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Not a happy Camp Delta-er
Not a happy Camp Delta-er

We haven’t heard from Rep. Darrell Issa much since he got the Benghazi knocked out of him a while back, but he’s determined to get his snarling face on the TV news from time to time so he can warn us of the latest danger that the president of the United States poses to the United States. Now that President Obama has announced plans to shut down the prison at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, which would involve transferring between 30 and 60 of the detainees to federal or military prisons in the U.S., Issa was quick to warn on Fox News that the president’s plan is totally illegal, unconstitutional, and dangerous. What’s more, Issa said, it’s pretty much the same as Andrew Jackson’s deadly relocation of the Cherokee tribe on the “Trail of Tears,” in which as many as 4000 Cherokee died while being force marched to Oklahoma in the 1830s.

Issa vowed that Congress would oppose any relocation of Gitmo detainees to U.S. soil in the courts, because as Jon Stewart said years ago, Congress believes that the prison is full of X-Men who will surely use their mutant Radical Islamic Terror superpowers to escape and wreak havoc on the mainland. Worse, we might have to treat them as if they have rights! Problem is, Issa explained, while the courts are deciding, Barack “Lawless” Obama might even ignore the courts:

It’s an old example, but Andy Jackson, the founder of the Democratic Party if you will, in the Trail of Tears defied the Supreme Court and marched Native Americans to their deaths. The fact is, it is very hard to stop a president from doing something if he’s willing to ignore the law and his Oath.

Which is great when it’s a Republican president, but very bad when it’s Barack Obama. Issa emphasized that if Obama orders Guantanamo closed, that would be the most illegal order he’s given since he recklessly endangered national security by forcing Marines to hold umbrellas for him and some foreign dude. Clearly, said Issa, this would be a huge conflict for military officers: “Are they going to obey an unlawful order, an unlawful order to move people from Guantanamo, an unlawful order to close the base?”

More to the point, will the prisoners be allowed to march to Oklahoma and run away? Issa added that closing a prison that’s been notorious for torture would place military officers in exactly the same moral dilemma faced by those who participated in the genocide of Native Americans:

Remember, the Trail of Tears was only possible, the murder of those Native Americans was only possible, because in fact the military obeyed an order in violation of the U.S. Supreme Court. So, do I believe that the military may push back on the president if he’s giving an unlawful order? Actually, I do. I can see flag officers resigning rather than obeying a clearly unlawful order.

Yes, the historical parallels are uncanny. Then again, as our history books for Christian homeschoolers remind us, the Trail of Tears had its good side, too:

Christian missionaries accompanied the Indians on their long journey to Oklahoma, called the “Trail of Tears.” Many Cherokees were so discouraged that they were ready to lie down and die. The missionaries restored their spirits by preaching, baptizing new converts, allowing for rest on Sundays, and meeting many physical needs. God used the ”Trail of Tears” to bring many Indians to Christ.

So maybe Rep. Issa should calm down and stop worrying so much. We could simply send some missionaries along to the Gitmo detainees’ new prisons to make everything OK. Maybe God would even use some Supermax facilities to bring the indefinite detainees to Christ.

[NBC / TPM]

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  • Nounverb911

    Darryl, don’t have a car somewhere you need to set fire to?

  • bseifried

    Issa the felon should just shut his pie hole.

  • cheetojeebus

    The Fuck ??

  • Spotts1701

    So the President is going to break the law, despite him, his own Defense Secretary, and his own Attorney General saying they know they can’t do this unilaterally because it is against the law?
    Oh, wait. You’re lying again, aren’t ya Darrell? Yep. Thought so.

  • Snopes Shop

    Sure didn’t miss that guy’s ugly mug around these parts.

    • WhyFelicia

      He’s no Louie Gohmert, that’s for sure.

  • Biff52
    • limberrat

      So Yertle the Turtle must really hate being Senate Majority leader then…

      • Biff52

        He likes the extra pay, it’s just the leading part he hates.

    • bseifried

      It’s turtles and arsonists all the way down.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      But, will they actually consider a nominee from the next President if that person has a (D) after their name?

      I thought the Constitution says only Republican Presidents are allowed to nominate replacements for the Supreme Court.

  • Beowoof14

    Just when they appear to hit a new low point, they get out the shovels and start digging.

    • Nounverb911

      We’re going to need a longer shovel…

      • nmmagyar

        We need people up top filling in the hole

  • goonemeritus

    If Obama’s plan is to march the Gitmo prisoners to the mainland I’ have to agree with Darrell that would indeed be cruel.

    • Nounverb911

      People walking on water? Where have I heard that before?

      • drbloor

        Obama is going to part the Straits of Florida. And once they get to Palm Beach, he’s going to turn bagels into lox.

        • Nounverb911

          Obama’s going to put the prisoners up at Trump’s Mar-A-Lago?

          • elviouslyqueer

    • elviouslyqueer

      Now now. Because Obama has declared himself the Messiah, he can simply part the Straits of Florida, tell the Gitmo folks to saddle up their hoverrounds, and get to getting.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Crazy-ass arsonist motherfucker says what now?

  • Lizzietish81

    I’m going to put this right up there with “The Dolphins don’t want you to do it!” There’s no point trying to figure this one out, it’s just stupid

    http://www.reactiongifs.us/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/nevermind_nathan_fillion.gif

    • nmmagyar

      I want to lick him. That is all.

      • proudgrampa

        You and proudgramma.

        • nmmagyar

          She obviously has great taste

          • proudgrampa

            Actually, she does. She picked me, didn’t she?

            I truly am the luckiest guy in the world. No snark there.

  • drbloor

    Close Gitmo, and tell Issa that every one of the detainees who doesn’t get a spot in an American prison is getting a plane ticket to the airport closest to his Congressional district.

    • limberrat

      San Diego International it is then!

    • limberrat

      Or…they could land at Camp Pendelton…that is in his district.

    • Nounverb911

      Set up a temporary camp on the 18th Green at Torrey Pines.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    It’s clear the whole Benghazi thing has made him gun shy, and he’s afraid of saying anything now that can be parsed as an actual sentence with a discernible meaning.

  • Lizzietish81
  • ManchuCandidate

    They took the whole Terrorist Nation
    Put us on this super max reservation
    Took away our ways of life
    The AK-47 and IED and knife

    Took away our native hummus
    And fed us their hamburgers to our young
    And all the shoe bombs we made by hand
    Are nowadays made in Japan

    Issa’s Cherokee people
    Issa’s Cherokee tribe
    He’s so scared to live
    He’s not too proud to lie

  • Nounverb911

    In the meantime, would it be okay to stick the Bundy clan there until they close it?

  • Michael Smith

    Got to admit, I did not see this analogy coming.

  • Mavenmaven

    He’d support military leaders who refused to follow the President’s orders. There’s a term for that.

    • Nounverb911

      Republicanism?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Shoulda scrolled down…sorry!

    • MsAnthropesMr
    • nmmagyar

      “Coup d’etat” comes to mind

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “Republican”?

    • marxalot

      The IOIYAR Protocol, right?

    • vivian

      Jesus is the reason for the treason.

      • Pickwicknext

        So, not guilty by reason of insanity?

        • vivian

          … or the treason of inanity.

  • MsAnthropesMr

    What a dick. And A Idiot, also too.

  • Lizzietish81

    You know who else encouraged the military to disobey a democratically elected president?

    • limberrat

      The Confederacy?

    • Little Lulu

      Sen. What’s-His-Face from North Carolina?

    • Sally Johnson

      Lieutenant Colonel Claus Schenk Graf von Stauffenberg?

      • Nounverb911

        Tom Cruise?

        • Sally Johnson

          You must admit, it’s an interesting twist from the usual HITLER! response.

    • Michael Smith

      I don’t know, but I think its a pretty common tactic for whenever the U.S. wants to overthrow like a central american regime or anything

    • PubOption

      Idi Amin?

    • SpideySenser

      Mohammad Reza Shah Pahlavi?

    • Spotts1701

      General James Mattoon Scott?

    • artem1s

      Mars Robert?

    • jmhm

      Jesse Helms? Or at least, that’s how I interpreted threatening Clinton with assassination at the hands of the military if he set foot in NC.

    • nmmagyar

      Francisco Franco

    • btwbfdimho

      Nixon & Kissinger, Chile 1972-73?

    • jviscont1

      Orville Faubus?

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Mace Windu?

    • Werewolf

      Prescott Bush?

  • Anarchy Pony

    Seems appropriate :

  • baconzgood

    nope…the Trail of Tears have nothing to do with this in anyway.

  • Michael Smith

    The worst thing about this is that people were watching this interview and going “Exactly, yes. Obama is a lawless thug.”

  • Tobias B. Santa

    Say wot, m8?

  • MarkM

    If the United States of America is so fragile that transferring “30 to 60” detainees-some of whom may actually not be guilty of any crimes-from Gitmo to mainland prisons would be “dangerous”, then there is no hope for America. As for how monumentally stupid and unhinged Rep. Issa is, Quod erat demonstrandum.

    • Courser

      Oh the Rs have been mining this fear for quite a while now.

      It’s completely ridiculous. Colorado’s Supermax prison (federal prison) is a ‘throw away the keys’ place. We’ve already got the Unibomber in there and a whole bunch of Superbaddies. You truly never hear from them again.

      Put another 20-30 people in there & no one will hear from them again. I’ve driven by the place, btw. It’s pretty fucking isolated and even IF you got out, you’d have nowhere to go but miles and miles of high plains. Nothing grows above your ankles so there’s really nowhere to hide. Not to mention it’s lit up like Christmas 24/7.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    For the second time in my life – to quote Fry’s Wellington – “WHAT IN THE NAME OF BONAPARTE’S BALLS IS THIS FELLOW DOING NOW?!”

  • Jeff Ackerman

    The missionaries restored their spirits by preaching, baptizing new converts, allowing for rest on Sundays, and meeting many physical needs. God used the ”Trail of Tears” to bring many Indians to Christ.

    When the white man came, we had the land and they had the bible, after a while we had the bible, and the white man had the land.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Issa made his fortune in the enrage-everyone-in-the-vicinity car alarm bidness. He’s been merchandizing fear for profit his entire life.

    • HanBarbara

      He cried when he found out he wasn’t going to get to run for Governor of California. He spent all that money engineering the Davis recall only to have Ahnold shove him aside

      • Latverian Diplomat

        On the one hand, hilarious. On the other, stuck CA with the Governator.

        • Seek

          Damn site better than Issa. He may also be the last R to be elected to statewide office unless things change a whole bunch in CA.

          • Latverian Diplomat

            Well, I was thinking Issa might have lost, but now that I think of it, the whole recall process was so screwed up maybe he had a pretty good shot at winning.

          • Seek

            As I recall, the major brand name D’s had all cleared out for Davis and he ran a decidedly poor campaign. He was all about defeating the recall and didn’t think to run in opposition to anyone in the election to replace him.

            Issa was going to lose as he is a bit like Cruz, in that to know him is to hate him. We could have gotten stuck with one of those Central CA whackaloons. The Governator was bad but he really was the lesser of the R evils.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      He’s doing his best to make sure car alarms aren’t the most annoying and pointless noise he’s associated with.

  • marxalot

    Love how the Tough Guys are all pants-pissed terrified over about enough guys to put together a six-team prison yard kickball tournament. Right up there with elementary schoolers on the list of Greatest Threats.

    • lroom

      I’m sure their health is in great shape as well after spending several years in a hellhole.

    • clubseal

      Not to mention that many of them were slated for release because they’d done nothing wrong (let’s not forget that none of them were charged with crimes before being imprisoned) and stayed there for years anyway, because our mistakes never have consequences don’t exist.

  • jmhm

    So, his point is that [something perfectly legal the President has the right to do both legally and morally] is _just like_ genocide, which Issa doesn’t give a fuck about but he knows liberals don’t like it?

    The whole point of Darryl Issa is that he’s got enough money to spend all his time trying to get people to point cameras at him. Surely he can afford a speechwriter he didn’t pluck out of the comments at RedState.

    • SnarkTank

      It’s important also to mention that AJ was “founder of the Democratic Party”…as if the Democrats have been in complete stasis for the last 200 years, and the Southern Strategy never happened. See “Lincoln, Republican slave-hater”.

      • jmhm

        I guess you missed class the day they discussed the death comet that wiped out all the Dixiecrats but Robert Byrd in 1964.

      • Skadi

        Because the GOP-ers confuse themselves with the original Republican party and think Jefferson was one of theirs?

      • mtn_philosoph

        The Democratic Party was actually founded by Martin Van Buren from remnants of Thomas Jefferson’s Republican (aka Democrat-Republican) party. Jackson was just the new party’s first successful candidate.

  • Indiepalin

    After they’re marched to Oklahoma, at least these detainees will be able to open up their own casinos and gas stations.

    • Creepoman

      And sell full-strength fireworks also, too.

  • Oneofthebobs

    I liked it better when Darrell and his other brother Darrell didn’t speak.

  • lroom

    This is one of the stupidest things I’ve heard a Republican say since yesterday.

    • nmmagyar

      And the day is still young

      • Pickwicknext

        This is why I subscribe to the Homerian philiosophy of “This is the worst day of your life…SO FAR”

        • Dorothy Luevano

          ❝my .friend’s mate Is getting 98$. HOURLY. on the internet.”….two days ago new McLaren. F1 bought after earning 18,512$,,,this was my previous month’s paycheck ,and-a little over, 17k$ Last month ..3-5 h/r of work a days ..with extra open doors & weekly. paychecks.. it’s realy the easiest work I have ever Do.. I Joined This 7 months ago and now making over 87$, p/h.Learn. More right Here!!b570➤➤➤➤➤ http://GlobalSuperEmploymentVacanciesReportsMore/GetPaid/98$hourly…. .❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:::::!!b570….

        • Naytch

          “What if this is as good as it gets?”

      • SpideySenser

        No shit, I wonder what level of derp they’re working on for the evening news cycle.

  • Sally Johnson

    You can’t see this enough. Fast foward to about 1:25:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7VW0v7wwfkQ

    In December 2010, LA Times columnist George Skelton described what happened to Rep. Darrell Issa during the 2003 recall of California Gov. Gray Davis this way:

    “It was not a citizen uprising that dumped Davis, a Democrat,” wrote Skelton. The 2003 recall election was called because one ambitious Republican congressman, Darrell Issa of Vista, spent $1.7 million of his own money to collect the needed signatures. Issa wanted to run for governor himself. But he gave it up when Schwarzenegger leaped into the race.”

    • HanBarbara

      And that all turned out so well. It’s interesting where Ahnold says that he has so much money “he cannot be bought”. Where have we been hearing that lately?

      • Bitter Scribe

        Yes, I’m sure Darryl would have governed the state every bit as well as Aahnold did.

    • jmhm

      And that? Will never get old.

      He really is amazingly Nixonian. Also, I enjoy the cute little waspy nose he has photoshopped onto his portraits.

    • Lizzietish81

      Gonna cry baby? Go ahead and cry! 123 cry!

    • lroom

      That’s a good one.

  • SterWonk

    “an unlawful order to close the base”

    Who’s ever talked about closing the base? The internment camp, yes, but the whole base? WTF is he talking about?

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Obama plans to release the detainees, arm them with photon torpedoes, and form them into his own personal Mooselimb security detail. It’s true!

    • Rick Hill

      Now that I’ve seen it on the internets I know I need to be very askeared and will take the necessary precaution of buying fifteen more guns.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Issa has already smeared the walls of his private bunker with bacon grease to stop their evil Islam-o-rays.

    • lroom

      I swear if I read that on some crazy winger’s website I’m blaming you guys. It’s a LIEbrul ConSpiracy!!!11!

  • jviscont1

    ” God used the ”Trail of Tears” to bring many Indians to Christ.”
    Good to know the church had dropped Torquemada’s playbook by then.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “I brought many Indians to Christ [Allegedly] without any genocide, thank you very much.” — St. Thomas the Apostle

      • WeaselPoo

        Christ, I bought a lot of Indians! St. Thad the Bpostle.

      • H0mer0

        I was told he was buggering the Indians for Christ (S.O. used to be in the seminary)and that was why he was “martyred”

  • Latverian Diplomat

    So, just to be clear, Closing Guantanamo is just like the Trail of Tears, Roe v. Wade is just like Dred Scott, and Kim Davis is just like MLK Jr. Anything else conservative white people would like to misappropriate today?

    • Pickwicknext

      Give them an hour, I’m sure they’ll come up with something

    • Rick Hill

      Listening to this guy is just like the South seceding from the Union?

      • Pickwicknext

        I was going more along the lines of following the village idiot, but, in the end, same thing

    • elviouslyqueer

      Obama is just like Hitler. NEVAR FORGIT.

    • SpideySenser

      The grade school kids call it “Opposite Day”.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        If you’re a Republican, every day is “Opposite Day”.

    • TheBidenator

      Gun nuts are just like Rosa Parks….that one still gets me.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Yes, that’s another great example.

    • MarkM

      Pat Boone is just like Howlin’ Wolf, Kenny G is just like Miles Davis, Judge Wapner is just like George Thurgood Marshal, Air National Guard hero Dubya is just like those Tuskegee Airmen…

    • WhyFelicia

      My legs are just like Beyoncé’s?

      • SpideySenser

        I like to imagine mine are more like Tina Turner’s.

    • mtn_philosoph

      Hey Apple, FBI Director James Comey wants to be your new “backdoor” man.

    • mtn_philosoph

      In his campaign stump speeches Donald Trump is inspiring his people just like Cesar Chavez.

    • Naytch

      Look, he used ‘Democratic” correctly in a sentence!! Babysteps… or in the case of Darrell, shorter tantrums.

  • arglebargle

    So, you ignore the Supreme Court if you don’t like their ruling, but you support the Supreme Court when they rule against a President you dislike.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Duh, democracy.

    • MarkM

      Standard GOP playbook.

  • Not So Much

    Still one of the most punchable faces in Congress.

  • arglebargle

    Not too many people call Andrew Jackson “Andy”. Good to know he feels so intimate with a genocidal maniac.

  • Msmlg1979

    Is it just me, or is this guy talking out of his ass?

    • A Grumpy Cat

      I feel like this is an insult to people who talk out of their asses? Somehow?

    • MarkM

      Judging by the fecal mist that wafts about whenever Rep. Issa opens his mouth, I’d say it isn’t just you…

      • Msmlg1979

        Stupid AND smelly.

  • A Grumpy Cat

    I’ve read this article three fucking times and I have no fucking clue what the fuck is going on.

    • vivian

      It’s like trying to find vectors in a bowl of jello.

    • SDGeoff

      Nothing. Just nothing.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Clearly you need to drink more, obvs.

      • A Grumpy Cat

        It’s mah birthday so I will totally be doing that later. Whooooooo.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Happy Bidet!

    • Msmlg1979

      That means you’re on the right track.

    • MarkM

      Join the club.

  • proudgrampa

    “God used the ”Trail of Tears” to bring many Indians to Christ.”

    Hasa diga eebowai.

  • WackMeStupid

    I thought the trail of tears was something involving John Boehner and Glen Beck?

  • nightmoth

    This story merits a great big What the Everlasting Fuck!!?? Also, the christianist homeschool kids next door told me that God let the Indians be almost wiped out because they wouldn’t listen to the missionaries and refused to accept Christ. So the Trail of Tears was Jeebus giving the Injuns one last chance?

    • Msmlg1979

      Behold His infinite mercy!

      • MarkM

        His mercy has always seemed decidedly finite to me.

    • Courser

      Hnnn. Issa sounds a hell of a lot like that wingnut fucknozzle who said that God gave the Jews tons of chances before he unleashed Hitler on them.

      The Repugnathins don’t seem to have a lot of narratives for fucked up shit, so they keep recycling them.

      Fuck their recycled bullshit

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Well, if Bamz is trying to get this disgusting internment camp mess cleaned up before the next President, I say go for it.

  • SDGeoff

    What the hell is this damn asshat’s agony this time? I’m not in his district, but it is pretty close to San Diego. He used to be on the teevee all the time on local “news” programs, usually just talking out of his ass. This is the first (thank jeebus) I’ve heard from or about him in months!

  • logocracy

    Well, speaking as a Californian, sorry you have to listen to this feral gargler of dead men’s nut sacks…

    • SDGeoff

      Oooh, now; I like that one.

    • Yr. Gma

      We have our share of wingnuts, sharing a border with Arizona and all that.

  • beatbort

    Just like the Cherokee, the Gitmo detainees feel their cages in Cuba are their homeland and, being yanked from the place where their ancestors lived, is cruel and unusual. Obama will probably literally march them across the land, too.
    What an evil tyrant

  • GDleftyPart2

    Just once, just fucking once I’d like one of these fuckers to actually open that history book that replaced the broken couch leg.
    I know, I’m dreaming…..

    • SessileRaptor

      That there book larnin’ aint ta be trusted. Books is fulla commie liberal stuff like “facts” an’ “information.”

      Just stick with what we tells ya the bible says an’ what we tells ya the founding fathers thought.

  • TheBidenator

    tastes….MMMMM, mmmhm that’s some good fearmongering. A little oily and fire buggy but I like the ridiculous citation of an event with absolutely no basis of comparison just to make it sound inhumane to close GITMO…nice job, sleazy D

    • beatbort

      Sleazy D? Isn’t that one of those rapsters who was knocking up all the ladies in Maine?

      • LegionOfDo

        I thought it was the off-brand version of Sunny D.

      • chazmanr

        No, that was Shifty and Money D (totally different non-white guys).

  • TheBidenator

    Why didn’t he just go with the usual measured wingnuttery and say, “the Holocaust was only possible because the military followed orders to kill Jews so if the military followers orders to close Gitmo then they are following HITLER”. You’re a fucking lightweight, Darrell Thiefing Firebug Issa….

  • TheBidenator

    Is it just me or do anyone else get the feeling that if someone lit a match too close to Darrell Issa that he’d go up like the Hindenburg?

    • Iam Reading

      Holy water would have a similar effect

    • Rotisserie Teal

      Or at least one of his factories would.

    • jmk

      It’s not just you. When I remember that he managed a little light arson on his own, I think that maybe he’s braver than we gave him credit for.

  • Treg.Brown

    “God used the ”Trail of Tears” to bring many Indians to Christ.”

    About to be canonized Father Junipero Serra libelz!!11!

  • clubseal

    Sorry if someone else has posted this, but –
    “illegal, unconstitutional, and dangerous” sounds kind like the perfect description of Guantanamo, the symbol of our slavish devotion to dissolving our values for “safety.”

  • Scooby

    Wait, So a US naval base is not US soil? Did anyone tell John McCain?

    • Biff52

      Panama Canal Zone=Guantanamo, therefore Juan McCans is an enemy combatant!

      • Scooby

        Canada too

      • H0mer0

        Is this good news for “Juan”?

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    “….willing to ignore the law and his Oath.”
    Kind of like not holding confirmation hearings for a supreme court nominee?

    • WeaselPoo

      Nope. Not even close. Nothing like that at all. Nosiree.

  • chazmanr

    What is the stuttering car thief bloviating about now?

    • Rotisserie Teal

      ‘stuttering car thief, ARSONIST’

      Fixed it for you.

  • Rotisserie Teal

    J.H. fucking Christ. Is there no bottom to the cesspool of humanity contained within the skin sack that is Issa? Tuesday morning is a little early in the week to start drinking, even for me. But this ludicrous/offensive/idiotic analogy has me contemplating a double Chivas with an arsenic chaser.

    Stick a fork in us. We’re done.

    • RepubAnon

      So does this mean that Mr. Issa wants President Obama’s picture on the $20 bill?

  • jwtukker

    “Issa vowed that Congress would oppose…”, well, pretty much anything except another DOA bill to repeal Obamacare.

  • Scooby

    in the Cherokees defense I would also rather die than have to live in Oklahoma.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    Don’t you worry, America. When President Trump sends 11 million people on a new trail of tears, he’ll make sure he has the approval of Congress and the courts (btw all court appointments are on hold until Trump is inaugurated).

    And if they’re really lucky, they might get to rest by the side of the road on Sundays.

  • Erick the Kracker

    God is using Wonkette to bring me to Dirty Prom Pics.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      God is using only one of my hands to type.

      • janecita

        Praise the Lord! Hallelujah

  • janecita

    It’s hard to hate this asshole, when he looks exactly like my late father’s favorite singer

    • It’s very easy for me to hate him. I just have to recall all those nights of sleep ruined by the Viper car alarm.
      ~

      • kareemachan

        It was the only time I’ve *ever* been tempted to scratch up a car. But when the car is braying “Stand back – this car is protected by VIPER!!!!!” when you’re walking on the effing sidewalk, it was hard not to.

        • H0mer0

          I hate it when I’m attacked by snakes while walking on the sidewalk, especially snakes on a car.

    • mfp

      oh…uhh…nevermind…expected to see photo of shemp howard

  • URQ196

    I thought this asshole was in jail.

  • chicken thief

    So the MooseLimbs are just like the Cherokee (so where’s their primo weed?!) which makes Issa just like Rosa Parks, because he is standing firm against tranny?

  • chicken thief

    I suspect the GOP has a pinwheel of historical events somewhere, so whenever they want to rail against Obama (every day) they just spin the wheel and claim whatever is happening is just like _______ .

    • WhyFelicia

      Neville Chamberlain!!

    • bookish

      Sleepy Ben has a new twist. Bamz isn’t really black, or black enough, or some damn thing. Bamz doesn’t really understand the black experience, because raised white. While black. Or something. i can’t keep up with the reasons why Bamz isn’t qualified by reason of melanin, heritage, birth, culture, religion, and so on. I guess Bamz has no shot at that third term.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    There are actually people still in prison in Guantanamo? I thought we tortured them all into drooling subhuman idiots.

    • WhyFelicia

      You raise a good point. We don’t need any more Republicans on the US mainland. Perhaps we should leave them in Cuba after all.

      • H0mer0

        “Bay of Pigs, redux” (maybe Rubio and the Miami Cubans can finish what Kennedy failed to do)

    • bobbert

      I read that at first as “suburban idiots”. Hey, it could work.

  • Mintie

    So wait–he’s making the detainees walk from Cuba to the Federal prisons on the mainland?

    • AnOuthouse

      You know who else walked on water?

      • Skadi

        Chance the gardener?

      • mtn_philosoph

        The Imperial Russian Army, advancing across submerged bridges?

  • vixenmonkey

    My grandmother is returning from the grave to kick this guy’s butt.

  • Candy Apple

    Like any Republican gives a shit about the Cherokee, ever.

    • Takoma DC

      Ikr. I still can’t understand how any Native American could vote republican let alone be a gop rep. Yet there are 2. Mark Wayne Mullin and Tom Cole. There was 1 Dem but he lost his seat in midterms.

  • Jen_Baker_VA

    Uhm….the Trail of Tears was not considered unconstitutional because them injuns were not white. Sort of like how the Republicans think Bamz is not constitutional because the blah guy isn’t white.
    See? Parallels!

    • Zhu Bajie

      Indians were not US citizens until the 1920s, I believe. Nearly all US presidents in the 19th century, no matter what faction they belonged to, treated Indians brutally.

  • The Molten Soul

    Dear Mr. Issa,
    Stop pretending you give one iota of a fuck about us.
    Sincerely,
    The Indians

    • zerosumgame0005

      p.s. everyone else also, too

  • chadingo

    I hadn’t thought of it until you mentioned his “snarling face,” but Issa does look like Snarly Fiorina’s twin.

  • shastakoala

    I have this intense need to listen to “Paul Revere and the Raiders.” I don’t know whether to be thrilled or horrified.

    • SDGeoff

      It made a pretty good impression in its time. As I am A Old, I remember it well. However, it was one of those songs that the kids sang without being educated about the context and history. It simply made them feel noble.
      The topic was not ever, ever mentioned in the required American History classes through my senior year of high school, 1970. I’ve refreshed my education since then.

      This might be a good time for Wonkettes to share some good reading hints!

      • shastakoala

        Paul Revere was a local celebrity around here. He lived just down the street from us for many years. Also, when I was a young teen he would show up at Warm Lake, Idaho ( where we had a cabin) and surprise everyone with impromptu concerts at a nearby lodge. Great memories.

        I think I educated myself by devouring books on Native American history. Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee, Chief Joseph and Trail of Tears were real eye openers.

        • H0mer0

          I listened to “Bury My Heart” in a book on tape during my long drives to and from work. It was eye opening and I felt nauseated from hearing one sad story after another. It was written and read (aloud) so well that it kept my attention.

    • doktorzoom

      Here you go. I had the blasted thing going through my head all afternoon anyway :)

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ojRQ15My7s

      • shastakoala

        Thanks Dok! At least you had something to keep that nasty head cold company. Hurry and get better. :)

      • Zippy

        I did a show with them about 16-18 years ago, some big city event. By then, Paul’s main job was to walk around in costume, Mark carried the band, the old guitar player had another guy ghosting the hard parts and Ron Foos the bass player was never even plugged in the system, because he was too old to play at that point so they usd track.

        • gedjcj

          Ouch. That is sad.

          • Zippy

            It’s not that uncommon with some of these oldies bands

          • gedjcj

            What do you think? Do they need the money, or can they just not give it up?

          • Zippy

            Both

          • gedjcj

            Okay, then.

        • zerosumgame0005

          Saw Roger Waters at Earl’s Court in London a few years ago, the same kind of thing. He needed fill in singers for the screechy parts of course but it was still a great concert, flying pig and all :)

          • Zippy

            Roger can still play a mean guitar- I can forgive anyone who loses some of their vocal range as they get older. Some of these oldies acts though are really nothing more than novelty acts completely relying on nostalgia

          • zerosumgame0005

            yep, the other singers blended nicely and nobody let their ego’s take over. of course the brownies I had smuggled in from Amsterdam maybe helped a bit :)

          • Celtic_Gnome

            Saw the Monkees in the 80’s. Well, three of them anyway. Mike Nesmith didn’t seem to keen on the nostalgia trip. At the end of the concert, they bowed deeply, and Mickey Dolenz had a huge bald spot on top of his head. I wept.

          • Enfant Terrible

            Did Jimi Hendrix open for the Monkees? (True story!)

        • Me not sure

          I saw them play off the back of a flat bed semi in the sixties. They were a good show band, with all of the costumes and choreography.

  • Cheesus Crust

    The Trail Of Tears – my great something grandfather married a Cherokee lady and then helped the Army push her family off it’s land. He was rewarded with some thousand acres of wilderness near the TN/NC line. He put the land up as collateral on a loan, and failed to pay back said loan, losing the land.

    The area today is known as “The Dragon’s Tail” near Deals Gap, NC.

    Ahhh, karma.

  • clubseal
  • Zhu Bajie

    So is Issa going to return the Black Hills to the Sioux, etc., etc.? Didn’t think so.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Damn you Darrell Issa.

    https://youtu.be/0NZbkuPi2_Y

  • Celtic_Gnome

    “The fact is, it is very hard to stop a president from doing something if he’s willing to ignore the law and his Oath.”

    Interestingly, that same observation easily applies to Congress.

  • alnnc

    Of course it’s dangerous. If one of our superbly trained police officers gunned down a naked, unarmed black guy running in the street because the cop feared for his life, imagine how fearful we would be if we had a few alleged Muslim terrorists locked up in a maximum security federal prison. In solitary confinement.

  • Dr. Krieger IRL
  • Jamsie

    I knew that human oil slick would have to put his two cents worth in.

    If anyone deserves to be locked up in gitmo, it’s him.

  • therblig

    i understand that issa is so principled on this issue, he will not accept bribes containing 20 dollar bills.

  • kaw143

    “Andy Jackson, the founder of the Democratic party if you will”

    Actually, it has nothing to do with whether or not I will, it is history that won’t and doesn’t.

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