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gowdy
idiot boy

By now, we all know what happened that fateful night in Benghazi. Hillary Clinton made FOUR DEAD AMERICANS while she ate bon bons and phone-lesbianed Huma Abedin, because she was home alone THE WHOLE NIGHT that night. She also brought Vince Foster back to life so she could send him to Benghazi so she could murder him, and then she did a shady Whitewater land deal, and made an email to Sidney Blumenthal that just said “LOL doin’ Benghazi right now” and Bill Clinton didn’t care because Monica Lewinsky was giving him a hummer right then and he was busy.

And Rep. Trey Gowdy (R-Dumbass) KNOWS this happened. He just can’t prove it. He admitted that his hilariously awful Benghazi hearings produced No New Information which would render Hillary #guilty. In fact, he just ended up looking like a whiny ass titty baby, and made Hillary look Presidential As Fuck. But Gowdy didn’t give up. He is still investigating Benghazi, because one of these days, he’s going to find his smoking gun and YOU’LL SEE!

Well, apparently the Pentagon is officially tired of Gowdy’s shit. The Department Of Defense sent him the bitchiest letter ever, for us to LOL at. Here’s an excerpt:

benghazi

benghazi2

benghazi3

In case you can’t click on the letter to read it in all its pissy glory, because your boss thinks PDF files are NSFW, or if you are just lazy, here are some key phrases that will give you an idea of the overall tone:

  • “I write in response to the Select Committee on Benghazi’s recent crescendo of requests …”
  • “While we understand that investigations evolve over time, it is unfortunate …”
  • “The Department is working diligently to accommodate your staff’s multiple and changing requests; however we are concerned by the continuous threats from your staff…”
  • “Subpoenaing our service members … when no service member has refused to appear voluntarily, is unfair to our uniformed men and women, and an unproductive way to move forward.”
  • “The committee has made requests of individuals who seem unnecessary even for a comprehensive investigation …”
  • “I would respectfully request that you ensure pending interviews remain focused on obtaining facts rather than encouraging speculation.”

Do you sense the SEETHING PISSED-OFF-ITUDE contained in this very polite and official letter? In other words, they are staying STOP fucking wasting everybody’s time, STOP wasting taxpayer money, STOP bothering people, and go the fuck away, Trey Gowdy, you pitiful fucking man-child.

And why do we have this letter? Because the Democrats on the House Benghazi Committee released it, because you just know Rep. Elijah Cummings (D-Badass) and the other Dems on the committee are even more sick of this shit than the Pentagon is.

But Gowdy and his moron GOP pals are almost finished with the investigation finally and will finally derail the 2016 election by proving Hillary is the real murderer, so that Donald J. Trump can be president of bombing the shit out of things. Gowdy did say last year that he figured they’d release their report this year, not that there’s anything political about his investigation, heck no. Oh look, here is an article in The Hill that says they’re getting “close” to spooging out the results of their exclusive investigation (and by “exclusive” we mean the LITERALLY EIGHTH BENGHAZI INVESTIGATION), so maybe this will all be over soon?

NAH, because Trey Gowdy isn’t going to find a fucking thing, so he’ll have to start a ninth investigation, and a tenth investigation, and an eleventieth investigation, and after that he will die from being too stupid to live.

[Department Of Defense letter via The Hill]

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  • Nounverb911

    What about these Trey?

    • Belasaurius

      and let’s not even forget the Beirut Marine bombings under St. Ronnie-of- Nancy’s-Twat

      • Querolous

        Ho dare you!!!111¡¡¡ It’s St. Ronnie-of-Nancy’s-Mouth¡¡¡111!!!

        • Donald E Niman

          Hey, that’s 1’s and !’s abuse!!!1!

    • Reddishrabbit

      But he keep the homeland safe from his very first day, September 12th 2001.

    • Creepoman

      Not to mention 4,500 dead American soldiers in Iraq.

      • Aquaria

        Or the hundreds of thousands of dead Iraqis.

  • Nounverb911

    “Trey Gowdy isn’t going to find a fucking thing, so he’ll have to start a ninth investigation, and a tenth investigation, and an eleventieth investigation”

    Trey’s boss needs to rethink Trey’s performance plan.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      But Trey’s boss is Paul Ryan; and we all know how well Ryan can formulate plans.

  • stankbait

    Send the chairman and the committee a sack of little round rabbit turds.
    Tell the committee the rabbit turds are SMART PILLS.
    When the committee takes a taste of one or two they will say they taste like shit.
    You guys can then tell them they are getting smarter already!

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “There must be a pony in here somewhere.”

    — Trey Gowdy illustrates the dark side of optimism

    • SisterArtemis

      probably that weirdo Zakora….

    • Aquaria

      He’s downright Panglossian.

  • Belasaurius

    I have nothing is the same thing Trey says when he looks at himself naked in a mirror

    • cleanfront

      Eerily similar to Ted Cruz … so I’m told.

    • Aquaria

      So saith every republican at such a moment.

      It’s why they’re republicans in the first place.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    They’d best just settle down. Gowdy is still playing a game of Clue he started back in 2004.

  • Lizzietish81

    Well thankfully the emails will get her!

    • JustPixelz

      As Fox “News” reminds us every 20 minutes.

    • FauxAntocles

      What number investigation are they at on that one?
      Maybe we need a Constitutional amendment to limit the number of times Congress can investigate a politician they don’t like.

      • coozledad

        We need a new Hastert Rule. Every time the Republicans call for an investigation there must first be an investigation into whether the Republican Speaker has had his dick in a child.

  • Jay Vaughn

    I think we can all agree that Gowdy looks like bottles strangers farts so he can smell them later. Nude.

    • Belasaurius

      two references to Gowdy nude in the first five comments.

      • Jay Vaughn

        Lunch is over; no need to pull punches.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Lunch is only over because out here on the Left Coast, we’ve lost our appetites!

    • Sardonicuss

      He also seems to enjoy 11 hour spankings

    • riledupone

      And farts in the bathtub and eats the bubbles.

  • cleanfront

    Wait until Gowdy finds out about the transgender bathroom in the Benghazi embassy that stored Obama’s Kenyan birth certificate in a glass case, a small tube of Vaseline, and a bowl of mints. Then shit will really hit the fan!

    • Msgr_Moment

      The bowl of mints was a masterful touch. I applaud your genius!

  • Msgr_Moment

    At the Pentagon, it is no longer Gowdy Doody time.

  • JustPixelz

    Congress should launch a full-scale investigation into Gowdy’s waste, fraud and abuse. The American people are entitled to THE TRUTH.

    • H0mer0

      or a waste fraud and abuse regarding Cruz’ grandstanding and shutting down the Govmint (take $5 off every check from Medicare I receive–thanks asshole!) and for the numerous times they tried to repeal the ACA and the BS about not confirming a new SCOTUS justice

  • Villago Delenda Est

    “I write in response to the Select Committee on Benghazi’s recent crescendo of requests …”

    Oh, this sets the tone for the rest of the response quite nicely.

    “I believe the timpani are much quieter and less annoying than your entire raft of requests, douchenozzle.”

    /highfive to the guy or gal in the Pentagon who wrote this. Epic!

    • AntiDerpomeme

      Shorter DoD: “Cut the crap with the fishing expeditions. You’ve got nothing.”

    • Tallmutha

      And the trombone parts are especially sad.

      • DoILookAmused2u ?

        Not the Mercatos. Just the Cuivres.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Are the Trombones especially rusty?

        • DoILookAmused2u ?

          Did you know the predecessor to the trombone is called the sackbut?

          • Doug Langley

            No, but if you hum it, I’ll try to pick it up.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      The Crescendo needs synth whooshes to be all Hybrid ‘n shit.

  • Tallmutha

    Trey, I know you thought you had a hot one here, but this is now and that was THENGHAZI!!!1!

    • Percy Bitch Shelley

      I want to boo that pun. I really do. But I can’t.

      • Msgr_Moment

        BOOGHAZI!!!

        • arglebargle

          GOWDYGHAZI!!1!

          • Percy Bitch Shelley

            BENGOWDY!!!1!!

          • Brother Yam

            Boy, Gowdy, I’ve had enough of this guy…

          • Creepoman

            BEN-GAYZI!!!!11!1

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    Benghazi #1 – Romney in a Landslide!!!!
    Benghazi 2-5, Internal investigations plus a joint task force
    Benghazi 6-7: Take back the Senate for Republicans
    Benghazi 8: Stop Clinton! Even if it means chasing down internet rumors and people who call into the Alex Jones show to create a false impression!

    2012-2016.

    All of this because 4 people died. 3,000 died on 9/11. Thousands more US
    servicemen died in the Iraq War, 10s of thousands of servicemen are
    missing arms, legs, etc.

    13 Consulates and Embassies were attacked when Bush was President, and over 60 personnel were killed including Diplomat David Foy in Karachi.

    Number of select committees for previous attacks on consulates or embassies while Bush was President? Zero. Nothing, nada, zip. Let alone one that went rutting around in Colin Powell’s private email account which he used exclusively for all
    email.

    • Reddishrabbit

      I seem to remeber the CIA officer who didn’t warn thr FBI and State about a 9/11 plotter was moved up the ranks (torturing some people along the way) to General.

    • JustPixelz

      You forgot the movie “13 hours” which, according to Fox _________, was going to destroy Hillary.
      http://insider.foxnews.com/2016/01/18/kelly-file-what-impact-will-13-hours-film-have-hillary-and-2016-race

      • Jared James

        And let’s not forget the ground-breaking documentary Hillary’s America, which totally destroyed Killary and the entire Dumbocrat Party forever and ever, amen.

    • OneYieldRegular

      I cannot wait until President Hillary Clinton directs the Justice Department to launch an investigation into allegations of Trey Gowdy’s abuse of government resources.

      • crisptickle

        ain’t going to happen, because “looking forward”, not back.

      • Aquaria

        Democrats never go for the jugular that way.

        Not that I don’t suspect Hillary of wanting to break out an entire dungeon of medieval torture on republicans because she’s tired of dealing with their filth.

        I just don’t think she’ll do it.

        I suspect that what she’ll do instead is subtly do things that make the conservafilth ramp up to such insane shit that the rest of the country may finally wake the fuck up about the real problem in this country and say enough is enough.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Trent Gowdy, more likable than Ted Cruz, smarter than Tom Cotton, more integrity than Daryl Issa?

    • Msgr_Moment

      How can we play FMK if you don’t give us any F’s or M’s?

    • cleanfront

      I’ll go with D. none of the above.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Better lubricated than Larry Craig.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        It’s all that leftover flop sweat from the Hilz Hearing.

    • riledupone

      You said there’d be no math.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    So, Draco Malfoy is foiled, yet again, by the Auror office.

    • nmmagyar

      Draco grew up to be a hottie. Gowdy looks like the doctor used the Jaws Of Life for forceps.

      • H0mer0

        Lucius was pretty hot too.

  • drbloor

    What? The committee hasn’t subpoenaed the airmen that were on duty the night PFC Santiago was to be flown stateside? Negligence!

    • Sardonicuss

      They can’t handle the truth!

  • Lance Thrustwell

    These upstanding gentlemen are going to time the “release” of their report to inflict the maximum damage on Hillary’s campaign. Not that the factual content of the report will be damaging, but they – and the nutjob media outlets – will do their best to spin it as if it is, knowing that most people will not bother to read it.

    Boy, I’m glad there aren’t any cynical politics being played here, no sir.

  • Rufus T. Firefly

    I thought it was Rep. Trey Gowdy (R-Slytherin).

    • YourNameHere

      As a Slytherin I take offense at this.

  • Callyson

    Oh look, here is an article in The Hill that says they’re getting “close” to spooging out the results of their exclusive investigation (and by “exclusive” we mean the LITERALLY EIGHTH BENGHAZI INVESTIGATION), so maybe this will all be over soon?

    https://cdn.meme.am/instances/63356902.jpg

  • limberrat

    **In Dr. Claw Voice**
    I’ll get you next time Clinton, Neeeext Tiiiimeeee.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “If it wasn’t for those meddling kids…”

  • JustPixelz

    I’m not sure why they’re continuing the “investigation”. Self-declared presumptive Republican nominee has declared her “Crooked* Hillary” which settles it.
    __________________________________
    * crooked = not straight (wink, wink)

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Pinking shears! It’s all about pinking shears!

      • JustPixelz

        “Pinking” Is that what the kids are calling it these days? I had just gotten used to “love that dare not speak its name”.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Well, was making a scissoring reference. You know, crooked scissors? Pinking shears? Get it?

  • This is an easy fix, the DoD just needs to hack Rep. Gowdy’s twitter feed and post some anti-Melania Drumpf tweets on it and let the trumpanzees run wild on him.

    • FauxAntocles

      Chimpanzee libelz!

    • Suse

      The person who wrote the GQ article on Malaria is getting death threats (allegedly).

    • nmmagyar

      Didn’t Snowden used to work for them?

  • georgiaburning

    Serve him two slices of that special chocolate pie

    • Skadi

      And the cakes we don’t like?

    • Doug Langley

      With canned clam topping.

  • Sardonicuss
    • Grokenstein

      Not that strange, though. These two groups are on opposite ends of the political spectrum, but aside from that they are startlingly similar.

    • They’re starting to wig me out almost as much as the ‘baggers…

  • Rick Hill

    It’s almost as though they think the rest of the world has a high paying non job like they do.
    Don’t do any actual legislating and just phone it in? Congress wants you!

  • baconzgood

    At what point can Hillz get a restraing order against Gowdy? Because this is now looking like harassment.

    • nmmagyar

      She needs a judge to sign it. I vote for my hero – RBG.

    • lroom

      Now?!

  • You know, Gowdy seemed a lot more sane when he was calling sportsball games on the TV.

    • proudgrampa

      I know, right?

    • lroom

      That last battle at Hogwarts really got to him.

  • YourNameHere

    They had the military search for some guy who said something on his facebook page.

    We need to be done now.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      And another guy had to be searched for because he allegedly called into some show like Alex Jones and claimed to be a drone operator.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        This just goes to show that they’re looking for something, anything, no matter if it’s authentic or truthful, to pin on Hillary based on what some anonymous clown claiming to be a drone operator called in to Hannity’s show.

        Cripes, this does not pass the chain-of-custody test in the slightest. “Well, some guy on the internet said it, it must be true!”

        • DoILookAmused2u ?

          My dogs growled during her testimony.

          They will be subpoenaed .

          • lroom

            I laughed my ass off during Hillary’s testimony. When are they subpoenaing me!! 11!

          • DoILookAmused2u ?

            You must know something.

            What so funny? Were you home alone the entire time? I don’t see what’s funny about that.

          • Donald E Niman

            I laughed so hard during Hillary’s testimony that I broke wind. Several times. I expect a certified letter any time now.

    • SayItWithWookies

      And Ash Carter doesn’t want them subpoena’d? Let them try to write up a subpoena for a Mr. “TruthBenghazi” who said a comment that one time, and see how quick it gets laughed out of committee.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      They should subpoena that Jim guy from The Office. He knows The Truth.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Notice how Hillary and the Americans who were killed in Benghazi work for the State Department, and Gowdy is assiduously trying to find out information from Defense. It’s almost like he’s not really looking for where the answers might be, but looking to find nothing so he can continue insinuating that there’s a cover-up.

    It’s exactly the opposite of the drunk guy who lost his car keys and is looking under the streetlamp down the block for them because the light’s better. In this case, the car keys are under the streetlamp in plain view, and Gowdy’s looking in the dark alley because he knows he won’t find anything there.

    • nmmagyar

      They are still pursuing the mythical “Stand Down” order she gave the military. Which is not only totally fucking illegal, but wouldn’t have been followed.

    • pstockholm

      I was told there would be no metaphors.

      • Dudleydidwrong

        There are no more metaphors. They drowned. Noah left them off of the ark because he already took on two similes and he couldn’t tell the difference.

        • malsperanza

          Or rather, it’s as if he couldn’t tell the difference.

    • wurman

      Howdy Gowdy may be looking at the workable cover-up. Glen Doherty and Tyrone Woods did not work for the State Dept. They both left the Navy SEALs and become private security contractors to the CIA–Gen. Petraeus was their boss as Director. The House and the Senate recently approved a $400,000 payoff to Doherty’s family [ http://www.bostonherald.com/news/local_coverage/herald_bulldog/2016/04/glen_dohertys_family_awarded_400000_death_benefit ]. Woods’ family received the benefit(s) immediately. They were killed at the CIA Annex about a mile away from the so-called “Diplomatic Compound” where Ambassador Stevens and Information Mgt. Officer Sean Smith were killed.

      Howdy Gowdy and his rethuglicans still believe that the military officer in charge (Army Lt. Col. S.E. GibsonO at the “real” US Embassy in Tripoli was ordered to “stand down” which allowed the Benghazi attacks to continue. Army Gen. Carter Ham and Navy Vice-Adm. Charles “Joe” Leidig have both testified absolutely and unequivocally that no such order was ever given. More so, there was no way for Sec. State Clinton (or anyone at the State Dept.) to have even communicated with those military commanders.

      The rightwingnutjobz and ALL the media have continually attempted to link the deaths of Doherty and Woods to Mrs. Clinton and the State Dept. This myth is allowed to go forward (even by Hillary Clinton) so the Petraeus/CIA cover-up and the Pentagon cover-up of the forbidden weapons-to-Syrians schtick will not be exposed.

      • malsperanza

        Naive question here: if an order had been given, wouldn’t there have been a record of it? And if the record had been deleted somehow, wouldn’t the deletion have been visible? I mean, military orders nowadays are not some guy picking up a radio phone and shouting “Stand down!” and then slamming down the receiver, are they?

        • wurman

          It’s complicated. When a 4-star Army general testifies under oath to a special House committee that absolutely no “stand down” order was or could have possibly been issued, and the majority of the committee does not believe the retired general, then further investigation is required. But . . . Republicans, as a whole, and House GOP especially, have decided that military generals and admirals are in the bag for Obama and Hillary so they cannot be rusted or believed.

          • malsperanza

            Geezus, if the DOD is in the bag for the Dems, what’s left? The Ag Dept?

          • wurman

            Education and Environmental Protection . . . maybe. . . ?

  • ViveLaRes

    Whoa. I don’t think I’ve seen post-it notes and binder clips since 2009.

    • Randy Riddle

      I haven’t seen that hairstyle since the 90s.

  • Slithytoves

    I hope they have her testify again. That was amazeballs.

    • nmmagyar

      They don’t have the balls do do it. They know just how bad she spanked them the first time.

    • Doug Langley

      They knew they were in trouble when her opening statement was “I’m Hillary Clinton, and I approve this message”.

  • hollydturner

    I give the pentagon a solid A in English for correctly using the word crescendo in the first sentence.

    • Pickwicknext

      And a coninuing D to the R-Dumbasses who are freaking out over the foreign word!

  • Steven M. Harries

    Why are the GOP clowns so determined to out our illegal CIA-outposts-disguised-as-embassies, anyhow? Next thing you know, they out some person in the CIA whose husband they have a difference of opinion with . . .

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Well, said person will make them look like lying assholes, which, while accurate, hurts their precious undead feefees.

      • Steven M. Harries

        I loved Alexander Cockburn’s column from the mid-2000s having a laugh at the liberals who were forced to defend CIA Op Valerie Plame only because Rove was perceived to be more odious.

        A pox on both houses.

        But of course we’re the ones who will get trampled by these lunatic factions.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Valerie Plame’s job was to coordinate a network of informants inside Iran monitoring Iran’s nuclear program.

          Darth Cheney basically destroyed that network. Probably for fear it would undermine his plans for yet another war of aggression.

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            It’s not like NOC assets were in any danger and I can’t imagine Iranian intelligence would employ the kind of people who would engage in summary execution of suspected spies. I’m sure it wasn’t any big deal, really.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            Prezactly. Meticulously crafted covers blown to smithereens all out of spite because her husband had the audacity to blurt out the truth about yellowcake.

          • Steven M. Harries

            And Dumbya said, “Yellowcake, bananacake, what’s the difference?”

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            There’s always Wayne Simmons stunningly accurate analysis. Oh, *checks news feed* maybe not.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            Sad. Would have liked to have read that. Probably read it once before and forgotten it, I’m getting up there in years.

          • malsperanza

            If there’s one thing Cheney, Addington, Rumsfeld, and their operative Rove were good at, it was petty spite. They bombed a few cities out of spite.

          • malsperanza

            In my more paranoid moments, I think that is exactly what happened. In my more rational moments, I am pretty sure it was a typical case of the Congressional GOP running off with a bone like a rabid dog, while the White House and State Departments frantically blew their dog whistles and flapped their hands.

    • Sardonicuss

      Yes, who could Plame them.

      • Kavefish

        They’re pretty much obliged to at this point, otherwise they might be accused of being yellowcake.

  • BearGHAZI

    Who is this Ben Ghazi and why won’t Hillary LET HIM SPEAK?!?!

    • proudgrampa

      Brother of yours?

    • churl

      He’s a wide receiver on the Jets’ practice squad.

    • bupkus23

      Used to star on “Run for Your Life”. Also, Patrick Swayze’s “Roadhouse” nemesis.

  • Skadi

    With apologies to Henry Cabot Lodge (and many others)…

    Absolute knowledge have I none,
    But my aunt’s hairdresser’s sister’s son
    Heard a patrolman on his beat
    Say to a vendor in the street
    That he had an e-mail just last week —
    An e-mail which he did not seek —
    From a salesman in Timbuktu
    Who said that his brother in Cuba knew
    Of a racecar driver from a Georgia town,
    Who got the dope from a circus clown,
    That a man in the Yukon had it straight
    From a guy in a failed Middle Eastern state,
    That a scientist over in Borneo
    Was told by a woman who claimed to know,
    Of a well-known society rake,
    Whose mother-in-law will undertake
    To prove that her husband’s cousin’s niece
    Has said in her blog’s newest piece
    That she has a son — who just went out —
    Who knows what Benghazi is about.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    after that he will die from being too stupid to live.

    We’re there already!

    • Skadi

      Don’t we all?

  • proudgrampa

    You know, if this was some sort of civilian investigation, this creep would be charged with wasting official time, etc. It’s a shame there’s no stop to this crap.

  • GDleftyPart2

    Thank you Mr. Hedger for saying what needs to be said to Trey.
    Say, anyone seen him lately?

  • Mavenmaven

    …And when they are done with Benghaziing everyone, they can go back to periodic repeals of Obamacare…

    • A better use of periodic events?

      • PubOption

        Why don’t they just table the inquiry?

        • Doug Langley

          Elementary, my dear Pub.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      Don’t be silly, they’ll also be busy with trying to get rid of the IRS and cutting taxes on people who have so much money they literally don’t know what to do with it.

    • SayItWithWookies

      That’ll have to wait — the Senate is too busy not having hearings for the Supreme Court nominee.

    • Querolous

      I’d make a snark about men-o-pause but I got nothing.

      • cleos_mom

        According to Edith Bunker, that should be “womenpause.” Think about it.

  • Suse

    Why not combine the babby parts committee with the Benghazi committee? It would save time and money, plus Cecile and Hillz together would be awesome. BABBYGHAZI!!11!

    • nmmagyar

      Until this very second I had never thought of the possibility of Cecile as Veep. Schwing!!!

      • Suse

        She’s my 3rd girl crush, along with Liz Warren and Rachel Maddow.

        • nmmagyar

          No love for RBG?

          • Msmlg1979

            I have enough love for her for 2 people!

          • Suse

            I like her, too!

  • JMP

    Remember how people actually laughed at Hilary Clinton for talking about the vast right-wing conspiracy out to smear her and her husband in the 90s?

    • Msmlg1979

      It’s funny when ladies say stuff like they know somethin’! Hur hur hur!

      • H0mer0

        It’s soooo cute!
        now make me a sammich!

        • Msmlg1979

          I could eat a sammich, actually.

        • cleos_mom

          And “iron my shirt.” (2008)

          As I recall, a radio station thought it would be cute to plant someone in a campaign rally audience to shout that at her.

    • Bitter Scribe

      People still bring that up, how many years later? And it’s a tiny fraction of the complaining about the media that Trump, Palin, etc. do every week.

      • JMP

        Still bring it up, while ignoring the fact that she was 100% right.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      It was pretty open, and somehow the Village missed it.

      Mainly because the Village was in on the con.

      Hence my nym.

      • Querolous

        It takes a village to raise a conspiracy.

    • h4rr4r

      I love your profile Pic.
      Gen1 or GTFO.

    • lroom

      Dumbass RWs still bring that up in every comment thread on the internet.

    • cleos_mom

      They were the same people who applauded and cheered when Rotten Reagan broke up the air traffic controllers’ union. At the time, I enjoyed many a fantasy of numerous flights-gone-awry crashing into their cars.

  • Bitter Scribe

    The most priceless part of the letter IMO:

    The Committee has requested to interview an individual identified as “John from Iowa” who described himself as a Remotely Piloted Aircraft (RPA) camera operator on a talk radio show(1), where he described what he allegedly saw in the video feed from the night of the attack.

    And here is the footnote:

    (1) Interview available at: http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2013/05/07 /purported-benghazi-drone-operator-calls-sean­ hannity-with-new-details-cant-be-armed-that-night-and-no-one-has-contacted-me/.

    They’re demanding that the United States Department of Defense locate some goofball who called into Sean fucking Hannity’s radio show as reported on Glenn fucking Beck’s website.

    Infants. The Republican Party is being run by infants.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      Don’t insult infants! Donna Rose is way smarter than these idiots.

      • GDleftyPart2

        It’s the parents doing the molding….

      • MarkM

        The contents of Donna Rose’s diaper after a large BM is smarter than these idiots.

        • Linda Gutierrez

          “my room mate Lori Is getting paid on the internet 98$/hr”…..!cc375gtwo days ago grey MacLaren P1 I bought after earning 18,512 DoIIars..it was my previous month’s payout..just a little over.17k DoIIars Last month..3-5 hours job a day…with weekly payouts..it’s realy the simplest. job I have ever Do.. I Joined This 7 months. ago. and now making over. hourly 87 DoIIars…Learn. More right Here !cc375g:➽:➽:➽➽➽➽ http://GlobalSuperJobsReportsEmploymentsPlansGetPayHourly$98…. .❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦::::::!cc375g….,

        • Earlenejcarson4

          “my room mate Lori Is getting paid on the internet 98$/hr”…..!cc767gtwo days ago grey MacLaren P1 I bought after earning 18,512 DoIIars..it was my previous month’s payout..just a little over.17k DoIIars Last month..3-5 hours job a day…with weekly payouts..it’s realy the simplest. job I have ever Do.. I Joined This 7 months. ago. and now making over. hourly 87 DoIIars…Learn. More right Here !cc767g:➽:➽:➽➽➽➽ http://GlobalSuperJobsReportsEmploymentsEverythingGetPayHourly$98…. .❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦::::::!cc767g….,..

    • nmmagyar

      Toddlers are more destructive. Just sayin’

      • h4rr4r

        Also smarter too.

    • h4rr4r

      The fact that “theblaze.com” domain name is used for this purpose is a worldwide tragedy.

    • limberrat

      So…they are looking for an unstable guy who clearly was not involved in the operation, but called into a radio show to claim he was. Yeah that makes total sense.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        You have to find something, anything, to use as an innuendo against that, that…..WOMAN!

      • malsperanza

        Cherchez l’écrou a oreilles.

    • beavertank

      “Infants” is a lot nicer than I would have gone with. Hell, at my nicest I’d go with “whiny titty babies”.

    • Gleem-McShinez

      How is the DOD going to locate that guy?

      “We’ve got a list of 22,149 people named John that live in Iowa, 11,140 were on the phone during that time, and 4,120 were masturbating or at least breathing heavily, at the time. Once we correlate that list with men that were in the service, we will have our man”

      • SessileRaptor

        Correction, once they correlate that list with all men that were found psychology unfit for service but applied to every branch until the local recruiters all took out restraining orders, THEN they’ll have their man. (or at least they’ll narrow it down to 50 or so guys.)

    • phoenix00

      but… infants aren’t capable of this level of fiction?!

  • Vegan and Tiara

    My letter would be a lot shorter. It would just say “Dear assholes, Drop dead! Everyone is sick of this shit other than you and the drooling idiots who watch Fox News. Sincerely, Department of Destroying Things.” PS – you people are disgusting to try to politicize this tragedy.

    • Msmlg1979

      I would like to hire you as my new Customer Service Rep immediately.

      • Pickwicknext

        And chief communications officer

      • Vegan and Tiara

        Sorry, I just got a phone call from Reince Priebus, and he told me they’d give me the GOP would give me a million dollars a year if I’d put away all reason and sanity, use my powers for evil instead of good, and go to work for the GOP. I’m glad I have no conscience and flexible morals.

        • Msmlg1979

          I can’t compete with that!

        • Doug Langley

          A million dollars? Wow, where do I sign up?

          Er, asking for a friend.

          • Vegan and Tiara

            I always wonder how people can sell their souls to the GOP, but those dumb rubes seem to have an unlimited amount of money to waste on insane causes.

      • Aquaria

        Don’t laugh. The Republicans actually tried to hire me as a speechwriter and otherwise general purpose liar.

        They were going to pay me yoooooge money, too.

        I laughed in their faces and told them I’d rather stay unemployed, thanks.

        • Msmlg1979

          Integrity!

  • Bill Slider

    If the House Committee wants more attention, why not re-open Vince Foster’s death inquiry. After all, Hillary was but the FLOTUS and never really pummeled at the time. Everyone knows she, not Bill, was the most involved with Foster. The Internet told me so. There is, after all, a close connection to the two deaths, and it is more than Hillary. The Libyan Ambassador allegedly was gay. The McLean, VA overlook of the Potomac river where the body of Vince Foster was found was a widely known gay sex quicky park. Hillary just had too much gay in her life and needed to cull the herd. Case closed.

  • Those tax-and-spend liberals are AT IT AGAIN!!!

    • Anarchy Pony

      Spending and deficits are only bad when libtards do it, duh!

  • Hemp Dogbane

    Gowdy was found dead today inside an elevator on the main floor of the Capitol Building. Sources speculated that the aide tasked with reminding him to breathe was “occupied” in the restroom.

    • Justno

      I bet he didn’t belong in that bathroom. Further proof there should be a law against that.

  • fumes

    Looking forward to a Madam President. Go Hillary!

    • RepubAnon

      I expect the BENGHAZI!!!!! Investigations to end after Hillary’s second term…

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Unless a future DEM president trolls the GOPtards by appointing her to the Supreme Court. (Not in his final year in office, obvs.)

  • AnOuthouse

    How many people who appear in the same phone directory as Hitlery have to die for you people to start asking questions? Wake up sheeple!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      The day will come when they’re ALL DEAD!!! Maybe then you sheeple will figure it out!

  • FauxAntocles

    Really, this Benghazi investigation has been slipshod at best – I have never been subpoenaed!! COVERUP!!!111!!!
    Sure, I would say I was in the Colorado that day, but IS THERE PROOF?!?

  • beavertank

    Gowdy will end up like that archetypal old prospector coot, sitting in his shack, staring at his hole in the ground, muttering again and again “…there’s a mother lode in there, I knows it, I can feel it in mah bones, just one more day’s digging… just one more…”

    Except even more pathetic.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      Sure. Let’s pretend they don’t know this is all bullshit like we’re common idiots.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Hamilton Burger. Foiled by Perry Mason yet again.

      • Doug Langley

        Fun fact: apparently Erle Stanley Gardner admired Bill Talman (Burger) even more than Raymond Burr. The reason? “He actually looks like he expects to win a case!”

    • That’s a good enough excuse to post this:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCrDyOKPB2c

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      …because old prospector coot at least has a chance.

    • Aquaria

      It’s time to break out the Christopher Hitchens Razor:

      What can be asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence.

  • Scooby

    How close could they be? They haven’t even subpoenaed me yet!

    • Sally Johnson

      Ruh roh!

  • Joshua Norton

    He is still investigating Benghazi, because one of these days, he’s going to find his smoking gun and YOU’LL SEE!

    WHY ARE OBAMA AND DEMOCRATS LEADING US ON THIS WILD GOOSE CHASE OVER BENGHAZI?!?

    • Blanche Beecham

      OT but related. I got all my comments deleted over on the New Republic Onlne today. I was accused of distorting with objectively cool comments – and that is the problem with rwnj’s (not all, but most) if you don’t agree you are an enemy and that proves they are right. It makes no sense what so ever.

      I love your all caps. I snorted coca-cola out my nose.

      • GDleftyPart2

        They’ll also be the first ones to scream about freedumb of speech once banhammered….unless it’s their banhammer, it’s the debbil.

        • They’ll frame it as “first amendment” too, since it’s the gov’ment banning them from that private website…

      • limberrat

        They are right no matter what. Even if you presented actual data, they are still right. If you come across as snarky or rude or if you swear at them, they claim a moral high ground making them “right” again.

        • Anarchy Pony

          Their on the “The Right” therefore they’re always right QEDerp Libtards!

        • rosenbomb

          I read a comment argument on Hatewatch recently, and any time someone presented stats, the RWNJs came back with replies like, “typical libtards, always using statistics to try and back your point.” Oh, the horror!

          • cat cafe

            “Oh, well, if you’re going to believe THE INTERNET AND THE MEDIA hahahaha”

          • MarkM

            They hate people who try to refute their unhinged delusions with “facts”.

  • Sally Johnson
    • Villago Delenda Est

      Oh, that IS epic!

      • Sally Johnson

        The nice part is the guy who got the letter from the Browns thought it was funny and they all got along fine after a big laugh.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Per Snopes․com, he said, “I thought it was pretty cool. I’ve used that letter a couple times myself since.”

    • MarkM

      The only way they could have improved on that is if they had delivered it by folding it into a paper airplane and gliding it onto his desk…

  • TheGrandWaz00

    As close to the Benghazi investigation I could find.
    http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/hula.gif

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Little girl failing at hoola-hooping libelz!

    • Serolf Divad

      She’s more adept at hula hoopin’ than Trey Gowdy is at investigatin’

    • Skadi

      Where did you find that old video of me?!? ?

    • Blanche Beecham

      Reminds me of the first time I had sex.

    • SayItWithWookies

      They have light-up hula hoops now?! BRB…

    • Notreelyhelping

      I think we’ve found Trump’s running mate.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Unlike Gowdy, she’s too smart to keep thrashing around for 22 months.

  • Justno

    “…crescendo of requests…”

    Fucking awesome. My new favorite phrase. And DoD person is now one of my heroes.

    • mailman27

      Right up there with “farrago of nonsense.”

  • Sally Johnson

    Dear Mr. Chairman,

    The GPS coordinates to your ass right now are…

  • nightmoth

    Is that simpering simpleton up for re-election this year? Because his constituents need to kick him so far out of office he’ll never run again, not even for dogcatcher.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      South Carolina Rethuglican. No way they’ll vote him out no matter how incompetent or foolish he looks, he’s ideologically pure.

      • nightmoth

        Damn!!!

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        So the same situation as Louie Gohmert.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Yup. They revel in their stupidity.

          • MarkM

            What else have they got?

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            At the first sign of brains, they’d be primaried for being RINOs.

  • edith prickly

    Shorter Stephen C. Hedger: “STOP WASTING OUR FUCKING TIME, MORANS.” Asking the DoD to locate some looney-tunes windbag who called Sean Hannity and pretended to be a drone operator, FFS. Your tax dollars at work, folks!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      While Stephen signed that, I’m sure some very clever folks on his staff actually drafted it up. Probably one of those group collaboration things in which they worked really hard to say “fuck you” in delightfully subtle ways.

      I might add that Mr. Hedger probably wanted to say “fuck you!” directly, but turned to his staff and said something along the lines “we need to say ‘fuck you’ but we can’t say ‘fuck you’. Get together and figure out how we can and not get in trouble for it.”

      • limberrat

        DoD has always been awesome with their ability to subtly include how they truly feel in letters.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Yeah, when one works on a military staff, you learn how to communicate between the lines what you’re actually saying, but leave few overt traces of it in the actual verbiage.

      • nmmagyar

        Military humor at it’s best. You know they were laughing their asses off writing that response.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Prezactly. I can just imagine them brainstorming it in the conference room.

      • edith prickly

        I have some familiarity with government communications. For it to get to the point of sending a letter with “fuck you” coded all the way through it – well, I’d suggest to Trey Gowdy that he not drink the coffee at that meeting.

        • Robyn Ryan

          But it’s made exactly the way he likes his coffee…and then some….

      • Kavefish

        I’d like to see the first draft, which I would hope included all the “fuck you’s” in four-part harmony.

      • Robyn Ryan

        The best part of being in a staff job is devising new ways to tell asshats to eff off.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        When it comes to creatively telling desk jockeys “Fuck off!” and ‘Fuck you!”, nobody has more experience than the military.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        When it comes to creatively telling desk jockeys “Fuck off!” and ‘Fuck you!”, nobody has more experience than the military.
        This makes me very proud of our people in the armed services.
        *patriotic music* “flag waving” *eagle soaring* *fades to…*
        https://americanveteranscenter.files.wordpress.com/2007/04/pueblo-crew-gesture.jpg

  • roberteye

    Not just Gowdy, but I imagine Jane Sanders and that azzhat at Salon also just know this or them damn e-mails we were once so sick of hearing about will explode before the convention, and won’t those super delegates look dumberer.

  • SessileRaptor

    Somebody with more skill than me needs to take a gif of the snow globe rolling out of Charles Foster Kane’s hand and replace “Rosebud” with “Benghazi”

    • Robyn Ryan

      here….

      • Lily412

        Also:

    • malsperanza

      I don’t think one word can explain a party’s psychopathy.

      (Couldn’t decide if BW or color looked less photoshopped more authentic.)

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    What do Gowdy’s re-election chances look like.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I’m sure he’s in a nice safe gerrymandered district.

      • Arse Grammatica

        Gowdymandered

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      shoe in, of course

  • “Gowdy” means “what a hick thinks is fancy”, right? He really is Trey Gowdy.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      How gauche.

      • vivian

        Why you talking’ ’bout pumpkins?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      I hear Gomer Pyle: “G-o-oww-dy!”

  • coozledad
    • Villago Delenda Est

      I’m shocked, shocked!

      • Me not sure

        …and stunned!

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Dear Congress, you suck. Quit bothering everyone with your childish, quixotic attempts to attack your party’s political opponents via a dead horse that has been beaten so thoroughly as to be completely unrecognizable as ever having been a living creature. Leave Britney Hillary alone!

    Signed,

    All the adults in the world who are sick of your shit

    • Zango LeHoonery

      cc. Rocinante.

  • natoslug

    Dear Trey, we’re kinda busy with the endless war on terra you ‘n yer friends kicked off, so please get to the point or stfu. The next absolutely last request is going to be delivered to you personally via an AGM-114. No loves, dod.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Gowdy’s interest will taper off, about a week into November.

    • natoslug

      Or increase dramatically for another four years. As with Obama, they’ll do their best to make sure Clinton is a one-term President. And with just as much success.

      • Hey, they’ve got another 4 years to find a candidate that isn’t objectively crazy. There’s got to be one SOMEWHERE in the Republican party, right?

        • Herasmus B. Lyon

          Yeah, there is one! It’s just that she calls herself a democrat now, and is the presumptive nominee for the democratic candidacy.

          • cat cafe

            You are forgetting that this candidate is someone the RNC spent decades vilifying as a “wild eyed Saul Alinsky liberal” before pivoting to their new tactic of calling her “a Republican” (which seems to be getting some good traction, Karl Rove is nothing if not astute).

          • Robyn Ryan

            here…

          • Sakonyachen

            I don’t know if that’s very accurate, shouldn’t it say, “All women scare the GOP? Even GOP women?

          • dallasdave

            The vast majority of Democrats call her a Democrat too. Sorry whatever-the-fuck-his-name-is Paul isn’t running.

          • Yeah, she’ll switch parties ANY DAY NOW.

          • cleos_mom

            If she did, the same people who still think it’s clever to refer to her as a Republican (“lite” optional) would be whining about “flipflopping.”

            When you can’t do anything to please somebody then screw it — do what you want.

          • Bemused

            Because 45 years of working for liberal, democratic causes isn’t enough. She has to give The Cut Direct to every expensive suit she walks by on the street.

        • natoslug

          Maybe it’s time to pole Megs McCain, see what positions she takes, and whether she can stiffen up the necessary support among the GOP cocks caucus.

        • A LITtle Annoyed, Yet ARoused

          They had that in 2012, but picked the wrong Mormon. (Huntsman was fairly sane and respectable, except for his wish to get rid of the EPA and some other things). Thank doG he didn’t get the nom. He probably could have won. Although, too intelligent for their base.

        • Sakonyachen

          I’m sure there is. They call those people liberals or DINOS. They don’t get nominated anymore. The bed they made is hard to “lie” in these days.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        So, another eight years then. If Gowdy lasts that long; the Pentagon should just bury the fucker with a document dump of everything they have that mentions “Benghazi”. Let him ponder the implications of every order for paper clips and ball-point pens that ever came out of the place.

        • Courser

          Don’t forget the reams and reams of copy paper.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            Put ’em all on a pallet, and I’d be happy to drop it on him.

          • cleos_mom

            Another illustration of those predictions of the “paper free office” being so point-and-laughworthy.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Don’t bet on it. Clinton has been under continual investigation, whether by congressional republicans or Richard Mellon-Scaife/Koch/Coors employees since 1991. They aren’t going to shut down the only jobs program they’ve ever successfully instituted just because of an election.

      • malsperanza

        Depends on how many seats the GOP loses. If it’s a rout, and the House GOP majority gets thinner, they will be under a lot of pressure to play ball. Until this year they were all feeling safe, in their engineered districts.

        • bupkus23

          “Pressure” only means “persecution” to them – so the cries of their martyrdom will only add to the cacophony!

      • Sakonyachen

        They will continue investigating when she is elected because they need to find a gotcha moment for 2020,and then when she is reelected, they will need fodder for the impeachment that won’t happen. Then, when she is out of office, they will still be investigating her because reasons. When she dies, they will be investigating her still if their hatred and incompetence hasn’t already Darwined them.

  • Playonwords

    I’ve just had a lovely idea Hillary/Elijah …

    • lroom

      That would be awesome.

    • Cindyinencinitas

      I would cry.

  • Indiepalin

    Trey Gowdy and a crescendo of golden showers…

  • malsperanza

    Back in February, when I was taking a serious look at Bernie Sanders, I had one brief moment of thinking, “Well, at least we wouldn’t have to put up with eight years of the fringe loonies in the House yammering about Vince Foster and Whitewater and things ending in -gate that are not Water.”

    Of course, then I remembered that the Yammer Machine is endlessly fertile. How long would it be before they came up with some terrible thing Pres. Sanders had done? (Aside from being a Jew and a Socialist, I mean.)

    There is no shutting these people up. They are the result of super-gerrymandered districts primarying more rational candidates. The only way to get them to stop is to de-gerrymander their districts in 2020 and send them all packing.

    • SadDemInTex

      Please start with Texas! ??????? I don’t know how much longer I can take it.

      • Whollyholeyholy

        I feel for you. I moved, but to one of the redneckiest counties in Maryland, and I really miss my colorful old Houston Montrose neighborhood. Especially when I hear from smug locals how much Texas sucks. It’s a jarring irony how much easier it is to find progressives around there.

        • SadDemInTex

          But even in my rather liberal neighborhood in Dallas we have been gerrymandered in such a way that it is a big triangle with the tiny point in my neighborhood and then it goes all the way to Tyler. I hate our representative…a complete douche. The same situation exists for Austin…totally gerrymandered in such a way that a very liberal city is represented by insane right wing nut jobs

        • tinker12

          There’s a chance to turn Texassistan blue in November if Trumpet is the GOTP nominee. Wouldn’t that be loverly?

          • Whollyholeyholy

            A friend of mine tried to tell me recently that Ft. Bend County–the most ethnically diverse county in America–would vote for Trump over Clinton. I’m not buying it.

        • malsperanza

          Texas would be a handsome bluish purple if not for the insane gerrymandering.

        • mailman27

          Cecil? Wicomico? I’ve sampled both, and it doesn’t get much redder. And it’s an angry, racist shade of red.

          • Whollyholeyholy

            Fredneck.

    • Robyn Ryan

      kill it at the root.

      • bupkus23

        Now there’s a weed that just cries out for a ton of glyphosphate!

        • cleos_mom

          Or for just being flat-out pulled up by the roots.

      • malsperanza

        Koch brothers territory. :-(

    • Relativicus

      It took one day after his inauguration to determine that the declining Dow Jones was a direct result of Obama’s election. So, while I’m inclined to give Sanders +4 to +5 days for being white, you have to subtract 3 days for the whole “Jew” thing.

      Two or three days, I’d say.

    • BigHorn

      Phish may well be Bernie’s fault…

      • Sakonyachen

        Well someone finally found a way to make me regret voting for Bernie.

    • mailman27

      I live in one of the most egregiously gerrymandered districts in the whole country, (MD 1st congressional dist.) There’s not much hope for us, but still…VOTE,VOTE,VOTE1!!!11!!!!!!!eleventy!!1!!!

  • TheBidenator

    Trey Gowdy looks like the bad guy preacher from “Poltergeist II”

    • Lily412

      Hahaha! Just got through posting my own “he looks like” comment.

  • TheBidenator

    That conspiracy is unpossible, Evan….Huma Abedin is not sexing Hillary while the Muslim brotherhood who she’s an agent of was peeing on Ambassador’s Stevens corpse for everyone to have a laugh (including Obama) before they teabagged a dead marine and a dead bald eagle.

  • TheBidenator

    I don’t really need to mention just how stereotypically inbred Trey Gowdy looks, do I? I mean it’s so bad I feel like it’s similar to picking on Sean Hannity for being stupid. Actually, that’s still funny so here goes: Trey Gowdy is banjo boy from Deliverance.

    • Beaumarchais?

      Scots-Irish, so yep.

  • Lily412

    Gowdy looks like the result of leaving Draco Malfoy locked in a moldy basement for 30 years.

    • tinker12

      His head looks like a zit about to pop.

    • kareemachan

      Holy shit, you’re right! (I couldn’t make myself actually look at him until you wrote this.)

  • tinker12

    Butt, butt, Benghazi is the only thing they have in their pathetic quiver of crap to throw.

    • malsperanza

      Yes, it is going to be nonstop Benghazi and emails from July to November. I expect it to work about as well as it has worked so far.

      Honestly, at this point they could find proof that she was born in Kenya and it wouldn’t buy them squat. The only thing the GOP can really run on is the nerve that both Turnip and Sanders have hit: that there is a chunk of the working and middle class who have been completely left out of the economy. It’s a valid argument, and if it were not wrapped up in a thick, suety padding of racism and anti-immigrant hysteria (or, on the left, a fluffy padding of candyfloss), it might attract a big following.

  • going4baroque

    in other political news, to strengthen the support of her campaign by Native Americans, Hillary assured them today in a dog whistle retort to Jake Tapper in an interview on CNN, in a comment about Donald Trump “I have a lot of experience dealing with men who sometimes get off the reservation in the way they behave …”

    • Cindyinencinitas

      She’s prolly been itching to say that one for months.

  • jmk

    Do you mean to tell me that Congressman Dipshit’s fellow morans spent MY tax dollars demanding that the United States military spend its time and resources, and MORE OF MY TAX DOLLARS, tracking down some dude who claimed on fucking Facebook that he just knew that planes from his base could have made it to Benghazi in time to fix things, and trying to find “John from Iowa,” who called in to some RWNJ radio show with an equally obvious bogus claim????

    I don’t… even… can’t even… what the…?????

  • Relativicus

    I don’t think they’ll wait till just before the election. I think they’ll release their “findings” just after the convention to try to stunt the post-convention boost, which will have no effect. No effect except the Washington Post will eschew all other reporting in order to breathlessly parse the report; the NYT will report that, through unnamed sources, they’ve learned Hillary pressured the committe to give her blow jobs and tamp down the findings; Chris Matthews’s leg will have stuff running down it; and Joe Scarborough will remain an ass.

    • malsperanza

      I have reason to hope that NYT has gotten over its Hillary crap. Between Sanders and Turnip, the Gray Laydee is much chastened. Their endorsement of Clinton could not have been more impassioned.

      • Relativicus

        Yeah, but that’s how they do. They’ll play nice. They’ll say the right things. Then, they’ll jump at the first whispered innuendo of some vague accusation about an unknown crime from an “anonymous” source (Roger Stone, or some other twat whose entire career is built on slinging shit at the Clintons), and supported by quotes from unnamed insiders, advisors, and “people close to the story”.

        • malsperanza

          …on the principle of being fair and balanced. I know, they will feel obliged to cover all the nonsense. But not with the glee and venom they once showed. They have toned it way down once it finally dawned on them that Turnip could be elected. And after a few massive, embarrassing retractions.

          More disappointing is that they have not really gone after Sanders’s spoilerism much, except in the op eds. The gleeful embrace of GOP talking points etc. I hope to see that shift soon.

          • Relativicus

            I cheer for your optimism, but wallow in my cynicism.

          • Sakonyachen

            “after a few massive, embarrassing retractions.”

            I think that’s pretty much it. Everything bad they said was bullshit. It’s time for them to craftily move on and pretend they never tried to swiftboat her. They know they can’t back Trump with a straight face, and they are damned sure not gonna be part of Cruz’s success either. Trump may destroy the government with his incompetence, but Cruz, that’s the goal. Maybe if Kasich is nominated. But the party would be in such disarray they could look worse than backing Trump. In the end, Madam Secretary is gonna wipe the floor with these knobs and be Madam President. They have nothing good on her except ties to corporate America, which is a stone they can’t throw from their glass houses.

          • DustBowlBlues

            That old man should just shut the fuck up. And take your bullshit Leftist Teabagging fans with you.

    • Sakonyachen

      Won’t Scarborough remain an ass anyway? Wait, that was your point wasn’t it?

      • Relativicus

        I just like saying it.

    • DustBowlBlues

      This analysis surpasses the finest teevee pundit person. You should have your own show.

  • Walter Wellstone

    THEY’RE ALL IN ON IT… WHY CANT YOU PEOPLE SEE THAT… BENGHAZI… ARRGGH!!!11!!1!!1!1!!111!!1!!!!!!1!1

  • Me not sure

    I have it on excellent authority that a caller to the Sean Hannity radio programme named Marvin from Mars observed the whole incident with his able companion K-9, using his interplanetary electro-video space modulator. Once he is called to testify this case will be blown wide open

  • SDGeoff

    This is Evan at his best.

  • kevin rodriguez

    this is what Trey must do,
    it’s his Gowdy duty time.

  • alpoochini

    Well said. Salon has been foaming at the mouth for too long now (from an overdose of Bernie kool-aid).

    • zerosumgame0005

      grumpy old man flavor!

      • Sakonyachen

        Mmmmm! Gamey!

      • Squirrel_t_robot

        Which is:

        A freshly mowed lawn, dirty feet, and a bit of two day old body odor.

        • BeachBum

          And beer.

        • Luthe Tucker

          You forgot the slight whiff of stale urine.

  • John McLaughlin

    If nothing else Rep. Trey Gowdy does a great job of showing why Congress has such LOW approval ratings. Counterproductive^10.

  • Florida Farmer

    His face in that picture looks like those of the Nazis just as the Ark of the Covenant is opened and they all start melting. Also, I hope zombie Curt Gowdy rises up and takes his good name back from this douchebag.

  • handyhippie65

    i’ll be glad when i never have to hear the word benghazi ever again. she didn’t commit a crime. it is gowdy who has criminally wasted tax dollars, and should be held accountable for his crimes.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Absence of evidence means evidence of absence. Wait. That didn’t come out right.

    • eddi

      Absence of evidence means start making stuff up to suit one’s worldview.

  • Mimihaha

    Can we at least send him the bill for all this nonsense?

    • mailman27

      The bill’s already been paid by the taxpayers.

  • Squirrel_t_robot

    Oddly enough, no Congressional committee bothered to investigate the 9/11 attacks quite so ‘diligently’.

    Bonbon, Trey?

    • mailman27

      Oh, I believe the whole 9/11–Iraq misadventure was, in fact, investigated. In secret. NOT under oath. Once.

      • DustBowlBlues

        With Cheney holding the hand of Bush Jr. Sweet Jesus, I hate Republics. and I call them that because I get so fed up with those assholes dropping the I C from the end of Democratic. They can just lose their A N.

      • CJTX

        Hell, the 9-11 investigation itself last something like half the time this has gone on. And that was a conspiracy with like 2 dozen participants, and stretching across the world.

  • Capt.Jim

    Should have been have yourself Trey and Hillz might have let you sucked her dick once she got elected and you too could have been remembered years later

  • Jen_Baker_VA

    If your Gowdy lasts for more than 8 investigations, consult your physician.

    • Markuserektus

      He doesn’t realize his priapism is not what he thinks it is :P

      • eddi

        Trey has a stiff neck?

        • Markuserektus

          Chicken neck…

        • sw19womble

          And yet surprisingly no backbone.

          • The Wanderer

            No baculum? I thought he was a dog dick, what with that tuft of random hair on the tip – er, top of his head.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    That is one great letter. I particularly like the line in the next-to-last paragraph “. . .the risk that your final report may be based on speculation rather than a fact-based analysis.” The only things that surprise me are that someone in DoD has such an excellent command of the English language, and also knows how to write a good letter.

    • Halfton81

      Two things: Most officers (and a surprising amount of enlisted) are well educated. And any high ranking officer is practiced at telling people to fuck right off in an almost hilariously polite manner.

    • BeachBum

      I heard they actually have their own colleges to learn war and all kinds of shit!

  • cessnadriver

    Benghazi: Four incredibly brave people doing an incredibly important job in an incredibly dangerous place were killed in a terrorist attack.

    In the finest tradition of America and it’s citizens.

    Not a dupe among them. None of them was stupid enough to believe that if attacked there would be some army that could somehow materialize to protect them.

    None of them was stupid enough to believe that the United States was going to invade instantly.

    Yet, the repigs want to sully the reputations of these fine people by turning them into political clowns.

    • malsperanza

      Well, you know, this is a party that defines “patriot” as someone who attacks a federal wildlife refuge with guns, steals public land, and defaces ancient patrimony, or as someone who leads a movement to secede from the nation, make war on it, and enslave its citizens.

      They are simply being consistent.

      • eddi

        The Rebs love their country. But they hate our country.

        • phoenix00

          they love the constituion, except certain parts …..

    • kareemachan

      And let us not forget that the teabaggers wouldn’t fund for more security there, because… OBAMA!

      http://reverbpress.com/politics/gop-busted-benghazi-voted-massive-embassy-security-cuts-starting-2011/

      • DustBowlBlues

        As Hillary warned at a senate budget hearing when the Republics were cutting her money: “people will die”

        • Damian L

          Ya but what the hell does she know?

          • cleos_mom

            During the early 1990s, rumors flew about concerning her kick-ass chocolate chip cookie recipe.

        • Beaumarchais?

          “Soft-hearted woman. See?”

    • Be Gin

      Well said.

      If they cannot honor the shades of the dead at least they can STFU.

  • Walter Wellstone

    Have you guys noticed how the Military seems to have no sympathy for the Republicans? It’s like they say “Bitch, please…” every time the Republucans offer to drop on their knees and give the Generals head.

    • eddi

      As professional soldiers they have more knowledge of what war is like. And with few exceptions do not like it. They also care about the people under them despite the fact bosses are not supposed to do that according to the Rebs.

  • Rick Hill

    I hope this finally starts to open people’s eyes. The Pentagon, THE PENTAGON!! is coming out and saying to stop these investigations…can anyone not see the truth now? I mean, when Hillary Clinton can get the Pentagon to take part in the cover up then how safe are we from this woman??!!1!

    • Cindyinencinitas

      Alex Jones knows that Hitlery got to the Pentagon via secret messages and threats from the Rothschilds.

  • ForrestalMN

    I think Evan could write just as good a piece if he didn’t curse so much.

    • Halfton81

      But where is the fun in that?

      • Markuserektus

        Looks like your avatar had a bad clutch day.

        • Halfton81

          Bad fucking day all around. That’s Garlits losing a chunk of his foot.

          • Markuserektus

            Prompting him to develop rear engine dragsters…It’s unfortunate that one of the Surfers weren’t as lucky.

    • sw19womble

      Yes dear. Now don’t you have some pearls to clutch dramatically elsewhere?

      • JohnC44

        The vapors!

    • Smokahontas

      I. Have. Had. It. Up.to.HERE with all your fucking vulgarity and god Damned pandering to the uncouth, Mr. Author! Jesus fucking christ on a stick, every time I click and scroll around here its cunt this, and dick joke that, why must you go blue with your humor all the time? It’s almost like there’s some nasty, vile little snark mob lurking around who eats that shit up! You, sir, are no longer a hoofwanking bunglecunt in my estimation. Harmpff!!1!!1!!!

    • Left Coast Tom

      Well, fuck, I guess Evan never thought about how he could cut out the damn cursing. Good thing you’re here to teach his ass, isn’t it?

    • Odd Jørgensen

      You`re fucking right there. what does that dick even need to use bad words for anyways? He`s such a pussy.

  • kindness

    Obviously the plan is for the GOP to use this to IMPEACH!!!!11!! President Clinton the day after she is sworn in as president.

    • Jared James

      I can’t believe it hasn’t already been used to INPEECH President Obummer, but I guess that would not be a total win forever and ever, like Trey Gowdy just knows he can do for real, if we only give him enough time.

  • The Other Tim

    Didn’t Michael Bay put all this stuff to rest?

  • BeachBum

    I think the DOD is disgusted with the Republicans going back to GHW Bush for failing to take out Saddam when they had the chance. Dubya was just an idiot, expecting the military to create democratic/institutions/governments/police/army/economic/legal/free market systems out of literally sand and chaos. That is not the military’s job, never has been. That is politician’s job which of course Bush failed miserably.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Feldmarschall von Rumsfailed actually prohibited any planning by the Pentagon for the occupation. Instead, it was turned over to GOP hacks. Who fucked it royally up. One of the results of this is Daesh. Daesh belongs to the deserting coward, the Dark Lord, and Feldmarschall von Rumsfailed.

    • Aquaria

      Never mind that it’s illegal to murder the leader of another country without a trial or any of that.

    • xbutter

      Also the Pentagon must recall they were ordered to stand down when they had OBL cornered in Tora Bora. Cheney/Bush let OBL escape capture so they could keep up their pretext for war. So many secrets of the Cheney/Bush era that Republicans have classified top secret, no wonder they are pissed about HRC’s emails- some of which might be about THEM.

  • runfastandwin

    The world is not that lucky.

  • Malmborg Implano

    It would save money if Trey just called in regularly to Coast to Coast AM.

  • Mitch Akaboula

    Please refer to it as Bengowdy from now on.

    • cleos_mom

      Priceless addition to my vocabulary. Thank you!

  • alnnc

    You know what they say, if you want an omelet you have to break a few eggs. And to conduct a
    republican investigation the the real GOP way you have to break a few promises. And break the budget and a few ethics rules. Oh, and selectively leak some statements taken out of context and keep the minority party in the dark. Throw in a few secret hearings so the public won’t hear you make an ass out of youself like you did when Hillary made you look like smarmy overprivileged eight graders. And waste the time of other agencies like Defense and State Department, plus the executive branch. I could go on, but you get the point.

  • Be Gin

    (excerpted from the Future Wikipedia found during my recent time traveling)

    “Trey Gowdy…US House of Representatives…Benghazi “Investigation”…. defeated in 2016 election…inventor….perpetual motion machine…litigation…lawsuit brought by Donald Drumpf…. Supreme Court…3-2 split decision…”

  • NorthStarSpanx

    You know these $60,000 a year staffers with hour long commutes who jump at free food and drink at congressional receptions fancy themselves as a modern day Woodward and Bernstein, always within grasp of the smoking gun if they are empowered with just a little more muscular subpoenas!

    • Walter Wellstone

      Like Jonah Ryan?

    • Robyn Ryan

      “The Young McCarthys”. Coming to a legislature near you….

  • Beaumarchais?

    If Trey Gowdy had any balls, HE’D run for president against Hillary. But then he’d lose them. Just like Donald will.

    • Walter Wellstone

      Fuck Trump. Fuck that motherfucker.

  • J.Bo

    What the actual fuck? A guy from the Pentagon scolding a politician for wasting the taxpayers’ money? The goddam Pentagon… who get a giant-sized blank check from Congress every time they hold their palm up!?! Jeez, I can’t even…:(

    • Villago Delenda Est

      All this responding to inane requests is getting in the way of spending all that taxpayers’ money!

    • Gregory Brown

      Be grateful that the Pentagon, which has gone to war with various presidents, including the present one, and mainly won, has decided that this GOBENGHAZZZZZZIIIIIIIII!!!!! bullshit has run its course, and it is not going to look for stuff that isn’t there in order to placate someone who strongly resembles Ed Grimley.

  • Gregory Brown

    Ed Grimley, Trey Gowdy — separated at birth?

  • TrumpsAlterEgo

    Jughead

  • CripesAmighty

    “Look, we invented the Clusterfuck. We don’t have time for yours.

    Yours,
    Lt. Gen. Kafka

  • BadKitty904

    I still don’t understand why Gowdy’s head is shaped like that.

    • Mirful

      It doesn’t really matter why.
      All that matters is that we all know it is shaped like that.
      And we can only hope that he knows it, too.

    • Stein Olsen

      An unfortunate accident involving some clash cymbals.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Trey Gowdy used to be in The Clash?? Who knew?

        • sherrdbw

          Should he stay or should he go?

          • 451 Byrnes

            To rock the Casbah!

          • sherrdbw

            Only if he stays there permanently.

    • mfp

      shaped like what?…oh–you mean that ‘Q-tip freshly dipped in vaseline’ look…yeah, i dunno why

      • Robyn Ryan

        He dresses up as Ziggie Stardust on weekends…

    • wiscowoman

      FAS I do believe.

    • A Bashful Nobody

      Got it caught in a mechanical rice picker!

      • SeeTrain65

        Washed his hair then tried to wring it dry.

      • freshwaterdrum

        Fizbin!

    • chadingo

      the obstetrician tried unsuccessfully to shove him back up the birth canal for the sake of humanity

    • sherrdbw

      He looks like an ugly, baby chick.

    • Robyn Ryan

      inbreeding.

  • phoenix00

    What was the definition of ‘stupidity’ again? Something about going about doing something over and over again and expecting a different result? Given each go-around adds another layer of stupidity, how deep is this specific hole of stupidity now?

    • bobbert

      That’s “insanity”, I believe.

      • phoenix00

        oh THANK YOU.

        So yes Gowdy is insane. As if it couldn’t be more clear.

      • sherrdbw

        So sorry, I stole your reply.

    • The Wanderer

      It ranks right down there with the 666 votes the House has taken to ‘repeal and replace’ Obamacare.

    • Robyn Ryan

      Invading the mid-East from far, far away. Auto-Losers…..

      • phoenix00

        I still like the time when they marched the kids over. THE KIDS.

      • phoenix00

        I really like the one time when they marched down a bunch of kids. KIDS.

        • Robyn Ryan

          We’re shipping our kids over there…

    • sherrdbw

      I thought that was ‘insanity’? But I’ll go with ‘stupidity’.

      • phoenix00

        equally undebateable amounts of both

      • wry6read

        stupidity might be not knowing the def of insanity

  • ez

    Congressman Gowdy:
    Ahh, but the strawberries that’s… that’s where I had them. They
    laughed at me and made jokes but I proved beyond the shadow of a doubt
    and with… geometric logic… that a duplicate key to the wardroom
    icebox DID exist, and I’d have produced that key if they hadn’t of
    pulled the Caine out of action. I, I, I know now they were only trying
    to protect some fellow officers…

    • jmhm

      snort.

      The Pentagon mocked him, but Gowdy knew that the time and work hours needed to track down the talk show caller identified only as “Yellow stain in the Pacific” would be worth it when the conspiracy was exposed…

    • A Bashful Nobody

      Great book that was!

      • SeeTrain65

        “Book?”

        – Trey Gowdy

        • A Bashful Nobody

          I has forgot about the whole reading thingy.

    • Doug Langley

      Ah, that’s what was missing. Gowdy should have been grinding some ball bearings in his hand.

      • ez

        Trey was too busy being distracted by the mental image of Hillary grinding HIS balls for the ridiculous show ‘investigation’ he was conducting.

        I just remember all the talk about what a great prosecuting attorney, how he questioned suspects like Perry Mason and was going to break this thing wide open.

        Instead he was like District Attorney Hamilton Burger, a loser.

        • Robyn Ryan

          Known to his friends as ‘Ham’ Burger. Har, har, har….

  • Linda Gutierrez

    “my room mate Lori Is getting paid on the internet 98$/hr”…..!cc376gtwo days ago grey MacLaren P1 I bought after earning 18,512 DoIIars..it was my previous month’s payout..just a little over.17k DoIIars Last month..3-5 hours job a day…with weekly payouts..it’s realy the simplest. job I have ever Do.. I Joined This 7 months. ago. and now making over. hourly 87 DoIIars…Learn. More right Here !cc376g:➽:➽:➽➽➽➽ http://GlobalSuperJobsReportsEmploymentsPlansGetPayHourly$98…. .❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦::::::!cc376g….,….

    • OneDemin EOr

      Eileencocaine, the feds are coming in their red vans, you spamming bitch of the night. Flagged!

      • cleos_mom

        While I understand that a half-baked money-making scheme has to evolve over time, it is unfortunate that Linda has identified this venue as a place to promote it.

        • Mimihaha

          I’d rather read the spam than have to hear anything else about Trey Gowdy.

          • snark-lurker

            Snerker’s been up too long: we read, “…read the SPERM…” & totally spit-loled.

          • Mimihaha

            Glad to help.

  • i think it’s really unfair that draco malfoy has to constantly remind us that he’s not trey gowdy.

    • Duke

      He just needs to point out that Malfoys are evil and yet competent.

  • freshwaterdrum

    Lula has a rubber chicken? He’s clearly Brasileiro. Like this one.

  • Robyn Ryan

    I really, really miss Civil Service. They were the wall between lobbyists and legislatures. Kept legislators from filing stupid bills. We’ve lost ‘government BY the people’ to government by contractor. Time to put people to work maintaining and operating our own public property instead of hiring contractors. End privatization. Take back public property management back into Civil Service jobs.

    • Jennaratrix

      I don’t want to go too far down this rabbit hole, but government contracting is not the devil spawn you imply, and it’s significantly more complex than “give it all back to civil servants.” For starters, government employees are nearly impossible to fire, and many, many, many, MANY civil servants are drawing paychecks for doing little to nothing in the way of work (remember Kim Davis?) Government contractors are required to consistently produce deliverables and prove they are doing the job they have been contracted to do, and the mechanism for ousting a contractor (either individual or company) for not doing that job is rigorous and used fairly frequently. Contractors are required to compete for work, generally ensuring that the government is paying less for the work of a contractor than they are for a government employee. When the government shut down, government employees were furloughed, and guess who did much of the work of the government so that it didn’t come to a screeching halt? Contractors, because they had already been paid and Congress had no authority to keep them from doing their jobs or refusing to pay them. In any government office, you will see a mix of civil servants and contractors, generally working together seamlessly to make sure the work is done and done right, and there are slackers and bad workers on both sides of that divide.

  • Earlenejcarson4

    “my room mate Lori Is getting paid on the internet 98$/hr”…..!cc767gtwo days ago grey MacLaren P1 I bought after earning 18,512 DoIIars..it was my previous month’s payout..just a little over.17k DoIIars Last month..3-5 hours job a day…with weekly payouts..it’s realy the simplest. job I have ever Do.. I Joined This 7 months. ago. and now making over. hourly 87 DoIIars…Learn. More right Here !cc767g:➽:➽:➽➽➽➽ http://GlobalSuperJobsReportsEmploymentsEverythingGetPayHourly$98…. .❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦::::::!cc767g….,.

  • batteur

    The DOD official’s civil tone is clearly in tension with his urgent desire to put his foot in Gowdy’s cracker ass.

  • Jay

    “Hey, I heard some guy call Hannity, get ‘im in here.”

  • Kgprophet

    Meanwhile, this obvious witch hunt changes no minds but angers even more to vote against the Republicans this November. Great Job!

  • sherrdbw

    Poor Trey Gowdy, this job does not agree with him. Every time I see him he looks grayer and sicklier.

    • David Spencer

      He was given STRICT INSTRUCTIONS to either bring back Hillary’s severed head or face death by electrocution, and Trey Goudy did not get to be Trey Goudy by riding the lightning.

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