SHARE
But on the plus side ...
But on the plus side …

Another mass shooting happened in America, because Wednesday, and while Donald Trump, like his fellow Republican presidential candidates, was at first reserved in his response — “California shooting looks very bad,” he tweeted, failing to offer the obligatory “thoughts and prayers” — his thoughts evolved throughout the day, to the real focus of the horrific story: Team Trump.

Screen Shot 2015-12-03 at 7.31.09 AM

While reports about the massacre have been chaotic, confusing, and just plain WRONG, we can report to you quite confidently that neither Trump nor anyone from his #team was involved in law enforcement’s manhunt and ultimate shooting of the suspects.

By restless middle-of-the-night Trump tweeting o’clock, he had some new insights to share, from his adoring subliterate Twitter fans:

Screen Shot 2015-12-03 at 6.30.21 AM

Far be it from us to question the veracity of @DLake66675’s political analysis that there is any correlation with Trump’s polling numbers and Americans being massacred, but if true, we’d modestly propose that’s not something to be proud of. We also doubt it would bring comfort to the friends and families of victims — of Wednesday’s shooting, or last Friday’s shooting, or the shooting before that, or the next shooting that is guaranteed to come. But at least some of his supporters believe Trump will protect them — with his beautiful wall or the gun he claims to carry or maybe just his tough talk — from the scary stuff.

Screen Shot 2015-12-03 at 7.40.24 AM

Maybe it’s Trump’s promise to “bomb the shit out of ISIS” — and take their oil! — that makes his supporters feel safer. Or maybe it’s his latest innovation in terrorist-fighting, unveiled Wednesday morning on Fox News, before the massacre in San Bernardino:

When you get these terrorists, you have to take out their families! They care about their lives, don’t kid yourselves. They say they don’t care about their lives. But you have to take out their families.

That’s certainly one way to guarantee the families of terrorists (or, you know, brown people in general) do not become radicalized terrorists their own selves after Trump bombs the shit out of their loved ones: bomb the shit out of their grandma and toddlers too! While law enforcement is not declaring Wednesday’s shooting a terrorist attack, perhaps we ought to wipe out the mother of one of the shooters, Syed Farook, since we have her address. Take out his brother-in-law too, just to be safe. Or maybe we should bomb families first, to send terrorists a message that they’d better not even think of doing any terrorism under President Trump’s watch, mister, or another kid sister’s gonna get it.

If you were wondering if Trump has called for the killing of the family members of Americans who carried out mass murders in America — like white supremacist Charleston shooter Dylann Roof, for example, or Robert L. Dear, charged with killing three people at a Colorado Planned Parenthood — well, we won’t insult your intelligence by bothering to answer that rhetorical question.

We also won’t waste our pixelated breaths asking if Trump seemingly crowing about how the murder of 14 people will at least give him a bump in the polls — he’s quite fond of bragging about his poll numbers, you know — suggests Trump has no sense of decency, sir. We believe that question has long ago been asked and answered.

[Mediaite]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • elviouslyqueer

    Well, this is LONG overdue:

  • Joe Beese

    “Blame underling for retweet” statement will be released before end-of-business.

    • SterWonk

      That assumes that he believes the tweets were blame-worthy.

  • Painter of Goats

    So his plan to defeat Isis is to emulate Isis.

    • Well, 20/20 hindsight gives ya a great view of an asshole

      • Painter of Goats

        As does the photo accompanying this article.

        • Thx…that’s what I was trying to say through all this cannabis smoke

    • frrolfe

      Spot the difference:
      A: ISIS supports a culture of death for “The Other”.
      B: GOP supports a culture of death for “The Other”.

      • eddi

        The big difference is one group worships the One, True God. (please don’t ask the next question)

  • Belasaurius

    pre-emptive killing? That always works out. Go TRUMP!

    • Anarchy Pony

      It certainly doesn’t scream fascism or anything.

  • Joe Beese

    We certainly don’t want a president who would kill someone just for being related to someone accused of terrorism.

    It’s a shame that Abdulrahman al-Awlaki won’t be available to vote against him.

  • duckshoe

    Not only disgusting, but also (surprise!) false, since Trumplestiltskin has been wobbling between 25 and 30% since September.

  • freakishlystrong

    That obnoxious 13 year old, YouTube conservative kid, (who matured in to a “no lables” kid), sounds like a Mensa member compared to Dump.

  • PubOption

    OT, but Breitbart is declaring Trump vindicated, since an old report of thousands of eight NJ Muslims celebrating the 9/11 attacks has been found.
    http://www.breitbart.com/big-journalism/2015/12/02/trump-100-vindicated-cbs-reports-swarms-on-roofs-celebrating-911/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social

    • Joe Beese

      “You want to get into semantics about how many people make up a swarm?”

      Yeah, I’m up for it.

      8 ≠ swarm

  • freakishlystrong

    “California shooting looks very bad,”.
    But maybe if we keep looking it will look not bad? What?

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Exactly, there isn’t a chance it could turn around. Unless the phrases ” some pool” or “with a camera” are involved shooting cannot be anything other than bad.

      • Spotts1701

        Or “hoops”. Sometimes “your mouth off”.

        • Antonin Dvorak

          Alright, so there are a few exceptions.

    • Logic of Color

      Maybe he means we just need more practice…?

  • Mavenmaven

    I’m sure those armed guys outside the mosque the other day would be fine with killing Syed Farook’s extended family, even if he hadn’t shot all those people.

  • geoffalnutt

    As Divine said “Kill everyone now…” Pink Flamingos was, indeed, way ahead of its time.

    • HolidayinCambodia

      Actually, that was Babs Johnson. Better is Cracker’s “Do my balls, mama.”

  • We also won’t waste our pixelated breaths

    Fitting as Trump is just a human-shaped wasp nest of internet comments wearing an orange rug..

  • HolidayinCambodia

    Efficiency and progress is ours once more
    Now that we have the Neutron bomb
    It’s nice and quick and clean and gets things done
    But no less value to property
    No sense in war but perfect sense at home.

    • Angry_Cop

      There are some days where nothing but DK will do, and today is that day.

      Blasting it. Fuck my co-workers.

      • HolidayinCambodia

        And Kill the Landlord!

  • Ryan Denniston

    “”The other thing I predicted is terrorism,” he told the crowd before elaborating on a longer story of a friend who told him the same. “A friend of mind called me and said ‘Forget that, you’re the first guy that really predicted terrorism.'””

    http://www.cnbc.com/2015/11/25/donald-trump-says-he-can-predict-terrorism-i-can-feel-it.html

    Thanks for the warning ahead of time asshole.

    • Joe Beese

      Nostradumbass

      • Ryan Denniston

        Let’s hope that this means it’s not terrorism related. Though the Don also missed the Planned Parenthood shootings, because that was different because he was white, which is too different SHUT UP!

      • mailman27

        “He’s definitely not Nuestrosdamus!

        –Latinos everywhere

  • toomanyrappers

    The best part is we pretend Planned Parenthood wasn’t attacked by a terrorist and go back to blaming Eh-rabs and Is-lamb for everything.

    Oh, yay.

    We don’t need no gun control.

  • Joe Beese

    <>

    http://www.politico.com/story/2015/12/trump-jewish-republicans-216398

    Presumably, “not subtle” would have been making a V-sign with his index and middle fingers and then licking the air between them.

    • Anarchy Pony

  • Anarchy Pony

    Trumpenfuhrer will have all dissenters, malcontents, undesirables and their families beaten and or killed for our great fatherland’s peace and security. Thus our prosperity will be assured when we assume the living space we have liberated.

    • exinkwretch

      They’re all LOOOOSERS — nobody’s gonna miss ’em.

      • Anarchy Pony

        Especially after the TrumpenSS eliminate the malcontents that would have missed them.

    • frrolfe

      When is he planning to invade Poland with Vlad as back-up.

    • jmk

      A stirring goal…even if it does sound better in the original German.

  • Bomb the shit out of ISIS

    Worst children’s Saturday morning cartoon in decades

    • BMW

      This “Isis” could team up with lesser known “Shazam!” character: Kablam!

      • sarahjane1912

        Nah … WONDER TWINS!

        Oi! Trump! Take the form of …… a smelly fart and dissipate, eh? Ta.

  • Rick Hill

    Tune in again next week when we’ll hear Turnip say: “Wow. Again. My poll number are so huge now.”
    Same psychopath time….same psychopath channel…

    • Angry_Cop

      PENIS SO BIG

  • greyXstar

    “Sociopaths Led by YOOOGE Sociopaths: The 2016 GOP Primary Race: The Musical”

  • Spotts1701

    Since ISIS also includes individuals from Saudi Arabia and Qatar among 100 other nations, I can’t wait for Trump to announce blowing Doha and Riyadh to bits.

    • Rick Hill

      Doha…Riyadh…wherever. Aot,K

  • Randy Riddle

    All someone has to do is subject Trump to the smallest of little pin-pricks and he’ll deflate and crash like the Hindenburg. That’s just the way blow-hard bullies are.

    • Anarchy Pony

      Oh the not-quite humanity!

    • Angry_Cop

      Yeah. That hasn’t really worked so far. Dude’s like a splinter in your finger, irritating as shit and won’t come out.

      • eddi

        And the infection can kill if not properly treated.

      • Really, it certainly did earlier this year, when Trump was bounced off his failing reality show and from his ogling parad…i mean bikini-clad “scholarship program.” And it did before all of this when he was a walking punchline. Now we’re suppose to believe the tackier, male version of Kim Kardashian (who is also “popular”, kust as a demonstration of how much that’s worth) is invincible? C’mon now, we don’t need to be sucked into the tubine engine of the Hairpiece Hype Machine too.

  • Lizzietish81

    So he admits that he is running on primal fear.

    • ChicagoLovesYou

      He did that long ago

    • Spotts1701

      Not like he can run on charisma or brains.

    • natoslug

      And sheer ignorance. Primal fear and sheer ignorance. And maybe a soupçon of spite. Oh, who am I kidding?- he threw the entire box of spite in there.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      From “SOMEBODY’S DOING THE RAPING!!!” in the first week, and only turning it up from there…

    • Swampay

      candidate from America’s id.

    • Michael Smith

      Yep. And his supporters know it – he has no need to hide. They think that the only appropriate way for the U.S. to conduct business in “the world today” is with fear and rage.

      Trump’s supporters think we live in a Steven Seagal movie. He’s the candidate for folks who believe “those people don’t respond to reason, only force.” And while “those people” usually means brown-skinned partisans or black activists, it can ultimately mean anyone they don’t like and want to dehumanize. So when a massacre occurs, it just gives them hope that more people will join their side.

      That’s why they’re so grotesquely happy when this kind of thing happens. Because they think “maybe this time it will wake people up.”

      Which is what we say too, except we are talking about gun control, and we always acknowledge that nothing will change.

      They’re more optimistic about their brand of “waking up.” I hope for our sake (and theirs) that they are just idiots.

      • Joe Beese

        TRUMP 2016: OUT FOR JUSTICE

      • Squirrel_t_robot

        I am a chronic insomniac; why are they always trying to wake me up?

        Fuck em, I treasure what little sleep I get – not gonna wake up for those mofos.

      • frrolfe

        I’m reluctant to bring this up but many people outside USA are scared shitless about what’s being going on in said USA. Whether it’s the insanity of the Klown Kar or the ongoing mass killings.
        Please USA, go back to the 1950’s when we all knew who to be afraid of.

      • No they’re “happy” because they think this gives them the license to attack people they don’t like without consequence.

    • Squirrel_t_robot

      He suckles on it.

  • dshwa

    Yes, a Trump presidency will certainly make the rest of the world sleep a whole lot better and feel so much safer.

    • sarahjane1912

      Quite.

      And if you think the rest of the world is pointing and laughing now … Sigh.

      • eddi

        They would stop laughing as America descended into total irrelevancy. Dragging the world economy with it.

        • sarahjane1912

          Oh. Right … yes there IS that …

          Damn it.

  • natoslug

    Thank you, but no thank you. I don’t want to hear or read anything about Trump bumping poles with anyone.

  • Michael Smith

    “Or maybe we should bomb families first”

    But isn’t that what we do now?

    • dshwa

      But Trump will do it much huuuuger and classier.

    • natoslug

      So that’s what the “Focus on the Family” campaign is all about.

      • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

        An instant rimshot would probably be a bit too much, so I’ll forbear…

  • Billy Croissant

    The more frightening the world is, the more safe we feel safe with President Trump

    These…followers…DO understand they sound like little quivering blobs o’ protoplasm, don’t they? Why don’t they just cut to the chase and start calling him Daddy Trump?

    • Squirrel_t_robot

      Really.

      Huh.

      Who will let The Donald have the nuclear codes?

      • eddi

        The JCS hid the Football from Nixon during the last part of the Watergate affair for fear he would start a war to distract Congress. They might handle Trump the same way. Soldiers swear their oath to the Constitution and by extension the country as a whole. A murderously dangerous President might have some trouble getting us into a nuclear war.

        • Squirrel_t_robot

          Yeah, I don’t want a military dictatorship either.

          • eddi

            Most likely scenario is arresting him and turning him over to Congress for impeachment and trial for treason. The Vice Prez takes the hot seat with the lesson firmly in mind that some shit just won’t fly with these people. After Eisenhower, every ex-general asked has turned down the honor of running for President. Constitution says their boss is a civilian. They take that seriously.

        • sevenoutaten

          I think the Joint Staff will change the codes on their end so that he gets a “file not found” error.

    • Tio_Doidinho

      Gay conservatives and daddy issues. Do NOT get me started.

  • dshwa

    I really fear that we are in fact dumb enough to elect him.

    • FountainHead

      Let’s elect another B-movie actor or another Community Organizer instead.

      • Spotts1701

        Right…

        • Squirrel_t_robot

          Never trust a poster who uses anything Ayn Rand as his moniker.

          (I am going male gender here, because we all know the ladies do not much care for libertarian politics.)

      • Lefty Frizzell

        You say Community Organizer like it’s a bad thing for somebody who’s job it is, essentially, to organize a community. Throw in Senator and Constitutional Law Professor and I’ll buy it…

        • Squirrel_t_robot

          When you think about it, being a US president is pretty much a community organizing job.

          • bupkus23

            What? Someone actually has to think before they spew political rhetoric?

          • Squirrel_t_robot

            Vote Trump: he will never think before he spews, America!

      • Tansy Geek

        Oh. I read that wrong. You didn’t mean let’s elect someone from Community. That’s too bad, ‘cuz everyone on the cast (even Chevy Chase was great). Pity we can’t have John Oliver though.
        Now, pat yourself on the back and get back to work. You’re tedious.

        • FountainHead

          So in the last 40 years how many people have we elected who were actually qualified for the job they day they showed up?

          Bill Clinton, maybe.
          The End.

          Carter and Bush-the-first if you’re really stretching it.

          • Michael Smith

            Bush I was pretty qualified. He was like the guy that hung around the office for so many years that they were finally like “look, do you want to be the boss? You know how things are supposed to go.”

            Of course, that guy isn’t always the best guy. But he’s usually not the worst.

          • Squirrel_t_robot

            The role of POTUS is more diplomatic than meglomatic.

          • Michael Smith

            What about monomaniacal?

          • Squirrel_t_robot

            Nixon maniacal.

          • Tansy Geek

            My left tit is more Presidential than Trump.
            John Oliver/Tansy’s Tit 2016!!!!

          • Squirrel_t_robot

            There is no training for the job as US president, actually.

            However: Richard Nixon was arguably the most ‘qualified’ and look how that turned out.

            Compare and contrast Nixon, highly experienced, to Truman, not experienced.

            Which was better?

      • dshwa

        Or a doctor who isn’t even a real doctor?

        • FountainHead

          I would vote for Dr. Feelgood.
          I was going to vote for Dr. Teeth, but I think his strings are too easily pulled.

          • Tansy Geek

            that was actually clever.

          • Lefty Frizzell

            Wilko for PM!

      • Squirrel_t_robot

        The Community Organizer part was just the start of POTUS’ career.

        But you have clearly made quite significant hay with the phrase for the past 7 years.

  • Tansy Geek

    I’m surprised Trump hasn’t found a way to make this about his huge and classy self yet.
    Although he let his followers do it for him.

  • Nounverb911

    Has Trump claimed he saw thousands and thousands of Muslims cheering yesterday in San Bernardino yet?

  • JustPixelz

    “When you get these terrorists, you have to take out their families!

    Pretty sure that’s a war crime. HAHA Just kidding. Targeting civilians is definitely a war crime.

  • fergawdssakes

    This country won’t be safe until President (For Life) Trump declares the
    Dumbocratic Party a terrorist cell. That goes for commie mommy blogs
    was well.

    • sillyclucker

      The way things are trending, “for life” won’t be that long.

  • eddi

    Trump complains about Obama sending troops to Syria.
    http://www.cnn.com/2015/10/31/politics/donald-trump-syria-super-pacs/index.html
    And CNN is not going to pay him to appear in the debate.
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/cnn-president-donald-trump_56604cbfe4b08e945fee2a81

  • Last Hussar

    He is going to ‘take their oil’? Its the oil of the sovereign state that the oil is in which is currently being squatted on by Daesh.

    • Michael Smith

      Well, Trump and his supporters probably respect the sovereignty of those states to about the same extent as Daesh.

      To them, if you live over there you’ve pretty much given up your “right to self-determination” by “allowing the Muslims to take over.”

    • Squirrel_t_robot

      It seems The Donald is fancying himself as some sort of Hun, or Visigoth.

  • Toomush_Infer

    His followers just want to kick somebody – it probably doesn’t matter who…

  • TheBidenator

    I was reading Time magazine at the doctors office yesterday (the only time it gets read, I think) and they had a series of essays about the Paris attacks, what they mean and how the world should deal with them. I was struck by an essay from none other than Marine Le Pen the fascist bitch formerly of the French Nazi, er National Party about the “Attack on Liberty”. What I found fascinating about the essay is how it completely mirrored the rhetoric of the GOP except for one thing: it was actually TONED DOWN compared to our GOP. How so? Well she actually did not say that France should immediately go and invade Syria and Iraq….consider that. Marine Le Pen is a horrible fascist and yet she came off as moderate compared to the GOP presidential candidates….

    • Joe Beese

      Ah yes, Marine Le Pen… the French version of Liz Cheney.

      • Squirrel_t_robot

        Nasty ass ladies.

      • Tansy Geek

        At least Marie has the good taste to be embarrassed by her father’s racism and rhetoric.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        The resemblance is so great that I speculated here a couple days ago that they are conjoined twins who were separated by Dr. Ben Carson. And now I just said it again so that makes it true.

        • Squirrel_t_robot

          We gotta run with this!

        • RevZafod

          So one source said it, and now a couple days later, another source [thread] confirms it? Good enuf for the MSM.

        • Thaumaturgist

          No. Two times doesn’t make it true. Bellman says “What I tell you three times is true.” I. E., “just the place for a snake, the Bellman cried, as he landed his crew with care.”

    • Tansy Geek

      So they removed the stake from her heart and let her out her crypt long enough for an interview, did they?

    • orygoon

      Our GOP is like the neighborhoods with all the Christmas lights–each time, it’s got to be bigger, gaudier, more outrageous and more tasteless. It’s bad enough with Christmas lights, but when you’re half of what runs the biggest-economy, biggest-military country in the world, it’s beyond fucked up.

  • Squirrel_t_robot

    Twitter polls matter even less than polls among the 25% of the populace who claim to be R.

    So, almost totally meaningless.

  • TheBidenator

    Trump is going to take their oil and use it all to tame his mane….the point is he’s kind of stupid.

    • Squirrel_t_robot

      The whole ‘take their oil’ scenario doesn’t actually work, due to the fact that oil is a global commodity.

      Plus, after bombing shit, quite often the oil rigs go down, as well as the people and buildings.

      • Boscoe

        But he’ll plant a little flag with his name on it, on all the scorch marks that used to be oil rigs and yell “dibs!”…

        • Boscoe

  • Callyson

    Trump also used the opportunity to further criticize the leadership of President Barack Obama, telling the Fox & Friendscohosts, “If you’re gonna do your job, do your job. Don’t talk about it,” referencing last Wednesday’s press conference on holiday safety.

    Sure, because it’s not as if communicating with the American people is part of the job of being President or anything…

    • Squirrel_t_robot

      Says the man Trump, who never shuts the fuck up.

  • Notreelyhelping

    Damn. Trump just told a largely Jewish audience that “I’m a good negotiator, like you folks.” Repeatedly.

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/trump-jewish-summit

    I suppose his future outreach will include liking Italians but bitching about the mafia, or admiring the Irish…especially how much they can drink. And Germans can sure build stuff, but have you actually tried that sauerkraut?

    Democratic opps researchers may have to be sedated just to stop from whooping and laughing.

    • Squirrel_t_robot

      See?

      The Donald is so not PC, and he is gonna prove it every time he opens his gob!

    • Joe Beese

      “And I’ll be as cheap with the government’s money as you are with yours. When the Department of Education comes to me wanting a big budget, I’ll know how to jew them down.”

      • Squirrel_t_robot

        The Donald has always been loved by the local Hebrews, according to The Donald.

        • Joe Beese

          The New York Times would offer its typical deadpan coverage.

          <>

    • Squirrel_t_robot

      Everyone loves being reduced to a cultural stereotype, right?

      • Boscoe

        It’s the conservative version of “being inclusive”.

      • Beaumarchais?

        I’m Bohemian. Good luck.

        • Notreelyhelping

          “And I love the Rhapsodions!”

    • Juan de Fuca

      Ouch! On the Italian/mafia thing.
      ETA: But leave it because it’s funny dammit

      • Notreelyhelping

        I’m mostly Irish, so writing it gave me butterflies.

        • Juan de Fuca

          I’m mostly Italian and most of us don’t like the mafia.

    • janecita

      And don’t forget about the French, they surely are good at making wine but they also are cheese-eating surrender monkeys.

    • Sheepshagger

      “You know folks, it’s every hymies dilemma huh? Free Ham! Hey I’d tell ya ta tip the moulie serving you, but wadda ya gonna do? Jews, ammirite? ”

    • sarahjane1912

      Yep.

      I chooned into a Beeb radio show last week and one of the comediennes was bemoaning the fact that it’s been pretty slim pickings over the past few years, because Obama just gives NOTHING to them. The wretched spoilsport.

      So — irrespective of the eye-watering monies being spent — everyone is now rubbing their hands with glee, and is indeed grateful, with the Republican line-up (particularly Trumpenfuhrer) because the stuff just writes itself. They’re the gift that keep on bloody giving.

      Thanks, ‘Murica!

  • Squirrel_t_robot

    The GOP is enlisting Chris Christie as their bagman to take Trump out.

    • Angry_Cop

      It’s “pick the best man for the job”, not “pick a guy who’s polling in single digits and everyone ignores.”

      • Squirrel_t_robot

        They are both NE Republicans, so naturally Christie knows how to get to The Donald.

      • Reddishrabbit

        “Yes, we need the best man in the presidential contender field we have to take on Trump…” looks at GOP field “…fuck, just draw a name out of a hat then”
        ~GOP leadership

    • Joe Beese

      There’s only one kind of bag Christie can handle.

      • Angry_Cop

        McDonald’s, right? Pretty sure the answer is McDonalds.

        • Boscoe

          Well, anything with a drive-thru or food delivery hose, really.

    • Yeah, that’ll work.

    • Anarchy Pony

      Trumpenderpetariat.

    • Boscoe

      His plan is to put traffic cones in Trump’s parking space, thereby banishing him to limbo forever, as he waits and waits… It’s not a very good plan, but it’s all he’s got.

  • Squirrel_t_robot

    Good god, are their truly people out there calling themselves ‘Trumpettes’?!

    For fuck’s sake: don’t.

    • Rick Hill

      Trumpet strumpettes?

    • Angry_Cop

      If we can somehow get some of them to call themselves “Butt Trumpettes” my life’s work will be fulfilled.

    • janecita

      They are just like The Rockettes, only fatter, stupider and hairier.

      • John Smith

        And WAAAYYY older.

  • BeliTsari

    Let’s see: Nixon bombed the shit outa Laos & invaded Cambodia; Reagan gave WMD to Iraq to pay Cocaine cartels for death squads; Poppy Bush killed scores of thousands, to get in… NOW, Trump’s brought it all HOME, so we can taste Freedum & Demonocracy?

  • ArgieBargie

    I don’t recall #TeamJagoff from the Twilight days.

  • Me not sure

    Obergruppenfurher Drumpf “The Man In The Hair Castle”.

    • Reddishrabbit

      It is the Yooogest, classiest hair Castle Ever!

      • Me not sure

        SEIG HAIR!

    • John Mercer

      analweiss, analweiss

      • Me not sure

        Coffee take! I spewed!

    • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

      The Haior Shart…

  • chascates

    Presidential candidate Donald Trump dropped bombshell after
    bombshell during an exclusive interview on the Alex Jones Show
    Wednesday, including calling President Obama out for worrying more about
    “man-made climate change” than both ISIS and our “pathetic, weak
    borders.”

    http://www.infowars.com/donald-trump-tells-all-on-the-alex-jones-show/

    • BeliTsari

      I used to TRY to understand alternate dimensions, concurrently occupying this same world… like in Superman, or the Outer Limits? Bizzaros, evil twin Gilligan? Of course, back then… I could always blame. LSD 25 or Psilocybe mushrooms?

    • Anarchy Pony

      He would fucking go on infowars.

      • Joe Beese

        Maybe Jones is angling for the job of his press secretary.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Aside from the destroying the planet and all life on it, the press briefings would be entertaining as hell with Jones at the mike.

    • Squirrel_t_robot

      Shut the fuck up, Donnie.

    • chascates

      An Hour Before The San Bernardino Shooting, Trump Was With Radio Host [Alex Jones] Who Says Sandy Hook Was A Hoax
      http://thinkprogress.org/justice/2015/12/02/3727575/an-hour-before-the-san-bernardino-shooting-trump-was-with-radio-host-who-says-sandy-hook-was-a-hoax/

      • chascates

        Alex Jones: San Bernardino Mass Shooting “Appears To Be Geared To Elicit Widespread Public Outrage”
        http://mediamatters.org/blog/2015/12/02/alex-jones-san-bernardino-mass-shooting-appears/207201

        • chascates

          A Day After Hosting Trump, Alex Jones Calls San Bernardino Shooting A “False Flag”
          Jones: “Notice It’s A Democrat-Controlled State And They Want To Demonize The Second Amendment”
          http://mediamatters.org/video/2015/12/03/a-day-after-hosting-trump-alex-jones-calls-san/207225

          • Tansy Geek

            It’s nice to see Alex Jones remains at large and unmedicated.

          • chascates

            I know a young lady who briefly worked for him as a house cleaner and she said both he AND his wife are batshit crazy.

          • Land Shark

            “Briefly” …. smart person.

          • chascates

            Today on Alex Jones Show:
            Ted Nugent: Time To ‘Cleanse This Country’ Of Liberals Who Want Everyone ‘Bending Over And Taking It In The Ass’
            http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/ted-nugent-time-cleanse-country-liberals-who-want-everyone-bending-over-and-taking-it-ass

          • chascates

            Stories right now at Infowars.com:

            What Are Liberals Squawking About? Gun Violence Has Declined in America

            MEDIA FAIL: MSM Attempts to Blame White People for California Shooting

            CA Mass Shooting Was Site of Numerous Active Shooter Drills

            Breaking: Syed Farook in Contact with Terrorists

            San Bernardino Shooting: What They’re NOT Telling You

            Media Races To Make San Bernardino Shooting About Planned Parenthood [VIDEO]

            Neighbor Didn’t Report San Bernardino Shooter Over Fears Of Being Called Racist

          • Forced ghey?! Maybe that’s what the Farouks were mad about, everyone at that party had taken turns butt-raeping them.

          • chascates

            Alex Jones is sort of the Larry King for the Insane.

  • Vecciojohn

    My clan lets a blood feud go after 7 generations. Guess we’re just RINOs.

  • TMK

    I can’t wait until this guy makes his horse a senator.

    • Joe Beese

      ..

    • HanBarbara

      Actually, Caligula wanted to make his horse Consul. He may have felt that he would be insulting the dignity of his horse by making it a member of the Senate.
      I just finished rereading “The Handmaids Tale”!. The religious fanatics accomplished their coup by shooting Congress and the President and claiming it had been done by Islamic terrorists. Chilling.

  • janecita

    Back from vacation for less than six hours, and I’m ready to leave again. I was hoping that Trump would have gone the way of Herman Cain already, but alas, this asshole seems to be eternal.

    • Squirrel_t_robot

      We shall see.

      He does suck all the air from the room, true enough.

      • SeriousSummer

        Sane Republicans? I object. Facts not evident.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      I don’t want him going ANYWHERE!!!! I want him to win their primary. I want either him or Carson to face off against Hitlery. I think any sane Republicans that are left will be forced to either not vote at all, or vote for Hitlery.

  • Poly_Ester

    Or a Donny is fond of saying, “Machen wieder America grosse!”

    • Squirrel_t_robot

      As if America isn’t fat enough.

      LOL

  • Tendernob

    I think a deal could be worked out with Trump where he agrees not to be President but he still gets to be on television 24 hours a day.

    • Markuserektus

      Trump-span?

      • Vegan and Tiara

        C(hump)-span would be more like it, since that’s who’d be watching it.

  • Juan de Fuca

    Here’s a question I’m asking my wife to FB in to the next debate:
    “If you care about the troops and vets so much, why are.you asking CNN to donate $5 million to Wounded Warriors? Why not just do it with your own money now?”

    Too much “Gotcha”?

    • gratuitous

      Because that way, Trump gets the tax break without spending any of his own money. Duh!

  • whitroth

    Well, on the one hand, if I don my tinfoil hat, don’t these jumps in poll numbers suggest that Trump is setting the mass murders up?

    And on the other hand, if you want to go Full Roman Empire, and kill the entire family, so that there’s no sullen heirs to come back after you… can we do the entire family of proven traitors and war criminals named Bush?

    And on yet another hand (that’s three, if you’re counting), if, as the gun nuts assert, “guns don’t kill people, people kill people”… THEN WHY THE FUCK WON’T THEY LET US (WELL-)REGULATE THE PEOPLE GETTING GUNS?

    mark, just askin’, y’know…..

    • John Smith

      The third hand is called “the gripping hand”. Just for future reference.

      Other than that, well, Fuck Trump; with broken glass encrusted votes.

      • JustDon’tSayDittos

        Wow, never saw a Larry Niven reference on Wonkette before. Fyunch(click)!

        • John Smith

          It’s rare, but it happens. Peace out.

        • John Smith

          Forgot to say we should meet at the Draco Tavern for a beer. Great minds and all that.

          • JustDon’tSayDittos

            Tell Louis Wu that Beowulf says to call his mother once in a while.

          • John Smith

            Well, the world knows we’re geeks. LOL.

  • Joe Beese

    With less than 10 weeks to go before the New Hampshire primary – where Jeb! has guaran-damn-teed victory – the latest PPP poll shows him at, you guessed it, 5%.

    This puts him in 8th place – behind Trump, Cruz, Rubio, Christie (!), Carson, Kasich, and Fiorina.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Oh, yeah, I’d feel real safe with Trump as President – a man who doesn’t know foreign policy from his ass and has no idea how government works.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I’d feel every bit as safe as if I were living in 1920’s Italy. Yup. I would. Possibly the trains might run on time.

      • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

        Oh, no-no-no, It Can’t Happen Here!™

        • The Wanderer

          I was reminded of that in the grocery store the other day. The lady behind the register was wearing a small cloisonné cross enameled with the US flag.
          Yep. Wrapped in the flag, carrying a cross . . .

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Italian trains???? On time???? On what planet???? LOL

        • Good point. It’s an urban myth – not even Mussolini could make Italian trains run on time.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I was only in Italy twice, but both times the trains AND buses went on strike the day after I got there. Fortunately, the strike didn’t last long.

  • Hardly Ideal

    I thought it was bad enough that Cheney needs to consume human lives to keep his heart beating. But apparently, Trump needs them to maintain a pole boner?

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    Looks like the pshrinks removed NPD from the DSM just in time for the Donald™

  • thewitchqueen74

    I’m not drunk enough for this shit.

  • Jack Parsons

    “Guys like us we had it made…. Those were the days”

  • JParkerSD46

    Dear The Donald (and Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin and Michael Savage and on and on): Go fuck yourself…hard! You are a despicable carbon life form.

  • Gleem-McShinez

    Shit. I didn’t even know Decency was sick

  • Shibusa

    Trump should put his piles of money where his big mouth is–and allow open-carry at his pep rallies.

  • fawkedifiknow

    Anything classy or sane of intelligent out of Trump at a time like this would leave me flabbergasted. Or, at any time, now that I think about it.

  • FauxAntocles

    This reminds me of the corporate strategy of laying off all their workers to maximize profit: if every American is killed by guns, Trump will be a shoo-in to be Prez.

  • Barley_Brains

    So sad that Colorado GOP cancelled the primary caucus. I was going to register and cast my ballot for that rancid piece of shit DJ Trump. I really want him running in the general election. But, I’m thinking if he makes it to the convention, there could be shenanigans since the stated reason for cancelling the CO caucus was to allow delegates to vote for anyone they want at the convention, not the caucus winner.

  • Sterculius

    The GOP would be OK with the shooting if only a bunch of disabled moochers had been wiped out. America can’t afford people who don’t contribute, unlike the heroes on Wall Street who work long hours finding ways to steal money.

    • LegionOfDo

      They would be fine with it if the shooters weren’t Muslim.

  • Comrade Wingtardd 5467p

    It’s time for Trump to go nukular and break out the GOP war cry: “Awwwww …. shucky ducky”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u08ctus1sZA

  • mtn_philosoph

    “The more frightening the world is, the more safe we feel with President Trump.”

    Superman, save us now.

    Does this mean that if we feel less safe with “President” Trump, we also see the world as less frightening?

    Curiously unintentional insight there, therealDonaldTrump.

    The people who are cowering under their beds because they are convinced that there is nothing that they can do about repairing their own house and taking on the new bully down the street are all seeking a Big Strong Father Figure to protect them. Those voters are all like scared children who want to feel safe.

    On the other hand, voters who are confident and competent adults see the broken and scary stuff as things that they can actually do something about, as problems to be solved. They want to get everyone to pitch in so that they can fix the things that need fixing at home, and they also want to team up with their friends and allies to kick that neighborhood bully out. They aren’t hiding under the bed, waiting to be saved, they are itching to get to work. They are looking for a Team Leader to organize the effort and get them all together, not an Authoritarian Superhero to rescue them. They are not so comfortable with the latter.

    • Laffing Crow

      Exactly. You got a standing O from me, even if it does freak out my little dog when I stand up and start clapping for no apparent reason.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    Remember when Trump personally led law enforcement’s manhunt and ultimate shooting of the suspects? Trump and his supporters soon will.

    Anyway, if Trump wants to kill the families of terrorists, I guess he should start with Syed Farook’s brother, who according to the media (for what that’s worth) is a decorated US Navy veteran. I mean, someone’s got to pay, right?

  • SadDemInTex

    Does he really believe half the shit he says? I hope this horror show makes people want to vote because I think Mittens can win the nomination.

Previous articleWussy President Obama Won’t Even Bomb ISIS For San Bernardino Shootings
Next articleMinneapolis Police Finally Bulldozed Those Pesky Black Lives Matters Protesters