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Not nearly as stupid as everything he says
Go home, foreigner

Now that the “precarious” issue of Ted Cruz’s citizenship is fair game — and shut up, yes it is — now is also the time for all good men, plus Ann Coulter, to come to the aid of their country and make sure that unlegal foreign from the United States of Poutine Tacos does not get to be president.

Ann Coulter tweets

We’re sure that Ann Coulter (who still desperately needs a hug, if someone could get on that please!) was equally concerned about John McCain in 2008, since he was also “born outside the U.S [sic],” but frankly, we don’t give nearly enough fucks to bother Asking Jeeves about it. We’ll simply assume she wasn’t because John McCain is white — like, for reals legit super white. So there’d never be any reason to be just askin’ questions about where he is really from and whether he is really eligible to be president and who the hell does he think he is anyway, huh?

(If we are wrong, and Ann Coulter was birthering John McCain in the olden days, our bad for not giving her the benefit of the doubt, except fuck her right in her scum-faucet, she NEVER gets the benefit of the doubt because she is Ann Coulter.)

Also, Cruz is fair game because he is polling very well against Donald J. Trump, and Coulter loves Trump and his racism so goddamned much, she wants to have his abortions. Seriously:Screen Shot 2016-01-06 at 3.33.05 PM

Do we think this latest round of questioning Cruz’s eligibility is hilarious or SO GODDAMNED HILARIOUS WE CAN HARDLY BREATHE? Yes. As does the White House:

White House press secretary Josh Earnest said “it would be quite ironic” if, after years of questions surrounding Obama’s U.S. citizenship, Republican primary voters were to choose the Canadian-born Cruz as their nominee.

Earnest noted Cruz is “somebody who actually wasn’t born in the United States and only 18 months ago renounced his Canadian citizenship.”

Asked whether Obama is enjoying watching Cruz deal with questions about his birthplace, Earnest replied, “I don’t know if he does, but I sure do.”

We sure do too! Which is why we strongly encourage Republicans to take heed of Donald Trump’s completely sincere warning that a Cruz nomination would be such a sadfaced shame for Cruz, firstly, but also for the party, since President Trump would probably have to deport him back to Mexico after the November election. If not sooner.

[TPM / The Hill]

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  • IceTrey

    US v Wong Kim Ark

    “A person born out of the jurisdiction of the United States can only become a citizen by being NATURALIZED, either by treaty, as in the case of the annexation of foreign territory, or by authority of Congress, exercised either by declaring certain classes of persons to be citizens, as in the enactments conferring citizenship upon FOREIGN-BORN CHILDREN OF CITIZENS,…” (emphasis mine)

    Naturalized is not natural born.

  • DahBoner

    Definition of “Natural Born American“:

    A Republican born in Panama, Canada or Austria.
    https://media1.giphy.com/media/8rk1lLt58hmPS/200w_d.gif

    • Vecciojohn

      She is a bear of very little brain.

  • Joe Beese

    TED CRUZ CAN RUN FOR PRESIDENT! I worried on @seanhannity @ his Calgary birth, But his mother was a US citizen, so he was born a citizen.

    — Ann Coulter (@AnnCoulter) February 14, 2013

    https://twitter.com/AnnCoulter/status/302130365487804417

    Settled!

    • sw19womble

      Yep, that settles it. Coulter is definitely a hypocrite.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Well, somebody got a phone call from someone important. Maybe that’s what this was all about. Attention.

    • TheBidenator

      I wonder if that sign above the main camera on Hannity’s set reminding him to breathe in and out is ever distracting to his guests….sorry, a musing.

    • JustPixelz

      The Constitution says “natural born”. Congress can’t override or define that with legislation.

  • Occam’s 8 ball

    Cruz is as american as grandma’s herpes.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Two too many words. you could lose both the “as”.

      Aside from the wife, that’s insulting to both grandmas and herpes…

    • aliceblue

      But not as welcome.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Ted Cruz damn well better be legally American — otherwise I’ve spent years being ashamed of him for nothing.

    • WhyFelicia

      Even if he isn’t American, you can take comfort in the shame of knowing that he is allowed to live here and serve in Congress.

      • SayItWithWookies

        And Texans put him there, so there’s that.

        • SadDemInTex

          He was elected by 16% of the electorate. NO ONE voted. I can’t even remember who the Democratic candidate was…it was a horrible election for Texas Dems.

    • Anarchy Pony

      I’m pretty ashamed that he’s also a human.

    • Zippy

      Oh no, there’s still plenty to be ashamed of- like the fact that millions of our fellow Muricans actually take him seriously

      • janecita

        I met one of his followers today, I also met a Trump follower. My lunch hour was all sorts of fun!

        • Zippy

          please tell me you didn’t eat at Chipotle

          • sw19womble

            Papa Johns?

          • Zippy

            *oukes*

          • janecita

            I was buying a birthday card at Target. The cashier was a Trump lover and the woman behind me was a Cruz’ groupie. I kept my mouth shut until she mentioned “the communist in the White House”, then I went off on both of them.

          • Zippy

            Lol, a Target cashier who thinks Trump will help her, too funny

          • Anarchy Pony

            “Target cashiers are yooge losers and that self checkout masheen is really cool and classy”

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          • Anarchy Pony

            Nice.

          • TheBidenator

            Hah, awesome….like some cashier couldn’t use a socialist on her side.

        • Anarchy Pony

          I hope you entered them into the “to be reeducated” FEMA database.

        • Vecciojohn

          I saw a car with two (count em) Rubio bumper stickers a couple weeks ago. Almost followed the car to get a look at the flamer.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          Well if you ever see them together, now you have a fun conversation starter.

        • aliceblue

          Good if you are on a diet I guess. No way one could eat with all that shit right in front of you.

  • cousin itt

    We’re sure that Ann Coulter (who still desperately needs a hug, if someone could get on that please!)

    I for one, am not going to hit that, score with that, bang that, OR get on that. Not even with a garlic-infused rubber.

  • DerrickWildcat

    She tries too hard.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Hawaii still more American than Alberta. Sorry, Ted.

    • sw19womble

      Alberta is the Texas of the North, tho. And Hawaii is full of people with suspiciously dark skin.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Also Hawaii is where Obama takes his “exotic” family vacations.

        • sw19womble

          The Calgary Stampede?

      • Imagine if Texas just elected a legislature full of liberal Democrats and socialists, though…

        • sw19womble

          Canada pretty much just did that ;)

  • crunchyknee

    Poutine Tacos makes Babby Jeebus cry.

  • VandeGraf

    Ann is too also a “good man”! She of the fourteen inch wrists cannot be held separate from that estimable group of groper wannabes!

    • Zippy

      Pssst, don’t go for the low hanging fruit

    • Trans-baiting. GTFO.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    “We’re sure that Ann Coulter (who still desperately needs a hug)”

    Umm, sorry. All out of hugs.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Even the Hug-u-lator 3000 shorted itself out in the bathtub rather than accept that command.

      • kindness

        It took one for the team.

    • Zippy

      Just say no to hugs

    • Creepoman

      This guy has plenty to give

    • aliceblue

      Yeah, reading that my mind immediately turned to a line from Dr. Seuss”s Grinch song. “Given the choice between the two of you, I’d take the seasick crocodile.”

  • Zippy

    now is also the time for all good men, plus Ann Coulter…

    The umpires rule that that is just inside the line- fair ball!

    • Vecciojohn

      The ruling on the field stands.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    I hope this doesn’t offend anyone, but I found

    “Ted Cruz, hoist by his own retards.”

    to be irresistible. Again, sorry.

    • Antimassacree

      Applicable to Reince Priebus, also too.

    • eggsacklywright

      You are a horrible person. Do it some more.

  • Anarchy Pony

    This woman has some very strange priorities.

  • janecita

    I take offense with the “taco” reference, we don’t make tacos in Cuba! Furthermore, Canadians can also keep the Cuban half, we have enough crazy Cubans already.

    • zerosumgame0005

      well, yeah… miami

      • janecita

        Exactly! That’s why I keep the fuck away from Florida.

  • WhyFelicia

    What I am taking away from this is that Ann Coulter loves abortions and wants them performed in the White House by Donald Trump.

    • janecita

      On her, on top of a desk, in the oval office, while listening to Cat Scratch Fever.

    • cousin itt

      In Washington, D & C.

    • UmmmWhat?

      I always had trouble with those reading comprehension tests too

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      Someone’s been reading my slash fic!

    • She’s a Racist, not a Theocrat. Jesus is only good if it’s White Jesus who bombs browns for being muslamic rayguns.

      • Zippy

        Like the Doobie Brothers sang- Jesus is just all white with me…

      • WhyFelicia

        And yet, I’ve heard her wail and complain about terrible women and their abortions, and she was fucking that Arab Muslim dude for a while. I think she’s simple inconsistent, which, combined with stupid, is interesting.

        • Zippy

          mostly she’s an attention whore and troll

    • Latverian Diplomat

      She’s angling for Secretary of the newly created Deparment of Intolerance and Wall Construction.

  • (Pulls up a chair… pours a tumbler of whiskey… lights a pipe…)

    Alright then,Republicans… Proceed.

    • kindness

      Don’t bogart that pipe my friend.

      • aliceblue

        Just fight over that pipe boys – may the best man win! (sneaks out the door with the whiskey)

  • kindness

    Send Ted BACK! I don’t care if it’s Canada or Cuba.

    • janecita

      Can we send him to Guantanamo Bay? It is in Cuba!

    • Zippy

      I’ll settle for Texas, at least confine his shit to that miserable state- they deserve it for sending him to Washington in the first place

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    The way this is going I fully expect in November a bunch of angry old Republicans arrive the polls only to be told they didn’t bring proper I.D.

  • Thurman Munster IV

    All good men, including Ann Coulter.

  • Vecciojohn

    NOW can we deport all the maple syrup suckers back to Soviet Cannuckistan?

    • tihond

      I would also be OK with them bribing us with Tim Hortons.

      • zerosumgame0005

        no way, Burger King bought them so they can pretend they are a Canadian company to avoid taxes

        • sw19womble

          If Trump or Cruz becomes POTUS, I can see a lot of American companies pretending to be Canadian when dealing with the rest of the world.

          • Notreelyhelping

            Buy that maple leaf for your backpack while you still can.

      • Vienna Woods

        Why? Timmies sucks.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    “Poutine Tacos”

    …I think ‘ol Ted would prefer poutine on Arroz con Pollo y Frijoles negro con platano

    • janecita

      Yay! You get it:-) It could also be, ropa vieja, arroz con gris y tostones.
      Ps: And of course Yuca con Mojo

    • Jenny

      His Momma is white, and daddy desperately wants to be. Cruz knows little Spanish and didn’t have much Cuban influences. He has probably had more tex mex than platanos.

      • AngryBlakGuy

        …the funny thing is “Cuban Spanish” isn’t considered “proper Spanish” there are a lot of slang and the conjugation is off a lot of times. So I would actually love to hear him attempt to speak the limited amount of Spanish that he knows. Telemundo would mock him mercilessly!!!

  • tihond

    Ann Coulter? Is this an “i Love The 90s”-Wonkette Throwback post?

    • Zippy

      VH1’s Where are they now?

      • Anarchy Pony

        Treading water in the hate swamp.

  • Kerry Day

    Well I just don’t understand this “Natural Born” thing. What difference does it make that your mother had an epidural or a c-section?

    • Zippy

      Have you priced tickets for the C section? Last thing I want is some woman in front of me giving birth…

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Just stay away from the Caesarean Salad. Trust me on that one.

        • Zippy

          That’s not anchovies

          • aliceblue

            Oh no, has the placenta crowd taken over the salad bar as well the the chili? Wendy’s has never been the same since she had kids.

          • Zippy

            WHERE’S THE BEEF?

          • aliceblue

            Cook Out

    • SayItWithWookies

      Not much here — but if you’re in Scotland and see Burnam Wood moving towards Dunsinane Castle, get the hell out of there.

    • Vecciojohn

      Was Ted from his mother’s womb untimely ripped? Didn’t know that.

      • Kerry Day

        He must have been: look at the size of his head.

      • JustPixelz

        More like the birth scene in Alien.

  • A couple of years ago, I used to hang out on one of the birther debunker sites, and as Ted started getting mention as a potential candidate, there was a lot of speculation as to exactly what the idiots would do when faced with his … circumstances. I’m rather surprised that Trump took so long to go there,and I admit to considerable schadenfreude watching various conservatives twist themselves trying to avoid being hoisted on their own petard.

    • Zippy

      He went there the moment Cruz started to gain momentum in Iowa, which is exactly what I would expect from that scum Trump

    • tomamitai

      The same fucktards who were calling the French “surrender monkeys” while stuffing themselves with freedom fries a few years ago are now intoning “Je suis Charlie” without a drop of shame, so I don’t think they’ll feel the least bit bad about their hypocrisy regarding birtherism, assuming they even notice it.

      • nmmagyar

        Not that I think the phrase actually applies to the French (and it’s a rule that all members of the French Foreign Legion have to look like A-List gay porn actors), but I do love the phrase “surrender monkeys”

        • Pinkham’s Law

          Don’t forget the cheese-eating! It’s an Important part of the slur: Cheese-eating surrender monkeys!

      • Querolous

        Nous sommes tous des singes qui mangent du fromage et d’abandonner!

  • Lefty Frizzell

    It’s all rubbish, mildly entertaining rubbish (plus anecdotally interesting that Coulter hates browns more than abortions – I wouldn’t have predicted that), but the fact remains that in any scoring of the various circumstances of the birth, Obama’s claim to be American looks stronger than Cruz’s. So that’s nice.

    • zerosumgame0005

      I bet Trumpities “team of investigators” hate they have to move from paradise to the Great White North in winter :)

  • btwbfdimho

    BBHMatzeltovMigra

  • This is the thing people don’t understand – wingnuts come in differing warring tribes, among which are the Racists, the No-Tax Libertarians, and the Theocrats. Ted Cruz is a Theocrat but he’s trying to muscle in on Trumpy’s Racist action. Nuh-uh. Anne Coulter knows what side she’s on. If it’s Jesus or White Power, she picks White Power every day.

    • sw19womble

      People do forget that the right-wing is as much an umbrella organisation as the “liberal” lefties

      • Zippy

        Mary Poppins libul!!1!

      • tomamitai

        I believe the term is “big tent”, as used by a circus, hence the clown car of candidates.

        • sw19womble

          “Umbrella organisation” sounds more sinister tho ;)

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Blue eyed Nordic Jesus libelz!

    • Vecciojohn

      Then there are the Bewildered souls like the guy I knew who voted for Bush because he heard he was nicer to his children than John Kerry was to his.

  • Comrade Wingtardd 5467p

    Oh fuck yes this is awesome!

    • Anarchy Pony

      Begun, the reptile wars have.

    • BeliTsari

      I’d heard she used to bang “Bill” Maher… is this how they make babies? I just figured they’d metastasized like libertarians?

  • TheBidenator

    Poutine tacos are such a frightening concept I’m going to go and cower in the corner for a few hours, scrub myself with kerosene and hope that taking steel wool to myself makes me feel clean….

    • zerosumgame0005

      American Horror Story:Poutine Tacos

    • Amy!

      I read that part and thought “yum!”

      Well, except for the gravy (because it’s always beef gravy, and I can’t eat it without getting sick). But yeah, cheesy-fries in a taco shell? Mmmmmm. With taco sauce! If I could figure out a way to make a nice vegetarian gravy, I’d use that (and cheese curds, even though they squeak and make me laugh).

  • Spotts1701

    Can we stick to the fact that Cruz is nuttier than squirrel poo and has some real interesting “ideas” about how to govern? That’s usually enough crazy-pants to show he should only be allowed in the White House if he does the tour.

    • sw19womble

      Hang on, I don’t want people thinking that he got those ideas from living up here. :(

      • aliceblue

        Would serve you right for sending us Justin Bieber!

        • nmmagyar

          And Ann Fucking Murray

          • sw19womble

            Shut it, or we’ll send Nickelback out on tour again.

          • Notreelyhelping

            Thanks for Neil and Joni, though.

    • And, as I keep saying, has some 4chan people in his crowd who help him with the memes and pop-culture references. That may help him with the Gamergate/Manosphere crowd, who wouldn’t touch a traditional Theocrat with a ten-inch black dildo.

      • Vecciojohn

        The late Ed Wynn invented the 11 foot pole for people you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole. Maybe an 11 inch dildo?

      • Anarchy Pony

        You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villiany than 4chan.

      • Msgr_Moment

        I would touch them all about the face and head with said dildo. Votingly.

  • Fartknocker

    Thanks Ann Coulter for that excellent suggestion about allowing abortions in the White House. That truly would let the world know we support a free market economy. Unfortunately, as much as we at the Abortionplex love the idea, that fact is drones cannot fly around the White House. This would impede our ability to deliver the bestest, freshest babby parts using Amazon Direct, our supply chain partner.

    Thank you for your suggestion. I would love send you a coupon for a free placenta-Fanchette lasagna and a glass of our house wine.

    Fartknocker
    Franchisee for Abortionplex

  • TheBidenator

    Am I surprised that a racist cunt like Coulter loves a racist cunt like Trump? About as surprised as I am to find out the KKK and neo-Nazi’s love them some T-Rump as well.

    • A Bashful Nobody

      Remember, they eat their young too.

    • Zippy

      Ann Coulter is why I can’t bring myself to take Bill Maher seriously, even though he sometimes gets some things right

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        That they are big pals leads me to believe that Maher really is as loathsome as I’ve long suspected he is.

        • nmmagyar

          He has always made my skin crawl. Even before I know about he and Coultergeist’s affair

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            LIkewise. And I didn’t even know they had/are having a affair. I just knew that he would if he could. With anybody.

        • Zippy

          and that they’re both playing a role for the money- the fact that he was shtupping her just makes it that much more gross and disgusting

      • Tansy Geek

        Are they both just into hate fucking? Or are they really souless soulmates?

    • daysleeper

      Hey, that’s unfair to cunts. I have one, and I can tell you that even at its most unpleasant, at specific times of the year, it’s got nothing on Coulter and/or Trump.

      • TheBidenator

        I was going with the British version meaning a deeply unpleasant person- I defend the vagina with the ardor of a horny wingnut watching two chickens wrestle.

        • sw19womble

          Yeah, but on that side of the pond, it can be used as a term of endearment.

          e.g. “Come here, you silly cunt.”

        • bookish

          You, Sir, are a True Gentleman.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Ann Coulter’s greatest regret is she was born decades too late to be the Bitch of Buchenwald.

      • therblig

        damn, now i have ask ms. blig to put on her ilsa, she-wolf of the ss costume.

  • longtail

    Even the condemnation of Ann Coulter isn’t enough to make Ted Cruz a respectable candidate.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Two wrongs, etc.

  • Joe Beese
    • Lefty Frizzell

      Try saying “President Cruz” while looking at that pic – bet you can’t do it without any cringing, buttock-clenching embarrassment.

    • MrBlobfish

      Damn. That bus must smell like the monkey house by now. Have they changed the straw on the floor yet?

    • Ddinz

      The title is The War on Ted Cruz’s Faith. God, I’m sick of reading how these guys run all over the country complaining about their “faith” being threatened. Did they get cuffed on the way outta church? Did the FBI snatched his rosary beads?

    • Cleo_Cat

      That face! Looks like someone put the features together in the dark.

  • Callyson

    I don’t care if @realDonaldTrump wants to perform abortions in White House after this immigration policy paper

    Thanks for proving (again) that the forced birthers don’t actually give a flying fuck about “the babies!!!” Thanks for showing that they are much more interested in pursuing their agenda of hate…

    • Iam Reading

      Thank you for the use of correct terms. Forced birthers, cause they sure as fuck aren’t pro life

  • btwbfdimho

    BBHMásMarielitos

    • JoeChristmas

      Viva La Cruz!

    • Anarchy Pony

      Castro libel?

      • btwbfdimho

        Cruzada Fidelista contra los Infideles.

  • UnsaltedSinner
  • Matt Jones

    Somewhere on the Internet, erotic fan fiction involving Ann Coulter and Trump’s hairpiece is being written. #thingsthatmakeyougoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaugh

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Rule 34. It’s the law!

      • Thaumaturgist

        Look at Tab 31.

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          And she pressed it to her heaving bosom, yes, and it riled and skittered, slaveringly, across her naked skin, yes

    • TheBidenator

      Would you like it in a manga? Done!
      – Japan

      • sw19womble

        Hey, even doujinshi publishers have their boundaries.

  • SK

    Coultergeist doesn’t fancy herself some Cubano?

    Well, there’s always her old flame. D’inesh D’souza.

  • MrBlobfish

    I don’t know. I don’t know. People are saying. Terrible. That should be looked at.

    • mailman27

      Closely. Very,very closely.

  • Zippy

    OT more of the liberal media ‘both sides do it’ BS. Thanks CNN, because it’s obvious that the NPRK’s 5th nuclear test since 2006, after they reconstituted their nuke program when W bungled Bill Clinton’s progress in bringing them into the international community is proof of Hillary’s foreign policy fuck-ups… SMH

    http://www.cnn.com/2016/01/06/politics/north-korea-nuclear-test-clinton-trump/index.html?eref=rss_politics

    Of course, Hillz and Bamz are to blame for the 5th in a series of tests that have been going on for a decade- not the Neo Con idjits that labelled them the axis of evil and drove them from the bargaining table

    • Mr Corrections

      Has anyone confirmed the nuke test actually happened? Last I heard, the shockwave was way too powerful, and came from way too far underground, for that to be plausible.

      • Zippy

        they seem pretty sure it was an underground test and that it was just another one of their relatively weak conventional nukes, not a hydrogen bomb like claimed by lil Kim. But nothing is actually confirmed yet, except by the dishonest GOP pols already blaming Hillz and Bamz for it. Too bad their base has the attention span of a goldfish and likely doesn’t remember that these have been happening for a decade now

    • Spotts1701

      Meanwhile Trump wants to go after China for N. Korea’s actions, clearly thinking this is Uijeongbu and it’s still 1952.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Well, this tracks with him not knowing about the nuclear triad.

        • Zippy

          seriously, how the fuck does he not know what that is?

          • mailman27

            It has nothing to do with polls, and Kim does very, very poorly in the polls.

        • Tansy Geek

          It tracks with him knowing jack shit about anything at all. Someone will need to craft an attention grabbing opinion for him to spout.

      • Zippy

        Yeah, that’ll end well

        for no one…

      • RoyalUglyDude

        To be fair, most republicans think it’s still 1952.

        • sw19womble

          Except they wouldn’t like Ike – that fucking cuckservative RINO

  • ken schankler

    Now wait a minute there. What country, planet, alternate universe gave us Ann Coulter?

    • MrBlobfish

      She was sent to the surface by the Mole People.

      • sw19womble

        Even they couldn’t stand her?

        • therblig

          they call her “the melanoma”

          • sw19womble

            ISWYDT, AILI

    • Squirrel_t_robot

      Well, Coulter claims her ancestors were ‘settlers’; but she is only fourth generation.

      Apparently, she believes her ancestors settled the greater New York area in 1915.

      • Tansy Geek

        Are you sure she didn’t say setters? She does have the look of an overbred Irish setter.

      • WhyFelicia

        I have been researching our family through Ancestry (thinking of converting to Mormonism because I think I would get a free account then) and I was super bummed to find that I was not, in fact, the first one in my family to be born in the US. Apparently a whole lot of us landed in the early colonies and then fled to Canada (loyalists). I’m probably going to find that my mom’s Russian ancestors were originally from Sheboygan.

      • JustPixelz

        The deep, sad irony is that Messicans — i.e. native people — have lived in America for thousands of years.

      • therblig

        you mean when they looked for spouses they all said, “well, i guess this is the best i can do”?

    • Tansy Geek

      Vulturia on the planet Miserablis which is in the plane of Crap Pundits.

    • TheBidenator

      Well you see there was this mole rat that was illegally brought to the US from Serbia sometime in the 19th century. Now this was no ordinary mole rat because it contained a virulent form of bowel parasite and this parasite escaped through its bum and managed to sneak up the rectum of one of those Nativist “Know-Nothing” party members circa 1870. There it matriculated from a steady diet of beer, bratwurst and hate until one day it had grown large and strong and mean as a snake. This Know-Nothing out of sheer blind stupidity was run over by an ox cart which was a fatal conflagration proving the irresistible force does move an immovably stupid object.
      The parasite though horribly injured managed to survive the ordeal and pulling itself out of that dead man’s ass was able approached as it lay on the ground by another hateful ignoramus. The ignoramus, one John Coulter asked it, “what’s your name lovely?” and the parasite, coyly and shyly said “Gertrude”. This is where Ann Coulter’s line began….

      • Objectifer

        Worst. Bedtime. Story. Evar!

      • eggsacklywright

        Points for stamina.

    • Anarchy Pony

      The one where reptiles evolved to be intelligent and vaguely humanoid.

    • therblig

      you know the planet with the “To Serve Man” book? well, not that one – the one with the piggy faced people.

  • FDRliberal

    Asked whether Obama is enjoying watching Cruz deal with questions about his birthplace, Earnest replied, “I don’t know if he does, but I sure do.”

    Lol. I like this Josh Earnest guy. Watching a slimy charlatan and economic terrorist like Ted Cruz getting attacked by the Coulter Creature and other neo-birthers, fills my heart with warmth.

    • HSkol

      Cruz certainly does find himself knee deep in the hoopla with his own brand.

      • FDRliberal

        Sadly, Cruz isn’t giving it back to Trump. The patient and crafty Cruz is playing a waiting game, waiting for Trumpzilla to self-destruct, at which time Cruz, like a turkey buzzard, can swoop down and feed upon the rotting carcass.

        • HSkol

          Almost as if someone’s always playing corporation games. Wouldn’t you say?

          • FDRliberal

            Lol. A song that epitomized 80s corporate rock, talking sbout “corporation games”. Of course, compared to most of today’s horriyingly pop music, that vapid song is like Hey Jude.

          • HSkol

            Well, if I’m not irritating you, I’ll quit – for now.

    • Boscoe

      The really weird thing is that this is how conservatives must’ve felt back when Ari Fleischer had that job…

  • Comrade Wingtardd 5467p
  • MrBlobfish

    Put a hose head in the White Hoose, eh?

    • Zippy

      Beauty Clark

    • TheBidenator

      Take off, eh!

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Ann Coulter fancies herself a “constitutional scholar”.

    Right. Sure.

    • RoyalUglyDude

      Kind of like how Rand Paul is a “doctor?”

  • liberaldawg

    She is so charming.

  • Mavenmaven

    GOP CATFIGHT!!!

  • Comrade Wingtardd 5467p

    It’s so sad to see that 65 million in contributions just go down the toilet, seeing as how he’s not eligible to run for president, I mean not at all, not by a longshot, he’s a total foreigner, end of story. Jeebus in a chicken basket the GOP donors blow some money on these hopeless fucktards. I think the Koch’s lost 50 mil on Walker alone.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      50 mil to a Koch is what 50 bucks might be to a doctor. Bit of a nice chunk but no biggy, really.

    • Zhu Bajie

      Further proof (were it needed) that rich people are not smarter than the rest of us.

  • Vecciojohn

    It came from out of the North! The White Peril!

    • Zippy

      Winter is coming

      • nmmagyar

        She does resemble a white walker

        • snigsy

          More like a wendigo.

      • Anarchy Pony

        Starks are always right, eventually.

    • Tansy Geek

      All the doughy pastiness of Canada with none of the redeeming politeness.
      apologizes to the Canadian Wonketeers. I know you’re not all built like Mike Myers or Dan Ackroyd.

      • sw19womble

        Justin Trudeau libel!

        • nmmagyar

          WOOF!

          • sw19womble

            RAWR!

          • nmmagyar

            My panties just shot across the room and hit the cat

          • vivian

            At least they’re still covering a pussy…

          • nmmagyar

            Nope, they are covering a pussy now…

          • Helena Handbag

            What a crock, we both know you don’t wear panties! Oh, sorry. That’s me.

          • TheBidenator

            Keep going….

          • TheBidenator

            Did they make one of those hilarious bullet ricochet sounds from old timey Westerns? If so, is the cat still alive?

          • nmmagyar

            Luckily I wear very small t-backs, so she’s fine

          • Msgr_Moment

            Go ask Schrodinger.

          • Vienna Woods
          • Jen_Baker_VA

            goddamnit, Womble, I was trying to think abstinently tonight.

          • Zhu Bajie

            get the photo in boxing stance!

          • Msgr_Moment

            or in boxers.

          • lroom

            Just posted it up the thread for ya.

          • Anarchy Pony

            Fucking pretty boy…

        • lroom

          I’ll just leave this here

      • TheBidenator

        Jessica Pare is built like a brick shithouse….

      • Vienna Woods

        Well, I AM on a diet!

        • Tansy Geek

          I confess to a certain doughiness myself but I’m from New England. Between the donuts, the baked beans and the craft beers, we are doomed.

      • Tansy Geek

        I’m libeling my own comment now.
        Ryan Reynolds libels! I am totally looking forward to the splatstick comedy that is Deadpool the movie

      • Werewolf

        Cobie Smulders libel!

  • Squirrel_t_robot

    When a talking skeleton says shit, people tend to notice.

    Unless it is A Idiot like Coulter.

    • Zippy

      #notalltimburtonmovies

  • DemmeFatale

    Question:
    Did the Founding Fathers put this in to keep some foreign nobleman or woman from sweeping in and taking power?

    • Squirrel_t_robot

      I think the Electoral College was established to keep the yahoos out of the US presidency, and the natural born thing was another insurance policy.

      • sw19womble

        Well, that lasted a couple of hundred years I suppose.

      • Zhu Bajie

        Few expected it to last a generation, anyway.

      • Comrade Wingtardd 5467p

        Probably, but it (the EC) cuts both ways. It assumed the status quo would never go batshit crazy, and unfortunately it has. So it also functions to keep meaningful reform from happening, also, too.

    • Zippy

      Dual loyalties

      True story- the first eight presidents weren’t born in the United States

      • sw19womble

        It would have been interesting to have given the first few turns at POTUS to the Navajo and Sioux, et al…

    • Vienna Woods

      I always thought it was to stop Alexander Hamilton, born in St Kitts, from being president (although Burr took care of that on his own)

    • TheBidenator

      I always figured it was a final “fuck you” at the loyalist Tories who’d been booted into Canada with the rest of the British post Revolutionary War.

  • Tansy Geek

    Hate brined piece of vulture jerky says what?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I was just trying to write my own description seconds ago. I cannot top this.

  • RoyalUglyDude

    No one can give ann coulter a hug. Her enormous Adam’s apple would get on the way (or maybe it’s just the unfortunate lighting in that photo).

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Must be tough being a washed-up attention whore too toxic even for Dancing With The Stars or Survivor.

    • vivian

      Alas, The Love Boat has sailed for the last time, and The Hate Boat is full to overcrowding while her press clippings are all too old to get her onboard.

      • Zhu Bajie

        There is still the Ship of Fools.

    • TheBidenator

      When did Sarah Palin get dragged into this youbetcha?

  • Joshua Norton

    Sorry, Teddy. But when you lie down with rabid dogs, don’t be surprised when you end up as their chew toy.

    • SK

      This one is still a pisser.

  • BMW

    I am actually mad at Trump and Coulter for making me almost feel bad for Ted. Lesser of 3 evils, I guess?

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      I’m with ya. Though I do howl in vicious glee that they are cannibalizing on their own and it will likely split the entire disfunction into 2 parties, finally, thereby utterly destroying the GOP for now and forever (I can dream, ok) I do want to smack some votes on some AC, maybe dipped first in Flint water just for effect.

      • Zhu Bajie

        Authoritarian personalities and politics are with us always, I fear.

  • TheBidenator

    What a moose’s caboose, eh? We don’t want that hoser ridin’ his skadoo up in the great white north, drinkin’ all our Icehouse and insisting there’s hockey worth watchin’ in the states ya know? I don’t care how much poutine that sucker has had to eat, this is aboot dignity and respect and the right to hold our heads high and say “yes, we are frostbacks!” So if you don’t mind too much, take off with that kind of talk.
    P.S. Montreal Canadiens suck, Canucks forever!

    • Helena Handbag

      My toes are curling from all the Canadian references.

      • TheBidenator

        I’ll be in my boonk!

        • Thom

          Sowry, but I just wanted to say was a cunnin’ rant that’ll earn you a loonie!

      • Anarchy Pony

        Tell me more aboot that, eh…

      • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

        That’s very puckish humor.

      • bozilingus

        You must have pretty big stones to say that.

    • Msgr_Moment

      A true Canuckistani would call them Habs!

      • Major_Major_Major

        As a Bruins fan, I believe it is actually spelled “Scabs”.

    • JustDon’tSayDittos

      Our country reeks of trees,
      Our yaks are very large,
      And they smell like rottingmoosecarcasses

      something something

      The Royal Canadian Mounted Yaksmen

      I miss Ren and Stimpy

  • lucidamente

    Asked whether Obama is enjoying watching Cruz deal with questions about his birthplace, Earnest replied, “I don’t know if he does, but I sure do.”

    Yes, young Jedi Josh, you have learned well the art of trolling.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      He learned if from no fucks to give Bamz, who in turn, learned it from the Wonkette, allegedly.

  • lucidamente

    Watching Ann Coulter lose her shit over Ted Cruz’s citizenship almost lessens the sadness I feel at the passing of one of my heroes, Pierre Boulez (I am a giant nerd).

  • LegionOfDo

    I have exactly zero sympathy for Cruz. Run him over the coals.

  • Sam Hain

    Ted Cruz, Cubanadian by birth/citizenship.
    Asshole by choice.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      His vile dominionism belongs to him. His choice.

      • Nockular cavity

        Well Canada IS actually a Dominion (of the British Empire), so that fits.

        • sw19womble

          Not any more – just a member of the Commonwealth – although the Queen is still Head of State.

    • Joe Beese

      Canaban

  • Alan Williams

    Teddie “Yukon” Boi Cruz is ’bout to discover what happens when you crack open the box formerly owned by Pandora.

    • Msgr_Moment

      Free music downloads?

  • Joe Beese
    • Mr Corrections

      That article’s insistence on using “He, Trump” everywhere is making the He-Man theme song get stuck in my head.

  • Sheepshagger

    Oh if you want humor check out the Breitbart comment section on this. Like a bunch of feral pigs eating their own guts and not too sure who gets chomped first.

    • Joe Beese

      <>

      Sounds like a plan!

    • TheBidenator

      Ew…no. Not even with the way you describe it just that I have better things to do with my life like see how many of my bones will be broken if I jump out of a third story window…..

  • Zhu Bajie

    Ann Coulter is still a celebrity?

    • Ricky Gay

      every year at 4-H

      • nmmagyar

        I heard she’s American Pharaoh’s great-dam

  • therblig

    the great thing about the internet is that stuff like this hangs around forever:

    http://bigpicture.typepad.com/writing/2005/04/i_fucked_ann_co.html

    • cousin itt

      Well, fuck me upside down on a Wednesday. Ann told me I was her first!

    • Anarchy Pony

      That was hilarious!

  • Paperless Tiger

    Crazy Annie had a sweet niche as the extremest extremist, but now extremism has gone Presidential, so she’s just another nut in the mix. It didn’t happen overnight, but when McCain picked Palin for VP, it broke the glass ceiling for crazy, evidently. If I were Ann, I would kick that bitch’s ass.

    • HenryKillinger

      Make it public, and the winner can be Trump’s VP.

  • azeyote

    trying to guilt trip your readers into giving Ann Coulter a hug is offensive – like gag me with a chainsaw and get it over with –

  • thewitchqueen74

    I finally figured out who Cruz reminds me of:

    • Ricky Gay

      an unflushable stool?

      • thewitchqueen74

        That too :D

        • Ricky Gay

          took a sec for your image to appear. wish it hadn’t :)

          • thewitchqueen74

            Lol!! Sorry :D

          • Ricky Gay

            Witch Queen… of New Orleans?! I ♥ Redbone :)

          • thewitchqueen74

            I wish I lived in New Orleans. Lovely town :)

          • Ricky Gay
          • thewitchqueen74

            Oh my gosh! I’ve never heard this song before!

          • Ricky Gay

            you will love it now. amen.

          • thewitchqueen74

            Thank you for sharing this!! I love it!

          • sw19womble

            I never realised they did Come And Get Your Love!
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_jRQBGKPaA

          • Ricky Gay

            another classic!

    • Markuserektus

      A barbacoa burrrito?

    • nmmagyar

      Jay Leno on a meth binge?

    • cousin itt

      White trash heroin?

      Oh no, wait. That’s Trump.

      Oh no, wait. That’s Huckabee.

      Oh no, wait, That’s AoT,K.

      • danteardenz

        Oh wait ,that’s Limbaugh
        Oh wait that’s Palin.
        Oh wait thats the entire Tea Party !

    • Jenny

      AHHHH IT’S THE PEDO BEAR SHOW!

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Is Ann Coulter still a thing? Was Ann Coulter ever a thing?

  • harmonikasavingsbond

    Never to worry. Ted Cruz has all the credibility and charisma of an unwashed asshole.

    • nmmagyar

      Unwashed Asshole Libel!!!

      • cousin itt

        Ed McMahon asks, “How unwashed was the asshole?”

        • mailman27

          Hey-oooh!!

  • Left Coast Tom

    I think we need to hear Orly Taitz’…learned?…legal opinion on the matter of Cruz’ eligibility.

    • MilwaukeeKent

      Also her dental opinion on this matter…Taitz is learned in many areas. For instance we should ask Taitz if there is any tooth to the rumor that Ted is a Cuban-Canadian sleeper agent.

    • mailman27

      Orly can pack Learned Sand.

  • Shibusa

    I thought Cruz was born of a jackal.

    • cousin itt

      Jackals jack.

      It’s what they do.

    • sw19womble

      Damien Thorn Libel!!!666!!!

      • eddi

        Jackal libelz also too.

      • Anarchy Pony

        It’s all for you, Teddy!

        • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

          LEE REMICK OH NO!

  • Ricky Gay

    Theodore Cruz – The Costa Concordia of candidates.

    • tex7

      His name is actually Rafael.

      • Ricky Gay

        that changes everything!

  • Shibusa

    Oh lord. I made the mistake of posting an opinion or two about Obama’s crazy idea about making everybody who wants a gun pass a background check and I now have a pack of murderous patriots after me. Geez, it’s not like he’s making them all join a well-regulated militia.

  • HITO

    Coulter used to love ChrisChristie. Fickle bitch.

  • SeekNDestroy

    Tedward Cruz.

    Even creepier than Donnie Trump.

    Have some machine gun bacon, creep.

  • SeekNDestroy

    Every time Tedward speaks, his dads lips move.

    • HITO

      IMDb states that Tedward is 5’8″. Papa Cruz looks to be about 5’6″ in this pic. Papa can hide behind Tedward, and no one can see his hand up Ted’s back controlling his puppet head.

      http://static01.nyt.com/images/2015/11/07/us/09CRUZDADweb2/09CRUZDADweb2-articleLarge.jpg

      • boll ocks

        “Hand up Ted’s ass” There, fixed that for ya.

        • HITO

          probably

      • Brianna Amoré

        His nose has grown longer. I swear it.

      • DahBoner

        Lots of short guys go into politics, hahaha

    • RC

      and that’s really the scariest part of Tedward

  • bozilingus

    I am waiting for the Constitutional scholar Barry “Bamz” Obama to weigh in with his opinion. Won’t matter which way he chooses to go, Rep heads will be exploding. If he says Cruz is eligible to be “Queen for a Day” then Trump and his minions will be shitting bricks (yuuuuge gold ones, natch). If Cruz gets the “thumbs down” then Teddy will go off the deep end and start biting the heads off of bats. Good times for us!

  • gingerland62

    Hugging Ann Coulter would be like hugging my Festivus pole. Tall, thin and icy cold.

    • Barley_Brains

      And the long horse face…that you know is longing for Ronnie Raygun thrashing in her loins.

  • JohnR

    Where does Ann keep his junk?

  • Poly_Ester

    Perhaps Ted could assert the “Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution” clause because by Senate privilege it wasn’t adopted until he said it was as a US Senator.

  • JohnnyZhivago2

    I thought Cruz was a “sovereign” citizen – above all this.

  • Count Awesome

    Needs more grease paint and red bulbous noses.

  • Lambsendbeds

    I do not remember where I read this comment, but I am repeating it : It doesn’t matter that Playboy won’t be showing nude women any more, because thanks to Ann Coulter, everybody knows what a cunt looks like. True dat…

    • Count Awesome

      Almost makes me want to be gay. Almost…

      • Zippy

        I just don’t have the wardrobe or the fashion sense…

        • Count Awesome

          I know. I’m just never quite FABULOUS enough no matter how hard I try. Although I do like brunch.

          • cousin itt

            With momosas, please.

          • Count Awesome

            I prefer a bloody mary/ceaser.

          • sw19womble

            Also Donald Trump’s least favourite drink.

          • Count Awesome

            As if that piece of shit”s opinion means anything when i consume booze and chain smoke.

          • SayItWithWookies

            “I know what Bloody Mary was doing in there — it’s disgusting.”

          • mailman27

            Fer shur. Brunch every day!!

      • Anarchy Pony

        Kinda makes me want to be asexual. Which probably would relieve a lot of my day to day stress…

        • Count Awesome

          “A-romantic” may suit you better.
          I hope you you don’t get a visit from the Department of Labor because they aren’t authorized to a lot of things.

          • sw19womble

            As I saw on twitter recently: romantic frustration is worse than sexual frustration because you can rub one out, but can’t hold yourself tightly as you fall asleep…
            All said, ‘ace biro’ is the way to go. Not that I’m biased or anything ;p

          • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

            Well, if you rub one out by candlelight, you know, you cover both bases.

          • sw19womble

            Also buying oneself dinner beforehand is half the price.

  • boll ocks

    I never thought i would love the birther agenda so much. Right wing politics are so fucking bizarre they make my head spin.

    • Count Awesome

      You’re going to need Dramamine until sometime in November.

    • danteardenz

      That’s why Abe Lincoln said ,” politics makes strange bedfellows “.

  • HobbesEvilTwin

    Republicans Eating Their Own is the bestest reality teevee show evar.

    • eddi

      High drama and low comedy. Or is the other way around?

    • danteardenz

      No, Trump is eating all of the dweebs up…I for one cheer this !

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        Pft, Trump isn’t eating anyone up. He’s just a total flat out blowhard and will be falling out of this mess eventually. He stopped being funny when his little brownshirt followers started actually physically harming people.

        • danteardenz

          Sorry, Trumps running a masterpiece campaign ,and is taking on the ex Liberals called Neoconservatives who destroyed this country .
          Like you, love referencing ” Naaaaaazis ” on everything just like the ex Trotskyites they are …none of the other candidates can match him.
          Little dweebs cannot best big personality.

  • Joshua Norton

    Slightly OT, but Evan, you’re BFF is back on Teh Twitters after months of silence! For some reason he feels it’s very important for people to know when his Downton digs were actually repainted:

    https://twitter.com/aaronschock/status/684034729809608705

    • akryan

      Sounds like he’s a little butthurt, which in no way (except in every way) is meant to be a dog whistle closeted gay joke.

    • AnOuthouse

      Good thing it was painted the right color. It saved Aaron from having to do that.

  • Count Awesome

    In a week or so everyone in the GOP is going to be butthurt while wearing red clown noses on the tip of their dicks. It’s a rage boner contest just in time for the debate that follows Obama’s final state of the Union address.

    • margd

      “Itsva rage boner conyesr…”

      Is this a Wonkette in joke I haven’t figured out yet?

      • Count Awesome

        It’s a big ostentatious dick joke that keeps on giving. Like clown noses and “camping” in eastern Oregon.

  • danteardenz

    We do have Cruzs birth certificate ,and it says ,CANADA .

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    Isn’t that just like Ann Coulter. Just when we have a diplomatic breakthrough with Cuba, she’s trying to sabotage it. What if she succeeds in making Cruz President of Cuba?

    • beavertank

      I think trying to give him back to Cuba would be considered an act of war.

  • eddi

    Does Obama enjoy watching the Rebs practice cannibalism? Does a bear Pope in the woods?

    • Anarchy Pony

      Is a shit catholic?

      • danteardenz

        No Cruz is not Catholic ,but a wack job Fundamentalist, with a crazy minister father .

  • danah gaz ❤?❤

    Oh look an Ann Coulter article with comments (which are not allowed)

    A liberal makes a transmisogynistic comment in 3.. 2.. 1..

    • AnOuthouse

      Oh honey, you truly are the purest form of pure. Bless you.

      • clubseal

        The transmisogynistic broke in my ’94 Ford Tempo once. What a mess!

      • danah gaz ❤?❤

        Is that code for “not a bigot” these days?

        I don’t keep up with the latest in American liberal apologism

  • beavertank

    Oh, Ann… I know you can feel the slow creep of irrelevance gently sucking your life force away… but being an unrelenting idiot is only a short term solution.

    • hugo von wink

      i don’t know. it’s gotten her this far.

    • sw19womble

      Fortunately for her, it’s the Republican long-term strategy.

    • rg9rts

      Its the $$$$$

  • kaw143

    Though I freely admit to having my (metaphoric) ass handed to me in the overall legalistic argument that Cruz is eligible for the presidency, I maintain that this kerfluffle has absolutely nothing to do with constitutional law, but it is rather Trump simply sharing his campaign plans with everyone, like you are not supposed to do.

  • richardgrabman

    Even better, under the Cuban Constitution, the child of a “natural born Cuban” is a citizen, even if the citizen has emigrated. When did Ted Cruz renounce his Cuban citizenship?

    • Msgr_Moment

      The Matanzas Candidate.

      • Sheepshagger

        Ambrose Bierce libel!

  • YayConspiracy

    Oh, look, it’s Ann and Sarah fighting over Trump’s VP nomination….

    • therblig

      and there they are

      • OneDemin EOr

        Scare-ubs!

        • DancesWithWolves

          Buhahahahaha! made my day!

  • motmelere

    What took so long? I knew the penny would eventually drop, but I have been getting that same feeling that hits me around minute 15 of In A Godda Da Vida (full vinyl side); we all know where you’re going, we’re all having a good time, but get to the point already!

  • fka_donnie_d

    Let it never be said that Coulter doesnt listen to liberals (7 years too late)

  • freakishlystrong

    Ugh. This was the same person who wrote a book blaming every ill in Ameriduh on single mothers, and then turned around and named that Palin woman, “Conservative hypocritical grifer of the Year”. Who had a daughter who was a single mother. So really, anything Coulter says should be taken with a truckload of salt.

    • Msgr_Moment

      “…anything Coulter says should be taken with a truckload of salted rat dicks (BY HER).

      FTFY.

  • rg9rts

    For once Coultergeist say something that makes sense

  • Nicholas Rostov

    She’s on Trump’s payroll.

    • OneDemin EOr

      Nah, too butt-ugly for Der Trump.

  • thirdeblue

    This is the ratfucking we’ve been looking for.

  • dslindc

    Ahh yes, more words from noted horrible bitch, Ann Coulter. STFU, ANN COULTER!!

  • Haribo Lector

    Even a broken clock etc

  • Jason M

    This is one of those stories best filed under, ” Fuck Everyone Involved”.

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    • JVB

      Donna Chapman the Internets village Bicycle. Everyone has had a ride.

      • TundraGrifter

        Gone from making dimes writing fake Ashley Madison profiles to making pennies SPAM’ing legimate websites.

        Good think Wonkette doesn’t allow comments!

      • clubseal

        The real joke is that a McLaren F1 is going to cost a hell of a lot more than an 18,512$ paycheck. She is cute though, so maybe if I just click a little bit …

  • AnOuthouse

    Ted is a CANADIAN anchor baby. Go back to Calgary, hoser.

  • borninatrailer

    Even Coulter doesn’t like the syrupback.

  • zanzibar_buckbuck_mcfate

    Unreal.

  • MyDogsAreSmarterThanYou

    World’s Worst Human. Fuck Ann Coulter and anything that she says. The only thing I want to hear about her is that she’s dropped dead.

    • Angry and Short

      Dead persons libelz! (did I do that right?)

  • Whoa. Annie did a that turnabout on a dime! Did she suddenly learn that Cruz was of the “Hebrew persuasion”?

  • Blackest Noobs
  • Bill Slider

    According to another article I read moments ago, Senator John McCain believes the Ted Cruz citizenship question is a valid question to pursue. McCain said that he, himself, was born on a US military base, which is not foreign soil. Cruz, however, was born on foreign soil. So, we are talking dirt here, real dirt. Juan McCain thinks Cruz should go to court and have his citizenship clarified. I read this to mean McCain supports JEB. Yes, Wonkette is damn diddley right to question the citizenship of the Canadian born Cuban. We need to drag this out for at least a year or five.

    • Gleem-McShinez

      We really need some scientists to take soil samples around all the US Military bases everywhere in the world, to make sure the soil itself is actually from America. Otherwise, for all those so-called Military Base borned babies? CITIZENSHIP REVOKED!!!1 OVER THE TRUMP WALL YOU GO!!!!!

    • Axomamma

      The military base qualification is a fallacy, because if it counted as US soil for citizenship purposes, foreigners could merely go to the closest base to drop their spawn and then be eligible to pass go without paying $200. I read all about this when McCain ran against Obama..

  • Calli Arcale

    “Also, Cruz is fair game because he is
    polling very well against Donald J. Trump, and Coulter loves Trump and
    his racism so goddamned much, she wants to have his abortions.”

    Hahahahaha, that’s great hyperbole. Of course she didn’t say anything quite that crazy . . .

    . . . oh. Wait. She did.

    *headdesk*

  • proudgrampa

    Jesus. We’re just now getting around to this?
    Cruz is toast.

  • TheKlot

    How about we just deport him to Cuba or Mexico and see if he can make it to the U.S. and get citizenship lol I think he may get a dose of humble pie.

  • Candy Apple

    I don’t know if anyone else mentioned this, but in the 2008 election, I remember Ann Coulter saying that if John McCain got the party’s nomination, she would vote for Hillary Clinton, because Clinton “was more Conservative than John McCain.”

    I don’t know if she had reservations about his birthplace, but she sure didn’t like his reaching across the aisle.

  • TutuWuwu

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/muckraker/ted-cruz-mother-canadian-voter-list

    Seems Canada regarded Mrs Cruz as a Canadian citizen. She was eligible, whether or not she voted. A tee and a hee.

  • Joe Tex

    A Canadian Anchor Baby would not be eligible based on a strict reading of the Constitution – check this out http://www.nofrackingway.us/2016/01/07/unnatural-citizen-cruz/

  • mtn_philosoph

    Not going birther on this. Nope, not going to do it. I mean, it’s not as if there weren’t plenty of other reasons to oppose a Cruz Presidency. The highly technical question of Rafael’s Constitutional eligibility to hold the office is, um, waaaaaay down on my list of the reasons why he should not be President. To put it mildly. (I think it’s on page 549 of my list, but I’ll have to look it up to be sure.)

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