Bernie Sanders: Today We Are All Hillary's Disgusting Va-Jay-Jay

I too have tinkled

Awww, you guys, this is nice. Despite all the shots fired last week, after it was revealed that some bad apples on the Bernie Sanders campaign helped themselves to Hillary Clinton's private voter information, the disarrayed Democrats have kissed and made up. At least for the purposes of defending Hillary Clinton's lady hole.

After classless putz Donald Trump culturally misappropriated and misused the Yiddish noun for "dick" as a verb -- which is not a thing, and stop trying to make "schlonged" happen -- and further pronounced the very thought of Clinton making a tinkle "disgusting," Uncle Bernie told an assembled crowd of Berners at a Tuesday rally that Trump is the disgusting one:

"I don't know what his relationship with women has been like, but he has discovered that women go to the bathroom, and it's very upsetting for him."

Haha, sick BERN! Especially because while Sanders may be too much of A Lady to say so, Trump is infamous for, among other things, being a adulterous multi-married pig whose best opposite-sex relationship is with his daughter, Ivanka, a sexxxy that he would totally hit , for her hotness, EWWWWW GROSS.

The great socialist even called on women (and friends of women) of the world to unite:

Sanders noted that he, like Clinton, also went the bathroom during the debate, but somehow Trump wasn't disgusted by that.

“I've got to be honest with you. I've got to lay it out on the table: I also went to the bathroom,” Sanders said. “I know. I have to admit it.”

Such a mensch, that Bernie Sanders. You know who is not a mensch? This schmuck:  

Guess "Dr." Rand Paul thinks Carly Fiorina's va-holy-hole is manlier than Hillary's, so when Paul is forced to drop out of the Republican primary race (soon, so soon), he'll be encouraging all four of his supporters to get behind Fiorina, for her presidential ability to clench through it and hold it in or maybe just let her piss drizzle down her leg or oh god, why are we talking about this again? Ah, right, because thanks to Donald Trump and the Republican base's adoration of him, we have been reduced to a serious national conversation about dicks and girl dicks and whose pee is gross and whose pee is worthy of splashing into the executive washroom at the White House, and thanks Republicans. Thanks a lot.

[ HuffPo ]