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Champers all right for you, Pats? Lovely, Sweetie.
Champers all right for you, Pats? Lovely, Sweetie.

So let’s say you’re the governor of a state where a city of 100,000 souls has been in the news because you poisoned the water, and where roughly 9,000 children have been exposed to lead, a neurotoxin for which there is no safe level at all. Let us say further that it’s becoming increasingly clear that your administration caused the disaster through a combination of criminal ineptitude and malignant neglect. While we’re at it, let’s say that the people who have been poisoned are for the most part poor and black, while you, the state’s governor, are rich and white. You know what professional public relations firms (which in your case you have got — two of ’em, in fact) would probably suggest you not do? Throw a lavish birthday party for your wife with a custom-made birthday cake made to look like packages from Chanel, Tiffany, and Nordstrom, draped with a jeweled necklace, with a fancy-schmancy Michael Kors handbag, also made of cake. Just an idea.

And yet that appears to be exactly how Rick Snyder, the Republican governor of Michigan, celebrated his wife Sue’s birthday at a pricey restaurant last Saturday. Michigan blogger Mark Maynard has some of the details of the alleged goings-on, which we will very responsibly note come from unnamed sources (who were dead on in describing the cake). Maynard doesn’t name the restaurant, but Mlive’s Jessica Webster confirms it was one of the Snyders’ favorite restaurants, Ann Arbor’s West End Grill; its windows were reportedly blacked out so that the commoners wouldn’t see what their betters were getting up to in there:

As is generally the case these days, it didn’t take too long for word about what had taken place inside this lavish party to leak out. Within a few days, I’d be hearing about the ostentatious decorations, the banners, and the birthday cake, which, if you can believe it, was made to look like a diamond necklace draped over a Nordstrom’s box.

And by golly, look at the photos on Instagram by Ann Arbor cake arteeste Heather Anne Leavitt. You got your diamond necklace, your Nordstrom box, and your Kors handbag, complete with stitching done in frosting:

snydercake 3

Ms. Leavitt confirmed to MLive Life & Culture reporter Jessica Webster that the cake was for Sue Snyder’s party, and that it took roughly 30 hours to construct. It’s really a work of art, and Ms. Leavitt did some beautiful work. [Update: Leavitt didn’t know who the client was until she delivered the cake; see update at end of post] Get a load of this necklace, which is “made from fondant and royal icing attached to floral wire”:

snydercake 2

Beverly Hills surgeon explains at home fix for crepey skin around the arms, legs, and stomach.

We bet Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette had cakes that looked almost as good. And we also bet that there isn’t so much as a single part per billion of lead in that frosting. Clearly, a lot of planning went into that cake, and lord only knows the rest of the party was almost certainly as beautiful. As Mark Maynard says, a birthday party and a cake are nice things. But the timing might be a little off:

Had I been in a similar situation, though, I’m relatively certain that I would have forgone a party, asking friends instead to give money to the Flint Child Health and Development Fund. “You know what,” I’d probably say, “as much as I love my wife, I just don’t think that we should be getting drunk and dancing around a big, creamy-frosting-filled Nordstrom’s box right now.” But, then again, I have a little bit of my soul left. And, perhaps more importantly, I’m not so delusional as to think that something like this wouldn’t get out.

Or maybe if you’re Rick Snyder, you know that nobody in Flint is ever going to vote for you anyway, which is why those people were disposable in the first place. Why not have a party, since you know that your pals in Congress won’t even be calling you to testify when they hold a hearing on Flint?

Who knows, maybe during the party they even had a little jar for people to leave donations to buy Flint more bottled water. We don’t know that they did, but it might have been a nice gesture. In any case, the ostentatious cake was just the least bit unseemly, what with the children in Flint at risk for life-changing damage that’s likely to result in lower IQ, a predisposition to violence, learning disabilities, stunted growth, and a whole bunch of other health problems, which are neither sweet nor particularly nice to depict in fondant and royal icing.

Sincere smith time flint

Maybe someone from Flint could make a cake recreating the cover of Time Magazine, with Detroit Free Press photographer Regina Boone’s haunting photo of 2-year-old Sincere Smith, who lives in Flint and has severe rashes all over his body thanks to being bathed in Flint water. You wouldn’t need to go the whole 3-D route, just one of those photo transfer cakes that they do at the supermarket bakeries. Deliver that to the governor at his office, with a note saying “Thinking Of You At Election Time.”

UPDATE: Mark Maynard has updated his blog to note that baker Heather Anne Leavitt had no idea who the cake was for when she took the order and constructed the ornate confection. According to Mlive’s full article, Leavitt only discovered that the cake was for the Snyders when she delivered it:

I had no idea, like seriously no idea,” laughed Leavitt. “We delivered it to the West End Grill and put it down and I’m taking photos of the cake. Then Claudia, who was also working on the cake with me, looks up and sees Rick Snyder on all the photos in the room, and so we put two and two together. We knew that renting out West End Grill is not a cheap thing to do on a Saturday night, but we have a lot of high end clients. We just didn’t know this one was the governor.”

(We were originally working only from a photo post with captions; links have been updated in this story.)

And a big hat tip to Mr. Maynard for linking to our story as well!

[Mark Maynard via Wonkette Operative lmworks / Detroit News / Mlive / Flint Child Health and Development Fund / Daily Beast / Time]

  • hvdv

    This is the most embarrassing thing I’ve seen in a long time. It’s up there with “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?”

  • Anarchy Pony

    They should send one of those cakes to Snyder’s office every day.

    • natoslug

      Baked with only the finest ingredients found in the Flint river.

      • HogeyeGrex

        Do they have lightly salted, poisoned rat dicks in the Flint River?

        • Billy Rubin

          My good sir or madam, I can asure you: Flint River rat dicks are famously lightly salted *and* poisoned. Nothing is left to chance.

  • Joshua Norton

    Meh. Nordstrom’s is low rent. The baby blue box is obviously from Tiffany’s baby! Now that’s real klass!!

  • orygoon

    That noise–I hope it’s of pitchforks being sharpened.

  • natoslug

    Great. End the week with an article that is almost impossible to comment on while still following the rules for commenting radicals. Guess it’s time to get creative with our phrasing . . .

    May Snyder and company experience nothing less than what they deserve. May none of their illnesses be trivial and all their sadness unending.

  • DT

    Even if we forget about the mass poisonings (NO WE WILL NOT FORGET ABOUT THE MASS POISONINGS, RICK) and all the other shitty things he’s done (NO WE WILL NOT FORGET ALL THE OTHER SHITTY THINGS YOU HAVE DONE, RICK) this is just… the most tacky, tasteless, delusional rich assholishness I have ever seen.

    • Pisto75666

      Welcome to Michigan politics.

  • natoslug

    Sadly, he probably saw absolutely no problem with this.

  • Helena Handbag

    Despicable doesn’t even begin to cover it

  • nightmoth

    Ladies were taught that if you can’t say something nice, say nothing at all, so Heather Anne, that cake really is a fucking work of art: it’s amazing! and Snyders, NOTHING AT ALL, childfuckers!

    • Zippy

      The cake really is a work of art, Snyder OTOH is a real piece of work

    • sei2011 .

      Apparently Ms. Leavitt didn’t know who the cake was for until she delivered it. I’m sure she would have included some buried lead pipes, if she’d known.

  • Zippy

    These are definitely NOT the cakes we liek

  • cheetojeebus

    Well, Isn’t that sweet…

  • natoslug

    Would’ve been a real shame if everyone at the party choked on pieces of floral wire.

  • Spotts1701

    Chutzpah doesn’t even begin to describe this behavior.

    • weejee

      Terminal Schmuckosis?

  • Anna Elizabeth

    Would it be against commenting rules to wonder if their are American Robespierres and Napoleons waiting to take the stage?

    • doktorzoom

      Only if you posted it to Tumbrelr.

      • Zippy

        let them eat cake…

    • weejee

      Knit one, purl two might be at the cutting edge.

      • BadKitty904

        We’ll save you a seat in front of the National Razor.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Oh, we already know there are! They’re just more interested in grazing rights.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        XD

      • Billy Rubin

        Those guys are the bumbling, ill-fated royalist counter-revolutionaries.

  • Zippy

    At least Snyder was kind enough to offer the residents of Flint a 30% discount for the water they can’t drink- what a mensch…

    http://www.dailykos.com/story/2016/2/4/1479801/-Michigan-Governor-Rick-Snyder-calls-for-30-discount-for-lead-poisoned-water

    • Spotts1701

      “Thanks for the sour persimmons, cousin.”

    • Left Coast Tom

      When friends in Michigan have told me about their water bills I’ve been stunned – and I live in California. That 30% reduction is from really high rates.

    • Courser

      I’d go ahead and let em shut off the water. It’s only good for flushing the toilet anyway.

      But that’s me – I live alone. I don’t honestly know how those poor folks manage.

      • Vienna Woods

        But if they don’t have running water, family services can take their children away.

        • Courser

          True, which is why I clarified that I live alone (and don’t have kids)

          It’s one reason the whole ordeal is such a clusterfuck. In reality having this particular running water is a huge health risk! Furthermore, it’s extremely doubtful that they’ll have anything remotely close to potable water in the foreseeable future. It will take an enormous infrastructure investment to replace all the supply lines for the city. Which doesn’t even begin to address each and every home plumbing system in the city. Who’s going to pay for that, huh? Let’s put it this way. Gov. Dickface Snyder won’t tap into the huge surpluses he’s sitting on at the state level to provide even a single fucking bottle of water to the beleaguered citizens of Flint.

          I foresee this dragging on and on and ON for years.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Remember, he’s a bidness man. He has a responsibility to the shareholders.

      • eggsacklywright

        He’s Milo Minderbinder.

        • MilwaukeeKent

          Calling in bombs on his own troops to protect his cotton futures hedge, wasn’t it. Apt. It fits him.

  • lucidamente

    Ok, now he’s just trying to be the next Bob McDonnell.

  • MorganX

    “But, then again, I have a little bit of my soul left”; never going to be a problem for Rick, or Sue Snyder, whom I have no doubt decreed this specific cake for her party.

  • handyhippie65

    no one expects the french revolution! my pichfork is nice and sharp, how ’bout yours?

    • Badger33

      Sharpening my guillotine.

      • Zippy

        not me- I want it rusty and dull for this one, so it’ll take that much longer to finish the job

    • yyyaz

      Restocking my pine knots. Just in case it gets really cold in the near future.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      I am knitting as we speak.

  • Logic of Color

    Wow, bet they got that from the Krazy Kake Klub

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Nice work Ms. Leavitt. But if you feel that Karma demands discounts on your next few gay wedding cakes, we’ll understand.

  • E S

    So much cooler if they’d done a Midas Muffler, a lamp from Furniture Outlet, or a nice Kenmore upright from Sears, take your pick. Much rather have a nice Oldenburg cigarette butt than a tacky Kors bag. Arrivistes.

  • weejee

    Is there anyway Snyder’s icing could be ruled a 5 minute major penalty plus a DQ?

    • Logic of Color

      3-term suspension?

    • shastakoala

      Dairy Queen would have been a more appropriate place to buy a cake.

      • doktorzoom

        Marie Callender Antoinette’s, too

        • cousin itt

          Did you know Marie was Curieous?

          • MilwaukeeKent

            What made Marie Curieous is the same thing that made Helen Gurley Brown, Shirley Temple Black and Fred W. Friendly!

      • Left Coast Tom

        What would have been appropriate is a modest private home party.

        It’s not just the cake, the venue was a well-known expensive place – which I guess is how this became public in the first place.

    • ThePuckStopsHere

      No, but he could receive match penalty for Deliberate Intent to Injure (our sensibilities).

    • yyyaz

      Did the zebras miss the obvious high-sticking it to the public?

  • Badger33

    I’m reminded of that photo where Mussolini and his family and cohorts were hung upside down in a square in Milan so the citizens could spit on them.

  • Major_Major_Major

    Dearest Governor Snyder,
    I hope you get [redacted] on your [redacted] that develops into terminal [redacted] on your [redacted] of which the only cure is to have rabid weasels gnaw your[redacted] completely off. After which, the people of flint can take turns[redacted] you until[redacted].
    Sincerely,
    M3
    P.S.[redacted[redacted] with a post hole digger sideways.

    • Spotts1701

      Oof, glad you didn’t suggest [redacted]. That might’ve been too much.

      • Left Coast Tom

        Pity Michigan’s voters didn’t redact him with votes.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        No it wouldn’t. It’d be almost enough. I’d go so far as [redacted][redacted][redacted][redacted], and then [redacted][redacted] with a [redacted], followed by [redacted].

        • Amy!

          Fargo’s not even in Michigan!

        • fka_donnie_d

          Loosely quoted from 70’s MAD magazine

          This is a censor

          He makes sure readers never see words like [censored],[censored], and [censored].

          As well as [censored] and also [censored].

          Is it possible our censors are full of [censored]?

          Also, some asshole made a meme of George Carlin’s conservatives preborn bit, and the censored “fucked”. People are assholes.

          • Vienna Woods

            I haven’t heard this since the 70’s, so not an accurate transcription, from Dr Bundolo’s Pandemonium Medicine Show on CBC radio:
            supposed to have been taped at lumber camp, edited for radio:
            “honk honk!”
            “Honk honk honk the honk”
            “Who the honk stole my honkin’ beer?”

            It was a great show.

      • Incoming Ham

        No kidding, [redacted] is practically libelous.

        • Genevieve Faucette

          ❝my .friend’s mate Is getting 98$. HOURLY. on the internet❞….A few days ago new McLaren. F1 bought after earning 18,512$,,,this was my previous month’s paycheck ,and-a little over, 17k$ Last month ..3-5 h/r of work a days ..with extra open doors & weekly. paychecks.. it’s realy the easiest work I have ever Do.. I Joined This 7 months ago and now making over 87$, p/h.Learn. More right Here;b506➤➤➤➤➤ http://GlobalSuperEmploymentVacanciesReportsHit/GetPaid/98$hourly…. .❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:::::;b506…….

    • eggsacklywright

      If a post-hole digger is not available, a frozen anvil will suffice.

      • HogeyeGrex

        Rusty Garden Weasel in a pinch.

    • HanBarbara

      Looks like one of his e-mails, except that yours has less stuff redacted

    • Sam Hain

      [Double Secret Redacted] You Snyder!

  • MorganX

    “Heck of a job, Snydie!”

  • Thaumaturgist

    lack of insight

    No hope of rehabilitation until you develop insight.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    *if* there is some sort of American Napoleon out there, I’d like to submit that I have a temper like Michel Ney, and a fashion sense superior to Joachim Murat.

    In other words, there is a Baton in my handbag.

  • Shrieking Denizen

    Sue and Rick agree: this is the cake we liek.

  • shastakoala

    Is the zipper on that hand bag gold leaf or gold paint chips?

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Might be gold leaf, for real. It IS edible.

      • shastakoala

        Yes and quite beautiful.

        • cousin itt

          I like it when my shit has that special glitter to it.

          • shastakoala

            Ha!

    • God Zilla

      Yes, lead paint chips.

  • Goposaur

    this is gonna leave a mark

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Nope. Not even a scratch.

  • Incoming Ham

    Nordstrom? Seriously? Girlfriend – you need to go for the Needless Markup*. His gift vendor choices point out his lack of judgement in picking out gifts – and oh – water vendors.

    *That’s Neiman Marcus for the non-ladies-who-lunch. Ugh.

    • Vienna Woods

      He’s probably only going for what she likes. But then, she married him, so…

      • Incoming Ham

        Perhaps he asked the baker his/her opinion, because “All women like the same stuff.”

  • data_ninja

    For various reasons right now, I’m reminded of The Masque of the Red Death by Edgar Allen Poe. You could modernize it and have Quentin Tarantino add it to his collection of revenge fantasy movies.

    To be clear, I’m not wishing death (or pain, the pain!) upon any of these myopic asshats, but the whole “having a party while the plague is outside” is strikingly similar.

  • Pinkham’s Law

    I will give the artist ALL KINDS of crazy credit for that fabulous, flawless cake, and even more approbation on the clueless idiot that thought this was a good idea.

  • HITO

    Elitist pieces of shit…looking forward to dancing gleefully upon hearing that you are burning in hell, Snyders.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    “It was an Age of Wisdom, it was an Age of Foolishness…”

    • MilwaukeeKent

      “…it was an age of corporate assholes trying to run government like a business and failing miserably.”

  • DemmeFatale

    The Donald approves, (and wants the name of the baker).

    • Major_Major_Major

      He has even shortlisted Snydely Dicklash as a potential veep.

      • Pickwicknext

        Best. Name. Ever.

  • Pinkham’s Law

    To add insult to injury, all of that is covered in fondant. Fondant SUCKS. They likely didn’t even eat this, just used it for display and had something else for the actual dessert.

    • Major_Major_Major

      Mrs_Major has done some amazing cakes over the years, often with fondant. Needless to say, that nastiness gets peeled off so that the cake can be eaten.

    • Pickwicknext

      I agree. Fondant makes things look super pretty. Tastes like dry paste. I’m sorry, but the best cake I ever make I failed to cool long enough before frosting, so it looked like a failed 3rd grade science expreriment. That fucking pile of oozey mess was fucking delicious!

    • Jenny

      Americans make fondant out of marshmallows and powdered sugar now. Completely different taste to the stuff made with gelatine and glycerin.

    • Vienna Woods

      Yeah, but soft bakery cake icing is worse. One of my sons insisted on bakery cake icing for his cake one year, so I dutifully found a recipe. Crisco and sugar and flour. Since then, I do not eat retirement, happy baby etc, cakes at school. I know they’re made with that shit.

  • Tallmutha

    …So I suggest you just throw them all away,
    The cake-bags that your scumbag husband didn’t have to break a sweat to buy.

  • Vecciojohn LLC

    rabble rabble tar feathers pitchfork tumbril revolutionary justice enemy of the People capitalist roader eaters of worker babies raper of working women wretched of the earth used car salesmen false consciousness

    blrf

    • Pinkham’s Law

      I assume the “blrf” was the last sound you made before you passed on from the massive ragestroke? We will remember you! (I lie. We will have forgotten you in 2 days. Unless you come back on the 3rd day!)

  • Pickwicknext

    I want to be all ragey about this. I truly do. I just don’t think I can. I may have rage-stroked out between work and republicans this week. What’s this stuff oozing out of my ears? Do i really need thise brain cells?

    • Major_Major_Major

      It has been a rough week, that is for damn sure. Thank the gods for malted barley and hops.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Fuck that weak shit. I need a vodka IV in here, STAT!

        • Major_Major_Major

          If I was hitting the vodka, I’d be ready to fill my empties with gasoline and rags.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Da, Tsovarich.

            For some silly reason starting last year, I’ve really gotten into learning about the Russian Revolution. There’s a Russian TV show on youTube, ‘The Passion of Chapaev”, he was a hero of the Red Army, and he had a hawt, machine-gun-shooting girlfriend named Anna.

            XD

          • Major_Major_Major

            I will have to check that out. I am admittedly a generalist when it comes to world history, I have read widely, but not deeply. My personal historical interests run antebellum US to post reconstruction ‘merica. And no, I don’t refer to it as the war of northern aggression.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Neither do I. :)

            I’m not an expert of the Civil War, but I like learning about it. My prime interests are the Napoleonic Wars, the Victorian era, WW2, and Cold War.

          • Major_Major_Major

            Ww2, and post WWI Europe are fascinating. I always struggle with European history any older than that as I can never keep straight which Charles/Louis/Henry etc is being referenced, and the referring to aristocracy by the title, ffs, lets make it a little more impenetrable for us heathen yanks.

          • MilwaukeeKent

            Been doing family genealogy for years, and still tangled up in the War of Religion, the Hundred Years War, etc. It’s like chopping through jungle.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I know what you mean. The Napoleonic Wars neck that down a bit, but the ruling family of the Austro-Hungarians is like “huh”?

            I know Henry V thanx to the Bard, but lose the bubble during the Wars of the Roses, and it’s difficult to get the Brits right til after the Restoration. France, Spain, et cetera? Fogeddaboutid.

          • Vienna Woods

            Oh, 15th Century England is fascinating!! But then, I majored in Medieval and STILL love it best- that, and early 19th Century Ontario history.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Nice! I’m an Anglophile, and I like miniature wargames, so I pick up a lot of the history.

            I’ve been thinking of getting a force for Wars of the Roses, I love the armour details and the livery, and there are some spectaular toy soldiers in plastic & metal for the period.

          • JH Marx

            My area is Wall St./Depression (nobody jumped out a window on Wall St.)
            And the constitutional convention, George Mason is my hero.

          • eggsacklywright

            Anything by Barbara Tuchman does it for me.

          • deanbooth

            If you’d like to expand to Russian history, I’d recommend the books by Robert Massie: Peter the Great, Catherine the Great, and Nicholas & Alexandra. Totally engrossing and entertaining.

        • eggsacklywright

          I’ll have you know that my New Belgium Trippel is 8.5 percent. So there.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          I used to do Bourbon, specifically Jeremiah Weed.

          That shit will fuck a girl up.

        • Pickwicknext

          I work with about 80 nurses and i can’t convince just one of them to do that or caffiene for me. Slackers

        • doktorzoom
      • Pickwicknext

        I would quaff some, but it’s too cold to go to a bar and i only have bailey’s at home. And nothing to mix the baileys’s in

        • Pinkham’s Law

          You’re out of coffee?

          • Pickwicknext

            I don’t drink the coffee ( don’t like the taste).

          • Pinkham’s Law

            Oh, you poor dear. *pats hand reassuringly*

          • Pickwicknext

            Thanks. I needed that!

            I have good to look forward to though. I am treating myslef to a double feature of Labyrinth and Serenity at the movieson Sunday. (Genre film fest week at my local theatee chain)

          • Pinkham’s Law

            Ohhh, Bowie! My fainting couch! Someone get my fainting couch!

          • Pickwicknext

            Those pants! That bulge! On the big screen!

          • Major_Major_Major

            Mmmmmm, Summer Glau and Jennifer Connolly. I’ll be in my bunk

          • Pickwicknext

            Bowie and Captain Tightpants for me!

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I’ll take Summer, Jennifer, *and* Bowie.

            Bi & greedy. XD

          • Celtic_Gnome

            Hear! Hear! I have drunk one whole cup of coffee in my life. 1974, home from college for Christmas break, a friend got a Mr. Coffee for his dorm room. Those things were like $80 then. We made a pot that was half coffee and half marijuana. I choked that whole cup down, and it was ice cold when I finished it.

            Since that time, no one’s offered me coffee with marijuana in it.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            That’s what the Bailey’s is for.

        • Left Coast Tom

          Mix it with what? Kahlua?

        • Major_Major_Major

          Pour it over your raisin bran, it is cream after all.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            A man after my own heart!

          • Pickwicknext

            No cereal either. I’ve already worked 40 hrs this week and I’m on tomorrow too, no time for groceries. I am rather pathetic right now. However, my tapwater is lead free, so I am better off than a Flint resident. Ooooo, a bright side!

          • malsperanza

            Just chug the stuff. Tastes better than cough syrup or Jagermeister. Think of it as liquid fondant.

          • Left Coast Tom

            The Breakfast of Champions!

          • JH Marx

            Nope

    • doktorzoom

      Fondant, possibly?

      • Pickwicknext

        Ewww! That’s worse than grey matter!

  • RobKanC

    Come on now. Are we going to blame Snyder because the evil government failed. What is he supposed to do? Take responsibility like some poor person. Oh please, the rich are not accountable for their own actions. I am pretty sure it is in one of the fine prints of the constitution. Probably.

    • Major_Major_Major

      Now that you mention it, I believe it is right after the part about how we are a christian nation, and all our rights are ordained by god.

      • yyyaz

        And the “death to the infidels” part.

        • Major_Major_Major

          I always forget that part, we were only taught the abridged constitution in civics. The full King Ammon version was too expensive to print out for the public school system, I guess.

          • RobKanC

            Damn liberals and their wussiness. They are turning this great country gay with their facts and reasoning.

          • Pickwicknext

            I like that the Canadian constitution was adopted within my life time. It means we can go up to the people who wrote it and go “WTF??!?!?”

  • Pinkham’s Law

    The sad part of Dok’s suggestion of sending a cake with the Time cover on it? All you would do is make some minimum wage employee feel even worse about who he has to work for. Snyder would immediately fire anybody who let him even know about such a subversive gift. You know I’m right.

    • yyyaz

      I thought the peeps who vote for these types of shitbags love the meme that they want a government that is “afraid of the people, not the other way around.” Gives my brain a big, sad hurt.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Hell, I like that meme. It’s one of the main reasons I don’t fall in line with the Wonkette consensus on gun control. “You can’t resist the Federal Government.” No, I can’t. But you? Yeah, if it comes to that, I can take care of *you.* God willing it never comes to that.

      • MilwaukeeKent

        I fear both, especially “the peeps who vote for these types of shitbags”.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Worked for a Republican Secretary of State. Won’t say which one, but his name might have rhymed with Knob Craft. His immediate underlings collected all mail addressed directly to the Secretary of State and opened them to weed out the complaints (there were more than a few of those), so they could address the issues raised without involving the boss, because he would go absolutely batshit crazy whenever he got bad news.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Beyond snark. This is beyond snark.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      You haven’t read the comments have you? But, I understand. They had two articles today that I just . . . couldn’t Just. No. Feel ya, comrade.

    • E S

      I know. I said something funny, got up, opened the fridge, thought, not funny, that little boy with rashes, not funny.

  • Thaumaturgist

    Heather Ann Leavitt is Snyder’s Annie Brahler. And may Rick go the way of Aaron.

  • cousin itt

    Fondant-covered anal beads you say?

    • eggsacklywright

      I’d gift him a cock ring made of live fire ants.

        • Major_Major_Major

          And a stimulating habenero based lubricant.

          • eggsacklywright

            And a Scotch Bonnet. Just for the tip.

        • eggsacklywright

          Ain’t nature wonderful?

        • cousin itt

          Wait. Isn’t that. The eye. Of. Jesus?

        • Vienna Woods

          Ooookay. Reason #345 for living in the frosty north.

    • Major_Major_Major

      If they were covered in fondant, they would be marginally more appetizing after use. Jess sayin’

    • Snyder can stick that cake right up his fondant.

  • True Patriot

    That Snyder is still in office is amazing

    • Villago Delenda Est

      That Snyder is still alive is amazing.

      • BadKitty904

        That Snyder isn’t in prison is amazing.

        • MarkM

          The sad thing is…it really ISN’T amazing…

          • BadKitty904

            He remains in office because the people of Michigan let him remain in office. This is apparently the government they want?

          • MarkM

            More likely the government they don’t give a damn about. Voter ignorance and apathy are the reason bad governments exist.

  • Jenny

    That cake is really well done. I don’t think I could afford that cake. Let alone the actual items depicted in it.

    At least he celebrated his wife’s birthday instead of forgetting it? I dunno. I don’t have anything else positive to say.

  • 24601
    • eggsacklywright

      I’m not familiar with fancy pastries. Is that a ladyfinger?

      • BadKitty904

        A lady middle-finger, I think.

    • D_C_Wilson

      Is that doggie doo icing?

      • 24601

        Shhh. Don’t tell Rick.

    • MilwaukeeKent

      Fuck you, Shit-cake! When you want to send a message that you really care…Man, that is a thing of beauty.

  • malsperanza

    Zippy said it, but bears repeating: THESE ARE NOT THE CAKES WE LIKE.

  • Apple Scruff

    God, that cake is so unrealistic. Anyone who shops at Chanel wouldn’t be caught dead with a Michael Kors bag.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      :) Roger that, Affirm.

      My Mom and I traditionally buy each other perfume at Christmas. She *loves* the Chance eau Tendre I got her from Chanel.

      She got me my signature scent – Killer Queen by Katy Perry. I love candy scents, so feminine, and I don’t clash with the florals Mom wears.

  • cousin itt

    Macy’s too low rent?

  • 24601

    It’s time to employ the type of ‘in your face’ civic activism employed by the good and fed up folks of New Zealand….https://media.giphy.com/media/eHUBlva08P3RS/giphy.gif

    • cousin itt

      With stiletto votes.

      • 24601

        That’s not a shoe….

        • cousin itt

          Ah, I didn’t know they could fly.

          • 24601

            Oh, you have no idea! https://youtu.be/CF19VTk3ke0

          • cousin itt

            Fly me to the Moon!

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            LOL at the musical accompaniment!

          • JaaaaaCeeeee
          • BadKitty904

            They’re slippery lil’ devils!

          • cousin itt

            OK, thanks a lot. This is like the second night in a row a perfectly good mouthful of cabernet has ended up on my keyboard.

          • BadKitty904

            I feels. My semi-new laptop already reeks of tea.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Oops. You’re right.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Dildos would be a lot cheaper than some shoes. Not the good ones, but you’re not going to throw a good one at Snyder.

    • The Wanderer

      Boot to the head?
      No!
      DILDO TO THE FACE!

  • pixiedust8

    The cake is stunning. The artist is truly talented. But a Michael Kors purse? Nordstrom? So middle to upper-middle class. You know the wifey was probably embarrassed.

    As for Snyder, HOW IS HE NOT IN JAIL?!

    • Apple Scruff

      Nah. The wife is probably just a basic label whore who thinks Michael Kors bags with those giant fugly logos are SO FASHUN!!!

      • eggsacklywright

        It always amazes me that people will buy shit with advertising on it and think it’s cool.

        • Major_Major_Major

          Even more amazing, paying someone to advertise for them. That’s fuckin’ A Murca, there

        • Apple Scruff

          They pay to be walking billboards, evidently.

        • MarkM

          Pay a ridiculous amount of money for a tacky piece of crap that advertises for the company that MADE the tacky piece of crap…probably in China. Make sense to me!

        • Vienna Woods

          But but but if there isn’t a label, HOW will peeeple know you paid lots of money and are therefore a RICH!

          • LarkintheAM

            When I was living in Cincinnati many moons ago, there was still a member of the progressive (Republican!) Tafts still alive. His name was Charlie Taft and he was all about good governance. For a brief time, Cincinnati had a city manager and a “neutral” political party called the Charter Party, and he was the one who brought that to fruition. He was the first Charter Party mayor and he was a legend around town because, in spite of the fact that he was really old money, he drove a beat-up Chevy station wagon with his canoe attached to the top, so that he could go canoeing down the Little Miami (which he lead a drive to preserve) whenever he felt like it. He died shortly after we moved there, and it was like the passing of an era. I guess the point is that, once upon a time, Republican did not equal selfish and vile, and wealthy did not equal ostentacious and vulgar.

  • jesuswasablack

    I hope them cakes weren’t used for anything gay, that’s against the constitution! Flint gets all the good press, but another Michigan city that was put under “emergency management” got fucked as well. Benton Harbor used to have this great lakefront city park, no more first thing the “Emergency Manager” did was sell it to some of the guvs buddies, golf course don’t you know! They gave the coloreds some old polluted abandoned foundry land, good enough!

    http://invw.org/2012/06/11/benton-harbor-michigan-1280/

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Disgusting. Gilded Age 2.0.

    • Major_Major_Major

      Well, the pollution does make them technically brownfields, so….

  • cousin itt

    1st um, Lady, of Michigan by day.

    Stupor Hero by night: “You can’t lick my frosting, dark scum!”

    • 24601

      Nice of Rick to take his old mum to a ball game.

    • BadKitty904

      Who’s the guy in the stupid glasses next to Snyder?

      • cousin itt

        Robin in drag?

        • BadKitty904

          Or Elton John’s got a new wig.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Three of us sitting in a Nashville bar with music in the late 70’s. Four people take the table next to us. The guy next to me has his back to that table. At the other table, there’s one with obviously dyed, coal-black hair cut in a pageboy, sunglasses, and rings on every finger of both hands.

      The guy across from me leans in and says, “Check out that old lady.”

      The guy next to me (with his back to the table) tries to twist around and says, “Which one?”

      I said, “The one who looks like Roy Orbison.”

      Then, we all looked again.

      The opening act was Louise Goffin, Carole King and Gerry Goffin’s daughter.

      They didn’t stay for the main act, a Jimi Hendrix tribute band.

    • MarkM

      Jeez…shoulda been a Walmart bag…

    • Vienna Woods

      To be fair, he hasn’t traded her in on a newer model, like Trump does. I’ll give him that.

      • BadKitty904

        Which simply confirms that she has a hidden safe filled with documents and photos.

    • Jesus Christ, that’s an ugly blouse.

    • JaaaaaCeeeee

      Hey, have some respect for the Snyders, hard working, street sweeping pubic servants!
      http://media.mlive.com/grpress/entertainment_impact/photo/10744292-large.jpg

  • Eyeball Freckles

    Ya know, I have some awesome gifs (one that i really want to use right now) but they won’t do the thing!

    Halp! Any tips for a wonkette noob on how to make these work on this platform!?! I wish to share my sass in all its animated glory!

    PS- Snyder is a fucking Dick and I hope he gets the herps

    • Major_Major_Major

      You have to feed the punch cards sequentially. (Sorry, html based code and whatnot is not my bag o’tricks. )

    • Querolous

      Like this?

  • Celtic_Gnome

    I. Just. Can’t.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    BTW, rich Cunt, ‘Michael Kors’ and ‘Nordstrom’ are to haute couture what a Ford Taurus would be at Le Mans.

    Anna needs her sleep, my Darlings. Good Night. :)

    • BadKitty904

      The Synders apparently aspire to being nouveau riche.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        I wonder, do they fill their Ce-ment Pond with Perrier?

    • Apple Scruff

      And you KNOW that inside the Chanel bag is like, a bottle of nail polish, just so she can have a “Chanel” shopping bag.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Indeed.

        Shit, my brands are ‘Mossimo’ (read Target) and stuff from Amazon, but I get women come over to ask me where I bought my jeans, or “I hate to bother you while you’re eating, but where did you find those leggings?”

        Fashion is *how* you wear it, more that *what* you’re wearing.

  • cousin itt

    Funny thing is, those bags are entirely empty of anything remotely valuable. Just sugar and flour. All cake, no cattle. Typical Republican these days.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Do Republicans hold special workshops to teach people how to be exceptionally chickenshit?

    • D_C_Wilson

      They have master classes in tone deafness.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        It’s more than tone deafness. They revel in pettiness.

    • BadKitty904

      It’s a gift.

      • Playonwords

        Preferably from Chanel (Grand Extrait perfume $3,900 per ounce), Garrard (Heart of the Kingdom $14 million) or Patek Philippe (Grand Complication Blue Skeleton watch $593,000)

  • BadKitty904

    I’ll get the tumbril, you get the pitchforks and torches.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I’m in. Maybe some tar and feather pillows also too.

      • BadKitty904

        If these people didn’t learn in 1789, maybe it’s time to review the lesson.

        • cousin itt

          Come on now, history is just so old news.

          • BadKitty904

            Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to“…what? Two words, three syllables.

          • MarkM

            Be Republicans? No, doesn’t fit…too many syllables…THINK dammit!

          • MilwaukeeKent

            The Bastille?

          • Mr Corrections

            Well, “the guillotine” has the right number of words but too many syllables.

          • MilwaukeeKent

            History is dead old white men — with votes! With votes!

    • bookish

      Knitting.

  • Naytch

    Nvm mind the cover of Time; I want MY Cake, Amanda!

  • 24601

    I was intrigued by that amazingly detailed work of cake art, so I went to the baker’s website to look around at her other work (Sweetheatheranne.com)
    And that’s when I saw under the category of corporate and sculpted cakes this…um…unappetizing…um……gag….. .pflurghhhh http://s3.media.squarespace.com/production/920827/11462743/-5CP6u2Vr3Vo/ThdcTh8iGGI/AAAAAAAAWTU/C2a9IzHyD9o/s1600/heather%252Bann.ow.obgyn%252Bbaby.jpg

    • Major_Major_Major

      What. The.Fuck. srsly?

      • 24601

        Who thought edible baby and placenta and is that a speculum(?) was a good idea? I can’t imagine.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Maybe the birthday boy or girl was an obstetrician. Still…

    • eggsacklywright

      That’s Carli’s cake, right?

    • Mehmeisterjr

      CakeWrecks.com is a frequent source of raised eyebrows.

      • 24601

        Cake Wrecks must have pulled this photo from the baker’s website…for obvious reasons. ;)

    • Dr. Krieger IRL

      This isn’t a cake, it’s Carly Fiorina’s platform.

    • BeachLoafer

      I was prepared to call bullshit, but sadly that cake really is in the baker’s portfolio on her web site.

      I assume it was probably for, say, an obstetrician who lovingly delivers healthy babies, but DAMN!!!, did nobody point out to this baker that it might be a bad choice for inclusion in an otherwise pretty good web site that I suspect she paid handsomely for?

    • MrCanoehead

      So her business model is, “If you have all the money and none of the sense, I can make your bad taste taste good.”

  • Angela Ruzzo

    The cake maker is truly an artist. However, I wonder how much that cake (cakes?) cost. And the food. And the liquor. And the fancy clothes and jewelry everyone was no doubt wearing. And all the expensive gifts. Limousines??? It would probably be enough to pay for people to deliver water testing kits to people’s houses in Flint, instead of making them all go to the nearest fire station to pick them up.

    • Cakes like that cost at least in the high hundreds. I’m basing that on the cost of a wedding cake when I got married in 1994. I checked with a few bakeries and everything was around $600 (which is why I had a cookie table instead).

      This whole thing is just so fucking gauche, not to mention appalling.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        You are right. Also tacky and vulgar and ostentatious and greedy and reprehensible and insensitive. English is such a great language – so many good words. I hear cupcakes are very popular at weddings today, which sounds like a very sensible idea.

        • So many great adjectives are available, and yet I still can’t find the right ones to properly express how enraged I am over what Snyder and his cronies have done.

  • BadKitty904

    Vicious AND Vulgar – Today’s GOP!

  • btwbfdimho

    Speaking of Guillotines, Super Bowls and Brain Damages, I’ve thought of a new labor-market opportunity: A Zika-Virus Football League, with players from Brazil and Venezuela with lower concussion risk…

  • georgiaburning

    Snyder is generating way too much bad publicity for any first or second rate evil empire. Stalin or Mao would have sacked him months ago. The Koch Brothers need to pay more attention to their lackey and stooge management.

    • The Wanderer

      Stalin would have had him and his entire family either liquidated or shipped off to Kolyma.

  • BadKitty904

    Gov. Snyder and his courtiers may want to consider a new baker this July, for Bastille Day. In the confection below, note the artist’s revolutionary use of fondant icing in the people’s colors…

    • cousin itt

      Is the head dead yet?

      • The Wanderer

        The boys in the newsroom have a running bet, you know.

      • Roycroft Jones

        You know the boys in the newsroom got a running bet.

      • coozledad

        Snyder’s isn’t dead, just rotten.

      • BadKitty904

        For some time now, based on his actions as Governor.

    • Dr. Krieger IRL

      Merde!

  • eggsacklywright

    Is it possible to flag an entire post as inappropriate?

  • BadKitty904

    I look at that cake and all I hear is my Granny’s voice saying, “Tacky…” – a good, old Southern term apparently not used in Michigan.

    • eggsacklywright

      HEY Rachael! Put this on the TB machine!

  • Jenny

    Probably chocolate with chocolate mousse too.

    I like my cake flavors quirky!

  • bluicebank

    Come the revolution … first up against the wall.

    I remain amazed that the aristocrats aren’t hedging their bets.

    • BadKitty904

      How many 100,000-acre compounds in Paraguay can one buy?

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        Jokes on them. They’ll flee to Paraguay and our comrads will be waiting. To greet them. With sooooo many votes
        :D
        SOLIDARITY *fistpump*
        All right, so I indulge in fantasy, stop judging me

  • arundel

    Champers all right for you, Pats? Lovely, Sweetie.

    Love you ever more for this, Zoom.

    As for the rest, the cake and all, I couldn’t be more disgusted.

  • Callyson

    Here’s a cake I’d like to give the governor…with votes of course:

    • Dr. Krieger IRL

      Having worked in a jailhouse kitchen, I genuinely hope this is the last cake he ever gets before years and years of shitty margarine-filled prison cake.

    • BadKitty904

      Great minds, Cally…

  • MilwaukeeKent

    Will the Democratic Party wake up, just once, long enough to grab a moment and yell, from now until November, that Flint is exactly what Republican governance looks like, a horrible, preventable tragedy? Probably no. Apparently Snyder is not planning on re-election. That cake and Flint headlines, the ads against him write themselves. Prevent future tragedies, Democratic Party of Michigan.
    Governor Tone Deaf. Attach him to every other Republican with super glue.

    • Dr. Krieger IRL

      I’m all for that plan.

    • blaid droog

      There is little doubt that the useless fucking dumbocrats will do or say anything. They are as ball-less as one of joni ernsts pigs. As a political party they are no better than the repigs. Dems are the personal property of the rich and if you believe otherwise I have some nice property in the Everglades you might be interested in buying. Fuck that pig clinton. Shove some Glass-Stegall up her ass.

      • Bad Granny

        You seem nice. I’ll bet you have a fun social circle whose members all hold you in high esteem. Frankly, I’m flattered that you took time out of your busy day to stop by.

      • Dr. Krieger IRL
        • 451 Byrnes

          You are En Flique today!

          • Dr. Krieger IRL

            Thank you!
            I love your username, by the way!

          • 451 Byrnes

            Well, I love yours too, totally not a Hitler clone!

          • wavicles

            We’re all in the Flint today.

    • Malmborg Implano

      The Michigan Democratic Party is a bunch of useless dirtbags. Occasionally a really talented politician like Debbie Stabenow manages through sheer talent and determination to get elected as a Democrat, but they’ve got to do it on their own.

  • Blerg

    Just when I thought I couldn’t hate Gov. Snyder more…

    • BadKitty904

      He does make it so easy, doesn’t he?

  • MilwaukeeKent

    Here’s one for “Good King Richard”.
    “…I will win the worship in their eyes, and I will lose it.” “…My past will flow like rivers”, one river in particular, Gov’nor.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73v1RqRPKGk

  • Lizzietish81

    The rich are different from the rest of us.

    • LarkintheAM

      Yes. They seem to have misplaced their souls.

  • Lizzietish81
    • MilwaukeeKent

      Well marbled, free range. Yumsies.

      • wavicles

        Doubtful, mostly gristle and fat.

  • Dr. Krieger IRL

    “He is the icon of our times, solution to our modern crimes.
    His trigger finger clicks remotes as carbohydrates slowly bloat.
    Not fragile or brittle, he’s seeking an acquittal.
    No scruples, no meekenss. He has but one great weakness.
    All the world must have a price,
    Save yourself from sacrifice.
    Everything will end alright,
    American Kryptonite.”

  • OneDemin EOr

    Let them drink water!

    • LarkintheAM

      Let them drink Legionnaire’s infected, lead containing, corrosive Flint River water.

      FIFY.

  • Odd Jørgensen
  • blaid droog

    Let’s put snyderwhiplash in stocks in the town square and invite Flints residents to throw lead votes at the motherfucker.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    If she’s that into labels, may I recommend a lovely knit from DeFarge?

  • bozolives

    Our evil tone deaf Gov is term limited.

    • sw19womble

      “Term limited”? Is that what all the cool kids are calling being a Princess Starlight is best pony these days.

    • BadKitty904

      I can only hope the judge at Snyder’s trial doesn’t feel the same constraint.

  • MyLovelyNose

    Rick Snyder’s just saying to those who are richer and more powerful than he, and who can make or break him, that there’s nothing too outrageous to do for money. He’s an aristocrat, after all.

  • Bad Granny

    Can we just take a moment to appreciate the fact that that cake was designed to appeal to an adult human with supposedly normal brain function?

    • jviscont1

      the Mrs. would have likely appreciated the real Kors, Chanel, etc swag in place of the calories.

      • Vienna Woods

        She probably got the real thing, also, too.

        • wavicles

          That’s what I believe too.
          There’s such a disconnect that they probably think that THAT would be too much and the commoners would look askant.

  • YayConspiracy

    Are there mandatory minimums for criminal incompetence?

    • Major_Major_Major

      In Republican land, it is referred to as reelection.

      • FlownOver

        Snyder/Shkreli ’16!!!

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Thank Celestia for small favors: Punchyfacey Shkreli will have to wait until 2020 cos of his age.

          Perhaps we’ll get lucky and the Stars will come Right by then.

          Cthulhu/Hastur ’20

    • steve damon

      Sometimes there are mandatory minimum bonuses…..

  • Genevieve Faucette

    ❝my .friend’s mate Is getting 98$. HOURLY. on the internet❞….A few days ago new McLaren. F1 bought after earning 18,512$,,,this was my previous month’s paycheck ,and-a little over, 17k$ Last month ..3-5 h/r of work a days ..with extra open doors & weekly. paychecks.. it’s realy the easiest work I have ever Do.. I Joined This 7 months ago and now making over 87$, p/h.Learn. More right Here;b506➤➤➤➤➤ http://GlobalSuperEmploymentVacanciesReportsHit/GetPaid/98$hourly…. .❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:❦2:::::;b506……

    • sw19womble

      Oh do fuck off.

      • HazooToo

        Oh god I can’t wait til tomorrow to figure out what I missed here, lol

        • Malmborg Implano

          Probably something about Benghazi.

          • ibwilliamsi

            Benghazi libel!

        • pearlsarefuzzy

          Maybe it was Bill Ballenger.

  • Playonwords

    There are times when I think that Savonarola and his Bonfire of the Vanities was a good idea.

  • Alex Grey

    Still you are terrible excuses for humanity! And by the way, He doesn’t want you calling yourselves “Christians” anymore, you make Him look bad…

  • chascates

    Come the Revolution . . .

  • Helena Handbag

    Should we finish off the beluga or should we have some smoked salmon nibbly things?

    Oh, whatever, sweetie.

    • Dr. Krieger IRL

      “I have an entire case of fine imported bottled water to wash it all down and spritz into our whiskey.”

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “Did you remember to give the serv….er, waiters a good kicking?”

  • Alex Grey

    Wow, I don’t even have a humorous image to suit something as unconscionable as this…

  • Dr. Krieger IRL

    Maybe our glorious hordes of indignant internet-goers should change tracks a bit and start mailing dildos to Gov. Snyder.

  • steve damon

    Guillotine.

  • HobbesEvilTwin

    those are most definitely not the cakes we like.

  • VandeGraf

    You really cannot expect much from Snyder. Too bad the MI electorate didn’t figure that out sooner.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Remind me again what time the revolution starts?

    • Pickwicknext

      “Time is an illusion. Lunch time doubly so.”

    • steve damon

      Alarm clocks are going off all over the sleepy -but – waking world.
      Just don’t hit that snooze button.
      Get up.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I gotta work til one or two. Ready to take up my pitchfork after that.

        • steve damon

          No prob. Gotcha covered til then.

      • Dr. Krieger IRL

        Go for a jog, you’ll be refreshed and ready for the revolution.

    • Dr. Krieger IRL

      But remember, it will not be televised.

      • Objectifer

        It will be live blogged though.

        • Karen Marie

          Twitter is more efficient for finding a location near you.

    • BadKitty904

      Not soon enough.

    • Same here. I’ve already got everything I need to loot Kim Kardashian’s mansion (with votes).

    • JH Marx

      Don’t check your local TV schedule.

  • brbr2424

    A cake that takes 30 hours to make is 30 hours old and counting by the time you dig into. Small comfort that he got his wife stale cake for her birthday.

    • Ants In My Eyes Johnson

      Art Cakes are almost always stale by the time they are received. I can totally understand why people go bananas for a cake that is a piece of art, but I can’t understand why anyone would order one more than once; you’d think they’d have learned their lesson.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        *nods* I used to enjoy the Cake competition shows on Food Network, but for home I’d much rather just eat some yummy cake.

      • docterry6973

        Peasants. I bet the had that cake for show and ate a ton of those cakes that we like. And they saved the crumbs to sprinkle on the homeless.

      • malsperanza

        I swear people would eat the Mona Lisa if they could, or those $100 million paintings they buy at Sotheby’s, even though those things would taste like linseed oil and stale varnish. Conspicuous consumption taken to its logical conclusion.

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          There was a movie with Brodderick was pretty much about how ridiculous rich people will pay to eat something they consider exclusive. It had a lizard and I think the Godfather in it.

          • LarkintheAM

            There’s an entire underground of the ultra-rich dedicated to eating endangered species. The first time I read about it I thought it was an Onion thing – turns out it isn’t a sick joke, just sick. Human beings have had something go wrong in our evolutionary wiring that we could behave this way.

          • MarkM

            What we need is an underground of enraged citizens dedicated to eating the ultra-rich. Of course their leathery flesh would make tough chewing (although I suspect Kim Kardashian’s hams would smoke up pretty nice…)

          • Karen Marie

            No, her hams are full of injected chemicals.

          • MarkM

            Meh…most ham is full of injected chemicals. I mean you certainly wouldn’t get fine Serrano quality from Kim’s ass, but it would probably pass muster on a sandwich at Arby’s.

          • Querolous

            ☺☺

    • Dr. Krieger IRL

      As I continue to grow more cynical, I find anything fancy and haute to be less and less interesting. That includes cakes and fine dining.
      To quote my favorite bluesman, Seasick Steve:
      “And I have cooked my food on a hobo fire,
      Never tasted nothing so good, Lord it ain’t no lie.
      That’s the way the dice is landin’
      Who’s to say it ain’t alright?”

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Often, simple, quality ingredients prepared with care can match or exceed the fanciest dishes.

        • Dr. Krieger IRL

          Agreed. The best damned steak I ever ate got tossed directly onto the coals of a campfire after a long day’s hiking. I’d take ten of those over any one steakhouse steak.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I admire cooks that get that result off of charcoal or flame. I’m still working towards that. :)

          • Dr. Krieger IRL

            Alton Brown has some great grilling advice.
            Meathead at Amazingribs.com is possibly the only grilling/smoking reference anyone will ever need.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Cool! Thank you! I’ll bookmark that.

          • Dr. Krieger IRL

            Happy to help!

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            I too have great grilling advice, and it is a never fail:
            Shack up with someone who grills good. Works great!
            …What? It is TOO a perfectly acceptable reason to marry someone.

          • Dr. Krieger IRL

            It absolutely is!

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Not arguing! XD

            But…..maybe *I* can be the great griller worth shacking up with?

          • Ants In My Eyes Johnson

            There’ve been marriages built on less. Who are we to judge?

          • jmk

            This is my plan, as I happily buy my beloved any number of bluetooth thermometers and other flapdoodle he says he needs for his BBQ addiction. As he opens the gift and says thank you, I think… “soooooon.”

          • Karen Marie

            Does he have one of these? A laser thermometer is the greatest thing since sliced bread. Obviously no good for internal temp of meat but brilliant for determining whether the coals (or stove top or oven) is hot enough. http://www.amazon.com/EnnoLogic-Temperature-Non-Contact-Infrared-Thermometer/dp/B00IT0ODPQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1454788256&sr=8-1-spons&keywords=temperature+gun+infrared&psc=1

          • jmk

            He doesn’t yet, but my goodness, he will have one by the time he’s a year older. He’s a nerdy engineer, so this kind of thing is like catnip for him…a gadget! For BBQ!
            Thank you!!

          • malsperanza

            Check out Tomas Torquemada’s Tasty Tips for Charbroiling. The old recipes are the best recipes.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            XD

            No one expects the Spanish Inquisition….Cookbook!

          • Dr. Krieger IRL

            Agreed, the older recipes are always better. Things are just weird and bourgie now. Although, it’s wise to concede that the absolute best tools any griller could have are quality modern thermometers.

            If you want a room full of pitmasters to talk your ears off, ask ’em about their favorite internal temperatures for a finished brisket.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Brisket is kind of my “Masterpiece-in-waiting”. When I get a brisket right, I’ll call myself a griller. XD

          • Dr. Krieger IRL

            Meathead’s your man! His techniques are great for learning the ropes!
            Then you can listen to weirdos like me who go: yeah, I have my pit stoker set to keep the chamber temperature at 215* and pull at an internal temperature of 205*.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            XD AWE-sum.

            I just have a Weber right now, the kind that look like sea buoys.

          • Dr. Krieger IRL

            Those are the best!
            I cut my teeth on a Weber kettle bought at a garage sale, they’re so simple they’re great.
            Until I bought and kitted out my Weber smoker, I just divided the charcoal bay of the kettle into thirds with a piece of angle iron and some fire bricks with a cheap oven thermometer on top. Opened up the inlet a wee bit, lit a single paraffin cube in the coals and voilà! Cheap backyard smoker, complete with insulation from the bricks!
            That setup could crank out mean ribs and pork shoulders.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            That is a great idea! :D I nevers would have thought of that!

          • Playonwords

            H’mm – What about the Victorian recipe for bread, with added Alum, plaster of Paris or chalk?

            And milk recipes with Borax?

          • Dr. Krieger IRL

            Don’t tell Rick Snyder, he’ll find a way to feed that to the poors.

          • onedollarjuana

            My friend has an old recipe for burgoo. Starts with a whole cow.

          • jmk

            The old burgoo recipe I have features squirrel.

        • HanBarbara

          What I hate these days is how it’s trendy to serve your food in a pile, everything stacked on top of eachother. It’s pretentious, and no fun for those of us who never grew out of wanting our food not to touch.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I think it’s pretentious as well.

            I’m pretty decent at simple but elegant presentation, which IMHO does not equal “piles-‘o-food”.

    • RECIPE TIP: The best way to revive the flavor and moisture of stale cake is to pour about half a bottle of rum over it. I’m sure Snyder’s wife is familiar with washing down his little gifts with rum.

    • Whollyholeyholy

      I was thinking the same! Really, it’s older than that, because no way it was being worked on round-the-clock. Best case, still tastes like nasty fondant.

      • wavicles

        You don’t believe that it’s for eating do you? At least not for the partygoers; “Let them eat cake.”
        Conspicuous consumption isn’t literal, money means nothing. The cake is for show.

        • brbr2424

          True, but the first job of a cake is to taste good. A distant second is to look good. These cakes are about cake bakers saying, aren’t I artistic and special .

          • HuddledMass

            And they are about rich assholes saying, what, even? … “Look how stupid and tasteless and grandiose I am?”

            All their money and power, and they still don’t know what good food is.

        • HanBarbara

          Probably cost into the 5 figures to make

      • brbr2424

        Fondant is inedible. I think these sculpture cakes are a phase that will fall out of favor in the future.

        • Mrs. Roger Kaputnik

          Yes. Give me a goddamn buttercream or ganache instead of that disgusting sugared Play-doh.

  • cheetojeebus

    In my dark fantasy a clever chef with a heart of gold serves them Flint River sushi for a starter.

  • Spurning Beer

    Don’t worry, Governor Snyder. President Romney will stick up for you when he gets back from Rafalca’s birthday party.

  • Malmborg Implano

    This is a bold and ingenious move on Rick’s part to become the Most Despised Person on Earth, but he’s still got a ways to go before he reaches the level of, say, Dick Cheney or Rupert Murdoch.

    • Dr. Krieger IRL

      Remember Rick, second place is first loser.

    • wavicles

      How do you get to Carnegie Hall?

  • Platos_Redhaired_Stepchild

    Madame Tussauds wax museum has the guillotine blade used to behead Marie Antoinette. It looks to be in good working condition.

    http://www.cultofweird.com/crime/marie-antoinette-guillotine-blade/

    • Dr. Krieger IRL

      I’ve just watched Turbo Kid (which is a great movie, by the way, give it a watch) and I think the best and most fitting fate for Mr. Snyder would be Michael Ironside’s human juicer from the film. Ten gallons of fresh, lead-free water for Flint.

      All with votes, of course.

  • therblig
  • Nockular cavity

    If they’re going douchebag-all-the-way, did they hire Martin Shkreli to DJ the party? I hear he’s got some rare jams in his collection.

    • PubOption

      Snyder doesn’t look like a fan of rap music.

  • Janet Goodell

    Please please someone in Michigan follow the good Doktor’s suggestion.

  • GMO free or GTFO.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    (raises hand) Is it okay to make that cake batter with tap water or should I use bottled?

  • Noxious1

    Governor Rick Shkrelli

    • Dr. Krieger IRL

      Raising the cost of fresh Detroit Municipal water for Flint to $750 a gallon.
      “Public utilities have to make money to offset development costs!”

  • Antimassacree

    Should the Democratic Party ever decide to reclaim its heritage of giving a fuck about us commoners, its candidates at every level should hammer the GOP relentlessly with the story of Rick Snyder and Flint as the case study of the social and fiscal folly of privitization of government functions.

    • Dr. Krieger IRL

      Yes.

    • Playonwords

      Perhaps we could update John Ball’s rallying cry.
      When Adam delved and Eve span
      Who then was the gentleman?

      • Antimassacree

        A revolt of us peasants with votes (!) would be a good thing!

        • brbr2424

          Just showing up to vote during off years would do it.

      • Beezelbubbles

        Is there no one who will rid me of this turbulent governor…with votes?

    • Malmborg Implano

      “Should the Michigan Democratic Party”

      there fixed it for you

    • brbr2424

      We are in the era of Citizens United. The Koch bros. can convince people that tax cuts for the wealthy are more important than clean water and air.

      Ask a rightwinger on a fixed or low income if flat tax is a good idea. They will say yes. They can’t extend out the equation that you need to collect X dollars in tax revenue and a flat tax shifts the burden onto non multi-millionaires.

  • I stayed up all night working on a simple poll question for Michigan voters.

    Q. How would you rate Gov. Snyder’s performance?

    1. Somewhat abysmal
    2. Abysmal.
    3. Over the top abysmal.

    • Dr. Krieger IRL

      Uhm… 2.73?

    • BadKitty904

      4. Criminal

      • Dr. Krieger IRL

        I think that Criminal would be 5 and “Dystopian Near-Future” would be 4.
        Or are they the same?

      • proudgrampa

        Criminal Abysmal?

    • Malmborg Implano

      Many would rate it fantastic. Lot of neo-Nazis who love the idea of destroying a whole generation of black Michigan kids.

    • Bill Slider

      What, no option for criminal?

  • malsperanza

    This is what happens when the federal government abandons the states — often at the request of the states. Most state governments are a disaster: underfunded because slashing state taxes is the popular thing to do, and because people routinely vote down bond issues; feckless because no oversight and the federal regulators had their staffs and budgets slashed in the 1980s and never recovered; incompetent because their leaders are on the take and are products of their underfunded school systems.

    • doktorzoom

      You forgot the part where Republican-majority state legislatures help out by drawing gerrymandered congressional districts, with the aim of a built-in Republican majority in the House. Isn’t it a lovely racket?

      • malsperanza

        Indeed. And then discover that their spectacularly gerrymandered districts not only give them a permanent House majority, but also guarantee that they will be savagely self-destructive, sunk in ever more extreme forms of internecine ideological warfare.

    • Malmborg Implano

      On the other hand, Michigan voters voted this guy in twice and also delivered a huge Republican majority to back him up. Michigan has been a hotbed of virulent racism for many years and the progressive minority in the Detroit-Ann Arbor area is more than counterbalanced by the reactionaries in the rest of the state. We have militias, neo-Nazis and white supremacists galore, and they have been loving the Snyder administration for its hostile takeovers of majority black cities like Detroit, Port Huron and Flint. Now we are seeing the frankly genocidal results

      • malsperanza

        True that. I remember that George Wallace nearly carried the state in 1968, because Nixon was considered too moderate. Michigan’s long period of liberal and Dem ascendance after that was due to the fact that industry outvoted farming, and industry was doing well and paying good blue-collar wages – from cars to light manufacturing to steel mills. All of which tanked astonishingly fast after Reagan.

        Still, Louisiana finally threw out its ideological RWNJ governor, and the first thing the new guy did on taking office last month was to sign up for the federal Medicaid expansion–to the general approval of that state’s benighted populace. Snyder and Scott Walker are both in trouble. Eventually the states-rights pendulum swings back the other way. The problem is: bringing manufacturing back to the US is something that has to be driven by Washington, and as long as Wall Street doesn’t want it, states like Michigan will continue to suffer.

    • Wildkitty

      It’s called the Tenth Amendment – and, unfortunately, today’ Republican run states (of which Michigan is one) demand that the Fed STOP interfering in State affairs. ONLY, after Snyder was persuaded to ask for Fed help could FEMA step in to help.
      Unfortunately THAT is the way the Constitution works – and that’s WRONG!!!

      • malsperanza

        10th Amendment allows the states to retain authority over all matters not specifically allocated to the federal government. It does not prevent the states from asking for, and receiving the assistance of the federal govt. Nor are the federal government’s areas of authority minor. For example, the EPA does not violate the 10th Amendment; in practical terms, the federal agencies work with state affiliates.

        • Wildkitty

          I was merely refuting your statement that the Federal government abandons the states.
          States MUST ask for Federal help in cases of emergency. And in this case – it took Snyder months to be persuaded to request Fed, help.
          Otherwise, I think we agree that Federal agencies are underfunded, and, unfortunately, we will find bribery and misconduct in every agency of every political bent.

    • revenant

      the consolidation of media has killed off the local newspapers and radio stations that used to watchdog state and local governments, so local oligarchs can do what they like for quite a while. anybody here know who owns Snyder? the Kochtopus, most likely

  • Jen_Baker_VA

    Some days it is so hard to remind myself that I do not hate anyone, and that hate is wrong and bad for me and all of that other feel goody hippy jive.

    • Dr. Krieger IRL

      Join me on the Dark Side. Cynicism is totally fair because you hate and mistrust everybody.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I don’t hate you this morning. Or my mother or drublic jr. Beyond that?

    • vivian

      Sadly there are always a choice few out there who manage to live down to my worst expectations and beyond. Doesn’t mean there aren’t good people out there too though…

  • sei2011 .

    They rented out West End Grill, on a Saturday night? The entire effing restaurant.

    And oh my god that cake.

    They will never dine in public here, ever again. They just wrote their public-dining epitaph.

  • onedollarjuana

    Let them (b)eat (the guv) (with) cake!

  • sei2011 .
    • doktorzoom

      Thanks for the additional detail; I’ve updated the post to include this.

      • sei2011 .

        I like to think she would have included some buried lead pipes, maybe a blood test kit tucked away in that Chanel bag, had she only known.

        • brbr2424

          Only if Spanky and the gang made it. I don’t know why the only Little Rascals episode I remember involved baking a cake with a bunch of objects in it.

  • Oneofthebobs

    Hell just won’t be fun any more when these jerks start showing up.

  • Walter_the_farting_dog

    “its windows were reportedly blacked out so that the commoners wouldn’t see what their betters were getting up to in there”
    So, the details leaked out just like lead into the Flint water supply?

    • brbr2424

      The problem with these one percenters is that they seem to enjoy refreshments when they get together to laugh at the 47% who are struggling.You can black out the windows to the outside but the servers see all.

      How do you balck out the windows of a restaurant. That sounds costly and time consuming.

      • Walter_the_farting_dog

        My guess would be some kind of opaque (yet elegant, of course) paper. And not very costly when you’re paying a busser sub-minimum wage to do it.

  • Bill Slider

    That truly is an amazing cake. That said, I am surprised and saddened that any public official, anywhere on planet Earth would associate with while in office.This is a cake for people with well known shopping addictions for labels, like Kinda Sleeza Rice, or the wife of the former Virginia governor who I think may be in jail. A Breta water filter cake, on the other hand…

    • brbr2424

      Very true. The McDonnell’s are out on bail while the Supreme court considers whether it’s ok when Republican governors accept lavish and monetary gifts from constituents who want favors. If a governor helps out constituents anyway for free why not allow them to accept totally unrelated gifts? I’m sure 5 out of 9 Supreme court justices will rule that gifts are speech and gift givers can’t be deprived of their right to free speech.

  • KevinShinn

    Of course the screeching militia buffoons are nowhere to be found on such an occasion when they could be of actual use. And here I thought Michigan was a hotbed of their ilk.

  • Pecker Rider of Pern

    This reminds me of the time an angry mob literally tore one of Marie Antoinette’s friends to pieces, then put her head on a pike and paraded it outside Antoinette’s window. Reading about that was horrific enough to make me sympathize with the aristocrats for once. I wondered how people could possibly become so enraged, so brutal.

    Hhhhhaaahhhhhh serenity now, serenity now. The monsters of our oligarchy may deserve the worst, but they’re not worth sacrificing our own humanity to punish them. We do need to get them the fuck out of power though, at the very least. Life terms in prison would be nice too, if Santa is reading this.

    • TBP100

      I remember when I went through Versailles for the first time, thinking, “That whole reign of terror thing is starting to make sense to me now.”

      I had similar thoughts when I went through the parts of the Hermitage Museum in St. Petersburg that were originally the Czar’s Winter Palace.

      • Pecker Rider of Pern

        A hilarious detail about Versailles: It was built in swampland in an era before indoor plumbing. Royalty and favored courtiers were afforded access to private chamber pots, but the rest of the nobles were left to their own devices. Sometimes they took the time to go out behind a tree or something, but plenty of times they were just too rushed and settled for an isolated stairwell somewhere. That, and the boggy climate meant that, for all its tacky opulence, Versailles was literally a disease-riddled cesspool.

    • doktorzoom

      See, and that’s how one stays within the commenting rules!

      • Pecker Rider of Pern

        Whew! I was wondering about that

    • brbr2424

      I read about the French Revolution for the first time helping my son with his history homework. It reminds me of what’s going on in Syria now, including massive executions. It was not clear who to pledge allegiance to to stay alive. You would just want to lay low and be invisible. It seemed more complex than good guys against bad guys.

      • Pecker Rider of Pern

        For sure. Yet that bloodbath helped give us liberal democracy which, for all its faults, is at least less absurd than monarchism. Still wondering when the Brits will figure that one out.

        • HanBarbara

          I’m not much into bloodbaths. I don’t want to be the one who’s blood is bathed in. Hopefully if there is an upheaval it is low in pints of blood spilled.
          In terms of the reign of terror, the guillotine wasn’t only fed by the aristocracy. There were plenty of deserters from the French army (or people thought to be deserters) draft dodgers, members of the clergy, peasants thought to be hoarding food, and people with the ” wrong” political beliefs.

          • revenant

            also leaders of the revolution such as Robespierre, St. Juste, Danton and Desmoullines. revolutionaries always end up murdering each other eventually

          • JaaaaaCeeeee

            Bernie Sanders libel!

    • HanBarbara

      Because we will punish them with votes! Marie Antoinette never actually said “let them eat cake” by the way. She was somewhat clueless, and frivolous, but not mean. Like many rich people, she was compassionate when her life actually intersected with a poor person, which wasn’t often. She was also a convenient, foreign born target for a lot of the anger the French people felt about poor harvests, inflated food prices, an aristocracy that wasn’t taxed (does that sound familiar), and a bankrupt government.

      • Takoma DC

        She was young too. If memory serves me, she actually wasn’t the person who’d purchased the jewelry. Someone (I believe a woman in her court) forged Antoinette’s name. The jewelry merchant knew the jewelry wasn’t for Antoinette but went along with the scam (or planned it w/ her courtesan). Even though the truth eventually came to light, it was too late.

        Along with the king and queen, they murdered the very young prince and princess. That always bothered me very much.

        • HanBarbara

          Actually, the boy most likely died of neglect. As far as history can tell, nobody stuck a knife in him or anything, but they didn’t care for him either. The Princess actually lived until 1851, but she did not have a happy life.

        • HanBarbara

          There is a pretty good biography of Marie Antoinette by Antonia Fraser, if you are interested

      • KBBaldwin

        I have always wondered if the cake remark was not just the result of her not realizing that everyone didn’t have access to cake as well as bread.

    • YourNameHere

      or the other jolly guy in a red suit with a lap worth sitting on…

  • Speaking of France, their senate recently unanimously passed a law requiring most supermarkets to give unsold food to charity. File that under “Can you imagine if anyone tried that in this country?”

    • berkeleyfarm

      Individual outfits do it. One of the Walgreens in town has our local Catholic Worker outlet pick up a lot of the stuff that has reached its pull date (diff from expiration date).

  • Shibusa

    For her gift, Rick Snyder gave his wife a new swimming pool:

  • vivian

    Going forward, maybe we should house politicians in our slums. They would then have motivation to improve things instead of hiring artists to fabricate edible monuments to symbols of capital fetishism.

  • brbr2424

    In everything I’ve read, Michiganders outside of Flint don’t seem to be bothered too much that an entire city within their state has been poisoned by the state. Is that true or is the media not covering outrage outside of Flint?

    • MrBlobfish

      I wonder that myself. If it’s anyplace like NJ, the white folks could give a damn about what happens in the majority black cities. Probably joke about it.

    • Rebecca McAlpine

      This Michigan person who grew up 20 miles outside of Flint cares. Our entire State has been turned around since Snyder entered. More than I can go into here…union busting, taxing our retirement, Detroit…Flint. No, I’m not happy.

    • FaFaFooey

      I live 50 miles south of Flint and I care very much.

      • Takoma DC

        Thank you.

    • Relativicus

      It’s because the very same people who you would expect to get all Bircher-noid about the situation are perfectly content to accept the meme being pushed through the media that “this was a failure at all levels [read: It was the Feds!] of government.”

    • EvaV

      I live in the Upper Peninsula and I care.

    • Platos_Redhaired_Stepchild

      I think the rest of the world is well aware of the Flint situation and who caused it. Maybe the rest of Michigan state don’t care that Flint was poisoned since the majority of the citizens of Flint are non-white.

      • Malmborg Implano

        Bear in mind that Ted Nugent is not an anomaly and that outside of the Detroit-Ann Arbor area Michigan is basically Kentucky. We’ve got militias, white supremacists, the Klan, you name it. There are crackers dancing in the streets of their trailer parks over this latest act of genocide.

  • Webster

    Snyder takes cluelessness to an epic level…

    • sei2011 .

      Didn’t he hire a PR firm? I mean, are they as clueless as he is or does he make a habit of ignoring … oh never mind.

      • Takoma DC

        He hired TWO at the cost of just a couple hundred thousand dollars.

    • HanBarbara

      For fcuks sake, if you are a politician, you are a PUBLIC FIGURE. If you are a garden variety rich asshole, like Martin Shrkeli nobody would think twice about you taking over a restaurant and blacking out the windows. A few years ago, they might even have admired your balls. But a governer in a state with a public scandal? How dumb is this guy?

      • YourNameHere

        I am pretty sure Teabaggers are admiring this guy. Still defending his scumbbag ass.

      • Dudleydidwrong

        How dumb is this guy? In the race for the bottom he’s got a lot of company but he’s in the running. Run, Rick, Run! Away.

      • Platos_Redhaired_Stepchild

        Shrkeli wouldn’t black out the windows. He’d own that shit. Hell, he’d order a cake ten times as huge and ten times as expensive and wash it down with champagne for a few thousand of his closest friends.

        https://www.cardcow.com/images/set397/card00274_fr.jpg

  • Fartknocker

    What amazes me is that Rick is behaving like the Governor of New Mexico. Last month she apparently had a party in a hotel room somewhere in New Mexico and her staff acted like petulant, drunk 16 year olds to the point that police were called. Of course, in the midst of all this the Governor called the front desk to say “do you know who I am?”

    If you’re a Governor, you want to have a elegant party and you want to control the message, have it in your fucking mansion and have your State Troopers go plain clothes to get the cake and liquor.

    Thinking about this Mrs. Fartknocker pointed out that it seems like the GOP members worth 7 figures strive to be condescending, belittling prolapsed colons, and enjoy it as a sport (sans Jeb! who was born 20 years too late to be POTUS).

  • Bigby

    Soooo, serious question: it seems the howler monkeys are out. The Rethug meme is “it’s the libtard media running cover for libtard cities!!!” (google “Pennsylvania cities with higher lead than Flint”). It’s classic misdirection, but I’m having trouble coming up with a counter to these assholes that doesn’t include me getting stabby. They infest my friends’ facebook who post about Flint, essentially saying “look at these Dummycrap places that are even worse than Flint, libtard!” (AKA “I don’t actually care about THOSE cities EITHER, I just want you distracted so we do NOTHING about ANY of them”).

    They’re also saying “who cares about this cake? It’s still all the Dummycraps who run Flint’s fault (when it’s not the nCLANGS who are too stupid, lazy, and poor to afford real water systems, so fuck’m)”. It really all boils down to “fuck you, I’ve got mine, though I’ll be more than willing to spend shittons of tax money to beat down, kill, and jail lots of these kids when they grow up, because Freedom™, even if it ultimately costs MORE than simply providing safe water to everyone (because Sozhylizm™)”.

    • HanBarbara

      They love to repeat stuff in an endless circle jerk. One of their favorites is that cities run by Democraps, and especially the ni—–s, are dirty, crime ridden, and bound to go bankrupt. What they neglect to say is that the most beautiful cities in the country, places where people want to visit, and that have the highest real estate values, such as New York and San Francisco,are run by liberals.
      On the other hand, the states in the country the most dependent on Federal dollars, with the poorest people, the worst health, and the lowest life expectancy, are red states. Nothing you’d want to write home about.

      • Bitter Scribe

        Plus the governors of states with Democrap cities are often Republicans. (Think Detroit, Chicago, Milwaukee, Cleveland…)

      • YourNameHere

        Pittsburgh is not a bad city! I swear the skyline is super nice!

        • HanBarbara

          Pittsburg has come a long way, what with all that plannerin and redevelopment stuff. If it weren’t so bloody cold, I’d consider living there.

    • bot

      All of those articles about other places with lead seemed to crop up immediately after the Gov’s office announced they’d be hiring a PR firm for the crisis. Hmm…

    • proudgrampa

      Well, in my opinion, the short answer to countering these assholes is: “Don’t Facebook.”
      I have been much happier since I dropped out of social media, present company excepted.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Roger, Affirm.

      • Takoma DC

        Yes! FB & Twitter are ridiculous imho.

        • proudgrampa

          Thank you! Glad that you share my thoughts.

        • YourNameHere

          My twitter is fine but my friends are all borderline communists.

          • Takoma DC

            Those *borderline* comrades are dangerous.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      You tell them
      A: those cities waters are ruined by the fracking going on in PA, due to the invisible free hand of the market and
      B: The person responsible for Flint is the emergency manager hired by Snyder to overrule the elected official. As in, the govenor really DID ignore the will of the people and declare their votes void.
      That usually sets em sputterin nicely

      • Takoma DC

        Yes! So many areas in PA, beautiful countryside, ruined water supply via fracking. The residents can light their tap water on fire! Documentary was made 2 or 3 yrs ago about this domestic terrorism. The energy co in 1 town sent residents vouchers (many of whom have strange illnesses) for complimentary pizzas and soda for poisoning the town’s water supply.

        More recently, serious problem in Porter Ranch, LA, CA. Natural gas company there has been unable or unwilling to plug pipe leaking methane into air in residential community. Many residents became ill. Some have moved away. I think this has been going on for over a year. The co now claims they’ll be able to stop the leak within the next few months. They also claim there’s no long-term harm to human or animal health. Nor long-term damage to water, soil or air.

        • YourNameHere

          Let me tell you an even better story, my great aunt sold to a gas company and her local township decided that they will raise her taxes each year to the full value of the gas rights and they will stay that way until a full five years after all the gas is gone. So I’m not sure she’s even going to make any money.

          (Note: My mom actually did okay on this and my step-dad and I got into a fight over it because I mentioned that it was getting banned in several areas but we hate the fuck out of each other anyway so whatever.)

          No one knows where the fucking tax money is going, of course.

    • Takoma DC

      It’s annoying but I doubt you or any other sane person has enough time to debate with these lying or woefully ignorant cuntservatives.

      Better to not read their stupidity. I’ve come to realize that stupidity is evil and I don’t want to be anywhere near it. Not even virtually.

    • YourNameHere

      I guess that explains my nephew. Our whole family is generally pretty bright and his mother was a greedy bitch but smart enough and he’s dumb as a brick. (Born and raised in Pittsburgh.) I will note in Philadelphia that they are trying pretty hard to crack down on lead paint. The landlords were all pissed about it but tough shit.

  • SadDemInTex

    Why is anyone surprised by this? I will say it again…I knew a guy who married into the DuPont family…while being inducted into the family business in South American country the corporation needed to topple the government of said country and did so while the guy I knew was down there. While driving thru the roads of this country he saw dead bodies on the side of the road. He turned to his new spouse and expressed horror. Her reply “Who cares….they are just peasants.”

    • proudgrampa

      Friend of mine’s father was in the diplomatic corps. Told me once that he was in a South American country riding with a General. They drove by a scene where someone was being arrested. His father asked, “What did he do wrong?”
      The General replied, “Naive Americans! One doesn’t have to do anything wrong to be arrested.”

  • kareemachan

    And the cake-maker laughed about it? Wow…

    • Faustina

      It was a job and she got paid. Don’t implicate a person who made a freakin’ cake.

      • anon_the_great

        Nazis. Trains running on time. etc…

        • Bitter Scribe

          Huh?

        • Faustina

          Oh, right. Clearly that baker is the cause of the corruption and failure of the upper governmental officials. She is the problem in this situation. Do you want to blame the servers at the restaurant too?

          Hate the mayor. Not a baker.

          • Takoma DC

            Shunning and shaming people can work wonders.

            The only saving grace the restaurant employees have is that obviously someone from their ranks alerted media and took photos.

          • Faustina

            She said she didn’t know who it was for until she delivered it. Now what? Should she just throw it down and take the loss of time and money? She’s not the rich asshat here.

          • 1Wolverine

            Actually, the company does pretty well. I believe she didn’t know who it was for nor should she just throw it down and take the loss of time and money. However, I’ve heard from someone who knows about these specific cakes (great detail) that they run around $2000. Not bad for 30 hours work. BUT, you have to admit, there’s some damned fine artistry in that cake. It’s so real that it took everything I had to not reach in and pick up that necklace or the boxes to see what was in them. Didn’t really want the purse ’cause I don’t use one but you gotta’ admit, it looks VERY real.

          • Vegan and Tiara

            It’s a very nicely, well done cake, and I hope when the Snyders are hanging from the end of a noose, they remember how pretty the cake was.*
            *Not that I actually think the Snyders will ever pay for his idiocy, but it’s nice to fantasize.

          • CripesAmighty

            Um, No. Shaming working people trying to scrape a living for the assholery of rich fucks is a luxury afforded the Brie-and-Benz bourgoisie.
            Wanna give the teabaggers another bit of ammo in their crusade against clueless dilettantes? This is it.

          • Takoma DC

            Never said to shame or shun restaurant owner, mgmt, employees nor cake maker.

            Shame and shun Snyder, his family and those working for Snyder. I was very clear.

            Please reread my last paragraph. You either skipped it or ignored it.

            Btw: The cake maker said she has mostly upscale clients. She is not “scraping by.” Certainly hardworking and extremely talented but she is not scraping by.

          • CripesAmighty

            No. I read it. Your intent was opaque. But that’s ok. We agree about your intent as clarified, Guess you’ve never run a bake shop. Even with ‘upscale’ clients, margins can be razor-thin, and the work is a bitch.

          • thenearesthippie

            Well, the servers at the restaurant should have stood on principle and refused to do their jobs. Then they could have stepped off their principles and started looking for new employment.

            I just hope they were tipped well, but they probably weren’t.

      • Lemmy Caution

        She’s a baker just trying to get a rise out of you. But the icing on the cake is she got her dough and didn’t really even feel all that frosted about the situation.

        • Faustina

          It’s all been worth it now.

    • bot

      She didn’t know who it was for until it was done. Read.

      • kareemachan

        I read:
        ‘I had no idea, like seriously no idea,” laughed Leavitt.’

        Sounds like she had no problem with it after the fact.

        I dunno, if I found out I had done something for a man who fucked over a whole town, I wouldn’t be laughing.

        But that’s just me. If it’s fine with you, then whatever.

        • bot

          It is fine with me. What was she going to do after the fact? Cry? If your takeaway from this is the reaction of the cake maker, I can’t help you.

          • Takoma DC

            What makes you believe this is their only “takeaway” from this story.

            Most of us already know the hideous facts of the main story. This an interesting side story to the serious story of devaluation of property, poisoning, murder by willfully neglectful government officials and woefully ineffective government agencies.

            I know that I wouldn’t be laughing if I learned I made something beautiful for a couple so very ugly and dangerous and tone deaf.

            I have my doubts that the cake maker’s is even true because:
            A) Credit cards have people’s names on them. Even if it was an online or phone order the card holder’s name would be known to merchant.
            B) Assholes like this make sure a merchant knows who they are when paying for services.
            C) And assholes like this have minions, who when arranging a party for that vip or vip’s spouse, make sure that the major player’s involved in the party planning process (restaurant mgr, baker, decorator, dj/entertainment etc….) know for whom the party is for.

            If by bizarre chance the cake maker’s story is true, my sincerest apologies.

            Laughing can be a nervous tick. I don’t have it myself so when I see it, it always shocks me.

            For some reason I’ve never been able to laugh when I’ve come to learn I’m working for a morally bankrupt individual; I’ve unknowingly given money to a corrupt or evil person/org/business; come to realize I’ve been scammed or tricked; I’ve accidentally harmed another person, hurt an animal or harmed the earth.

            Laughter just doesn’t seem to be the natural or proper response to serious life situations.

            Yes we are allowed to be shocked by the this interesting side story to a tragedy.

          • 1Wolverine

            I think the first article I read said that the person ordering the cake used his name and charge card. And it wasn’t the gov. So I have a feeling that Heather Anne probably didn’t know.

          • Takoma DC

            Thanks. Strange for a spouse’s birthday that someone other than the other spouse would be the purchaser. But he’s a cheap republican. It wouldn’t surprise me if he asked party attendees to contribute. Or being the pussy that he is, was ascared to let some of his hired help know who the party was for so asked a staffer or a family member to purchase the cake and maybe other products/services and leave his name out of it. Usually assholes like Snyder and their staffers make sure everyone knows who-they-arewho-they-are especially in situations like parties, events, and travels.

          • I AM R U

            “I have my doubts that the cake maker’s is even true”

            No, I believe her – there’s no way the Snyders didn’t know this would look bad, they covered the windows for the event as well, after all. It’s not hard to get something made without giving your personal details – one of their staff could have done the ordering, for example. I worked in a shop that had some celebrity customers – some of them used different names for orders or sent PAs to shop for them.

          • Takoma DC

            Yes that’s true. The windows being covered is a strange request. So then the restaurant mgmt knew their client was Snyder. I cannot imagine that they did not. I wonder why he was afraid for the cake maker to know?

            I worked as a PA for 2 yrs for a nobody tv “producer.” I never paid for her things with my cc. I always used her corporate cc which had both her name and her production co name. She always wanted me to make sure people were aware of who-she-is and her most recent project, or a previous one which people might be more familiar. I used to meet other PA’s and they had real horror stories.

            No decent person asks their employees to pay for their (the employer’s) personal expenses. It’s a shame that people permit their employers to make unreasonable demands like paying for their shit.

          • I AM R U

            The PAs (actually, sometimes nannies too) never paid for anything personally – they either had a business credit card or it was put on the celebrity’s shop account, but neither of those always had a full name. Some had a business, some had just “A.Smith” kinda style names, and a few had different names altogether that upon investigation were actually “middle name maiden name” or birth name, and not the name the celebrity is known as. New employees never had a clue who the real customer was, and would be clued in if they stayed long enough to be trusted.

          • Takoma DC

            Politicians and their staffers more often than not, tell businesses-merchants-domestic employees who they are. I live in Washington, DC and have friends in the restaurant business. The politicians, media personalities, even NGO people want us little people to know who they are and what they do.

            In Los Angeles, where I was a PA, my employer (a producer with very little name recognition) expected me to inform those I was dealing with, who she was or to remind them. This is not unusual. They believe they’ll receive better service, higher quality, more attention, be a more valued customer etc….because of who they are.

            We never had nannies but many of our neighbors do. So do some of our friends. Are you saying that a nanny doesn’t know who her employer is? In DC, as well as LA, nannies google their prospective employers by name and address.

          • I AM R U

            . . . I was saying that they sent the nanny to pick up orders, so we theoretically wouldn’t know who the order was for.

            And yes, many people dig the publicity and reputation of being famous and want shit for that. But we dealt mostly with items for their children, and I guess they wanted to keep some distance. Either that or we just dealt with nicer celebrities.

            In this case, I have zero trouble believing the Snyders would have gone to effort to make it less obvious who had ordered the cake – as the inevitable and obvious backlash to it demonstrates, it was in poor taste.

          • doktorzoom

            Mlive says the baker only had contact with a woman who ordered the cake, probably a party planner working for Snyder (no suggestion it was a state employee; might have been the caterer for the whole shebang)

          • I AM R U

            Thanks :)

          • The Fussy Librarian

            For starters, she could have donated the money paid for the cakes to organizations helping the people of Flint.

          • I AM R U

            Why? It was 30 hours of work – why should she deduct the wages of her staff and profits from her business because some rich arseholes wanted to live it up?

          • The Fussy Librarian

            I’m not saying she shouldn’t pay her staff. She should, absolutely. But if I was me I would donate anything that was profit because I wouldn’t take the money of a man who doesn’t give a damn that he’s poisoned the water of 100,000 people.

          • I AM R U

            And that’s really great of you. But if she needed the money, I don’t begrudge her the ability to pay her own bills and mortgage. Or hell, even the savings towards a vacation. She did the damn work, after all.

        • Takoma DC

          Agree.

        • MAZS

          and the proper response would have been?

          There’s only one villain in this story.

          • Dudleydidwrong

            Aiding and abetting rampant Rethuglican uncaring behavior is/should be a crime.

          • MAZS

            “Rethuglican”? Really? Am I on Breitbart? I thought we were better than that.

          • Dudleydidwrong

            No, you’re on Wonkette. “Rethuglican” is one of our milder labels. Are you lost?

          • MAZS

            But most people here try to be clever in a non-middle-school kinda way.

  • anon_the_great

    I sure hope a lot of bakery worker spit made its way into the batter.

    • SDGeoff

      Better yet, added water from Flint.

  • dshwa

    #cakelivesmatter

  • Okely D’Oprah

    It ain’t donuts, but

    • SDGeoff

      Mmmm…floral wire…

  • TheBidenator

    Wingnuts will finish up consuming their cut up hotdogs w/mac n’ cheese anniversary meals, down their beers and go vote for Rick Snyder because IOKIYAR.

  • Jennifer R

    Every day the world gets just a little bit worse.

    • MarkM

      Every day there are more people…there is a definite correlation.

    • bird law

      Exactly. Thanks, Obummer. Ah, sh!t, now they have me doing it, too!

  • Rick Hill

    Hold on. I learned the proper response to this criticism from people who bought gas guzzling SUVs back in the 90s: “You’re all just jealous because you don’t have the power to poison a city and then you are also too poor to spend x-thousand dollars for a cake. Bitter much? Sucks being you.”

  • bookish

    Radioactive water leak near NYC.

    https://t.co/DasGH57STo

  • SDGeoff

    And the band played on…

  • patsijean

    Just last year I told family that I would rather they contribute to one of my favorite charities as I had plenty of stuff. I have also supported KIVA by participating in 77 loans and have donated money to help provide water to Flint citizens. All that on my Social Security. Come on Rick!

    • I AM R U

      Every year for birthdays and Christmas, friends and family get a small present from me, and a gift given in their name to either Oxfam or UNICEF, even the children

      Not only does no one complain, but many of them now do the same.

    • Cindyinencinitas

      I do Kiva too! I love it!! I’m glad they are getting involved in Flint.

  • I AM R U

    Someone prepare the guillotine!!

  • beatbort

    Governor Snyder, urinal cake is served tonight on Cell Block Number 8. Be there. Please. You get two helpings.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      They’re in the shape of a Walmart bag. Class.

  • Vegan and Tiara

    Classy! Seriously, that’s a very nice and classy cake. I hope they enjoy it heartily before being carted off to the guillotine.

    • fredoandme

      they could save us all a lot of time and trouble if they choked on it.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      I guess that a cake in the shape of a tumbrel was too expensive.

  • Cismontane

    Ok. Some questions.

    First of all, did Michael Kors, Tiffany’s, Nordstrom and Chanel actually license the use of their copyrights and trademarks so that a sociopath’s wife could do a Marie Antoinette? I have to assume that this would not be the best grand management move for them.

    Second of all, if it’s just cake, why Michael Kors and Nordstrom? I mean, let’s go top of the line here. Neimens and Hermes, maybe? I mean, if you’re a rich and powerful sociopath, would you want to tell your doomed Hapsburg of a trophy wife that she’s merely mass market luxury material?

    • feministing

      this was exactly my thought! MK??? come on that’s 2 steps above coach. the right people never have money damn. couldn’t have even gone with LV.

  • thirdeblue

    It’s times like these where I think what happened to the Romanovs was not necessarily a tragedy.

    • footnotegirl

      Well, the tragedy with the Romanovs was that the children were killed, and quite frankly, compared to the Czars that had come before, Czar Nicolas was actually a reformer. And the revolution did not do a whole lot of good for the poor people. But yes, this is the sort of thing that makes one understand “Off with their heads!” all too well.

      • Steven Posey

        Rotten trees produce rotten fruit. Got to completely uproot them.

        • ahughes798

          Not necessarily so. The children shouldn’t have been killed.

          • Mark Dobrowolski

            Because of dynastic rules of inheritance, the children must always be killed (preferably witnessed). Even with Salic laws (male only inheritance) the female line is still royal blood (she can’t inherit but her children can). Time may pass, but the claim still remains.

          • ahughes798

            Thanks for the explanation. It makes a certain sort of sense, for the time, but dang! To me, it was, and still is just plain as day wrong to take political vengeance against the children of nobles or politicians or public figures, or any children, for that matter. Sins of the fathers, and all that.

  • ahughes798

    I don’t understand why Snyder, a sub-human POS, isn’t being indicted right now. But damn, that cake is a work of art.

    • CripesAmighty

      Wonder if they could make one shaped like a guillotine draped with a noose? Wanna take up a collection for delivery?

      • ahughes798

        I’m in.

      • Takoma DC

        Do you accept PayPal or BitCoins?

      • fredoandme

        yeah. we’ll hang him first, then lop of his head.
        only way to be sure?

        • CripesAmighty

          Then nuke him from orbit.

          • fredoandme

            i’m right there with you cpl. hicks.

  • Lemmy Caution

    If Snyder was the murderer in a game of Clue, what would be his murder weapon?

    • God Zilla

      A cake decorated with lead paint chips.

      • Lemmy Caution

        That’s close, but I’m sorry. We were looking for “lead pipe.”

  • KBBaldwin

    What? The Gov’s wife is too good for an ordinary penis cake?

    • Takoma DC

      Rumor has it she prefers pie.

    • He could have saved a fortune by getting one from Enterman’s, and used what he saved to help Flint. Understand NOW?

    • Mintie

      She wakes up next to a giant penis every day (and I’m not talking about what’s between his legs). Give the lady a break and let her have one day that’s a little different.

  • BurgersAndFlies

    I’m torn on this, because I’m more than willing to defend Obama going on vacation (or well, as much of a vacation as any sitting president can take), but /should/ as a liberal rail on this. I don’t know.

    Presidential vacations are a catch-22 anyway.

    • Strepsi

      It’s not a dilemma in the least — Obama did not poison a thousand of his citizen’s children!

      • Robyn Kern

        Absolutely, Obama is entitled to his vacation, Snyder is not entitled to have a big party most likely at the taxpayers expense, fore his wife when he is responsible for tainted water in Flint that is going to damage children.

        • BurgersAndFlies

          Saying the party was on the taxpayer’s dime is like saying a public school teacher who goes on summer vacation is taking it on the tax payer’s dime. Yeah, we pay their salary via taxes, but that’s the limit to how much we pay for it. There’s no specific language in the budget for the Governor to get paid extra for private parties. Yes, you could argue PTO for the teacher, but that’s not the point.

          Now, do I believe Snyder should be focusing more on the situation in Flint? Oh yeah. But I have to defend Obama’s vacations at work to angry white men (I live in Paul Ryan’s district), so I feel weird taking offense at this. Now, if there was specific language in the budget to allocate money for private parties like that one, then I’ll change my tune.

          That, and to quote Nancy Reagan, “There are no vacations for the president, only changes of scenery.”

          • Takoma DC

            Ok. Do you believe if Snyder were D many many many republicans would be not-calmly-discussing Snyder’s use of his very lucrative salary bestowed upon him by the MI taxpayers? Also too as a U.S. Senator, he and his family have excellent health care benefits with access to the very best drs, hospitals, treatments if they were to be tragically poisoned accidentally on purpose. Most people, even middle-class people, certainly low income Michiganers do not have this luxury.

            While I’ve never berated any president or pres’s family for traveling and holidaying, I do question why President Obama visited the Detroit Car Show a few weeks back without making a visit to Flint. I think symbolically it would have been very uplifting for the victims of Flint. Even if he can only offer platitudes at this time, sometimes words of hope and positive change can motivate people to overcome monumental challenges.

            I’m hoping that Obama is working some Afro-Jesus-Magic behind the scenes. Barack works in mysterious ways and has awesome strategic timing.

          • BurgersAndFlies

            To the first point: Oh yeah, they would. But then again, they like to stir up controversy (and to be fair, so do we). It’s more, as I said, having to defend Obama’s vacations sort of has made me numb to politicians spending lavishly, and that’s without getting into the “best healthcare in the US ever” part. I really don’t care, as long as shit gets done.

            To be fair, Snyder is not getting shit done, so yeah, that’s a point not in his favor.

          • Cindyinencinitas

            There is such a thing as conspicuous consumption and this was certainly no ordinary birthday party. A few hats and hooters wouldn’t make the news. This man is a pimple on the ass of this country and is manifesting every aspect of Social Darwinism. The Olive Garden is too good for these people.

    • It’s not the same thing at all. STFU.

    • Franziska Fischer

      Apparently you have already been drinking leaded water for years. What a rambling non sequitur, ????

    • Mintie

      Think of it this way–Obama has taken far fewer vacations than Reagan and W. So they’re less the “I’m fiddling while Rome burns” and more the “if I don’t get to sleep in at least tomorrow I’m going to push the big red button and Putin can suck my dick” vacations.

  • God Zilla

    This is just obscene. How uncaring does that POS governor have to be to just carry on as if everything is honky dory in Flint?

  • Bill Miller

    Nice rambling. ..this trash showed up in my “news ” feed … maybe next time you can “report ” on how much Governor Snyders’ pants cost. ….

    • Tallmutha

      Oh, hi, Bill! You’re a dick who should be reading some other site!

      • Bill Miller

        Yes, yes I am…and he’ll Yes on reading “some ” other site ;)

        • glennisw

          I heartily concur, Bill, you are a dick.

          • Cindyinencinitas

            A dick who can’t spell. Our favoritest kind!

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Bill, how was the cake? I assume you were invited to the little event. Did you get to lick the knife?

    • hollydturner

      You sir apparently don’t know much about much. We are the Wonk Nation and you can love us or leave us – Your choice dickhead.

    • Franziska Fischer

      I know wealthy people. Very wealthy. I know it is possible to have a heart and a conscience simultaneously. You’re a dick. Kind of like another wealthy man I know in Michigan, Scott Devon. He’s a dick too. He calls poor people feeders and supports Trump. But he is simple minded from all of his alcohol consumption. What’s your excuse?

  • fredoandme

    is there really any more that needs to be said?
    i can’t think of a thing.

  • calliecallie

    I have been stewing about this ever since I saw it. Have you seen his wife? She is more butch than I am. She is not a Chanel, Tiffany, Michael Kors kind of gal wearing fancy jewelry. He has a two PR firm, for pete’s sake! This is just so beyond good sense that it can’t be a real thing. It’s intentional, calculated.

    I think this is just part of a set up for Snyder’s “Ronald Reagan” defense. He will pretend he was just clueless, out of touch and incompetent to avoid jail time.

    • Ranina

      Hmmmm…”affluenza”?

  • Steven Posey

    Should have made them a cake using Flint’s municipal water.

  • vivian

    As an alternative, howzabout some Snyder piñatas?

  • Johnny Wyeknot

    So, would the baker have refused to bake the cake if she had known who it was for? And no, this isn’t meant to be a reference to the Oregon bakers Sweet Cakes by Melissa or Ms. Cottonelle.

  • huntermike989

    So the governor wanted to do something nice for his wife…. yeah ok.

  • Mark Dobrowolski

    i still think that Flint is a real estate scram. Step 1 provide the ‘urbans’ with incentives to leave quickly (moving or dying, either is acceptable). After that happens, step 2 sell the land to a developer (suddenly it will be profitable to rebuild the water system). Step 3, “oh look, a redevelopment success”.

    • Angry and Short

      Then pull the rug out 5 years later when the hipsters figure out that the schools suck.

    • Mintie

      Makes perfect sense to me.

  • TJ Zzyzzx

    I’m certainly not known for my style, but understand why people are into fashion. If I could afford Chanel–and could enter the store to buy it without being shown the door, I’d be lining up…

    But this cake isn’t about fashion, it’s about shopping for expensive things. Is there anyone who would be OK with knowing that her husband thinks this would be a good choice for her? I’d worry about his opinion of me. Am I overanalyzing?

    • Cindyinencinitas

      I think she’s stressing about their little adventure coming to an end and he tried to comfort her by reminding her of all the cool shit she scored while they were there. I hope it keeps her side of the bed warm in her dotage, cuz I think her man’s about done.

  • whitroth

    Dear Gov. Snyder,

    Four of the last seven governors of Illinois went to jail, as in, actually served jail time.

    Still think you’re home free?

    mark

  • Angry and Short

    Question: If it takes 30 hours to make a cake, is it still edible?

    • Mintie

      Most of the 30 hours are spent preparing the fondant. The actual cake itself is baked and then frozen, because it’s easier to decorate when it’s a brick of sponge-ice. It gets defrosted hours prior to serving, and the fondant and frosting locks in a lot of the moisture. Even non-fancy cakes you pre-order from a bakery are made this way.

      • Angry and Short

        So, no. Fondant is a Pox

        • Mintie

          I’m not fond of fondant either, but I don’t think I’d go so far as to equate it with syphilis . . .

  • Invidosa

    Damn these people to hell. I honestly don’t have any snark left on this one. It’s just fucking depressing, and saps any faith I have left in humanity. The fact that this piece of shit and his piece of shit wife (she’s cool with doing this and that makes her a piece of shit in my eyes) and all his pieces of shit advisors, lawyers & PR firms think it’s just peachy fucking keen to drop a fuck ton of money on a fucking party make me sad to
    live.

    West end grill is super nice though. I’ve only ever eaten there once in the 15 years I’ve lived here . . . cause its too fucking expensive.

  • Frank Rossman

    “And so we see how the Snyder Family celebrates Ma Snyder’s birthday:

    An offering to the God Mammon.

    Come eat of this CHANEL, and let the power of Mammon be with you.

    Come gorge on this NORDSTROM, and feel the essence of Mammon enter your soul.

    Come devour this MICHAEL KORS, and become one with Mammon anon and anon.

  • Frank Rossman

    Wow, Team Snyder is awash in hubris. “Let them eat cake!”

  • klepp0906

    The disaster wasn’t his or his wife’s doing, albeit they’re in a position to do something and were and are. It was unfortunate but the fact the nigs are poverty stricken isn’t his doing either. That rests with their species innate desire to take instead of earn.

    He is just as entitled to party and use his money on what he wants as the rest of us.

    PS – I hate Snyder. Almost as bad as I hated granholm. Seriously who elects these people?

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