Praise God And Pass The Maple Syrup: Donald Trump Goes Birther On Ted Cruz

Just sayin' ...

It's moments like this that make a humble little blogger so grateful to be alive and sitting at her computer machine 37 hours a day, in her sweats that haven't been changed in [ redacted ] days:

Donald Trump said in an interview that rival Ted Cruz’s Canadian birthplace was a “very precarious” issue that could make the Texas senator vulnerable if he became the Republican presidential nominee.

[contextly_sidebar id="SDS22Keh6rKakDsFIdtDRChw9LJvEPZu"]Is he ... is he really going there? To that place? The place where even the fringiest wingnuttiest of wingnuts have (mostly) dared not go because Ted Cruz isn't black or Hawaiian or a Democrat and so obviously not-really-American, like certain presidents named B. HUSSEIN Obama?

The fuck do you think? He's Donald Trump! Of course he's going there:

“Republicans are going to have to ask themselves the question: ‘Do we want a candidate who could be tied up in court for two years?’ That’d be a big problem,” Trump said when asked about the topic. “It’d be a very precarious one for Republicans because he’d be running and the courts may take a long time to make a decision. You don’t want to be running and have that kind of thing over your head.”

Trump added, “I’d hate to see something like that get in his way. But a lot of people are talking about it and I know that even some states are looking at it very strongly, the fact that he was born in Canada and he has had a double passport.”

[contextly_sidebar id="a6cx942lBUbFJS4nZzeGvYJdM2TX1los"]Trump sure would hate it (wink wink) if anyone were to drag Cruz to court (WINK WINK) over "precarious" questions regarding his eligibility (WINK MOTHERFUCKIN' WINK ) to pose a threat to Donald Trump's presidential campaign. Would be a real shame if that were to happen (SERIOUSLY, YOU PEOPLE TAKING NOTES HERE?), especially since Cruz has a "double passport," which may or may not be true, and may or may not even be a real thing. Especially since Cruz renounced his Canadian citizenship years ago when people like Donald Trump -- yes, that Donald Trump, duh -- first started speculating that Cruz is a unlegitimate foreign.

Better stop looking so good in those polls, Sen. Cruz, or The Donald might have to send his team of private investigators after your so-called birth certificate too.

UPDATE: Cruz's response seems a little low-energy, don't you think?

[ WaPo ]