SHARE
OR GO TO JAIL.
OR GO TO JAIL.

It’s only January, but the Let’s Be Real Dicks To Transgender People contest is already in full swing. Indiana Republican state Sen. Jim Tomes has written hisself a bill, SB 35, which would throw those scary transgender people in jail if they insist on taking whizzes and making boom-boom in bathrooms that correspond with their gender identity:

[T]he bill mandates that any transgender person who uses a public sex-specific restroom, locker room, or shower room that matches their gender identity has committed a “single sex public facility trespass,” which it deems a Class A misdemeanor. A Class A misdemeanor is the highest non-felony charge in Indiana, punishable by up to one year in jail and a fine of up to $5,000 dollars.

Good to see that Houston voters aren’t the only ones in America who understand that the greatest threat to American society is when transgender people need to take a leak.

Is this a whole new level of dickitude, to actually say “GO TO JAIL, YOU GROSS GAYGENDERS?” Nope! Turns out this was attempted just last year, in both Texas and Florida, but it failed. And the language in those bills was mighty similar to the words in Sen. Tomes’s bill.

Like so, in Texas:

Under HB 1748, it would be a Class A misdemeanor for any individual over the age of 13 to “enter a locker room, shower facility, or toilet facility that is designated for use by persons of a gender that is not the same gender as the individual’s gender.” Under Texas law, a Class A misdemeanor shall be punished by a fine of up to $4,000 and up to a year in jail.

And in Florida:

According to HB 538, a trans person using the proper bathroom would commit a misdemeanor of the first degree, punishable by up to a year in jail or a $1,000 fine. This criminalization would “secure privacy and safety for all individuals.”

Think Progress reports that Tomes’s bill also echoes failed bills from Kentucky and Nevada (which left Nevada Assemblywoman Michele Fiore EXTREMELY vulnerable on her “nakedness area”). Gosh, it’s almost like some outside organization might be writing these bills, not that rightwingers would ever orchestrate a nationwide campaign like that, no not never.

Tomes, who is being a real fuckin’ dick to transgender people, says he is not being a real fuckin’ dick to transgender people, in this quote obtained by Fox 59 in Indianapolis:

Shouldn’t we also ask about…what about the other sector of society of people that who have all through the decades women been using women’s restrooms and men been using men’s restrooms and kind of like that and kind of expect that level of privacy?

Did this man hire Sarah Palin to make sentences for him, because WTF DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?

Tomes’s bill also makes it Against The Rules for transgender kids and teenagers to use the school bathrooms and locker rooms of the genders they identify with, but it doesn’t say he’s going to throw the children in jail, so that’s nice of him. As we asked in another piece just a few months back, about ANOTHER fuck the transgenders law in Wisconsin, is that shit even legal in schools under Title IX? The answer then, as now, was not no but fuck no.

Here is the silver lining: According to the wording of SB 35, these new rules would NOT apply to “a facility in a private residence.” So DON’T WORRY, TRANSGENDERS, you are still allowed to do the pee pee dance in your own house, or your friend’s house maybe, as long as your friend is not Indiana state Sen. Jim Tomes. Besides, most people prefer to do number two at home anyway, so it shouldn’t be a big deal to do all the number ones there too, right?

[Think Progress / Indiana SB 35 / Fox 59 via Mediaite]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Nounverb911

    I read on the internets that NOBODY identifies with Jim Tomes sex.

    • Oblios_Cap

      I read that this is the only place on the Intertoobz that has the words “Jim Tomes” and “sex” on the same page.

    • SpideySenser

      Not even Margie.

  • Joe Beese

    How many roads must a man walk down?

    How much urine must a transgender hold in?

    • Oblios_Cap

      “42”

    • Wonkaholic

      AOT,K

  • Oblios_Cap

    If trans folks can be taking whizzes and making boom-boom in bathrooms that correspond with their gender identity, what’s next?
    Christ! Next they’ll be wanting to let women reporters into men’s locker rooms after sportsball games. It’s a slippery slope, I tells ya!

  • Steven Posey

    Someone should hire a bunch of super trashy drag queens to follow around him and his wife and yell fashion insults.

    • marxalot

      I like the lady (former drag queen and still active performer) who’s made it her personal mission to introduce everyone to the idea that these laws dictate that she will be in the gents, with their husbands, side-eyeing them at the urinals and making sarcastic/lascivious comments about their dicks.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Ugh, as a guy, i gotta say what really hacks me off is when an obviously gay dude sidles up next to me way too close in the line of urinals, all chummy and chatty and then looks real disappointed all the sudden.

        • marxalot

          I vote for strict enforcement of Asimov’s codes of social behavior from The Caves of Steel. Often overlooked in favor of the Three Laws of Robotics, rule one is: never talk to anyone, ever, in the public washroom. Rule two is: that goes double for eye contact.

          • SpideySenser

            1st RULE: You do not talk about F̶I̶G̶H̶T̶ ̶C̶L̶U̶B̶ PISS CLUB

            2nd RULE: You DO NOT talk about F̶I̶G̶H̶T̶ ̶C̶L̶U̶B̶ PISS CLUB

          • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

            You must be a boy person.

          • marxalot

            Not at birth or by socialization. By appointment, sometimes.
            Just don’t talk to me while I pee! This isn’t a dressing room!

          • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

            I have a couple of friends who talk louder as soon as they enter the stall, it is somewhat disconcerting.

  • Indiepalin

    Bathroom attendants at Colts games are already armed and considered delicious.

  • Michael Rush

    The people who get most worked up about transgender people ( or even Muslims ) will probably never meet one .

  • Shouldn’t we also ask about…what about the other sector of society of people that who have all through the decades women been using women’s restrooms and men been using men’s restrooms and kind of like that and kind of expect that level of privacy?

    Speaking as a man who’s been using the men’s room for 40 years or so now, I can honestly say that I don’t give a shit if a trans-man decides to walk in and use a stall or a urinal to pee.

    The only people who seem obsessed with dicks and hoo-hahs are the people passing these laws.

    • Michael Rush

      You’re interfering with God’s intended ” natural ” urinal laws .

      • blaid droog

        He only said decades. Last century we were all bears and we all know where bears shit.

        • Suttree

          In the Pope’s hat?

  • drbloor

    “Did this man hire Sarah Palin to make sentences for him, because WTF DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?”

    Something something THINK OF THE CHILDRENZ something!!1!eleventy!

  • Count Awesome

    What’s next? Dogs using litterboxes? Cats burying bones in the back yard?

    • Wonkaholic

      Mass hysteria!

      • mailman27

        In this “legislators'” case, an idle brain is indeed the devil’s playground.

    • sex public facility trespass

      Don’t even fucking joke about that shit, man.

  • Callyson

    Shouldn’t we also ask about…what about the other sector of society of people that who have all through the decades women been using women’s restrooms and men been using men’s restrooms and kind of like that and kind of expect that level of privacy?

    Allow me to introduce a radical new concept to you:

    • Count Awesome

      He’s not deep enough in the water closet to get any privacy.

    • Spotts1701

      AMAZING!

    • Werewolf

      Please, tell me more about how sheep’s bladders may be employed to predict earthquakes.

    • HazumuOsaragi

      Not radical enough for other first/second-world countries where either the partitions go floor-to-ceiling with minuscule, no-see-through gaps, or the toilets are in separate rooms with regular doors.

    • marxalot

      Has anyone told these guys about stall doors? What goes on in the gents, anyway?

      • sw19womble

        Men go in. Shit comes out. You can’t explain it.

        • SpideySenser

          OH GREAT! Now my keyboard is a mess. From guffawing, not shitting.

      • proudgrampa

        “What goes on in the gents, anyway?”
        You don’t wanna know. Ask “Wide Stance Larry.”

  • jviscont1

    Trump’s solution would be to close all ladies rooms because disgusting things happen there.

    • Nounverb911

      What room does Melanoma use?

      • jviscont1

        you think Donald isn’t classy enough to have a 24k golden shower room?

  • FauxAntocles

    These RWNJs are a monumental waste of protoplasm.

  • Spotts1701

    I know people in Indiana are bored because it’s winter and the Colts are done for the season, but isn’t there anything productive to do?

    • sw19womble

      Move the Colts to another city?
      Oh wait, already got three teams wanting to bail on their fans this year.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Seriously, and you thought LA was already too crowded…

    • BigBoppa

      It’s Indiana so basically it’s the Colts, the Pacers or dinner at Denny’s.

  • Wonkaholic

    I have a serious/non-snarky and slightly OT question, but if anyone can answer this for me, the Wonketariat can. Would it be considered rude to ask a Transgender person what pronoun they prefer to be identified with when including them in a group conversation?

    • BetsyBleedingheart

      I’m not trans but I’ve worked within the trans community. Most trans/genderqueer people I know are not offended if you ask them their preferred pronoun as this makes their lives that much easier.

      Of course, your mileage may vary, and I have in fact also known trans/genderqueer people who were VERY offended by my asking. *shrug*

      • sw19womble

        Yep. Can be tricky. I’ve found that if they start yelling at you for your insensitivity, just forget the pronouns and go straight for “go fuck yourself”. End of problem with that particular individual. :)

        • marxalot

          Thankfully, that goes for people of all gender: jerks handily identify themselves for us. :P

          • sw19womble

            Yep. I’m an equal opportunities misanthrope. Life is short :)

    • sw19womble

      I understand it’s “their” etc…?

      • BetsyBleedingheart

        That depends entirely on the person, and it’s better to ask when you can. However, if you’re unsure of a person’s preference, the polite thing to do is either use “their” or another gender-neutral pronoun, or avoid pronouns altogether.

      • Wonkaholic

        Thanks. Although that grates on the grammar nerd portion of my brain, I suppose looking at it as duality (myriadity?) could help reconcile my disconnect. I’ve always felt that gender-specific pronouns were archaic anyway, but I suppose any drive to create gender-neutral pronouns would go the way of the use of the metric system in US America.

        • DemmeFatale

          It’s super confusing.
          I have a nephew who has asked us to call him they/them/their.
          The plural nature of this makes it very hard for me.
          To bad there is no gender neutral singular pronoun, (I can’t use “it”) that will suffice.
          I avoid it as much as possible.

    • marxalot

      As someone who occasionally gets this question: provided you’re respectful about it, it is best to ask then guess wrong.

    • BetsyBleedingheart

      In my social work classes it’s becoming pretty common to ask *everyone* in the room to identify their preferred pronouns on the first day of class, to avoid assumptions about anyone’s gender presentation.

    • A Grumpy Cat

      In my experience, as long as you’re not Clearly An Asshole, they’ll appreciate you asking, unless they are Clearly An Asshole.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Today, we are all Clearly An Asshole.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          I don’t look forward to life under my asshole overlords.

  • SayItWithWookies

    I can’t wait for the gender-normative and trans-only drinking fountains. But I’ll have to, ’cause it’s gonna take forever for these fuckin’ yokels to learn how to spell “gender-normative.”

  • sex public facility trespass

    single sex public facility trespass

    Totally my new stripper name.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …just out of curiosity how do they plan on enforcing this law? Mandatory dick checks before entering a restroom?!

    • sex public facility trespass

      If that jackass on the other post has his way, yes, and he’ll be checking dicks with his rect*m.

      • Count Awesome

        He’s only looking for throbbing ones from what I hear.

        • sex public facility trespass

          If it doesn’t fit, you must acquit … yourself to the ladies room.

      • sw19womble

        Ooh! Is there yet another conflicted gay fanfic writer in our midst? They do seem to like the Wonkette.

        • A Grumpy Cat

          It’s the same idiot who is way too obsessed with/creeped out by bodily functions and can’t buy a dictionary to change up his vocabulary once in a whi … oh shit, it’s Donald Fucking Trump.

    • dslindc

      Maybe it’s a plan to create jerbs for nakedness area inspectors to help the economy, also too?

    • Msgr_Moment

      I think all transgenders should wear some visible article of clothing cloth, maybe a strip of fabric in the form of a — just spitballing here — maybe a geometric star shape or a triangle, something simple with a uniform color, so that people don’t think they’re just accessorizing.

    • marxalot

      Emergency gender check! Pants down, people, this is NOT a drill!

      • Lascauxcaveman

        “I’m in the bathroom, you moron, my pants are already down!”

    • Hemp Dogbane

      It’s a (state-run, of course) government program. Applicants pay $15 and get an “Official Whatever Inspector” t-shirt.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Hmm. What’s the benefits package like?

    • Zippy

      Job creators!

    • Usedtobeyellerdawg

      You mean, that’s not already a thing? Shit…I am so gullible.

  • Pinkham’s Law

    If “[T]he bill mandates that any transgender person who uses a public sex-specific restroom . . . “, why do they need to include the disclaimer that: “these new rules would NOT apply to “a facility in a private residence.”? Even if I choose to label, say, changing rooms in a poolhouse at my residence, as gender specific, the are already excluded form the legislation by virtue of NOT BEING PUBLIC FACILITIES!

    Do these folks even logic? Nevermind. No. The answer is, obviously, no.

  • sex public facility trespass

    Shouldn’t we also ask about…what about the
    other sector of society of people that who have all through the decades
    women been using women’s restrooms and men been using men’s restrooms
    and kind of like that and kind of expect that level of privacy?

    I think, loosely translated, “You know who else wants to be up in the other gender’s bathrooms? Pervs. Dirty, dirty pervs who will do their perv things and not want anyone to see them doing those nasty, nasty perv things like sliding throbbing, slippery mandoodles into other men’s a***ole r*ct*ms like that, oh yeah, baby.”

    • Count Awesome

      The glory hole is supposed to be out back.

    • Msgr_Moment

      OMG, keep it up. I love how you say “a***ole r*ct*ms”!!

    • Celtic_Gnome

      I love it when you talk asterisky.

  • Me not sure

    One must simply take a screwdriver and remove the gender specific sign before entering.

    • Msgr_Moment

      Or change them to Hungarian language.

      • SterWonk
        • AntiDerpomeme

          My nipples explode with delight!

          • SterWonk

            It’s my understanding that sometimes orgasm causes a release of milk, so that one is at least plausible.

      • Zippy

        My hovercraft is full of eels

    • sw19womble

      Mandatory:

      • Me not sure

        Busted!

    • Spotts1701

      This’ll really confuse ’em.

      • Me not sure

        You cannot let the “big bads” go where the “little reds” go!

      • BigBoppa

        Since the law makes one’s options strictly binary, this is the only appropriate sign.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    As I commented before – they’re forcing those born female who transitioned to men to use the ladies’ room – I hope they’re OK with that.

    • marxalot

      Considering how often I get the “uh, SIR, this is the LADIES room” treatment, there is going to be a LOT of unhappiness about that.
      For some reason, though, the pants-wetting centers on whether maybe there’s a dude who looks like a lady lurking around the corner.

      • HazumuOsaragi

        For some reason, though, the pants-wetting centers on whether maybe there’s a dude who looks like a lady lurking around the corner.

        But if that’s true, then why do the no-men-in-womens-bathrooms trans-haters always use a man presenting as a man, not as a woman-in-a-dress, in their TV ads and YouTube™ videos?

        • marxalot

          It’s because dicks are the only genitals that count. Projection, again, forever, and always.

          • HazumuOsaragi

            Reminds me of a joke I heard whilst in the military, that really sums up that attitude:

            Q: Why do doctors smack newborns on the butt?
            A: Knock the d!¢ks off the dumb ones…

        • Hemp Dogbane

          It’s called the Huckabee Effect.

      • Steven Posey

        Marginalization is terrible, but it’s fun knowing that I create such a weird fear response in them that I’m like the fucking Scarecrow.

      • Zippy

        Steven Tyler libul!!1!

      • SpideySenser

        La La La La Lola

  • Villago Delenda Est

    For a bunch of people who claim to abhor government overreach, these clowns sure are eager to write new laws that get seriously into overreach.

    • Steven Posey

      They’re all about big government, but only if it’s used specifically to bully people they don’t like.

      • MsAnthropesMr

        And war. Don’t forget war.

      • Zippy

        get the government off my back and put it squarely on yours…

      • Electric Ukulele Land

        It’s not so much “big” government as it is “small and petty” government.

    • Jeff Ackerman

      I think they are secretly into reach around.

    • Hardly Ideal

      I’m just left wondering how the hell they plan to enforce these laws. I don’t suppose when they say “small government,” they mean “glass-front restroom stalls.”

  • MsAnthropesMr

    Can we pass a law fining people of all genders for peeing on the seat?

    • DemmeFatale

      There are not enough upvotes in the world for this.

    • BearGHAZI

      HEY. There’s some piss on the seat, RELAX. It’s all minerals anyway

      • MsAnthropesMr

        YOU’RE THAT PERSON! FINE THE BEAR!

    • Or walking round in the summertime saying HOW ABOUT THIS HEAT?

  • iamnotascientist

    In this case, being an absolute horror of a human being costs the taxpayer thousands and thousands when considering the cost of bringing the bill to vote, legal challenges etc etc and being just a normal human being is free…but I guess they could always just take the money from health care or public schools…
    This shit is crazy. Some of these right wing politicians seem to just be trying to out-dick each other…and the bar keeps getting raised higher. Soon they will judge their success by the suicide rates among the LGBT community in their respective constituencies.

    • marxalot

      “Soon?”
      I thought that was the Regan Rule.

    • zerosumgame0005

      it’s todays “tough on crime” bullshit, a sick kind of “dare” thing to see who is the most fucked up human type being. the same shit got us mandatory minimums and legal theft called asset forfeiture

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      We need a serious real study on just how much tax payer money the right wing has wasted on toilet laws.

      • bozilingus

        We need a serious real study on just how much tax payer money the right wing has wasted. on toilet laws.

        No thanks needed.

  • Lizzietish81

    I think I understand the problem now. If you’re a Family Values Politician who is tapping his foot to do some wide stance male bonding only to find out that the guy you were propositioning has some lady bits it can be embarrassing. They’re just trying to avoid that kind of confusion.

  • Skwerl King

    Shouldn’t we also ask about…what about the other sector of society of people that who have all through the decades women been using women’s restrooms and men been using men’s restrooms and kind of like that and kind of expect that level of privacy?

    Is it me or have I hopped into a universe where stalls in restrooms don’t exist and people regularly do their “business” in full sight of others?

    • zerosumgame0005

      it’s not like women’s restrooms have urinals so those trans folk can’t just whip it out and pee anyway

      • Major_Major_Major

        Are you insinuating that the basins with the hot and cold handles in the women’s rest room is NOT a urinal? Sheesh, am I embarrasedc

        • zerosumgame0005

          Oh my! I am so sorry I burst your bladder, er, um, bubble I meant!

          • Major_Major_Major

            No wonder the women kept complaining here at the office. Who knew?

  • Olav_Pompatus

    This is all too confusing! I’m going back to simply peeing outside against a wall, like back in college.

  • baconzgood

    Big deal. I dont even see bathrooms aren’t uni sex. I mean the stalls DO have fucking doors.

    • Joe H

      It’s because we all know women’s restrooms are way grosser than the men’s room. No self respecting man would want to use a public restroom recently vacated by a woman.

      • Beaumarchais?

        No, no, no! Ladies rooms have palm fronds and attendants with warm towels and cappuccino bars and it’s where momma goes to escape us all when we’ve been bad.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        I had to clean the rest rooms in the morning at a large department store before opening. The men’s room was a cinch. The women’s room looked like someone set a case of toilet paper in the middle of the floor, dropped in a grenade with the pin pulled, and ran. Every single flat surface was covered in toilet paper.

  • Major_Major_Major

    Scat porn is a small niche, but apparently has a devoted group of republican enthusiasts.

  • sw19womble

    Had a discussion last month with my brother, about a new posh public convenience where he lives. Hope I can explain it well enough, but the layout is a row of self-enclosed units that all open out onto a well-lit alcove (with funky lights and everything).
    Apparently it had trouble getting through committee because the ladies, mens and disabled (and baby changing IIRC) all opened out into this alcove, rather that directly onto the street (somehow this would be okay?) and/or “men might be standing waiting outside”. Some people couldn’t get their heads around the concept that this would be precisely like a queue forming at a restaurant or, say, a stadium.
    You go in. Lock the door. Do your business. Wash your hands. Come out of the unit.
    “But a man might be standing there when a woman exits the ladies!”

    People are weird.

    • Hardly Ideal

      Amazing how it’s apparently easier to land on the moon or split atoms than it is to change people’s minds.

  • SpideySenser

    Have any of these “lawmakers” ever used a public restroom in China or (rural) Turkey? Boy are they in for a shock!

    • sw19womble

      France, too.

      • Thorn Spike

        Mon Pieu!

      • DemmeFatale

        Oregon, too.
        (Well, Portland anyway.)

    • Celtic_Gnome

      These “lawmakers” have never been outside the US of A.

  • baconzgood

    Needz moar “wide stance”.

  • Major_Major_Major

    Homie should just adopt the Vitter approach. No-one is gonna see your “no-no bits”, if you can just shit your diaper. Problem. Solved.

  • sw19womble

    FTR, I’m one of those piss-shy types who can’t go at a urinal if someone else is in the rest room – and really need to concentrate in the stalls.

    I don’t need anyone passing any dumbass laws protecting my privacy.

    • proudgrampa

      I feel your pain.

  • Toomush_Infer

    How does this apply historically to two-holers?…

    • bozilingus

      Didn’t the Russians have a solution?

  • Angry_Cop

    If I find who’s been shitting on the men’s room floor they’re going to get a gender-neutral beatdown.

    WTFFF?

  • Brianna Amoré

    Well that’s fine. I didn’t want to visit your shitty state anyways.

  • MrBlobfish

    If everyone went before they left the house like Mom said, we wouldn’t have any of these problems.

  • WIDTAP

    “Shouldn’t we also ask about…what about the other sector of society of people that … kind of expect that level of privacy?

    WTF DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?”

    It means people who grew up in isolation, outside of families sharing a household where everyone has to use the same bathrooms as everyone else.

  • sillyclucker

    Why didn’t he just prohibit transgenders from going to the bathroom ever? Wimp RHINO.

    • BigBoppa

      The Krazy Glue lobby hasn’t gotten to him yet.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    This definitely sounds like the sort of thing one should spend more time debating. After all, you want a good answer when your grandchildren asks you what you achieved in your political career.

  • Joe H

    This whole thing is so simple. Remove the man and woman symbols from the doors. Replace them with penises and vaginas. Take a look in your pants, and go to the room that corresponds with your junk.

    • Brendan_M

      And a trans woman that hasn’t had any surgical procedures should just open herself up to harassment and abuse in the penis-haver’s rooms because she’s outwardly a woman in appearance? I don’t think you’ve thought this through.

      • Mintie

        It’s a bugger of a problem. Especially since no public bathrooms have stalls.

      • No, he’s thought it through. He’s just an asshole.

  • major_asshole

    My boyfriend is transgender. And if he were to be forced to use the women’s restroom, id slip on a lovely ballgown and drop a dookie in the ladies’ room right next to him.

    Then we’d go home and make sweet love the end.

  • BearGHAZI

    Wouldn’t it MAKE SENSE if a transgender walked into a bathroom, and everyone shit themselves???

  • Bren

    How are they going to punish whoever took a shit and left it steaming in the Indiana legislature writing Palin bills?

  • handyhippie65

    like the nice transgender folks haven’t been using the toilet they want to for decades. why is it a problem all of a sudden?

    • jmk

      I’m thinking it’s all the non-traditional-gender-based nastiness they have left to impose after the Supremes made everybody get gay married last year.

      • BigBoppa

        Thanks Obama!!!!!!!!111!!

  • Bren

    So I’m guessing that the Trans anthem will now become…..Indiana wants me, Lord I can’t go back there.
    https://youtu.be/lDppeMt0FeQ

  • Bigby

    One time while taking a bus from Prague to Budapest, it stopped at a ‘rest area’. It was basically a 1 bus pavement spot, a tree, and what looked like a well. We menfolk made a circle around it for the biggest “cross the streams” party I’d, uh, been in up to that point? Also, sorry ladies (I think they were actually SOL until we got to the Hungarian border and a Mickey Dees). Anyway, the point is, WTF is *wrong* with these dainty flowers? I hate taking a crap at work only cuz no matter *when* I go I *never* get the place to myself, especially after eating at Kenny’s Chinese Food. THAT should be address by the lege. Also, too, not just China, Turkey, Burkina Faso, etc, I’ve been in bar/cafe/pub/clubs in frigging Paris and Madrid where it was “whoever’s next is next” (though to be fair, never “guy sitting on a toilet next to a woman”. CLOSE though!).

  • thewitchqueen74

    I don’t know what these right wing derpheads do when they use a public bathroom, but I’m trying to get in and out as fast as possible. I don’t take time to look and see if the other patrons in the restroom are whipping out their no-no parts and what particular no-no parts they are. I want to get the fuck out of there. Period.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      In all, conservatives really spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about genitals.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        And bathrooms. I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about genitals, but it’s the bathroom deal where we part ways.

  • chicken thief

    Why doesn’t Tomes just build a wall around Indiana, have the trans pay for it after rounding them up and deporting them to Kentucky, which seems slightly better in this regard, and then denying all trans people entry into the state. Just temporarily, ya know, until this all gets sorted out.

  • Olav_Pompatus

    So if it’s a biblical belief, we can kill them for eating bacon, and not have to worry about the State getting all interfering-y.

    • HenryKillinger

      Death penalty for any parent that refuses to stone their unruly children to death.

    • Dr. Krieger IRL

      Or executing people for blending fibers in clothing.
      If that were to happen, I’d be screwed since that’s all that hiking/backpacking gear is.

  • Mintie

    I still want to know how they can tell a transgendered person is using the wrong bathroom without violating multiple states’ peeping tom laws.

    • I’ve – no shit – heard them argue that your Sex As Assigned At Birth be printed on all government-issued ID and you’d have to show your ID to Bathroom Cops (not your actual junk).

      • Mintie

        You don’t even need a birth certificate to get a driver’s license, so how do they plan on enforcing that?

        • Left Coast Tom

          I think your mistake was with the word “plan”.

          • Mintie

            Did I overestimate their intelligence again? Goddamnit.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        But that’s not a nanny state at all, no no no

        • They’re consistent Marxists, in that Marxism argues that the state – any state – exists to enforce one class’s interests on another. Therefore, the purpose of state power is precisely to oppress THOSE BASTARDS OVER THERE, and to leave US GOOD FOLKS alone to do what we like.

      • Left Coast Tom

        That would have been even worse for Homer.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VvIXcH2Muw0

      • Dr. Krieger IRL

        “Bathroom Cop” is a huge promotion from “Bathroom Porter”.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Hey! Are you going to have to tip the bathroom cop the way you do the bathroom attendant? Goddammit!

      • danah gaz ❤??

        my state really doesn’t care for that sort of nonsense.

        I was born with a peen.

    • HazumuOsaragi

      how they can tell a transgendered person

      I don’t know; are you whited? Blacked? Asianed? Are you straighed or gayed? Liberaled or conservatived?

  • I AM R U

    This is just so disgusting and bigoted I can’t even find my snark.

  • Dr. Krieger IRL

    How about a separate restroom for intolerant jerks and then regular Men’s and Women’s restrooms for people to utilize however they identify?
    You could even have add fainting couches and pearl-clutching booths in the Intolerant Jerk rooms while the rest of us who aren’t transphobic can comfortably ignore said jerks.

    Problem solved.

  • YourNameHere

    I honestly can’t figure out why this is a thing anyone gives a fuck about in any way. It would never even occur to me to give a fuck about this. (I understand why this matters to transgender people of course and fully support their right to use whatever bathroom fits their gender identity or for more family bathrooms if that makes them feel more comfortable.)

    I just…what the hell do they think is going to happen if an actual man does go into the ladies room? Are we really this terrified of men existing? I’m creeped out by all implications of this campaign.

    • Andrea Jacobsen

      As you should be – hatred is very creepy

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Another first world problem they don’t have to worry about in Bundystan.

  • tza

    My question whenever someone’s like “I don’t want my daughter changing in the same room as a trans girl” (because they assume the trans girl has a penis) is…okay, so your daughter is a pervert who will be looking at the genitalia of others intently, why isn’t she the one getting banned from the locker room?

  • mtn_philosoph

    Well, there’s always the woods immediately adjacent to the side of the road, which is by far the most frequently-used public latrine in these parts.

Previous articleFox News: Armed White Militia Dudes Not Thugs Because Come On, You Guys
Next articlePresident Obama Cries Like A Drunk Ex-Speaker Over Dead Kids, What A Pussy