 1

        While the guys at the FBI are livid at having to waste money and time on this circle-jerking witch hunt nonsense.

        They should slap Gowdy with a big fat bill for all the waste.

  • itoldyou

    So H didn’t commit any crime well why doesn’t Comey give a press conference and lay out all the facts including the top secret info she had on her secret server and tell us why she has not committed many crimes

    • Frank Underboob

      Wait, you’re arguing that Comey should reveal “top secret info” in a public press conference? You might want to sit back & think about that for a while, Sherlock.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        I’m afraid hoofwanking bunglecunt does not do “think”.

      • bupkus23

        Don’t worry – once Trump gets his national security briefing, there will be no more secrets!

        • NoGoodnik

          That’s why they probably won’t give him anything but opened sourced information. Clinton on the other hand has kept her self well informed about the goings on around the world and probably has lots of secrets that she’s managed to keep. She won’t really need the security briefing.

          • DoILookAmused2u ?

            Once she is nominated, she will get one. The CIA is prepping.

            You would almost think they know this Benghazi business is all horseshit.

          • bupkus23

            No, she’ll need one – for the same reason why Presidents get daily briefings. The difference is, she’ll still have enough background that she won’t need every other item explained, and she won’t blow it off like it doesn’t matter…

          • shelwood

            Plus also too, she won’t need it in cartoon form like W did and Trump probably would.

      • Biff52

        SEKRIT SERVER! Don’t you get it?

      • itoldyou

        Didn’t Obama say the doc were not secret

        • Frank Underboob

          I’m just running with your idiotic theory, genius. If they were genuinely top secret, they’re not going to reveal them, are they?

    • NoGoodnik

      You know the law is that she KNOWINGLY passed secret information. She has to have had intent to distribute. She didn’t. There is no crime here.

      Also, as I stated to your compatriot, Victor, Clinton is a bona fide hero! She is. When the Chinese were hacking the State Department server, she had all the secrets on her private server. They got nothing. Boy that Clinton sure is a clever one.

      You do know all of these things, right? You sound like someone who keeps herself real well informed.

    • greyXstar

      If the info is top secret, then he can’t very well give a press conference about it, can he?

      Logic, how does it work?

      • itoldyou

        If it is TS then she committed many crimes

        • greyXstar

          Except that none of it is top secret, therefore there are no crimes. Go do something productive.

          • Jet Maier

            See “cookie recipe” Several posts up.

  • malsperanza

    You know who else is in the bag for Clinton? The voters.

    It’s like the whole deck is stacked against Real America, So unfair.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      I thought this was going to be another “who else” bit, but then you blew it by answering your own question. Unfair.

      • malsperanza

        Hitler is probably the only guy not in the bag for Clinton. He’s committed to Cruz.

    • Enfant Terrible

      Socks the Cat?

  • JackLinks

    Flashback: Rove Erases 22 Million White House Emails on Private Server at Height of U.S. Attorney Scandal – Media Yawns

    http://www.pensitoreview.com/2015/03/18/flashback-rove-erases-22-million-white-house-emails-on-private-server-at-height-of-u-s-attorney-scandal-media-yawns/

    • SamyyCiao

      Now there’s a real crook who should be in Jail – a Texas jail – where Bubba will be his lover!

      • cynmac

        Prison rape jokes are against the rules. Please read them. Thxbye.

        • SamyyCiao

          Some idiot sensor changed this meaning please stay off my comments!

          • cynmac

            No problem, Trolly.

      • yyyaz

        Are there no parks where you live? Libraries? Cinema? Cuz the internetz is not your friend.

        • SamyyCiao

          And you sure not – get off my pose loser!

      • jmk

        Bad Samyy. We have rules. You broke ’em.

        Ciao.

        • SamyyCiao

          Yep my mistake!

      • doktorzoom

        Please review the rules, particularly #2. We don’t do prison rape jokes here. There is nothing original about “his cellmate Bubba” jokes, and nothing funny about rape.

        — Dok Zoom, Yr Friendly Neighborhood Comments Moderator

        • SamyyCiao

          I started to read some of your posts and stopped because you a nut – you should be fired – your comments are being sent to the FCC!

          • doktorzoom

            I’m looking forward to the FCC firing me. You do realize that the owners of a blog have every right to moderate comments, and to delete comments which violate their own moderation standards?

  • BMW

    This makes the score Hillary Clinton 6, Republican Witchhunt Crew 0.

    • malsperanza

      Whitewater
      Vince Foster
      Benghazi
      Emails
      That whole thing with the chocolate chip cookie recipe
      Deflategate

      What else am I forgetting?

      • DoILookAmused2u ?

        Haircutgate, Travelgate, CattlefuturesGate.

        • JD Mulvey

          Chipotl-gate.
          Rope-line-gate.

          • DoILookAmused2u ?

            Troopergate. Almost forgot those idiots.

          • Latverian Diplomat

            “Hey, State Troopers wouldn’t lie about something a ‘perp’ did, OK? “

        • malsperanza

          I don’t remember haircutgate. Wasn’t that Kucinich?

          • DoILookAmused2u ?

            No. Airforce 1 stopped off at an airport and tied up some parking space while Bill Clinton’s hair stylist flew in to give him a haircut, costing $700 for haircut + expenses.

            The scandal. It still stings.

          • anwisok

            Actually, it did a bit more than tie up parking space. It only caused a delay for one flight, but 2 runways were shut down for an hour, and the tower had to work their asses off to route traffic on the remaining runways. It made him look like an arrogant ass, absolutely absent any self-awareness.

          • DoILookAmused2u ?

            lol – somebody is still butthurt over haircutgate.

          • anwisok

            Not me. I just knew it was a bit more than stated, so I hit Wiki to get some details. And it DID look horrible at the time! In fact, he late stated that he thought they were parked where they wouldn’t interfere with airport operations, and if he had known, he wouldn’t have done it.

          • Suse

            I thought that was John Edwards.

          • Latverian Diplomat

            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_Clinton_haircut_controversy

            I think the Clinton thing was a specific incident. The Edwards thing was more of a general vanity character flaw, though there was that one video of him endlessly preening that was fairly ridiculous.

          • Biff52

            Pfft. John “Breck Girl” Edwards’ haircuts cost $400 retail, $1250 delivered.

          • cynmac

            I wonder what Rick “Gov Good Hair” Perry pays?!

          • Jukesgrrl

            I’ve also heard that Perry pays Jerry Jones’ son-in-law fly in to Austin to clean his glasses.

          • cleos_mom

            As I recall, it turned out he paid for it out of his salary but the harrumphing continued.

        • shelwood

          Is bringing Jon Snow back from the dead a plus or minus?

        • cleos_mom

          GoldmanGate.

      • cmd

        Yeah, that cookie thing.

      • jmk

        “All the terrible things Hillary Clinton has done.. “http://www.marketwatch.com/story/all-the-terrible-things-hillary-clinton-has-done-in-one-big-list-2016-02-04

        • theCryptofishist

          I thought we’d reached bottom when they discovered “HRC’ on Willie Horton’s weekend past, but then there was Lt. Calley coming out of his catatonia just long enough to say who told him the village needed saving.

          • jmk

            OMG She DID write “It Takes a Village”!!! WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!!11!!!!

      • greyXstar

        She’s also responsible for all the recent Hearthstone card nerfs, and for the ‘sexy cosplay’ trend that has totes ruined all of cosplay and made everyone feel unsafe everywhere forever!!

      • cat cafe

        Wild-eyed Saul Alinsky liberal (before they pivoted to “Republican Wall St. corporate tool”)

      • Serai 1

        The pantsuits. CLEARLY a conspiracy to brainwash women into leaving their husbands.

    • SamyyCiao

      Sorry you just missed the news on FBI going to interview Hillary next week!

      • JD Mulvey

        All the people without your fine-tuned radio receiver helmet missed it.

        • SamyyCiao

          Real cute JD – now get back to your Mom’s cellar and take your med’s!

          • JD Mulvey

            Take my med’s what?

      • Odd Jørgensen

        And what will you say when they come away from that with butkus again?

      • Serai 1

        Aw, you’re so cute. I wish I had a camera right now.

        • SamyyCiao

          No you can not use the men’s bathroom!

          • Serai 1

            AHAHAHAHAAA. Yep, I was right. You actually are five years old.

          • SamyyCiao

            POOP on you loser and stay out of the men’s or women’s bathroom stinky!

  • Joshua Norton

    The investigation is still ongoing, but so far investigators haven’t found evidence to prove that Clinton willfully violated the law the U.S. officials say.
    .

    • SamyyCiao

      Liar Liar pants on fire!

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Why are you telling us what we already know about you, Samyy?

        • SamyyCiao

          Burp!

      • yyyaz

        My dick is longer than a telephone wire.

        • SamyyCiao

          Doubt it – your wife running around with the pool boy!

      • jmk
      • thenearesthippie

        Upvoting yourself is like masturbating in public.

        • Gleem-McShinez

          “I think he thinks that is a bad thing! HAHA UUuunnnggh”

          -Samyy

          • thenearesthippie

            Eeewww.

        • theCryptofishist

          We could have compassion for him, it’s obviously the only sex life he’s ever had…

        • SamyyCiao

          Hey dummy it is set up automatic and I am sure you never go out in public with a belly like yours and zits plus kids wold threw rocks at you!

      • Serai 1

        Dude, EVERYONE CAN SEE YOU UPVOTED YOURSELF.

        • SamyyCiao

          Hey dummy you can set it up to do it automatically – watch out for that drone!

          • Serai 1

            Ah, so everyone can see how stupid you are in EVERY SINGLE COMMENT?

            Wow. Okay. Do go ahead.

          • SamyyCiao

            Your pretty dumb – right!

          • Serai 1

            Says the guy who can’t spell.

  • Ed Faunce

    She did have some awesome Farmville hacks as well.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      My understanding is that she’s broken the code on Minesweeper and is making millions in tournaments.

      • countvoncount

        It’s how she’s funding her campaign.

      • bupkus23

        Wait – you mean there’s tournaments?!

  • SamyyCiao

    Joshua ls lying – you bum — no one said any such thing – they just announced they are interviewing crooked Hillary next week !

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      lol. You need a butt cushion?

      • SamyyCiao

        Must be some stupid Hillary meaning!

        • DoILookAmused2u ?

          You sound awfully butthurt.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            The butthurt jumps off the screen and scampers out the door to play in the sunshine.

          • Kavefish
          • SamyyCiao

            Your a butt man – hit the road and stay of my post!

          • DoILookAmused2u ?

            Poor, little fella. Your fever dreams are going nowhere, and you set yourself up for disappointment.

            Sucks to be you.

          • SamyyCiao

            Your bum and I am sure a druggie and live in your Mom’s basement with a fat belly and zits who beats off 10 times a day!

          • DoILookAmused2u ?

            You have strange sexual fantasies.

            Hey, but I am not judging.

        • Suse

          Your pyramid grain elevator clearly doesn’t go all the way to the top.

          • SamyyCiao

            Your to fat to ever be on top!

        • jmk

          The alternative is offering you some salve for your rampant case of butthurt.

          It’s probably related to your diaper rash.

          • SamyyCiao

            You seen to know a lot about butts – keep the F&ck away from me loser!

          • jmk

            As a parent, I learned to recognize the effect of diaper rash on the average toddler, so I was able to identify your problem really easily.

    • Suse

      Ciao, Samyy!

      • SamyyCiao

        Great hope you get lost!

    • Biff52

      Crooked Hillary? Damn, yet another Stormtrumper today!

      • SamyyCiao

        Crooked Hillary = Wall Street Goon not just Trump but Bernie also Billy Boy – are you Bill Clinton the cheating lying bum?

        • Biff52

          You caught me! I’ll try harder next time.

    • crabbychic

      HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

      • SamyyCiao

        Take you med’s – please!

    • Enfant Terrible

      This time they’ll finally get to the bottom of TravelGate.

  • JD Mulvey

    As a great American once said, I’m sick a hearin about yaw goddamn emails!!

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      Yeah, what happened to that guy?

    • SamyyCiao

      Sorry Obama DOJ will not be able to cover this up – it will get leaked by career FBI agents – Hillary will soon have to do everything possible to stay our of prison!

      • DoILookAmused2u ?

        What do you mean our prison?

        lol

        I know what you meant, bless your heart. I guess you have to have a dream. Yours is a stupid dream, but it’s still a dream.

      • JD Mulvey

        Those career FBI agents better watch their backs. The conspiracy never forgets.

      • Suse

        Your foil chapeau needs some adjusting, Cupcake.

        • Kavefish

          It’s wrapped so tight he’s sweating bauxite.

          • theCryptofishist

            brilliant

        • SamyyCiao

          Get back on you med’s and stay off my post strange duck!

        • SamyyCiao

          Adjusted to tune you out – Babe!

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        Say Samyy! It got leaked by career FBI…Got leaked that there is nothing.
        NOTHING.
        Amazing!

        • theCryptofishist

          (Seriously, I think that leaking something could end your FBI career in a hurry. So, ready to retire, or ready to go into a plush pre=arranged private sector job, or possessed by the vengeful ghost of JEH? You choose.)

        • SamyyCiao

          Not yet

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Since I am sure you are a fine law and order seeking American, and based on how you write prose probably a lawyer, you are surely going to respect the property rights of the company that owns the registered trademark you use to present yourself on the internet and cease and desist from that infringing conduct.

      • jmk

        Why would the DOJ want to cover up that there’s nothing to this bullshit?

        • SamyyCiao

          Yea right and Hillary did not treat all of Bills women horribly !

          • jmk

            You’re commenting (or would be, if commenting was allowed) on an article that explains that investigators haven’t found a single shred of evidence that says that Hillary broke the law….and your idiotic contribution is some kind of claim that the DOJ would want to cover that up? And your reason for claiming the DOJ would want to cover up Hillary’s not-doing-anything-wrongness is because she wasn’t nice to women you claim her husband cheated on her with?

            Samyy, Samyy, cupcake… your inability to logic says to me that you don’t have the slightest clue how to brain.

            Ciao, cupcake.

      • thenearesthippie

        Meh. She’ll just Scalia everybody.

      • Odd Jørgensen

        Just a matter of time before she starts murdering people to death again, to cover her trail right? Right? HUH??!?!!!!??

        • SamyyCiao

          Career Crook and Wall Street goon!

      • Enfant Terrible

        Bodies piled up everywhere!

      • Kavefish

        Are you auditioning for the position of Cartoon Cardboard Cutout of the Month, or just nursing a bad case of hemorrhoids?

        • SamyyCiao

          Yikes a true nut case – go back to your Mom’s basement and take your med’s or meth whatever – got do something about that belly & zits!

          • Kavefish

            So, I’m guessing it’s the hemorrhoids, then.

            Tough break!

        • SamyyCiao

          Your an odd duck!

  • MikelAZ

    HA Goodman needs a monitor on him. His Hillary hate is downright weird. Part of me wants to laugh and the other half freaks me out.

  • natoslug

    Hillary Clinton stole my yoghurt from the fridge last week. I demand a hearing, dammit!

    • JD Mulvey

      She’ll HAVE to drop out now.

    • Rick Hill

      She left the seat up in the bathroom…again! Inpeach!!11!

      • Frank Underboob

        Wait, is this related to that old lesbian accusation?

        • Rick Hill

          I’m trying to start a new meme. Michelle became a transgender that Obama married. I want to be the first to suggest that Hillary has gone the Bruce Jenner route, assept for the other way around, backwards.

          • Biff52

            SPY Magazine did it first!

  • Poly_Ester

    Evidence? Did The Enquirer need evidence to implicate Daddy Cruz in the JFK assassination? I yhink not.

    • Jared James

      And I’m sure Joe Farah has all the evidence he needs* to convict Huma Abeddin of infiltrating the gubmit for the Muslin Brotherhood.

      *he suspects everyone who isn’t as white as his skivvies is trying to infiltrate the gubmit for the Muslin Brotherhood, therefore it must be true.

      • cynmac

        Are his skivvies truly wite? It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

        • Odd Jørgensen

          They start out white….

        • Jared James

          The other obvious option would be leopard print thong, but he is far too sexy for those.

  • Suse

    Howdy Gowdy and the Benghazi Committee

    • mary5920

      That is fabulous.

      • theCryptofishist

        It most certainly is. Suse uncovered something wonderful.

    • Zhu Bajie

      Slain in the Spirit, I’m sure.

  • Frank Underboob

    Wow. Is anyone keeping count of how many Trumpertrolls are swarming this article?

    • bupkus23

      They’re EVVVVERRYWHERRE!

    • yyyaz

      They’re being swatted from multiple directions at the speed of light. Their annoyance a mere blip on the hilarity-o-meter.

      • Jet Maier

        Except for Sally. Who is Sally Bill Clintoning?

  • Kevin Sinclair

    So Hillary’s email server caper was merely an idiotic, stupid and grossly negligent case of bad judgment, but certainly not criminal. Oh, i see now, that’s so much better.

    • yyyaz

      Good for you! Cracker?

      • cynmac

        I’d have offered him a cookie. It’s only neighborly.

        • Suse

          Or some of those cakes we like. Maybe some canned clams…

          • jmk

            Cedar cheese?

          • Suse

            Mos def!

          • Sakonyachen

            Yasiin Bey!

          • jmk

            That phrase always makes me laugh, because it reminds me of some debate or round-table event in which Christopher Hitchens insisted on referring to Mos Def as Mr. Definitely.

          • Frank Underboob

            I’m out of canned clams. Will canned, smoked oysters do?

          • Suse

            That was my dad’s favorite snack – smoked ersters on saltine crackers.

          • Frank Underboob

            It’s one of my favourite comfort foods too, dating back to my teens. But I prefer Ritz crackers, plus a dab of tartare sauce.

          • Suse

            Dad only had them on Saturdays while listening to baseball on the radio.

          • Frank Underboob

            While Internetting for me, but yeah. I think there’s something about growing up poor that gets a person into these habits.

          • cynmac

            Or growing up Southern. There is that.

          • Frank Underboob

            Isn’t it the same thing?

          • cynmac

            Actually, no. Lots of Southerners have money. Explains NASCAR, collectible plates and little girl beauty pageants. But money can’t buy Class, as we are finding out with Trump, also too.

          • Odd Jørgensen

            I love me some Ritz, with peanut butter on, nommmm. it wreaks havoc on my waistline though.

          • Candy Apple

            CEDAR CHEESE ALSO TOO!!1!

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Come Nov 9, this guy is gunna need a straight jacket.

        • yyyaz

          Maybe we can buy him a ringside seat at the bunker where the galaxy’s most-overpaid rancid Lardball will be set to go all-Mr.-Creosote when the world ends election is called the minute after the California polls close.

      • Kevin Sinclair

        I would have thought we could discuss a political topic without the resort to name calling, but I forgot how many assholes are out there!

        • yyyaz

          Your thought appears to be “merely an idiotic, stupid and grossly negligent case of bad judgment.” Cracker?

        • Wally Pipp

          Do you know what webpage your on?
          Excuse me: DO YOU KNOW WHAT WEBPAGE YOUR ON?

        • Jukesgrrl

          You just called the two Democratic candidates “the lessor [sic] of two sociopaths” and you want us to think you’re here to “discuss” something? Pardon me, I’m choking on my afternoon coffee.

          • Kevin Sinclair

            I wasn’t clear, I meant to call both Hillary and Donald sociopaths. Bernie is clearly not a sociopath, and is the candidate I support. Pardon my spelling, thank you for the correction. Enjoy your coffee!

          • cynmac

            Yeah, and I didn’t see any “name calling” either. Weak sauce.

          • Kevin Sinclair

            Isn’t “cracker” a term of contempt for a white southerner? (which I’m not, so curious).

          • Zhu Bajie

            Haven’t you noticed that psychopaths rule the world?

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      Wasn’t idiodic or stupid. Was something GOP Sec of States AND the last VP did though.
      Course, no one was worried about it then….

    • JD Mulvey

      Truly, we must demand higher standards. America really needs the party of Bush and Trump to get in there and restore integrity.

      • Kevin Sinclair

        Its a choice between the lessor of two sociopaths.

        • Odd Jørgensen

          Who is this lessor whom you are campaigning for?

      • Zhu Bajie

        We need a dozen political parties, like Israel has. We’d still be f’d up, but with a greater variety of partisan rhetoric representing a greater variety of opinion.

        • Jet Maier

          and a President who’s also the SoS and Treasury Secretary, like Bibi.

    • cat cafe

      Nice, nice, but didn’t include the word “Benghazi,” so you lose points for that.

    • crabbychic

      You’re getting there… keep trying!

  • Flashman

    I recently turned in some frequent flyer miles for a WSJ subscription. According to the WSJ op ed contributors, they are readying the tumbrels to take Hilz to the guillotine being set up on the Capitol Mall; it’s only a matter of time.

    • Jet Maier

      Morning Joe would have told you that for free.

  • Marceline

    I’ve getting sealioned on another page by some Berniac swearing up and down that this is it. The indictment is any day now. That bitch is going to jail! Etc… No snark, after years of seeing these fake scandals tossed at Obama for eight years, seeing people on the left swallow this bullshit and ask for another helping has been mind-blowing.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      I am under the impression that most of these internet so called Berniacs are anything but. Look for key phrases like they would sooner vote for Trump- the one candidate in this stupid thing that is a 100% polar opposite of Bernie sanders.

      • Marceline

        No I “know” some of these people. I’ve been posting with some of them for years. I had one person who I’ve been posting with since Obama’s 2012 campaign call me a paid shill for Hillary. Everything and everyone is now filtered through the Bernie lens. It’s like watching friends and relatives get on a plane to Jonestown.

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          Goddamn it. You coulda left me my illusions you know.
          Though I agree it is disheartening and they should know better.

        • jmk

          I’ve been called a paid shill for Hillary also too (funny how that phrase keeps cropping up) as well as a corporate shill, a sheeple in the tank for Wall Street (that one made me laugh), a misandrist (apparently, hatred for men motivates my support for Clinton), a Hillbot (by someone who knows I’m a real girl) and a host of other names by people who know me, have known me for some time, and should fucking know better.

          • cat cafe

            I am constantly called a paid shill, a Hillbot, a sheeple, a fan of warmongering, and yelled at in all caps, also by people who know me, always men. The misogyny out there is really shitty.

          • jmk

            The last twit of this kind I dealt with thinks he’s the Boss of Feminism, and told me I’m a misandrist because I called his statement that a “true” feminist would have left Bill “mansplaining.” Apparently, if you EVER use that term, you hate men and you’re the real racist.

          • JMP

            And yet the only people who use the non-word “misandrist” are misogynists who use it as an attack on feminists. That’s not a true feminist at all, but the opposite.

          • Serai 1

            Ah yes, No True Scotsman. Their arguments are so sophomoric.

          • Serai 1

            It drips off them. I see absolutely no difference between them and the rabid Trump fucknuts. They’re just as reprehensible. Both groups use their ideologies to justify hatred and bigotry.

          • MausFeet

            I’m depressed it’s not just me, but also too glad it’s not just me.
            Yeah, this is coming from people I know really well and spent both nights of Obama winning getting drunk with in celebration. And I AM a Bernie supporter, but also a realist, and if I even suggest to deal, and vote for Hillary, shouting ensues. I feel like I’m taking crazy pills.

          • Pamelamheard1

            “my room mate Lori Is getting paid on the internet 98$/hr”…..!cc1028etwo days ago grey MacLaren P1 I bought after earning 18,512 DoIIars..it was my previous month’s payout..just a little over.17k DoIIars Last month..3-5 hours job a day…with weekly payouts..it’s realy the simplest. job I have ever Do.. I Joined This 7 months. ago. and now making over. hourly 87 DoIIars…Learn. More right Here !cc1028e:➽:➽:➽➽➽➽ http://GlobalSuperJobsReportsEmploymentsLineGetPayHourly$98…. .❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦::::::!cc1028e….,….

          • jmk

            Just bear in mind that at some point, the crazy will subside. That’s what I cling to.

            It is a bit scary to see people you know going off the deep end, though. It’s hard to see them the same way after that.

          • SamyyCiao

            Must get musty in that basement you live in !

          • jmk

            No, no, Samyy… just because you live in a basement doesn’t mean that everybody does.

            Just FYI, but in addition to being factually incorrect, you’re not good at snark, and your comment, which is not allowed, was lame also too.

            Ciao, cupcake.

          • SamyyCiao

            Poop on you loser – no you can not come over to my house – no bums allowed – what f&&*ing rules are you talking about – Obama mandates?

          • jmk

            Oh, Samyy, Samyy… do you never get tired of looking like A Idiot…and not just a regular A Idiot, but an entirely deranged one?

            I do think you should sharpen up on your reading comprehension skills, cupcake, because I never once indicated that I would want to visit your basement, which, I suspect, even “bums” would avoid because of the danger of lung damage from all the Cheeto dust and fart smells.

            And comments are not allowed on this website.

            Ciao, Samyy, you poor, sad, deranged ignoramus.

          • Apple Scruff

            I just keep getting called “old”.

          • JD Mulvey

            Bernie’s okay, but I’m waiting for Max Frost.

          • Serai 1

            Yep. Makes me laugh like crazy. These fucking children have no IDEA what a revolution entails.

          • Apple Scruff

            On Samantha Bee’s show, they aired a clip of a NYC college boy screaming “Bernie or Bust! Revolution!” and she responded, “I’d like to drop that kid off in Damascus and see him shit his pants at the sight of a real revolution.”

          • BWilliamson

            Being called a paid shill is inevitable if you raise any fact not consistent with the Bernie mythology. It stands in place of addressing or refuting the offered fact.

          • Sakonyachen

            Never really understood why other Bernie supporters didn’t go with the truth. The myth is so much more lackluster than the reality. An overnight utopia would be a fucking disaster. Probably the most believable part it the Matrix story.

          • Candy Apple

            Ha! I’ve been called a paid Hillary shill, too, and I was like, “Are you fucking kidding?! I will talk shit about Donald Trump for FREE!”

          • cleos_mom

            I keep asking accusers of that sort where do I sign up — hey, being paid to promote a candidate I already like; where’s the down side?

            They’ve been oddly silent.

          • Sakonyachen

            Pretty sure everyone but his supporters will tak shit about him for free

          • Serai 1

            “And I haven’t seen a goddamn check yet, asshole!”

          • SamyyCiao

            To bad f**k nut!

          • SamyyCiao

            No one cares!

        • BWilliamson

          Grim image. We have several people close to us who seem more wistful than cultish. They certainly have not bought their plane tickets yet. Looking for the morning after.

        • Serai 1

          I’ve been really dismayed at the creepying Broism over at Crooks and Liars. That used to be a good site, but it’s a Bro-choked clickbait swamp these days. And some of the commenters have lost their damn minds, just as you say. One guy tried to tell me it was “Hillary’s actions” that started the Iraq War. They’re unhinged.

      • JD Mulvey

        If they use the phrase “Democrat Party” it’s a sure giveaway.

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          Had a trooper in here pretending to be a Bernite the other day, so much so that a couple local Bernie Bros got mad when we fucked with him.
          Until we pointed to his posts about the dirty poorz ane messicans taking his money and gold being the best standard. Then they were oddly silent.

          • cynmac

            Yeah, that was Tuesday night before Cruz Quit. Very weird that he left soon after that announcement when we really started celebrating and speculating. Good times. Good times.

        • BWilliamson

          Indeed, standard usage among right wingers.

        • Serai 1

          “Common sense” is another tell, I’ve found.

      • greyXstar

        There’s a whole lot of that, but when you look at social media stuff…I don’t know. It’s hundreds and hundreds of people insisting that they won’t vote for Hillz because of the emails or Wall Street donations. Saying that Bernie should run as an independent because the numbers are all faked and the superdelegates are the ONLY way Hillary will win.

        Some of them are trolls no doubt, but I can’t believe that many Trump supporters are clever enough for that.

        • Jenny

          Yeah not Trump supporters at all. Libertarians maybe but not Trumpets.

          • greyXstar

            Yeah funny how ‘Bernie Bros’ would also be all about the gold standard and isolationism. Libertarians are weird.

          • Jenny

            They’re Reddit’s base. Reddit loves Bernie.

          • Frank Underboob

            Exactly. Bernie supporters are pretty much the exact opposite of Libertardians.

      • JMP

        Indeed, the claims that there is actually a scandal with the emails is pretty much a dead giveaway that the claimed Sanders supporter is faking it. Only people who get their “news” from Fox actually believe that crap.

        • MissNomer

          Not so. There are real bona fide liberal Democrats who are hoping for an indictment and expecting it any day now. They do not watch Fox.

          • Lamashtar

            But they get their trusted information secondhand from it.

      • Ruka Health Fitness

        Unfortunately, I know some of these Berniacs personally and they really are for Bernie, and also really sound like Trump’s mindless devotees. They are exhausting.

    • Sakonyachen

      There are people on every part of the political spectrum that will believe anything, so long as it fits their narrative. And if it doesn’t fit, they will beat, shave, drill, saw and hatefuck it until it does. Not sure where these Berniebro CTers come from though. I like Bernie because I’m so far left fiscally that I make Karl Marx look like a member of the Birch Society. I have no idea what these sludgeslurpers like about him.

      • Frank Underboob

        Most of the ones I’ve seen are Trumptrolls getting a twofer by slagging off Clinton in all the usual ways & stirring up her supporters against Sanders.

      • Serai 1

        What they like about him is he’s running against Hillary. Their only real goal is Making Sure The Bitch Doesn’t Win. That’s why they so easily jump to Trump – the politics isn’t the point. Killing the woman’s chances is.

      • chimichanga

        Finally got around to reading this article. Thank you for the term hatefuck as a tool. I’m still laughing and look fwd to using it in conversation soon!

    • JMP

      Not to mention the eight previous years of tossing fake scandals at the Clintons, all of which turned out to be complete bullshit except for the blowjob.

      • Lamashtar

        I just found out about some woman who accused Bill Clinton of rape 20 years ago. She backed off when Bill’s harem came out, but they tried subpeonaing her. Had Ken Star used this as his target, instead of a consensual extra-marital affair, he might’ve had a point to his histrionics.

        I’m not sure about Bill, but I fail to see how any of Bill’s sex life should be blamed on Hillary.

    • Snopes Shop

      What’s “getting sealioned” mean?? I’m always excited to learn a cool new term.

      • Marceline
        • Snopes Shop

          LOL thank you

        • Serai 1

          I know that tactic as JAQing off (for Just Asking Questions). It’s like dealing with a four-year-old that wants to know why we can’t go to Disneyland NOW.

          • Sakonyachen

            “It’s like dealing with a four-year- old that wants to know why we can’t go to Disneyland NOW.”

            Probably the best description of that behavior. They aren’t interested in any answers that aren’t what they want to hear. They are almost as fun as the people who take your comment and try to shoehorn it into their pet issue.

            Sounds like a great forum for discussion of whatever it was about.

          • Serai 1

            It wasn’t a huge readership – I think there were less than a hundred people on there at one time or another. But I was on that thing like a hawk. We had trolls try to get in every now and then, and pretty much every time, the posters never even saw them, as I had comment moderation on after one particularly vicious troll made things miserable. That’s really the only way to make sure trolls don’t invade – you have to cut them off before they ever get seen at all.

          • Sakonyachen

            Sounds like a great way to do it if you can manage all the traffic. I’ve only seen business and “media” sites do that.

          • Serai 1

            It should have been standard practice for all sites from the beginning. It’s incredible to me how many site owners just let their place get infected with lunatics. What the hell? If somebody came to my house, pissed on my rug, screamed at my guests and then started trashing the place, I would not spout nonsense about his “rights”. I’d kick him THE FUCK OUT. And so would any sane person.

          • Sakonyachen

            I find it hilarious that the standard is to let comments through and filter them later. I can’t imagine the staff that a large site would require to read every comment for authenticity, but I get the impression that people think you start a website, add content occasionally and then the money rolls in and you buy your island paradise.

          • Serai 1

            Had beforehand moderation been standard from the beginning, it would be a lot less work now because we’d have figured out how to make it work easily as we went along. But no – as in all other things pertaining to the internet, we jumped to what LOOKED like the easiest way to do things, and now we’re trying to figure out how to unsnarl the mess. It’s like nobody involved in this entire gigantic enterprise ever thinks more than a month (and a few billion dollars) in advance. (Plus, there seem to be precious few people in the industry who actually take human nature into account when designing anything, from the toys to the websites to the services.)

          • Sakonyachen

            I get where the earlier sites didn’t realize that an anonymous soapbox was going to be a magnet for ass hats. But now there is precedence. Then again the asshats have precedence for being asshats and calling it the first amendment. Glad I lift boxes for a living. They are so much more reliable than people.

    • Serai 1

      It’s exposed the sexism that is latent in “progressive” politics. Those boys talk a good game about equality, but when it looks like a woman’s going to take the reins, they start throwing tantrums. They scratch and dig for the slightest bit of crap they can blow up into some OMG SCANDAL. Thus belying their supposed difference from the wingnuts – when it comes to the Specter Of Mommy, there’s no difference at all.

      • Marceline

        It’s not just the sexism. Bernie’s campaign is filled with a kind of soft tone-deaf racism that his minions manage to turn into overt racism.

        If one more of these idiots tells me Bernie marched with MLK I’ll punch them in the throat. He also wanted someone to primary Obama back in 2012.

        • Serai 1

          True. Ugh. I can’t even.

      • cleos_mom

        “Mommy’s stealing the election!”

  • JD Mulvey

    Okay, what everyone’s really wondering is where Kaili Joy Gray went, and if she’s no longer at Wonkette, who will ridicule David Brooks for us?

    http://www.nytimes.com/2016/05/06/opinion/clintons-imagination-problem.html

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      Brooks smacks at Hillz for lacking imagination.
      The irony, it is suffocating!

      • JD Mulvey

        She’s clearly too unimaginative to:
        – build a huge gold-plated wall from Texas to California,
        – put Ted Nugent on the Supreme Court,
        – found a fabulous new university
        – pal around with Vlad Putin.

        These are the things David Brooks demands from a President.

    • Gleem-McShinez

      Not that it helps answer where Kaili is, but there is always driftglass, if you need a great Brooks ridiculin’.

      http://driftglass.blogspot.com/

    • Zhu Bajie

      Got a real job?

    • snark-lurker

      She did vanish rather suddenly & without a peep (that snurker) ever heard. Once upon a time, Snipy…oh better shuddup before we get disappeared too.
      BTW Secret Attack Squirrel’s Global headQuarters (aka SAS-GQ) is located in that tree just outside my window & there’s a lot of chattering coming from there right now oh wait, there’s the trouble: Blackjack Brisco is on the prowl.

      • snark-lurker

        Also 2 it is worrisome that the wonk chat cave has had no comment along these lines.

        And after 5 hours.

  • Suse

    Howdy Gowdy isn’t to blame for not wrapping this thing up. No siree! http://www.politico.com/story/2016/05/trey-gowdy-benghazi-probe-222867

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      Next he will tell us this was not all a gigantic political stunt from day one.

      • Suse

        I hear banjos every time I gaze upon his countenance.

        • mary5920

          He’s an ugly version of Martin Short’s Ed Grimley.

          • Suse

            Haha! Wonder if he’s a Pat Sajak fan? Probably, as he’s one of Hollywood’s RWNJs.

          • Squirrel_t_robot

            Pat had a short lived late night talk show, and one of his first guests was Rush Limbaugh.

            Oddly enough, he was also pretty much Sajak’s last guest.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            When your first guest is a guy who has a face made for radio, well, things can go downhill pretty fast.

          • theCryptofishist

            Another of Rush’s kisses of death…

    • Bitter Scribe

      “MAAAA!!!! Billy won’t stand still so I can hit him!!!”

  • Squirrel_t_robot

    The larger point all the wingers miss:

    The server is of no significance; any classified information outside the proper channels is considered mishandled.

    Add to it: the entire case hinges on intent, not what is classified after the fact.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      So you’re saying she’s guilty then? I KNEW it!!!!!

  • Peter Walford

    “Where there’s smoke, it’s usually leaking out of the empty rectum holes of dead-ender losers who are just pretty sure Hillary did all the bad things, but they can never actually find her doing the bad things, but anyway, that is where that fart-flavored smoke is coming from.”

    Now that’s “what I call” an adage :)

    • feministing

      bear with, bear with

  • rbrown

    You obviously forgot the Roswell incident and cover up she enginered

    • therblig

      after she killed the alien adoption lawyer, what choice did she have?

  • jviscont1

    No mention of Hillz dancing on a NJ rooftop after 9/11 leading a Somali drum circle?

    • Suse

      Not yet, but I’m sure there are damning photos somewhere out there. Howdy just needs more time.

      • dxyseilc

        I hear Alex Jones has video of Hillary personally flying both planes into the World Trade Center.

        • Suse

          I knew it!

    • Candy Apple

      She was too busy sexxing with Huma.

  • katahdin

    Help us Obi Wan Gowdy. You’re our only hope.

  • Odd Jørgensen

    “Where there’s smoke” there`s sometimes some idiot with matches trying to burn it all down.

    • Tansy Geek

      That would be Darryl Issa, but he’s got a different committee to waste time & money on now.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        I remember in 2010 when Rethugs were crowing about how Issa was going to get to the bottom of all this with subpoenas and shit, and here we are six years later and nada, zilch, bupkis.

  • Candy Apple

    I love that picture of Hillary so, so much.

    • Paperless Tiger

      They went to eleven to try to wear her down, but it wasn’t enough.

    • Patti

      Me too. She was amazing that day. She turned them inside out and then yawned about it and flicked lint off her shoulder. Amazing woman.

      • JMP

        That performance was what originally pushed me to support Clinton over Sanders. Then Sanders’ insufferable supporters finished the job.

        • BWilliamson

          For a time I didn’t mind commenting among the cult; it was sort of fun being called a paid shill, or a 1 per center for awhile. But the thrill is gone.

          • Serai 1

            Yeah, they’re turning desperate. Things get nasty. Not worth it.

        • Serai 1

          That’s what happened to me, too. Shit just got too ugly on that side way too fast. No, thank you.

        • HazooToo

          Sanders is massively popular on Imgur. Unfortunately, a big portion of Imgur is full of loud assholes with connections to Reddit and 4chan. Pretty sure that’s where the bulk of the nasty shit came from, but I wish the more reasonable supporters had stayed and tried being louder than the assholes. Bernie doesn’t deserve the shit-aura that negative supporters attached to him.

    • Mimihaha

      Me too.

    • Serai 1

      “Oh. You again. Joy.”

      She is the Queen of Silent Snark.

  • Zhu Bajie

    Given how many war crimes and crimes against humanity US administrations have committed since 1950, and how no one has been punished save a few low level infantrymen, why would anyone expect Mrs Clinton to be punished for some ignorance and carelessness about e-mails?

    • Sakonyachen

      This is definitely one of those situations where I actually believe it is because she is a she. How dare she not be submissive in her role as FUCKING SECRETARY OF STATE!!!!!
      Why can’t she accept that she is just a secretary?!

      Pigs!

  • brittany

    Where there’s smoke, there’s a Clinton not inhaling…

  • Candy Apple

    Keep trying, Gowdy! Maybe you’ll find enough evidence that Goody Clinton gave the Evil Eye to Betsy the cow and burn her as a witch!

    • Sakonyachen

      Or just burn her as a witch without the evidence, as the story usually went.

      • Serai 1

        He just needs some big scales and a duck.

    • Tansy Geek

      But Betsy’s milk did go sour after Hilz flew over on her broom.

  • Blerg

    Come now, Papa Bear Bill O’Reilly has repeatedly “reported” that the FBI will be arresting Hitlery any day now. And we know the spin stops there, and he’s definitely looking out for us.

  • Sally Johnson

    What concerns me is that almost all of the people commenting on both sides of this don’t know shit about classified materials. Intent is one issue, being stupid with classified material can get you in trouble, and trying to avoid FOIA is still another problem.

    The woman who correctly warned us about the vast right wing conspiracy gives said vast right wing conspiracy the most juicy material possible. “I made a mistake,” she said. Uh, no. She stepped on one of several hundred rakes she carefully placed in her front yard. This was an own goal for Team Clinton.

    • Tansy Geek

      Shouldn’t you be selling beauty products wholesale or something? Or is it just that super hard nail polish?

      • Sally Johnson

        What time does your shift end at Correct the Record?

        • kareemachan

          What time does your shift end at 7-11?

          • Sally Johnson

            When do you get off your knees behind the 7-11?

    • SophieCT

      Speaking of not knowing shit…
      The very paragraph in the State Dept Rule Book that describes the rule she didn’t break also says that everything not covered in said document is left to the discretion of the department head. Guess who was head of State Dept when Hillary was head of State Dept? I’ll give you some time to go Google it.

      • Sally Johnson

        She can’t override the NSA on security. This isn’t going to turn out like you think it is. You don’t know shit about classified materials, how to handle them, store them, anything about them. This is crystal clear from your comments. Mrs. Clinton has already stated she made a mistake. This means she did it wrong. The only question now is whether it was criminal. You don’t know that answer. Nobody does. The FBI doesn’t even know yet.

      • Serai 1

        Don’t bother. This idiot just wants to bloviate. I mean, keep poking her if you think it’s fun, but don’t expect to get anywhere.

    • kareemachan

      So what do you think about the Trumpette and his advisor who worked closely with Putin getting CIA updates?

      And…. “this was an own goal”? What the hell does that even mean?

      • Sally Johnson

        You don’t know much about golf, do you?

        • MissNomer

          You say that like it’s a bad thing. I’m proud that I know very little about golf, and so are most non-golfers. Find another analogy, or maybe you don’t know much about words?

          • Sally Johnson

            The Big Lebowski. Go watch it. Get the reference.

          • mancityfooty .

            “Obviously you’re not a golfer…”
            There’s the quote you want.
            And golf doesn’t have an “own goal”.

          • Sally Johnson

            Anybody who didn’t get the own goal reference pretty much deserved to get sent on a Big Lebowski detour.

    • thenearesthippie

      Concern troll is concerned.

      • Sally Johnson

        Trying to have a serious conversation here. Go over to the kiddies table with that shit.

        • thenearesthippie

          Seems more like you’re trying to avoid having a serious conversation, given your unwillingness to back up what you say and your reliance on insults.

        • Serai 1

          Funny, I see you slinging rightwing conspiracy theories around. Not very serious, Sparky.

      • Serai 1

        Very concerned! GIVE THE GOVERNOR A HARRUMPH!!!

    • Serai 1

      * eyeroll *

      Well, thanks for letting us know you consider the stupid bottom-feeding scandals the RWNJ’s cook up are worthy of your attention.

      Bros – just Trumpers in stupid hipster hats.

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  • At the corner, turn left

    Silly Hillary. She should have known to have her clairvoyance turned on when using her emails. Else she would have known that some would be made retroactively Super Duper Ultra Hey-Don’t-You-Dare-Look-At-This-I’m-Not-Kidding Secret. No brainer, right? Oh, and…

    Colin Powell and Condoleeza Rice got classified email on private accounts. Outraged Republicans – 0
    Hillary Clinton had emails made secret after the fact. Outraged Republicans – AOTK

    Do we see a pattern here?

    • Sally Johnson

      The policy changed as a result of reviews of security. As the threat changed, so does the response. This was told to Mrs. Clinton by NSA when she pointed out that Powell and Rice had the equipment she desired. So, instead of going along with what NSA told her she had to do in light of current threats, she installed a private server instead.

      • HazooToo

        When did anyone find out about the private server? Was it set up with equivalent protections to the one they told her to use? Was it ever actually breached? Those questions seem to be the most important ones to ask about this issue. If it was secure, and was never breached, then it’s closer to ‘successfully driving without a seatbelt’ than treason, at least that’s what I think.

        • Sally Johnson

          “It was a mistake,” Clinton said. All that remains now is for the FBI to determine if it was a criminal mistake. Some of us don’t want to know. LOL

          • HazooToo

            Okay, but… still questions. Those ones. If she accidentally used her home server instead of the govt. server, fine. Was it protected, and was there ever actually a breach? If yes to the first question and no to the second, then I don’t really see why this thing is such an enormous deal in the first place.

          • Sally Johnson

            There are those who suspect she used the private server to get out of FOIA requests, another serious problem, if true. She knows people are out to get her (I have no doubt of this), so she gives them several trails of bread crumbs leading to her house. I don’t get that. You and I would be very careful in her situation. I would go so far as to have a full-time aide to follow me around likr Jiminy Cricket. LOL.

          • thenearesthippie

            “There are those who suspect. . . .” Well, I’m convinced.

          • Sally Johnson

            Nothing will convince those too lazy to go find out for themselves.

          • thenearesthippie

            I said I get it. You’ve got nothing.

          • Sally Johnson

            No, I’ve got research skills because a teacher a long time ago showed me how to go find things out for myself. Sad that never happened for you.

            http://www.cbsnews.com/news/emails-show-nsa-rejected-hillary-clinton-request-for-secure-smartphone/

          • Jet Maier

            Spam.

          • Sally Johnson

            Wishing doesn’t make it so. Wishing away Mrs. Clinton’s mistake doesn’t make that happen, either.

          • Sally Johnson

            Link?

          • Jet Maier
          • Sally Johnson

            On vacation?

          • Sally Johnson

            I made a point in conversation and links were demanded. I replied that people could find the information themselves, especially since hostile people weren’t likely to believe me in the first place. After a period of time, I provided the links to all those who had engaged in the argument. My point was proved as no minds were changed. That’s not spamming. Now, fuck off.

          • Daisy

            Don’t worry about it, the person may have “research skills”, but has obviously never taken any basic debate course, where you actually have to site a source for every claim you make. The person also doesn’t seem to realize that for a research paper, you ALSO cite your sources. You don’t tell the teacher to go look it up themselves.

          • HazooToo

            Yeah, I don’t get it either. But if it was secure and never breached, then our “classified when it was convenient” material was safe, and if we can at least agree that the woman isn’t a psychotic sociopath, then she wasn’t plotting murders and terrorist attacks behind her private server. Unfortunately, that’s exactly what some Americans think about her, which seems like the only reason this is currently even being made a big deal.

          • ltmcdies

            well Edward Snowden never got in there so…there’s that.

          • Coquettish

            Here’s some context:

            First, you need to understand just how shitty DoS servers were during this time. They were actually massively hacked by China, one of the biggest on record if I remember correctly, and other department servers were and would continue to be hacked. They were also horribly antiquated, and there was next to no budget for updating them, tech support, stuff that you might consider vital for, you know, running the diplomatic branch of the government. If you got locked out because your Blackberry had a stroke or couldn’t access the servers remotely, you were screwed, and considering this is a job that requires tons of movement and constant communication? Not great.

            The sad fact is that private servers were more secure and faster. It also wasn’t illegal to use them while she was in office. Rice and Powell both used private emails to receive classified information, albeit to a lesser degree. The servers were discovered because Guccifer (Romanian hacker currently being prosecuted by the FBI) hacked several government email accounts and dumped the contents on the web, and one of those accounts had messages from the private email. At the moment there’s no evidence to show that her server was compromised. Guccifer claims he managed it, but he’s provided nothing to substantiate those claims, and nothing in his info dumps suggests it.

            If you feel like it’s not an enormous deal, you’re not alone. More people care about Benghazi than this.

          • HazooToo

            THANK YOU. Dear God, so her server was actually better than the crap they were using at the time and they’re crying over this?! What the hell?! Okay, so email bidness = stupid non-issue. Thank you.

          • Coquettish

            It’s an issue if you worry about whether government officials should be allowed to use private servers or if you’re worried that she may have been avoiding FOIA requests, but since she left office, they’ve legislated against that, and honestly, look at what her position was. You really have to believe Clinton was up to No Good during her time as Sec of State and obviously hiding something in order to get truly outraged. If the FBI doesn’t find evidence that any laws were broken or that the server was compromised (so far nothing) then you’re reduced to being angry that she wasn’t using…the State servers that were massively compromised.

          • HazooToo

            Didn’t she, at one point, show the investigators the emails sent on that server? Honestly, I’m impressed that she’s done so well on her campaign while defending herself against constant investigations. Not just accusations, but people actively digging around trying to put her in jail.

          • Coquettish

            As far as I know, they have access to it, and they have access to her emails during her time working for the DoS. That’s what the FBI and the RNC have been asking for and then going through. The problem arises when they find nothing because then the question becomes “What if they deleted everything and destroyed the evidence?” or “What if the server was hacked so well there’s no evidence of it because it was done by a great hacker?” There are endless options for conspiracy theorists, much like with Benghazi. There’s a reason why her campaign has such high unfavorables. People have been trying to pull this shit for years.

          • HazooToo

            Well, if she deleted it or some mystery hacker deleted it, either way, there’s nothing there, but they’re just being whiny crybabies because they don’t like her specifically. Thank you again and again for making this perfectly clear for me.

          • Jet Maier

            Slight correction. Guccifer hacked Sidney Blumenthal’s email. He says he hacked Clinton’s server but his description of it is wrong and he’s been unable to produce anything he found there (as he always has with other servers). There’s no indication it was ever hacked by anyone.

      • kareemachan

        Oh, so that MEANS she’s guilty as fuck?

        Right, Sal.

        • Sally Johnson

          Your reading comprehension skills are lacking. The NSA told Clinton she could not have a secure Blackberry device like the President had because of the cost. So, she did want she wanted to do anyway, like any other spoiled brat. I said nothing about guilt or innocence.

          • Jet Maier

            They didn’t tell her that. State told CBS that:
            “”We began examining options for (Secretary Clinton) with respect to
            secure ‘BlackBerry-like’ communications,” wrote Donald R. Reid, the
            department’s assistant director for security infrastructure. “The
            current state of the art is not too user friendly, has no infrastructure
            at State, and is very expensive.””
            There isn’t a word about what they told Clinton.

          • Sally Johnson

            As predicted, providing a link did not good. The true believers are never satisfied.

          • Lamashtar

            The article cites conflicting statements and government clustering. It is evidence of the lack of clear policy if anything.

          • Jet Maier

            I was quoting your link. Verbatim.

        • Sally Johnson

          Nope. It means it’s been reported. It was in the emails released by the State Department. Somebody at CBS who could read and had some basic research skills did all the work for you. Now, you go read: http://www.cbsnews.com/news/emails-show-nsa-rejected-hillary-clinton-request-for-secure-smartphone/

          And then go color.

      • dcwomenkickingass

        LINK?

        • Sally Johnson

          Google? Ever heard of it?

          But while we’re on the subject of link, check out this one: http://www.upi.com/Top_News/US/2016/05/06/Clinton-targeting-former-Jeb-Bush-donors-on-Wall-Street/3811462559579/

          • dcwomenkickingass

            You took the time to make a pathetically snarky remark AND link another piece which has nothing to do with your assertion. So where’s your link backing up your comment?

          • Sally Johnson

            Go find it yourself. I’m not here to be your reference librarian. The NSA briefed Clinton on security. She asked for a secure Blackberry because she got “hooked” on one during the campaign against Obama. The NSA told her she couldn’t have one because of the cost and security concerns. She complained that previous SoS had them and was told that the threat environment had changed and it wasn’t possible to do that anymore.

            Now if that’s not enough to help you find it, uninstall everything on your computer and play solitaire from now on.

          • dcwomenkickingass

            LOL so you have nothing. You actually wrote up a description of it but can’t find a link to back up your “version” of what happened.

          • Sally Johnson

            NSA BRIEFS CLINTON. GO FETCH.

          • dcwomenkickingass

            And again you can provide no link that parrots exactly the goal line moving statements you have made. Typical.

          • Sally Johnson

            Trolling becomes you.

          • Jet Maier

            They told her her BB wasn’t secure. You apparently aren’t aware that the NSA told State to start using Gmail accounts, since States network had been hacked. *Gmail* was thought to be more secure that State. Using her BB for non-classified personal email and her calendar was perfectly acceptable. The home server, which didn’t contain then classified material, was an excellent idea. It wasn’t hacked, STATE WAS. Nobody care what your 2 month old article says.

          • Christopher Smith

            GO FETCH SOME PROOF. GOOD little BITCH.

          • Sally Johnson

            It’s not my version of anything. It’s what was reported. If you didn’t already know this you’re certainly not paying attention. It’s been everywhere. http://www.cbsnews.com/news/emails-show-nsa-rejected-hillary-clinton-request-for-secure-smartphone/

          • Jet Maier

            This has officially become spam (posting the same thing many times). Stop it.

          • Sally Johnson

            Nope. Just giving all the lazy school children what they asked for. And you’re not the God of Spam anyway. Next time, don’t demand links when you really don’t want to know the answer.

          • Jet Maier

            One link. Not the same link a dozen times. I am the Goddess of Usenet Spam, which is good enough for a nobody like you.

          • Sally Johnson

            More like the bitch.

          • Jet Maier

            That, too. I win.

          • Sally Johnson

            Your parents must be so proud!

          • thenearesthippie

            You make the assertion, you provide the link.

          • Sally Johnson

            You get off your lazy ass and do it yourself. You would have had it by now. By your other insipid responses it is clear that your link request is merely low grade trolling.

          • thenearesthippie

            I get it. You’ve got nothing.

          • Sally Johnson
          • Catsailor

            Extrordinary claims require extrordinary proof. That principal has governed chat boards for many years. You tried to slip something under the door, and are now blaiming yer farts on the dog. Sad, really.

          • Sally Johnson
          • Jet Maier

            That doesn’t say what you think it says.

          • Lamashtar

            This is odd tho. “the specific reasons Clinton’s requests were rebuffed are being kept secret by the State Department”

          • Catsailor

            So why did Obama have secure blakberries for eight years and allow state dept to have them? He is the boss, Sally, not the NSA.

          • Sally Johnson

            Because he is the boss. Answered your own question. The NSA told her no but couldn’t do so with him, apparently.

          • Coquettish

            That doesn’t make such sense considering they advised other agencies to use them, including State officials.

          • rachelmap

            “Go find it yourself.”
            Fail.

          • Sally Johnson

            No. It’s good advice to every student who needs to learn how to learn. http://www.cbsnews.com/news/emails-show-nsa-rejected-hillary-clinton-request-for-secure-smartphone/

          • Daisy

            Yes, it’s a good idea for students. That isn’t what this is. It is a debate, and burden of proof goes on the person making the assertion. Not anyone else. In every case I wrote, I had to have a source. If my opponent asked for it and I didn’t have it, I automatically lost the round. So when people ask what the fuck you’re talking about, provide the proof without whining.

          • Coquettish

            This is an example of why the NSA gets such shit. To put the NSA’s suggestion in context, during this time Blackberry use was on the rise and somehow the suggested phone for every other government agency. Spending on Blackberry phones actually increased after this exchange and peaked in ’11 before finally starting to drop off. The reason why Clinton requested it wasn’t just because of personal preference — POTUS and the actual Department of State, the one she was leading, used Blackberries, and at the time these phones had specific apps and messaging. Telling the Sec of State to do one thing while telling the President and the actual department she’s supposed to be leading to do another is just nonsense. Source: https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/technology/blackberrys-hope-lies-in-slow-poke-federal-washington/2013/09/25/61b304ee-2610-11e3-b3e9-d97fb087acd6_story.html

            Fun fact: Cellphones are not allowed inside areas where classified or top secret materials will be held, not even in consulates. You have to leave your phone in a secure spot outside that area.

          • Lamashtar

            Ah, that’s true. In super secure areas, it doesn’t matter if you bring them anyway because the room will block cellphones and they MAKE you use the palaeo-landline.

          • Sally Johnson
        • Sally Johnson
      • At the corner, turn left

        The fact remains that we really don’t know who, as in actual people, are deciding what should be made ‘classified’, ‘secret’ or ‘if you read this, we have to kill you’. Just saying the NSA or the State Dept. is taking away the face of the people involved. How is anyone to know what he or she has written will cross some nameless individual’s desk at a later date and suddenly be deemed classified? It’s an open secret that there is a culture of aggressive over-classification in the government. What’s OK one day is classified the next. Do the NSA, State Dept., CIA, FBI all have the same guidelines for classifying material? Do they work together? I’ve never seen that they do. More like at cross purposes. The fact remains that no-one has found any evidence that Clinton broke the law. Powell and Rice may have had different conditions, but there were still threats to the nation and they did as Clinton did. Clinton is a very public face under attack from rabid, anti-Clintion Republicans using information from a faceless, nameless crowd who seeming can classify at will. Which is the greater problem here?

      • Serai 1

        Sounds like a smart women who understood how much bullshit was involved.

  • Gerald W. Gatling

    be patient dude, it a’int over til the fat lady sings,
    ..

    • Catsailor

      Never charged or convicted of anything. Whereas Skooter Libby was comvicted, and Bush 2 pardoned him. Keep waiting….

      • Gerald W. Gatling
      • Gerald W. Gatling

        It does not matter, Hillary is going to win even if she loses, the fix is in….

        • King of America

          Again, what fix? Far more people are voting for her – that’s actually how people get elected, and does not represent a “fix”.

          • Gerald W. Gatling
          • Gerald W. Gatling
          • King of America

            Yeah sorry you couldn’t explain your lie in any cogent fashion.

          • Gerald W. Gatling

            Don’t worry about it..

          • King of America

            OK, sorry that your below-par career politician candidate failed for exactly the reasons that were obvious at the very start of his campaign (his lack of appeal to minority voters, due in part to him voting against immigration reform), and that you think making wild-eyed conspiracy claims will make it somehow not happen.

          • Gerald W. Gatling

            sure…

          • Gerald W. Gatling

            Stockholm syndrome…

          • King of America

            Pretty sure, yes. You can’t back up a single claim you’ve made, because they are lies.

            I hope that helps!

          • Gerald W. Gatling

            helps you stay in a state of denial….

          • King of America

            Yes, conspiracy theorists like yourself always resort to personal attacks. That’s because they got nothing.

          • Gerald W. Gatling
          • King of America

            Yes what if [hypothetical conspiracy theory] made Sanders not be the loser?

          • Gerald W. Gatling

            of course….

          • King of America

            Keep dreaming the dream and claiming that Hillary “fixed” the election by being a better and more popular candidate.

          • Gerald W. Gatling

            You’re delusional, you’re baby has low likability ratings, almost as low Trumps. The corporate media has the fix in for Hillary, but who cares, this whole scenario will jut have to play out.

          • King of America

            Sorry you’re a sore loser who believes idiotic things! Not my fault. Hillary Clinton will be the next President of the United States, no matter how big a tantrum you throw.

            I hope that helps!

          • Gerald W. Gatling

            cool….

          • King of America

            See previous post

          • Gerald W. Gatling

            you also….

          • King of America

            See previous two posts.

          • King of America

            also “your”

          • Gerald W. Gatling

            all you Hillarybots are anonymous, what’s up with that?

          • King of America

            How am I anonymous? I am the King of America.

          • Gerald W. Gatling

            looks like pumpkin head…

          • King of America

            OK sorry that you are so broken that you can’t let anyone else have the last word. Probably why you’re a conspiracy theorist sore about their lacklustre candidate losing.

          • Gerald W. Gatling

            you work for wonkette, don’t you? you get paid for this crap..

          • King of America

            See previous post.

          • Gerald W. Gatling

            I bet you really a program robot set up to answer questions, with stock answers

          • King of America

            Why do you keep responding to the same posts? What is wrong with you (I mean, aside from the obvious)?

          • Gerald W. Gatling

            are you in “sleep mode”?

          • King of America

            Three replies to one post. You are even more broken than your baseless insults and endless crybaby conspiracy theories would lead one to suspect.

          • Gerald W. Gatling

            looks like a pumpkin head…

          • King of America

            Also, how does complaining about the supposed faults of other people in any way make up for your own glaring ignorance of your native language and political systems?

          • Gerald W. Gatling

            ok

          • King of America

            Didn’t think you could come up with an answer for that. But then, at least you’re consistent.

          • Gerald W. Gatling

            this site is weird, it has a serious latency period..

          • King of America

            Yeah that’s not really an excuse for lying and insulting people. Sorry you’re garbage!

          • Gerald W. Gatling

            thanks, “your”

          • King of America

            Why are you replying to the same posts multiple times? Are you mad that your functional illiteracy is showing?

          • Gerald W. Gatling

            Cool…

          • jeffision

            According to recent polls by CNN, MSNBC, and NYT, Sanders has a 10 point lead over Trump but Clinton only has a risky 4 point lead over Trump. She’ll become the nominee, but Sanders is a far better bet to beat Trump. Clinton better beg Sanders to be her veep to avoid risking SCOTUS.

          • King of America

            So what? Nobody has attacked Sanders yet, of course he’s going to poll higher. The best Democratic candidate is the one who has proven she can actually win, by winning.

  • Gerald W. Gatling

    “but so far investigators haven’t found evidence to prove that Clinton willfully violated the law the U.S. officials say” what officials? FBI or Clinton campaign officials?

    • Coquettish

      FBI. Clinton campaign also made this statement, but the investigators come from the FBI.

  • Gerald W. Gatling

    Skooter Libby was not running for president..

    • Catsailor

      Clinton is. Got anything?

      • Gerald W. Gatling

        I’m not FBI, Do you have any info for complete exoneration?

        • theCryptofishist

          Um. Not that I”m a big fan of hers, but if you don’t know that you can’t prove a negative, you’re probably not ready for this website.

          • Gerald W. Gatling
          • Gerald W. Gatling

            anyway, it don’t matter, because even if no one votes for Hillary, she will win, the fix is already in, big time.

          • Lamashtar

            Wow. A nutty billionaire takes over the Republican Party and spanks them like bitches, a Jewish Socialist comes within a hairs breadth of taking over the Democratic Party…

            But its all rigged. They planned that shit out. That’s impressive, man. Oscar level direction, serious.

          • King of America

            What “fix”? I mean, she’s enormously popular – more popular by far than either Trump or Sanders – so I guess the “fix” might mean “way more people are going to vote for her”, but that’s a really stupid phrase.

        • King of America

          In order to be exonerated, there would have to be the implication of a crime on Hillary’s part. There isn’t and never has been; this investigation was never of her in the first place.

          I hope that helps!

      • cleos_mom

        At least a bushel basket of conspiracy theories.

  • Gerald W. Gatling

    I say this again, I’ve never been able to log into any of my former employers severs without using their issued equipment on a virtual private network. Shillary did work for the State Department is this correct?

    • ltmcdies

      yeh…that “shillary” is kind a dead giveaway of the usefulness of the preceding post.

      thanks for playing

    • JD Mulvey

      Gerald can’t even get himself banned… it’s sad, really.

      • Gerald W. Gatling

        thank you for the compliment..

      • Serai 1

        His lameness is not even worthy of the effort it takes to push the button.

  • Gerald W. Gatling

    Oh,,, I know, she’s better than anybody else..

    • Catsailor

      What is a Hilz hater to do when all his best gladiators have gone down on flames?

      • Gerald W. Gatling

        ???? best gladiators?? What is the a game of war or something… I don’t hate Hillary Clinton, but if you look over her record you’ll find her to be a dangerous person with regime change and war mongering. Not the best person to have the hands on the nuclear codes.

        • Mark A Dresslar

          ????Don’t you mean nucular??

          • Gerald W. Gatling

            ok

        • Lamashtar

          “I don’t hate XYZ but”

        • Serai 1

          * yawn * You guys really need some new material.

          • SamyyCiao

            Your real creative – right – NOT!

          • Serai 1

            *yawn again* A “not” joke? Really? How very 80’s.

        • King of America

          What regime changes? What war mongering? Where do you idiots get this stuff?

          • Gerald W. Gatling

            Honduras, Libya,Iraq, wants to do the same in Syria. Never a war she did not like. this is common knowledge,

          • Gerald W. Gatling

            I get this information from M$NBC, CNN, ABC, CBS, FOX,, all the liberal honest, unbiased non corporate journalist networks..

          • King of America

            No you didn’t. You got from whatever fetid echo chamber you hang out in.

          • King of America

            Ah, so baseless conspiracy theory, actual policy of the US, baseless conspiracy theory, baseless smear. Got it, thanks.

          • King of America

            PS: “common knowledge” does not actually mean “stuff I heard on the internet”; just a helpful tip.

      • Sally Johnson
        • cinesimonj

          Geez you’re lazy.

          • Sally Johnson

            Saved you the trouble of typing “link?” and this is the thanks I get?

  • Sally Johnson

    Happy Mother’s Day. Here’s the link for all you lazy people: http://www.cbsnews.com/news/emails-show-nsa-rejected-hillary-clinton-request-for-secure-smartphone/

    • RC

      so she asked for a secure phone, she asked for the necessary tools and was told no not for you to expensive, only for the President so she set up a personal server to talk to her people about everything but classified information.

    • Mark A Dresslar

      gullible:
      adjective
      1.
      easily deceived or cheated.
      Synonyms
      credulous, trusting, naive, innocent, simple, green

      • Sally Johnson

        Commenter, heal thyself.

  • RC

    OMG this thread is infested with bugs. I’m not going in any farther. Have fun folks.

  • SamyyCiao

    Theory – why The Burn has not dropped out – FBI leaked him some info on the email scandal that may knock HC out!

    • jmk

      Samyy… Samyy… the word “theory” does not mean “thing Samyy pulled out of his ass and admired.”

      It means something else entirely.

      Ciao, cupcake.

      • SamyyCiao

        jmk you a true loser in life, love and everything – no cares about what you say or do – your statements are dumb and I am sure your a meth addict! PS I love cupcakes but you can not eat them as you so fat that you have a hard time sitting on a sh^^ter!

        • jmk

          Samyy…Samyy…. why do you just post whatever you pull out of your ass? It makes you look so silly. Your blart makes no sense…and you have some real issues with the English language. In the spirit of friendship that Wonkette fosters, I’ve decided to help you out… to show you where you went wrong in this comment.

          In your introductory fragment, you say “jmk you a true loser in life, love and everything…”
          Unfortunately for you, Samyy, in addition to the fact that you’re missing two commas and an entire word, you’re also factually incorrect – as an IT professional, I have a well-paid career in which I am successful and that I care about, a close and joyful relationship with my beloved, offspring of whom I’m proud, and excellent relationships with my family members and friends. I’m doing really quite well, thanks.

          You then go on to say “no cares about what you say or do…”
          Sadly, once again, you seem to have missed a word… that is, unless you were trying to say I “don’t have a care in the world” about what I say or do. If that wasn’t what you meant, and you just left out the word “one,” then this sentence makes no sense and is factually baseless, since you seem to care enough to keep responding, and you’ve provided no evidence that would indicate that you’re the only one…and I can assure you that my beloved, the offspring, and my family and friends very definitely do care.

          You then opine “your statements are dumb and I am sure your a meth addict!”
          First of all, unless you meant that something I own is a meth addict, the word you SHOULD have used there is not “your” but “you’re.” It’s really not that difficult to understand the difference between the second-person possessive and the contraction of the second-person conjugation of the verb “to be.” Study it. It will come in handy in your life… you may even graduate from third grade this time around if you can finally understand this concept.
          Second, you don’t say “dumb” anymore – the correct term is “mute” – and since my statements are not living things, you’re once again way out.
          Third, since you don’t even know my actual name, your guesses as to my personal habits are uniformly useless.
          Fourth, while I have no doubt that meth addiction is rife in your world, I don’t know any meth addicts and have never seen meth in any form, so you’re (again) completely in error.

          You wrap up your screed with a postscript, but, once again, your ignorance gets in the way, and you add it improperly. A postscript is meant to be placed AFTER a signature, not in the middle of a paragraph…even a paragraph as poorly constructed as yours was.

          In your erroneous postscript, you say “PS I love cupcakes but you can not eat them as you so fat that you have a hard time sitting on a sh^^ter!”
          Unfortunately for you, once again, your inability to write in intelligible English has led you to post what can only be described as buffoonish gibberish that is as baseless and incorrect in its claims about me as it is ignorant and clownish.
          Contrary to your fantasy, my physical health and appearance are quite good, thanks to my five-day-a-week hot yoga practice.
          As to your ghastly mangling of the language, you seem ignorant of the fact that there should be periods after the P and the S because they are abbreviations, that a comma is necessary after the word “cupcakes” to separate the first two clauses of your word salad, that the words “can not” should be written as a single word (“cannot”), that another comma is needed after “them,” that you are missing the verb “are” in the final clause of your masterpiece of derp, and that, on this website, we are grown-ups and can see the word “shitter” without clutching our pearls.

          Sorry, Samyy… I expected no more from someone who doesn’t seem to know how to spell his own name, but even by your abysmal standards, your comment was really, really appalling.

          Ciao.

  • Pugsandcoffee

    But…but…I hate her, so she must be guilty of…SOMETHING! I want to believe! It’s all I and Jane Sanders have left!

  • wingr47

    It’s time she sued one of these asses making false accusations for defamation of Character. 10,000 accusations yet not one shred of evidence in any of them. Enough ya dumb shits. Now, let’s make the fools repay the govt for all the wasted time and money. Hey, Jack, that’s OUR money they waste. Really fiscally responsible, right? How many school lunches could this money have bought? How many winter coats? Shoes?

  • John Smith

    everyone i know who is obsessed with Hillary hatred also says the holicaust victims numbered only in the thousands not the millions. That Obamas people put something in our water to make people move to cities. 9/11 truthers, area 51 nuts, fake moonlanding claims, 2nd JFK shooter,
    clintons warmongering is an issue with me, but it is immensely exaggerated. If Trump gets elected, do you know what will happen to the supreme court?

  • Newfirelock
  • SamyyCiao

    The truth will leak out – DOJ is corrupt but FBI while under these idiots and racists will find away to get the truth out!

  • smh

    Hey Evan, do you feel like a suker for believing CNN’s anonymous sources yet?

  • Star Man

    What good is the FBI? Why do we need them anymore? The Attorney general needs to go also. What a waste of taxpayer money!

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