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And then they kissed forever.
And then they kissed forever.

Oh. My. God. Becky. Did you SEE how sexxxpot Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is visiting Barry Bamz Also The Sexpot Obama at the White House of U.S. America? Did you immediately faint as you witnessed what Canadian-American relations could really look like? Did you read “relations” just now and have a sex thought? Are you praying to your chosen deity that Barack Obama and Justin Trudeau will build a North American superhighway INTO YOUR PANTS?

Oh beautiful for spacious skies, terre de nos aïeux … what were we saying?

Anyway, when Trudeau got to the White House, after he and Obama gazed into each other’s eyes for an eternity, they addressed the less sexy commoners gathered at their feetses:

obamajustin5

As fans excitedly waved both the USA and Canada flags, Obama marveled: ‘I’ve never seen so many Americans excited by a visit from a Canadian Prime Minister’.

Both men smiled as they shared the stage, but the president was quick to throw in some good-natured ribbing – asking Trudeau: ‘Where’s the Stanley Cup right now? In my hometown’. ‘

But Trudeau was just as fast, noting that three of the best players on the Chicago Blackhawks , who won the NHL championship last year, were Canadian.

Awww, we love it when they flirt about hockey.

They did talk about serious/boring things like how climate change is real (as if), but Justin likes it when Barry talks smart-like, as you can see from this picture:

obamajustinclimatechange

At some point during the day, Obama and Trudeau (which, internet fact, some people are calling #TruBama) took a quiet walk together, and Trudeau tweeted coyly about the “special relationship” between the U.S. and Canada. Is THAT what the kids are calling it these days?

trudeautweet

Here is a picture of the gay newlyweds of our dreams cooing over the beautiful baby they stole from some bystanders.

obamajustin2

And here’s a closer-up shot of the same two men and the same adorable baby. Y’all.

obamasouza

Now, to be thorough journalists, we will also point out that Justin Trudeau brought his wife Sophie Grégoire-Trudeau, who is also very sexy, to meet the beautiful American First Lady of Our Hearts Michelle Obama. Here is a picture of them laughing cattily with each other about how the whole Amero-nadian continent may be swooning over their husbands, but guess who gets to do all the sex to them later? THEY DO. “Who rules their worlds?” asked Sophie. “GIRLS! US GIRLS SPECIFICALLY!” replied Michelle.

michelletrudeau2

Then Michelle and Sophie went off and did their own badass things together:

michellesophie

We are sorry to all the other countries in the whole universe right now, as we and our pal Canada are completely bogarting the Hot First Couples. We would share them with you except how we don’t want to. They are ours, and you can get your own, you stupidheads.

At the end of the day, the Trudeaus moved into the White House and Obama declared him ‘n’ Justin sexxxy dictators for life and U.S. America and Canada were like “OK your place or mine?” and they said, “Both, obviously,” at which point the entire western hemisphere died of orgasms, the end.

obamastrudeaus

[Daily Mail]

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  • hollydturner

    Can these two couples be any sexxxyyyiiieerr.

  • timpundit

    Oh Canada meets Oh Bama.

  • FlownOver

    Even better when you consider it could have been Mitt Romney and Stephen Harper (it could not have been).

    • MarkM

      No. No it could not…

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    I’m a sucker for these kinds of WH photos. The Obamas just seem so nice. Most Presidents look awkward with kids — like grandparents who are hoping nothing gets broke, which most of them are. Barry comes off like the cool uncle. Michelle is just pleasant looking (and hot.) They may, in fact, be horrible people. I don’t know. They own the photo ops, though.

  • AntiDerpomeme

    I read the title, saw the lead picture and then spontaneously combusted into a messy, orgasmic puddle. Was the rest of the article good for you?

    • JoeChristmas

      * Wet Blanket Alert!*
      So much better than Harper and Cruz butt fucking each other.

      • Wee Mousie

        That would be nice, too, but in a prison cell somewhere inescapable.

  • sw19womble
    • Major_Major_Major

      Hey, Kane is from the USA at least. For that matter, the entirety of Canadia could get an embellishment minor. (Leafs, especially I am looking at you).

    • Zippy

      BWAHAHA!!! How many decades since Canada has seen the Cup?

      Go Hawks!

      • MarkM

        Your best player, Toews, is from Winnipeg…my hometown.

        • Zippy

          that’ll teach ya to outsource your hockey industry- he came to play with winners

          • Anarchy Pony

            Go home Donnie, you’re drunk.

          • sw19womble

            Free market economy and CBA ftw ;)

          • Major_Major_Major

            And that in spite of Bettman trying his hardest to hamstring the NHLPA.

          • sw19womble

            Fuck Bettman. Bitterly disappointed that they renewed his contract through 2021, as it means no NHL games or any purchases for me for another 5 years. Managed the last 4 okay tho….

            Still NHL’s loss is the WHL’s gain. Let’s go Giants!

          • Major_Major_Major

            Bettman has done the unthinkable, and made Jeremy Jacobs seem likeable.

          • JMP

            As long as Roger Goddell is still around though, he still can’t be the worst commissioner in sports – and even he was only able to take the top spot because Sepp Blatter was forced to reason after he faced likely criminal prosecution.

          • Zippy

            There’s apparently some rule that says you have to be a douchebag to run pro sports

          • Major_Major_Major

            Bettman is the more overt asshat (Cruz like), Goodell is more of the pandering ass clown (Rubiophile).

          • MarkM

            Ooooh, SNAP!

            I think that’s gonna leave a mark…

          • FlownOver

            Trudeau gonna build a great big beautiful wall to hold in the hockeyists.

          • Wee Mousie

            Ha! He came to play for money.

        • Major_Major_Major

          I would argue that Kane is the better player, but Toews is the more complete player. (and neither of them are Bergeron)

          • Suttree

            Harrison Bergeron? Sorry I haven’t watched hockey since Messier retired.

          • Major_Major_Major

            haha, St. Patrice. Great reference though.

          • FlownOver

            Who? Espo and Orr or GTFO

          • Suttree

            I’m only 39 FlownOver! And my mother helped to deliver one of his children. So there, my claim to fame.

          • FlownOver

            Hey! You have that kind of family good fortune and a Lizzietish hookup? Unfair!

          • Suttree

            Eh, I’ve had plenty of bad luck in my life. Good things come to good people eventually. :) The funny thing is that my mother had no idea who he was until I was watching the MSG network for the ’94 Finals back when I was a teen. So far as Lizzietish goes, I’m just lucky, and handsome. I bask in her glory.

          • MarkM

            Espo was a very good player, but Orr was a fucking GOD! His +124 plus/minus in 1970-71 is one of the most amazing stats in sports history.

          • Vienna Woods

            Bobby Orr was amazing.I say that even as a die-hard Habs fan who loves Beliveau more than any other player ever. (Although I was totally thrilled to meet Ken Dryden 10 years ago)

          • MarkM

            I’d still go with Toews. I prefer a guy who can do it all-score, play defense, kill penalties, be a leader-to a guy who is predominantly a scorer. I think Bob Gainey was probably the best player on the Habs ’70s powerhouse, and I would even argue that Mark Messier may have been a bigger factor in the Oiler’s dynasty than Gretzky. After all, they won another Cup after Gretzky was traded, and he led the Rangers to their first in over fifty years after he went there, while Gretzky never won another one.

          • Major_Major_Major

            I would definitely prefer to build a team around Toews than Kane, for all the reasons you mentioned (and MATURITY) and work ethic. Kane, being the more naturally gifted, has never had to work as hard and has been able to be less responsible with Toews on the ice.

        • sw19womble

          All the best players are from north of the border. That’s why we keep kicking homegrown yankee butt in the Olympics, etc…

          • Suttree

            Did we stop importing Czechs at some point?

          • Major_Major_Major
          • Suttree

            I was down south (where hockey may as well be rocket science and sure as hell wasn’t shown on tv) since the days of Jagr being on the Penguins.

          • Zippy

            Hell, I remember the days of Hull and Mikita and Esposito- all Canucks

            (yes, I am an oldz)

          • MarkM

            I remember reading one of my uncle’s hockey mags when I was a boy, and there was an article about the ONE American player in the NHL at the time. Yes, I am an oldz too…

      • JMP

        Moving all the teams from small cities in Canada and the Northern US to southern and western states where no one cares about hockey has certainly worked wonders for the NHL.

      • Vienna Woods

        Ok, but my guys have won it more than anyone else. Go Habs!

    • Young Team

      “Five minutes for lookin’ so good”

    • Flodurn

      They’ve got the Stanley cup at the WHITE HOUSE RIGHT NAO! On display!

      Such mockery! ;-)

    • Washington Capitals, maybe, finally, this season? THE CUP?
      ~

      • jqheywood

        Sssh. Don’t jinx it….

    • borninatrailer

      Hey, it’s not like he pointed out that Tim Horton’s is mediocre to begin with and getting worse after the BK buyout.

      • Zippy

        ouch…

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Gahh. Unless you stick to coffee and donuts ONLY, Tim Hortons is a lot worse than just mediocre.

        • Vienna Woods

          No, they can’t even do those right.

        • DarthwingDuck

          I had one of their breakfast sandwiches once, with bacon and cheese in it, and it still tasted BLAND. And I said to myself how do you make cheese and bacon taste BLAND? My mind still reels from the boggling.

      • MarkM

        I have to admit that I am not enamoured of Tim’s coffee. I find it to be insipid swill.

        • Vienna Woods

          It is not meant to be drunk black, I guess. Which sucks for those of us who don’t contaminate our coffee. I will not ever buy Timmie’s. And their donuts are made off-premise and shipped in.

      • Truthiness2U

        Seriously. Hearing for years how much better it was than Starbucks, and no. I agree, insipid swill.

    • Callyson

      GO PENS!

      And thanks, Canada, for this export:

      • FlownOver

        I read that as “Go Penis.” Not sure what to make of that.

        • Gayer Than Thou

          I read it that way too. I know exactly what to make of that.

      • Vienna Woods

        Meh. he’s no Bobby Orr.

  • BetsyBleedingheart

    I am assuming porn versions of this visit already exist somewhere on the internet.

    • sw19womble

      Yaoi fan fic is being furiously typed as we speak…

    • Markuserektus

      Rule 34…

  • Zippy
    • Major_Major_Major

      I don’t even know where to begin on that. Fuck-ING A

    • Anarchy Pony

      Fascist fuck.

    • Suttree

      And how am I not surprised in the least?

    • MarkM

      Ladies and Gentlemen, fascism in a cowboy hat…

    • sw19womble

      Old-school Republican: managed to imply his racism without having to say it out loud.

      • JMP

        Unlike his tony-handed Dear Leader.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Years of practice pays off for him (on the way to jail).

    • FlownOver

      The face/voice of Trumpism, all in a nice little package. Hope we see a lot of this footage.

      • MarkM

        They truly are utterly despicable people, aren’t they?

    • Callyson

    • JMP

      Sadly, that’s not surprising at all. Fucking brownshirts. And I’m sure Breitbart and the National Review are all claiming that it’s the protester’s fault for forcing the poor Trump mob to attack him.

      • Princess 20-sided Die

        (Please note that since I believe I have seen you over at my home away from home….AV Club….this comment isn’t necessarily for you, but for other commenters.)
        Please be aware that browncoats are different than brownshirts. Browncoats are awesome and also happen to be led by an attractive, charismatic, universe-crossing Canadian with a sexy love interest.

    • SnarkTank

      “We don’t know if he’s ISIS”
      .
      Yeah, dipshit, and we don’t know that you’re ISIS either. So are you advocating similar treatment for yourself? How’s that? You’re not blah, so you can’t be ISIS? You’re adorable! Bless your heart.

      • JMP

        If he was ISIS, why would he be protesting against Donald Trump, who has done more than anyone else on Earth to help them with recruitment and fundraising?

        • MarkM

          That is the kind of logic that will be forever impenetrable to most Rethugs. You know, cause and effect, actions have consequences…you aren’t supposed to eat paste…

      • JustPixelz

        If this guy wants to fight ISIS, I’ll buy his ticket to Mosul.

    • borninatrailer

      I’m going to simply enjoy the fact that he is not long for this world.

      • MarkM

        Is it wrong of me to hope that his bitter, racist old heart explodes like a baked potato left too long in the microwave? Very soon?

        • sw19womble

          Can something that shriveled and airless explode?

          • Cindyinencinitas

            Maybe he could go hunting with Cheney?

          • Wee Mousie

            Implosions can be fun, too.

        • FlownOver

          With votes, maybe.

          • MarkM

            Let’s see…November 8, 2016…Hillary whips Drumpf’s ass in the general…this bitter old bastard is watching his dream of a Nazi in the White House shattered forever…yes…IT-COULD-WORK!!

    • JustPixelz

      A Trump apologist (on MSNBC?) said this guy is not representative of Trump supporters the vast majority of whom are peaceful. Hmmm… that phrasing is familiar. Oh yeah … “Terrorists are not representative of Muslims the vast majority of whom are peaceful.”

  • Fragment Cotswolds

    Cats, the gauntlet of adorableness has been thrown. Your move.

    • A Grumpy Cat, Not Esq.

      We can’t even try.

  • lucidamente

    For those who haven’t had the pleasure, another photo of the Prime Minister of Canada and his wife. Fap among yourselves.

    • kaw143

      “With her hand on his thigh, she gazed at him in the crowded auditorium and –”

      Uh, I’ll be in my bunk.

      • Lambsendbeds

        Do you ever get to leave your bunk? Asking for a friend….

        • Vecciojohn LLC

          Why don’t you take your friend out and introduce him?

        • kaw143

          Not today, apparently. Wonkette is where it’s fappening.

  • Rufus T. Firefly

    I’m glad Obama could take some time away from destroying the country to talk hockey.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    I guess I’m old fashioned, but brown shoes with a blue suit? Maybe to meet with the “creative director,” but not to meet with a Head of State.

    • NanBullenshede

      Send him to the penaltie box so that he may feel shame.

    • nmmagyar

      It’s A Thing now, according the the fashion Gods. Brown and grey are also allowed together, when it should be a stoning offense.

  • Flodurn

    They are the sweetest couple.

  • AnOuthouse

    Donna Rose LIBELZ!

  • Callyson

    Trudeau tweeted coyly about the “special relationship” between the U.S. and Canada

    Ooooh, the Brits are hella jealous now…

    • sw19womble

      Nah, we all roll our eyes and are like “yeah whatever”. America is such a slut with a “special relationship” in every port.

    • FlownOver

      Or just very interested…

  • JoeChristmas

    Are you fucking kidding me? Those images rock. Is there, dare I say, hope for the world?

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Of course there’s hope. Do you know how many right-wing heads assploded when they saw those pics?

  • lucidamente

    If your erection lasts for more than four hours, close your eyes and think of this:

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      Add Ted Cruz for a full shrinkage sandwich.

    • Or you could think of Camilia Paglia thinking of Der TrumpenFuhrer.
      ~

    • mailman27

      Definitely a snub-nose handgun.

  • iamrrm

    OK editrix, why couldn’t you make the effort to get Donna Rose held by these 2 guys rather than mourning Joe. The babby in the picture above is not as worthy.

    • kaw143

      And could you slip the Wonkette brother in there, also, too?

      Asking for a friend.

  • Duke

    I’m wet.

    All that hockey talk does it to me.

    • Princess 20-sided Die

      Aww yeah…..I wanna let my hand gently slide down past the “blue” line, maybe sneak past your two “defence men” and go “offside”!

  • Bren

    Warning – if your orgasms last for more than 4 hours consult this picture.

    • MarkM

      Just took a boner pill…thanks for shooting THAT to hell…:-(

    • BJW

      Blurgh!!

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    How wonderfully Canadian that in the outdoor picture, Mrs. Trudeau appears to be the only person not wearing a coat. If only she had shown up wearing torn jeans and a Habs jersey, a la Alyssa Milano on that Devils poster.

    • Suttree

      I am not a fan of her as an actor but I still went and looked up that image!

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        The greatest joy is to cast light on the benighted.

  • Vecciojohn LLC

    Talk dirty to me, babe. In French. rrrrrrow!👄

    • sw19womble

      I hear Trudeau is bilingual.

      • Vecciojohn LLC

        Now you sit down and be quiet, young un. Land sakes!

      • Lambsendbeds

        If only he were cunnilingual…

        • Cindyinencinitas

          Oh you know he totally is…

    • Tish! You spoke French!

  • SadDemInTex

    There is way too much discussion about hockey….personally I just want to look at pictures of the two hottest power couples on earth….😍

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Both men smiled as they shared the stage, but the president was quick to throw in some good-natured ribbing – asking Trudeau: ‘Where’s the Stanley Cup right now? In my hometown’. ‘

    Lol, Kenya won the hockey playdowns last year?

    • Zippy

      Lord Stanley: “Dr Livingstone I presume?”

    • Latverian Diplomat

      The Kilamanjoro Snow. Relevant to both Kenyan Hockey and Climate Change.

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        No HNIK (Hockey Night in Kenya)?

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    In honor of the pandas, I dub them Bambeau.

  • beavertank

    Even though Putin is divorced now, so Russia technically doesn’t have a first couple, I would still invite them to look on our first couples and despair.

    Because Putin’s ex-wife, for all the iron balls it must have taken to put up with that psycho, was not a looker.

    • chascates

      I’m sure she committed political assassinations so there’s that.

  • I’ve had the flu for a week.

    Suddenly I feel much, much better.

  • Vecciojohn LLC

    I’ve always been gay for the Obamas.

  • Shibusa

    That’s a great dress on Michelle Obama.

  • lucidamente

    During the joint press conference with Prime Minister McDreamy, President No More Fucks to Give got this off:

    http://thinkprogress.org/politics/2016/03/10/3758695/obama-trump-rise/

    • Lefty Frizzell

      Nice riff! But in response to an article by Bobby Jindal, as if anybody gives a fuck what he thinks about anything….

      • Zyxomma

        No. Not even his constituents and former supporters.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      A recent article in the National Journal also said that Sen. Al Franken (D-MN) “paved the way for Donald Trump” due to his support for Obamacare.

      Hahaha, what?

      https://www.nationaljournal.com/s/620757?unlock=8FN44MUZAMAANTMD

      Synopsis: Without a Demo­crat­ic su­per­ma­jor­ity, Obama would have been forced to negotiate with Re­pub­lic­ans (or, at least, former Sen. Olympia Snowe of Maine) and settle for the in­cre­ment­al health care le­gis­la­tion that his then-Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel re­com­men­ded. The GOP would still have been op­posed to any Demo­crat­ic health care re­forms, but the an­ti­pathy would have been muted be­cause a few Re­pub­lic­ans would have sup­por­ted the le­gis­la­tion. In­stead of pro­vok­ing a pitched par­tis­an show­down that cul­min­ated with then-House Minor­ity Lead­er John Boehner ex­claim­ing that the Con­gress had “shat­ter[ed] the bonds of trust” with the Amer­ic­an people, Obama could have tempered the wrath of the Re­pub­lic­an op­pos­i­tion..
      Yes if only the GOP got what the wanted they would only hate Obama slightly less. Damn you Franken! Damn you!

      • lucidamente

        Villagers are so cute when they try out the centrist compromise gambit in the complete absence of facts.

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          srsly. They basically said, out loud, the day he was elected, that they were gonna do everything they could to make him a one term president.

      • Zippy

        Yes, because it’s not like Bamz didn’t negotiate away half of the original plan trying to get the GOP on board, pissing off the entire left half of the Dem base…

        It’s the old
        “Can I burn down your house”
        “No”
        “Can I burn down half of it?”
        “No”
        “How about the kitchen, can I burn it down?”
        “No”
        “Then a bedroom, let me burn down a bedroom”
        “No”
        “Why are you liberals so unwilling to compromise?”

        • Antonin Dvorak

          Exactamundo!

    • Zippy

      shorter Bamz- Are you fucking kidding me?

  • ViveLaRes

    In the unlikely event of a GOP win in November, Canadian citizenship just got a whole lot hotter.

    • I figure my odds of getting a citizenship wife go up bigtime if Trump wins. The line forms at the 49th parallel, ladies!

      • Zyxomma

        Where do I send my application?

      • nmmagyar

        Would you consider a husband?

    • caitifty

      “It’s ok, if that Adolph nitwit gets elected I’ll just go back to my wife’s family in Warsaw”. Not mine (and can’t remember where I saw it) but there you go..

      • Dudleydidwrong

        Trump: “Lebensraum is YOOOOUGE!”

  • Thepeoplevs.

    I imagine a north american summit may be too much for poor evan

    • SteakNEggs

      Dang you beat me to it!

    • kaw143

      Hey, everybody! I’m back from my bunk, so we can get back to —

      GODDAMN IT.

      I’ll be in my bunk.

    • Jen_Baker_VA
      • jviscont1

        Men’s Warehouse musta been running their NAFTA blue suit special.

        • FlownOver

          That’s gold and white, I tells ya!

      • Gayer Than Thou

        It’s … I’ll be … global warming … they … bunk …

    • Parakeetist

      I vote yes.

    • nowlo

      HUGE upgrade compared to the last trio.

    • Redgyal

      Nah. Accused of beating his wife or girlfriend or both.

    • Cindyinencinitas

      Little Ricky has been manscaped within an inch of his life.

  • chascates

    Is there any way we can have Trudeau as our President?

    • sw19womble

      Nope, you went for Ted Cruz, no swapsies.

      • MarkM

        Mwuahahahahahahaha!

      • Antonin Dvorak

        We really can’t be held responsible for what Texas does.

      • Zippy

        just for that, we’re keeping Neil Young

        • kaw143

          Oh, please. They’re LETTING us keep Neil Young in the hopes that we don’t notice Jim Carey lurking around.

          • Zippy

            Bieber is stuffed into an old Tim Horton’s box and on his way back as we speak…

          • MarkM

            Time for a rousing rendition of!:

            https://youtu.be/PU5xxh5UX4U

          • Blank Ron

            Don’t send him back to his home town – they loathe the entitled little prick there.

      • So Vidal Sassoon we forgets Celine?

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21iW_YMLvmU
        ~

    • HanBarbara

      He does have a classily beautiful face, our Prez not so much, but he has the lovable nerd look nailed. he wears dad jeans and we all say awwwwww

    • Apple Scruff

      I don’t think it’s possible, but in eight years, we could have Gavin Newsom. He’ll be worth the wait.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      We’d have to make the Canadian provinces into states, and I think that might mess up the flag. Might be less trouble to tweak the Constitution – and we could repeal the Second Amendment while we were at it.

  • SteakNEggs

    Lordy lord, we can’t forget to include the President of Mexico.

    Could NAFTA be renegotiated as porn?

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      mmmm. Talk about your BIG trio….

      • sw19womble

        Menage a tres, anyone?

    • It’d be much better without all the worker-screwing…

      That’s what you meant, right?

      http://www.epi.org/blog/naftas-impact-workers/
      ~

    • Invidosa

      Its official, North America wins the award for Sexxxxxxxiest World Leaders! The rest of earth should give us giant fucking trophy! (but they wont cause theyre jeeeeeeealous!)

      • Playonwords

        Careful how how you say that.

        Giant fucking trophy” is different to “Giant fucking trophy” which is different to a “Giant fucking trophy.” Lemuel Gulliver and St Agnes are the only recorded winners of the last

    • berkeleyfarm

      Mr. and Mrs. Mexico are indeed rather good-looking people, but I prefer my political heartthrobs minus the corruption.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      NAFTA: North American Fuck Something …

      I’ll work on it.

      • ktpupp

        North American Fuck Them All

        • Gayer Than Thou

          Brilliant. Works for the real NAFTA and for the movie version.

  • lucidamente

    “Justin and Sophie, me and Melania are just delighted to meet you. This is huge. This is the biggest thing to happen between our countries since the War of 1812. And we would have totally taken over Canada if I had been president and not that dwarf loser James Madison. Anyway, Justin, what kind of name is that? It’s kind of fruity. And you better not be related to that loser cartoonist who keeps making fun of me. I’ve got people in the DoD working on a new cell block in Gitmo just for him. And Sophie, you’re almost as classy a broad as Melania. In fact, if I wasn’t married to her I’d be banging you right now in the Lincoln Bedroom while I made Justin mow the Rose Garden lawn.”

    • Antonin Dvorak

      “Canadians love me, I am tremendous on Canadians!”

      • Enfant Terrible

        Then why did you spend all your time hanging out in Spilville, Iowa?

        • Antonin Dvorak

          I was told it was the Olomouc of Iowa! How was I supposed to know it was barely the Moravsky Krumlov of Iowa?

    • JoeChristmas

      “And listen Justin, you’re gonna pay for that Northern Wall. We’ve got to stop the mass emigration.”

  • Jen_Baker_VA

    #Bamadeau was taken?

  • Vecciojohn LLC

    This OT and against the Rules and I will go to hell when I die and all that, but.

    This is a preview of the next GOP debate format. Spoiler alert: you do not want to click on this. I do not guarantee that will not go blind. By clicking on this, you agree to hold me harmless, cross your heart and to be Trump’s next wife if you lie.

    Oh, never mind. Sorry. I can’t. Sorry. I’m the kind of sick bastard who thinks this is funny. This is why my family shuns me. This is why I spend all my time on Wonkette. I have no friends. I will,die alone.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      You’re supposed to drink the whiskey, not snort it. Come on, John, we need you!

      • Zippy

        not according to Pat Travers

      • Vecciojohn LLC

        I need a nap. Is there some kind of debate or primary or whatever tonight. ?

    • JoeChristmas

      What is the pont Vecciojohn?

      • Vecciojohn LLC

        What is the point or even the pont of anything?

        As for man, his days are as grass: as a flower of the field, so he flourisheth.
        For the wind passeth over it, and it is gone; and the place thereof shall know it no more.

        • Anarchy Pony

          Two intulekshul!

        • Skadi

          It is a tale
          Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury
          Signifying nothing.

        • Playonwords

          I get the impression that you either want to sit in a corner and rust or just fall apart where you’re standing.

          With apologies to Marvin

      • cousin itt

        To get to the other side?

    • Cindyinencinitas

      Is this One Weird Trick doctors don’t want you to know about to get out of having to pay attention to the debates?

      • Vecciojohn LLC

        It’s an even weirder trick. It’s an eldritch trick. Beware. Do not tamper with this trick. We are warned against those who mutter and peep, who cast the Wicked Cards, who skry and read entrails. Oh, oh oh! Turn back!

  • Starfish

    GOP is going to be pissed when they find out we have a socialist as an ally.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Don’t tell them anything about their precious lord and savior.

      • They believe in NRA Tax Cuts Jesus.
        ~

        • Anarchy Pony

          Supply side Jesus.

        • Zyxomma

          They worship NRA, tax cuts, and fake Jesus. In that order.

      • Invidosa

        Ronnie “Iron Balls” Reagan was a socialist? huh, who knew?

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Trudeau has amazing posture, for a socialist. All the socialists I’ve ever known are frumpy and disheveled like Bernie.

    • Paperless Tiger

      Or in prison.

  • Joshua Norton

    Oh yeah? Wait until Charles and Camilla take over England. We’ll just see who’s the sexiest couple then!

    • Kastle

      Wonderfully sick thought, there.

    • HazooToo

      Shave yourself! You shave yourself RIGHT NOW and live with your shame!

    • Invidosa

      Thanks, thanks a lot. You just managed to rinse every last nasty, delicious, filthy thought out of my dirty little mind. In fact, I may never have sex again. I sincerely hope you are proud of yourself. Hang your head in shame!

    • Princess 20-sided Die

      Feeling threatened by the North American leaders sexiness quotient, Charles will decide to abdicate for the good of the country and let Will and Kate carry the sexiness honour of the British peoples.

    • Playonwords

      Why do you think I am a republican (Small r – small r)

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Still, if my choice comes down to Charles or Trumpy, it’s Charles all the way. #CloseYourEyesAndThinkOfEngland

  • Bill Slider

    With Washington enjoying 74 degree weather, the Canadian sexytime couple may pray for frequent US of A invites, since it’s not even the Ides of March. Besides, the Canadian First whatever they call her could use some of Mitchelle’s fashion knowledge. There is way too much British ugly in that dress she is wearing., as in my eyes hurt.

    • tinker12

      You would not believe how many Canadians are in Palm Springs, CA (lots’n’lots’n’lots) for the winter and it’s fewer than normal because their dollar sux.

      • sw19womble

        Good for me, tho, as I can shuffle some money over in a few weeks and pay for my new driveway.

        • Vienna Woods

          Me, also, too, as my new freelance writing gigs are paid in USD. It’s very nice.

      • My Canadian folks are currently in Hobbiton. Like, they’re vacationing in New Zealand and literally, at this exact moment, they are visiting the set for Hobbiton.

        That beats Palm Springs…

        • nmmagyar

          That beats everywhere

        • Andrea Jacobsen

          Can your parents adopt me and take me on their next trip? I’m Canadian, so we don’t have to worry about much paperwork

          • Yeah, I kinda wish I had snuck into their luggage… They’re in NZ for 3 months, then Australia for a week, then taking a month long cruise from there to BC. Rough life, eh?

          • Andrea Jacobsen

            Very very very rough. *stares out the window at the sleeting ice daggers*

      • Zyxomma

        I thought the Canadians liked to winter holiday in Jamaica. There were many of them last time I visited.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          At my little tourist hotel just across the river from Victoria BC, we are accepting the CDN$ at par as a promotion, making our least expensive room only $36.33/night. Crazy Cheap! Come on down, all you Canadastanians!

          • snigsy

            Wish I could.

    • Paperless Tiger

      In my mind they’re all naked.

      • Major_Major_Major

        So true.

  • A Grumpy Cat, Not Esq.

    I’M NEVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO LEAVE MY BUNK.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      “Astroglide–stat!”

  • Gary Jackson

    Another day to be proud I am from the great nation of Canuckistan. FWIW his father, Pierre Elliot Trudeau, was a charismatic intellectual blessed with style and pizzaz and his personal style and political conviction made right-wing heads in Canada explode….still does. I, like many Canadians, are enjoying the honeymoon phase. As a liberal and progressive, Justin Trudeau hits all the right notes. With a modicum of success we can count on ten years of Liberal government in Canada. I’m happy with that.

    • sw19womble

      With hopefully room for 2 or 3 more Green MPs out West in BC next time around :)
      (although the less said about the weird right-wing “BC Liberal” provincial government the better).

      • Vienna Woods

        Yeah, keep those ” ” around Liberal there. Christie Clark is a LINO fer sure.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Same with Australia. What is it with these former Commonwealth countries, and words meaning the opposite of what they day?

      • Lascauxcaveman

        No shit, talk about your blue dogs / chiens bleus.

      • snigsy

        Well, it’s BC.

    • Vienna Woods

      Amen!

  • JoeChristmas

    For once it’s true: Thanks, Obama

  • tinker12

    I lol’d the whole way through that one — good stuff Evan!

  • calliecallie

    And we all lived happily ever after.

  • Finally! First story I’ve read all day with a happy ending.

    • Rick Hill

      No republicans, may explain why.

      • eddi

        This is them right now.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Well, in about ten minutes…

  • Rick Hill

    I get it now. Obama’s going to build he FEMA camps in the Great white North! Why didn’t I think of it sooner? A reverse southern priso…education camp. Instead of swamps and gators it will be polar bears and frozen tundra. Build a little character and maybe some empathy for those unrepenting conservatives.

    • Zippy

      Beauty Clark!

    • Msgr_Moment

      And them bears are gettin’ mighty hungry what with the Global Climate hot flashes melting all their seal-hunting habitat!

      • Rick Hill

        Definitely sending climate change deniers up there.

  • btwbfdimho

    Speaking of hotness, global & local warming, the FLOTUS.

    • MarkM

      I am having some rather un-neighbourly thoughts right now…

    • Cindyinencinitas

      Work it, gurl. Work it right on up to there.

    • Enfant Terrible

      Is it camping season already? ‘Cause I’m pitching a tent.

    • mailman27

      Gotdamn.

    • MarkM

      The hell with it…I`ll be in my bunk.

    • eddi

      Pick her to play Wonder Woman. Heads would explode on both sides of the argument.

      • Vecciojohn LLC

        Lord, hear our prayer.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Can she act at all, even a little bit? Because this is truly a genius idea.

        • eddi

          The only realistic drawback is a stunt double. You can teach any reasonably smart person to act. Ms. Obama is comfortable in front of a camera. She is certainly athletic enough to handle minor stuff like throwing a punch or super-leaping with a little help from a Peter Pan harness.

          • Gayer Than Thou

            I wonder how it would be to have Secret Service protection on a movie set.

    • laineypc

      swoon, it’s just too perfect.

    • MarkM
    • Seriously, she’s hotter NOW than she was eight years ago, and she was stunning then. Amazing.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      I’m only human…

  • brittany

    That photo op with the kid would have been way cooler if Trudeau had taught Obama his baby balancing trick!

  • HazooToo

    FuckyesHetalia. AmeCan, bitchez.

  • jmhm

    OK, it’s hugely adorable that the leadership of north America has a ship name.

    I so enjoy that Mrs. Obama has become a healthy-sized style icon of awesomeness.

  • Invidosa

    Our milkshake brings all the sexxxxxy world leaders to the yard, and they’re like “we need to stabilize the environment so that our children can breathe clean air”

    also, does any one else think sexy pants Justin T. has somehow discovered the fountain of eternal youth? he looks all kinds of 32 for being sort of 44!

    • Cindyinencinitas

      He sort of looks like a puppy, he’s so earnest.

  • Enfant Terrible
  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    Is there another stupid debate 2nite?

    • MrBlobfish

      Boy howdy! I’m tankin’ up right now.

  • listen2meIsmart

    I have to give accolades for the well placed and well used word of “stupidhead”. This maybe the first times I’ve read a “news” article with this vernacular. I like it!

    • Anarchy Pony

      Strictly speaking it’s opinion, not news, and we like it to sound as gossip-y as possible.

  • Vienna Woods

    This is how sexy my Prime Minister is:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8ypraEielc

    • cousin itt

      Oh yeah, you Frenchie, your mother smelled of elderberries and you can’t touch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MxbT11QlCe8

      • Truly Madly Derply

        He did know how to bust a move, you must admit.
        https://youtu.be/OM3Z_Kskl_U?t=5s

        • Heina Dadabhoy

          NEVER FORGET. That was amazing.

        • Jamsie

          Every time I see that clip I hope the shoes smack the war crim right in his ugly face. Does that make me a bad person?

      • Rick Hill

        Looks like he starts out and is thinking “last time I danced like this there was a lot more coke involved.”

      • ken_kukec

        “… your mother smelled of elderberries …”

        The Sambucus succubus? Asking for Sir Mick and Ja-a-ack.

    • BehaveYrself

      Might not make it to my bunk.

      • starfanglednut

        The whole bunk room is littered with the bodies of wonkers passed out in ecstasy.

        • Vienna Woods

          You’re welcome.

    • brittany

      It’s even sexier when he dances for charity!
      https://youtu.be/x7Wgae1K1vI

      • Andrea Jacobsen

        I do love how he looks like he should be a Musketeer with that facial hair. Just picture him in a leather jerkin… you’re welcome.

      • Beaumarchais?

        Oh dear Jesus, take me know.

        Next up, Trump, McConnell, and Christie!

    • Andrea Jacobsen

      Tis a good time to be Canadian.

  • LadyLaz

    Not as cute as the wonkette baby

  • Everything there is you could want, it is on the internet. More or less.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQLAbi79vuE
    ~

  • Smokahontas

    I bet there’s a whole lot of sticky keyboards around here right now…juuhhhssstt s sssaayyin

    • nmmagyar

      “S” key stuck?

      • Smokahontas

        It just needed to be wiped off. The O on my face seems to be stuck though.

    • ken_kukec

      Lotta one-handed typing goin’ on, obvs.

  • Msgr_Moment

    Great, Evan. Now who’s gonna clean up all the splooge on the walls?

    • ken_kukec

      Trump plans to call in Stanley Steemer his first day in office … oh, you mean the splooge on YOUR walls?

  • Rick Hill

    Man…Idk…reading these comments, you should be ashamed of yerselves. You sound like a bunch of common Trumps.

  • MrBlobfish

    If you don’t play for the Habs, you are not a great Canadian.

    • Vienna Woods

      Goddam right.

    • Major_Major_Major

      Why has Montreal had to drink water out of bubblers?
      Because they haven’t had a cup in 23 years.

      • Major_Major_Major

        From a purely hockey perspective, Muck Fontreal.

      • MrBlobfish

        Don’t make me come up there

        • Major_Major_Major

          I can relate, it’s been 4 years, but there was a LONG drought before that. I’m still gonna talk smack because Montreal

          • Vienna Woods

            What, you don’t like the winningest team in the history of hockey?

          • Major_Major_Major

            TL;dr version: Not only no, but fuck no.

          • MrBlobfish

            When/if you get to heaven, Maurice ‘Rocket’ Richard will knock your teeth out.

          • Major_Major_Major

            Eddie Shore will have my back, I’m more worried about Theo Fleury if and when we both get there.

          • Vienna Woods

            Not Jean Beliveau, though. He was a gentleman.

          • MarkM

            Le gros Bill was all class…head to toe.

  • eddi

    OT Cliven Bundy does the Sovereign Citizen Song and Dance in Las Vegas.
    http://koin.com/ap/cliven-bundy-court-appearance-to-draw-demonstrators-in-vegas/

    • MrBlobfish

      Snicker

    • Vienna Woods

      Yeah, good luck with making bail if you refuse to recognize the court. Enjoy jail, asshole.

      • eddi

        They are not about to let him or any Bundy go. In the textbooks “Flight risk” is illustrated by a Bundy family picture.

      • sw19womble

        He should ask Wesley Snipes how refusing to recognise the government, or pay it for stuff, works out for you.

      • MarkM

        Speaking as a corrections officer, slamming a cell door in that idiot’s face would increase my job satisfaction tremendously.

    • Anarchy Pony

      Smart. They can’t do anything if you talk forever…
      Oh wait, yes they can…

    • WeaselPoo

      In addition to refusing to recognize federal authority, Bundy also rejected the description of his prison uniform as being “maroon” and refused to acknowledge court-approved alternatives including “passionate puce”, “pale plum ” or “gross hickey”.
      Prosecutors are now considering additional charges of contempt based on Bundy’s declared disdain for other things otherwise obviously in evidence, including gravity, wood paneling and the existence of wet AND dry vacuums.

      • cat cafe

        Bundy also urged his followers to be consistent in their non-recognition of the Federal Government and refuse to drive on roads, put gas in their car, use tap water, electricity, computers, software, purchase anything FDA approved at the CVS or USDA approved at the grocery store, or expect firefighters to answer any of their phone calls in the event of a fire.

    • Refusing to recognize the court? He should read up about how well that worked for IRA prisoners during the Troubles.

  • Manhattan123

    It’s cute that Wonkette thinks any of its readers cares about hockey. (Other than the Canadian or nerdy ones, of course).

    • CAPITALS STANLEY CUP THIS YEAR!!!
      ~

      • Major_Major_Major

        The cup will be in Washington this year, when the Bruins come to town. (Wishful thinking on my part, I know. FML)

        • Andrea Jacobsen

          *gentle pat on head* There there… at least you’re not a Canucks fan. *collapses into uncontrollable sobs*

    • Daru Titor

      I thought it was an immature Trump clone, guess not.

    • nmmagyar

      Some of us care very deeply about hockey players (Henrick Zetterberg for me, TIA). Does that count?

      • Manhattan123

        If you’re Canadian or nerdy you get a pass. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.

    • Vecciojohn LLC

      You can’t see the goddamn puck, they score about once a year, they skate around in circles and lose the goddamn thing to the other team constantly. The reason they fight so much is that they’re as bored by the whole farrago as we are.

      • Vienna Woods

        What, you didn’t manage to get Canadian whiskey into your rant? You’re slipping.

      • MarkM

        Oh please…your “National Pastime” is a game so stultifyingly boring that in order to endure it you either get blind drunk in the bleachers or sit there for three hours painstakingly compiling ridiculously arcane statistics to keep from falling asleep.

        • Vecciojohn LLC

          It’s an American thing.

          You wouldn’t understand.

          • Vienna Woods

            And yet, the first game was played in Beachville, Ontario. Go figure.

          • Vecciojohn LLC

            3 old cat libel.

          • MarkM

            Nor would I want too…

          • Frank Underboob

            “You wouldn’t understand.”
            Thank god for that.

      • Manhattan123

        It’s like soccer on ice with uglier players.

      • Playonwords

        @ Vecciojohn LLC @ Manhattan123

        I have but one word for you RugbyLeague (OK, that’s 2 words really but work with me)
        https://youtu.be/66wK9zAppHc

      • brittany

        The only people in the world who insisted they required assistance to see a black puck on white ice were American sports fans, also, Canadian hockey trivia makes for great music!

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JaeRrrtsCqU

        • Vecciojohn LLC

          Nobody can see the puck. It moves too damn fast. Science has proved that. And that band sucks. Damn teenage jungle drum French-speaking hippies.

          Now here is one of Canada’s finest exports.

          https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4RH7m3ssPlo

          • brittany

            Joni’s another fantastic Canadian Artist, but don’t knock the Hip, even if you don’t like their sound, a lot of their work actually discusses Canadian history and culture (much like some of Gordon Lightfoot’s music)
            Take, for example Wheat Kings:
            https://youtu.be/5JjX-F7AFso

          • brittany

            Or Nautical Disaster:
            https://youtu.be/e8Fi46BFAF0

    • Frank Underboob

      It’s even cuter that America thinks that any of the other 7 billion people in the world care about American ‘football’ – the only form of football in the world in which fat, out of shape guys can pretend be star ‘athletes’. And boring? – American ‘football’ actually makes soccer look exciting.

      • Manhattan123

        We are going to build a wall around our football stadium. A big beautiful wall with multiple turnstiles that you can use to enter. But you must pay to get in.

        • Frank Underboob

          I’m pretty sure I’ll continue to cope just fine with never seeing it. ;)

  • laineypc

    Michelle’s green dress is the best dress she ever wore. She is so rocking that dress.

  • A_Z_4
  • ken_kukec

    “… we love it when they flirt about hockey ..”

    Think they’ve figured out how to watch the hockey game-of-the-week both at the same time while boning on a Saturday night?

  • World’s Sexiest North American Leaders…Soon to be followed by a debate between the world’s most gruesome lizard people.

    LIVE* on CNN

    *just like their rodent snacks.
    ~

  • Vecciojohn LLC

    I rather like Mrs. Canada’s frock. There. I said it.

  • laineypc

    1 Way to go Wonkette, Could not load Shockwave Flash. Shockwave Flash has crashed. Obvs. There is only so much sexxxy Shockwave Flash can take.
    2. They are really here to figure out where all the US refugees are going to live starting with the Obama family, should he who should not be named gets the unspeakable thing.

  • PixieThis

    I may have to take a cold shower, warm myself up on these pictures again and then take another cold shower!

    • ken_kukec

      Like the film critic’s review of a porn movie on the old SNL: “I found it interesting, then very interesting, then very, very interesting … then I wasn’t interested anymore for a while.”

      • cat cafe

        That was Kevin Nealon… and then he continues into gay porn “I was really put off, it wasn’t my thing… then I watched a bit more… and I found it interesting….” etc. Hilarious.

  • ken_kukec

    Barry’s aged, same as every other decrepit old fart who’s served as president, but the First Lady is still soo fine, better than the day they arrived in Washington a dozen years ago.

    Has she got a portrait showing the wear-and-tear locked away in the White House?

    • Ricky Gay

      she is the Flotus with the Mostest!

    • Playonwords

      No, that’s Johnny Depp

    • SDGeoff

      He’s growing into a most sexxxy daddy.

  • Msmlg1979

    Michelle’s green dress is so damn fabulous, I was able to see it, even through my Trudeau tunnel vision. Stylish and stunning.

    • SDGeoff

      Are you sure it’s green? Not silver and aubergine?

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Yes, I swooned, and I’m one of those American males who’s into the opposite gender.

    • WhyFelicia

      Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

  • Diana Couturier

    They all 4 are just too sexy for their shirts…….now take them off …..Please :-)

  • Luddite

    How come Evan never showed us the picture of his Canadian Daddy Justin Trudeau holding TWO baby pandas at once? The internet swooned.

    • SDGeoff

      Because pandas, while being cute and stinky, are not sexxxy.

  • MarkM

    This picture you mean?

    • starfanglednut

      Sigh…

    • ken_kukec

      It’s all fun and games until PM Trudeau is left in a pool of blood because one of the pandas eats, shoots, and leaves.

      • akryan

        The Oxford comma strikes again.

    • Luddite

      Yes, thank you.

      • MarkM

        you’re welcome

  • J_JamesM

    Michele Obama, remember, is fifty-two years old. FIFTY-TWO. Just goes to show that fifty is the new DAYUM!

  • MissNomer

    ….

    • handyhippie65

      whoa, thems some lucky dudes.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Best key party ever.

    • IknowRIGHT

      This party aint for everyone, just the sexy people.

  • Boojum

    Then both First Couples adjourned to the Lincoln bedroom, where they proceeded to get their freak on and break the furniture.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      That’s just a terrible idea. That furniture is part of our national legacy!

      • SDGeoff

        And it always will be: in a special exhibit at the Smithsonian.
        Imagine that if you will.

  • tehbaddr

    We need to torture like they do!

  • tehbaddr

    Hey, I think we broke it the Duisgust!

  • AndInThisCorner

    Trubama holding hands riding unicorns meme like Right. Now. Pleeeaassee!!!!🦄

    • MrCanoehead

      Found this:

      • AndInThisCorner

        You have won the Internet for me!!
        Thanks xo

  • tehbaddr

    Yeah! More war, we need to do this!

  • LadyLaz

    I have a secret girl crush on Michelle Obama

    • Pickwicknext

      Why is it secret?

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Seriously. Even *I* have a girl crush on the First Lady.

        • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

          Stay away from, bitch! I’ll scratch your eyes out!

    • Truly Madly Derply

      Huma? Is that you?

    • Frank Underboob

      I have a not even slightly secret crush on Michelle Obama. She is a hottie.

    • Teto85

      NTTAWWT.

  • handyhippie65

    hey they were holding a babby that weren’t donna rose! just think how much sexxyer they would have been with a real babby celebrity. then everyone would be in love with us.

    • SDGeoff

      Forever, maybe longer!

  • Playonwords

    For all the ladies and gentlemen who have imagined Justin Trudeau being hot and sweaty
    https://youtu.be/XuSpZ3_5pTc

    • NorthStarSpanx

      From what I’d read, Brazeau is a black belt, a brawler growing up right next to the Rez. Everyone thought that conservative was going to knock the liberal pretty boy out.

      • Playonwords

        Boxer beats fighter

    • Courser

      Thanks for posting that! Not a huge fan of boxing, but that was awesome!

    • Rose Red

      What the heck?!?! Canadian politicians box each other?! Canada is so weird… smh

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Nothing like what politicians do to each other in Michigan, eh?

    • Rose Red

      But yeah, wow Trudeau is HOT. Thanks for posting.

    • Corebela

      Damn I didn’t realize that he beat him so badly when I first heard of this in the news after it happened. Nor did I realize the other guy was expected to win. What awesome awesomeness!

    • Lina A

      Extra satisfying, because Brazeau is a toxic, delusional, right-wing uber douche… a misogynistic, corrupt, abusive, incompetent, irresponsible, and unprofessional piece of shit, and boy did we get lucky when he was suspended from the senate, because the idea of having that guy as a senator FOR LIFE… ugh.

      • Playonwords

        So, Brassiere is not to your taste …

        • Lina A

          I don’t support him, no :P

          • Mickey Donovan

            I thought all good girls liked bad boys.

  • Frank Underboob

    Here’s a deal for you, Evan: You have Bamz & Justin, & I’ll keep the First Ladeez busy, okay?

  • Stein Olsen
    • Mintie

      Well, yeah. She’s not wearing clear heels. Nothing says class like avoiding stripper shoes. As for the other two, well, one is black and the other is Quebecois (i.e. French), so obviously they are trash, in spite of their opaque footwear.

  • david swann

    Awesome!

  • Playonwords

    I hope everybody caught President Obama’s Head of State level trolling at the banquet to honour Mr Trudeau. Referring to how great the 2 countries were he said, ‘Where else could a boy born in calgary run for President of the United States?’

    Bwahahahahah

    Let’s put that in all caps and bold

    WHERE ELSE COULD A BOY BORN IN CALGARY RUN FOR PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES

  • Ruhe

    While Trudeau may have the feels for Barry that other Canadian wants to f**k every last one of us.

    • Jared Moss

      Buy us a drink first?

    • veska

      Now that he’s “retired”, he’s probably bowling with Dick Cheney.

  • NorthStarSpanx

    “I want to grow the relationship we have with Canada,” Palin said.

    “I know Alaska is doing all we can to grow that relationship and we’ve gotta have faith that the newly elected administration will see the light on that and work very hard to increase and strengthen the relationship between our two countries.”

    And here all Sarah did was give half a billion dollars of Alaskan money to a Canadian company to build a pipeline to nowhere.

  • bbayliss

    They appear to be normal human beings, how can this be?

    • Takoma DC

      Ikr? When they speak it’s normal, sincere and yeah so sexy normal!

  • MangoMojito

    I think I love everything about this article.

  • Peter Walford

    Feelin the lurv as far away as here <3

  • Annie Towne

    That is the best story I have ever read. Period.

    • SDGeoff

      Ever.

    • veska

      Took the words right out of my…um…fingertips?

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Almost enough to make me want to forgive them for Ted Cruz. Almost.

      • Strepsi

        We give you the Canadians you deserve. In the golden days it was John Candy and Rick Moranis and Catherine O’Hara. Then it was Celine and Shania and Avril. Now it’s Bieber and Dong-nose Cruz…

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          That’s why we just outright stole kd lang from you.

      • Lina A

        You guys could avoid things like Cruz if you would only stop taking our dregs just because they hurtle your way and appeal to the lowest common denominator =) Don’t even get me started on your musical tastes, when it comes to which Canadians you’ll listen to, and which you haven’t even heard of, despite all of the “obscure outside of Canada” artists’ awards for their exceptional work.

  • theblackdog

    I, for one, welcome our new sexxxy dictators for life

  • SDGeoff

    It was a great day, wasn’t it? Just for a change, a refreshing breather, we got to see lots and lots of unspeakable sexxxified goodness happening, complete with a (inferior, but still cute) babby, nice fashions, and a great toast from Barry Bamz.

  • Mark Flanigan

    I was surprised to find out this was actually written by a man, lol.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      You don’t know Evan Hurst, apparently.

      • Takoma DC

        Or Wonkette?

        • Strepsi

          Or 97% of blogs on the interwebs?

    • Takoma DC

      Also too, the boys is marryin’ boys nowadays. Totally legal!

  • Cataldo Miami

    If Canada and the US want to do a 3some with Italy, I’m available!!

  • Hilarious!

  • DustBowlBlues

    I hope the maple-glazed hottie kept his mother at home. Locked away in a secret room.

    • Lina A

      I hope you’re joking. Why on earth should she be locked away?

      His mother was featured prominently upon his win. They were somewhat estranged for awhile, I guess on account of her behaviour due to undiagnosed mental illness, but we now have a much better understanding of BPD and treatment options, and the woman looks well. They have a good relationship, now. No need to pass judgement on her over an illness she could not help.

  • DustBowlBlues

    Having slammed Margaret, I must say that, in all honesty, he seems to have inherited the best of both parents. Lucky deal since his poor mother suffered from bipolar disorder before it was even bipolar disorder. Prior to that, she was just considered crazy with no fancy label.

    • Gregory Brown

      Her name was invoked in a notoriously raunchy SNL sketch.

  • Takoma DC

    What a beautiful relationship #Trubama. Was Wonkette Babby unavailable?

    • geoffalnutt

      I might even prefer “Odeau”, but then again, there might be something terribly wrong with me. I like the sound, okay?!

  • OrdinaryJoe

    No bystanders or reporters were strangled, head locked or tossed to the ground for these photos.

  • Pinkham’s Law

    Trump says the copss and security asked him to please cancel. Probably the right call.

    • Gregory Brown

      Cops said they never talked to him.

      • YourNameHere

        I believe them. If Trump got shot in Chicago, Rahm would have given them all a personal handshake and bribes.

  • Borosilicate

    Oh, Evan! I could use a smoke after that!

  • GRH

    For more laughs, Google…

    Senator Patrick Brazeau pleads guilty to assault, cocaine charges

  • Lina A

    Trudeau was apparently talking about being more involved with Mexico, at least as far as climate change is concerned. There is supposed to be some summit or dinner or whatever between the three leaders, in June. I don’t know too much about his politics (beyond them being centrist), but Mexico’s president, Enrique Peña Nieto, has me thinking that, come June, there will be further bromance-related memes implying threesomes, and “something something sandwich”.

    Of course, that’s going to be a really shit sandwich if Obama is replaced with you-know-who. But shh, shh… for now, let’s just bring our focus back to Teh Pretty.

    • YourMom

      Ho-leee shite! you’re right. Throw this into the mix and we older gals might involuntarily go into a stat of reverse menopause.

  • Pugsandcoffee

    Porn parody, soon to be released: “Heads of State.”

    • Pat_Pending

      Brown chicken, brown cow…

  • S M
  • YourNameHere

    I basically just stared at those pictures of them with the baby frozen and unsure what to do? Burst into tears? Whimper? I don’t know. OT4.

  • YourMom

    That there is just a lot of beautiful.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba
  • Daniel Thompson

    Mr. Hurst, this was quite naughty and you are a very bad man but I am grateful. I laughed so hard I hurt myself. There you are, bad again.

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