Oh Look, Oklahoma Being Effing Awful Again

Oh what a god-awful morning, oh what a god-awful day

We usually skip Oklahoma when listing Worst Goddang States In The U.S. of Us. Maybe it's because we primarily associate it with an old-timey musical and forget it is an actual place where people live and work and don't just sing songs about how the farmer and the cowman should be friends.

Sometimes, though, Oklahoma gets all up in our face and demands attention:  

Any physician who performs an abortion would be unable to obtain a license to practice medicine in Oklahoma under a measure the state Senate approved overwhelmingly Tuesday over the objection of some Democrats who insisted the measure is unconstitutional.

Unconstitutional shmunconstitutional, right? The bill amends existing law "relating to physician licensure." So in addition to reasonable prohibitions in place -- like no "procuring, aiding or abetting a criminal operation" and no charging patients by promising "that a manifestly incurable disease can or will be cured" and no sex-boning patients or saying words that are "seductive or sexually demeaning to a patient" -- the new law would include this little humdinger:

Any physician participating in the performance of an abortion shall be prohibited from obtaining or renewing a license to practice medicine in this state. The State Board of Medical Licensure and Supervision shall revoke the license of an allopathic physician performing an abortion in this state. The State Board of Osteopathic Examiners shall revoke the license of an osteopathic physician performing an abortion in this state.

In the real world, legally performing legal medical procedures you don't like is not a legitimate reason to revoke or deny a medical license. No, we cannot cite a specific law that says you can't do that because it is so obvious that you can't do that, so no one has bothered putting it in writing.

That didn't stop the Republican-controlled state Senate from passing this stupid bill, however, which now heads to the House. And if the House passes it, and rightwing drool bucket Gov. Mary Fallin signs the damned thing, you can bet all your corncobs there gonna be some lawsuits double-quick on this blatantly, offensively, so-damned-obviously shmunconstitutional bill.

Meanwhile ... there's this whole NOTHER bill floating around Oklahoma's Senate, and believe it or not (and you will not believe it, FYI, but it's true), Senate Bill 1118 is an even more transparent attempt to outright outlaw all abortions in Oklahoma:

A person commits murder in the first degree when that person performs an abortion as defined by Section 1-745.5 of Title 63 of the Oklahoma Statutes. [...]

1. "Abortion" means the use or prescription of any instrument, medicine, drug or any other substance or device to intentionally kill an unborn human being; 2. "Unborn human being" means the offspring of human beings from the moment of conception[.]

Yup, that's pretty clear right there. All abortions, even those performed by licensed medical professionals, would be first-degree murder. And you know what they do to murderers in Oklahoma, right? Why, they murder them! Or at least they try. Sometimes it doesn't go very well.

[contextly_sidebar id="Wgn042lgiyylOREDVCx5UcyVOnljaVnE"]So if we understand this correctly, and there's a chance we don't because it does not make any kind of Earth logic sense, Oklahoma will ban doctors who have provided reproductive healthcare to women from being able to practice medicine and then maybe charge 'em with murder and toss 'em in prison, for extra good measure. And that'll put an end to abortions in Oklahoma and save all the babies, right? Or maybe it'll just drive even more women to the internet to learn how to perform abortions on themselves. Sure, that increases the risk to women's health and lives, but that's what being pro-lifey is all about.

[ Miami Herald / S.B. 1552 / S.B. 1118 via Dead State ]