now you're talking
now you’re talking

Sometimes we do Nice Time here at yr Wonkette when bad people get their just desserts and when good people finally prevail. Other times, we just can’t get to Nice Time because the underlying bits are so awful that the resolution doesn’t really make us feel any better.

A few months ago, we told you all about the horror of Gilmor Homes, a public housing project in Baltimore. Seems that in order to get repairs done on your no doubt already-horrible project apartment, you were forced to trade sexual favors with the creepy maintenance workers. The allegations in the lawsuit were the kind where you end up reading them through your fingers like you’re watching a horror movie. They weren’t just cringeworthy. They were more like whole-body-shudder-worthy.

Another woman, a 33-year-old single mother, said she succumbed to Coleman’s pressure and performed oral sex and later intercourse. She said in an affidavit that Coleman exposed himself to her in his office. She said she gave in to his demands because she was “shocked, young, scared, fleeing an abusive relationship and worried about the health and safety of my daughter.”

A third woman, who did not reveal her age, said Coleman made unwelcome physical contact with her. Rejecting his advances, she wrote in an affidavit, has resulted in “allowing dangerous conditions to fester in my home unabated,” including peeling paint, a rat infestation and no heat in two of her rooms.

Jesus Christ.

On Friday, the lawyers for the 19 (Jesus Fucking Christ 19!) women announced a settlement in the case.

Besides a financial award between $6 million and $7.5 million, the settlement required Baltimore to fire and ban all the abusers from Housing Authority property, move the plaintiffs into livable homes. The Housing Authority also created 50 new maintenance positions with new policies and procedures, and cut down their backlog of repairs from over 4,000 to 1,500.

Now see, those are all good things to have happen. Baltimore needs more public housing maintenance workers, damn straight the plaintiffs should end up in better homes, and we’re pretty pleased that they got money, but having to go through what they went through to get there is just awful.

Now, it is not yr Wonkette’s place to speculate on the strength of this case, but yr Wonkette will note that municipalities typically do not move fast enough to settle things in just a few months unless the underlying case is pretty much a slam dunk for the other side. Turns out there were numerous complaints, and the Baltimore Housing Authority’s inspector general knew of the complaints as early as December 2013.

In conclusion, everything is still terrible, these women shouldn’t have had to go through this, and Baltimore’s housing authority is probably either a cesspool or run by morons or both. We raise a half-filled glass to cheer to the fact that there was a settlement in this case, but we would have been far happier and raised a full glass if it actually included the opportunity for each and every one of the plaintiffs and some assorted guests to rochambeau these fuckers South Park style.

[Baltimore Sun / Think Progress]

Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Msgr_Moment

    Stay classy, Charm City.

  • Indiepalin

    At least there’s nothing here about Jell-O Puddin’ Pops.

  • MsAnthropesMr

    Yeah – with how nice and comfy it is in public housing, it’s no wonder that those moochers just suck off the government teat and live there.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      Yeah, if shit like this didn’t happen where’s the incentive to put down that lobster, get off that hammock, get a proper job and live the American dream like Paul Fucking Ryan?

    • Damian L

      Hey,they get a buck and a half a day to live on.Greatest Country In The Worrllldd!

  • Oblios_Cap

    Baltimore seems like such a nice town, what with the police slamming folks around in vans and sex for home repair. Plus they do have the Orioles.

    • MsAnthropesMr

      And Bergers cookies.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Well, the mayor is the President of the US Council of Mayors, so hopefully we will all soon benefit from their know-how.

      • BigBoppa

        We will gladly send you Rahm Emmanuel as a permanent how-to-do-mayoring consultant. But no givsies backsies!

        • Latverian Diplomat

          He has a whole hour session on “Burying incriminating police videos”. Tickets on sale now.

    • ManchuCandidate

      Fuck the Orioles.

      • Oblios_Cap

        One day they’ll win the Division again. Maybe.

    • marxalot

      And the Bromo-Seltzer Tower!

  • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

    Just curious, fellow gentlemen: Is there any situation we won’t turn into an opportunity for degradation, abuse, and splooge?

    • Pickwicknext

      In my experience, not much. Sorry to disappoint you about your gender.

      • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

        I don’t think I *can* be disappointed.

    • Depends upon the man, I suppose. But there are enough sleezeballs out there that (were it possible to choose your sexual orientation) I wouldn’t blame them for all going lesbian.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        FWIW, all the women I hit on seem to be lesbians. :-)

      • Sgt. Gym Bunny

        There have been times when I have concluded that my attraction to penes, and/or the persons to whom they are attached, is entirely unjustified and regrettable. (But my latest attraction is totes worth it, Yay!)

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Me, personally, no.

      Other men I can’t speak for. Because they’re into being assholes on a 24/7 basis.

    • The Wanderer

      I like to think I was raised right.

    • mtn_philosoph

      Do I feel somehow responsible or guilty as a *man* when I read about stuff like this? Oh, hell no. Why would I and why should I? Do I feel angry as a *human being* when I see this? Yes, of course I do. Because not monster.

  • Motherfuckers should be in jail and other motherfuckers should be looking for a new job.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …I once tried the “sex for home repairs” scam with my wife; needless to say, it didn’t end well

    • Pickwicknext

      Did you get the dog house built so you would have somewhere to sleep?

      • AngryBlakGuy

        …luckily we have a very comfy sofa!

    • deanbooth

      It works on me when my wife uses it.

      • AngryBlakGuy

        …lol, kinda funny cuz it works on me too! Just not when I try to implement it!!!

  • Lefty Frizzell

    I’m sure the solution to all this is tax cuts for the wealthy.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Isn’t it always? The universal balm for what ails society!

    • HobbesEvilTwin

      don’t forget carpet bombing Iran. That is always a solution, also, too.

      • Michael Smith

        Or bombing carpets in Iran..

        Hehehe.. we’ll fix them and their precious Persian rugs.

    • essbird

      And more prayer in schools.

    • Gil

      I have to ask myself…..What Would Judge Roy Moore do ?

  • Naytch

    I am glad these poor women have had their victory. But I hope this settlement doesn’t preclude criminal charges against these scumbags.

  • elviouslyqueer

    She said she gave in to his demands because she was “shocked, young,
    scared, fleeing an abusive relationship and worried about the health and
    safety of my daughter.”

    I don’t know whether to be incredibly saddened by this, or murderously rage-y.

    Nope, never mind. Rage-y it is.

    • Pickwicknext

      If you want sad, the Bowie thing is doing that for me right now

      • lroom

        After these two stories I really need some pics of Wonk Baby or kitties.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    I suspect the housing authority was where corrupt pols sent their ne’re do well relatives and cronies to do “jobs” at the expense of the taxpayer.

  • VandeGraf

    The world is indeed a zero sum game; and one usually wants duck sauce with zero sum game. Hopingly these maintenance crewsters live alone, elsewise they just go back to the same old victim.

  • FauxAntocles

    A kick in the nuts is not always effective – best to use obgyn stirrups and an aluminum baseball bat of votes.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    That 2008 program to retrain laid off Wall Street Traders as building superintendants now seems like a mistake…

    • Damian L

      Laid off??? I thought they all got bonuses and promotions!

      • Latverian Diplomat

        The New York Times Style Section assures me that they actually had it pretty rough. Plans to turn the condo next door into a personal gym and walk-in wine fridge had to be put on hold in those dark days.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Hoop?” C’mon comics. In the Silver Age, a kick to the nuts rated at least a Biff! Crunch!! or Zowie!

    • Vecciojohn

      No, it’s “Hooop.” They did forget the exclamation point, though. “Hooop!” “A-huuuurl,” also works for you basic nut kick reaction.

      • Playonwords

        It’s like bricking a camel

    • Comixchick

      Hey, it’s “Planetary!” With its timeliness issues, I’m just glad to see it at all…

  • DahBoner

    Maybe the tenants could challenge this guy to a game of Ass Backwards Foosball?

  • “Just deserts” not “just desserts.” From the Surrender Monkey tongue.

  • beatbort

    But these rapists did not go to prison? They just lost their fucking jobs?
    They’re somebody else’s problems now, I guess.

    • artem1s

      does removing them mean they can’t be charged? this is a civil settlement, right?

  • Boog Powell would have handled this differently.

    • Vecciojohn

      Is Brooks Robinson still alive?

      • I believe so. I wore his number 5 as a little league third baseman way back when growing up in Cali.

      • beatbort

        Yes, barely. He and Ripken and Murray and Boog are part of the holy pantheon in Baltimore. Earl Weaver and Jim Palmer, too.

    • chicken thief

      The long ago commercial from some eye glass vendor (iirc) with the punch line “It’s Boog Powell!” was a classic.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Probably should have made the Housing Authorities Leaders spend a few years living in said buildings, but that was more than likely considered cruel and unusual punishment.

    • marxalot

      Curse that pesky Eighth Amendment… rackum frackum…

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      Wasn’t that a Joe Pesci movie?

  • Cismontane

    How about jail? Tell me these corrupt morons are, in fact, going to be dropped into a dark hole somewhere (not that I want to imagine the conditions in what passes for a penal system in Martin O’Malleyland).

  • Ducksworthy

    How will this affect Martin O’Malley’s chances?

    • Msgr_Moment

      Of getting laid or of getting the apartment spruced up?

    • chicken thief

      His chances are still right up there with Jim Gilmore’s!

  • AntiDerpomeme

    “Hmm, 19 women complainants? Not sure that’s enough to support the claim of a pattern of systematic abuse.”

    – Bill Cosby, probably

    • BigBoppa

      “Hmm, only 19 women complainants? Amateurs.

      – Bill Cosby, most likely

      • Mehmeisterjr

        This ruins his chance of getting a work-release job as a maintenance man.

  • Axomamma

    The inspector general should also be fired and charged criminally as an accessory for letting this continue for almost two years after being notified.

  • The Wanderer

    The defendants could be peeled like pears and Bog Himself would call it just.
    (with votes)

  • calliecallie

    With votes. That’s all I can say.

  • proudgrampa

    Why did this happen in the first place???

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      Because: Poorz have the shittiest lobby ever and are always subject to the whim of those placed in lordship and dominion over them.
      Because: Petty Buerocrats hire undesirable unhirable relations and friends as favors, in exchange for other favors.
      Because: We live in a sick fucking world and the good fight is never ending.

      • proudgrampa

        Jen, you are truly perceptive: let us keep on with the “good fight.”
        A thousand virtual upvotes for you, my friend.

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          I will if you will, Grampa ^.^

      • lroom

        As one of the poorz I thank everyone for their service.

  • Metadude

    A right tolchocking in the yarbles, me droogs!

    • BigBoppa

      Needs bigger codpiece.

  • Relativicus

    “Was that wrong?”

  • Me not sure

    Oh great! “Getting the plumbing fixed” has now become a sexual euphemism.

  • chicken thief

    If the settlement doesn’t turn out to be enough they can always publish a list of stuff they need online.

  • Jen_Baker_VA

    I ain’t even got any snark on this one. Those poor women. And you know if 19 complained there are probably up to 100 who kept silent.

  • Michael Smith

    how does this fit in with the “makers and takers” narrative?

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      I am very sure the right wing reply to this mess would be
      A: Those women should not have gotten pregger out of wedlocked and been such sluts and been so poor to begin with
      B: We should close down all public housing because look what happens there to those poor womenz!
      Probably at the same time, and with the same breath.

      • Ricky Gay

        the invisible peen of the marketplace, amirite?

      • “See this just proves that when we purposely try to break it governent doesn’t work.”

  • chicken thief

    We should have seen this coming when Big Ghey crammed marriage equality down our throats rooning America as we knew it.

  • JohnR

    Not much of a settlement considering everything and the Attys. most likely get 1/3.

  • beatbort

    Maybe Ben Carson can get them all jobs at Baltimore’s Popeye’s Organization, where he broke up that armed robbery.

  • artem1s

    good on them. got their cash AND the offenders removed. best settlement outcome possible.

    • Peripatetic Poltroon

      Not even. There should be rape and extortion charges for the workers & felony charges for the managers who knew about it.

      • True. But consider that in recent times, we’ve had goverment workers who got away completely scot free with their crimes, i glad that these people didn’t completely get away thier abuse.

  • Whale Chowder

    Eh, this is just the free market at work. Who wouldn’t try to negotiate for a better deal, amirite? Why do you hate capitalism?

  • Tosca

    Still waiting to hear about criminal prosecution for the rapists. Not to mention those in authorities who were informed their employees were committing rape as a perk of their jobs, and did nothing about it for TWO YEARS.

  • LarkintheAM

    A third woman, who did not reveal her age, said Coleman made unwelcome physical contact with her. Rejecting his advances, she wrote in an affidavit, has resulted in “allowing dangerous conditions to fester in my home unabated,” including peeling paint, a rat infestation and no heat in two of her rooms.

    All together now: “He seems nice.”

  • Peripatetic Poltroon

    I’m guessing nobody over the pay grade of maintenance thrall gets canned. The managers who knew about this will get no punishment, much less the prison time they deserve.

  • Dr. Krieger IRL

    I’d like to pay into some kind of lottery system that gave a winner-in-question the chance to hit these guys in the balls.
    You know, with votes. And a splitting maul.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Geeze, people astonish me sometimes. If some creepy maintenance guy had suggested a sex-for-repairs trade to me, I’d have said “Fuck you asshole” and hired a lawyer and gone to the media with the story immediately. We need to do a better job of training people to not put up with this kind of bullshit. For years I’ve thought our high schools should have a class in “Real Life” that covers this kind of thing, but it never happens.

    Now someone is going to say that I’m blaming the victims, but I’m not – I’m blaming the system that creates the victims. Knowledge is power, and people are not given the knowledge they need, or proper role modeling, especially women.

Previous articleBundy Militia Boys Need Miracle Whip, Tampons, And Those Cakes We Like
Next articleMore Stories Of Terrible Restaurant Customers, Part 1