SHARE
Soooooo hiiiiiiiiiigh you guyyyyyyysssss
Soooooo hiiiiiiiiiigh you guyyyyyyysssss

Oh dear. It seems New York Times columnist and comedienne has overdosed on candy again, and, in a marijuana-fueled rage, has typed another mud puddle of words on her favorite subject in all the land, Madam You-Know-Who:

After running as a man last time around, Hillary Clinton is now running as a woman.

The nerve! The audacity! The oh-the-humanity of Hillary Clinton foolishly thinking that in this, the year of our Jesus Effing Christ two thousand and SIXTEEN, it might be OK to run for president as a woman. (Ha, stupid Hillz, wrong again!)

Matthew Dowd, the former W. strategist who became an independent, says Hillary got it backward: She should have run as a woman in 2008, when she was beating back a feminized antiwar candidate. And she should have run as a man this time, when Americans feel beleaguered and scared and yearn for something “big and masculine and strong,” as Dowd put it.

It’s so hard to remember that Maureen Dowd is supposed to be one of the “liberal” columnists at the Times, the left side of the “both sides do it” counterweight to the equally insufferable David Brooks, for example, and Ross Douthat, the cranky old man trapped in a Gen-Xer’s dad bod, who wants you kids to stop doing sex, listening to hippity hop, and for god’s sake, get off his lawn. It’s always hard, really, but especially so when MoDo is approvingly citing George Dubya Bush’s former strategist to simultaneously call Barack Obama a pussy and Hillary Clinton a stupid “woman,” instead of reassuring terrified Americans by swinging her big ol’ genitals, like a real man.

MoDo’s list of complaints include Clinton campaigning with popular women (!), appearing on a woman-hosted “cozy chat show with women” on Lifetime (!!), and talking about how when she was a little girl, she was a little girl instead of boy and what that was like (!!!). Perhaps most offensively of all, however:

She told Rachel Maddow she wouldn’t rule out an all-estrogen ticket by choosing a female running mate.

What a transparent case of special-interest pandering, refusing to deny that it’s at least hypothetically possible that the best candidate to be her running mate might be a woman. As if there is more than one woman in the entire country adequately qualified to fuck up America from the Oval Office as well as any of the men before her.

Dowd, allegedly a fellow woman — and a liberal, don’t forget — launches into a tirade of why women are terrible, actually:

It always sounds nice to say that women are more collegial and empathetic and helpful to other women and that they see the big picture more clearly, and sometimes it’s true. But sometimes it’s not — especially with hard-boiled alpha women trying to break gender barriers.

Look at Carly Fiorina’s crash at Hewlett-Packard.

We have looked at Fiorina’s crash at Hewlett-Packard, many times. But Fiorina-bashing is not the point here. As per usual and always, the point is that Maureen Dowd really, really, really cannot stand that woman, Hillary Clinton. And, dude, she just took an extra big hit off her chocolate pot bar and she has this AMAZING insight:

Since we cannot know if a woman is going to overcompensate on machismo — as Hillary did on the unjustified Iraq invasion — we may want to look at it a different way.

It may be more relevant to ask if someone is a cat or a dog.

The feline Barack Obama began his aloof reign wanting to prowl alone on the stage and he’s ending it the same way.

It may be more relevant — or it may be that Maureen Dowd ran out of semi-coherent ideas for her columns back when scrunchies were still a thing. We won’t bother with a close reading of her arguments that President Obama is like a cat, cold and aloof, hissing at Dowd and refusing to cuddle her through the long winter nights. No, let’s skip right ahead to the “What even the hell?” crescendo:

Both Hillary and Trump have been emphasizing that they will do a lot more schmoozing with lawmakers and others who disagree with them, vowing to be dogs with a bone, eager canines offering paws, and not a cool cat stalking away at the first sign of difficulty or when affection is most desired.

“You have to build those relationships and constantly be looking for common ground no matter how small a sliver it may be,” Hillary told The Des Moines Register on Monday.

We were led to believe that Clinton is barely likable (at best!) and frigid (obviously; just look at all the blood on her hands and the splooge stains on other women’s dresses). But now that she’s trying to build relationships like a typical weak-female puppy dog named Donald Trump … you know what? We can’t finish that thought, because we have no idea where it was supposed to go other than the timeless Dowd conclusion that HILLARY CLINTON BAD.

After all these decades, you’d think Dowd might get tired of trying to invent clever ways to say that. You’d think.

[NYT]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Nounverb911

    Dowd’s still a virgin isn’t she?

    • Lizzietish81

      She strikes me as the type who read 50 shades and thinks it’s naughty because she is strictly missionary.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        This is one case where I think we can say, with no hesitation, that Twilight was a better love story.

        • Lizzietish81

          Well one is a story of an abusive relationship being marketed as “romantic” thanks to our patriarchal society’s determination to keep women down, written by and for people who have no idea what S&M is about or involves.

          The other is the same but fanfiction.

  • Msgr_Moment

    Feline? Hell, Obama’s a Honey Badger.

    • SadDemInTex

      He is now!

  • Enfant Terrible

    The very thought of Hillary Clinton is enough to make Maureen Dowd stand in front of an open freezer and eat ice cream out of the carton.

    • Joe Beese

      ..

  • crunchyknee

    Dowd just can’t stop thinking about Bill’s penis.

  • TheBidenator
  • Nounverb911

    Is Maureen mad at the Clinton’s because Bill chose Monica over her?

  • Joe Beese

    Doesn’t she fear death from the agents of the Clinton Machine? Or has Huckabee instructed her in his secret arts of survival?

  • Lizzietish81

    Kids…don’t mix pot and meth, this is what happens.

    • dshwa

      Palin libel!!!1!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Also, too, brownies and Bartles&Jaymes coolers do not go together.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        But you know what does go together with Bartles & Jaymes Wine Coolers?

        • Michael Smith

          Listening to Andy Samburg and Justin Timberlake’s “Golden Rule,” and chuckling at its mention of that beverage?

          • Gayer Than Thou

            You know who could get it? Andy Samberg and Justin Timberlake. I’ll bring the Bartles & Jaymes.

        • theCryptofishist

          Grey Poupon?

        • JoyP

          Pork rinds?

        • kindness

          Barefoot Palins & neighborhood brawls?

          It’s either that or barefoot Palin’s pregnancy.

    • AngryBlakGuy

      …yeah, look what happened to this poor guy

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Yet the “two hits later” dude can walk down the street and not be assumed to be armed with skittles.

      • PubOption

        Wow, I think Michael Jackson went to a lot more trouble and expense, and never really got as white as this guy.

    • tehbaddr

      Pretty sure she’s got some booze in the mix there also, too.

  • Pinkham’s Law

    “. . . you’d think Dowd might get tired of trying to invent clever ways to say that.”

    She’s in it for the challenge.

    • FlownOver

      In spite of an epic streak of failures.

  • SpideySenser

    Americans feel beleaguered and scared and yearn for something “big and masculine and strong”
    WTF …

    • Lizzietish81
    • Joe Beese

      Doesn’t get more “alpha dog” than this.

      • TheBidenator

        I don’t know which one is sleazier and who I should feel more sorry for: the manufacturer of that shaving cream for being touched by both Trump and McMahon or the inbred rednecks who hooted and hollered at this while dreaming that someday they’ll be as rich as either of them….

    • kaydenpat

      So for Maureen, no woman can ever be President, I guess.

  • Me not sure

    I hate to say this, but Trump might be right about The NYT.

  • Michael Smith

    What? Its more relevant to ask whether a candidate is a cat or a dog, than whether a man or a woman? Huh?

    She really might be high.

  • TheBidenator

    What is it with Modo’s obsession with proving George Dubya Bush was a man and Obama is a wuss? You know, Modo a whole hell of a lot more shit went down and the US was slighted a lot more often when we had Dubya in the White House. I mean it wasn’t enough that the guy was a constant, 8 year long punchline on the late night shows he also had Hugo Chavez insulting him saying he farted when he spoke at the UN. Trump is not hyper masculine, he just pretends to be…being a man means being in control of your emotions and doing your damndest not to look like a clown everyone should make fun of-the death of fear and respect is constant laughter. So, STFU MoDo you clearly have no idea what being a man is about and your constant attempts to make wimps and clowns into manly men proves it….

    • harryeagar

      Donald looks so manly in that doorman’s uniform he wore at New York Military Academy though. Clothes make the man

      • JoyP

        OMG! Doorman’s uniform. LMAO.

    • kaydenpat

      She’s an idiot. Anyone who compares Shrub to President Obama favorably cannot be taken seriously. President Obama had to dig this country out of the hole that Shrub/Cheney put us into with his hapless foreign and domestic policies.

      Thank goodness for President Obama’s coolness and levelheadedness. I hope our next President is just as calm, cool and collected in dealing not only with foreign matters but with our own Republican obstructionists.

    • Spudger

      Since MoDo trades in gender stereotyping, let me respond in kind: Sounds like she’s trying to retroactively justify a drunken holiday party decision to give dubs a beej in the breakroom utility closet.

      • Marion in Savannah

        EWWW… Some things, having been imagined, cannot be unimagined.

      • She was leader of the Coalition of the Willing.

    • willi0000000

      i learned, in bars (much too long ago), that the guy you watch out for isn’t the one talking loud and bragging . . . seen too many one-punch fights won by the quiet guy just minding his own business until literally shoved (usually for the third or fourth time) by the loud.

  • Ricky Gay

    Maureen was replaced by a Mechanical Turk long ago. (yes there is a tiny man in her, pulling levers)

    • Gristle McThornbody

      “Maureen was replaced by a Mechanical Turk long ago. (yes there is a tiny man in her, pulling levers).”

      More like 23,965 little people in her, pulling levers for .02¢ per pull. (Yes, I Turked awhile out of desperation)

  • SadDemInTex

    The feline Barak Obama…omg that vision is so hot…I will be in my bunk until later.

    • SnarkTank

      I’m trying to figure out which of the “Cats” he is: Mr. Mistoffeles? Skimbleshanks? Grizzabella, mayhaps (I can see him belting “Memory”)?

      • Marion in Savannah

        Bustopher Jones would be my guess, except Obama’d need to put on a pound or two. (Bustopher Jones is not skin and bones…)

  • Callyson

    It always sounds nice to say that women are more collegial and empathetic and helpful to other women and that they see the big picture more clearly, and sometimes it’s true. But sometimes it’s not — especially with hard-boiled alpha women trying to break gender barriers.

    Look at Carly Fiorina’s crash at Hewlett-Packard.

    Sometimes things are one way and sometimes they are another way? Well, I’m completely convinced!!!

    • harryeagar

      I’m pretty sure nobody ever said Fiorina was collegial and empathetic, especially not anybody who worked for her

    • edith prickly

      MoDo always writes about women as though she isn’t one. Draw your own conclusions…

  • Pinkham’s Law

    Y’know, there was a time, in the distant past, when I probably could have smoked Willie Nelson under the table. What I’m trying to say is, I’ve been *really* high before, ok?

    I don’t think I’ve ever been *this* high. At least, not when I was trying to do something productive. WTF?

  • Come here a minute

    Earth to MoDo: Delete your account!

  • AngryBlakGuy

    “big and masculine and strong,”

    …looks like someone may need to change their panties!!!

  • Villago Delenda Est

    MoDo needs to get over the fact that The Clenis found her unpalatable.

    Yeah, right, like that will ever happen…

  • dshwa

    No MoDo, Bill still doesn’t think you’re fuckable. Get over it already.

    • Vecciojohn LLC

      I know he wanted to do it with me, but the bitch had the secret service guys trail me.

      • Biff52

        Those goons surrounded me at one of his speeches. Do you think they were actually bird-dogging for him?

  • Vecciojohn LLC

    I bet Hillary throws like a girl, too.

  • Callyson

    we cannot know if a woman is going to overcompensate on machismo — as Hillary did on the unjustified Iraq invasion…

    Republicans may get a boost from “security moms,” women who moved toward the Republican Party after 9/11 and who have gotten jittery again after the spate of ISIS attacks

    Which is it, MoDo: does Hillary need to stop being macho or start getting tougher?

    • Lizzietish81

      Fun factoid, Misha Collins was also an intern in the Clinton White House.

    • Biff52

      Those “security moms” don’t seem to understand that it will be their precious snowflakes who get sucked in to their wars.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …if Barack Obama had the temperament of a “cat” he would’ve waited until congress was in session then chained the doors shut and burn it down.

    • TheBidenator

      and then eaten all the corpses before demanding we praise him for it….

      • Lizzietish81

        and then hacked them up on the new carpet

        • Biff52

          Shrub’s Oval Office job, I hope.

    • Vecciojohn LLC

      Oh fuck, I want this to happen sooooo bad.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Or he would have walked on Boehner’s face at 3:00 a.m., and then sat outside the doors of Congress, neither going out nor staying in.

      • Kristenmlockett3

        1❝my neighbor’s mate is getting 98$. HOURLY on the internet❞….

        A few days ago new McLaren F1 subsequent after earning 18,512$,,,this was my previous month’s paycheck ,and-a little over, 17k$ Last month ..3-5 h/r of work a day ..with extra open doors & weekly. paychecks.. it’s realy the easiest work I have ever Do.. I Joined This 7 months ago and now making over 87$, p/h.Learn More right Here
        3ymt…..
        ➤➤
        ➤➤➤ http://GlobalSuperEmploymentVacanciesReportsVector/GetPaid/98$hourly❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.

    • kaydenpat

      What kind of cat do you own?

      • AngryBlakGuy

        …I no longer own a cat; he is currently awaiting trial at The Hague

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Exqueeze me, no one “owns” a cat. The cat owns you.

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      Also known as Plan X.
      Wherever you go, whatever you do, remind yourself you are not trapped. There is always planX

    • edith prickly

      After taking a shit on the Speaker’s desk.

  • TheBidenator

    “big and masculine and strong”
    Close- Trump is fat, hunched over and old with big, strong hair….Ted Cruz is made of Canadian bacon without any bone structure.

    • Vecciojohn LLC

      Marco is a candy ass, and he’s their last, best hope.

      • TheBidenator

        Who wears high heels…and Jeb looks like Julia Childs with a sad, pinched face…

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Exactly. Marco is a candy ass. As terrible as that ¡Heb! commercial was (Nancy Sinatra, have your lawyers contacted him yet?) the boots thing was so spot on.

    • Joe Beese

      ..

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Backpfeifengesicht

        • Hutch

          Just crying out for one!

      • TheBidenator

        Great, you just made me break my computer screen punching that face and now I’m unemployed…REAL helpful. :cleans out desk:

      • Michael Smith

      • Melanie Scott

        The face that launched a thousand new lesbians. (And can you blame them?)

  • dshwa

    So Obama is a cat because he doesn’t get all hysterical at the drop of a hat and freak out at every crisis but maintains his composure and some how this is a bad thing in a President?

    Tl;Dr shut the fuck up, MoDo

    • Enfant Terrible

      Invalid analogy aLERT!!!

      https://youtu.be/QY-zngxmT_U

      • Marion in Savannah

        Oh, SQUEEEE…! But poor kitten…!

    • natoslug

      Yeah . . . no, MoDo you dodo. My most recent cat experience (last night, while trying to watch the debates): Three-legged black cat curled up against my neck at the top of the couch, white yappy dog lying on its back, eyes closed, feet in the air, next to my own feet. Bitchy Cat (four legs, likes to pee on things) finishes peeing in either the hibiscus or pineapple plant or wherever it is she goes when we don’t pay enough attention to her, then wanders over to the couch, leaps onto the end, and starts hissing at the three legged cat. White yippee dog rolls over, shoots straight into the air, and runs to hide under the nearest chair. Black Cat loses his calm and embeds himself, all three paws gripping my neck as he is startled, and screams back at Bitchy Cat, then they proceed to swat the fuck out of each other while I deal with the kitty dagger holes in my neck. Like fucks about anything Maureen Dowd has to say, there was zero composure to be found in the room. I don’t think Maureen has ever met a cat. As for dogs, she sounds a bit obsessed with boning them.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Other than the fact that all of my cats have 4 legs your evenings sound very much like mine!

  • Vecciojohn LLC

    El Gato strikes again!

  • Randy Riddle

    The professor should Google this. I think she copied and pasted the assignment this week.

  • Spotts1701

    Hey MoDo:

    • Marion in Savannah

      You’re assuming she had a point, other than “Clinton BAAAD!”

  • tehbaddr

    Zoomorphism often MoDo?

  • harryeagar

    Big like Marco Rubio, perchance?

    • dshwa

      I think MoDo is more into the Christy type. Big, vindictive (which is seen as strong in some circles), loud, and brash (also confused with strong in some circles). She definitely wants a piece of Big Chicken (h/t Charlie Pierce)

      • TheBidenator

        Big Chicken wants a piece of Big Chicken…then he wants chocolate cake, several milkshakes and an entire box of Little Debbie’s brownies to wash it all down….

        • FlownOver

          Plus the cakes he likes, i.e., AOT,K.

      • Joe Beese

        Big.

  • TheBidenator

    I dunno, I think Hillary is doing a much better job running as she is now than when she ran in 2008. Also, Matthew Dowd is talking about authoritarianism which wingnuts can never get enough of and as authoritarian followers respond really well to but most other people want substance and to find out what can be done to fix the mess that has persisted since Raygun started stinking up the white house with old man smell. If Dowd was right, Donald Trump would be up YOOOGE on the Democrats but he isn’t so yeah, STFU former Bushite.

    • uniquename72

      “I think Hillary is doing a much better job running as she is now than when she ran in 2008. ”

      Well, there’s far less overt racism coming out of the Hillary camp, but it could be because she’s not running against a black man.

      • Joe Beese

        Has she hired someone who knows how California apportions delegates?

        • Villago Delenda Est

          One has to wonder what the brain trust in Redmond was thinking when they hired that idiot Mark Penn.

          • FlownOver

            “We can short our own stock and really cash in!”

      • JD Mulvey

        Give one example of this “overt racism.”

        • JD Mulvey

          Yup, that’s what I thought.

    • kaydenpat

      Secretary Clinton is running better this time around. In 2008, she underestimated Candidate Obama’s appeal and was blindsided when he started to win primaries. Hopefully this time she’ll remain calm even if she loses some primaries at the beginning.

  • Vecciojohn LLC

    Estrogen? Ick!

    • Lizzietish81

      She needs to get with Ann Coulter, who also hates other women. They can bond

      • Gayer Than Thou

        I will say this – I’ve learned something here today, from Maureen Dowd, and that’s that women are nothing more than their hormones. And not even all of their hormones, either – just the one! #TheMoreYouKnow

        • Spudger

          I want to see an all Ghrelin ticket, myself. Satisfying lunch for all Americans. Perhaps even a Ghrelin/Melatonin split ticket. Bring the spanish siesta to the people! Lunch and a nap.

      • cleos_mom

        If she can determine where “Dr.” Laura Schlessinger is hiding out, they could have a threesome.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      MoDo is trying, desperately, to turn Estrogen into Testosterone, and she’s missing the point entirely (see Spotts1701 post below) in the process.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Shorter Maureen Dowd: Hillary’s like a dog that’s female, and you know what the word for that is!

    https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/21/20/1e/21201ea55aa0a281cf594eed8bd5722a.gif

    • kaydenpat

      Now that looks like an interesting movie.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        The Women. Famous for its entirely-female cast (no male appears on screen at any time). Worth a watch, if you can overlook its 1939 sensibilities and gender politics. And despite its having an entirely female case, few (if any) of its scenes pass the Bechdel Test, and the action is entirely driven by the female characters’ relationships to men. On the other hand, Norma Shearer, Joan Crawford, Rosalind Russell, Joan Fontaine, Marjorie Main, Paulette Goddard … /filmnerd

        • Lizzietish81

          You know what movie does pass the Beshdel test?

          Night of the Comet.

          • Historicat

            “We’re going to the North Pole to see Santa!”
            “That’s sick.”

        • jmhm

          That’s kind of perfect. She sort of screams jungle red claws.

  • Vecciojohn LLC

    Try an indica chocolate next time, dear.

  • arglebargle
  • Ikimizi

    If she runs as a man, which rest room is she supposed to pee in?

    • theCryptofishist

      The one furthest away from Donald Trump.
      Obs.

    • Vecciojohn LLC

      Do we really want someone in the White House who pees sitting down?

      • TheBidenator

        Which is why we definitely don’t want to elect any Republican and Trump pees in his diapers, so he can go standing up or sitting down….

        • Vecciojohn LLC

          I know he can shit out of his mouth.

    • natoslug

      The same as the rest of us; the ficus in the corner.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    What the everlasting fuck? I mean, presumably the New York Times can still afford to hire intelligent people, right? Among other things, I am just so bored with pundits who reduce giant complex phenomena that span years and involve many people into simple cliches about personalities.

    https://45.media.tumblr.com/f3cf47a2aad28c0ea7af426226c24a58/tumblr_mj7ht8hWG51qlycwjo1_400.gif

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Let’s see now…David Brooks, MoDo, Ross Douchehat…they might be able to afford to hire intelligent people, but they don’t.

    • Vecciojohn LLC

      The Times is now edited by robots and its hiring is done by a service run by one of Bill Keller’s old mistresses.

    • Joe Beese

      ..

  • Vecciojohn LLC

    There is only one conclusion I can reach after reading this. Mo’s cat is being a little bitch and she blames Obama.

  • edith prickly

    What do you mean “again”? being high is her resting state.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Oh, if only she were high most of the time… Being high doesn’t turn you into a venom-spewing haridan. Now, were she sharing a few boxes of bad wine with Ann Althouse that might explain her bad hangover venom.

      • edith prickly

        Ann Althouse!! God, that’s a blast from the past. Is she still alive?

  • edith prickly

    Shorter every column MoDo has ever spewed out: Bill hit on that fat cow Monica but not me, why why WHY…? therefore all Dem males are wimps and fuck you, Hillary.

    • Marion in Savannah

      This is the absolute best, and I mean BESTEST, MoDo “shorter” that has ever been written. I warn you now that I may steal it, but I’ll give you credit. Brilliant!

      • edith prickly

        Thank you, i’m honoured!

  • FauxAntocles

    Is Matthew Dowd her alter ego?

    • Vecciojohn LLC

      Evil twin? Imaginary friend?

    • cmd

      Peggy Noonan?

    • jmhm

      Matthew Dowd is the Bush advisor who convinced Karl Rove not to be such a centrist because there weren’t enough independents to matter.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    I’m lost right at the start – I don’t get the “ran last time as a man, this time as a woman” joke. Hillary ran in 2008 as a man? Nope, not getting it. What does she mean? Is it funny?

    • Joe Beese

      ..

    • kaydenpat

      Is Maureen ever funny in a haha way? Or just funny as in bizarre?

      • TheGrandWaz00

        Funny as in the way milk smells when it starts to turn.

    • cmd

      Maybe it is like that cartoon CatDog, which my dad tried to watch once and said he just didn’t get it.

    • Playonwords

      Pant Suits were highlighted by the meeja so …

      But I could be wrong …

    • jmhm

      Her narrative for the Obama/Clinton primaries was that Obama was a Real Man and Clinton was a grizzled ball-busting freak of nature (those of us who were around for Clinton 1.0 will remember that Ms Dowd strongly suggested in pretty much every column that Hillary’s lack of womanliness was a direct cause of her husband’s penis issues). And Our Miss Do feels real strongly that real women make it by charming men (no, seriously, she wrote a book about it).

      Since then she’s been writing about Obama being not so much effeminate but testosterone-deprived (something she has, by sheer coincidence, discovered about pretty much every national Democrat, but particularly the ones whose wives were both accomplished and married). But for that one brief shining moment, he was more of a man in Dowdworld than Hillary was.

      Presumably now that the Republican primary is a raging spoogefest MoDo’s going to return the favor and make Hillary more of a woman than he is.

  • natoslug

    Wonkette is going to need a new series of Shut The Fuck Up mugs.

    • Vecciojohn LLC

      Don’t bother. She’ll never shut up about That Woman.

  • Melanie Scott

    Dowd? She’s a walking abortion; squeeze her nose and you get a snot martini.

    But her NYT co-splooger? He still wants to touch the penis of an ex-President.

    How many choirboys has Ross Douthat molested?

    I hope the NYT gets him some help. His fucked-up church certainly won’t.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2016/01/17/opinion/sunday/the-bill-clinton-question.html?ref=opinion&comments&_r=0#commentsContainer

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The Jedi say that no one is beyond redemption.

      They never met Ross Douchehat.

      • Melanie Scott

        I wonder what his “wife” does while he slathers out “insight?”

        • Marion in Savannah

          It’s interesting. Ross Cardinal Don’t Douthat is more Catholic than the Pope. He married (EWWWW…imagine being his wife…EWWWW) in 2007 and I have yet to hear of any children. Has that marriage been comsummated? It would be irresponsible not to speculate…

      • Everhope

        Nor the reptilian Cruz…but wait…the list elongates before our very eyes. It’s like a lava seam that breaks through the surface, dives, dives, dives only to run faster and hotter…Rubio, Racoon Coiffed Trump…Lil Ricky Santorum, Pat Robertson…the lava pours faster, faster….

    • Playonwords

      Will Ross Do-it-that-way be a ble to keep his hnds off Marco Rubio?

  • kaydenpat

    How nice it would be to have a job like Ms. Dowd’s where I could write foolishness and get paid handsomely for it for one of the top newspapers in the world. Good for her. She shows that dumb people can make a great living.

    • Vecciojohn LLC
      • Gayer Than Thou

        Maureen O’Dowd does not deserve Ella Fitzgerald.

    • crisptickle

      “one of the top newspapers in the world” <<— that's some grade A snark, there.

    • Marion in Savannah

      There’s a difference between “dumb” and “bitch.” For the former the NYT relies on Bobo Brooks and Ross Don’t Douthat. For the latter they have MoDo.

  • weejee

    …she wouldn’t rule out an all-estrogen ticket…

    And what, pray tell, would be wrong with that?

    • Vecciojohn LLC

      They’d probably be lezzing out when they should be looking for weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Or their cycles would sync, and for like five days out of every month neither one of them could do anything.

        • NanBullenshede

          Not likely. Madame Hillary art closing seventy. She burnt her last rag two and twenty Decades ago.

          • Gayer Than Thou

            Nay, but surely ’tis but two and twenty years? Though she be not so youthful of face as fair Carly – though the work of medicine’s dark arts are much suspected – she hath but seventy orbits, not two hundred and twenty.

          • Marion in Savannah

            Trust me — this old bitch just turned 70 today and she burned her last rag about 20 years ago so NanBullenshede is right as rain!

          • Biff52

            Happy birthday, molotov!

          • FlownOver

            I’m guessing GTT, handle notwithstanding, is aware of this. Snark detectors on stun, please.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Wouldn’t let the little head make all the decisions. Which would probably result in a more sane planet.

        • Vecciojohn LLC

          When did a man ever go wrong thinking with his weenie?

          • Gayer Than Thou

            I feel like this is a trick question…

        • zerosumgame0005

          right up to the moment Chris Pratt takes his shirt off!

      • Marion in Savannah

        Well, they could snuggle up under the desk together, which is where C+ Augustus thought the WMD were hiding.

    • Rick Hill

      It would make the ticket all soggy, for one thing. You ever spill estrogen on important papers you’re working on? The ink will always run.

      • Squirrel_t_robot

        Heck, don’t let estrogen in the room, even.

        Dangerous!

        • Rick Hill

          There are protocols in place that need to be followed if it spills, as well.

        • Iam Reading

          I have the same rule for glitter, which is the craft equivalent of herpes

          • Marion in Savannah

            Right you are. That shit needs a Hazmet suit and an industrial vacuum to clean out of a carpet.

    • TheBidenator

      It’s four sets of tits rather than the usual two (from a GOP ticket)…I fail to see a problem with this.

      • Rick Hill

        You mean Turnip’s not a big enough boob to equalize that?

        • TheBidenator

          He’d need Chris Christie’s moobs to really offset it…they can both wear their manziers and be like, “what’s up now, ladies?” whilst grabbing their crotches….

          • Rick Hill

            Ok. I think it’s about time this thread went to bed and thought about where it’s been. Shower first though because so much Eeeew.

        • Marion in Savannah

          Well, as TheBindenator suggested, Christie’s moobs might help. But I doubt that he’d settle for second place. However, Hugh “MOOBS” Hewitt might be persuaded to leave his current sinecure on the Sunday Morning Bobbleheads to take a Veep spot.

  • Rick Hill

    Too much WTF going on for her to even register on the meter. Go get some synergy going with the Coulter beast and get back with us.

  • Jack Parsons

    Dose Responsibly!

  • Paperless Tiger

    Hillary. Alpha or silverback? You decide.

  • Egret1

    Before slamming Hillary for her vote in the Iraq War (which actually does deserve slamming), MoDo might want to examine the role that reporter Judith Miller played in this war. And while she is at it, she might want to note the name of the paper that Miller worked for.

    • JD Mulvey

      It’s much harder to work in the required Hillary-slamming if she were to waste all those column inches talking about her paper’s epic failures.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Let’s see now. Badmouthing Robert Goddard. Missing the boat on Watergate. Creating something out of nothing with Whitewater. Creating something out of nothing with Wenn Ho Lee. Cheerleading a war of naked aggression. Hiring Ross Douchehat. FOR STARTERS.

    • Iam Reading

      MoDo and JuMil arent the same bag of bile? Huh…..

    • FlownOver

      “All the shit that fits”?

  • kindness

    How does MoDo keep her job? She must have really crisp, really clean photos of someone higher up the chain doing something(s) they shouldn’t be doing.

    • Manhattan123

      The smart money is pictures of Pinch Sulzberger fellating one of those Times Square Elmos.

  • SayItWithWookies

    And how on earth are Trump and Hillary campaigning in similar ways? Trump keeps saying we got fucked by China, Mexico, Russia, etc. and he’s got “great relationships” with these people and he’ll fuck them back. Which doesn’t sound in any way like he’s open to conciliation. But maybe the Leggo Trump that she made for bathtime talks like she thinks he talks, I dunno.

  • malsperanza

    Maureen Dowd is a cunt

    Oh, sorry, am I doing feminism wrong? Let me try again.

    Maureen Dowd is a hag and a fucking cunt.

    • Lizzietish81

      She is neither warm nor deep.

      • Squirrel_t_robot

        And not at all friendly.

      • Playonwords

        Might be considered a bit wet tho’

      • Marion in Savannah

        Or welcoming.

    • Vecciojohn LLC

      Personally, I reserve the word cunt for men. Isn’t she really just a dick?

      • cleos_mom

        More like a hunk o’ dick cheese.

  • Squirrel_t_robot

    I am fucking exhausted by even the existence of MoDo.

    Her writing style can best be described as coyly cuntish.

    • Melanie Scott

      I tend to think she’s from the Trolly Twatish school of political anti-thought, IMHO.

  • Indiepalin

    Is she related to comedian Chris O’Dowd?

  • Vecciojohn LLC

    So Hillary used to be a transsexual or maybe just liked men’s drag and Obama is a cat of some kind? And men like me are just big pussies. Anything else we need to know, love?

  • eric

    If Clit-on becomes Purse-ident won’t her all-female cabinet sync their mensies up? We can have one high-level she-thing going crazay at a time but the whole cabinet at the same time!? It’ll be a nuke strike once a month!

    • Vecciojohn LLC

      Is Hillary still having periods? My God, the woman is amazing!

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Perhaps when she was running as a man eight years ago it suspended her biological clock?

        • Vecciojohn LLC

          Prolly used Obama’s time machine.

    • Lizzietish81
      • thebeatgoeson

        I love them…

  • baconzgood

    Ok. Maybe Baconz drunk (on only 6 glasses of wine!!!??), but what the fuck with that word salad? It helps to have a point when you write gurllll!

    • A word salad soaked in WAY too much vinegar.

  • Vecciojohn LLC

    I’m lost. Was she writing as a man or a woman when she wrote this gibberish.

    • Paperless Tiger

      Or even a human?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Only Austin Powers knows for sure.

  • Iam Reading

    How does this fool convince people to pay her for her flung monkey feces?

    • eric

      Are you kidding!? She will be GOP Nominee extraordinaire soon!

    • Lizzietish81

      Family connections? Great blow jobs? Incriminating photos?

      • eric

        It’s why I’m married.

    • Vecciojohn LLC

      I think the Times sent her to Colorado to score dope for the whole place. Every big organization needs a dealer.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Except she had such a bad time… (Really — I’d pay the NYT to send me to Colorado to explore pot…)

        • Vecciojohn LLC

          Come to Oregon. Some of the best prices in town are in my neighborhood.

  • IDon’tCareWhatYouThink

    First, Obama spent much of his tenure assuming GOP lawmakers would negotiate in good faith when in fact they were as accommodating as a Honey Badger on meth.

    Second, I would still get drunk and make-out with Maureen Dowd and that makes me very, very ashamed.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Yes, you need professional help on that second point.

    • Rasilom

      There are some mine shafts that should never ever be explored, with anyone’s “Equipment” regardless of the amount of protective wrapping.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Sweetie, your second point has me very concerned. At least you still have enough self preservation instinct to be ashamed, but you probably should consider counseling. You look like a normal, healthy guy. MoDo would probably chew you up alive and spit out the bloody gobbets.

  • Msmlg1979

    I would like to invite Maureen to shut right the fuck up.

  • Manhattan123

    This horrid woman cannot get over the fact that she threw herself at Bill Clinton and he turned her down. That ol’ dog will stick his dick in anything wet but he turned Maureen Dowd down. And she has been relentless against the Clintons ever since. Her column is the world’s longest-running “I hate you I hate you I hate” note since 8th grade.

    • Melanie Scott

      What I heard was that she never got over Bill Clinton referring to her as “Ol’ Brown Eye” after their only tryst.

      • Steverino247

        You’re saying Bill hit the wrong hole?

    • Steverino247

      Maybe Bill didn’t want a nose that sharp near his dick?

  • Ryan Denniston

    “Oh dear. It seems New York Times columnist and comedienne has overdosed on candy again, and, in a marijuana-fueled rage, has typed another mud puddle of words on her favorite subject”

    Well yes, it could be a pot brownie. But my theory is that she’s mad because along comes a SECOND Clinton that won’t give her any affection at all.

  • Ryan Denniston

    “Both Hillary and Trump have been
    emphasizing that they will do a lot more schmoozing with lawmakers and
    others who disagree with them, vowing to be dogs with a bone,”

    There’s no point. Look at the Grand Bargain; Boehner couldn’t sell it to his caucus. As long as the median member of the Republican caucus is batshit insane, there’s no point in trying to compromise.

    • Toomush_Infer

      But the bar bill will be enormous…

    • Marion in Savannah

      Oh, honey… You’re not trying to read MoDo seriously, are you? That way lies madness. Lie down, put a cool cloth on your forehead, and take a good stiff drink. You’ll feel better in a few hours.

  • Paperless Tiger

    She had to go with “feline” because “black panther” was already taken by his wife.

  • Anarchy Pony

    Penis good! Vagina bad!

    • Swampgas_Man

      If a woman becomes Supreme Commander, will missiles be shaped differently?

      • Playonwords

        Rather than explode they’ll implode.

      • Steverino247

        The warheads will be a bit bigger and shaft will be bent a bit. This will require more engineering on the guidance package, but the cost overruns will be worth it.

        • Biff52

          Also, cockpits will be renamed.

      • Toomush_Infer

        Everything changes – it’ll all be about the target….

    • Steverino247

      You’re a woman? Okay. I prefer vaginas to penii.

      • Anarchy Pony

        No I was paraphrasing MoDo.

        • Steverino247

          Ir’s cool. I’m not judging.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Well, penis is good as long as it’s not attached to anyone named “Clinton.” And of course a black man in the White House doesn’t seem to have one, because according to MoDo he’s a pussy. And there have been other men running for high office who have been called “Breck Girls” so they probably don’t have penises… With MoDo it can get very confusing…

  • jmhm

    It helps me, with MoDo, to remember that amongst the people we know for a fact she believes have exactly the right sort of nads in the right amount are herself and Howell Raines.

  • RoyalUglyDude

    I’ll finish that thought for you: Trump is like a puppy because he urinates all over everyone and everything. Bernie is a towering oak, which contains the wisdom of the ages. Hillary strong like bear. Rand Paul is odd speckled mushroom, best avoided.

    • Tansy Geek

      Rand will only give you disappointing hallucinations.

      • NanBullenshede

        That kind growth on shyte.

    • Toomush_Infer

      Rubio is a glass half full of spit….

  • Vegetablebrothel

    What I learned: Maureen Dowd inexplicably still has a job at The Times.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Which is, indisputably, a very bad thing. But so do Bobo Brooks and little Ross “Don’t” Douthat. The NYT has a lot to answer for. (The only good thing I can really say about their editorial crowd, other than Blow and Krugman, is that so for they haven’t hired Megan McCurdle. But I’m not holding my breath…)

  • Playonwords

    Questions have to be asked.

    Is MoDo the real MoDo or is she the false MoDo, a sort of quasi-ModDo?
    Is she from Mars or Venus?
    Does she hate Hillary because Hillary shagged Big Dog and MoDo didn’t?

    • Rasilom

      It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

    • guppy06
    • Marion in Savannah

      Question 1: Made me howl!
      Question 2: MoDo sounds like she’d like to cut a bitch, so I’ll say Mars.
      Question 3: Oh, hell, yeah.

  • geoffalnutt

    Clinton. It’s more than man or a woman. It’s a state of mind.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      And also cats and dogs and emus and other critters.

  • danteardenz

    Ms Dowd has never been this same after her fantasy man Rush Limbaugh found ( bought ) himself wife number four .

    • guppy06

      I’d wager he’s already found himself wife #5, if not also wife #6.

      • Land Shark

        and two rent boys to go with each.

  • LesBontemps

    Wait, you mean “newspapers” are still a thing?

    • Beaumarchais?

      My EasyOff™ can encouraged me to spread newspaper on the floor under the oven door, but I had none. I used junk mail instead.

      • Biff52

        I used my Kindle. What a mess.

        • Beaumarchais?

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    Somebody fetch Ms Dowd a box of THC laced animal crackers as she has run out of metaphors.

    • Jena-Auerstedt

      Right, the “If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?” meme was already trademarked by Barbara Walters.

      • DoILookAmused2u ?

        If I were a coral reef creature, I’d be a sponge, or leather coral, or a feather duster. Or a clown fish. Or a decorator crab.

        • Tansy Geek

          I would like to see what AOT,K would look like. If you can do the gene splicing you could be on to the next big fashion accessory trend.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Star Wars character? Darth Sidious.

      House plant? Venus fly trap.

      Kitchen Utensil? YOOOOUGE butcher knife.

      Fish? Shark.

      Cloud? Cat 5 Hurricane.

    • DemmeFatale

      Oh! And the old bait and switch!
      The “you think my column is an homage to the late, great, Robin Williams, but is instead my usual invective against Hillary” kind.
      She’s dead to me.

  • bobbert

    Since no one else has said it:

    GUURRRL, YOU HIGH AS FUCK!

  • Jena-Auerstedt

    I don’t remember Dowd spewing nearly this much invective over Sarah “Oops, I must have hit my head on a doorknob when I bent over” Palin when she was running.

    • Zippy

      Maybe Todd put out for MoDo, so no ugly jealousy

    • Marion in Savannah

      She only really HATES anyone who’s either named Clinton or is a liberal Democrat.

    • HeywoodJa

      She never wanted to f-ck Sarah Palin’s husband! She never asked him and he never turned her down! LOFL!!

      • cleos_mom

        I’m not sure she could have asked him; he seems to be invisible. And silent.

  • guppy06

    Between the pic above and the wordsmithing associated it, I just now realize how much I’m reminded of my sister’s friend whom I’m having a bit of a near miss with.

    If you’ll excuse me, I think i need to start blocking some phone numbers.

  • MrBlobfish

    Fuck that guy.

  • MrBlobfish

    I liked her better in the role of Lovey Howell on Gilligan’s Island

  • Tansy Geek

    Shorter MoDo: This time Hilary will be the Clinton involved in fellatio.

  • 451 Byrnes

    Dear Kaili,
    YOU CALL THIS WRITING AND JOURNALISM AND MOMMYBLOGGING AND STUFFF????
    Just wondering, ’cause I think it’ a great read!

  • Toomush_Infer

    Just go lie down, Mo Do….the angels want to talk to you again…

    • Marion in Savannah

      Those aren’t angels. They’re the little canaries that abandoned Peggums for a new hostess.

  • Tansy Geek

    I’m still a little confused by Maureen’s point here. Is she saying that women are squishy sometimes and that’s nice, but squishy men aren’t nice? And when women aren’t squishy they’re not nice but men are always dicks (except for when they’re squishy dicks) and they’re not nice either? Whut?

    • Marion in Savannah

      Ah, I see where your problem is. You’re looking for MoDo’s “point.” She doesn’t have one, other that “Hillary BAD. Obama WEAK, and a PUSSY.”

      She actually used to be able to write, but she lost her mind a decade or two ago. (I also think, speaking as a woman who just turned 70, that she’s just FURIOUS that she’s not as young, springy, and pretty as she used to be. Just look at her pictures…)

      • HeywoodJa

        You forgot one big point–“Why didn’t Bill Clinton wanna pork MEEEEE?” That’s her biggest reason for hating on Hill–that she got a piece of the guy who refused to give MoDo the time of day!!!

  • YayConspiracy

    MoDo wants her mummy and her blanky. Times are scary!

  • The Hillary I saw last night is running as a neocon warmonger. KJG seems to like it:

    https://twitter.com/KailiJoy/status/688931547341172736
    ~

    • Beulah

      I know I should ignore this but… can you tell me exactly when you woke up from this fever dream you had in which Hillary played a neocon warmonger during the debate?

      On a more serious note, you do realize that this kind of ridiculous hyperbole will not sway a single “opponent” right? As a Sanders supporter, I’d ask you to moderate your rhetoric just like your favorite candidate does.

      • FlownOver

        Whoa! Who said “Get serious”?

    • DemmeFatale

      Say it ain’t so, thunder!
      Tough = neocon warmonger?

      • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

        Eh, Thunder, I can’t go with you on this one, ol, buddy ol pal. For one thing, our KJG, I think, was making an observation about HRC’s personal quailties, not policy.

        Also, “necon” obscures something important (and maybe this is where you were going . . . ?): The Democrats are just as committed to using violence to support the tattered remains of American imperialism as the Republicans. They’re just smarter about it–or maybe I mean less obviously rabid–in that they use death and destruction intelligently, more discriminately. E.g., Obama doesn’t invade any countries, but he does sure step up the drone-based violence.

      • Zhu Bajie

        All US presidents since Truman have been warmongers. Usually in 3d world countries, usually with all atrocities of the Indian Wars. They gotta keep the Military-Industrial Complex going, gotta feed the national vanity, and, anyway, life is always cheap in Viet Nam or El Salvador or Iraq or wherever, isn’t it?

  • Truly Madly Derply

    Whose small sliver do you think Hillz was talkin’ ’bout?

  • Joshua Norton

    It’s long past the time to rename her MoDerp!

    • Robyn Ryan

      MoDo…

  • Truly Madly Derply

    Dowdspeak for “Barack is a pussy and Hillary is a bitch.”

    • Robyn Ryan

      we got that.. high school.

  • OtterQueen

    ‘And she should have run as a man this time, when Americans feel beleaguered and scared and yearn for something “big and masculine and strong,” as Dowd put it.’

    Are you kidding? I’d go up against any of the men running, but no way I’d take on HRC. I pity the GOP nominee if he ends up squaring off with Hillary in the subsequent debates. She’ll filet him and serve him up on a platter. With a sprig of parsley.

    • Sheesko

      AND she would pick out the china to serve it on.

    • Robyn Ryan

      She knows how the system works and where the bodies are buried. Think LBJ. With a long memory.

  • AlanInSF

    Dowd’s got a damn good point — Imagine how catastrophic it could be if both the President and the Vice President were men.

    • Beaumarchais?

      They might do some stupid guy thing like invade a country that hadn’t attacked us.

    • beatbort

      Or cats.

      • Marion in Savannah

        HEY — I’ve got a herd of cats and they all get along well with each other. Of course, they’re all much too smart to be Republicans…

        • thenearesthippie

          Greetings, fellow cat-herder. A couple of my feline overlords are jerks, but for the most part they all coexist peacefully. Although a while ago, one of the males kept trying to hump his sister (they’re both fixed), so maybe a republican . . . ?

          • Redstart

            Mine does that. I blame it on his being a cryptorchid.

  • bluicebank

    Maureen Dowd is sort of like Metallica before they sold out. Not very tolerable then, but in contrast to today, fucking great.

  • “You would think”- Maureen Dowd disproves that statement.

  • Michael Loraine

    Dogs and cats? What the f is she talking about? Hillary, Bernie and Martin are all human politicians, and their campaign strategies, and potential governing philosophies and methodologies are geared to appeal to human voters.

    Besides, if we’re going to advance animal analogies for political behavior, it would seem that cattle and swine are better analogs than canines and felines.

    • fredfnord

      I love her idea that somehow Obama — the guy who spent so much time trying to make bargains with an obviously hostile Republican party and insulting his own base that the only thing that saved us from some really horrible legislation was the fact that the Republicans were constitutionally incapable of saying ‘yes’ to literally anything — is a cat, unwilling to compromise, and Hillary, oh goodness how coincidental that she’s a dog, that animal that is invoked whenever some asshole wants to insult a woman he doesn’t want to stick his dick in…

    • Sheesko

      MD is a izzard.

    • Zippy

      a generation of swine…

  • Robyn Ryan

    In the land of MoDo, where the shadows lie….

    She reads like a High schooler’s diary.

  • DemmeFatale

    STFU, Modo!

    STFU!
    (Well, at least she has disgusted and united dog and cat lovers.)

  • Skadi

    I admit that I still have a large collection of scrunchies, in many colors.

    Perhaps I should see if the Times wants a new columnist…

    • Truthiness2U

      Scrunchies are dead useful. MoDo? not so much.

  • HolidayinCambodia

    MoDo is still burned up that Bill wouldn’t try to fuck her.

    That’s the explanation I’ve had for decades, and it’s the one I intend to stick with.

  • Jen_Baker_VA

    Hey, NYTimes?
    Just because it has tits does not mean it is a Libtard. k.

  • Badger33

    I stopped reading her columns a long time ago. They are like free association.

    • Vegetablebrothel

      And yet the Times pushed out many long term actual journalists. I’m convinced that Pinch would have kept Judith Miller as well had there not have been such an uproar about her receiving poetry and generally playing toesies with sources who hoodwinked her, The NYT, and the entire nation. There are sacred cows at the Times and ALWAYS the wrong ones to worship.

  • Vegan and Tiara

    I don’t think the NYTimes should be MoDo’s forever home. Can we rehome her back to the ASPCA, or at least to the Republicans?

    • Zippy

      send her to that farm upstate where she can run and play?

      • Vegan and Tiara

        Sure, if that helps you sleep at night. Maybe we can send Carly Fiorina along to play on the farm too.

    • cleos_mom

      Or maybe PETA.

  • r_dale

    MoDowd’s problem with the Clintons is that she wasn’t the one wearing the jizzed-on blue dress, if you know what I mean and I think you do.

    • cleos_mom

      But ya have to wonder how many Linda Tripps she would have babbled to.

  • beatbort

    She’s moving into Peggy Noonan territory now.

  • Zhu Bajie

    Again? Or still?

  • Zippy

    Congrats, MoDoDo, you’ve managed to be both animals at once, you catty bitch

  • Relativicus

    Oh ferfucksakes. Bill, call her back already!

    • HeywoodJa

      MODO thinks she’s better looking than some of Bill’s questionable paramours, and she is INFURIATED that he won’t give her any swerve. She asked, and he refused–that’s why she writes bitter, nasty screeds about his wife…she’s trying to “make him pay” by lashing out, frantically, obsessively, angrily, at his wife! She doesn’t see what everyone else sees–that she’s a jealous, scorned, bitter, hate-filled, obsessed asshole! Enough people have told her this in the past, but the force is strong with that one-she will not be satisfied until she lands some Clinton peen…and then writes about it, triumphantly. Ain’t gonna happen, MoDo–Bill has STANDARDS and you don’t meet ’em!!! LOL!!!

      • Relativicus

        That’s nothing, ever since Obama reflexively laughed during one of her advances towards him, she wrote him off as a ladyboy homo prissy pants.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Damn. MooDoo got into the gin at Noonan’s place.

    • OneDemin EOr

      And then scissoring. It would be responsible to speculate

  • E S

    Aloof? The man has manners, and a private, personal life.

    A female VP for Hill? What a delightful, timely, idea.

    I am ill of self centered, delusional, 100% disrespectful pundits whose perspective suggests a wise and keen understanding of the reality that Obama or Hillary have faced daily as Secretary of State or President. Makes me ill on Fox, ill in the Times. Hey, numbskulls, the thing these people do is called public service, show some respect. Did nobody go to elementary school where they teach these things?

    Anyone with an ounce of humility? Olly olly In free! Anybody there?

  • Mehmeisterjr

    I can’t figure out MoDo at all. What is this about, really? I can’t think of any rational explanation and I can’t even think of an irrational explanation.

    Milady Noodlegin, I understand. I don’t like it but “She’s a gin-soaked, malicious old bag” is comprehensible.

    MoDo, nope. Don’t get it.

    • “I can’t figure out MoDo at all. What is this about, really?”

      I think it’s about ethics in gaming journalism.

      Or maybe the sexist stereotyping confused me.

    • Axomamma

      I think Dowd is a closet lesbian who is bitter because she can never have Hillary. She sure seems to hate men. http://nymag.com/nymetro/news/people/features/14946/

    • Mawm

      It was just a big setup to be able to call Hillary a dog.

    • cleos_mom

      That pretty much sum it up. Although I doubt a gin-soaked, malicious young hag would be an improvement.

  • dicksuckingmoslemprez

    The military should refuse all orders if she is installed in The White House

    All but the illegals, queers, trannies, and female special forces, of course.

    • Biff52

      And this has exactly fuck-all to do with the topic at hand. I award you no points.

    • OneDemin EOr

      Gee, could your hostile attitude have anything to do with your subtle user name??

      • HeywoodJa

        His user name is his OWN resume!! He’s president of his own fan club!!!!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I do hope that recruiters for all four services have been notified of your existence, so that you’re not recruited and a lot of tedious paperwork to toss you out will be avoided.

    • HazooToo

      Say more things. We crave more of your batcrap crazy insights.

    • Froggage

      Have a seat, Flowers for Algernon.

    • janecita

      Didn’t you get the secret memo? Every single member of the armed forces has been replaced by “illegal, queer, trannies, females”. Our new military is totally fabulous!!!!

    • Brendan_M

      I would totally vote for a Muslim who is a generous lover for President. Thanks for your advocacy on their behalf, dicksuckingmoslem4prez!

      • HeywoodJa

        Is that how you read that name? I thought this fellow was running an insurgency presidential campaign on his own behalf, and that was his OWN resume in a user name!!!

  • Biff52

    MoDon’t

  • psychobroad

    Has MoDo seen any pictures of President Obama interacting with babies, or kids, or humans in general? Cold and aloof he is not, it’s one of the reasons I love him so! MoDo is a fool.

    • OneDemin EOr

      MoDo = Dodo.
      May it soon be extinct. With votes!

    • Kavefish

      Yes, agreed. He seems the most human of all the presidents I’ve seen when children are around.

    • Mawm

      She confuses thoughtfulness with aloofness. It’s from all those hours covering Bush Co.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    If Hilz picks a woman as a running mate, the Republicans will dismiss her because, well, woman. If Hilz picks a man as a running mate, the Republicans will dismiss him because, well, whipped.

  • OneDemin EOr

    Too masculine in 2008, too feminine in 2016.
    There is just no pleasing some people (said in the dripping sarcastic tone only teenage girls can muster)!

    • cleos_mom

      And if you can’t please the Some People in your life, say a mom or a husband, you might as well just say fuckit and do what you want; the results will be the same. At least one area where teenage girls are right on target.

  • I’m confused. Is Dowd trying to say that Hillary is strong enough for a man, but ph balanced for a woman?

    • Mawm

      Shh, it’s a secret.

  • And she should have run as a man this time, when Americans feel beleaguered and scared and yearn for something “big and masculine and strong,” as Dowd put it.

    How did this woman get paid to write free-association fanfic?

  • Capt.Jim

    Are you sure its weed??? I hear if you smoke the crack you get paranoid and everything smell like cat piss the morning after

    • Brendan_M

      Yes, you “heard” that, just like I’m asking for you to share “for a friend.”

  • UnsaltedSinner

    As the psychiatrist in “Fawlty Towers” says: “There’s enough material there for an entire conference.”

  • WampusKat

    I thought the MoDo bird went extinct. Somebody snatch her up and see if we can’t preserve the last one in a natural history museum somewhere.

  • longtail

    It’s interesting that “America is looking for something big and masculine and strong”. Sound’s more like the Republican love affair with Vlad Putin.

    • OctopiRage

      Muricuns love ’em big, strong and stupid…

  • Kristenmlockett3

    1❝my neighbor’s mate is getting 98$. HOURLY on the internet❞….

    A few days ago new McLaren F1 subsequent after earning 18,512$,,,this was my previous month’s paycheck ,and-a little over, 17k$ Last month ..3-5 h/r of work a day ..with extra open doors & weekly. paychecks.. it’s realy the easiest work I have ever Do.. I Joined This 7 months ago and now making over 87$, p/h.Learn More right Here
    3ymt….
    ➤➤
    ➤➤➤ http://GlobalSuperEmploymentVacanciesReportsVector/GetPaid/98$hourly❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.

  • Everhope

    Mrs. Clinton running now is a huge boon to Dowdy. All she has to do is go back through her computer files, pull up the rancid columns she wrote while the Clinton’s were in the White house, dust them off, change a phrase or word here and there, maybe delete a few lines and PRESTO CHANGEO Dowdy has new columns. This way she gets to keep her job without really ever having to–and there’s damn little evidence that she ever has–think.

    I read the NYT for 40 yrs and it was the op-ed page that finally did me in. With the exception of Krugman, who you can read elsewhere, the page sank behind the tight trousers of Mo Dowdy and her obsessional stalking of Clinton. As with most unrepentant stalkers, she’s back on the trail. I wouldn’t wrap a dead fish in the stained Dowdy sludge of the NYT op-ed pages.

  • janecita

    Bill, take one for the team, and tap Maureen’s incoherent ass, already! I’m not a Hillary fan, but it irks the hell out of me to see her getting bashed left and right just because she dared to be ambitious and successful.

    • thenextday

      Seriously. I’ve long wondered if MoDo made a pass at Bill one time and he rejected her.

    • HeywoodJa

      Really-the only reason why “MODO” hates Hillary is because she tried to bang Hill’s HUSBAND and he turned her skankass down! It’s freakish the way that hyper-harridan takes her failure to score on Bill out on Bill’s WIFE. Poor MODO, she can’t help it–she thinks she’ll remain perpetually “ready for her closeup” when in actual fact she is thirty years past her sell-by date and is not the coquette she used to be. Give it up Maureen–EMBRACE AGING. Everyone does it, the only people who look stupid are the ones who fight it. And MoDo–you are looking tote-stupe these days!!

  • OctopiRage

    So someone in W’s circle finally admits the Iraq war was absolute bullshit, well except for all the deads and cash for Halliburton?

  • Ruhe

    Cats and Dogs? You start out with what you think is a clever analogy and then you end up arguing about the analog rather than the real life situation you started with. That’s not political journalism, that’s sports talk radio.

    • Mawm

      She just wanted to call Clinton a dog.

  • Brendan_M

    Maybe Nina Turner, to reach out to Bernie supporters. I would love to see Kamala Harris on a national ticket, but she might be better in 2024. Amy Klobuchar would be great. I think Dowd’s suggestion for an all-female ticket is great, let’s brainstorm!

  • zanzibar_buckbuck_mcfate

    What a sexist load of horseshit.

  • HeywoodJa

    Maureen Dowd is STILL an asshole! Quel suprise!!!!

    • Jeanne Clarke

      Quelle surprise!

  • Mr Sincere

    I am so tired of Maureen Dowd riding her Clinton hobby horse.

  • Karen Husted

    It’s Matthew Dowd.

  • DahBoner
  • jfp

    Not at all, executive Wonkett, Dowd rocks it weekly. Funny, literate, insightful, capable of writing a powerful sentence, but not at all a “toe the line” kind of person. Some people need more orthodoxy, more support for “the movement” and it’s leaders…. Others don’t.

  • Sam the Sham

    Maureen Dowd is a ……… Whatever. She makes a pile of money to pile on Hillary Clinton. I hope she chokes on her hatred.

Previous articleObama Declares A State Of Disgusting In Flint’s Poisoned Water
Next articleDonald Trump Terrific At Saying Classiest Bible Verses Almost Perfectly