Scott Walker Finally Able To Ensure All Elections In Wisconsin Will Be Rigged

comically evil

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Do you remember Scott Walker? He was one of the eleventy billion people running for the GOP nomination, and we were actually worried about him winning because he managed to seem slightly less bloodthirsty and craven than the rest of them even though he is totally bloodthirsty and craven. But then he flamed out in September, and we breathed a sigh of relief and forgot all about him. Walker, however, didn't forget about being awful.

You might not know that in his zeal to dismantle pretty much everything that used to be good about the state of Wisconsin, Walker had thus far been unable to really really fuck with elections, much as he wanted to. See, up until today, Wisconsin had a pretty much universally admired election oversight board that was staffed by nonpartisan former judges.

Well, we can't have that, now can we? Walker has hated the Government Accountability Board since forever because they had this nasty habit of taking their job seriously and investigating things like Walker's completely blatant campaign coordination with faux-independent groups in 2012. So the board had to go. Now Wisconsin will have not one but two almost completely partisan commissions instead! Hooray!

The lead lawmakers in the majority and minority parties in the Assembly and Senate each will appoint a member to both commissions. The elections commission will include two former local elections clerks — and the ethics commission, two former judges — that are appointed by the governor.

The measure also resumes the practice[...] of allowing lawmakers to control funding for investigations of alleged wrongdoing by public officials.

Neat.

Because Walker is an overachiever at being a complete dickbag, he also made sure to slide a campaign finance reform bill in there too. It is one so blatantly and comically awful that we can finally cease pretending Wisconsin elections aren't just bought and paid for by Big Koch Friends of Walker.

The campaign finance measure removes various limits on campaign contributions, some of which recently have not been in effect after being struck down in court. It lifts the ban on corporate contributions to political parties and legislative campaign committees and doubles individual contribution limits to candidates.

It makes clear that candidates may coordinate with issue advocacy groups, the type of activity that was at the center of the investigation into Walker’s campaign.

Also neat. All of these momentous changes drop in summer 2016, just a few months before the national election, and the first in which Wisconsin's cool new awful Voter ID law will be in effect too. EXTRA SUPER NEAT.

Seriously, Wisconsinites, have you considered just moving over the border to Minnesota? We have clean elections, yet our weather is still just as shitty as yours so you won't feel out of place. We'll leave a light on for you.

[ Wisconsin State Journal ]