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even dumber than chick tracts

Way back over Thanksgiving weekend when Robert Dear gunned down some people in a Planned Parenthood in Colorado, we pretended for approximately 2 milliseconds that America might have a conversation over the toxic intersection of guns, terribly retrograde and awful thinking about the autonomy of women’s bodies, and anti-clinic violence. Those were the days! But then some Muslins murdered people and we switched back to our regularly scheduled programming where we simultaneously live in pants-shitting terror of the amorphous idea of Muslims, yet completely ignore the actual factual reality of guns in America being easier to purchase than Star Wars: The Force Awakens tickets.

But the Planned Parenthood shootings were still rattling around the cavernous empty brain pan of Focus on the Family spokesperson Stuart Shepard, who is apparently still searching for a reason that Robert Dear gunned people down. Is it because he is a lady-beating piece of crap? Is it because fucksticks like Focus on the Family whipped him into thinking he saves babies by murdering adults? Naw, couldn’t be either of those things. What could it be? How about … demon weed??

Stuart speculated that Dear just “ended up at Planned Parenthood” and that he could have been having a “psychotic episode” caused by marijuana edibles.

“If you trace his path backwards from where he ended up at Planned Parenthood to that grocery store where the first person was shot and go back another half mile, you know what they sell there?” he asked. “It’s a couple of marijuana shops.”

“I don’t know the facts of this case,” he acknowledged, “but I’m sure law enforcement is looking into this, we’ve had multiple instances of people consuming what are called marijuana edibles … I’d just be curious to know if he stopped by one of those. We’ve had a number of folks who have eaten these things and then had psychotic episodes.”

Yes, we’re sure law enforcement is spending a lot of time looking into whether Robert Dear, a person who already admitted exactly why he committed his crime and whose sordid petty violent history completely comports with eventually shooting up a Planned Parenthood, was instead actually motivated to do so thanks only to weed candy.

You’d think that the Man From FOTF would have come up with a better idea than this, not because it is laughable on its face (although it totally is!) but because unlike, say, guns, the production and sale of marijuana edibles in Colorado is what we like to refer to as a highly regulated industry. But sure, let’s continue to speculate about completely absurd stuff like this rather than ever taking guns away from the likes of Robert Dear. Ain’t freedom grand?

[Right Wing Watch]

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  • Demon Weed has caused the Focus on the Family spokesdouche to shoot himself in the foot, with words.

    • Boscoe

      See?? He was right! Sort of…

  • Pinkham’s Law

    “we’ve had multiple instances of people consuming what are called marijuana edibles”

    Well, imagine that!

    • Haribo Lector

      What he said there is technically correct; the best kind of correct.

  • Usedtobeyellerdawg

    OT-Lyndsey quit. Oh what will we do!

    • Randy Riddle

      There will be crying over sandwiches at Chick-Fil-A in his future.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Get mah faintin’ couch! I do believe the vapahs are comin’ on!

    • AntiDerpomeme

      Oh fiddle-dee-dee!

    • We don’t have *sniff* Senatorette Lindsey* to kick around anymore!

      * Err, his Pretzeldential campaign. The kids’ table debates won’t be the same.
      ~

  • Ruhe

    Shhh…you’ll hurt the guns’ feelings.

  • Rick Hill

    Confession time: I used to smoke a lot of the mariguana and also take a lot of psychodelics. I shot up so many malls and supermarkets and had to come back from the dead numerous times after the police hogtied me during my “trips” that I just had to quit before I became a menace and/or it affected my health.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Yeah, that’s pretty much why I stopped toking up, too. Just too many bodies to dispose of.

      • Rick Hill

        And cleaning up the blood! Too much effort involved

        • Pinkham’s Law

          IK,R? Who wants to do that much work when you’re stoned?

          • Rick Hill

            Just remembering extra clips is too much effort, amirite?

          • deanbooth

            That’s not a roach clip, it’s a roach magazine!

          • SuspectedDemocrat

            Bongs don’t get chill people, people chill people!

          • Gristle McThornbody

            I thought you said chips instead of clips. The chips, and anything else that couldn’t run fast enough to get away before I could eat it, were what I remember being obsessed with back 100 years ago when I used to indulge.

    • beatbort

      Yes, because when you’re stoned, the first thing you think of is getting out a gun and shooting randomly at people. That is, unless you pass the refrigerator on the way out the door and find something delicious to munch on inside there while you watch Benny Hill Show reruns on TV or listen to Pink Floyd for the next two hours, and haven’t passed out yet..

      • Rick Hill

        You see, I told my gf we needed a refrigerator and she said it was a luxury. Would have saved me a lot of headache.

    • OddMan

      Being Odd, I used to imbibe a bit of the demon weed. Never made me the least bit shooty or stabby. If fact I am one of those weird ones who thinks more clearly on a little weed. It was the only thing that got me through Differential Equations in Calculus 4.
      Pot and Coffee will make a Odd man wise.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I personally have never murdered people while potted up on the demon weed, but it’s not because I’m a better person than you. It’s just because I’ve never found much motivation to get up out of the Barcalounger when I’m stoned. I’ll talk about it all night with ya, though, if that helps.

  • beatbort

    “I don’t know the facts of this case,” he acknowledged.
    Well, then, the proper etiquette in situations like this is to shut the fuck up.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Can’t do that. Need to point people over THERE and away from HERE, where we routinely wail about babbys being killed in PP clincs for their brains.

      • willi0000000

        yeah . . . you want the guy over there at the counter.

  • Painter of Goats

    I wonder if the Governor of Colorado serves marijuana edibles at his holiday parties?

    • beatbort

      In which case, they only throw invisible snowballs and bottles off the balcony

  • Longstreet63

    Psychotic episodes? I always thought the marijuhuana made you play piano really fast while giggling. I feel so relieved!

    • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

      Damn good pull. Damn good.

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        Bad news, dude. You have a head.

        • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

          Th’fuck!?

          Dok. It’s Dok. He’s moderating comments *and* modifying bodies. His absolute power is corrupting him NewMexicogovernorly.

          (So why’d he give me that head? Normally his work is much higher quality.)

          • theCryptofishist

            Maybe he had an extra.

          • borninatrailer

            So you’re saying Dok usually gives better head?

            o.O

  • If you know folks who use marijuana, you know that hanging out with them is less homicidal violence and more sitting on the couch eating pizza and playing video games.

    He’s cynically playing to the presumed or willful naivety of his audience.

    • Boscoe

      Well, they HAVE cultivated it for 80 years… be a shame to let all that multi-generational hysteria go to waste.

  • Randy Riddle

    This doesn’t explain Focus on the Family’s psychotic episode that’s been lasting about twenty years.

    • beatbort

      severe marijuana deprivation

      • Villago Delenda Est

        What few neurons they have need the mellow.

  • Usedtobeyellerdawg

    I mean, those Maijuana shoppes are RIGHT THERE! Only thousands of feet away! The fumes alone could have infected his brains with the crazy!

    • theCryptofishist

      Not to mention CONTACT HIGHSQQ!!1

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Takeaway: what I thought were pot brownies were Benadryl brownies. Far from giving me psychotic breaks, they mostly just make me sit there like an inert lump.

    • docterry6973

      So far.

    • Painter of Goats

      When I was working at the bank a lady was waiting in the drive-up with a carfull of boisterous children. When we asked if she wanted suckers for the kids she replied, “Do you have any with Benadryl in them?”

      • eddi

        ? Thank you.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    I’m not surprised that the shitheads of Focus on the Family are blaming demon weed, not demon fucked up Moloch worship, which is their specialty there, for this massacre.

  • Msgr_Moment

    I was gonna shoot me up a Planned Parenthood until I got high
    I was gonna shoot up a Batman movie until I got high
    …..
    lather, reince, repeat as needed.

  • Beowoof14

    Stuart let me speculate about you some, when I look back I see you’re now an Xtian, and with focus on the family, but often when we go back there, there is that time where you hung around gay bars, and sucked off everyone who would let you. Ah but your self loathing made you run away from your real self and now you work with Focus on the Family. Hey making this shit up is fun and easy.

    • beatbort

      Not knowing the facts of the case, or any case, is the starting point for most wingnut pronouncements.

    • chicken thief

      And there was that meth dealer in the same county. Don’t forget that.

      • lroom

        Follow the trail!!

  • schmannity

    The newsroom at the Denver Post doesn’t realize how lucky they are to have avoided a Maureen Dowd massacre.

  • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

    Kid killer.

  • Joe Beese

    Institute a guns-for-weed program.

    Win-win.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      How much weed to I have to give to get an AR? What about a Mini 14?

      • FlownOver

        Not quite clear on the concept, eh, PL?

        • Pinkham’s Law

          Barter system, right?

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    More important, they won’t say “violent Christian anti-abortion terrorism”.

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      Or even something less inciting e.g. radical Christian terrorist. Why won’t they say it? Must hate ‘Merica!

  • Gayer Than Thou

    My eyesight’s not what it used to be (and it was never great), so I can’t tell what the picture is warning me I might find marijuana in. A tobacco cigarette, OK. A … carb something? Can’t read that. And a … frog tea kettle? OH GOD I’M HIGH JUST FROM READING THIS!

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      If you smoke too much pot, I have it on good authority you will spend too much time eating pizza and playing video games or watching movies. Also too, you will pay your bills late often because doh.

      • AntiDerpomeme

        And then you’ll move in with your parents and NEVER leave. OK, maybe you won’t, but my brother…

    • eddi

      The little letters are cocktail. Booze and marijuana mixed?

  • TheGrandWaz00

    Stuart Shepard probably doesn’t know there are no recreational pot stores in Colorado Springs. So unless he had a medical card, he didn’t buy it within a half mile of the grocery store.

    • beatbort

      Wouldn’t it be so much nicer if the spokesman was Stuart Smalley?

  • Indiepalin

    Edibles should only be consumed before boarding a plane to see relatives during the Holiday Season.

    • dshwa

      To quote David Letterman, “The holidays should be spent with the people you love, or failing that, your family.”

  • onedollarjuana

    They also sell guitars a half mile from the clinic. My eyes are on you, Mr. Nugent.

    • chicken thief

      FOLLOW THE TRAIL!!!

  • tehbaddr
    • SuspectedDemocrat

      She eventually played so fast she became Slayer and popularized thrash metal.

  • dshwa

    OK, yes, smoking the demon weed does cause the occasional psychotic break, but pretty much only if you have a mental illness to begin with. (To quote the Psych NP I work with, it’s “like checking how much gas is in your tank by using a lighter.”) If you don’t have an Axis I disorder, it’s pretty harmless. In conclusion, the FOTF guy is full of shit. But we already knew that.

  • baconzgood

    Yeah…every time I’ve ever smoked I went nuts and then killed some people. “Nuts” and “killed some people” means “to the ice box” and “watched the Simpsons” right?

    • borninatrailer

      Funyuns & ice cream + Archer would also be an acceptable answer, too, as well.

      Or so I’ve heard.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Personally, I think he was hopped up on Chick Fil A, lard, and high-fructose corn syrup…a.k.a. the wingnut nutrition pyramid.

    • dshwa

      More of a blob than a pyramid.

  • Joe Beese

    Lindsey Graham dropped out! Now I have to shoot myself. Or get high.

    • beatbort

      Get high first. Then you’ll forget about the other thing

    • dshwa

      He couldn’t find his Trump card.

  • Joshua Norton

    So they’ve decided not to go with that whole “transgendered leftist activist” thingy then?

    • Joe Beese

      Transgendered leftist activists like to blaze too.

    • Boscoe

      I think they’re just going multiple-choice on this one. (with none of the choices being “radicalized by anti-abortion propaganda”, of course)

      • tomamitai

        My choice is “stochastic terrorism”:

        Stochastic terrorism is the use of mass communications to incite random actors to carry out violent or terrorist acts that are statistically predictable but individually unpredictable. In short, remote-control murder by lone wolf.

        This is what occurs when Bin Laden releases a video that stirs random extremists halfway around the globe to commit a bombing or shooting.

        This is also the term for what Beck, O’Reilly, Hannity, and others do.

        See here, also, too.

  • Lazy Media

    All smoking weed ever did to me was convince me I could fly. I also accidentally cooked and ate a baby once, but that’s it.

    • Rick Hill

      Severe munchies will skew your judgement.

      • dshwa

        So that’s why he shot up the PP, he had the munchies and they were out of deep fried babby hearts.

        • Rick Hill

          Where’s a chikafile daily special when you need one?

          • dshwa

            Like Chic-fil-a would serve an artisinal free range babby heart like they do at PP.

          • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

            I can understand Chick Fil-A’s decision, though: Only if the heart is outside the baby when it’s born counts as free-range. Not many of those, so the costs are pretty high and your typical customer just isn’t going to pay that.

          • Rick Hill

            Mmmmmm…free range, deep fried bayubee heart….

    • Pinkham’s Law

      A friend of mine told me about someone his girlfriend’s brother knew that did too much and turned into a glass of orange juice.

      • Biff52

        OJ was the antidote for a bad acid trip.

      • FlownOver

        I did some once, walked down the sidewalk and turned into a Starbuck’s. Bad trip indeed.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      I tried to fly, but luckily I started from the ground floor window. The birds wouldn’t stop laughing at me.

  • Dr. Krieger IRL

    I’ve spent the better part of my post-Christian days trying to forget about FOTF. That outfit would be almost hilarious were they not actually influencing peoples’ lives and decisions.

  • baconzgood

    The only thing pot made me DO is hang some blinking christmas lights in my dorm room, and even that seemed like alot of effort when I was stoned.

    • theCryptofishist

      Ah, but you were smoking the old illegal stuff, not the modern good stuff.

      • Boko999

        And the leaves!! Can you believe we used to smoke the friggin’ leaves back in the bad ol’ days?
        I’m not only much wiser these days I’m glaucoma free!!

        • chicken thief

          And there was all that lumber and seeds in the bottom of the bag.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            I had a friend convicted of possession when they found two seeds and a stem on the floor of the car. $1,000 fine and a year in jail. Then, they decriminalized it and made it a misdemeanor with a $100 fine, so the courts said, “Fuck it. You don’t have to serve the jail time.”

          • Boko999
  • JohnE_o

    The past was a friendlier time, it seems, what with all the random strangers passing out marijuana cigarettes and all. Not like today when it has been all commercialized and such.

    • theCryptofishist

      Absolutely a different country.

    • The Molten Soul

      Ah, but we no longer have to deal with dealers…truly a great time to be alive, save for all the killing.

      • JohnE_o

        One day, pot freedom will come to my State. I envy those for which it has arrived, but not enough to move there – because packing is such a pain in the ass.

    • Rick Hill

      A dime bag was ten bucks and ten joints. Good old days. And, yes, much preferred the less potent smoke as well.

  • Joe Beese

    This made ma laugh almost as much as if I were high.

    <>

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/jeb-bush-hated-front-runner

    Don’t deny yourself any pleasure, my man. Let Fiorina and Kasich pull ahead of you and really enjoy life.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      He’s appealing to a more selective constituency.

    • clever_sobriquet

      It definitley feels better back there, it’s much tighter

  • Joshua Norton

    I’m always amazed that people can carry on after doing teh marahoochy. I stopped after if I realized I was always the fun stuff because taking a nap under the coffee time seemed very important at the time.

    • IckyPickles

      Different people react to marahoochy differently, and if you do teh marahoochy a lot, it does not affect you nearly as much as if you only toke once a week. All i know is (and you might think this ironic) that it definitely helps my ADHD.

      • chicken thief

        Also too, the marriage-uh-wanna is cultivated so finely now days that there are different highs – head highs and body highs. If one can not move after a toke or two, try the head high stuff.

        Or so I’ve heard….

        • Biff52

          I wasn’t able to control it even when the best we could get was Acapulco Gold. No matter what I wanted it to do for me, I got the opposite effect. Unlike booze, which put me on the floor pretty reliably.

          • willi0000000

            i had the opposite, sort of, reaction . . . no matter where i was, if i got into my car i always wound up on Commonwealth Ave, Boston just past BU headed for Brighton.

            [ came in handy a couple of times when i was lost in NH ]

          • chicken thief

            If I just smoke all I want to do is go take a nap. Gotta have a beer or two to keep the eyes open.

    • sw19womble

      I once got a contact high from some ‘skunk’ as I believe the young kids call it.
      I was rooted – literally thought I was rooted – to the sofa for the entire evening.
      Not my cup of tea, but yeah… how anybody gets anything done.. .meh.

    • Zyxomma

      Here’s the truth, Joshua: Anything one can do sober, one can LEARN to do high on pot, if one so desires (caveat: not recommended for those jobs where the lives of others are at stake). For example, I’ve only driven cars a few times in my life (once because the driver was so drunk I thought he’d kill us). I’d be terrified to get behind the wheel high; I’d have to wait till I came down. Younger sister, however, started both driving and smoking pot as a teen, and she’s every bit as good behind the wheel high as sober. All the best computer programmers I’ve known (and I’ve known many) were heads. I prefer NOT being high for complex tasks other than cooking, which is wonderful while under the influence.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Bill Maher asked Seth Rogen if he would have been able to write The Interview if he hadn’t been high. Seth said, “Yes, but it wouldn’t have been as much fun.”

  • DahBoner

    And if you go back another half mile from those marijuana shops, you know what they sell there?

    “It’s a couple of gun shops.”
    https://media4.giphy.com/media/asHT7eh4AwG9G/200w_d.gif

    • The Molten Soul

      I live in the Springs. My preferred green grocer is right next door to a gun store. No joke. I’ve caught severe glares often. Makes my lawful purchase a bit uncomfortable.

  • Relativicus

    Just spit-balling here, but isn’t it possible Dear was infected by cooties that he received when he neglected to wear gloves while lady-bashing?

  • Me not sure

    I used Marijuana for funzies back in my dissolute youth, and the only thing I ever treated violently was a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts.

    • Joshua Norton

      Spam and Twinkies were nice too.

      • Me not sure

        Wife says I can have none of the above, and being that I am far too lazy to go grocery shopping myself I am forced to eat healthy food.

      • coozledad

        Gives you a whole new take on a bowl of ice cream.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      I only ate “edibles” once back in my college days, long ago in the previous century on a planet far, far away (Des Moines), and I vividly remember not being able to get out of my chair or feel my legs, meanwhile I ate half a package of Oreos and had an out-of-body experience while listening to an Aerosmith album about 20 times over and over. There’s no way I could have traveled across town and walked into a clinic and shot anyone.

  • coozledad

    1.Marijuana- 2. LSD- 3.Gong- 4.Mass shooting.

    • sw19womble
      • HorseChestnut

        GOOD.

      • coozledad

        Momus talked about listening to prog while he was writing one of his albums. He said he found the attention to song structure interesting, and some of the over the top artiness refreshing. But Gong was a cautionary tale.

        There’s some prog that has that earthy quality of early western polyphony, and Gong even goes there sometimes. But they were more acid drenched than Jimi Hendrix on a bad day.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=32jei0oFhoM

        • sw19womble

          Indeed! A tiny bit of Gong goes a long, long way… but that was the problem with a lot of prog stuff, eventually it fell off the cliff of self-absorption and over-indulgence, but there’s still some great stuff out there – even in the acid-drenched deep-end.

          • coozledad

            I always come back to Gentle Giant’s Power and the Glory. That album is a class in composition.

    • Mavenmaven

      all that violence at Steve Hillage concerts…

    • tomamitai

      We used to sing this song in the fifth grade, to the tune of “Frère Jacques”:

      Marijuana, marijuana,
      L S D! L S D!
      Scientists make it,
      Teachers take it,
      Why can’t we?
      Why can’t we?

      As far as I know, none of my classmates ever went on a shooting spree.

  • folderol

    With just smidge of self-control, anyone can tame the murderous rage induced by the effects of cannabis. Even you, dear friend… even you!

  • Anarchy Pony

    If anything, he needed more weed. Then he might have mellowed the fuck out.

  • OneDemin EOr

    “…I don’t know the facts of the case…”
    Then STFU already!

    • eddi

      “…I don’t know the facts of the case…” “so I’ll just make some up to distract the mouth breathers who send me wads of money. They’re too stupid to know that everything I say isn’t the word of God anyway.”

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    If only he’d gone into a gun store instead of a weed store, all this could have been avoided. I mean we’re not even pretending to care about reality anymore, right?

    • clubseal

      The concept of reality is quite unknown to people who are pants shitting cowards over less than 1% of the Muslim population’s actions and who believe that Christians are persecuted in the U.S.

  • MrBlobfish

    Faster

  • JohnR

    Transgender domestic terrorist stoned out of his gourd on hash brownies, makes so much more sense than extremist christian domestic terrorist.

  • SpaceCaptainWarlock

    Focus on the Family are experts at responding to cognitive dissonance in the most unhealthy and childish of ways. Why reexamine your worldview when you can just blame a substance you don’t like? Scoundrels, the lot of them.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “Scoundrels” is just too mild a term for these…um…”people”.

  • Jenny

    Well, guess we need to burn all the weeds, for the families?

    • chicken thief

      Drop it by my house – I’ll take care of it.

    • JH Marx

      I’ve been burning my share.

  • azeyote

    ya just never know – Maureen Dowd might have killed a few folks that we don’t know about when she flew higher than Colorado, and had her psychotic episode

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      whatta ya mean had?

    • I don’t know, can you write badly enough to kill people?

      • sw19womble

        Pens don’t kill people…

  • HorseChestnut

    They may put some of the drug in the teapot or the tobacco cigarette or the… what now? Does anyone know what that middle one is? Cock rot?

  • He could be onto something there. I once drove past a dispensary and was struck by a sudden urge to kill republicans. But I turned around and went into the dispensary, and I felt much better.

  • jviscont1

    has Maureen Dowd weighed in on the homicidal side effects of edibles?

  • Ricky Gay

    freedom costs a buck o’ five :(

  • Mavenmaven

    The sad part is that these right wing conspiracy nuts make it harder for the patients who could benefit from medical marijuana.

    • I suspect that’s probably the point (or at least an important side benefit).

  • clubseal

    This is something of an undercurrent to the “new” anti marijuana forces. The sheriff where I live, when trying to get the county to regulate medical marijuana grows (i.e., ban them through zoning ordinances), he not so subtly suggested that the guy who shot up the theater in Aurora and a couple other mass shooters were “habitual smokers of marijuana.” He left out the “it would be irresponsible not to speculate that marijuana caused them to shoot people dead.”

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Reefer Madness” never goes out of style with Law Enforcement Honchos and other “pillars” of our society.

    • eddi

      They are afraid of losing Federal drug enforcement dollars. And having fewer people to sell to the prison industries.

  • chicken thief

    One thing is clear – Stuart Shepard has never ever in his entire life smoked pot.

    • w9anthimos

      No, but he did go to a wild party at a hotel with New Mexico Governor Susana Martinez once.

  • chicken thief

    “I’d just be curious to know if he stopped by one of those.”

    Me, too. And if he did, is there any left? I mean, it ain’t going to do him any good where he’s going.

  • Marla

    “I don’t know the facts of this case…”

    Could have wrapped up this story right there.

    • Seriously. Any pundit or “political operative” who uses that phrase should have thier mics immediately and permanently turned out for the rest of the story cycle.

  • CriticalDragon1177

    Yes it must have been the drugs, because of course us calling abortion doctors murders couldn’t have had anything to do with it. Obviously. —- Sarcasm mode disengaged.

  • BearGHAZI

    “I don’t know the facts of this case,”

    …go on?

    • D_C_Wilson

      “We’ve had a number of folks who have eaten these things and then had psychotic episodes.”

      But please don’t ask him to name a specific one.

      • natoslug

        Well, there was Maureen Dowd that one time, but that may have had more to do with it being Maureen and less to do with the edibles.

      • JustDon’tSayDittos

        he was thinking of Ned in Accounting that one time at the Christmas party. Allegedly.

      • Tansy Geek

        Does this count as Maureen Dowd libel, or did she just get paranoid and puke on everyone?
        Edit: double damn. Literally everyone beat me to the MoDo joke.

    • MyDogsAreSmarterThanYou

      I always tell people that say shit like that to “go on…” Hilarity is bound to ensue, and I love a good laugh as much as the next guy.

  • D_C_Wilson

    It’s not even an original dumb theory. Bryan Fischer was claiming the shooter was “tanked up on pot” back in November.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NuhvOwaWEKg

  • Callyson

    “I don’t know the facts of this case…” he acknowledged

    “…but I’m not going to let that stop me from making wild speculations!”

    • D_C_Wilson

      It would be irresponsible not to speculate. Especially given that the facts point rate back at the “pro-life” movement’s rhetoric.

    • Barley_Brains

      He could comment on Wonket, if commenting was allowed.

    • Which by the way is a lie, because the killer only shouted them to the mountaintop with a bullhorn. It’s like these people are allergic to the truth!

  • Kip TW

    The weed of crime’s a bear for bitter fruitcakes.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    The Army of God dude was way more honest than these folks.

    He said, “Planned Parenthood reaped what it sowed” again. He always says this. And that woman who escorted her friend, and the Iraqi war vet there with his pregnant wife for prenatal care, and those cops were just collateral damage, I suppose.

    I didn’t say he was sane. I said he was more honest.

  • YayConspiracy

    FOTF, what does that mean? Fingers on The Family (Duggar interpretation)? Feeding on The Foolishness?

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Focus on Financial Foolery?

      • YayConspiracy

        Focus on those Fucksticks.

    • Food on the Family (George W.)

    • Hemp Dogbane

      Focus on the Fundies.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Forget Our Terrorist Friendships

    • JustDon’tSayDittos

      Follow Octopus Twat Frog.
      Makes as much sense.

    • mtn_philosoph

      Fomenters Of The Frenzy

  • So, he shot up Planned Parenthood because Dave wasn’t there.

  • Isn’t that sweet, “focus on the family” is making excuses for a man who murdered three people in cold blood at a FAMILY clinic. It’s like they are forgiving him. You know the old saying:

    “Forgive the mass shootings of your friends, condemn the mass shootings of your enemies,” or something like that.

    • “Focus on the Family” shouldn’t mean “the cross-hair”

  • Peripatetic Poltroon

    Hey, it would be irresponsible not to speculate,

  • Peripatetic Poltroon

    On an unrelated topic, why is there a pic of someone’s finger digging into a ramekin of wasabi, entitled “remove your eye bags in under 2 minutes?” I damn well bet it will.

    • JustDon’tSayDittos

      I see a picture of someone using a netti pot, caption “How To: Fix Dark Eye Circles”. Wonkette, are you selling snake oil?

      • JustDon’tSayDittos

        oh, now I see your picture, had to scroll down. I guess there’s an eye-bag pandemic on. Huh, no foolin’.

  • Markuserektus

    Mebbe they should have put bowls full of Cap’n Crunch in the lobby as a deterrent (idiots).

  • eddi

    Religion puts one into insane murderous rages. Marijuana makes you nod off.

    • Yep. Gandhi and MLK – known for their insane murderous rages.

      • eddi

        There are always a few outliers. Human nature being what it is.

        • Well, you’re the guy claiming that religion is bad evil violent mean in and of itself; so of course any contrary evidence goes in the “no True Scotsman” bucket. Like Trumpy declaring that “some Mexicans, I assume, are good people”.

          • eddi

            I lay crushed and awestruck under your overwhelming logic. I will immediately retire to a nunnery to contemplate my evil ways and seek forgiveness.

          • “Religion causes insane violent rages” is a statement equivalent to “Atheists are smug assholes who are as selfish and narcisstic as Ayn Rand and yet think they’re better than religious people”. It’s true SOMETIMES, but not often enough to be a rule.

          • Iam Reading

            This atheist think AR is a selfish, dead hypocrite. But back to the topic. How many US atheists killed in the name of atheism or in service to a solely atheist cause? Face it, there are a bunch of turds in your pool.

          • Firstly, LOL at the idea that I’m a “theist”. I hate smug religious bigots just as much as smug atheist bigots – probably more, but yeah, a bit of concern trolling never hurt to balance the scales once one side gets on their high horse.

            To the point: the question of “body count” is unbelievably stupid to gauge relative evil, because you have to decide how to decide who is responsible for deaths. I would say – for example – that Trumpy is responsible for Muslim deaths for ginning up hatred against Muslims. And so, thus, is Crazy Old Man Dawkins, Racist Sam Harris, and Dead Hitchens.

          • Iam Reading

            At our current % of population, every atheist in the USA could go on a 24/7 bitch fest and never come close to the Xian faux victimhood, so your idea of balance is about as well founded as Fox News’s. As to atheists in US killing in the name of atheism, well you completely failed to comprehend or answer the query. It is pretty easy to lay the blame for murder on the murderer. Encitement is a different thing altogether and was not part of my query. Although I don’t hear atheists calling for atheists to kill others in the name of atheism, so….. maybe Harris, et al do, but I don’t read their works, so wouldn’t know

      • Iam Reading

        Theist concern troll^^^^^^^^^^

    • Clearly then, Unitarian church services are the Marijuana of religion..

      • mtn_philosoph

        When I was a kid the priest’s sermons at Mass used to make me nod off.

  • m3bosha

    Yea, it would be highly irresponsible to speculate or let facts cloudy your opinion. Like the fact no one at the grocery store got shot. But he sure did killed dead a nice lady with two kids taking her sister to a prenatal visit. But sure. It’s gotta be medical marijuana (Colorado Springs has zero recreational pot shops because FOTF and their ilk would rather just not have the tax money cuz they have to keep up the illusion that christians are super).

  • TheBidenator

    The cops didn’t follow a trail of empty Dorito bags leading to the Planned Parenthood clinic so I’m pretty sure they’ve ruled out Marijuana. Not to mention that is easily disproven with a friggin’ blood test. Yes, let’s never even for a moment consider the toxic rhetoric that all but demands violent acts be carried out in the ‘name of the unborn’ and the ease of access to guns….that would actually make sense. No, let’s be smrt about it and blame weed….

    • Bob Smith

      It’s easier to buy a gun than marijuana. In michissippi we have to show a card to buy or vote but we need nothing to buy a gun and ammo. They do charge a lot for that lead in the FLINT river, though. Michissippi, we are going to give you lead whether you like it or not. Why eat cake when you can just drink a glass of lead infused water, compliments of DICK snyder.

  • Tansy Geek

    Shorter Stuart Shepard:It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    This is like that British guy who recently denied a rape charge by claiming that he just stumbled and happened to fall on top of the victim, presumably entangling his dick in her lady parts in the process. I’m sure we’ve all been there.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Have conservatives ever come across a stupid idea that is so stupid they eventually have no choice but to drop it? Hell, we can’t even get all of them to admit that slavery was a bad idea.

  • Well Robert Dear was playing the piano awfully maniacally….

  • Magic Juan

    “You’d think that the Man From FOTF would have come up with a better idea than this…”

    Hummmm, No, I pretty much never think that people from FOTF will ever come up with a better idea about anything.

  • qadesh

    A very dear friend had a very bad psychotic episode after consuming marijuana edibles (half a piece of candy). However, she did not go into a homicidal rage, she ended up hospitalized. (which was a horror story).

    Fungus (aka “focus on the family”, or “focus on fascism”) cannot wait to insert its ignorant viewpoints into everything.

    • MyLovelyNose

      Set and setting is important. If you try MJ with trepidation and the idea that, “it might make me crazy,” you’ll probably have the experience you expect.

  • qadesh

    there aren’t too many dispensaries in that area, stuart.

  • Iam Reading

    Where are the xians decrying this Xian terrorist’s actions! No more Xian refugees! They are a violent people and their book tells them to be violent with genocides and rapings! Snark-ish

  • Bob Smith

    It is difficult to listen to someone that supported the awol coke head that cheated his way into office disparage cannabis. But then again these assholes were also big supporters of tail gunner joe and the John Birch Society.

  • Incoming Ham

    “If you trace his path backwards from where he ended up at Planned Parenthood to that grocery store where the first person was shot and go back another half mile, you know what he passed? Three churches selling hate disguised as Christianity

    “I don’t know the facts of this case,” he acknowledged, “but I’m sure law enforcement is looking into this, we’ve had multiple instances of people consuming what are called “Services” … I’d just be curious to know if he stopped by one of those. We’ve had a number of folks who have done these things and then had psychotic episodes.”

    /FIFY

    • MyLovelyNose

      Mic drop!

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