Mississippi Says Nice White Dad Died In Police Custody From Tripping Balls, Ayup

Troy Goode and his little boy.

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Hold on to your butts, Arkansas and Tennessee, because your dumb neighbor Mississippi MAY be tanked up on some really good acid right now. Or maybe it has made a great scientific breakthrough! Because the state finally released its autopsy report on Troy Goode, who was on his way home in July from a Widespread Panic concert with his wife when he ended up hogtied by some of the finest officers from the Southaven Police Department and subsequently died hours later in their custody at Baptist Memorial Hospital-Desoto.

And surprise, the state's report, done by Mississippi state pathologist Dr. Erin Barnhart and obtained by Wonkette, says he died, not from being hogtied or forbidden by the cops from using his inhaler in the middle of an asthma attack, but from tripping balls:

Stunning, if true! That conclusion coincides with Southaven Police Chief Tom Long's claim, immediately after the incident, that Goode died from an "LSD overdose." That was before Desoto County District Attorney John Champion claimed in a subsequent presser that a "preliminary autopsy" said Goode died of some kinda heart or lung doohickey whatsit sorta thing.

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"Complications of LSD toxicity," though. How odd! Goode's wife, Kelli, said he had dropped some acid at the concert, but the toxicology report said his LSD levels were "less than half the minimum 'threshold toxic dose'" required to kill a man. And super extra weird is how the family's independent autopsy, released in November (interesting timing!), suggested Goode died as a result of complications from being hogtied, not from bad acid.

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As we've science-splained before, dying from acid overdoses is really Not A Thing. According to a 2008 study on the subject conducted by, among others, Harvard Medical School, and published in the CNS Neuroscience & Therapeutics journal, "There have been no documented human deaths from an LSD overdose." But maybe it started happening a whole bunch after 2008, and Mississippi's been keeping it a big secret from everybody!

The same study mentions eight people who had between 10 and 70 micrograms per milliliter (μg/mL) of LSD in their blood and experienced comas, respiratory problems, and other symptoms. None died. Goode family attorney Kevin McCormack notes that the "average recreational dose" of LSD is 4 to 6 nanograms per milliliter (ng/mL). (There are 1,000 nanograms in a microgram.) According to Mississippi's own autopsy, the level of LSD in Troy Goode's blood was 1.0 ng/mL.

If we are doing our back of the napkin math correctly, Troy had approximately A FUCKTON less acid in his system than the research subjects we just mentioned who, again, did not die.

Know what CAN kill people? Hogtying. 

Mississippi code § 41-61-65 requires the state to provide its autopsy to a member of the immediate family, or a legal representative, upon request. Even though the autopsy was completed in July, the state refused the family's continued requests for the results and failed to issue a death certificate.

And what do the family's attorneys have to say about Mississippi's autopsy, which the state has suddenly decided to share with the whole class?

[Attorney Tim] Edwards called the LSD ruling hogwash when reached Monday night.

"There's no medical basis to support an LSD cause of death. We've already looked into this. We've got research, we've got experts. This is without scientific basis," said Edwards, who has asked the Department of Justice to investigate Goode's death.

But this is the great center of scientific inquiry known as "Mississippi," so how could they have gotten this wrong? Haha just kidding, Mississippi is dumb. This one's going to play out in court for quite a while, we think.

[ The Memphis Flyer / The Commercial Appeal ]