God Turns His Back On Gay-Hatin' Tennessee Lawmakers

We dunno.

It's a bad week for gay-bashing political types in the Tennessee legislature. They just KNEW they had an ace in the hole, a sexciting new way to ban the Supreme Court from forcing gaysexual homo-nasty into their Christian throats, with a bill called the Natural Marriage Defense Act, which would have overturned the SCOTUS ruling on gay marriage, at least for Tennessee's purposes. Or that's what the bill's supporters believed it would do, because they are dumb as dog dicks.

So the supporters prayed and prayed for God to help them de-gay Tennessee, and God rolled His eyes and said He was going to brunch with the homos:

A bill seeking to block the U.S. Supreme Court's gay marriage ruling in Tennessee was defeated Wednesday in the state House over concerns about nullifying federal rulings.

The Civil Justice Subcommittee voted 4-1 against the Tennessee Natural Marriage Defense Act sponsored by Republican Rep. Mark Pody of Lebanon, who argued that the ruling should not supersede an amendment to the state constitution defining marriage as between a man and a woman.

TOO BAD SO SAD. What's super great is that two of the votes against the bill were cast by Republican human-like Tennessean lawmakers:

Republican Rep. Mike Carter of Chattanooga said that although he disagrees with the high court's ruling, he considered the proposal to be a step too far.

"Nullification scares the daylights out of me," Carter said. "Because no one will answer me who has the authority to nullify, and nobody will answer me where that authority is derived."

Because it doesn't exist! Also, on top of that whole "unconstitutional" thing, it turns out the bill would have cost the state $8.5 billion in federal moneys, specifically "$6.5 billion in federal Medicaid money and another $2 billion in food stamp and Temporary Assistance for Needy Families funds." Now, we know how Republicans like to fuck the poors, so we're impressed they didn't jizz all over the bill and pass it out of committee unanimously.

The bill's sponsor, Rep. Mark Pody, is a real dingus. He thinks Jesus spoked into his earhole and told him to destroy gay marriage in Tennessee:

“Ladies and gentlemen, I believe I’m supposed to be speaking to the unsaved, to the people that are performing same-sex marriages, to the people involved in same-sex marriage, it is wicked, it is wrong and I am doing the best I can to warn them,” said Rep. Mark Pody at a recent event in Nashville.

Stupidass, Jesus doesn't even know your name.

The supporters of the failed Tennessee bill, silly geese that they are, prayed afterward that God would help them find new ways to murder gay marriage in the butt, because if they don't, terrible things will happen:

"We have to do something quickly, because there's a cliff ahead of us, a civilization, and it's within sight," said Lydon Allen, a pastor at the Woodmont Bible Church in Nashville.

Oh fuck! We're going off a cliff into the valley of gay and civilization is over and pitiful bigots are being forced to coexist with people who are different from them! Better pray harder!

Unfortunately, all their prayers went to God's spam folder, with the Russian porn and the Nigerian scam letters, never to be answered.

[ AP   via   The Advocate ]