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Also, about that village we want to save...
Also, about that village we want to save…

Oh, what a grand way to start an election year! With a bunch of militia loons holed up in a federally owned building, in defense of convicted criminals, demanding to start a new American Revolution against federal tyranny! It’s this winter’s second-biggest sequel, starring three of Welfare Cheat Rancher Cliven Bundy’s sons, who along with an unknown number of armed supporters have occupied the headquarters of the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge near the town of Burns in eastern Oregon.

The militia guys are there to restore freedom by preventing the imprisonment of two local ranchers, Dwight Lincoln Hammond, Jr., 73, and his son, Steven Dwight Hammond, 46, who were convicted of arson on federal land. In 2001, the Hammonds set fire to 139 acres that they leased from the BLM for grazing, to cover up evidence of out of season hunting they’d been doing on the land; after losing an appeal, the Hammonds are supposed to report to prison Monday, January 4. And don’t you go calling this domestic terrorism, since they’re only trespassing, breaking and entering, and illegally occupying a federal building. So far. However, as Oregonian reporter Ian Kullgren notes, that could change:

oregon militia tweet 1

The Hammonds’ supporters insist that the BLM land was totally theirs to do with as they please, not the U.S. Government’s, because as the Bundy wackaloons argue in an online manifesto, the Constitution forbids the federal government from owning land, duh. Maybe no court has ever agreed with them, but it’s right there in the Constitution, if you look at it through your rifle scope just right.

Following a march by about 300 Hammond supporters in Burns Saturday, a portion of the marchers broke away from the “peaceful protest” and headed to the wildlife refuge:

They said they took over the refuge headquarters, which was unoccupied for the holiday weekend. They also have blocked the access road. Indications are that this has been planned for some time. Accounts of how many militia are at the refuge range from their own claims of up to 150 to accounts from reporters at the scene that there may be no more than 15.

Among the militia luminaries at the wildlife refuge are Ammon Bundy and two of his brothers, Mel and Ryan, plus several other wingnut celebrities:

Other key militia leaders have joined him, including Ryan Payne, an Army veteran from Montana involved in last year’s armed standoff in Nevada with federal agents; Blaine Cooper, an Arizona militiaman who also participated in the Nevada standoff, and Jon Ritzheimer, who made headlines last year for anti-Muslim rhetoric. Days before the refuge takeover, Ritzheimer posted what struck some as a farewell video to his family.

Yes, this Patriot sports a line from 'Annie' on his chesticles

Ritzheimer, you’ll recall, is the Patriot who organized the big Yell At A Mosque event in Phoenix last year, then tried to raise $10 million dollars to protect himself from killer Muslims or at least sell his motorcycle to buy guns (he later claimed his Facebook account had been hacked and he’d never tried to ask for money); more recently, he sent himself off on a Sovereign Quest to arrest and try for treason every Senator who failed to block the Iran nuclear deal, as one does. And now here he is on YouTube, tearfully pledging to give his life For America and the sacred principle that arson is OK if you say public land really belongs to you:

He’s so brave!

As he does every time he so much as buys a Snickers bar, Ritzheimer holds up a pocket copy of the Constitution and says he’s willing to die to defend it: “I am 100 percent willing to lay my life down to defend against tyranny in this country.” Remember, that’s the “tyranny” of two guys going to jail for five years for setting fire to 168 acres, endangering firefighters in the process, on federal land.

So what do the loonies want? Pretty much an end to the federal government owning land in the West, because the special version of the Constitution these guys have says that it can’t:

Ammon Bundy has said in several interviews that the occupiers want federal land returned to Harney County ranchers and loggers. They say the federal government has oppressed local people with its ownership and control of land. Payne and others have insisted that under the Constitution, the federal government has no legal right to Harney County land.

Bundy’s own thinking on the matter, as posted in a December 7 manifesto, is, to put it mildly, creative:

Let us go to article IV sec. 3 of the Constitution which states: The Congress shall have Power to dispose of and make all needful Rules and Regulations respecting the Territory or other Property belonging to the United States … This section of the Constitution grants Congress the power to make needful rules and regulations while the land is still a Territory (capital T) and grants Congress the power to dispose of the land. It does not grant unto congress the power to retain the land, only to dispose of it. This means that the federal government does not and never will OWN the land, which is a Territory. They can make the rules while it is a Territory, but they have the obligation, duty and authority to dispose of it. In other words, the people OWN the land and have charged the Federal government to be administrators until it can be disposed of.

So the part that actually says “Property belonging to the United States?” Just ignore that part. It’s probably about forts and stuff.

As of yet, the law enforcement response has been what you’d have to call “careful and muted,” seeing as how the building was unoccupied, nobody’s being held hostage, and while the militia guys reportedly have a generator and food, they’re not (yet) endangering anyone but their own fool selves. The Oregonian reports that since the occupation is on federal land, the FBI is in charge, with backup from the Harney County Sheriff’s Office and the Oregon State Police. Or at least they say it’s on federal land — show us where in the Constitution the government has the power to protect wildlife, huh? Here’s hoping the idiots don’t start tearing up protected wildlife habitat just to prove that We The People have dominion over migratory birds.

As to the media, it is being the media:

Screen Shot 2016-01-03 at 11.38.15 AM

Doesn’t that sound like a bunch of hippies held a candlelight vigil for some owls and shit?

Needless to say, Yr Wonkette will keep you up to date on the latest stupidity. In the meantime, you should probably all go buy guns, because everyone needs guns for the coming Revolution, don’t they?

[Oregonian / Oregonian again / Crooks And Liars / Crooks And Liars redux]

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  • jviscont1

    There is some federal property at Ft Leavenworth’s exercise yard that could use some occupying.

    • Sam Hain

      Yeah, these welfare queens obviously don’t have jobs and are already sucking on the gov’s teat,might as well round up the looneys.

      • HogeyeGrex

        I’d love to know how many of them are receiving SS disability payments.

    • Thepeoplevs.

      Just rename the wildlife refuge office a prison…
      Sure, the prisoners have guns, but they arent going anywhere

  • Joshua Norton

    Apparently the whole Bundy clan seems to have some issues.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      It’s called “being citizens of the actual United States”.

      • Robyn Ryan

        While stealing public property…..

      • xy

        i like being a citizen of the pretend United States. that way i can ignore physics as well as laws.

    • jviscont1

      I kinda liked Al and Peggy’s repartee. Bud was annoying, but, Kelly was hot.

    • RoyalUglyDude

      Including Ted.

      • mtn_philosoph

        But not McGeorge.

  • coozledad
    • lroom

      CNN has hit bottom I mean seriously WTF!?

  • DerrickWildcat

    The Yosemite Sam Family is at it again.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      They’re not the Elmer Fudd family, that’s for sure. As far as the ammosexuals are concerned, the Fudds are sellouts.

      • Robyn Ryan

        We’re here to inseminate your womenfolk…

        • coozledad

          Those annoying orange crotch stains. Is there any way to remove them without shooting your dick off?

        • folderol

          Please, no more of this guy.

  • nightmoth

    Hey, assholes, public land means I own it as much as you do, so GTF off my land!
    Also, pay up on those grazing fees you owe me AND the next time you hunt out of season I’ll do exactly what I do to the locals here in Georgia and call the game warden.

    • Anarchy Pony

      Sounds like communism which is automatically bad.

      • sw19womble

        Property is theft, Anarchy Pony! ;p

        • Anarchy Pony

          But if it’s federal land owned collectively by all americans, does it count as property?

          • eddi

            Yes. Federal property. For all to use as long as you follow the rules.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Given that none of them is a member of an indigenous North American group, it is supremely ironic that they’re defending “property rights” of property that was, for all purposes, stolen.

          • Anarchy Pony

            That shit’s always the funny part. If you reduce it hard enough it essentially means it’s okay for property to be acquired violently and therefore property rights are inherently meaningless.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            Property rights are something you need a state to enforce. These twits never seem to get that part. Franklin understood it very well.

          • Anarchy Pony

            And they don’t get that organizing a force to protect and manage property, they are a de facto state.

          • eddi

            The Great State of Fucksylvania!

          • HogeyeGrex

            They think all you need is guns. I’d really hate to have to live in any version of their ideal world. Every disagreement would need to be settled by one side being shot to death. Not much of a recipe for a functional society. Seems everybody would be too busy ducking and/or firing to do much in the way of producing anything.

            Spittin’ on the sidewalk? That’s a shootin’!

            Buncha fuckwits.

          • nightmoth

            HA! No kidding. Give the Black Hills back to the Sioux! And if they want to sandblast Mt. Rushmore, wtf.

    • jviscont1

      Where were the fathers?

      • willi0000000

        hiding behind the mothers and children . . . as they do.

    • Snopes Shop

      Like Ron Paul?

  • Villago Delenda Est

    You’ll notice that they took over the “federal buildings” of a friggin’ wildlife refuge.

    I’d love to see them try this shit at Fort Lewis. That would go over VERY well.

    • C’mon now…baby steps. They’re working up to that.

    • Nockular cavity

      Well, they did try taking over Fort Sumter last time, and that didn’t go well. Did get pretty messy before it was all over, though.

      • Werewolf

        Short term, they took over the fort. In the long term, not so successful.

    • Blueb4sunrise

      Hey, you think those wildlife managers aren’t tough!!? You try having a pair of binoculars hanging around your neck all day.

    • HogeyeGrex

      They didn’t even have the balls to take it over when it was open, fer Chrissake.

  • Joshua Norton

    Ritzheimer holds up a pocket copy of the Constitution and says he’s willing to die to defend it

    Of course, it would be nice if they could at least get the militia well-regulated part right, like the actual Constitution intended.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      A pocket copy of the Constitution which has never been read for comprehension.

    • eddi

      The reason the several states no longer have militias is that they were never “well regulated”. Poorly organized, to put it politely, by various rich folks as a combination ego booster and voting bloc most militias could barely march in step and their gear was the origin of the word “shoddy” a type of cheap cloth. Their muskets were cheap surplus or imports. Their training sessions were holiday booze-ups. After the start of the Civil War, these shining examples of total uselessness were sorted out and the survivors absorbed into regular Army units.

      • Billy Rubin

        This^ Is fascinating — thank you! Do you have further recommend reading on this topic?

        • eddi

          Sadly no. I picked the concept out of several history books that mention elements of what I said here. But I don’t know if someone has written a history of the original militias. A lot of histories of the War of 1812 rip on the militias as useless back then as well. Sidenote. The militia concept was never used by US naval forces. Officers and sailors and Marines were professionals.

    • Billy Rubin

      Reading it, OTOH, is a different matter.

  • diogenez
    • Villago Delenda Est

      One on the right needs a cross on it. To make the point jarringly clear.

      • Robyn Ryan

        And a baseball cap. All good Christian Bubbas wear baseball caps.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          A baseball cap with the logo of the Washington Racial Slurs NFL team.

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            Or “Make America Great Again”

          • bozilingus

            T-rump will airlift some in for them.

        • toomanyrappers

          A camo baseball cap.

    • Michael Rush
  • Count Awesome

    The name Ammon sounds kind of muslim-y. It would be irresponsible not to speculate

    • Villago Delenda Est

      It’s got an Old Testament ring to it. You know, the one devoted to the asshole deity.

    • coozledad

      Short for M’Ammon.

      • Robyn Ryan

        well played! Kiss the calf.

        • sw19womble

          That’s bullocks!

          • willi0000000

            notice how shiny they are . . . hand-rubbed like the horns i assume.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            Yep – by Japanese tourists, in particular. Go figure.
            (I have to detour around this monstrosity to get to my office.)

            http://chargingbull.com/images/biography/cb-above-opt.jpg

          • bupkus23

            Hey, those aren’t mine! – Jim J. Bullock

    • or a now extinct cephalopod.

    • Zippy

      Ammonsexuals

      • willi0000000

        i hope not.

      • LaylaOhGee

        He was probably named that because his mom refused to let dad name him Ammo.

    • ash310

      Here is what Wikipedia knows about the name. Very interesting reading, especially when you get to the part about Lot and his daughters :

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ammon

    • richardgrabman

      Kind of Mormony too… “According to the Book of Mormon, Ammon was a prominent Nephite missionary, and son of King Mosiah.
      He was originally opposed to the church but, along with his brothers
      and Alma the Younger, was miraculously converted. Following his
      conversion he served a mission to the Lamanites and converted Lamoni and
      his people.”

      • HogeyeGrex

        So he got a Lamon pledge?

  • sw19womble

    All this defending the Constitution! These guys must get awfully conflicted when it comes to the 18th and 21st Amendments regarding Prohibition.
    Which one of those do they defend to the death? The original amendment, or the one repealing it?

    • Zippy

      AOT,K

  • SayItWithWookies

    From the Slate article about this:

    When a Guardian reporter
    tried to enter the federal land shortly after the occupation began he
    was blocked from doing so by a man armed with an “AR-15-style rifle” who
    said the land belonged to the people. “This public land belongs to ‘we
    the people,’” he said. “We’ll be here enjoying the snow and the
    scenery.”

    Hey, Ammon Bundy and other white-supremacist gun nut dumbasses — if it belongs to the people, why are you forcing people from visiting it like they could do freely before you broke in and kept folks away?
    Also, isn’t Ammon a heathen name from Egyptian mythology?
    Also, why don’t you people have jobs?

    • ludicrousCommentary

      The Freeloader Rebellion

    • bupkus23

      Hmmm – blocking journalists from covering an event? Didn’t we have that a few weeks ago when that ( since resigned ) journalism professor tried to stop a videographer from filming protests at Mizzou? Didn’t that cause a rightwing shitstorm?
      Oh, no hypocrisy here – that was a white woman trying to block someone from filming anti-racism protests, but here we got white patriots blocking someone from reporting on their lawbreaking….
      Wingnuts never do have any original ideas…

    • Fragment Cotswolds

      Ammon– it’s a good old Bible name, and it starts with “Ammo”. Double word score. Although with the namesake being “son of Lot and Daughter whose descendants antagonized Israel for generations,” it’s a bit odd…

      • Snopes Shop

        I thought it was a combo of ammo and salmon

        • Fragment Cotswolds

          Now that’s just shooting fish in a barrel.

    • Michael Rush

      What part of ME ME ME did you think YOU were included in ?

      • HogeyeGrex

        They really are overgrown three-year-olds, aren’t they.

    • Sam Hain

      You know who else blocked reporters?

      • willi0000000

        the mad hatter?

    • Incoming Ham

      Well, Ammon is in Genesis and the product of incest between Lot and his younger daughter. Further on in ye olde bibble they are described as enemies of Israel and went to war with them on several occasions.

      So that’s fun.

  • Robyn Ryan

    Where are the black helicopters when you need them?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Patrolling Wal-Marts in Tejas.

  • Joshua Norton

    The only responsible thing to do now is to find out what religion these terrorists belong to and smear all members of it.

    • SayItWithWookies

      We should stop letting those people into the country — religion of peace my ass.

  • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

    I, Headless, am An Dumb. And here is how I know it, that I am An Dumb: Because I actually thought about posting the observation that the trespassers’ claim that the county is the basic unit of governance under the Constitution is plainly wrong. As in, remarkably, incredibly wrong. Like, it’s the states and the federal levels only in that thing. But to do so would involve me in a debate about constitutional theory with these fuckwits. Which is just so dumb to do. Might as well debate physics with someone who thinks they time-traveled from Venus circa 1342 to warn us about Steve Harvey’s Miss Universe fuck-up.

    • Robyn Ryan

      When States steal resident’s education….

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Well, you know, gravity is just a theory to these people. It’s in the realm of speculation.

  • jviscont1

    Now, if Kelly Bundy was in attendance, I might take a trip up there to meet her.

  • Count Awesome

    Nothing says loving your country like not understanding its laws apply to everyone.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Well, its laws do not apply to police officers in Ohio, for example, who shoot 12 year olds for being blah somewhere in the vicinity of a toy gun.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …ummmm, these assholes better Google “Branch Davidians” if they want an example of how well “sieges” with the FBI go

    • Ryan Denniston

      You see, the mistake the Branch Davidians made was they didn’t have enough guns, and probably no AR-15s, so this time, it’ll be totally different.

      • AngryBlakGuy

        …actually the Branch Davidians stockpiled enough weapons to invade a small country. That’s why they popped up on the radar of the ATF and FBI.

        • ahughes798

          That, and the child-raping.

          • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

            Up fisted for the avatar alone.

            But you also have an important point here also too.

          • Billy Rubin

            That, and the meth lab

    • A_Z_4

      I saw a comment elsewhere that speculated they want something to happen to show people that what they were saying was correct.

      But I also saw another comment saying that they don’t want something to happen, they just want to make a lot of noise, because they chose a minor building to occupy, empty on a holiday, in the middle of nowhere, knowing it was unlikely immediate action would be taken (unlike a federal building in an actual town).

  • Zippy

    stolen from wonkville (because our headlines are funnier®)

  • Fartknocker

    Phony, gunslinging, White domestic terrorist manchildren who behave as impotent fanboies of The Turner Diaries say what?

  • azeyote

    as far as the peaceful hippies are concerned – Gov. Rhodes called out the National Guard at Kent State, and Ohio State when all we did was take over the campuses, and burn draft cards – i was there it didn’t go well –

    • Zippy

      OWS on line one- they keep asking when will the firehoses and bulldozers arrive?

      • Anarchy Pony

        As soon as the mainstream media turns a blind eye.

      • BehaveYrself

        No snark: My daughter’s dorms were overtaken by NYPD when OWS started. The cops ate their food (on my parent-paid tuition), let their horses shit in student-housing courtyards, and literally pushed kids around while riding dorm elevators in full riot gear for weeks. That this band of yahoos with 6 teeth between them and not 9 inches of dick total has gotten this far without military-style police involvement is disgusting.

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      Jackson State was similarly invaded by Federal troops, troops then shot students.

    • toomanyrappers
  • Ryan Denniston

    Hmmm. If the Federal government bought a big chunk of the land from the French, fought a war with the Mexicans for another big chunk, and committed genocide against multiple nations to secure the rest, by golly, I think they can be looked at as the ones to decide who gets what.

    • PubOption

      They bought another chunk from the Russkies also,too. At one time, Sister Sarah could have seen Russia through every window of her house.

      • Beaumarchais?

        Putin wants it back, minus the Palins.

  • Ryan Denniston

    You know the FBI guys have to be rolling their eyes and laughing their asses off at these fools. Of course, they’re likely well armed fools, so that dampens the mood somewhat.

  • Spotts1701

    “This land is * BLAM BLAM BLAM* my land
    It’s not *RAT A TAT TAT* your land…”

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …and let’s not forget Black Lives Matter is branded a terrorist group by Faux news for standing on the sidewalk outside of a police station, while holding signs. BUUUUUT, these jack holes break into a federal building with weapons and proclaim they are willing to die and they are called “peaceful protesters”!!!!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Well, of course they’re a terrorist group, ABG. They have a melanin surplus!

    • Anarchy Pony

      The police protect property rights, the feds are preventing potential property from being exploited for maximum profit. See the difference?

      • sw19womble

        Seems pretty black and white to me.

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          ISWYD

        • Anarchy Pony

      • Redgyal

        Yes, only one group of USAmericans are allowed to exploit or own property for profit.

    • doktorzoom

      I’m kind of hoping they’ll show up to support the Bureau of Land Management, if only for the sake of the protest sign saying “BLM + BLM”

      • Anarchy Pony

        Acronym solidarity!

        • Zippy

          Letters of the world unite!

        • sw19womble

          AOT,K!

      • Zippy

        except they’d be immediately arrested, unlike anyone else involved with this story

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      • AngryBlakGuy

        …Faux News would lose their shit! They would probably claim that Bundy group feared for their lives and attempting to escape Black Lives Matter by hiding in the vacant building

      • Beaumarchais?

        Have you ever seen them in a room together? Just sayin’…

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        It’s especially effective if if you sound it out.
        BLM! BLM!

    • lroom

      According to CNN their not looting so not as dangerous as any other protest group. Most insane thing I’ve ever heard but okay.

      • Billy Rubin

        Please, they’re at a tender and impressionable age. Who among us hasn’t taken over a federal building and demanded 240 millions of acres of land be handed over to like-minded crackpots? Why, it’s a story as old as time.

      • blaid droog

        After 8 years of shrub and then the ongoing tea party movement that can’t possibly be the most insane thing you have ever heard.

        • lroom

          Your right I should have said heard that day.

    • A_Z_4

      Did they actually say that (both examples)?

      Surely the “peaceful protestors” part was at least referring to the original larger protest that had concluded earlier in the town and not the group that went off the wildlife refuge.

    • Little_Big_Tug

      Can’t we just zoom in there with some B-52s and lay down some skull-piercing anti-hypocricy bomblets?

  • RoyalUglyDude

    We The People have dominion over migratory birds

    We’re gonna need a higher wall (and make the birds pay for it).

    • sw19womble

      Coming over here, stealing our wetlands!

      • bozilingus

        Damn Canadian geese!

  • tehbaddr

    YallQaeda!

  • crunchyknee

    It would be funny if some Navajo occupied their fat white asses off the land.

    • Emily Sieger

      except the Navajo don’t live within a thousand miles of Oregon. If you’re going to import some natives, the Lakota would be a better choice for kicking ass …

      • Villago Delenda Est

        The Lakota are on the east side of the Rockies.

        No, need some Nez Perce, or Umatillas, or Kalamaths, or Modocs.

        • SisterArtemis

          Set some Grandmother’s on their asses – that’ll teach ’em

        • ahughes798

          Paiutes, too!

          • Villago Delenda Est

            Yeah, the area around Burns is PRIME Paiute country.

    • Zippy

      the Navajo are having a hard enough time keeping the uranium mines from ruining their land

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Apaches and copper mines also too.

        • theCryptofishist

          Resolution Libullsz!!!1

  • WiscoJoe

    They’ll surrender once the meth runs out.

  • Bad Granny

    I am home alone for the first time in weeks. I have a plate of still warm cookies and a fresh pot of coffee. I would like to enjoy them while listening to the news, but these fuckers just gotta mess with my day.

    • Brendan_M

      That’s why they invented podcasts, for when the news is too annoying. But I’m stealing the rest of your plan.

  • SessileRaptor

    And their whole conflict with the BLM basically comes down to them wanting to overgraze and otherwise shit all over the land until they turn it into a Mad Max style wasteland, and the BLM trying to stop them.

    • Anarchy Pony

      They want all the freedom and none of the responsibility.

    • WiscoJoe

      But if we lived in a Mad Max wasteland, they’d be kings!

      • SessileRaptor

        Everyone thinks they’d be Immortan Joe, nobody thinks that they’ll be skull #532 on the pile.

        • RevZafod

          What a day! What a lovely day!!1!

    • Zippy

      Why can’t we destroy other people’s stuff for profit?

      • Vegan and Tiara

        Go back to Russia, you libtard!

      • HogeyeGrex

        Funny how they actually sound like the “collectivists” if you listen to them.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The BLM is worried about the long term. The Bundys are worried about the current fiscal quarter.

      • SessileRaptor

        Exactly, and I feel like there’s an argument to be made that if you can’t ranch or farm in an area without causing it to turn into a desert, maybe you shouldn’t be ranching there.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          I’m sorry to keep saying this over and over, but why do you hate America?

          • SessileRaptor

            I hate their Freedumb.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            And their Freedumb hates you.

        • ahughes798

          Yep. Sheep and cattle and horses are not native wildlife, they don’t graze like native wildlife, and they effectively ruin the range. That’s why they’re supposed to be moved every so often, but that costs time, and time is money. Thank Jah there ARE good ranchers out there who do rotational grazing. But I am bummed that I cannot wish ill on these cretins in the full flower of my expression here in the comments. Because my wishes for these seditionists….they are VICIOUS.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        The Bundys are worried about getting free shit.

    • Spotts1701

      I am still outraged that, when one of Cliven Bundy’s cows got loose and wandered onto a highway causing an accident that seriously injured 2 people, he had the stones to claim that the state should have been held responsible since they didn’t maintain the fence.

      • SessileRaptor

        Back when I was a kid my parents owned a hobby farm, and the asshole who’s land bordered ours on one side was like that, it was never his fault that his cows got out, always someone else’s. Like the farmers who bordered him on other sides were all “God, Frank is such an asshole about the fence lines, don’t let him get to you.”

      • Vegan and Tiara

        He should join forces with the AIG dipshit, Hank Greenberg, who was suing the federal government because they bailed out his bankrupt company.

        I’m not making this up: http://www.businessinsider.com/hank-greenberg-aig-lawsuit-win-2015-6

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      The welfare ranching is strong in this bunch.

  • lucidamente

    I’ll take white privilege for $200, Alex.

    • Ä Ğrümpy Çät

      Oh hey, it’s the Daily Double!

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Every time.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …this is possibly the dumbest group shit for brains in North America! So the government can’t “own land”?! Does that mean I can go out to federal highway and did it up for shits and giggles?! Or maybe I should go to the local VA hospital and burn it down?!

    • Zippy

      Pssst, you’re a blah guy- they shoot people like you for burning things

      • Rick Hill

        Or other high crimes against the State. Looking menacing, walking down the street, being in their private residence….

        • Zippy

          buying a BB gun at Wallyworld

          • Rick Hill

            Melanin overproduction is high on the list.

      • HogeyeGrex

        And vice-versa.

    • Wait…this means we can go to the VA Hospital and take all the medicine! Finally, universal healthcare!

  • RoyalUglyDude

    In 1980, Ronald Reagan made common cause with these loons by declaring “I am a Sagebrush Rebel,” and it didn’t hurt his campaign one bit. Brace yourselves for the stampede of 2016 candidates who will no doubt rush to embrace them like this season’s Kim Davis.

    • Zippy

      fuck that asshole, he gave legitimacy to the land grab for rich people that masqueraded as a state’s rights issue

      • Villago Delenda Est

        One of the many things that mark the shitty grade Z movie star’s reign as the beginning of the decline of America.

        • Vegan and Tiara

          I’m pretty sure that “Downfall of the American Empire” will begin with the sentence “In 1980 the majority of Americans who voted thought that electing a B movie actor with unproven economic theories would be a grand experiment.”

    • Ghost Buggy

      They gotta be vomiting with joy over this. Obama has to deal with it, and anything he does they’ll disapprove of and also, too, tag Clinton with, “you can’t be Prezzident, ’cause look at what your gay boyfriend Obama done to those ranchers, and you’d love it so much!” And the icing on the cake is it’ll all be wrapped up way before the election.

      • Nockular cavity

        Fine by me, because these clowns are despised by pretty much everyone outside of the Teabaggers.

  • folderol

    Initiate a toilet paper blockade around the refuge!

  • OddMan

    My snark level is off the charts, as I am mostly angry at these White ass “armed militias. They should not have let them get away with the Bundy standoff and now this one. I know everyone has heard this said, but can you imagine if this were 15 black and brown armed men taking over a Federal site?

    I am letting my anger control my thinking, but I want them all hauled off to the Federal prison, and if it takes a huge SWAT team and tanks, so be it.

    Sorry, this chaps my Odd arse.

    • BeachLoafer

      Anyone with two brain cells to rub together could see this coming when the Bundy brigade were allowed to walk. Hopefully the gummint won’t repeat that mistake.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Shoulda FEMA’d these asswipes when they had the chance.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      OTOH, these asswipes want a bloody standoff so they can claim they’re victims of a cruel, oppressive government. I’m guessing most of them will give up quite quickly if it comes down to an actual gun battle.

    • HogeyeGrex

      but can you imagine if this were 15 black and brown armed men taking over a Federal site?

      That’s how California got gun control.

  • Treg.Brown

    Dear Barry Bamz My President,

    I’m hoping to see boots and muskets on the ground soon. Looking for that ROI on my meager tax dollars, and perhaps put the “well regulated” part back into the 2nd amendment.

    All my best,

    Treg

    • lucidamente

      How about drone strikes and mocking laughter from Old Handsome Joe Biden?

      • Treg.Brown

        Every day is brighter when someone mentions Old Handsome Joe.

  • cousin itt

    The al-Bundy terrorist group mean to establish a constitutional Sovereign Territory Under Protection In Dispute with free beer for all members of the STUPID.

  • Incoming Ham

    “In other words, the people OWN the land and have charged the Federal government to be administrators until it can be disposed of.”

    “The people” who have firstees over that land are the Paiute Indians (other tribes fought with them for it.) This ever-loving ray of sunshine should at least crack open the Wikipedia.

    After that, these numbnuts are stealing from *us* the People. Us, the taxpayer. The only “people” they are concerned with are themselves and their 19th century delusions of grandeur, getting free stuff, and doing anything on a whim with no consequences.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      That’s also not what “disposal” means in the 18th century context. To dispose of something in the way the Founders would have understood means to use it; the phrase “I’m at your disposal” means “use me/my talents,” not “stuff me down a garbage chute”.

      • Incoming Ham

        There you go with your facts and thinkin. (my reply was a literal one to his “creative interpretation”.)

        • Vegan and Tiara

          That pointy headed intellectual thinks he’s better than us!

      • HogeyeGrex

        not “stuff me down a garbage chute”.

        That depends on your talents.

  • bozilingus

    When the time comes for the need to take up arms against these clowns, I will just take a gun from one of their freshly deceased corpses (courtesy of little ol’ me). I may have to use votes to do it, but I guarantee those votes will carry some weight.

  • gingerland62

    Losers with guns, it’s the new American fad. Some kids grow up and realize that Halo is just a game.

  • The irony is that one of the earliest US Supreme Court decisions related to property held that a white settler couldn’t legally buy land from Native Americans because *the federal government* owned *all* unclaimed land in the United States.

    Of course that decision was made because of colonialism, but still, if these guys are going to be strict Constitutionalist originalists, etc, you’d think they’d hold it in high esteem.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Their understanding of the Constitution is that of cargo cultists, as coozledad quite astutely points out in an earlier comment.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Assumes facts not in evidence, i.e., that they can read or understand the actual words.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      You’re forgetting that when America is ruled by a Kenyan Muslim dictator, albeit even one who wears mom jeans, no laws apply to white people. It’s in the Bible, look it up!

  • Jan Ness

    Wait til they find out there’s no pizza or beer delivery!

    • Lancelot Link

      They’ve already sent out requests for snacks (to be delivered through the US Postal Service).

  • Duke

    Powerfully taped in the front seat of his vehicle.

    He’s looking for that sense of righteous purpose we had in the military. He’s going to lay down his life for the right to graze cattle as a man sees fit? You can do better.

    Something for all that laser-focused passion…that doesn’t involve fondling a gun.

    • Treg.Brown

      I propose “End hunger in his town”.
      It’s what the Jeebs would have wanted.

    • AnOuthouse

      Graze cattle in a desert. Because ‘brilliant, why didn’t we think of that’?

  • Pinkham’s Law

    I really would like to get a copy of the Constitution that these people want to protect, because it sure isn’t the one I’m familiar with.

    • Rick Hill

      They sell a pocket version. One amendment: I have a gun and I’m white so what I do is okey dokey.

      • Vegan and Tiara

        Second Amendment: Black president plus activist judges = I get to make up my own laws.

    • jmk

      It’s the Unicornstitution.

  • lucidamente

    “I am 100 percent willing to lay my life down.” Fine with me.

    • Ghost Buggy

      The bad news for them is, so is the fleet of robot death drones at the command of the federal government.

    • “I am 100 percent willing to lay my life down.” Fine with me.

      Indeed. Carry on, my wayward son.

    • BeachLoafer

      Could he please just get it over with, and clean up the mess afterward also too, so I and my fellow taxpayers don’t have to foot the bill?

  • Well now…between this and Barry allegedly planning to just executive order their guns away, I predict a real tsunami of shit stupid coming our way. A Derpami, if you will.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      A Derpnado!

      • Major_Major_Major

        Pantshitapalooza?

        • riledupone

          Shartnado?

          • WIDTAP

            When the shart really hits the fan.

    • Rick Hill

      Yeah…looks like that’ll be the case. We won’t know just how bad till Turnip lets us know his stance on the situation.

      • Agreed. We need to be patient and see what will turn up.

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        I went to a Sovereign Citizen sit-in and it turned into a Trump rally.

    • SpideySenser

      Derpicane!

    • nightmoth

      My plan is to make a knight-suit of armor out of extra absorbent Depends–absorbent side out—all over my body! Then I’ll wade into comment sections.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Dear doG, yes . . . if Wonkette does a column on Tzar Obama’s gun-grabbing plan, they’ll have to advise us not to bother posting at all, so Dok can just flush the accumulated shit every 20 minutes. (Not allowing comments – which aren’t allowed – would just encourage the Shit-Fer-Brains crowd to pollute other threads.)

    • Lemmy Caution

      I believe the term is Shitnado, if Jim Lahey is any credible guide.

  • doktorzoom

    A word from your Friendly Neighborhood Comment Moderator: Might be a good time to review the rules. Please, no calls for airstrikes, A-10 strafing runs, arson, or bear attacks. It being wintertime, we suppose that veiled references to the Donner Party and Alferd Packer will be considered, but only if they actually make us laugh.

    • Anarchy Pony

      Oh come on! No wishing for bear attacks? Tyranny!

      • Zippy

        they can’t even beat the Lions

      • WE DEMAND THE RIGHT TO ARM BEARS

      • Latverian Diplomat

        No wishing indigestion on innocent bears!

        • Anarchy Pony

          I’m sure the bears will digest them just fine.

        • Naytch

          They’re too smart, already sleeping the winter away…

    • Villago Delenda Est

      How about pony attacks? Are those OK?

      • Anarchy Pony

        Okay? They’re adorable!

    • Sheepshagger

      Prion libel!

    • Can I be pro-cholera in this particular instance?

      • Ä Ğrümpy Çät

        Pro-typhoid OGFTO.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Can’t you just edit our comments when we stretch the rules?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Please, have some mercy on Dok. Editing comments takes a lot more effort (and he’s making enough effort already, thank yew very mucho) than just tossing them in the bit bucket.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          To whom much is given, much is expected.

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          I would rather he delete any comment of mine outside the rules. I don’t want anyone editing things. Warn me once please (thanks Dok) to remind me where I am. If I make a habit of it, ban me. I take full responsibility for what I write.
          I would hate for this safe space to turn into the swamp Politico became. The Mods there got so frustrated that they dropped Disqus for Facebook.

          • A_Z_4

            What advantages are there of using Facebook comments instead of Disqus? (I don’t use Facebook at all).

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            Very difficult to set up sock puppets or aliases.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            Not that hard – I have one. Comes in handy on some websites; they can send all the spam they want to my non-existent friends.

    • Please, no calls for airstrikes, A-10 strafing runs, arson, or bear attacks.

      Well, OK. If you insist. Because those first two, though…

    • Rick Hill

      But the freedom to call for bear attacks is in the constitution!!11!

      • Villago Delenda Est

        There is something in there about the right to arm bears.

        • Rick Hill

          Right there in black and parchment color!

        • I blew coffee out my nose on this, g-dammit.

      • Markuserektus

        Where’s Yogi when we need him?

        • nightmoth

          High five!

    • lucidamente

      Got it, Dok. Biden’s mocking laugter is not something to kid about.

    • dslindc

      Army of squirrels ok though?

    • jviscont1

      Ever the partisan, I would remind everyone Alferd once ate all the Democrats in Hinsdale county in a fit of voter suppression rage.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      I noticed you said nothing about sharks with freakin’ lasers on their heads, or even radioactive salmon.

      • 451 Byrnes

        What about tempermental bass?

    • SayItWithWookies

      Sheeit, there won’t be any need for violence — all the feds gotta do is cut off their cable and I guarantee they’ll surrender the Saturday before the Super Bowl. Hell, they could probably lure them all out with a bucket of wings and a case of Coors Lite.

    • Spotts1701

      I prefer sonic warfare. Find the loudest speakers you can get, point ’em at the building, and give them 24-hour non-stop Polka music. That’ll get them out.

      • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

        No, recordings of Tibetan monks doing that droning chant/throat singing thing. Of course this might also cause the local wildlife some distress

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        This is still a wildlife refuge. I don’t think refugees should be exposed to that noise. Even if they are used to the wild life, they are in a refuge.

      • doktorzoom

        I’m thinking there’d be some 8th Amendment issues there

      • HogeyeGrex

        Rap. Definitely rap.

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      Gotcha Dok. My bad.
      Since they have occupied a Federal building, just encircle them and wait. They will run out of Slim Jims and Nehi before the FBI.

    • Ä Ğrümpy Çät

      I only encouraged the local bears to engage in a “peaceful protest” down there.

      If the bears misunderstood, I think that’s the liberal media’s fault.

    • TheBidenator

      But a bear chasing Jon Ritzheimer would be HI-LARIOUS….oh, alright.

      • doktorzoom

        Given that the bear would take one look at his chest tattoo and say, “You’ve got a quote from ‘Annie’ on your chest? You’re kidding, right?” I’m gonna let this one go.

        • MsAnthropesMr

          I wondered if I was the only one who noticed that. Annie? Really? I suppose musical theater appeals to everyone.

          • theCryptofishist

            Yeah, maybe John Wilkes Booth from Assassins…

        • toomanyrappers

          Annie?… Huh.

          I would have expected a Honey Boo Boo quote.

    • 451 Byrnes

      “Help! Help! I’m being Oppre…Dok Zoom is the best moderator on the InterWebs!”

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      What about inviting them to a dinner party with ZZ Packer?

    • toomanyrappers

      Can I send in that creepy Aphex Twin bear?

      • doktorzoom

        Sure. But not the MultiBear from Gravity Falls. He is a sensitive soul.

  • SisterArtemis

    Keee-hrist! This Oregonian is mighty glad there’s a mountain range between me and this particular crop of wingnuts, but YIKES!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Yah, moi aussi. It’s nice to live in the sane zone of the Beaver State.

      • lucidamente

        Heh, heh, beaver, heh, heh.

        • Markuserektus

          As Euell Gibbons used to say: “Many parts are edible.”

      • Tess

        “It’s nice to live in the sane zone of the Beaver State.” There is one? I think all of our state has a resident population of nut jobs, just of varying flavors.

        Whatever you do, don’t eat the green ones.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          West of the Cascades, Eugene and points north.. Yes, there are pockets of loons (Gresham, anyone?) in that area, and Marion County is sort of schizo, but for the most part, that’s the sane zone.

          • Tess

            Mmmm, I lived in Portland for 28 years and I think you are giving some of the left-wing nutjobs too much of a pass here. Granted they don’t tend to be armed, which is a HUGE plus for them.

          • eddi

            If all they do is write lengthy rants in Willamette Week I can handle it.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Would it suffice if I just buy a water pistol, do you think? I live fairly far from Oregon.

    • Spotts1701

      You shoot to drown, then?

    • zerosumgame0005

      only if you fill it with vodka!

  • Ghost Buggy

    When I was a kid, “Oregon Trail” was just about broken wagons and dying of dysentery. Now you’ve got to take over federal buildings and illegally let your cattle graze just wherever. Kids today.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Computer-based-education turned into first person shooters so gradually we didn’t even notice.

      • Ghost Buggy

        “Grand Theft Auto 6: Los Bundy.”

  • Joshua Norton

    Can somebody tell Bundy to burn a CVS so we can get some better coverage???

    • Sheepshagger

      Nobody messes with the Bundy boys Oxy supply.

    • dslindc

      They’d still be “peaceful protesters” on Fox, because white.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Damn, I wish I had the Funyuns and Bud Light concession for this party. I’d be rolling in the bitcoin and gold promissory chits right now!

  • You might be a domestic terrorist moron if even the criminals you’re trying to get out of their extended sentence are all, “Nah, we cool.”

  • YayConspiracy

    I prefer Mel and Kim over Mel and Ryan:

    https://youtu.be/ykDsmAqExH8

  • tehbaddr

    Such true patriots! Defending the Constitution with their guns and seizing federal land also.

  • Gorillionaire

    These white armed seditionist types sure do have alot of, um, free time.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      Ironically, they all collect checks from the evil, tyrannical government that they hate, since most of them are retired military and/or olds who collect Social Security. They should really send back their evil government checks as a collective protest.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Don’t forget the faked-injury disability cases, and those simply too stupid to hold a job.

      • SuspectedDemocrat

        Will the evil tyrannical government be able to forward their checks to the standoff? What’s the form for that?

        • Markuserektus

          Std. OU812…in triplicate :P

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          LOL – the government should halt their automatic deposits, and do exactly that.

    • BeachLoafer

      What I’ve always wondered is where all these ~losers~ patriots come up with the fortune they must have to spend on their own personal armories

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Other than the weed and meth dealing, you mean?

      • Markuserektus

        They don’t pay the fees/taxes they owe…

    • natoslug

      There’s a reason why us whities are the majority beneficiaries of programs like SNAP. Fighting for America against the tyranny of America is full-time job, doncha know?

      • Markuserektus

        One comment I read allowed that they are full time ‘ranchers.’

        • zerosumgame0005

          is that what the kids are calling it these days?

          • Msgr_Moment

            Scruffy derp herders.

          • kaw143

            Laugh it up, fuzzball.

        • natoslug

          Derp ranchin’ is a full time job as well.

          • HogeyeGrex

            Raising it up. Waxing it down.

          • theCryptofishist

            Sex Farm Rancher…

      • theCryptofishist

        Fighting for America against the tyranny of America funded by America is full-time job, doncha know?

        FIFY

  • Sheepshagger

    Well first they came for the Arsonists, and I said derp herp a derp. Because I’m Al Bundy?

    • JH Marx

      Even Al Bundy is a better human than these fuckers.

      • eddi

        Al was just Sad Sack in civvies.

  • dslindc

    They seem nice.

    • eddi

      Bless their hearts.

  • Vegan and Tiara

    These are the same morons who applaud when Hucksterbee wants to send in tanks to take over Planned Parenthood clinics. I wish the “liberal” media would ask these fine patriots how they feel about ladies having sovereign rights over their own bodies?*
    *That’s different!!!!!11!!!! because of “reasons” and God also too.

    • Markuserektus

      Those MRA Hessians probably don’t take questions about women.

    • BigHorn

      They’re the same shitbirds that show up at the other kind of BLM protest, nowhere near their home/still and complain about the protesters on the other side not being locals. They’re definitely not all that bright. This little kerfuffle is rife with examples of their rampant hypocrisy and complete lack of knowledge of any sort, much less constitutional and whatnot.

      • Vegan and Tiara

        Alas, the morons are starting to outnumber us.

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    Also, too, I heard the flag in the office they occupy is an Admiralty Flag, used only during wartime. This proves that the building was actually a gaurd tower for an underground FEMA camp. The fact that it was empty over the weekend just proves how lazy Federal Workers now.
    /s/

    • tehbaddr

      FEMACAMPLIEBELZ11!1!!1!11

    • zerosumgame0005

      probably has a tunnel to a Walmart also to!

      • Msgr_Moment

  • fawkedifiknow

    Drone their dumb asses.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      …with votes! Just as an example of Obama’s feckless weakling prerogative.

      • Send a drone in, but it doesn’t have weapons, just buzz them and annoy them, and they’ll freak out and pull out guns to shoot it down, thus wiping each other out. Problem solved without violence!

        • zerosumgame0005

          and put up speakers droning Nugent “songs” at high volume all night. see if they want that cat scratch fever after that!

  • Joshua Norton

    Other key militia leaders have joined him

    So what we have here? Y’all Queda?

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    What I wouldn’t give to fly a toy drone over this well-regulated militia during their kegger tonight….see some pants-crapping patriots crying for their mommies.

  • freakishlystrong

    It would be nice when then republican candidates ,whom are running to be in charge of the tyrannical Federal Govrrnment, rush to support this horseshit, are asked to square this nonsense. Exceot, of ciurse, they won’t be. The media will be blaming the Clintons.

    • Zippy

      Bundghazi

  • YayConspiracy

    Jon Ritzheimer is a narcissistic prick, who thinks his ideas of the constitution is enough to leave his family alone over Christmas and New Year’s. I hope his wife is getting a good lawyer.

    • Markuserektus

      Or a nice sidepiece…

      • jmk

        I hope a nice Secret Service person interviews her about her husband’s latest stupidity and they realize they’re soulmates, and she leaves ol’Jon for a federal agent.

        • Msgr_Moment

          I hope she’s cute — the agent, that is.

    • Iam Reading

      Gives her ampl
      e opportunity to bang a guy.with an actual peen, not a gunshop purchased substitute for a peen

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Good plan, rubes! Because armed insurrection always ends so well for the rebels – just look at how the Federal Government crumbled away to dust at the feet of Timothy McVeigh, the Branch Davidians, and the Ruby Ridge fellers.
    Wait, what?

    • The people who occupied Fort Sumner, also too!

    • bozilingus

      They must all be Star Wars fanboys, also, too.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        “If only the Rebels had gone after the Tattoine Womp Rat Wilderness Area, instead of the Death Star, Grand Moff Tarkin would have given into their demands immediately. A classic blunder in the series, if you think about it.”

      • Msgr_Moment

        Little did you suspect that the thermal port to the whole goddamn US of A is located in the basement of that Visitor’s Center. Just pray they don’t figure out which key opens the door.

  • Joshua Norton

    If nothing else, they should at least try to starve them out. See how long their “patriotic” zeal lasts with supplies cut off.

    • Beaumarchais?

      Donner Family—Party of Ate!

  • Jennifer R

    Cut the utilities, put the local cell towers on emergency mode, fill the citizen bands with noise, can we block sat phones? Blockade the building in such a way that every window opens out to a show of force. Destroy any external generators with anti material rounds. Give them a week to eat their supplies and burn all the furniture to not freeze at night (it was below zero there over night). Then one dark hungry cold 3am fill the building with all the tear gas. Problem solved.

    • Tess

      I’ve been to the Malheur Field Station at the Refuge many times. Really all you have to do is withhold sales of bug spray in the spring and they will be OUT of there.

      Sigh. Oregon has lately been infested with these out-of-state armed whack-a-loons lately. There are still a few hanging out in Jo Co, I think. They weren’t wanted by the people they were “protecting” there, either.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Josephine is such a shit hole. Home of Art Robinson. Coincidence? I think not!

        • Anarchy Pony

          Fuck that guy. DeFazio all day every day.

      • Egret1

        So we may have to rely on patriotic mosquitos to get rid of these people?

  • natoslug

    This looks like a perfect opportunity for the President to disprove the right’s claim that he is weak on terrorism.

  • homitsu

    LEOs or whoever’s out there are actually letting Y’all Qaeda resupply & bring in KIDS.

  • Ants In My Eyes Johnson

    I hope they forgot to bring enough food, and end up having to call off their “protest” early.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      How could they possibly have bought enough pork rinds? They’ll be begging to be let out before the playoffs.

      • Msgr_Moment

        The Feds should set up a YOOOGE BBQ just upwind of the compound.

  • cousin itt

    From deep inside their orificial bunker can be heard defiant shouts of, “Constipation Without Laxatation!”

  • gullywompr

    These comeback tours are always so pathetic.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    The Bundy spawn are exhibit A in the most persuasive argument for a eugenics and forced sterilization program I could concoct..

    • therblig

      i think naming them “Eugene” would make them even meaner.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Sue. Name them Sue.

  • TheBidenator

    how much does anyone want to bet that there is at least one copy of the Turner Diaries being passed around by these loons right now?

    • Anarchy Pony

      One? That’s optimistic.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      It’s called “literacy class”.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      They imagine they’re going to be the martyrs who will spark the Aryan Revolution against the mud people who control ZOG. And I am Tsar of all the Russias.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I’m the King of Fredonia.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          I’m the Sheik of Agrabah. Yerbouti’s the name.

    • willi0000000

      sucker bet . . . no thanks.

    • therblig

      maybe on tape

  • TheBidenator

    what we have here is a failure to communicate….

  • TheBidenator

    The plan of these morans:

    Today, the visitors center….tomorrow the world!

  • r m reddicks

    Is disney involved with this?

    • Msgr_Moment

      You did not see Kylo’s heartfelt video to his family above?

  • AntiDerpomeme

    They say they are prepared for the long haul, so presumably their levels of Funyuns, Cheese-whiz and Bud Lite Ice Dry are as well-stocked as their bang-bang supplies. I do hope they brought adequate numbers of women and children as front-line defensive shields should any be needed. And TP and Axe Body Spray because it’s gonna get nasty up in there with no showers and limited toilets. Ew.

    • Steverino247

      TP for my bunghole?

      • AntiDerpomeme

        Cornholio, is that you?

        • Steverino247

          ARE YOU THREATENING ME?

  • willi0000000

    short siege:

    1. cut off all utilities – gas, elec, phone, etc.

    2. surround the place so no resupply

    3. searchlights all night to mess with night vision equipment.

    4. snipers to enforce “you don’t step out the door unless surrendering and you don’t go to your car” – no fatalities needed . . . shooting out a bunch of tires (or engine blocks) might also be helpful.

    5. break most of the windows – below zero weather takes care of the rest

    no assault, tear gas, drones, etc. needed . . . no fatalities unless they shoot first.

    [ or just send in the people like SEAL teams in the wee hours . . . not a sound until they radio out to pickup of the hogtied assholes . . . again, no fatalities ]

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Play the muslim call to prayer five times a day, and let apoplexy take its toll.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      6. Cheetos blockade.

      • Treg.Brown

        Geneva conventions libelz!!1!ELEVENTY

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      #3 is a winner. Focus high-intensity beams on the windows, and you can stroll right up to the building. Makes it hard to sleep, also too.
      And put a few slugs into their generator, which they’ll have to run outdoors.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “The power to dispose of ” is not the “requirement to dispose of”. In other words, the Federal government can sell or give away land and other assets. It does not have to do this, it just can.

    Case dismissed.

    • kaw143

      Also, too, those pesky conjunctions in there. The Founding Fathers probably intended to edit out the “and” and “or” BUT THEY WERE DEFEATED BY LIBTARDS, FIRST!

  • bozilingus

    I hope the Feds surround the site and make no effort to bring them out. Shut off all power and water, if possible. Send drones over periodically, noisy ones at night. Play loud commercials, mainly food restaurants. (This siege sponsored by Wendy’s!) Just wait them out.

    • AnOuthouse

      Drones are resignation to be quiet. Use biplane crop dusters.

      • frrolfe

        Bagpipes for the win!!!

        • jmk

          Does anyone have the number of a bagpipe-accordion band that specializes in polkas? They’d be perfect for this gig.

          • Dudleydidwrong

            God, you guys are evil and cruel! Waterboarding is a day at the water park compared with bagpipes at 3 AM.

            Make sure that the pipers are just at the learning stage. Same for the accordion players.

          • Beaumarchais?

            Pipers are always at the learning stage—there’s nothing higher.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            That would be Weird Al.

          • jmk

            YES!

        • riledupone

          Didgeridoos will do it, too, also.

      • YEVGENYTHERASKOLNIK

        I would recommend placing a surplus huey about 1 mile away and starting it up every few hours.

  • clubseal

    These fucking idiots can fuck right off. Without votes.

  • Ä Ğrümpy Çät

    Obama, could you please FUCKING TAKE THEIR GUNS ALREADY? They already think you’re doing it. They already say you’re doing it. JUST FUCKING DO IT.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      Honestly, on top of losing the right to vote or buy a hand gun when convicted of these many felonies, they ought to get a life wearing a lowjack sentence on top of other sentences just so we know where they are at or if they are congregating and violating conditions of parole.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    It’s says right there in the Bill of My Rights Amendment 99 I haves the right to burn federal wild life refuges and get bonus points for breaking and entering and posing a public safety threat.

  • Vegan and Tiara

    Cowliban Terrorists Strike Again!…is a headline I will never see in the NYPost.

  • ibwilliamsi

    Thank goodness the Wonkette doesn’t allow comments, because I’d be sure to get in trouble for violating the rules on this one.

    • frrolfe

      If the Wonkette doesn’t allow comments, how can there be commenting rules? Huh? Explain that, smarty-pants!

      • theCryptofishist

        It’s very meta. And a little recursive.

      • ibwilliamsi

        Curses! Foiled again!

  • lucidamente

    All this needs is a visit / recorded message / shout-out fart from Donald Trump.

    • FauxAntocles

      He’s the greatest negotiator ever, he should be there.

  • Swampgas_Man

    Cops shot 1199 people last year. Lets <strikeshoot vote these fuckers out right now, I’m sick of ’em.

    • Msgr_Moment

      In a land that’s known as freedom
      How can such a thing be fair?
      Won’t you please come to Chicago
      For the help that we can bring

    • Anarchy Pony

      It goes words
      but without the spaces.

  • Iam Reading

    You know what these welfare queen, violent, thug, takers need? A fucking job. Know what real men dont have time for, this stupid ass cops and robbers bullshit. Grow up you dickless twerps.

    • Msgr_Moment

      You forgot to say, “Hippy communists!”

      • Burlywug

        Well, on of the Bundy spawn DID refer to the building as “the people’s facility”. So I’d guess they’re probably horrible socialist communo-fascists.

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        I think the origonal Charlie Daniels line is “Hippy type Pinko Commie Fags.” But this crew is more like John Birchers on Meth.
        They say they have provisions, but I’d be surprised is the numbers shrink to 7-8 by next weekend. Field toilets frequently lead to dysentary, even in cold weather.

        • Pinkham’s Law

          “He’s one of them long haired hippie type pinko fags,” actually.

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            “I bet you he’s even got a Commie flag,
            Tacked up on the wall of his garage”
            Thank you for the correction. Much of the 70s are hard to remember.

  • JohnR

    Cheezus, Ritzheimer trying to read from his notes that are probably written in crayon in his best Palineze, FFS. Is it OK to call people retarded or not? Enforce the Constitution, yeah remember the Whiskey Rebellion?

    • AnOuthouse

      He’s auditioning for a really shitty low budget buddy porn. One time at militia camp …

      • Treg.Brown

        Well that’s one I won’t be watching. I at least like my porn actors to look less meth-y.

    • IDon’tCareWhatYouThink

      Better to just say “stupid” or “idiotic” or “unfuckingbelievably dumb.”

      • JohnR

        You’re right.

    • I’ve taken a cue from Mr. Plinkett and started saying “This is so exceptional individual” myself.

  • AnOuthouse

    Willing to be killed? With votes?

    • Msgr_Moment

      Huge ballot boxes dropped from black helicopters.

  • JoeChristmas

    At least the gas is $1.59 a gallon. So running the generators shouldn’t be too expensive.

    • gullywompr

      Thanks Obama!

    • theCryptofishist

      How may gas cans do they have?

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    Maybe we should think this through?

    If we can’t break into Federal buildings over the weekend while armed to the teeth to defend our right to set fire to Federal Property… this obviously ends in Tyranny like that time they cancelled the TV series Gunsmoke.

    • RevZafod

      I was just so happy to break OUT of a federal building [and retire] 20 years ago, I have no desire to break into one, especially on the weekend.

  • JohnR

    These clowns will be Constipational Experts after eating MREs for a week or two.

    • zerosumgame0005

      hopefully one of them brought a barrel of dried pasta, that will stuff them up good after a couple of days of that 3 times a day!

      • frrolfe

        They’re prepared for the long wait. They have a yooge amount of survival food packs, as sold by WND and famous humanitarian Jim Bakker. Literal bucket loads of the stuff. The freeze-dried lobster thermidor is to die for. They even have an endless supply of freeze-dried water. (Just add water) To top it all off, they all have those power generators that power companies hate.

        • eddi

          Holding a windmill up to an open window in 30 degree (F) weather must be fun.

  • gullywompr

    Tip for future anti-government difference-makers, never occupy a single static asset surrounded by vast swaths of enemy territory, thereby intentionally becoming the victims of your own siege and eventual defeat at the hands of vastly more powerful force. Dammit, dimwits, you were supposed to remember the Alamo!

    • Msgr_Moment

      They were focusing on the Maine instead. Doh!

      • Zippy

        I forgot about that

        • Steverino247

          To Hell with Spain?

    • kaw143

      Wait I thought they were supposed to win one for the Gipper?

    • Shibusa

      Rest assured that they all remembered the Ammo, though.

    • Beaumarchais?

      What, they’re defending the right to own slaves in southeastern Oregon?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      “Remember” ≠ “Learn from”

  • JohnR

    I want to die of old age, just my 2 cents.

    • AnOuthouse

      Natural causes are NOT over rated.

  • Steverino247

    I suggest aerial spraying of Haldol.

    • therblig

      aerial spraying of Haldir would be more satisfying

      • Steverino247

        By Haldir. Got it.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        How about aerial spraying of Hodor?

    • HogeyeGrex

      PCP or ketamine might be more entertaining.

      • Steverino247

        True, but the damage these armed assholes would do to the environment by bleeding all over it…

  • JoeChristmas

    Don’t worry about lack of updates folks: Hannity is on his way with a mobile crew.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Hannity? Must be a low priority. O’Reilly was there even before they took over.

  • Steverino247

    Anybody got the phone number to this place? We can crank call them 24/7.

    • Objectifer

      Or send them all the pizzas.

      • DoILookAmused2u ?

        Seems too rural for the Pizza/AC Repair thing.

        • Steverino247

          Way too rural. I posted above what happens when you call. No live answer as it’s a government phone system, which means computer controlled. There may be a live answer during regular business hours, but I’m guessing not while these assholes are there.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      I imagine it is cut off already.

      Contact Us

      Malheur National Wildlife Refuge
      36391 Sodhouse Lane
      Princeton, Oregon 97721

      541-493-2612

      • RevZafod

        If they have to stay there very long, that may change to Sodomyhouse.

        • willi0000000

          film at eleven? . . . PLEASE!

          • eddi

            NOOOOOO!!!

          • willi0000000

            you don’t have to watch . . . but the mere thought of it existing…

        • onedollarjuana

          Not that long, I bet.

    • eddi

      Everybody who works there was home for the weekend. The phones just go to voice mail.

  • tehbaddr

    Terror Billies, Y’all Qaeda, Derp Militia, Oregoons, Cattle Logging Teabaggers, tehy are a moran!

    • HogeyeGrex

      Cow Pie-da

  • Last Hussar

    The FBI should pull every non white and non Christian agent they have and reassign them to this one. No white Christians to handle this.

  • JoeChristmas

    There are no atheists in the headquarters of the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      I can testify to that after reading and watching the videos the blithering idiots made.

  • JohnR

    You can’t spell Ammon without ammo.

    • JoeChristmas

      Or ammosexual.

      • CriticalDragon1177

        Big time ammosexuals!

      • Suse

        A ammo Lexus?

    • eddi

      Amon Ra, Ra, Ra!
      He is the One God
      He is the Sun God
      Rah! Rah! Rah!

    • Mehmeisterjr

      I’m pretty sure that Ammon’s middle name is Asshole.

      • mailman27

        Or Idiot. ISWYDT

  • Steverino247

    Okay, the number to the refuge is (541) 493-2612. I dialed it.They’re closed today but if you know your party’s extention, you can dial it any time. The phone extensions of the staff were then listed AND I DIDN’T HEAR THE NAME BUNDY SO GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      Try one. Heck, ask if Jesus is there yet?

      • Zippy

        ask if Al is home…

      • Steverino247

        Nah, All the staff were away at the time these assholes moved in. Leaving a message for somebody who can’t go to work tomorrow wouldn’t do me any good. I was hoping one of the assholes would answer, but no.

        • DoILookAmused2u ?

          Dang. Would be nice to ask “How many acres would Jesus burn?”.

          • Steverino247

            Had one of them answered, I would have pissed him off. Believe it.

          • DoILookAmused2u ?

            Well, get enough people together, and you can call all day and all night.

            If somebody picks up, you can ask them what the fees are for the RV Park.

          • Steverino247

            You’re going to get the answering message I pretty much quoted (except for the staff directory). If somebody picked up I, well, I have ways…

    • AnOuthouse

      Is the refrigerator running? Have Prince Albert in a can?

      • kaw143

        Do you have a vacuum cleaner? Does it suck?

        • Steverino247

          I would use my telemarketer whistle for starts. Or, you get them talking and then slowly turn the conversation and act like you’re jerking off to his voice. THAT will get them. I learned from the master of getting even, a gay rights activist I met in Texas. He had all these Baptist preachers harassing him and that shit lasted about a day before they called him to apologize and promise to leave him alone. Unfortunately, he’s no longer with us (a certain disease outbreak during the Reagan Administration…), but his training lives on.

    • A_Z_4

      When I looked at their website yesterday it had their winter opening hours listed, now it says the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge is closed until further noticed.

      http://www.fws.gov/refuge/malheur/

  • CriticalDragon1177

    The authorities should have risked a shoot out at the Bundy Ranch standoff instead of backing down out of fear. They should have forced Cliven Bundy and his loser posse to obey the law. If they had, its doubtful that we’d be dealing with this today.

    • Steverino247

      Well, except for the dead BLM officers on the scene. Air strike, maybe, but not an armed stand off. It’s what these assholes want, you know. They have a similar belief system to those IS assholes who desperately want us to send ground troops in. The best way to piss them off and make them look like fools is literally do nothing. Except gather evidence, of course. I’m sure we’ve got plenty of that.

      • CriticalDragon1177

        Making them look like fools won’t change the minds of them, or their supporters. They won’t be smart enough to realize that we’re making them look like fools, and they already look like fool. Besides, I have a feeling that most, if not all of them would change their minds very quickly once the authorities actually started bring down the full force of the law on them. Our “freedom loving patriots” need to have the fear of the law put into them.

        • Steverino247

          Patience, Grasshopper.

          • willi0000000

            had it . . . it ran out.

          • CriticalDragon1177

            Sorry, but I don’t see the point in having a lot of patience when it comes to things like this, that pretty much don’t happen in other parts of the world, even countries that are mostly free, and democratic like ours. I don’t see the point.

      • willi0000000

        after the bundy fundies went home the feds said they were gathering evidence and were going to pick off these idiots one-at-a-time . . . why are they still free to repeat their shit?

        most of the leaders have publicly confessed to organizing the “snipers” targeting the BLM officers and still walk free.

        it’s long past time to make some examples with long supermax (or Gitmo, just for chuckles) sentences.

  • elpinche

    Dear Obama. Here’ a pic with an idea.

    Do I have to think of everything?!?!

  • AnOuthouse

    Oh to be young again, armed with Roman candles, sneaking through the woods to reign terror on those imbeciles.

    • Beaumarchais?

      I’m sure if there was a wildfire they’d be whining about how bad the gummint is at providing essential services.

      • theCryptofishist

        My guess is that they shot it to shit by now. So you’d hear eternal ringing, but there would be no phone actually ringing. Sort of a Bishop Berkeley situation.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    Contact Us

    Malheur National Wildlife Refuge
    36391 Sodhouse Lane
    Princeton, Oregon 97721

    541-493-2612

    Repost for those interested in finding out park hours, fees, etc.

    • Msgr_Moment

      Can I talk to a human being if I call at 3am, or should I just let it ring off the hook?

      • Dudleydidwrong

        Are wingnut fascists human? Let the debate begin!

        • Hutch

          Not if they’re breathin all MY oxygen.

    • A_Z_4

      When I looked at their website yesterday it had their winter opening hours listed, now it says the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge is closed until further noticed.

      http://www.fws.gov/refuge/malheur/

      Why Is The Refuge Closed?

      The Fish and Wildlife Service is aware that an unknown number of armed individuals have broken into and occupied the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge facility near Burns, Oregon. While the situation is ongoing, the main concern is employee safety and we can confirm that no federal staff were in the building at the time of the initial incident. We will continue to monitor the situation for additional developments.

      • DoILookAmused2u ?

        That changed recently as I copy pasta their hours today.

        • A_Z_4

          Probably just happened shortly before I looked today.

    • mailman27

      350 million of us own this park. WHO ARE THESE PISSANTS??

  • Anarchy Pony

    Shorter wingnut idiots: You’re oppressing us by not letting us rape and exploit the wilderness!

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      There’s raping? More folks woulda showed up if’n you had mentioned the raping.

      • Msgr_Moment

        Well, mostly porcupines. They’re kinda desperate, actually.

    • willi0000000

      that’s “canola” to you, bub.

      • Barley_Brains

        Pretty yellow flowers.

  • TundraGrifter

    What Would President George Washington Do?

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      Raise a militia of about 12,000 to put down the rebellion.

    • Anarchy Pony

      Ask poor Daniel Shays.

      • DoILookAmused2u ?

        Washington didn’t cotton to insurgents.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      A fusillade of “Founders’ Intent” would fix this, pronto.

  • TundraGrifter

    Is it just me, or does there seem to be a large number of unemployed gun nutz running around, ready to drive hundreds of miles at a moment’s notice and camp out for weeks or months…

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      I blame crowd funding.

    • Msgr_Moment

      Thanks, Reagan!

    • bookish

      And doesn’t that Bundy Younger have a remarkably smooth, unlined, fresh face for a 40 year old rancher? Somthin’ wrong with that boy?

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Nothing a little moisturizer won’t cure.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        The Bundys don’t actually work the ranch … that’s what hired hands are for.

  • Olav_Pompatus

    I’m not a big fan of violence, but I kinda find myself hoping Darwinism will prevail here.

  • orygoon

    In this case, they really do not seem nice.

  • Shibusa

    These are the very same “patriots” who worship Putin. One can easily imagine how Vlad would deal with this type of patriotism if it were to occur in Kazan or Volgograd….

    • Steverino247

      What type of patriotism might that be?

      (In other words, you’d never hear about it!)

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        Have them killed by his friends, then arrest some enemies for the murders.

    • Or with Netanyahu, also too.

      • Beaumarchais?

        Same cloth, different yamulke.

  • Enfant Terrible

    Hey, if white fathers simply stayed home and raised their own children, we wouldn’t be dealing with all this pointless “protesting”, I mean rioting.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      I think we should offer them reduced sentences if they promise to go fight ISIS on their own dime in Syria.

  • Msgr_Moment

    Okay, let’s see. So the Feds can’t own land. That means that the real estate over which they have de facto jurisdiction should be auctioned off to the highest billionaire bidder, who can then lease the land back to youse guys, which I am certain they will do at a substantially lower rate than the Feds.

    Unless you all are a bunch of pussy hippy communists who think that the land is common property that you should be allowed to use for your exclusive benefit. Takers.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      Woody Guthrie libelz. “This land is your land…”

    • eddi

      Funny thing about that. They don’t want anyone to own it. Not even as common property, if I understand them. Everybody does whatever they want. Overgraze, hunt everything, strip mine, burn out invasive plants and immigrants. And shoot anyone who objects.

      • HogeyeGrex

        These are not patriots. Not even Patriots™. These are anarchists, and not the friendly kind.

  • Barley_Brains

    Welfare ranchers have the biggest butt hurt when you point out that they do not own the land they are where they are grazing their cattle.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      He owns 12,000 acres. And feels entitled to do as he pleases on the adjoining wild life preserve too.

      Hence prison.

      • Msgr_Moment

        How Putinesque!

      • Mr Corrections

        To be fair, the guys going to prison want no part of this nuttery, as far as I can tell.

        • eddi

          They were the first to tell the crazies “get lost”.

          • Mr Corrections

            seems like it, yes.

      • HogeyeGrex

        Actually, I read that public records say 480 acres. Not even a square mile, though three times as big as the Bundy spread.

        That means, of course, the right to fuck up any and all land within three days ride.

        • DoILookAmused2u ?

          Dude, if most of us deliberately set fire to hundreds of acres.of national forest, we’d be lucky to get 10-15 years. That’s a testament to his legal team.

        • DoILookAmused2u ?

          The Hammonds

          Dwight Hammond was about 22 when he moved to the Diamond Valley, a remote range where cattle baron Pete French once held sway. Hammond and his wife Susan started Hammond Ranches Inc., beginning with about 7,000 acres.

          Today, Hammond Ranches owns about 12,000 acres in the Diamond-Frenchglen area. They use this ground to run cattle during the winter. Until two years ago used 26,420 acres of land belonging to the U.S. Bureau of Land Management for summer grazing.

          • HogeyeGrex

            480 might just be the hq plot for all I know. The info came from an Ammon Bundy blog post, so I figured it overestimated, if anything. Useless fucker can’t even get that much right.

          • DoILookAmused2u ?

            I figure about 2 acres per head pair means you get a cull of about 6,000 head x 900 bucks each = 5400000. At least 5 million a year minus operating costs.

            Not poor folks.

          • HogeyeGrex

            It’s desert, so you might need to take that into account if you haven’t.
            From the cert to the Supremes:

            it owned over 10,000 acres of private pasture and had a Bureau of Land Management [BLM] permit authorizing it to
            graze cattle on tens of thousands of acres of public land. HRI’s Grazing Permit authorized it to pasture about 18 bulls and 374 cow-calf pairs on various allotments on the public land over the course of the year.

            Manta says estimated $220k, which I would suppose to be net.
            http://www.manta.com/c/mm253lh/hammond-ranches-inc
            But who the fuck knows. One can only imagine the fictions involved in their book-keeping.

          • DoILookAmused2u ?

            They must have amazing overhead because even if you build in high end costs for new headers, vet costs ,etc, to come in under a million…. how much are they paying in taxes and wages?

          • HogeyeGrex

            If they’re only running 374 pair, it’s not that big a stretch.

          • DoILookAmused2u ?

            Then why do they need 12,000 acres?

          • HogeyeGrex

            Also, I don’t really give a flying fuck how rich or poor they are. While I think it’s a shitty law they were sentenced under, it’s the law. They understand this, and are going to take their lumps.

            The clowns “taking over” the refuge, on the other hand, actually need to be sent to the stripey hole for a long time. Ironically, I think they might be in violation of the same overly broad “anti-terrorist” law that got the Hammonds their sentence in the first place. With any luck, these deserving assholes will get the max rather than the min. I can’t imagine these idiots showing up to a “showdown with the gummint” without bringing some splodey stuff.

          • DoILookAmused2u ?

            The law about arson?

            Yeah, that’s frowned upon. Poor rich guy cannot set fire to the federal properly.

            Boo hoo

          • HogeyeGrex

            It’s a poorly written law (by “law and order” wingnuts, no doubt) that makes burning anything related to the federal government into “terrorism.” It then lays out some fairly harsh minimum sentencing.

            If they had been prosecuted under a normal arson law and a poaching law and given five years, fine. I just hate wrapping everything up into the “terrorism” moniker. It also gives morons like the Bundys fodder for their bullshit persecution complexes.

    • Beaumarchais?

      Western ranchers = white trash takers.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I remember reading a book once in which a group of people were having a conversation about defending their country, and one of the people said “I’d die for my country.” But another person said “When a man states he is willing to die for this cause or that, what he actually means to say is that his cause is worth killing for, so that the vow ‘I shall die for what I believe in’ merely becomes a rationalization for murderous intent.” This line struck me at the time, and I have never forgotten it.

    • PUAAN

      Do you remember what book that was? Sounds worth a read.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        It’s “The Infidel” by Georgia Elizabeth Taylor. It is one of my favorite books.

        • PUAAN

          Thank you! It’s on my list now.

        • Jukesgrrl

          On Amazon 71% of the ratings for that are five stars. That’s unusually good.

  • As he does every time he so much as buys a Snickers bar, Ritzheimer holds up a pocket copy of the Constitution and says he’s willing to die to defend it:

    Whatta bunch of drama queens.

    • Rick Hill

      After years of whining about a black man cramming things down their throat, it was inevitable….

      • eddi

        The militia grudges go back further. And land use arguments are even older.

        • Hutch

          About half of the State of Oregon is publicly-owned (federal, state, county, and city owned). The federal land is held in the public trust. But now, according to these idiotic yahoos, I can decide I want to build my private house on the rim of Crater Lake because I don’t like government over-reach?!?

          • Msgr_Moment

            Maybe “public” and “trust” don’t belong in the same sentence.

          • Hutch

            Augh. These are most likely the same creeps that took jackhammers and a generator to the Hart Mountain reserve and stole centuries-old Native American petroglyghs. I was born and raised in Oregon and this crime un-snarkedly breaks my heart.

          • theCryptofishist

            Fuck.

          • eddi

            That’s about the size of it. The public to them is all those people they hate. So why shouldn’t these patriots be the only ones allowed the freedom to do whatever they want?

        • Rick Hill

          Yeah but that’s not as funny.

    • btwbfdimho
  • URQ196

    I live in Oregon, none of my friends are pleased about this occupation by outta staters.

    • CriticalDragon1177

      Oh but of course, racism is “dead” in America.

    • Duke

      Time to put together your own militia. It’s a system that’s popular all over the world. Take responsibility and don’t rely on the government with their socialized military to solve problems.

    • Shibusa

      Does Oregon have to have its own Murrah Building massacre before Republicans decide to act to tamp down the stupid in their own party (and stump speeches)?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Oregon is a very Blue state, so, no. Of course, this little drama is playing out in the Red part of the state…east of the Cascades.

      • Bitter Scribe

        Half the country could die in a hail of gunfire, and as long as the Republicans think the stupid will get them one extra vote, they’ll never tamp it down.

  • Shibusa

    This would be a good time to educate these “patriots” about how the Founders envisioned civilian militias–to protect the union from insurrectionists.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      Also too, that whole “foreign and domestic” thingie.

  • Msgr_Moment

    OT. Love you, Rex Ryan!!!!!11!!

  • Barley_Brains

    Keep them contained until they turn to cannibalism.

    • JustPixelz

      Build a big, tall, BEEYOOTIFUL wall around the visitors center. And make the NRA pay for it.

      • Michael Loraine

        Make the NRA pay for the expense of the entire operation, whether they build a wall or not.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      Not enough teeth for that.

  • mrFawkes

    What has 14 teeth, an AR-15, An M-16, a 17-year-old girlfriend, an IQ of 18, has 19 rusty broken appliances in their yard and is facing 20 years to life?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Bundy spawn

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      23 skidoo?

      • willi0000000

        it’s gonna take him forever to get to AK-47

        • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

          Indeed. I skipped “Who has an F-22?”

          • willi0000000

            he shoulda started with an M-1.

        • Gleem-McShinez

          FIIIIIVE GOLDLINE COINS!

          It’s a little late in the fighting season for Christmas Wars Caroling, that song also takes for-fucking-ever.

  • Rasilom

    OK so I think the appropriate response here is to completely surround the building with snipers. Let the idiots know that if they try to leave by any direction other than right towards the nice heavily armed officers with out a weapon they will be shot, they block all incoming food and water along with playing a continuous loop of Kidz Bop sings Celine Dion played on endless loop at high volume. I mean Death Metal Levels of Volume. (This one goes to 11…) you could also loop in various Barney the dinosaur sing along albums for good measure. Sure they brought rations for the siege, but how much could they really have brought along? 3 weeks worth? I want to see these mother fuckers after 10 weeks under those conditions.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      There is a gift shop with snacks and drinks.

    • Michael Loraine

      That was my initial thought as well: surround them, shut off the water & power and wait for them to surrender (or attack).

      But then I thought that we should take Sen. Cruz’ advice and bomb the place until the sand glows in the dark, to serve as an example for others with similar notions. A much more satisfying fantasy, is it not?

    • Bitter Scribe

      My suggestion: Get a bunch of drones fitted with sound systems. Fly them over the patriots and announce: “Attention! This is the federal government, and we’re COMING TO TAKE YOUR GUNS AWAY!” followed by a soundtrack of gunfire and explosions. Then sit back as they all shoot each other.

      • Beaumarchais?

        Many times I’ve daydreamed about playing such a soundtrack in volatile situations, but it would be wrong—and Dok is the kindest, smartest, funniest moderator on the Interwebs.

        • Msgr_Moment

          I HEAR THAT HE IS THE BESTEST PONY AS WELL, TOO.

    • Mr Corrections

      I mentioned this in the other thread, but someone on twitter suggested playing Obama speeches to them (with occasional breaks for Bill Clinton on sax).

  • Larry Linn

    Without the criminals hiding behind their children, it is a
    good time to seize Bundy’s cattle off the Federal land, and auction them off to
    pay the rent which he owes.

  • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

    We’re not in Kansas anymore.

    • eddi

      More like Arizona.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Hey!

  • dshwa

    If this was The Black Panthers they’d have already called in the drones or an F-16.

    • eddi

      The building has too much value. Pest control is called for. Wrap it in plastic and fumigate with Mace.

      • HogeyeGrex

        Just catapult garbage bags full of fleas in there.

        • vivian

          Just send ’em a blanket from an New York City YMCA…
          enough bedbugs in there to take care of everybody.

  • btwbfdimho

    Happy New Year, Wonketteratti!
    2016 so far has been impecable (hey!), and I have very high expectations for this new year.
    I truly believe that by the end of December, Jesús (Rabino) Christ will finally be back, in a long-waited return that will make Cruz (Penélope) extremely happy, while people all around the smoke-free planet will live in a greed-guns-gods-gums-free transparent communist society that will efficiently produce and distribute a permanent supply of 72 virgins for everybody. Let’s wait and see!

    • Msgr_Moment

      I do hope you brought enough around for the rest of us to smoke.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      I only need one, and I prefer someone with experience. Thanks though!

  • bozilingus

    Ritzheimer is doing poorly as Annie (re: his chest tattoo). Unless he’s Annie in Annie, Get Your Gun.

    • dshwa

      His tramp stamp says “The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow”

    • theCryptofishist

      Any fed you can kill, I can kill deader?

  • Sam Hain

    This leads back to Waco.

    • eddi

      Or Whacko.

    • Rick Hill

      Do you remember the sheriff(?) of that area back then? Said something about how there were about 26 groups like this but they weren’t the ones they thought needed watching. Or something like that.

  • eddi

    They are putting the wild back into West. I suspect the winter weather will take care of them. Snow and below-freezing night temperatures in a rustic setting. Here’s pic of the HQ.

    • Little_Big_Tug

      That looks a lot nicer than a double-wide in Nevada.

    • Msgr_Moment

      Do they have any sheep to curl up with?

      • eddi

        Wrong part of the state. Unless the brought some ringers in from Montana.

    • This makes me think of my preferred strategy for Daesh: seal them in, make sure their crazy doesn’t get out, let time and their own internal rage deal with it all. (Shouldn’t take long.)

      This would make a nice test bed.

      • eddi

        Just brick up the doors and windows and build a new headquarters. No muss, no fuss.

        • The Wanderer

          Brick up the doors and windows? Where’s the Amontillado kept?
          “For the love of God, Montresor!”

          • eddi

            No fancy-nancy wines for them. Mad Dog of GTFO.

      • A_Z_4

        Being sealed in a cabin and going crazy reminds me of this:

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdismcD_vyg
        (Sorry about the poor quality)

      • A_Z_4

        Being sealed in a cabin and going crazy reminds me of this:
        (Sorry about the poor quality)

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdismcD_vyg

      • A_Z_4

        Actually sealing them in might be the best thing to do to stop them from spreading!
        (from what I read yesterday):

        http://www.oregonlive.com/pacific-northwest-news/index.ssf/2016/01/drama_in_burns_ends_with_quiet.html
        Government sources told The Oregonian/OregonLive that the militia also was planning to occupy a closed wildland fire station near the town of Frenchglen. The U.S. Bureau of Land Management posts crews there during the fire season.

        Admittedly that part is very lacking in any other relevant details.

    • kaw143

      Well, my first inclination was to simply re-post the “Life at the Outpost” video Doloras Funkette shared the other day, but in the interest of being somewhat original, I will share another totally accurate representation of living in the Wild, Wild West:

      https://youtu.be/6ES3iNPcPL8

      No, I was NOT going to go with a Will Smith video. What kind of monster do you take me for?

    • theCryptofishist

      Any idea of how much firewood they’ve got?

      • eddi

        Counting tables, desks and wood chairs? Still not enough. Government offices use aluminum and plastic mostly. Plus no fire place. not that that little detail should slow them down.

        • theCryptofishist

          There is a chimney–that’s why I asked. I suppose they could tear up the deck, now that I think about it.

          • eddi

            Going outside might be a bad idea. I suspect that chimney is from the furnace room (fuel oil or natural gas).

          • theCryptofishist

            There, I am so simple that I assumed chimney=fireplace.

          • eddi

            The place does look more like a rustic chalet than a typical government office building.

  • kaw143

    How exactly does this fit in with the whole “good guys with guns” rhetoric? Asking for a friend, who is deluded and seems to think there might be a logical answer to that question.

    • eddi

      They are calling for all true Oregon patriots to rally to them. The Second American Revolution is about to begin. Once you understand that, you will see they are totally logical and the only sane people in the nation.
      Total Oregon patriots joining in = 0. I’m on the other side of the Cascades so I’m safe from stray rounds.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        I’ll be happy as a true Oregon patriot to help out the Feds in waiting these guys out, but the Feds don’t need my help, so I won’t be driving over there to make myself a nuisance.

        • kaw143

          Support them with (actual, NOT metaphoric) votes.

          • mailman27

            Early and often.

  • Rick Hill

    The interesting part of this will come when he gop candidates try to address their feelings on it and what shoud be done. Will they be able to satisfy the rabid base and the need appear like they want to govern a civilized society? Hahahahaha. No.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      Something to look forward to this week.

      • Rick Hill

        Any bets on one of them(Cruz) commenting that these loyal patriotic Americans are merely misguided and should focus their efforts on D.C.?

        • PhoenixWoman

          Cruz did last time.

          • Rick Hill

            Yeah, I’m only going to get even odds on my bet…

    • kaw143

      Well, this might make Trump angry, and if so, he’ll probably deny healthcare to whatever handicapped children happen to be handy.

  • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

    Gets a mite nippy there ’round Burns in January. Hope they brought their ball warmers.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      If those guns can cook bacon, they can warm balls.

      • eddi

        Not after the lube freezes solid.

    • Hutch

      I recall driving in Burns one January through ice fog. I am praying for ice fog to engulf the ranger station these cretins have captured.

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        I was on the edge of the Snake River Canyon once when the ice fog moved up and out and over us. Visibility went from 100 miles to 100 inches in about 100 seconds…

    • kaw143

      Not sure what they would need ball warmers for. . .

    • Gleem-McShinez

      I think I read some of their children are there with them.

      So, they’re NOT hiding behind those kids as human shields… it’s probably worse.

  • Lady Bug

    Between Ted, Cliven and Al, I think it’s time we just retire the Bundy name…

    • eddi

      Al was the fun Bundy.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Also Kelly.

        • Biff52

          OK, I’ll settle for Peg.

          • blaid droog

            Peg turned into Gemma. That’s when she got hot.

          • Biff52

            Leela was pretty hot for a cyclops, too!

          • blaid droog

            How could I have forgotten Leela. I have fapped to her image.

  • William

    I’m hoping that Cruz and/or Huckabee goes up there and gets trapped in the stand off. The racist gasbag from New York is probably too smart to do this. The other two might just do it though.

    • Little_Big_Tug

      Don’t forget Hannity.

  • myexisinthetrunk

    So can they be charged with murder if they kill so much as a wabbit?

    • eddi

      Poaching on Federal Land.

      • The Wanderer

        No Poaching!
        ….not even an egg . . .

      • onedollarjuana

        Lemme get this straight. If I rustle a steer from this bunch it’s a hangin’ offense, but if they rustle a bunch of OUR deers from public land it’s their “right”. Right?

        • eddi

          Right! Or rather it’s wrong but they think it’s right. That’s the Right for you. Only they have rights. The rest of the world is wrong.

    • Hutch

      According to oregonlive.com, prior to setting the fires, the guys for whom these half-wits are protesting, “slaughtered” a bunch of deer on public lands illegally. Their fire destroyed the evidence and most likely pissed their judge off even more.

      So, yes. A murder charge for the half-wits would be great!

      • Lemmy Caution

        Actually, the poachers/arsonists are actually the smart ones in the story. They’re ready to do their time and get on with their lives. It’s these other idiots who are somehow trying to make this the hill upon which they’ll die, for some reason.

    • therblig

      only during duck season

  • shastakoala

    Waco, Ruby Ridge, Claude Dallas. What could go wrong?

  • Sir Ergot of Rye

    Good job clowntards because nothing says Big, Oppressive, Keepin’ the White Man Down and Coming For Yer Guns gubmint like a heretofore unknown National Wildlife Refuge headquarters.

    • It’s actually a secret location for FEMA camping.

    • Lemmy Caution

      Later the group seized and occupied the outhouses in a nearby Federal campground, declaring, “the government can pry my warm, soft poop out of my cold, chapped hands when I’ve died for freedom!”

  • It’s too bad they aren’t running a hospital. I’m sure Obama would be happy to bomb the crap out of them then.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      oh, ouch

  • The Wanderer

    Just thought of the perfect way to drive these modal cathodic slipwits out of the building.
    Set up a YOOGE projection screen, and treat them to a movie marathon of Human Centipede, 120 Days of Sodom, and the human rights violation movie for Christmas 2015, Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever.

    • Hutch

      Ooo, nice psyops suggestion.

      • The Wanderer

        Thank you! Nervenkrieg is a hobby of mine.

        • That’s one hell of a hobby.

          • The Wanderer

            (evil grin) I show Adam Sandler movies to jail inmates.

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            That’s against the Geneva Convention. Blinding weapons.

          • Little_Big_Tug

            Why you vile m’fukk’r!

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Just get those Planned Parenthood supporters there shouting Yeast Infection Yeast Infection for a few hours. Maybe a couple of well placed “We have vaginas and also we pee” chants thrown in for good measure.

      • The Wanderer

        We save that for the intermissions, along with recordings of Gay Pride marches.
        (adds Brokeback Mountain to the playlist)

    • kaw143

      PIER PAOLO PASOLINI LIBELZ!!11!

      • I’ve seen Salo. Psyops, indeed.

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      From what I’ve gathered the Bundy’s are mormons and I thought I read the Hammonds are, too, also.

      • mailman27

        Got an extra “m” in there, pardner! (And not in Hammond…)

  • Little_Big_Tug

    “Ammon Bundy has said in several interviews that the occupiers want federal land returned to Harney County ranchers and loggers.”

    Returned to? What is this returned to of which you speak, Kimosabe? Most of the Refuge used to belong to the Burns Paiute Tribe until some white politician took it from them.

    To whit: “Numerous Paiutes were fatally caught in the middle of an 1878 war between the government and the Bannock tribe, even though the majority of Paiutes did not get involved in the fighting. By war’s end, the remaining Paiutes were forced onto their trail of tears when they were moved off the reservation and relocated to Fort Simcoe in Washington. In the 1880s, the empty Malheur Reservation was thrown open to cattlemen and homesteaders. The federal government’s policy toward Indians slowly began to evolve. In accordance with the Dawes Act of 1887, the Paiute were invited to return to their former reservation, or onto reservations in other western states. Those who returned to their former reservation were given 160-acre parcels of marginal land that was resistant to cultivation. Just 115 parcels were handed out, so many Paiutes received no land at all.”

    Is this what those guys are all about? Returning this land to the Burns Paiute Tribe?
    If so, I approve.

    • Beaumarchais?

      They certainly would have standing to file an amicus curiae brief, at the very least—if any of them are left.

      • Little_Big_Tug

        That should be their sole reason for this action.
        But it ain’t, I reckon.

    • theCryptofishist

      What are they intending to do with marginal land? Half a dozen scruffy goats and an artisinal cheese line?

      • eddi

        Starve to death and stop bothering white men. Not much has changed in the last 100+ years has it?

  • Me not sure

    You’ll notice that the words power, rules, regulations, territories and property are all capitalised. This was merely a now archaic and antiquated method of emphasizing the importance of those words. The capitals were intended to make those words stand out as very meaningful, not cast doubt about any common understanding of their meaning.

    • eddi

      Don’t confuse fanatics with factual truth. They may open fire.

      • Little_Big_Tug

        They’re impervious to facts! They my open fire in any case.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Nice little “unto” in there, too, which means it came straight from God.

  • JMP

    I’m sure the media would still be calling these armed terrorists “peaceful protesters” if they were black or brown, right?

    • Little_Big_Tug

      Well, they don’t have Skittles, so . . . . they’re probably just being “feisty”!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Maybe if you omit the weaponry…

  • Beaumarchais?

    “…and let God sort ’em out.” With votes, of course.

    • kaw143

      God says, “Leave me out of this, you!”

  • Tendernob

    “Occupying a federal building was easy but who will be able to occupy… their hearts!

    ‘3 Brides for 3 Bundys’, this fall on ABC!

    • Vienna Woods

      Yeah, you could at least give credit to the person who tweeted that 17 hours ago…

      Matt Oswalt ‏@puddinstrip 17h17 hours ago

      “Occupying a federal building was easy but who will be able to occupy…their hearts”

      ‘3 Brides for 3 Bundys’, this fall on ABC

      • Barley_Brains

        How is meme formed?

      • Henry Ridgeway

        No, it’s “9 brides for 3 Bundys.”

        • mailman27

          7 Cousins for 7 Bundys?

  • Tendernob

    This whole situation will no doubt be quickly resolved when the government sends in thoughts and prayers to take down the militia.

    • mailman27

      Thoughts/Prayers 2016!!

  • akryan

    This sort of thing was always going to be the natural extension of allowing those guys off the hook about the grazing rights thing. The authorities needs to put those guys under siege. Just surround it, don’t allow in any food, water or fuel, and then just wait them out. They should have done that the first time too.

    • Rick Hill

      Yeah but any type of confrontation would have ended badly. It was also right before the midterm elections, it would have pushed almost every race in the country to the gop.

      • akryan

        Almost every race went to the GOP anyway. That bridge was in the middle of nowhere. It couldn’t have been that hard to put them under siege. I guess that would have made them martyrs to the super loons though. I just wonder what people would say if this whole movement was done by a bunch of Muslims. Actually, I don’t wonder.

        • Rick Hill

          Not as badly as ’10 and th were a lot of important races that were won. Regardless it was a no win situation for the Democrats and they took the lesser of evils.

  • Thepeoplevs.

    Why do I have a feeling that carbon monoxide from an improperly vented propane space heater is going to end this standoff? These guys dont seem like the brightest bulbs

    • natoslug

      That space heater is my hero.

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        Sanders/Space Heater 2016!

  • Jenny

    Kind of sick of these assholes getting their way. If this was any other group the boot of the government would be on their necks.

    • dshwa

      You’re right. Feds should have scooped up the lot of them after the last incident.

      • mailman27

        For sure. They could, and should, have ID’d those snipers sighting in on civil servants and prosecuted with extreme prejudice. No gray area.

  • bumfug

    Of course they’re willing to die – Cliven Bundy promised that martyrs would get 42 unfucked sheep when they get to heaven.

    • Hutch

      Virgin. Virgin sheep. Unfucked sounds so… well, in this case, perfect!

    • Little_Big_Tug

      “What’s a virgin sheep? Ain’t never seen one” ______ some Bundys

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      42, is this a hitchhikers guide need-a-towel kind of thing?

      • toomanyrappers

        42 sheep? That’s it! I’ve got to get to a phone!

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Ammon Bundy, Mel Bundy, Ryan Bundy, Ryan Paine, Blaine Cooper, and Jon Ritzheimer.

    Well, shit. There the fuck goes my fantasy militia team.

  • Incoming Ham

    Y’allquada waging Yeehawd indeed.

    • Hutch

      Yee-haw.

    • Little_Big_Tug

      Shit-howdy!!1!

  • Mary Sandoras

    “if you look at it through your rifle scope just right”

    It was a kaleidoscope.

    • Lemmy Caution

      Or a colonoscopy probe :)

  • dshwa

    Just cut the power and water.

    • Hutch

      Or scramble one of those logging helicopters they also use to fight fires to dump a couple of thousand gallons of water on the captured ranger station.

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        That is a fantastic idea! Ice the crap out of all their trucks also too.

        Although I wouldn’t want to be the pilot.

        Maybe an M1A2 should just turn up and sit there.

        • Steverino247

          Nah, a squadron of A-10’s would much more convincing. Tell the Air Force there’s a football game out there that needs a fly over.

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            Now you’re talking!

            Maybe followed by a couple of B1s on full burner.

          • Steverino247

            Believe me, an A-10 squadron bearing down on you is quite sufficient. My infantry company was used as mock targets before it entered service. We thought we were hiding in the woods and bushes pretty good. Uh, no. I remember being very happy they were unarmed.

          • FukuiSanYesOta
          • Steverino247

            I was at Ft. Lewis where we had trees and terrain. Riley is a parade ground by comparison!

          • HogeyeGrex

            A large gun with some wings stuck on. Fuck.

  • Flanders

    How long till Trump comes out in support of these idiots?

    • Hutch

      In 3, 2, 1….

    • natoslug

      He’s waiting to see how it plays out. If they can milk it for publicity, they’re patriots. If they give up when they run out of Bud Lime, they’re yooge looooozers.

  • weejee

    No food, no propane, no power (run a D9 over their generator if the put outside), and
    no assault – just wait. But really can you imagine if this was done by armed blah or Muslin Americans. Can you, ffs, imagine?

    • natoslug

      It’d be a shame if they run their generator inside. Such a sad, sad shame. Although if they don’t, they risk it being destroyed.

  • Is the water turned off in that building? Where are those dirty occupying hippies going to be going to the toilet?

    • Little_Big_Tug

      Hippies? No, methinks they’ll contract with Ted Nugent as their Pants and Hygiene Administrator.

      • Hutch

        Yeah, maybe they packed in a shitload of diapers.

        • Little_Big_Tug

          True Patriots(TM) only use Mossy Oak adult incontinent products. FREEDOM!

          • eddi

            Ask and ye shall receive, sort of.

    • Hutch

      Now that I think about it, they did capture the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge station and “malheur” is French for “big stink.” So, perfect!

      • mailman27

        Wee-wee, monsewer!

    • Querolous
    • tza

      Forget cutting the water–cut the power and kill the wifi. Eventually their phones will run out of charge and with no internet to yell to they’ll get bored and go home.

      • blaid droog

        They have a generator. Also snow and scenery.

        • eddi

          Gas will limit their stay. Either fuel for the generator or methane attacks from the MREs.

    • Lemmy Caution

      Why can’t they just behavvvve?

  • Militiaman vs Feds standoff? Ugh. Soooo ’90s. *holds finger-thumb in L on forehead*

    • Little_Big_Tug

      Loooooozzzooorrrr!!!

  • Sheepshagger

    Oh God that video is easily the worst porno ever.

    • Mr Corrections

      That sounds like a challenge…

  • Picabo

    Maybe the Bundies just want to go to Wyoming.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cS61hWuh43Y

  • “He says they’re ready to kill and be killed if necessary.” Be killed=thinning the herd.

    • Steverino247

      More like “Ridding us of turds.”

      • just_jim

        Improving the species.

        • nanuq1

          EUGENICS!!!1!11!1!!1

  • Even if their wacky interpretation of the Constitution is correct, why does that mean that *they* get to use the land? Disposal would presumably involve a sale, not just a gift to whatever rednecks happen to be living nearby.

    • Case in point: they declare it belongs to “the people,” but a reporter can’t enter. This is straight up theft.

      “When a Guardian reporter tried to enter the federal land shortly after the occupation began he was blocked from doing so by a man armed with an “AR-15-style rifle” who said the land belonged to the people. “This public land belongs to ‘we the people,’” he said. “We’ll be here enjoying the snow and the scenery.””

      http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2016/01/03/militia_occupies_malheur_national_wildlife_refuge_in_oregon.html

      • Msgr_Moment

        Also, we would like ….a shrubbery.

        • ZangoCrudmonger

          You’d have to prune with a carp out that way, alas. The herring done buggered off.

        • Markuserektus

          So it shall be

        • Orphic Dragon

          K.

      • Jukesgrrl

        Reporters are slaves to the Hollywood Liebral Elites, doncha know!?1!

    • eddi

      They claim eminent domain. They were occupying it first, so it’s all theirs. Their granddaddies worked hard to drive out the Godless savages that wouldn’t let them have the land and now they are fighting the Godless Government to keep it.

  • Kelly Hamilton

    Jon needs to do some push ups and bench presses. It appears that his massive pecs will only support five stripes and a handful of stars. That pale, womanly body does not inspire me at all, but you must admit his farewell video is deeply moving if you don’t fall asleep first..

    • Msgr_Moment

      He weeps like Emo Kylo Ren.

      • tza

        And he doesn’t even have hair for the Dark Side to coif!

      • theCryptofishist

        Can we really take seriously someone who had the name of a song from Annie tattooed across his chest? Broadway musicals are kind of an odd pool to be drawing from, but this is the best he could do?

  • dshwa

    Obama’s such a bad tyrant. Putin would have already gassed the building and arrested their families. Loser

  • data_ninja

    This rawstory link is at least entertaining. They have this list in it as well: https://twitter.com/drvox/status/683775750038634496?ref_src=twsrc^tfw

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Trailer Daesh
      Winded Warrior Project
      Meal Team Six

      • Markuserektus

        Posse Confutatis

        • eddi

          BLM Lives Don’t Matter
          NRAnarchists
          Bundy Brain Trust

      • mailman27

        Ennui Stand Together?
        A Little Flab’ll Do Ya?

      • Jukesgrrl

        Brilliant!

    • AnnieW

      Mullet mullahs

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Real Dumberican™ Patriots.

  • blaid droog

    They should just be cut off from the outide world. Then they should just be ignored. Maybe they will practice cannibalism real soon.

    • HenryKillinger

      This is an instance where a “big, beautiful wall” would be a good idea.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Just cut off the power — when their batteries finally die, they’ll vanish from the moronosphere.

  • yeah but i’m pretty sure i have royal blood.

    my last name says so.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Why hello there, Fuflans Saxe-Coburg-Gotha!

      • i’m sorry that’s Fuflans Saxe-Coburg-Gotha ROMANOV to you.

        please.

        • mailman27

          I’m more of a Popov man.

    • TxSpinyLizrd

      Tudor?

  • Helena Handbag

    These anti-government types all strike me as having Daddy issues. They are little boys (mostly) having a tantrum

    • theCryptofishist

      I see them as having Mommy issues. They aren’t going to share or take turns or be nice or wash the snot off their faces or do anything that’s sensible or Mommy endorsed.

      • eddi

        Toilet training. They all failed. And now they think it’s OK to crap anywhere they want.

      • Helena Handbag

        Perhaps i should have phrased it as authority issues. That really strikes at the heart of it. Resentful of being asked or ordered to be socially responsible.

    • data_ninja

      From the pictures I’ve seen around the web, there seems to be a combination of father and sons joining in on the standoff. So maybe this is second or third generation Daddy issues, passed down from one to the other.

  • marxalot

    NOPE. I had a really pleasant week, and I’ve got work tomorrow. I can be pissed about this then. No more internet today.

  • Steverino247
    • mailman27

      Mr. Pierce almost always has it correct, eloquently.

      • eddi

        Now that’s how you write an editorial. Etched onto iron plates by a pen loaded with vitriol.

    • NorthStarSpanx

      “out of the mouth of the vulgar talking yam.” My god, that is the second best insult to Trump I’ve seen, after John Stewart’s “Fuckface Von Clownstick” of course.

    • nanuq1

      Do not go into that comments section.

      • Steverino247

        I’ve been in more dangerous places that any comments section.

  • Steverino247

    Hey, are these guys anti-vaxxers, too? We can send in some measles-infected blankets or something.

    • Hutch

      Mit votes!

      • Steverino247

        Ja, danke!

    • Jenny

      No, their parents and our government made sure they got the vaccines. It’s their kids that would suffer.

      • Steverino247

        Any more than having assholes like them for fathers?

        I’d bet my house at least one family court filing will come out of this. “Your honor, that’s my son on the news with all those assholes!”

  • tegrat

    Although technically these assholes may be described as a “militia” (if we allow that they are somehow organized), I think referring to them this way gives them way too much cred. “Militants”, or “lawless armed knuckle-draggers” is far more appropriate.

    • Steverino247

      I think the generic term “Asshole” says it all.

      • just_jim

        What about a compromise “Terrorist Assholes”

        • Steverino247

          Redundant.

          • eddi

            But it scans.

    • Brewerofbeers

      I thought that we already had a tee for it: Terrorists.

      • HenryKillinger

        “Reactionary traitors” works as well.

  • middleclassman1

    Yes they are just like the occupy wall street movement except having drums and singing they have guns and threats.

    • eddi

      In other words a real threat to the health and safety of themselves and others.

  • middleclassman1

    Don’t these people have jobs or are they all living on my dime?

    • mailman27

      No, yes.

    • homitsu

      Some of the ranchers get govt.subsidies

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Like almost-free grazing rights. (But not free, therefore TYRANNY!!!1!)

  • mailman27

    Starve ’em out. Fuck ’em.

    • sw19womble

      Yes to the first. No to the second.

      • Steverino247

        Leave the gun. Take the cannolis.

    • Steverino247

      Do we have time?

      Always my response to these little problems.

      • eddi

        The BLM can always rent offices elsewhere to conduct business. Fire and other disaster plans usually exist. So the FBI can wait them out until their kids have grandkids. They can bring in the Quantico classes on Hostage Negotiation and let them practice on real dummies.

    • HenryKillinger

      Get W in there to “smoke ’em out.”

      They fooled us once in Nevada, so now we can’t get fooled again.

    • dshwa

      Fuck em? Not even with Kim Davis’s coot coot.

      • manndan

        Now I need brain bleach.

  • AnnieW

    YallQeada practicing YeeHawed, VanillaISIS, Yokel Haram, TrailerDaesh….have to love me some Twitter right now.

    • eddi

      The mockery is unending. If this bunch had a clue they would slink into the woods in humiliation never to be seen again.

  • Markuserektus
    • kaw143

      Interesting. So, my takeaway from that is these “patriot” groups calm down whenever a Republican is in office. So they aren’t so much “patriots” as partisans who have guns and aren’t afraid to use them menacingly when someone else disagrees with them?

      Now, why in the world would a liberal (such as myself) have an issue with them behaving in such a manner? ESPECIALLY since I, too, have guns and choose to utilize them responsibly and never, EVER in a threatening manner against another human being who is just going about their business.

      It isn’t that I’m anti-Second Amendment. I’m anti-stupid AND anti-tyranny. And if they can’t see how their behavior is tyrannical, they don’t understand the complicated relationship between rights and responsibilities. Fuckheads.

      • Markuserektus

        It’s a long crazy history alright.

      • dshwa

        I blame Reagan and the radio douchebags he unleashed like Jabba the Rush. That’s who started cranking up the “liberals aren’t American” decibel level to where we are now.

  • Johnny Wright

    Send all the children home and stop hiding behind them . They make a threat then stand ready with guns next to children .
    Send them home and we will end this before sunrise ..

    • Swampgas_Man

      Standard terrorist shield

    • Steverino247

      It’s “Bring Your Child to your Last Unsupervised Contact with Them” Day

    • dshwa

      Isn’t that the same tactic they complained about the insurgents in Iraq and now ISIS using?

  • Steverino247
  • Belasaurius

    let the A-10 Warthog solve this for us

    • A_Z_4
      • Belasaurius

        dammit

        • A_Z_4

          Somehow the mods seemed to know ahead of time. I don’t think
          there was actually a reference to any of that in older comments, but
          maybe I missed seeing them.

      • elpinche

        As long as it’s funny, go for it. Ask for forgiveness later.

        • A_Z_4

          I just thought it was funny that the original suggestion was something listed by the mods in their comment like they knew ahead of time.

          Then again I’ve not been visiting this website until quite recently so maybe A-10s or bears are the commenters here go to solutions for everything until the mods reign them in.

          Ignore my other reply to your other comment, it was referring to the same thing.

  • Wally Iverson

    I can taste your fear…

    • Belasaurius

      fear of what? Laughing ourselves into involuntarily pissing our pants?

      • Wally Iverson

        Feeble hipsters mock what they fear most. Ive lived amongst your kind for many years

        • Belasaurius

          what we fear are some hardworking law enforcement officers might get shot by one of these Hee Haw refugees. Or one of the children they are hiding behind getting hurt.

          • dshwa

            I do fear that they’ll get worse as they get more desperate. Their beliefs are not held by even close to the majority they think they have, and their power depends on a slowly unraveling rigged Congressional District system. A handful of Tim McVeighs wannabes could do a lot of damage even though they’d fail spectacularly at overthrowing the government.

        • NorthStarSpanx

          Wally is a social scientist, if science was a thing, along with delusional projection. These guys are blips, but they think they are the second coming.

        • vivian

          Actually I make it point to mock pretty much everything. But I reserve my Constitutionally Guaranteed™ Right® to mock self-aggrandizing cretins especially much. Thanks! Have a nice day!

        • kaw143

          Why should I mock? It’s a mockery already.

        • elpinche

          “Ive lived amongst…”
          Like rape-van-down-by-the-river amongst?

          • vivian

            The Candy Man in the Candy Van! I thought I recognized that raspy voice!

          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            “Ive lived amongst your kind for many years”

            How did you not manage to learn a little English in all that time?

        • w9anthimos

          I remember when you used to live amongst us…

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          LOL – what I most fear from these goobers is having to read about them. Even if it’s just “Day 94: Bundy nuts still there; federal marshals back away from downwind.”

        • therblig

          hey, i watched “true detective” season 2, too.

          The war was lost
          The treaty signed
          I was not caught
          I crossed the line
          I was not caught
          Though many tried
          I live among you
          Well disguised
          I had to leave
          My life behind
          I dug some graves
          You’ll never find
          The story’s told
          With facts and lies
          I have a name
          But nevermind

          • Vienna Woods

            Truly, the only thing worth watching in the whole season was the opening credits. Long live Leonard.

    • Lemmy Caution

      Yeah, I’m afraid they’re gonna poach some deer near me and start a fire to cover their crime.

      • A_Z_4

        This made me laugh.

    • thenearesthippie

      That’s not our fear. That taste in your mouth is the result of you sucking your thumb after playing in your own feces.

    • vivian

      Actually what you’re tasting is tedium.

    • kaw143

      You are eating a KFC Double Down?

      https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Z8oRWfH8mKw/maxresdefault.jpg

      Because, seriously, there is nothing to fear but a KFC Double Down.

      (Back me up on this, Pinkham. . .)

      • thenearesthippie

        Fer crissakes, point that thing somewhere else!

        • kaw143

          No need to fear! I am, of course, a part of a militia, fully trained in the use of KFC Double Downs. Mind you, many of my brethren have been felled by friendly heart attacks, but that in no way is a reflection any lack of responsibility, on our part.

          • HenryKillinger

            Truly, you fine folks are heroes. Keep the streets clear of bad guys with Double Downs, sir/madam.

      • theCryptofishist

        Wait, is that a hot dog in a deep fried waffle? WTF?

        • kaw143

          The Double Down product line (yes, there was more than one) consisted of sandwiches where the bun had been replaced by deep fried chicken patties. YUM, YUM!

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            My experience with KFC is that those patties are 90% greasy batter and 10% chicken-like white material. Nutrition-wise, they could just batter and deep-fry the damned hot dog & bun, and end up with almost the same product.

          • eddi

            Corn dog libelz! I think.

      • dshwa

        I think I had a coronary just from looking at that thing.

    • Enfant Terrible

      Hi! Be sure to buy a T-shirt or a mug before you leave, OK?

    • margd

      This is snark, right?

    • doktorzoom

      Bye, Meigs.

    • elpinche

      Is it salty and sweaty? Is smell also involved?

    • dshwa

      Yes, Wally has found us out. We quake in our Uggs in terror at the merest mention of the Y’allquada.

      No wait, it was just gas from the artisinal chicken we had for dinner.

  • jviscont1

    Say what you will about their objectives, but Occupy Wall St had better amenities.

  • Lemmy Caution

    Hey dough boy — way to deface the flag. Pretty sure Old Glory doesn’t include two pale nipples.

    • data_ninja

      Well, Betsy Ross did accidentally stitch in her own on some early flag attempts, but the history books tend to leave those kinds of stories out.

      • Gives new meaning to “Don’t tread on me!”

      • Lemmy Caution

        Didn’t know that – thanks for keeping me abreast of the situation.

  • Randall Meadows

    Janet Reno knows how to handle this type of situation.

  • vivian

    Howzabout we just ignore these fuckheads and let Darwin and the abundance of firearms work it out for us?

  • Cranky Man

    Bovine lives matter, sheeple.

  • danah gaz ❤?❤

    Nothing says “I mean business” like a “hostile occupation” of a wildlife sanctuary.

  • Cranky Man

    Tell you what, BLM and other US law enforcement folks have dealt with with much tougher assholes than these posers.

  • Markuserektus

    Bust out the brain bleach…

    • Steverino247

      Sadly, he took his own life after taking that photo.

      • vivian

        or perhaps slightly before…

      • theCryptofishist

        It was just take, take, take with him.

      • eddi

        Coroner ruled accidental discharge.

        • Steverino247

          Death while stroking. Wouldn’t be the first time, I guess.

    • kaw143

      He wore an itsy-bitsy, teeny weeny, traitor flag rag bikini!

      • Steverino247

        Best comment (so far) of 2016. Right fucking there.

        • kaw143

          Say, Dok, would you just edit out that parenthetical for me?

        • theCryptofishist

          It is a superior comment.

        • eddi

          That’s gonna take a lot of work to top. and Markuserektus owes me 2 cups of brain bleach.

    • OctopiRage

      Totally disproves the micropenis thing…

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        Really. Nobody, and I mean nobody wants to take that flag down, bro.

        No wonder He feels the need for heavy armament.

  • SadDemInTex

    The Texassss open carry loons are going to do this…will it be Palo Duro? Big Bend? Chipolte? IDK…but they will do something

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    That militia standoff manifesto video statement is like 80% pregnant pauses. Back in my day revolutionaries were required to take a public speaking course. What has become of the world????

    • Steverino247

      No shit, man. They even wrote manifestos!

      • eddi

        With actual grammatical sentences. And sometimes even Latin quotes.

        • dshwa

          For a given value of “grammatical”

          • eddi

            I was referring to earlier manifestos. From a more graceful age. Marx and Engels were as full of it as any theoretician of economics but at least they could write and speak clearly.

          • dshwa

            Looking around at the country right now, in my estimation Marx got his diagnosis of how capitalism would fail the average worker pretty much spot on. His solution, however, was based on overlooking that the same underlying human behavior that would bring down capitalism (basically, the greed of those in power) would eventually corrupt a Communist system just as, if not more, easily.

    • kaw143

      Twitter?

    • theCryptofishist

      Back then being a revolutionary was a profession, and you went to college to learn how. Nowadays, it’s been downgraded into semi-skilled labor. Obviously.

      • kaw143

        It’s the Republican way.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Next step is to outsource it to China.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      It’s easy to speak fast in Spanish.

  • ZangoCrudmonger

    I live in Oregon and it happens my favorite city is Riley, which is just down the road towards Bend from Burns. Here’s a federal post office, one of two buildings in Riley. The other’s the gas station across the street. Perhaps Wonkette can occupy the post office and demand free federal land for us patriots. Perhaps buy a goat or two, get some subsidies, live extravagantly while rummaging the bins for tossed catalogs.

    • JohnnyZhivago2

      I demand franking privileges for all Americans!!!!

    • Suttree

      Only if the gas station sells liquor and rolling papers.

    • Gleem-McShinez

      NO FEDRAL LAND OWNERSHIP! GET THAT GUBMINT SHACK OFFA MAH RANCH

  • JohnnyZhivago2

    These patriots need some fashion sense!!! Black or brown shirts, jackboots (ok, running shoes for indoor events). A flashy hat and a sassy armband for taking things up a notch while occupying buildings or attending a Trump rally.

    • eddi

      American crazies have never been big on the uniform thing. A flag lapel pin on their cammies is getting all fancy.

  • JohnnyZhivago2

    Here’s a good start for Militia Ware (suitable for Trump or Cruz rallies). Ladies could wear pants or a skirt would be fabulous with knee high boots:
    http://orig09.deviantart.net/cd22/f/2014/019/0/d/sturmabteiling__sa__uniforms_by_l0ganstark-d72vbj0.png

  • Jukesgrrl

    Isn’t one of the first steps in these cases to move in big speakers and blast music they won’t like 24/7? What say you, Wonkeratti … the Boston Philharmonic or nonstop Kanye West or maybe that old pop song I Am Woman over and over and over. What would make these cowboys craziest?

    • Roni Raven

      Culture Club. Karma karma karma karma karma chameleonnnnnn….

    • Rotisserie Teal

      Helen at the Reddy Sir!

    • D_C_Wilson

      Fortunate Son by Creedance Clearwater Revival.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40JmEj0_aVM

    • theCryptofishist

      Broadway show tunes, heavy on the Annie.

      • kaw143

        But in all fairness, lots of Annie would make anyone crazy.

        UNLEASH THE ABBA!

        • D_C_Wilson

          Lee Greenwood would drive me out, but these goobers would probably like that crap.

        • Markuserektus

          Can you hear the drums Fernando…

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      Soundtrack from Brokeback Mountain?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Village People. 48 hours of “YMCA” should do it.

    • Markuserektus

      Nickelback…

      • HenryKillinger

        Oh come on, does the Geneva Convention mean nothing to you godless liberals!?

      • Mr Corrections

        Wow, you’re a bit of a bastard, aren’t you.

      • Jennaratrix

        They’d probably like Nickelback…

        • Mickey Donovan

          Cruel and unusual punishment comes to mind…

    • dshwa

      A little techno dance music never hurt anyone.

    • Calli Arcale

      Easy: Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing on Rainbows. Endless loop.

      https://youtu.be/qRC4Vk6kisY

  • Juan de Fuca

    New T-shirt idea – “I broke into a federal bird sanctuary and all I got was a year in jail and 5 years probation.”

    Hell of a resume builder for a 40 year old. Winning.

    • harryeagar

      Don’t these guys have some playoff games to watch or something?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Do they actually get to keep the orange shirts?

  • D_C_Wilson

    I’ll bet if we tell local law enforcement that there’s a 12-year-old black kid with a toy gun in the building, they’ll storm it in a heartbeat.

    • eddi

      I dunno. The local sheriff seems to have his shit together. Hell even the Portland PD isn’t particularly noted for being trigger-happy. They have some bad doings on the books but it ain’t Chicago or New York.

  • D_C_Wilson

    The Oregon militia dudes are willing to become martyrs for the cause. And if they die, each will receive 72 cousins in Heaven.

    • eddi

      Please! These assclowns are out-of-staters. We have home-grown militia crazies, in fact Oregon was a spawning ground for them. But most are old farts and are keeping a low profile.

      • D_C_Wilson

        Doesn’t matter where they are from. They’ll still get their 72 cousins.

        • eddi

          Wait until they get there and find they are all related. “I said cousins. I didn’t say women.”

    • harryeagar

      Girl cousins?

      • D_C_Wilson

        I don’t judge.

  • If these clowns’ fantasy league constitution was real, the government would have already sold that land to someone who wasn’t them. And that owner wouldn’t allow any fahng-tzong fung-kwong duh jeh backbirths to trespass and freeload on their land.

    • Dr. Krieger IRL

      You’ve made me want to rewatch Firefly.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    And the new year’s first “no true responsible gun owner” story is already in hand:
    “A man shot and killed his wife and two others in his home in eastern Los
    Angeles County on New Year’s Eve before his son wrestled the gun away
    and fatally shot him after a possible dispute over a washing machine,
    authorities said.”

    On the bright side, they were had been protected from a home invasion.

    http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/national-international/Two-Killed-in-Rowland-Heights-Shooting-363976101.html
    (Heads-up: idiot site has auto-play video.)

  • atheist

    if this was a bunch of hippies taking over federal property, they would be dead be now. Funny how that works.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Pepper-sprayed into submission more likely – but the contrast stands.
      Might have something to do with the fact that the Occupy folks weren’t waving AR-15s around.

  • Darth Penguin

    Yes, these folk are frauds, and it’s sad that someone privileged enough to own their own ranch can manage to fool impoverished rural communities into thinking that they’re ‘one of them’. But it shouldn’t be surprising, and urban progressives take some of the blame for designating the rural working class as a ‘legitimate out-group’, mocking them in the same breath as asking why they keep voting against their interests.

    There’s something ugly about having a group of highly-educated individuals from secure-to-affluent families critique the behaviour of those with far less social and financial capital. Sure – it isn’t as ugly as, say, racism against blacks in those same rural communities. But oppression isn’t a competition, and frankly it’s those who run the system who should bare the blame for the structural oppressions therein. University educated, upper/middle-class progressives might not have as much political power as the corporate conservatives, but they’ve got significant power all the same, whereas these people have none.

    As long as you have regional poverty, there will be people who attribute that poverty to the wrong reasons. Surprisingly, angry people tend not to be very good at rationally directing their anger at appropriate targets. In the cases you mention, they’re targeting the only groups further down than they are, i.e. the only ones that they can get away with targeting.

    It probably doesn’t help that you guys (i.e. the US – not from there, thankfully) have a bizarre political axis, in which you’ve managed somehow to remove all talk of ‘class’ from socialism, and in which you only ever seem to pay the faintest of lip-service to intersectionality. As a result, the people carrying out this kind of prejudice are somehow lumped in as ‘privileged’, despite having minimal tertiary education and few long-term prospects (again, taking intersectionality seriously might help – just because they’re white and male doesn’t make them any less class-oppressed).

    Add to this, that the very groups who claim to champion the working class seem, in the US, to have a pathological disdain for those disadvantaged enough to lack tertiary education, and you end up with a bunch of people who certainly don’t feel very privileged, and who find themselves caught between corporate assholes on the right and condescending jerks on the left – and if there’s one thing that brings the corporate assholes and the condascending jerks together, it’s outrage at the plebs (whether in the trailer-park or the ghetto) having the nerve to speak for themselves.

    Yeah, that doesn’t excuse their bigotry, just like structural oppression of blacks doesn’t excuse individual criminality. But it explains it, and for the same reasons. Personally, I take the view that anti-social behaviour is typically a product of environment and structural oppression, but some of my fellow travellers on the left always seem to take up the ‘individual choice/responsibility’ mantra whenever we’re talking about groups that they don’t like.

    If you genuinely want to improve things, rather than point and laugh at the out-group, then maybe think about why it is that your criticism of them is so often full of class/education/poverty-laden references (eg ‘trailer trash’ – as though persistent financial and educational disadvantage is a product of individual vice, instead of structural oppression). Again, not excusing their views or behaviour. But when it gets down to it, they aren’t the ones running the place, and aren’t likely to be unless the US has a workers’ revolution (and they’d still be a pretty small voice then, though they’d have more say than they do now). Recognise your own privilege, and stop assuming that every power structure you benefit from (class, education) is virtuous.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      Sounds good in theory.

      • Darth Penguin

        This is why I hate disquus. It’s too hard to set up accounts in the names of Lenny and Carl from the Simpsons, with appropriate pictures, to recreate the ‘Communism works, in theory’, ‘In theory’ scene.

    • HenryKillinger

      Well said. Like you said, far too many self-proclaimed social justice advocates fall victim to some of the same petty bullying and class bigotry they accuse the right wingers of.

      That’s one of the things I admire most about Bernie Sanders’ campaign thus far: he’s genuinely taking his message to as many people as he can, treating people with respect, and explaining the benefits of his policies without condescension. He’s catching flak for that from the Democratic core, with many saying he’s “wasting his time” and that “those idiots are a lost cause”, but I firmly believe that what he’s doing is necessary if the liberals and progressives in the US are ever going to get the country out of the full-on rightward spiral we’re in.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Post more. I like you.

      You made me think.

    • therblig

      If you haven’t already, read “Deer Hunting with Jesus” by the late Joe Bageant. Insightful stuff about how the GOP has convinced low info, low earning folks to continually vote against their own best interest, while the Dems mock them.

      • bookish

        Joe Bag. Miss him. RIP Joe.

  • Dr. Krieger IRL

    I was walking home from class a couple of months back and passed a decent-looking older pickup that I stopped to check out. The owner turned out to be nearby so I started shooting the breeze with him about it and the guy up and tries to recruit me into a militia group. No shit. I did my best to backpedal the offer and not offend the guy by telling him I was attending classes to become a Park Ranger for the government he’s opposed to. It was weird.
    Not that I was worried about hurting his feelings so much as I didn’t want to end up the Alec Guinness to his tin shed in the sun somewhere.

    • HenryKillinger

      That’s legitimately terrifying. I don’t even know how I’d respond to that.

      • Dr. Krieger IRL

        Right?

    • Lemmy Caution

      Nice ‘Bridge’ reference.

      • Dr. Krieger IRL

        Thanks. That’s a great film.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    What with a hyperactive El Nino this winter, they might find themselves buried in a couple of 8-foot snowfalls, and vanish until the spring thaw. I’m thinking Donner Party, 2016 edition.

    • willi0000000

      Donner, party of 12…

      Donner, party of 11…

      Donner, party of 10…

      Donner, party of 9…

      Donner, party of 8…

      Donner, party of 7…

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      Donner Party, but not as tasty.

      • willi0000000

        cafeteria food . . . eccch!

        [ UC Bolder Alferd Packer Restaurant & Grill ]

      • William_C_Diaz

        Im not sure about that, I have seen some awfully well marbled militiamen out there. A little Mountain Dew marinade and a good brining and you have got yourself a meal!

        Have a great day!

  • Anita Ledford

    If the land in question should go back to anyone it should go to Native Americans. That will shut the bundys up. And I will return to my people./s

    • Sal Corasaniti

      No, then the Bundys will get butthurt that “the Injuns got preference on OUR land!”

      Remember, they still think slavery was a good thing.

  • gene108

    I really really really want the Federal government to auction off Federal land to the highest bidder, because local wack-a-loon ranchers are not going to out bid billionaire real estate developers or MNC mineral and/or logging companies.

    The only way Federal land is going to end up in the hands of local ranchers is if the Feds interfere with the Free Market and restrict, who can bid on the land.

    • Mr Corrections

      That free sale, unfortunately, is exactly what the Kochs etc want also – that’s why they spend enormous sums of money empowering this bullshit.

      On the plus side, there’s nothing really stopping us from a full-scale communist revolt.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      The mineral rights are already gone, for the most part.

    • Sir Ergot of Rye

      Not the answer. You want Monsanto, Haliburton, Exxon et al to own an even huger chunk of America? Maybe just enforce the law. What a concept eh.

      • gene108

        Most of these nut jobs don’t realize the only reason they have access to these lands at all is because the Feds own it.

        Turn it over to private ownership and the big money will lock them out.

        It’s a hypothetical be careful what you wish for scenario.

  • FukuiSanYesOta

    I couldn’t take much of that Jon Ritzheimer video.

    That guy needs mental health help. Do we talk about this? Yes. Is it too soon? NO FUCKING NO THIS GUY IS GOING TO BREAK SOON. He’s wrong in the head. That’s a martyr-style goodbye video.

    If you need me, I’ll be repeatedly ramming my head into my desk.

    • Jamsie

      Yeah, that guy’s fuse is getting very short. Just like his dick.

      He’s going to do harm, it’s just a matter of time.

    • Relativicus

      You’re probably correct, but for now, I just see an attention whore attempting to make himself important by making public pronouncements about the things he’s going to do that he never actually does, or does poorly.

    • Sir Ergot of Rye

      He promises to fight to the death to which I say, “oh please do.”

      • LadyLaz

        The problem is that people who say stuff like that tend to take people, usually civilians, with them.

        • William_C_Diaz

          I believe this guy is going to ‘cook off’ as well, which is why it is probably better that he is cordoned off and under direct law enforcement observation.

          If he was roaming around free, then it is quite likely he would end up hurting or killing someone (my fear is that it would be his wife and child). But now that he is effectively ‘arrested’ by virtue of being in the bird sanctuary, the people he faces are helpless women and children, but professionals with ballistic armor and long rifles.

          I am ok with this guy getting dead. although I am not fond of unnecessary violence. It is his goal to die and martyr himself and he has certainly put himself in an excellent position to make that happen.

          Have a great day!

          • Mickey Donovan

            You have to wonder if there is any in that bunch that think maybe some the others are just a little too nuts even for them.

          • essbird

            Nah, he’ll run out of Bud Light and Slim Jims and come out.

    • Going to break? This crackpot has been in need of some glue a long time ago.

  • Mr Corrections

    I’ve seen a number of wingnuts screeching about “double jeopardy” re: the Hammonds having to go back to jail despite having already served some time. Sorry, no: this is a direct result of the minimum mandatory sentences that got added to various laws from the 1950s onwards, usually as a thinly-veiled attempt to punish minorities – it doesn’t stop applying simply because the criminals are white this time.

    • Little_Big_Tug

      It’s all President Bob Dole’s fault!

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    “Territory or other Property…”

    I wonder what part of “or” they can’t figure out.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      The same part as “regulated.”

      • Relativicus

        That’s “well-regulated.” It refers to militia water sources. Everybody knows that.

        • eddi

          More like their beer supply.

  • tman2

    Cut the water and electricity to the facility. Surround the facility with concertina wire. Then wait for the terrorists to die. Easy peasy!

  • Relativicus

    Taking over an abandoned, remote building during a holiday week? So bravery. Such couragerosity.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      Just today I proclaimed myself King of Mybackyard.

      • WIDTAP

        Good. Now the Queen of Yourbackyard wants you to put away the lawnmower and all the other junk you left out there before the damn snow hits.

        • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

          You must know her!

          • Mickey Donovan

            We all know her! She is everywhere!

  • chiefkurtz

    Nothing screams stone cold badass like a song from the musical ‘Annie’ tattooed on your chest. https://youtu.be/-0bOH8ABpco

  • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

    Well, that makes 24 hours out in the cold. How many have quit so far?

  • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

    And has Fox compared them to Rosa Parks yet? If not, why not?

    • revenant

      Fox News- flicking matches at the gas tank for 20+ years

  • Sir Ergot of Rye

    So this is what a “well regulated militia” looks like. I’ve always wondered.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      More like a “well lubricated” militia.

    • Hardly Ideal

      I hate to repeat myself*, but can we at least get a well-medicated militia? These squirrelly motherfuckers need to calm down.

      *not really, actually. #SorryNotSorry

  • Stein Olsen

    How many of these brave warriors fell taking this empty and closed building?

    • Lemmy Caution

      A total of three — two on the icy sidewalk and one guy who tripped on a curb while carrying a Freedom cooler full of Slim Jims and Mountain Dew.

  • WIDTAP

    Since these brave souls wish to challenge the Federal Government’s right to own land, and they are willing to fight and die for that cause (with votes, I assume), perhaps they would like show their courage by occupying an active US military base.

    • eddi

      Area 51 springs to mind. Roaches check in…

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        Plenty to choose from in Nevada. Google Earth for Yucca Flat Airport and zoom in north of that area. Glowing sand, indeed.

    • Stein Olsen

      Of course they won’t. That shit is dangerous.

  • Lizzietish81
    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      And as many teeth.

    • Sal Corasaniti

      Sisters/Brothers would fit better.

    • Gleem-McShinez

      Cousins? Everone knows virgins ain’t knowin how teh fuck worth a shit, but Cousin Bertie? WOOOOEEEE

    • Hardly Ideal

      Looks like the rest of 2016’s hashtags already have some tough competition.

  • WIDTAP

    I don’t mean to offend any of our transgendered or transvestite brethren with the comparison, but with Ritzheimer’s narrow shoulders, I don’t think that tattoo gives him the “butch” presence he was looking for.

    • sillyclucker

      He obviously played Little Orphan Annie in the play as a child.

  • BPMM

    I say let’s use those unregulated assault rifles purchased at the local gun show and mow them all down….in the spirit of “stand your ground.” Now I understand why we shouldn’t support any additional gun control laws.

    • Hardly Ideal

      Killing ’em would be just what every nihilist whackjob wants, but I wonder how fast they’d scatter if someone sent a few rounds over their heads. They talk a good fight, but even a gorilla with a rock for a brain can beat its chest.

  • Karen Nickles

    ❝my neighbor’s stride mother is making 98$ HOURLY on the internet❞….

    A few days ago new McLaren F1 subsequent after earning 18,512$,,,this was my previous month’s paycheck ,and-a little over, 17k$ Last month ..3-5 h/r of work a day ..with extra open doors & weekly paychecks.. it’s realy the easiest work I have ever Do.. I Joined This 7 months ago and now making over 87$, p/h.Learn More right Here
    4tof…….
    ➤➤
    ➤➤➤ http://GlobalSuperEmploymentVacanciesReportsiNfo/GetPaid/98$hourly❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.❦.

    • chascates

      I’m not a stride mother but could I make 98$ hourly as well?

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        Sure, and new McLaren F1 subsequent as well!

        • sillyclucker

          And you don’t even have to know how to spel.

          • just_jim

            and Random capitalization Is also Fine.

        • ahughes798

          I’m in if I get a McLaren F1.

      • Bill Slider

        The easiest work I have ever Do says it all, doesn’t it?

        • Mickey Donovan

          With extra open doors, no less!!

  • chascates

    The Bill of Rights guarantees me the pursuit of happiness, i.e., plenty of good cannabis. And I want it delivered, jack-booted thugs.

  • Lizzietish81

    I just wandered over to yahoo and saw this story. Even those commenters (with the obvious exception of one or two) think these guys are stupid.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      So we finally found bottom?

      • Stein Olsen

        Don’t give up hope yet. There are new depths to be reached.

      • Orphic Dragon

        No. Just a lower level landing with a sturdy support.

    • Gleem-McShinez

      Oh shit, those comments are the last visible edge of the Derp Singularity. Beyond that point, no intelligence can even escape. BE CAREFUL

  • hollydturner

    I just read the best Tweeter post on these A Idiots “You know you’re a badass Tea party patriot when your militia takes over an unprotected bird sanctuary”.

    • essbird

      Seriously, it ain’t white thing either. If they were a bunch of enviro-hippies, the response would’ve been about the same as for the blahs. Dead or at least seriously gassed and nightstuck. Sticked. Whatever.

  • Redgyal

    It’s almost as if they felt they were entitled to a certain type of privilege that others don’t have.

    • DahBoner

      Why WHITE on WHITE earth WHITE would WHITE you WHITE think WHITE that?

    • Is there any way we could claim that they’re White In Name Only?

  • Paperless Tiger

    The best thing for the property would be to let them stay there long enough to eat all the gophers and then move in.

  • Bill Slider

    Ammon, sounds sorta Muslimy to me. But those two nipples in the middle of that flag tattoo are so fapping hot. Eye bleach, please.

  • DahBoner

    The latest Terrorist fashion: Plaid shirts, boots and cowboy hat.

    Work it baby!!!!!1!1!
    https://media3.giphy.com/media/xT77XWum9yH7zNkFW0/200w_d.gif

  • BearGHAZI

    I thought Weisenheimer’s youtube vid was subbed ‘BTM Alert.’ Which makes a lot more sense (sorry bottoms)

  • Jen_Baker_VA

    Jesus fuck, are these guys gonna see the inside of the Fed Pen NOW please?
    Nothing for breaking the law, nothing for pointing weapons at and threatening Federal Agents…an armed invasion of a building should at the very least get the dogs and tear gas, like the unarmed occupy movement did, no?
    If not, the FBI should borrow the LAPd for a few minutes

    • just_jim

      Not enough.

      Borrow Ferguson Police, and issue them brown tinted glasses.

      • Hardly Ideal

        Fear Goggles for some, miniature American flags for everyone else?

  • Maggie Cooper

    ‘Here’s hoping the idiots don’t start tearing up protected wildlife habitat just to prove that We The People have dominion over migratory birds.’
    That is my biggest fear about this nonsense. I think that FBI, DEA, ATF all have learned to back away from these armed lunatics. Real bad pr.

  • Incoming Ham

    OMG I didn’t know what the name of that wildlife refuge was until now. It’s Malheur. That is French for misfortune or sadness. Good luck pardners.

  • toomanyrappers

    They should take over Rocky Flats. ;)

  • Anna_in_pdx

    I wanted to share this statement from the Audubon Society. Thanks for this article, as always, I don’t comment often but I always read Wonkette and appreciate it so much as an island of funny sanity in the fever swamp of right wing propaganda.
    http://audubonportland.org/news/audubon-society-of-portland-statement-on-the-occupation-of-malheur-national-wildlife-refuge

    • doktorzoom

      I like birders in general; I’ll never forget the elderly couple who camped next to us in Arizona ages ago; after getting their campsite set up, they read to each other from their bird books.

      Apologies to a fine waterfowl for calling the militia nutters loons.

  • CatCope

    Dey gots BBIIIGGG guns & a manifesto so U better watch it!!!!!

  • zanzibar_buckbuck_mcfate

    The hypocrisy of calling the Oregon militia “peaceful protestors” while calling Tamir Rice armed and dangerous will go down in history. Honestly, these times are as full of hatred, violence, and contradiction as the civil rights era.

    • CEG2010

      Sad but true

  • Antimassacree

    150 by their account versus 15 from reporters on the scene.

    The loons are taking into account that each has the stench of ten men.

  • Lemmy Caution

    I think the Bundy bros mistook the Refuge Center for a refugee center and are confused that there are no Syrians anwhere to be found. So they’re making up the whole “Federal tyranny must end — give us back our laaaaannnnnd!” schtick as cover.

    • CEG2010

      Best comment yet!

  • smitallica

    The Constitution is absolutely sacrosanct until the 9 people appointed to interpret it say it includes protection for gay people who want the same rights as straight people and then FUCK YOU.

    • blaid droog

      Really, only 5 of them cared a fuck about us fags. The other 4 would sooner see us dead.

  • not productive

    Oh for shit’s sake. Pretend instead of a bunch of spoiled white shits a couple muslims had taken over a government building. Drone the living shit out of them. Enough of this nonsense. You have killer sky robots, Obama. Just use them. You’re not running again. Why do you care?

    • Hardly Ideal

      I’m assuming that’s what these shit-kickers want, and who is Barry to satisfy retrogrades like them? Besides, I don’t think the wages of breaking and entering is death.

      • not productive

        Oh, sure, be REASONABLE. pfft.

      • ahughes798

        But Treason is.

  • Moraliae

    I think the best bet is to keep them contained and out of everyone’s hair until rations get low…then start having barbecues upwind.

    • Yup. Cut the power and phone lines, no one goes in or out, and just let them sit there. Heck, I’m sure the FBI can jam cell phones in the area. They’ll just be in there all by their lonesomes and eventually they’ll get bored and hungry. But make sure that they know they have to stay in there. Heck, we got time…

    • Jason Blue Eyes

      Then they’ll have to resort to eating each other like in that “Alive” movie.

  • Avelhingst

    Vanilla ISIS

  • Lemmy Caution

    What’s up with that guy’s pale nipples? They don’t even point in the same direction. What, has he got a lazy nipple?

  • Jason Blue Eyes

    WUGS (white thugs).

  • River CitySlicker

    If these clowns were brandishing toy guns, this Redneck Rebellion would be over in just a few seconds.

  • seldom seen smith

    Kill them all.

    • doktorzoom

      I believe I warned you (or someone writing exactly the same thing) earlier that we don’t wish death on anyone here. Please review the rules.

      Also, Doc Sarvis had a hard and fast rule against killing people. You’re insulting my man Ed Abbey with that username.

      — Doktor Zoom, Yr Friendly Neighborhood Comments moderator.

      • seldom seen smith

        Not me amigo. If you had I wouldn’t have posted that. As far as insulting Ed…first off I applaud the fact that you are a fan. And maybe Doc did, but what about Hayduke. Let me revise that statement then and simply pray for a pre-cision earthquake underneath those ‘patriots’.

        • doktorzoom

          Well, OK, no hard feelings then. Follow the rules and you’re welcome aboard the adobe houseboat.

  • Helena

    http://www.hcn.org/issues/20/582 – This is apparently not the first time the Hammonds have had to fight for their right to use federal land for whatever they want, dammit. It is now clear to me that heck, if I want to go use my next door neighbor’s bathtub, I’m just gonna break into their house and do it because that house is near my house and must therefore belong to me. In a less flippant thing, it does seem like these dudes are awfully possessive about some land that has not been theirs since at least 1994.

  • blaid droog

    What’s with that guys upper front teeth? He looks like a rodent.

  • Jj

    u guys are retarted hammonds are inocent

    • jeinsj

      yor spelang is good liek yor thowt prcess is gud

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        Is you representin the size of his punus with yur fingies? Ur his inktellect?

        • jeinsj

          Both.

    • Angela P. Woodrat

      Doesn’t really matter how anyone feels about it, except for the judge. The Hammonds have publicly stated they don’t want anything to do with your friends. Good for them.

    • Liz

      English, please.

    • Susan

      That isn’t what a Jury of their peers found.

  • jeinsj

    That’s the angriest Annie fan you’ll ever see.

  • Stein Olsen
  • Stein Olsen
    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      It does somehow seem that all those kids who were too stupid to finish 8th grade civics class are now constitutional scholars…

      • Actually I worked for a Judge for 20 years and have documented facts to back up my research proving that many of the states whom allegedly ratified the 14th Amendment took to their house floors to rescind and reject it based on fraud and usurpation ……I know that ought to get all of your knopickers in a twist, so I used the most easily provable historical lie I could think of. You people say that you are against the 1%, yet you buy all their bullshit like how the 14th made people equal……when it made us all equally debt slaves with unlawful Nationalized Citizenship (Communist Citizenship) and set us all up for the Federal Reserve. You people are the poster children for useful idiots. And YES …..I was at HARNEY COUNTY RESOURCE CENTER!!!!
        My IQ is far above average, and if can back up everything I say with government documents and evidence where all you idiots have is name calling and MARXIST Critical theory.

        • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

          Go fuck yourself you ignorant jerkoff. Not only have I studied governance extensively (one of my degrees is in political science), but I spent 35 years in the DoD, 20 on active duty flying F-111s in North America, Europe and Asia, and in staff tours in the USAF and NATO, and another 15 in a senior civil service career authoring operational plans and orders for European forces.

          You people are too stupid to recognize how ignorant and brain washed you actually are (see also Dunning–Kruger effect, then look in the mirror), or recognize the most obvious things about your government and the larger world around you. Here’s a free test for you: http://www.projectionpoint.com/

          • None of the so called experience you mentioned is relevant, although I am happy for you…….it took a friend at the US ARMY WAR COLLEGE about 3 years to pour over our research and he was blown away. You were a government employee. The government lies its ass off as a matter of fact. As a matter of its origin. Our Founders warned us of the evil nature of government. I am suprised that you do not heed anything that they stated as plain truth and fact. My experience is with and in the law, period Congressional /Senate / House documents ..CRS reports…..the really sad fact ishat all of the background you revealled to me speaks volumes of your indoctrination. One can not expect a career military man to have the truth about our history as the government wants you to perform X Y & Z – and as such …..they will train you to do your job, and keep your mouth shut and obey orders. This is factual. So while I am sorry that you can not see past this indoctrination, I assure you that I have documents that would as a matter of fact FRACTURE your beliefs as to what your government history was really about.

            One tidbit….. 11 States delegates were FORCED OUT AT GUNPOINT, of a Constitutional Amendment process….. Which one was it ? Do you even know?
            It was treason by any standard and caused major backlash legislation on order to prevent it from happening again…… There is your hint.

            If you can not answer the question….I suggest coming to me next time in a friendly manner and I will gladly share with you all the information I have…..but to refuse to even see it and then to claim you KNOW ……is only based on Cognitive dissonance or IGNORANCE

          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            Hey there li’l wingnut! It’s been 90 days. Did they finally let you out of rehab?

            “…many of the states whom…” “My IQ is far above average…” See if you can figure out why these two statements are at odds. Hint: you are semi-illiterate which, unfortunately, does not prevent you from typing endless drivel. States are things, not people.

            “None of the so called experience you mentioned is relevant…” Yeah, you don’t learn a fucking thing from studying your own government for four years and participating in it for another 35 years.

            “it took a friend at the US ARMY WAR COLLEGE…” Why is his experience at Army War College more valuable than mine in the USAF? You realize that nearly all field grade officers with potential attend War College, don’t you?

            “…they will train you to do your job, and keep your mouth shut and obey orders. This is factual.” How would you know how they train you or whether your unfounded opinion is factual if you have never even set foot in a fighter squadron? Sorry, jerkoff, the people I flew with and trusted my life to on a daily basis are all smarter than you, and a shitload more trustworthy as well.

            As I stated above, “You people are too stupid to recognize how ignorant and brain washed you actually are (see also Dunning–Kruger effect, then look in the mirror), or recognize the most obvious things about your government and the larger world around you. Here’s a free test for you: http://www.projectionpoint.com…”

            Take the test, wingnut, and let us know how you did.

  • mlaiuppa

    “My Daddy invaded a Federal Wildlife Refuge and looted their gift shop and all I got was this lousy T-shirt.”

    • twisbitten

      LMAO!!! Good one.

  • Stein Olsen

    The Onion may have found out what they really demand. $5 million in cash and safe passage back to 1874.

  • Stein Olsen

    I am having problems leaving this topic it seems. Made a little something.

    http://i.imgur.com/H54w8KD.jpg

  • Lickylick

    The author of this article (if it can be called that) is totally biased and very obviously writing in favor of the gov’t. The gov’t is always right, can do no wrong, and anyone who has grievances against the gov’t is a looney, or domestic terrorist.
    This work of propaganda is yet another in along list of continuous hit pieces put out over every form of media available. The gov’t is shameless in its continuous efforts to paint anyone being unfairly treated by them as crazy or extremist. Every single point made in this hit piece is easily refuted with facts. Facts of course mean nothing to a tyrant gov’t intent on retaining its power over you. Go read and learn the constitution. It is after all the supreme law of the land and any laws made in pursuance of can not over ride it without being an amendment to it. Ask yourself why was alcohol prohibition done as an amendment and the entire drug wars was not? The drug wars are an illegal and unconstitutional action on the part of the federal gov’t. Same as many other acts, mandates, statutes, clauses etc.etc. etc. passed under the color of law and declared to be laws. So yeah, go and read the constitution and learn what it means and what it actually is saying. Then spit in the face of people like this author who obviously has no respect for the constitution or the people of this country. The federal gov’t was created by the colonies. The federal gov’t is not sovereign. It is a creation of the sovereign citizens.

    • Liz

      Are you one of those brokeback dudes at the wildlife refuge?

  • Lickylick

    Bunch of pussy liberals commenting on this hit piece against individuals with real grievances against a gov’t run amok. The article glossed over one fun filled fact that the gov’t is just now trying to throw these two men in jail for a made up offense (actually two separate ones, one from five years and one from ten years ago) of arson. The truth about these charges is that they informed the BLM of their intent to burn and received the go ahead to do so. That both times, the burned acres were confined to their property save but about ten acres and that no one or their property was ever in danger or harmed. The gov’t has conveniently “lost” the paperwork giving their okay to the burn the ranchers did, but furthermore is bringing this case more than ten years after the fact. That is tyranny.

    • Liz

      You might want to go and lickylick your man-babes holed up at he scary refuge.

    • jenny_whyme

      I bet you “know” all this because you read it on the interwebz, right? So it must be true.

      Did it ever occur to you that poachers and arsonists might fib a little a bit in an effort to stay out of jail?

      • That was a rumor, as opposed to FACTS, like the fire that spread was not long burning enough to burn the evidence of poaching (bones) – signed a retired disabled firefighter…….any actual EVIDENCE of your defaming garbage? No.

        • Barry Hamilton

          Bones aren’t evidence of poaching because the last time I checked, animals die. But the *way* they died… now THAT could be evidence of poaching, and a fire would certainly destroy such evidence.

  • CATMAN

    Could we require guys like this to have “Loser” tattooed on their forehead so we wouldn’t have to wait until they opened their mouths so we could run the other way?

  • The shame of it is the amount of bald faced lies in this article will be eaten up by a bunch of ideological historically ignorant progressive communists who could give a damn about the Constitution or the real history that got us here. There have been more public officials who have come forward to tell the truth about the destruction of their towns and industry, as well as the misuse of power in thuggish ways to economically terrorize and completely ruin and frustrate many of these people. It makes me sick that people can accept so many bald faced lies without presenting any more evidence than “Federal Agents said so”. Bush was a scum bag, and I was man enough to stand against him and say so as a Conservative, but it seems as though liberals are just fine with the Federal Government misusing its power to flood and burn ranchers out without charge, but ranchers save their home and one idiot at the BLM floats a rumor about poaching (wild fires do not burn the evidence of poaching…….BONES you IDIOTS……and that rumor was squashed with ZERO to back it up, but a fire that actually did almost burn their home down was a fact. I pray that you people never have the knock on your door by some agent trying to kick u out of your home, or in an attempt to steal your property, but if you do, do well to remember the BS memes like welfare rancher to people who have not only paid their taxes, but who have paid dearly while the agents who have done far worse escape prosecution. You people have no clue about history or you would know that the same people you really stand against, the 1% are the same bankers who forced the 14th Amendment into law destroying local accountability and creating a Communist Nationalized Citizenship, to later install the Communist Central Bank as described in the Communist manifesto. Your utopia gives you no right to steal from. Hard working ranchers. Thieves and morally bankrupt

    • Susan

      see a psychiatrist and then go take a “US Government for Dummies” course.

      • Nope. I teach history……and I use actual CRS reports and house and senate records……I do not rely on Tax Exempt Foundation created curriculim writen by Marxists …… That being said. My comment in no way was reflective of a mental disorder. But I see you wasted no time going right to the level of childish and hateful insults…….way to go. You wasted no hateful time. Peace to you…..I wish you happiness and live. May the Lord bless you and shine His light upon you.

  • Alkebu

    Stealing is how this nation was founded…. so what is so new about this idea….

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