SHARE
Are you scared enough yet? How about now?
Are you scared enough yet? How about now?

We decided to watch part of Tuesday’s election coverage on Fox News last night, and in the middle of all the ads for prescription pills that will give you boners and make your bowels work right, this brilliant bit of agitprop from the National Rifle Association came on, featuring a terribly earnest man preaching class warfare. Or warning of it, at least. The ad, titled “Hypocrisy,” has been up on YouTube since March, but we haven’t seen it on TV previously, and as far as we can tell, its initial release was only covered by rightwing sources and gun-humper blogs. It’s really something!

The terrifyingly serious man in the suit is Chris Cox, head of the NRA’s Institute for Legislative Action (translation: lobbyist dude), intoning over a Very Somber Soundtrack about how attempts to regulate firearms are REALLY a form of class warfare against YOU: the ordinary decent American who simply wants the right to defend your home and family.

How many class resentments/fear triggers can YOU find in this script, kids?

Here’s the truth about the Hollywood celebrities, political elites, and billionaires who attack the Second Amendment. The thought of average people owning firearms makes them uncomfortable.

They don’t like how the men and women who build their office buildings, vacation homes and luxury cars — who mop their floors, clean their clothes and serve their dinner — have access to the same level of protection as their armed security guards. They want you to surrender your freedom for a false promise of government-provided security they will never rely upon themselves.

Actually, what makes a lot of us uncomfortable — and we can assure Mr. Cox that nobody at Wonkette works in Hollywood, is a political insider, or even a billionaire — is shit like this: the average Georgia family whose three-year-old somehow found a handgun and fired it into his chest, killing himself immediately. No charges have been filed. Now, it’s true that might not have happened to a rich Hollywood elitist with a bodyguard, who would probably not have left an unsecured weapon somewhere a curious three-year-old could find. So there’s your class warfare.

We don’t want to take all the guns away. But we think it would be a damned fine idea if gun owners with children were required to keep their guns locked up safely, a policy the NRA insists is an attack on the Second Amendment. God, we feel like such hypocrites for thinking children shouldn’t die for stupid reasons.

The ad closes with Cox vowing,

But no amount of money, power or fame gives anyone the right to take our freedom away. At the core of the Second Amendment is the eternal truth that no life is more worthy of armed protection than another. That’s what I believe, and that’s what I fight for. I’m the National Rifle Association of America, and I’m Freedom’s Safest Place.

“Freedom’s Safest Place” is actually the title for a whole series of videos featuring such topics as the San Bernardino shootings, not being a victim, and, of course, “The Truth About Benghazi,” a bizarre rant that has absolutely nothing to do with the Second Amendment, but sure is tough on the Washington Politicians who sat back and cackled evilly while our heroes died.

We give “Hypocrisy” a score of 3 and a half Demon Sheep. It’s got slick production values (borrowing visual cues from Koyaanisqatsi will never go out of style), pitch-perfect class-based anxiety, and finely honed paranoia. It certainly convinced us that those terrible Hollywood hypocrites won’t understand ordinary Americans until they give up their armed guards and let their little kids find a gun under the sofa cushions, like regular folks.

demon sheep 3 and half

[YouTube / Atlanta Journal-Constitution]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • bozilingus

    NRA’s Institute for Legislative Action? I thought he was a spokesman for NAMGLA – North American Man-Gun Love Association.

    • The Wanderer

      I still recall Jon Stewart describing every gun nut organization or GOP Party initiative as “better known as NAMBLA.”

  • Smokahontas

    Why just yesterday an exceedingly free mother was shot in the back while driving down the highway by her equally free two year old. Ain’t we just the freeest?

  • Callyson

    It’s really something!

    (watches video)

  • OneYieldRegular

    I thought Freedom’s Safest Place was a biological gender-specific bathroom with quite solicitude.

    • Smokahontas

      I thought it was the sanctity of the womb.

  • Anarchy Pony

    “I can hire one half of the working class to kill the other half.”
    Yeah, that’s what people concerned about class warfare think of working class gun ownership.
    The hollywood types aren’t concerned about class warfare so much as indiscriminate massacres.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      For one thing, it lowers the box office for their own fictional indiscriminate massacres.

  • Belasaurius

    wait, I’m not any of these three: Hollywood celebrities, political elites, and billionaires, so why the fuck do I want guns rightly regulated? Unless I am a billionaire and didn’t realize it.

    • Belasaurius

      which is too bad, cause I would have thrown an epic Wonkette party at my compound outside of Austin

    • Barley_Brains

      You are a “political elite” which is wing nut for “has A Education.”

  • Jenny

    I’d just like some protection from the loons who think the second amendment is the only amendment worth fighting for.

    • Blank Ron

      Why do you hate America?

  • RoyalUglyDude

    Is that the same Chris Cox who was a Congressman from Orange County and Chairman of the Securities and Exchange Commission under George W. Bush? Then fuck that guy two times with a rusty garden weasel. If it’s a different Chris Cox, once is enough.

    • dshwa

      Sorry, but my +2 Rusty Garden Weasel of Votes is currently getting resharpened after l’affair de Hastert. Cox will have to wait.

      • RoyalUglyDude

        Alright, then. A vorpal garden weasel.

        • Skadi

          Does it go “snicker-snack”?

          • The Wanderer

            No, it goes “Rizzzzzz!” as it rips your flesh.

          • Skadi

            Then it isn’t a vorpal weapon. They all go “snicker-snack” by definition.

          • Doug Langley

            Not sure what that has to do with swords, but whatever you say . . .

          • Skadi

            That’s more like it!

            And here is my proof!

            http://data.whicdn.com/images/32500373/large.jpg

            One, two! One, two! And through and through
            The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
            He left it dead, and with its head
            He went galumphing back.

        • dshwa

          Oooh, daddy wants! The wizarding fees for getting the +2 upgraded to flaming are insane, but a vorpal one…

    • doktorzoom

      Different guy. He started as an NRA flack in Illinois.

  • Hutch

    I give the ad three whore diamonds for convincing the gun nuts that reasonable regulation is class warfare and hiding the fact that the NRA is the major lobbyist for Big Gun.

    • bozilingus

      I’d lobby for Big’uns…

  • Pinkham’s Law

    Am I right to be glad I can’t hear him?

  • Spotts1701

    “No gun control! The problem is mental health is inadequate!”
    “Okay, so you support increasing funding and support for mental health?”
    “YOU JUST WANT TO CREATE A LIST OF PEOPLE WHO ARE ‘DEFECTIVE’ SO YOU CAN TAKE AWAY THEIR GUNS!”

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    I think George Clooney and his goons are hiding in my bushes waiting for me to lower my guard.

    • Sardonicuss

      Matt Damon wants your Glock.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        He can have one end of it. (The voting end.)

      • Bemused

        Neither of these gentlemen need to wait in the bushes. They should feel free to wait inside my house, you know, where-ever.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      I know, scary!

      On the other hand, I’m pretty sure Scarlett Johansen is just waiting in my kitchenette ready to mix me an extra dry martini, give me a shoulder massage and then lead me off to the bedroom.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Okay, the NRA is officially giving class warfare a bad name.

  • Belasaurius

    OT: Cruz announces iCarly as his VP pick

    • Spotts1701

      Ah, the Palin Gambit – “Look women-folk. I, the somewhat-sentient robot known as Ted Cruz have also selected a woman-type person to be my second. Therefore, because you are women and she is a woman you should vote for me.”

      • Belasaurius

        va-jay-jays gotta stick together. Oh that’s in poor taste

        • Spotts1701

          A little Summer’s Eve would clear that right up.

      • jviscont1

        Ted is just seeking a woman with strong soup can opener skills.

    • limberrat

      So is Cruz now running 3rd party or something? Why do you announce your VP pick so early?

      • Joe Beese

        Desperate to change the story from “Cruz’s last chance for a contested convention slipping away by the day”.

      • Smokahontas

        It’s a cry for attention after everyone got distracted by his lookalike…and who are still face down in their vomit buckets.

      • jviscont1

        Palin would have quit by October anyway.

    • jviscont1

      Her 1st move was laying off 50% of the campaign staff.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Wall Street splooges all over lower Manhattan at the news.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        2nd move: Ordering 50,000 Cruz/Fiorina 2016 bumper stickers, printed in China.

    • TheBidenator

      He’s just adding her shrill voice to his own shrill voice…he would have picked Palin but she loves Donny T. Sad :-(

    • The Wanderer

      Pardon me. I must go somewhere that has a good echo so I can laugh my ass off.

    • LesBontemps

      Somehow this must be good news for John McCain, because it sure as fuck is meaningless otherwise.

    • Hutch

      Quote from RedState from WMUR: “Sources confirmed to WMUR political director Josh McElveen and political reporter John DiStaso that Fiorina, who has been a supporter of Cruz for several weeks, will be the focus of the announcement that Cruz intends to make in Indiana Wednesday afternoon.”

      So Carly’s been a SUPPORTER OF CRUZ FOR SEVERAL WEEKS?!? A couple of weeks is a pretty low bar for VP consideration.

      • LesBontemps

        So far, that’s the longest anyone could stand him.

      • The Wanderer

        Hmm. Cruz is going to announce that Fiorina’s given herself to him as his love slave and the vanguard of the New Cruz Order, dedicated to the overthrow of whatever Rafael’s dad says is Evil.

        • Hutch

          Love slave AND chunky soup monger!

      • SuspectedDemocrat

        That’s several weeks longer than anyone else, isn’t it?

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        I’m guessing she was approached about this – lemme think – several weeks ago.

      • KBBaldwin

        It is Rafael Cruz and Demon Sheep Fiorna.- you didn’t really expect a high bar, did you.

    • TheBidenator

      Haha…if he ‘wins the nomination’ and we all that ain’t happening….

    • limberrat

      Yeah, and if he were to win, on inaguration day she would stab him as he is giving the oath of office and just tell Roberts to keep doing the oath with her.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      Well now that the Cruz-Kasich axis has the nomination locked up, why not?

      • Doug Langley

        Are you referring to the axis that’s flat on the ground with Trump’s tread marks on it?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Oh, great. Ms. Corporate fail then bail with millions. What an intelligent pick!

    • Smokahontas

      On the bright side, if he looks into her eyes he will turn to stone, and then we could smash him with votes AND solve our national gravel shortage! Win win win!

      • Hutch

        H/T Ray Harryhausen:

      • kareema

        I need gravel on our driveway, and I’d LOVE to think that I was driving over bits of Blobfish AND the Wicked Witch of HP….

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      …REALLY????BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

  • Joe Beese

    Those damned celebrities, elites, and billionaires! They think they’re so exceptional!

    • Spotts1701

      Yeah there was some woman on one of the stories about the White House being on lockdown saying that Obama should give up his “private security” because she doesn’t have it.
      I almost wanted to say “Yeah, and the stock market wouldn’t plunge 1,000 points if you were shot or your child were kidnapped.”

      • dshwa

        Please, it wouldn’t even make it past local news at the rate we shoot people in America.

        • Blank Ron

          ‘And on a lighter note…’

  • jviscont1

    “government-provided security” has a different meaning if you’re black and 12 y/o in Cleveland.

    • mardam422

      Hey! That blah kid in Cleveland had the same right to shoot himself as the 3 yr. old white kid in Georgia. That’s America!!

  • TheBidenator

    Guh, what a dead eyed fucker…he looks like Pat Sajack had a child with Ralph Reed

    • dshwa

      You win $5000 and a spin!

  • Political ads are so awful in a boring way; let insane auteurs direct them so those ads can be awful in a bold new way. Go full batshit!

    • bozilingus

      There must be a YouTube channel where amateurs may submit ads for their candidates.

  • limberrat

    These rich, elite people, who I Chris Cox likely am apart of, want to tell you that these elites speak down to you and patronize you. While I too am speaking down and patronizing you, it is clearly not the same thing. So hate the elites, just not me.

    • Sardonicuss

      …and stay away from the gates of my compound, or my guards will air you out.

  • TheBidenator

    “The thought of average people owning firearms makes them uncomfortable.”

    Whereas the billionaires who own the gun makers and the various manufacturers of Kevlar vests not to mention giant sporting good chains along with right wing gun toting celebrities who celebrate their love of gun sex get sexually aroused at such a thought.

    You know when you’re a multi-billion dollar lobbying shop essentially owned by like 15 people you can’t really pass yourself off as being for the common man, NRA.

  • Skwerl King

    I thought the pointing out that the White House occupier has body guards was a nice touch.

  • Lizzietish81
    • Hardly Ideal

      The only person who can stop a bad guy with a gun is the right man in the wrong place?

      • Lizzietish81

        With a gravity gun apparently

  • glasspusher

    “Show us, on the doll, where Freedom’s Safest Place is”

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Meh. He reminds me of the last car salesman I talked to who got angrier and angrier in his pitch as he realized he wasn’t getting a sale. Trying to keep civil, but just really winding up inside.

    • proudgrampa

      I had one that I walked out on, and he pleaded: “But I have two children!!!”

      Jerk.

  • Jen_Baker_VA

    At the core of the Second Amendment is the eternal truth that no life is more worthy of armed protection than another.

    So…the NRA is going to allow open carry in its offices now?

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      If they did it wouldn’t be “Freedom’s Safest Place.”

    • Or at the Republican convention?

    • Robyn Ryan

      Unless you’re female.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    If this country were serious about taking on terrorist organizations, they’d start with the NRA.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …maybe instead of worrying about the government taking all of your “penis extenders ” you can work on your “technique” instead? From what I hear it’s the motion in the ocean and not the size of the boat

    • Villago Delenda Est

      It’s how badass the boat looks.

      • doktorzoom

        It’s knowing how to speak to the little man in the boat.

        • bozilingus

          Must you speak in tongues?

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            My husband claims that is the only language it knows.

          • bozilingus

            What about ASL?

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            Especially the sign for O-K.

        • Master Contrail Program

          Charon?

          • Naytch

            You get a glimpse of the afterlife if you are doing it right!

          • Master Contrail Program

            The French call it, “La Petite Mort.”

          • Naytch

            I thought so, but i was getting confused with “The Big Sleep” !

    • Naytch

      …or the size of the swells you’re motor-boating?

    • Jordan Gray

      The penis argument. I can see the headline now: “Unarmed Man Shot Dead; Family Finds Peace In His Tremendous Cock.”

      Yeah, run with that dude. I’ll run my 7 inches, with my 2 inch revolver and Mini Cooper; no complaints yet.

      • Jordan Gray

        Correction: I do hear “owe”, but it’s usually overlooked.

  • cousin itt

    Coming This Fall

    Hypocrisy 2: The Silence of the Sheeple

  • limberrat

    “At the core of the Second Amendment is the eternal truth that no life is more worthy of armed protection than another.”

    Is it? I could have sworn it said something about “well regulated” and “militia”, then started talking about the right to bear arms shall not be infringed. I don’t recall some eternal truth about armed security.

    • Robyn Ryan

      Except for fetuses. Their lives trump those of women.

      • Jordan Gray

        Do mean when the birth of a child could potentially cause harm to the mother?

    • KBBaldwin

      Didn’t you get the memo? Those few words have been removed form the Constitution, as Jesus has admitted he goofed when writing the document. So get our your pocket Constitution and draw a line thru those words. And let us hear no more about it.

    • Jordan Gray

      You cut off valuable context. You know the part about “the people”

      Ever heard of “that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

      The same dudes wrote that too…so one could deduce that a right to life ties in to other more specifically mentioned rights.

      • CJTX

        Yeah, but the well-regulated militia bits tie in a lot closer…dummy.

        Just admit, you pick and choose the parts you like – you’ve so much as said so here.

  • Markuserektus

    Georgia and Ohio are far away from Hollywood…

  • TheBidenator

    What do we want? Guns!
    When do we want them? Now!
    :pew! pew! pew!:
    Oh my god, medic!!

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      I take some comfort in the fact that most of these fuckers could not hit the broad side of a cow, let alone a single target.
      But that comfort ends when I realize that is what they want the bullet sprayers for.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        DING DING DING DING DING

        You don’t need skill to send a hail of lead downrange.

        • Hardly Ideal

          Not much, anyway.

          I went shooting a couple times with my gun-humpin’ uncle, and the targets- both silhouette and round- had a white outer area and black inner area. According to him, police require you to land all your shots in the black area from such-and-such distance.

          • Jordan Gray

            Very enlightening.

      • bozilingus

        A little OT, but I have this idea for a business opportunity. Instead of black silhouettes for targets, make targets in a variety of colors. Then every hate group could use the one they prefer (hopefully not just black).

        • Villago Delenda Est

          High contrast makes it easier to find the target.

          Unfortunately, the real world does not resemble a firing range.

          • bozilingus

            How about this?

        • Suttree

          When I was working heavy iron down south, my HILARIOUS racist foreman tried to tell me that all of the warning signs on machinery featured black hands because they are stupid. The fact that that isn’t true didn’t dissuade him. And what Villago said below.

      • jviscont1

        If I took a misaimed bullet, I would insist Collateral Damage be engraved on my headstone.

        • Jordan Gray

          You’re so awesome!

      • Robyn Ryan

        here…

        • Treg.Brown

          Uncle Jeff?

        • Helena Handbag

          I love your diet plan. Keep showing me these pics of yours (also grandpa Jethro upthread) and I will not regain my appetite until next Sunday.

          • Jordan Gray

            You’ve been taking comedy classes too grandma?

      • Jordan Gray

        “Bullet sprayers” …”these fuckers”

        Ignorance … Bigotry

    • Jordan Gray

      Comedy is not your strong point.

  • DerrickWildcat
  • jviscont1

    Not this old canard again. Who is the likely target of an assassin, the leader of the free world or Joe Sixpack from from Poughkeepsie?

    • Hardly Ideal

      I can already hear someone saying “Y DOES OBAMA SURROUND HIMSELF WITH GUNS HURR”

      I hate to say it, but some people are simply more important than others and actually need trained muscle nearby them at all times. As much as it would hurt my family and friends if it happened, the country wouldn’t grind to a halt if some lunatic shot me one fine day.

      • Jordan Gray

        It’s almost as if you hope to be a martyr. If only the chances were as high as your imagination leads you to believe.

  • tinywriting

    I blame the media. If one of the papers or well-known websites would prominently display full-color and high-resolution photos of what a combat rifle does to a six-year old’s body we’d have gun control tomorrow. Oh, hello Wonkette!

    • Robyn Ryan

      here ya go….

      • tinywriting

        Good one!

    • Jordan Gray

      That’s called sensationalism. We’d prefer not to base decisions on emotion and sensationalism. Facts…facts are far better tools for decisions. Guns are a non-issue magnified by sensationalism.

      • tinywriting

        Not the kind of photos I’m thinking of.

  • Bitter Scribe

    We’ll crush your unions, we won’t lift a finger to stop your jobs from going overseas, and we’ll fight tooth and nail to keep from paying you one single dollar more than we can get away with. But you can have all the bang-bang toys you want.

    Signed,
    A bunch of people who are absolutely not elites engaging in class warfare

    • Jordan Gray

      Yes because a minimum wage is the root of poverty. (Insert sarcasm here). Regulation and high taxes from the left have absolutely nothing to do with corporations leaving the country. (More sarcasm)

  • btwbfdimho

    Here in Texas, not even hot dogs trust the flat-screen-entertainment-government conglomerate.

    https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/f2/49/af/f249afab4170441647013c0bc06f1b51.jpg

    • DemmeFatale

      …and my hatred of Texas, (sorry Texan Wonkers), just keeps on agrowin’!

      • Jordan Gray

        Hatred… the central driving factor of the left. Adding to the rest of their solely emotional motives.

  • Nockular cavity

    “Freedom’s Safest Place”

    Pants-shitting paranoia.

    • Jordan Gray

      False accusations on a topic you have no familiarity with. = every leftist bigot

      • Suttree

        Haha! This douche canoe has already shut down this disqus account.

        • Jordan Gray

          “Douche canoe”, now that is funny. Why are you so obsessed with my account? What are you hoping to find?

  • Robyn Ryan

    Evil women want to castrate men! Oh noes! Be afraid!

  • Malmborg Implano

    Words cannot express how profoundly uninterested I am in owning a gun.

    • Jordan Gray

      …ok, yet you spent time to tell everyone. Looking for a pat on the back?

      Don’t buy one. No one cares.

      • Suttree

        Good gawd, you petulant little fuck. You find offense in someone not wanting to own a gun. Get back to your room while you masturbate with looking at your gun.

        • Jordan Gray

          Why do you assume I’m offended. Again, this anger from you, and I’m the violent one? You keep referencing these odd sexual fantasies…it’s kind of disturbing.

  • Usedtobeyellerdawg

    And, still, the NRA headquarters is a gun-free zone.

  • Swampay

    you guys know that “the men and women who build their office buildings, vacation homes and luxury cars — who mop their floors, clean their clothes and serve their dinner” might be brown, right? You sure you want the brown people to have guns? Personally I don’t think any right should be limited by skin color, even the right to have stupid guns that you handle stupidly and stupidly kill your children and loved ones, but it seems like something you might want to keep in mind.

    ETA: of course, brown people are less likely to see your ads on Faux News, so you might be planning to keep it a secret from them that way.

    • SnarkOff

      Not just brown, but illegal!

  • hollydturner

    A 26 year old Milwaukee woman was shot in the back and killed by her 2 year old son. This story line is becoming way to familiar.

    • Smokahontas

      This just in: same story, different dateline, day ending in Y.

    • Jordan Gray

      Actually it’s not. 99.998% of citizens will not be affected by a gun.

      • Suttree

        And only 200,000 people died immediately in Hiroshima and Nagasaki, so we should let everyone have nuclear weapons. This all makes so much more sense now.

        • Jordan Gray

          Yeah, that’s…um, relevant.

          • Suttree

            It’s the argument you made about .002% of the population being affected by gun violence as a justification for everyone having guns. The number of people who have died from nuclear bombs is much less so by your logic we should let everyone have them.

          • Jordan Gray

            Never said everyone should have one; just meant the rights of many should not suffer because of few.

          • jmk

            What’s the name of your militia, sugarlump? Can I have a copy of your rules? Can I watch you drill? Can I see the training regimen you follow? Can I see your standards of operation and practice?

            Because, you see, THOSE are the characteristics of a well-regulated militia – organized, public, and governed by rules.

          • Jordan Gray

            “Sugarlump, cupcake”, you have a fetish or affinity for men.

            There’s discretion with any group such as this for obvious reasons.

            ‘Public’ to an extent; just as years ago they wouldn’t be quick to tell the British any of these things you ask. I suppose you never considered tactics.

          • jmk

            As a student of history, I KNOW that public MEANT public in the founders’ day. Militia membership lists were published. Musters were public. Drilling was public. Rules were published. Punishments for infractions of rules were PUBLIC.

            The modern fuckwits you reference are just a bunch of cowardly wingnuts playing at Red Dawn cosplay.

            And oh… is this “fetish or affinity for men” you say I have a problem for you, cupcake?

      • CJTX

        And 99.998% of them will never need guns. See the problem is gun-humpers keep saying, what if this or what if that happens. It’s far more likely you or someone you know will accidentally (or purposefully) shoot you than it is that a “bad guy” will break into your house to try and rape and kill you.

        • Jordan Gray

          You could live your entire life and never need a seatbelt, but you still wear one.

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    OT, but you may have to stop using the Demon Sheep icon. Word is Cruz has picked Fiorino as his VP. The campaign will need to repurpose those old adds.

  • Rational

    Is this the same Chris Cox who avoided any action against criminials when he was head of SEC on the run down to the 2008 meltdown?
    If so why have we heard from him ever again after being such a complete and conspicious failure?

    • Cindyinencinitas

      He’s chilling in Newport, waxing his hair and hanging out on the boardwalk.

  • Rational

    Oops wrong Cox
    SEC cox was a different fool.
    read that with straight face.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Rich fucks bamboozling poor schmucks into thinking they have a common cause?
    Sounds like the NRA was taking notes when the Kochs invented the Tea Party.

  • ArmedPatriot

    Yes, they ARE out to get your guns.
    The next time some Brady nut tells you that no one wants to take your guns away, send them here…
    =========================

    “A gun-control movement worthy of the name would insist that President Clinton move beyond his proposals for controls … and immediately call on Congress to pass far-reaching industry regulation like the Firearms Safety and Consumer Protection Act … [which] would give the Treasury Department health and safety authority over the gun industry, and any rational regulator with that authority would ban handguns.”
    Josh Sugarmann (executive director of the Violence Policy Center)
    “My view of guns is simple. I hate guns and I cannot imagine why anyone would want to own one. If I had my way, guns for sport would be registered, and all other guns would be banned.”
    Deborah Prothrow-Stith (Dean of Harvard School of Public Health)
    “I don’t care if you want to hunt, I don’t care if you think it’s your right. I say ‘Sorry.’ it’s 1999. We have had enough as a nation. You are not allowed to own a gun, and if you do own a gun I think you should go to prison.”
    Rosie O’Donnell (At about the time she said this, Rosie engaged the services of a bodyguard who had a gun permit.)
    “Confiscation could be an option. Mandatory sale to the state could be an option. Permitting could be an option — keep your gun but permit it.”
    Andrew Cuomo
    “I do not believe in people owning guns. Guns should be owned only by [the] police and military. I am going to do everything I can to disarm this state.”
    Michael Dukakis
    “If someone is so fearful that they are going to start using their weapons to protect their rights, it makes me very nervous that these people have weapons at all.”
    U.S. Rep. Henry Waxman
    “In fact, the assault weapons ban will have no significant effect either on the crime rate or on personal security. Nonetheless, it is a good idea … Passing a law like the assault weapons ban is a symbolic – purely symbolic – move in that direction. Its only real justification is not to reduce crime but to desensitize the public to the regulation of weapons in preparation for their ultimate confiscation.”
    Charles Krauthammer, columnist, 4/5/96 Washington Post
    “Ban the damn things. Ban them all. You want protection? Get a dog.”
    Molly Ivins, columnist, 7/19/94
    “[To get a] permit to own a firearm, that person should undergo an exhaustive criminal background check. In addition, an applicant should give up his right to privacy and submit his medical records for review to see if the person has ever had a problem with alcohol, drugs or mental illness . . . The Constitution doesn’t count!”
    John Silber, former chancellor of Boston University and candidate for Governor of Massachusetts. Speech before the Quequechan Club of Fall River, MA. August 16, 1990
    “I think you have to do it a step at a time and I think that is what the NRA is most concerned about. Is that it will happen one very small step at a time so that by the time, um, people have woken up, quote, to what’s happened, it’s gone farther than what they feel the consensus of American citizens would be. But it does have to go one step at a time and the banning of semiassault military weapons that are military weapons, not household weapons, is the first step.”
    Mayor Barbara Fass, Stockton, CA
    “Handguns should be outlawed. Our organization will probably take this stand in time but we are not anxious to rouse the opposition before we get the other legislation passed.”
    Elliot Corbett, Secretary, National Council For A Responsible Firearms Policy (interview appeared in the Washington Evening Star on September 19, 1969)
    “Banning guns addresses a fundamental right of all Americans to feel safe.”
    Senator Diane Feinstein, 1993
    “If I could have gotten 51 votes in the Senate of the United States for an outright ban, picking up every one of them… ‘Mr. and Mrs. America, turn ’em all in, I would have done it. I could not do that. The votes weren’t here.”
    U.S. Senator Diane Feinstein (D-CA) CBS-TV’s “60 Minutes,” 2/5/95
    “Banning guns is an idea whose time has come.”
    U.S. Senator Joseph Biden, 11/18/93, Associated Press interview
    “Yes, I’m for an outright ban (on handguns).”
    Pete Shields, Chairman emeritus, Handgun Control, Inc., during a 60 Minutes
    interview.
    “We must be able to arrest people before they commit crimes. By registering guns and knowing who has them we can do that. If they have guns they are pretty likely to commit a crime.”
    Vermont State Senator Mary Ann Carlson
    “I am one who believes that as a first step, the United States should move expeditiously to disarm the civilian population, other than police and security officers, of all handguns, pistols, and revolvers… No one should have the right to anonymous ownership or use of a gun.”
    Professor Dean Morris, Director of Law Enforcement Assistance Administration, stated to the U.S. Congress
    “I feel very strongly about it [the Brady Bill]. I think – I also associate myself with the other remarks of the Attorney General. I think it’s the beginning. It’s not the end of the process by any means.”
    William J. Clinton, 8/11/93
    “The Brady Bill is the minimum step Congress should take…we need much stricter gun control, and eventually should bar the ownership of handguns, except in a few cases.”
    U.S. Representative William Clay, quoted in the St. Louis Post Dispatch on May 6,
    1991.
    “I don’t believe gun owners have rights.”
    Sarah Brady, Hearst Newspapers Special Report “Handguns in America”, October
    1997
    “We must get rid of all the guns.”
    Sarah Brady, speaking on behalf of HCI with Sheriff Jay Printz & others on “The Phil
    Donahue Show” September 1994
    “The House passage of our bill is a victory for this country! Common sense wins out. I’m just so thrilled and excited. The sale of guns must stop. Halfway measures are not enough.”
    Sarah Brady 7/1/88
    “I don’t care about crime, I just want to get the guns.”
    Senator Howard Metzenbaum, 1994
    “We’re here to tell the NRA their nightmare is true…”
    U.S. Representative Charles Schumer, quoted on NBC, 11/30/93
    “My bill … establishes a 6-month grace period for the turning in of all handguns.”
    U.S. Representative Major Owens, Congressional Record, 11/10/93
    “We’re going to have to take one step at a time, and the first step is necessarily, given political realities, going to be very modest. Our ultimate goal, total control of handguns in the United States, is going to take time. The first problem is to slow down the increasing number of handguns in this country. The second problem is to get handguns registered, and the final problem is to make the possession of all handguns, and all handgun ammunition illegal.”
    Nelson T. Shields of Hangun Control, Inc. as quoted in `New Yorker’ magazine July 26, 1976. Page 53f
    “Our goal is to not allow anybody to buy a handgun. In the meantime, we think there ought to be strict licensing and regulation. Ultimately, that may mean it would require court approval to buy a handgun.”
    President of the Coalition to Stop Gun Violence Michael K. Beard, Washington Times
    12/6/93 p.A1
    “Waiting periods are only a step. Registration is only a step. The prohibition of private firearms is the goal.”
    U.S. Attorney General Janet Reno, December 1993
    “The sale, manufacture, and possession of handguns ought to be banned…We do not believe the 2nd Amendment guarantees an individual the right to keep them.”
    The Washington Post – “Legal Guns Kill Too” – November 5, 1999
    “There is no reason for anyone in the country, for anyone except a police officer or a military person, to buy, to own, to have, to use, a handgun. The only way to control handgun use in this country is to prohibit the guns. And the only way to do that is to Change the Constitution.”
    USA Today – Michael Gartner – Former president of NBC News – “Glut of Guns: What Can We Do About Them?” – January 16, 1992
    “I would personally just say to those who are listening, maybe you want to turn in your guns,” Representative Sheila Jackson Lee, 2012
    ” 4. Any person who, prior to the effective date of this law, was legally in possession of an assault weapon or large capacity magazine shall have ninety days from such effective date to do any of the following without being subject to prosecution:
    (1) Remove the assault weapon or large capacity magazine from the state of Missouri;
    (2) Render the assault weapon permanently inoperable; or
    (3) Surrender the assault weapon or large capacity magazine to the appropriate law enforcement agency for destruction, subject to specific agency regulations.”
    Legislation introduced in Missouri.2013 And you can repeat the exact same thing for Minnesota
    “Since assault weapons are not a major contributor to US gun homicide and the existing stock of guns is large, an assault weapon ban is unlikely to have an impact on gun violence. If coupled with a gun buyback and no exemptions then it could be effective.” NIJ Memo on a new “Assault Weapon” Ban. 2013
    “The sheriff of the county may, no more than once per year, conduct an inspection to ensure compliance with this subsection” (Warrantless searches by law enforcement?) Washington State Senate Bill 5737 (2013)
    “the state of Iowa should take semi-automatic weapons away from Iowans who have legally purchased them prior to any ban that is enacted if they don’t give their weapons up in a buy-back program. Even if you have them, I think we need to start taking them,” Iowa state Rep. Dan Muhlbauer (D-Manilla) 2013
    California Senate Bill 374 (Steinberg 2013) would expand the definition of “Assault Weapons” to include ALL semi-auto rifles (including rimfire calibers) that accept a detachable magazine. SB374 would ban on the sale and possession of ALL Semi-Auto rifles and require registration to retain legal possession in the future.
    California Senate Bill 47 (Yee 2013) would expand the definition of “Assault Weapons” to include rifles that have been designed/sold and or equipped to use the “bullet button” or similar device. SB47 would ban on the sale and possession of ALL those Semi-Auto rifles and require registration to retain legal possession in the future.
    California Assembly Bill 174 (Bonta 2013) would ban the possession of any firearms that were “grandfathered “ for possession if registered in previous “Assault Weapons” gun control schemes. Californians that trusted the State of California and registered their firearms will be required to surrender the firearms to the Government or face arrest. Passage of AB174 would make SB374/SB47 (above) into confiscation mandates.
    California Senate Bill 396 (Hancock 2013) would ban the possession of any magazine with a capacity to accept more than 10 cartridges. ALL currently grandfathered “high-cap” magazines would become ILLEGAL to possess and the owners subject to arrest and the magazines confiscated. (“High-cap” means a capacity that has been standard, that the firearms were designed for, since the 40’s–AK pattern rifles–or 60’s–AR pattern rifles.)
    “We want everything on the table. This is a moment of opportunity. There’s no question about it…We’re on a roll now, and I think we’ve got to take the–you know, we’re gonna push as hard as we can and as far as we can.”
    Illinois Rep Jan Schakowsky says assault rifle ban just the beginning, ‘moment of opportunity’ and seeks to ban handguns (2013).
    “People who own guns are essentially a sickness in our souls who must be cleansed.” Colorado Senator (Majority Leader) John Morse. 2013 (Cleansed? “Final Solution” anyone?)
    (Emphasis added in the above).
    “We needed a bill that was going to confiscate, confiscate, confiscate.” Discussion among Senator Loretta Weinberg (D37), Senator Sandra Cunningham (D31), Senator Linda Greenstein (D14) of New Jersey’s State Legislature, May 9, 2013
    “No one in this country should have guns.” Superior Court Judge, Robert C. Brunetti, Bristol, CT. September, 2013
    But nobody wants to take our guns?

    =========================

    (“From Charles Krauthammer — a conservative, but one who is distinctly anti-gun — writing in the Washington Post in 1996:
    The claim of the advocates that banning these 19 types of “assault weapons” will reduce the crime rate is laughable…. Dozens of other weapons, the functional equivalent of these “assault weapons,” were left off the list and are perfect substitutes for anyone bent on mayhem….
    In fact, the assault weapons ban will have no significant effect either on the crime rate or on personal security. Nonetheless, it is a good idea, though for reasons its proponents dare not enunciate. I am not up for reelection. So let me elaborate the real logic of the ban:
    It is simply crazy for a country as modern, industrial, advanced and now crowded as the United States to carry on its frontier infatuation with guns. Yes, we are a young country, but the frontier has been closed for 100 years. In 1992, there were 13,220 handgun murders in the United States. Canada (an equally young country, one might note) had 128; Britain, 33.
    Ultimately, a civilized society must disarm its citizenry if it is to have a modicum of domestic tranquillity of the kind enjoyed in sister democracies like Canada and Britain. Given the frontier history and individualist ideology of the United States, however, this will not come easily. It certainly cannot be done radically. It will probably take one, maybe two generations. It might be 50 years before the United States gets to where Britain is today.
    Passing a law like the assault weapons ban is a symbolic — purely symbolic — move in that direction. Its only real justification is not to reduce crime but to desensitize the public to the regulation of weapons in preparation for their ultimate confiscation. Its purpose is to spark debate, highlight the issue, make the case that the arms race between criminals and citizens is as dangerous as it is pointless.
    De-escalation begins with a change in mentality. And that change in mentality starts with the symbolic yielding of certain types of weapons. The real steps, like the banning of handguns, will never occur unless this one is taken first, and even then not for decades…. “)

    =========================

    (“”We’re going to have to take one step at a time, and the first step is necessarily — given the political realities — going to be very modest. . . . [W]e’ll have to start working again to strengthen that law, and then again to strengthen the next law, and maybe again and again. Right now, though, we’d be satisfied not with half a loaf but with a slice. Our ultimate goal — total control of handguns in the United States — is going to take time. . . . The first problem is to slow down the number of handguns being produced and sold in this country. The second problem is to get handguns registered. The final problem is to make possession of all handguns and all handgun ammunition-except for the military, police, licensed security guards, licensed sporting clubs, and licensed gun collectors-totally illegal.”

    Richard Harris, A Reporter at Large: Handguns, New Yorker, July 26, 1976, at 53, 58 (quoting Pete Shields, founder of Handgun Control, Inc. (aka the Brady Campaign)

    =========================

    (“We’re bending the law as far as we can to ban an entirely new class of guns.
    — Rahm Emmanuel

    =========================

    (“We’re going to hammer guns on the anvil of relentless legislative strategy! We’re going to beat guns into submission!
    –Charles Schumer

    =========================

    (“They will never outlaw all of your guns at once. But every ‘reasonable’ control they can impose without your resistance gives them one more bit of leverage to make gun ownership for you and your children and your grandchildren as difficult as possible.
    –David Kopel
    (he’s just saying how they plan to do it)

    =========================

    (“The most effective means of fighting crime in the United States is to outlaw the possession of any type of firearm by the civilian populace
    –Janet Reno, addressing a 1991 B’nai B’rith gathering in Ft Lauderdale.

    =========================

    (“Banning guns addresses a fundamental right of all Americans to feel safe
    –Dianne Feinsten, Associated Press 11/18/93

    =========================

    (“I don’t care about crime, I just want to get the guns.
    –Howard Metzenbaum

    =========================

    (“I do not believe in people owning guns. Guns should be owned only by the police and military. I am going to do everything I can to disarm this state.
    –Michael Dukakis

    =========================

    (“If I could have gotten 51 votes in the Senate of the United States for an outright ban, picking up every one of them… ‘Mr. and Mrs. America, turn ’em all in,’ I would have done it.
    –Diane Feinstein

    =========================

    (“If I had my way, sporting guns would be strictly regulated, the rest would be confiscated.
    –Nancy Pelosi

    =========================

    (“We’re here to tell the NRA their nightmare is true.
    –Charles Schumer

    =========================

    (“What good does it do to ban some guns. All guns should be banned.
    –Howard Metzenbaum

    =========================

    (“Nobody should be owning a gun which does not have a sporting purpose.
    –Janet Reno

    =========================

    (“We can’t be so fixated on our desire to preserve the rights of ordinary Americans to legitimately own handguns and rifles…that we are unable to think about reality.
    –William Jefferson Clinton

    =========================

    (“Waiting periods are only a step. Registration is only a step. The prohibition of private firearms is the goal.” -U.S. Attorney General Janet Reno, December 1993

    =========================

    (“Banning guns is an idea whose time has come.”
    – Sen. Joe Biden, D-Del/ Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee

    =========================

    (“Banning guns addresses a fundamental right of Americans to feel safe.”
    – U.S. Senator Dianne Feinstein, quoted by the Associated Press, November 18, 1993

    =========================

    (“I believe all handguns should be abolished”
    – Senator John Chafee in The Associated Press, January 9, 1997

    =========================

    • Hardly Ideal

      If you want people to see your point, you should really try and express it in less than 3,003 words.

    • Delu

      Which one of these guys have successfully passed gun banning policy the way “gay banning” policies (the “I can be a bigot because religious freedumb!” laws) have been enacted by Republicans?

      • Jordan Gray

        Name a “gay ban”

    • Suttree

      Go start your own fucking blog with that rant. Asshole.

    • SnarkOff

      Too long, didn’t read, get out of here.

    • doktorzoom

      Look, mommy, there was a spammer, but now it’s gone!

      • SnarkOff

        THANK YOU. Can you plz make Jordan Gray disappear too? Christ, what an asshole.

        • SeeTrain65

          Seconded.

  • ArmedPatriot

    Crickets from Brady scum…

    (“CDC: ACCIDENTAL POISONING DEATH 51 TIMES MORE LIKELY THAN ACCIDENTAL SHOOTING DEATH

    The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) death statistics for 2010 show that Americans are 51 times more likely to die an accidental poisoning death versus an accidental shooting death.
    The raw figures show there were 600 accidental shooting deaths in 2010, yet there were 30,781 accidental poisoning deaths in that same year. There were 554 accidental shooting deaths in 2009 vs. 31,758 accidental poisoning deaths and 592 accidental shooting deaths in 2008 vs. 31,116 accidental poisoning deaths.

    Moreover, the CDC shows that Americans are approximately 10 times as likely to die from accidental suffocation vs. an accidental shooting and almost 6 times more likely to die via accidental drowning (non-boating related) than accidental shooting.

    http://www.breitbart.com/big-government/2014/10/08/cdc-accidental-poisoning-death-51-times-more-likely-than-accidental-shooting-death/ “)

    • Butter Battle Pacifist

      Woof. I’m glad I don’ have to invite you over for Thanksgiving every year. You must be exhausting.

    • Suse

      “Only a man who carries a gun ever needs one.” – Angel and the Badman (1947), starring John Wayne

      • Jordan Gray

        I only find a need for a wrist watch while wearing one.

    • Hardly Ideal

      That’s awful, but I’m not sure how it works as an indictment against keeping guns away from kids.

    • Spotts1701

      You forgot the spoons analogy. You can’t be a true ammosexual crackpot without making a crack about we should outlaw spoons and cars and baseball bats because those kill people too.

      • SnarkOff

        We should totally outlaw sporks though.

        • Suttree

          Sporks are heretical to my standards of cutlery!

          • Suse

            The big ones are handy for spaghetti.

          • Suttree

            I mean the crappy plastic ones that the Popeyes Organization gives you for those terrible red beans and rice that they make.

    • Delu

      Yes and because there are other things which kill Americans more than guns, guns are a-ok, no new regulations required!

      BTW more Americans die every year to mass shootings by fellow Americans than to ISIS.

      And yet ISIS is more of a worry than fellow Americans with guns????

      • Hardly Ideal

        And don’t forget that we’re the only developed nation with such a gun problem. That’s not a great way for America to be Exceptional.

        • Delu

          Your Trump problem is more of a worry to me than that actually.

        • Jordan Gray

          0.002% death rate is quite exceptional considering the outlandish number of guns that we own.

          • Suttree

            Yeah fuck those 30,000+ people who die by the gun each year in the U.S. They obviously just didn’t have enough guns.

          • Jordan Gray

            2/3 are suicide, and 30-50% city to city are gang related. Know your statistics, and watch your language.

          • SnarkOff

            Shypixel, please come banhammer this annoying thing.

          • Jordan Gray

            Yes, just silence those who disagree with you.

          • jmk

            The piece of shit organization to whom you’ve obviously sacrificed your humanity and common sense is one of the most powerful lobbies in the country.

            Silence? If only.

          • Jordan Gray

            “POS” because you don’t agree with them. = bigotry

            Preserving my right to life is quite humanitarian. Agreeing with the founding fathers of our nation is quite sensical.

          • jmk

            No… piece of shit because they have funded and supported the hijacking of the Second Amendment and are complicit in the deaths of hundreds of thousands of Americans since they stopped being a legitimate voice for gun owners and turned into the detachable penis fan club.

            The founders were VERY clear in all drafts of the amendment, and in its final version – the right exists in the context of a well-regulated militia.

          • Jordan Gray

            …consisting of “the people”. You keep jumping over that part. Well-regulated, again, simply means of good working order. There is no government involvement, the whole idea is to protect from government.

            They’ve simply kept up with increasingly oppressive political climate; if not, then their membership base of 5,000,000 would surely drop off; reflecting their disconnect with the overall opinion of the people; however that hasn’t happened; they’ve only disconnected from your views. Do you feel left out?

            Penis obsession…there it is again. All the female gun owners are just walking around with detachable penis’ in their purses; surely they’d all agree with you.

          • Hardly Ideal

            In case you forgot, you’re in OUR house, and we’re under no obligation to put up with your milquetoast trolling.
            https://xkcd.com/1357/

          • Jordan Gray

            Trolling requires one to be disingenuous in their approach. Hard to believe YOUR house is entirely homogenous in ideals; people will disagree.

          • Jordan Gray

            2/3 are suicide, and 30-50% are gang related city to city. Know your facts and watch your language.

            So much hate and anger from the left who accuses the right of it so frequently.

          • Suttree

            I am well aware of the statistics asshole. Yes there are a lot of gang related shootings, but it is generally people like you who fondle their guns so much and stroke them long a hard who go out and kill a dozen people because you feel like your being oppressed or your precious guns will be taken away or you lost your safety blanket somewhere or you are just a giant fucking douchebag. And where the fuck do you think that you are commenting? Watch my language? This is Wonkette you ratfucker. Go blow a goat.

          • Jordan Gray

            Actually they’re generally young men from single-mother households who lack values. Values like being polite to people and not speaking in profanities.

          • Suttree

            I don’t own a gun so I can say fuck you all I want. You have gotten very boring at this point, so go back to Breitbart or Stormfront or some NRA chatroom. I bid you adieu.

          • Jordan Gray

            You seem quite interested. I’m not as interested as you as talking to a sounding board where you’re never contested.

          • jmk

            Bigots like you, whose bland acceptance of other people’s unnecessary deaths, lickspittle spewing of NRA talking points, and baseless and judgmental comments about “single-mother households who lack values” are actually spewing TRUE obscenities, and you deserve no politeness or courtesy.

            So fuck the fuck right off and when you get there, fuck off some more.

          • nightmoth

            So, suicide by gun is okay? But not by hanging or poison? “Oh, she killed herself, but it’s okay because she used a gun.” WTF are you trying to say? Stats show that yes, indeedy, people with guns in the household are more likely to kill themselves or a family member, than people without guns. Do you only object to deaths from guns used by people whom the dead did not know personally?

          • Jordan Gray

            People who drive cars are more likely to be injured by a car. Suicides are suicides, if not a gun, then they would carry out their mission by a number of easy options. They scare off attackers very well also; no shots required. What’s with the “venison pride”, you’re the 2nd to pridefully state you that you eat deer. Is that a Canadian thing? Am I to be impressed? Is that a statement of manhood? Are we going to compare flannel shirt collections now?

        • Jordan Gray

          Whatever you do, don’t look at South and Central America.

          “Not those facts, only these facts!”

      • Jordan Gray

        Regulations that are proven ineffective against gun violence? Or by regulation do you mean all-out confiscation?

        Because ISIS does not have an overwhelming presence in the U.S.

        Mass shootings account for less than 1% of firearm deaths. The entire toll, excluding suicide and gang violence, accounts for 0.002% of our population, so yeah we’re more concerned with an openly terroristic organization. I’ve never been worried about my fellow Americans with guns; they’re some of the most polite and approachable people.

        • jmk

          30,000 people a year die from guns.

          Thirty thousand.

          That’s thirty thousand families who will never see their loved ones again because some fuckwit felt the need to puff himself or herself up bigger to deal with their own fears.

          And don’t tell me that suicide accounts for a chunk of that number as if that makes it OK. It doesn’t.

          Suicide is, for most people, an impulse. A gun eliminates the chance of surviving that impulse. People who do NOT have easy access to the means to commit this impulsive act SURVIVE. People who live in homes in which guns exist DO NOT.

          For an interesting examination of how making it more difficult to access the means with which to commit suicide WORKS to address it, read up on how changes to the packaging of paracetamol drastically reduced suicide rates in the UK.

          • Jordan Gray

            Omitting suicides is inconvenient to your argument, yet valid. Even President Obama could not dismiss this.

          • jmk

            I DON’T omit suicides, creepshow.

            They’re not “inconvenient to [my] argument,” whatever that means, asshat – they PROVE my point.

          • Jordan Gray

            “don’t tell me that suicide accounts for a chunk of that number”

            It doesn’t make suicides OK, but it cannot reasonably be lumped in with gun violence. Which is what you’d like to make your argument appear stronger; thus being inconvenient.

            “Creepshow”- ironic considering your creepy pet-names for another man, but at least you’re moving on from that episode

    • Suttree

      We do have products around our houses that are poisonous. To clean the bathroom, or gas up the lawnmower, or thin paint. A lot of them are poisonous, but useful. The only use of a firearm is to kill things. I have accidentally gotten gasoline in my mouth before and it didn’t kill me. I’m still here because I have yet to catch an “accidental” bullet to the chest.

      • Jordan Gray

        You’re still here because of the statistical improbability of being shot; gun in the home or not. Guns are a non-issue.

        You’re also mistaken; guns are designed to stop bad people quite effectively; often times without being fired.

        • Suttree

          You know what else is statistically improbable? Being stabbed. But I was mugged and got stabbed 15 times but I’m still here. If I was shot 15 times I wouldn’t be here because a gun is a tool to kill. I’m not saying take away all guns, I’m saying you should be registered and tested in order to own one. I like the insurance idea also. And if your leave your fucking gun out and your kid kills him/herself/ their friend, you should go to jail for manslaughter.
          ETA: I like your new disqus account. Did you already get banhammered with the other one? Asshole. Sorry weak ass punk who needs a gun to feel like a man asshole.

          • CJTX

            Dude – I hope you’re okay…that’s tough stuff. But you’re 100% right.

          • Suttree

            I’m fine. Some nerve damage but I got really lucky and made it through alright. I still have no desire to purchase a gun to jerk off with for self defense.

          • CJTX

            I’m glad to hear it…that’s fucking terrifying. I want to call 911 when I get a hangnail. I just can’t imagine.
            Best wishes from out my way…

          • Jordan Gray

            Suttree, I am curious to the circumstances of your event. 15 of anything is indicative of crimes of passion or rage.

          • Suttree

            Or a fucking crazy crackhead who I fought off until he planted the knife in my stomach and held it there. And I still don’t need a gun to feel safe. Because I’m not a pussy.

          • Jordan Gray

            15 times? Did you not pay him for crack?

          • Jordan Gray

            Who says he 100% right? “I was stabbed 15 times, if it was gun I would’ve been shot 15 times.” Yeah, OK.

          • CJTX

            Because, real or hypothetical – being stabbed 15 times give you a better chance at surviving than being shot fifteen times. Yikes…you think a firearm is a goddamn spork, don’t you?

          • Jordan Gray

            You’re looking into a crystal ball and assuming he would have definitely been shot 15 times. Watch your mouth.

          • CJTX

            Fuck you and your condescending, murder-loving bullshit. Troll. You love violence and therefore qualify as a sexual sadist…good to know!

          • Jordan Gray

            The instant character attack. “Sexual sadist” that’s a new one. You’re so angry; you can’t make a statement without profanity; if anyone is inclined to violence it’s you. I’m completely opposite; I don’t promote violence and am inclined to deescalate confrontations.

            I’m lead to believe you are not endowed with the right to own a firearm. Is this true?

          • I AM R U

            Yeah, I live somewhere that doesn’t have easy access to guns – I mean, if you really want one you can get one, it’s just not as easy as the US. I’ve thought about all the times I’ve been threatened and attacked with a ‘weapon’ – knives, crowbars, a wrench once… If they’d been guns, I think my chances of surviving would be far less and my injuries are worse than merely a couple of very faint scars…

          • Suttree

            I’m sorry those things happened to you. I don’t understand why so many people are such terrible human beings. I’m covered with scars that keep getting a little bit fainter each year. The only difficult part is the memory.

          • I AM R U

            I’m in a really good, safe environment now, but I do often wonder if more of the people who’d hit me and cut me and hated me had had guns, would I be alive right now? It’s purely hypothetical, but still. Thoughts for dark nights.

          • Suttree

            I’m glad to hear that you are safe now. I understand that these thoughts stay with you for a long time. It was almost 12 years ago that I had that terrible experience and I still live with it almost every day. I suffer from nerve damage and have to consistently remind my lover to be careful when she is touching my right side because it is so tender. I still believe that a large portion of people are good though. And the nightmares get fewer and farther in between. Just keep being a good person and it will work out. HUGS!

          • I AM R U

            Same to you <3 It was just about 11 years ago for me now, and thankfully I don't have ongoing physical trauma from it. Wishing you all the best!!!

          • Suttree

            Thanks darling! I wish you all the best too!

          • Jordan Gray

            Are you allowed to defend yourself with one, or simply own one?

          • Jordan Gray

            You could perhaps read the law:

            Virginia code § 18.2-56.2 […] unlawful […] to recklessly leave a […] firearm in such a manner as to endanger the life or limb of any child […]

            Banhammered? No, this is my one and only. What’s with the anger and personal attacks? Manhood: the ultimate delusion of the left, as if it matters; and completely blown away when a woman carries. Is she a weak ass punk who needs a gun go feel like a woman?

            Registration is of no effect on gun violence and only allows for confiscation. Testing is senseless; mental disorder is not the killer.

          • Suttree

            I also said gun insurance is a wise idea.

          • Jordan Gray

            I don’t see a problem with insurance; replaces guns in the event of theft, and can aid in legal and medical expenses in self defense cases. However I don’t see how it would curb violence.

          • Suttree

            I also think that if your gun is stolen, and wasn’t in a locked safe, and it was used to kill some, that you should be charged with manslaughter.

          • Jordan Gray

            What about the person who actually committed the homicide? That’s pretty ridiculously harsh to me; you can be equally charged if someone stole your car and did the same; would you be OK with that? I feel a bias towards gun owners to the point of social inequality; your intent does not seem objective. Quality safes are expensive; you’d be imposing a great expense on people and it would be a roadblock to a unalienable right.

          • Suttree

            A car is not a gun, and however many times you want to try and make them equitable, they are not. A gun is a tool for killing and if you own one you should be responsible for it. If you can afford guns you can afford a safe. Unalienable right? Are you in a well regulated militia? Take your stroking fantasies elsewhere.

          • Jordan Gray

            Well-regulated: proper working order, calibrated correctly, functioning as expected.

            Militia: when properly formed, are in fact the people themselves, … all men capable of bearing arms

            Actually I cannot afford a safe, so you’re assumption is false.

        • SnarkOff

          Oh, shut the fuck up.

          • Suse

            Yeah!!11!

          • Jordan Gray

            Yeah! High fives and stuff!

          • Jordan Gray

            That’s productive.

        • Tansy Geek

          I don’t know what kind of neighborhood you live in son. It does sound scary. Round here, guns are for stopping turkey from not being on the lunch menu and deer from not being venison stew.

          • Jordan Gray

            Even more uses. Thank you for supporting my point.

          • Tansy Geek

            You are truly lacking in the brains department aren’t you? That’s a rhetorical question, dear. You’re a low level ammosexual troll, it goes without saying. But I’ll say it anyway just to get under your skin. Cmon give me a pithy rejoinder, Mr I’m rubber and you’re glue. It won’t matter. You won’t even make the Deleted Comments of Week. So sad.

    • SnarkOff

      You people are so. Fucking. Tiresome.

    • CJTX

      Yeah, just as I thought…if you dig into it – yes the CDC counts 606 accidental discharges of firearms as the cause of death.

      BUT – those obfuscating fuckwads at breitbart managed to omit the number of suicides by firearm: 19,392, which is more than the number of suicides by “other means”.

      They also omit the number of murders by firearm:11,078, which is more than twice the number of homicides by other causes.

      Get this: the number of firearm caused deaths by “legal intervention”: 412

      Finally, here’s number of injuries cause by firearms: 31,672. That’s second only to drug-related deaths and above alcohol related deaths.

      So, total all that up. That’s 30,470 deaths caused by firearm, and 62,142 people in 2010 either killed or injured by firearms.

      Definitely not 600 times, you asshats.

      Besides, poisons do stuff beside kill people – they clean and disinfect, they get rid of pests, etc. Weapons are made for one thing and one thing only – death.

      See table 2, page 19.

      • Jordan Gray

        Suicides, because there is no other vehicle readily available to accomplish that mission.

        • CJTX

          No, there’s plenty – but as usual – guns are the most effective way to end a life. And taking your logic further – how many suicides were there using poison vs. using guns?

          • Jordan Gray

            How much wood could a woodchuck chuck? Who cares? It’s a suicide which is of no threat to you; it’s a filler for the left to help push their point.

          • Hardly Ideal

            “PFFF Who cares about suicide, not ur problem”

          • Hardly Ideal

            (Jordan Gray has upvoted your comment: “PFFF Who cares about suicide, not ur problem”)
            That wasn’t a post of agreement, Quick Draw.

          • Jordan Gray

            Irony…pass it on.

  • Butter Battle Pacifist

    This is like a Funny Or Die sketch.

  • alnnc

    “Now, it’s true that might not have happened to a rich Hollywood elitist with a bodyguard, who would probably not have left an unsecured weapon somewhere a curious three-year-old could find.”

    Unfortunately, it’s nearly impossible to come up with a scenario about guns that has not happened in real life.

    http://www.rawstory.com/2016/04/wisconsin-mom-shot-and-killed-from-back-seat-by-2-year-old-son/

    The mother of a two year old was shot by the child while she was driving. Apparently, her security guard boyfriend left his gun in the car. But it does not look like she was a rich Hollywood elitist.

    • BosGrl

      Her 1 y/o and her mother were also in the car. No car seat for the “shooter” who apparently scooped up the gun after it slid into the back from under the driver’s seat. Fuck you, NRA.

      • Jordan Gray

        Yes the NRA is to blame for an individual’s negligence. That makes sense.

        • BosGrl

          You have here an idiot who left a loose gun in a car. The boyfriend is criminally responsible for the death IMO but I curse the NRA because they are the proximal cause of all of these senseless deaths at the hands of children because they (the NRA) promote gun culture and the idea that the guns themselves are secondary. They are not.

          • Jordan Gray

            Then I curse car manufacturers for vehicular deaths, and curse homeowners for having pools in their backyards (the more prominent contributor to child deaths).

          • BosGrl

            Cars = transportation; pools = swimming; guns = death, they have no other purpose. This is a useless argument.

          • Jordan Gray

            Guns = stops bad people, 75% of the time without firing a shot. Useless to someone intent on bigotry.

  • Zhu Bajie

    Aren’t most of the terrorists in the USA gun nuts running amok?

    • Jordan Gray

      They crash planes into buildings, armed with box cutters.

      • jmk

        No, sugarcakes, they shoot and terrorize doctors, or blow up Planned Parenthood clinics, or take over perfectly inoffensive wildlife refuges, or run federal agents off of federal lands, or shoot up churches because the worshipers are black, or shoot neighbors because they’re Muslim.

        • Jordan Gray

          So 9/11 doesn’t count?

          They also hack people with a machete in an Ohio pizzeria.

          I like how activism by white people is terrorism; referring to successfully driving off federal agents; gives me warm and fuzzies.

          • jmk

            Activism????? ACTIVISM???? Activism bombs clinics, shoots doctors?

            That you would refer approvingly to the would-be terrorists of Y’All Qaeda as “successfully driving off federal agents” demonstrates that you’re a racist and treacherous lover of terrorist scum.

            Take your traitor ass out of here, bigot.

          • Tansy Geek

            I have to get up earlier. The trolls are earlier risers here in the non-comments of Wonkette. This one is a special princess of tedium.

          • Jordan Gray

            There were no shots fired. They peacefully stopped the overreach of government to private property. If you mean traitor to tyranny, then I guess you’re right.

          • Tansy Geek

            Tim McVeigh was an activist? Sure, and I am Boudeccia the Queen of the Celts. And you must be the ghost of William F Buckley.

          • SeeTrain65

            And again, a hearty congrats for pointing out one person in Columbus, Ohio with a particular beef against another person because of his faith. No terrorist ties between either party, and no common sense on your part. Not hard to realize why you hide behind your Disqus account. Do be fucking right off now.

    • jmk

      Yes.

  • Kooolest G

    “we can assure Mr. Cox that nobody at Wonkette works in Hollywood”
    does that include commenters? because I actually do work in hollywood. I’ve been doing my part to destroy the moral fabric of america and push the gay agenda for 25 years now. While far from a billionaire, I do sometimes come across the hollywood elites that real america is obsessed with/despises and here’s the real truth about hollywood celebrities, none of them go everywhere with “armed security” most of them travel with a personal assistant and maybe a driver. When they do the “stars- they’re just like us” thing in the tabloids do you ever see an armed guard with them? the only celebrities who have armed security are the rappers and I don’t think they’re out there crusading for gun control

    • cat cafe

      Yes, me too, and this is 100% correct. Most celebrities actually just, you know, hop in their cars and drive wherever they want to go. Which can actually lead to cool moments, like me driving down the street I live on (uneventful small street in Hwd Hills), waiting to turn left, someone turns right onto the street, so we come abreast, him and me and it’s BRAD PITT, wut??? (he owns a house somewhere in the nabe). Brad is cool in aviator sunglasses, I have a facial expression I can only describe as “bovine.”

      I’ve worked in Hwd for 30 years and have worked with or run into everyone and anyone, and yeah, 0.0% “bodyguards.” Even the rappers don’t drive with bodyguards, you see them cruising in their Bentleys or whatever. Or in Nordstrom. Seriously, sat next to Pharrell in the shoe department. No one says a thing.

      Best sighting this week is my husband’s, Dupar’s in Studio City, there’s Kareem at the pie counter. And yeah, no one’s bugging him, and zero bodyguards. He’s just getting some of that sweet boysenberry goodness, just like you and me. Only a bit taller.

      • Jordan Gray

        Aren’t celebrities fun!? Yay!

  • JParkerSD46

    Thank you SOOO much Mr. NRA. If it weren’t for you, we’d never have known the eternal truth of the Second Amendment. “Well-regulated militia?” Bullshit! The Second Amendment is really all about ignorant idiots being able to get same kind of weapons that Mel Gibson, Chuck Norris or any rich dick have. “Murica saved! Who knew?.

    • Jordan Gray

      If you want to see an ignorant idiot, just look in the mirror friend.

      • SnarkOff

        That’s productive.

        • jmk

          As an ammosexual, it’s all he’s got.

          You know… aside from being a dick and worshiping a dick substitute.

          • Jordan Gray

            I’ve got facts and the strength not to base decisions on emotion. Yeah, it’s only 7 inches, but has been sufficient so far.

          • jmk

            I’ve read your gunge. You have zero facts and are nothing more than a pants-crapping ammosexual.

          • Jordan Gray

            What good are facts to a crowd of bigots? The ones shouting, “No, not those facts, these facts!”

            How about the alarming rate of gun sales, yet absence of a corresponding increase in violence. More guns didn’t equate to more crime? That’s odd.

          • SeeTrain65

            Congrats, Jordan! Stay tuned on Sunday when our very own Doktor Zoom writes a special article all about you!

        • Jordan Gray

          You’re original.

          • Tansy Geek

            I know you are,but why am I? to infinity,no tag backs.
            That’s how you sound.

          • Jordan Gray

            To a child.

          • Tansy Geek

            Asking for the Banhammer due to extreme stupidity.

  • I AM R U

    Do Hollywood types, celebrities etc actually go around with armed security protection? Because I didn’t think the average celebrity body guard was armed…

  • clubseal

    That part about the “core” of the second amendment seems a bit spurious … at best. I always thought the core of the second amendment was that the government wanted the poor souls sent off to defend the empire to be able to shoot straight, so they should be able to practice shooting things in the backwoods. My level of cynicism is possibly catastrophic, however.

    • Jordan Gray

      Did you read it? It’s pretty short.

      • jmk

        It’s not all that short, cupcake. There are two clauses, not just the one you jerk off to.

        • Jordan Gray

          What’s with these male sexual fantasies? Anyway, you’re wrong; the more you read into the history of the 2nd amendment the more strength it has for people like me. “Well-regulated, militia”, “the people”, very awesome in its entirety. Clear, simple, straightforward, and hated by leftists; prevents them from forcing their opinion on others.

          • jmk

            Oh, are you bothered by these “male sexual fantasies,” sugarlump? Are you attempting to imply something about me by referencing them?

            Your ignorance about the amendment you fap to is laughable. The originally-proposed language, and all of the discussion around the Second Amendment make it excruciatingly clear that it is meant to guarantee the right of the people to form well-regulated militias.

            The initial language is incredibly clear about that – “The right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed; a well armed and well regulated militia being the best security of a free country but no person religiously scrupulous of bearing arms shall be compelled to render military service in person.”

            But of course, why would you care about facts when you can whine about people “forcing their opinion on others” by referencing them.

          • Jordan Gray

            I believe you just proved yourself wrong. Your reiteration doesn’t line up to your citation. You seemed to skip ahead and missed the part between ‘people’ and ‘shall not’.

            Bothered by you being a homosexual? Nonsense. Just acting a bit odd; I don’t believe you’d be addressing me in the same fashion in…so it makes it hard to take you seriously; especially after you just contradicted yourself.

          • SeeTrain65

            Dok, Jordan’s shitting on the furniture again.

          • Tansy Geek

            So you get to force your opinion on other people instead? The opinion that the everyone needs immediate access to a loaded gun just in case a scary person is hiding in the bushes? I for one I’m more scared of getting accidentally shot by a idiot who does’t know how or when to use a gun or a lunatic with a grudge or simply a whim. Register,train, and secure firearms or STFU.

          • Jordan Gray

            Force with what? A “STFU” from my corner? More of a defensive role from tyranny that you seemed to have missed; tyrants who like to silence those who oppose them; Hitler, to name one. No, I don’t believe everyone should have a gun; people like you, for example, with an irrational fear of guns; not the best candidate. Securing and training are the responsibility of the individual. How will registration keep you safe? Why not just come out and say confiscation?

            Yeah? “STFU or jump on our bandwagon!” There goes that Hitler vibe from this group.

          • Tansy Geek

            I’m pretty sure was more DIAF than STFU, but I should know better than to poke the trolls. It’s just the self righteous ignorance really galls one. And we’re back to I know you are but what am I. Go find something useful to do like huff gas.

          • Jordan Gray

            Or you could answer the question.

  • theblackdog

    *looks at the demon sheep pic*

    Prince Asriel Dreemurr, is that you?

    • Hardly Ideal

      Not nearly enough prismatic death for that, but their attempt at looking scary fills you with Determination.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Of course the NRA is the safest place. They don’t allow guns in their headquarters.

    • Jordan Gray

      They actually have a gun range on-site.

  • SeeTrain65

    Tell the truth: This video was made in 1948, right?

  • doktorzoom

    Thread sprayed with Troll-B-Gon again.

    • SnarkOff

      It isn’t enough to kill the trolls, you know. You have to kill their eggs.

Previous articleDenny Hastert Going To Actual-Factual Prison For Covering Up How He Molested All The Boys
Next articleDelicate Flower Donald Trump Has The Vapours From Hillary Clinton’s Unladylike Shouting