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Women... whatcha gonna do?
Women… whatcha gonna do?

How old is Yr Wonkette? We remember when Dilbert was still funny. While Scott Adams has been churning out the same old cubicle jokes for years, his real passion seems to have gone into blogging from an odious libertarian MRA perspective. Unfortunately, without the logical constraints of cartoon panels, his thinking goes in some very weird directions, like this post from last week in which he diagnoses where terrorism comes from. It’s not about religion or politics or oil, he explains, but about access to another scarce resource: Women.

I wonder if the discussion of so-called radical Islam is disguising the fact that male-dominated societies are at war with female-dominated countries. Correct me if I’m wrong, but Islam doesn’t look so dangerous in countries where women can vote.

Yes, the United States is female-dominated. The evidence is everywhere. For one thing, there’s the women voting. For another, there’s the fact that women control men on dates, at least if you are in an instructional film from 1958:

When I go to dinner, I expect the server to take my date’s order first. I expect the server to deliver her meal first. I expect to pay the check. I expect to be the designated driver, or at least manage the transportation for the evening. And on the way out, I will hold the door for her, then open the door to the car.

Adams later clarifies that he doesn’t actually go on dates, at which point one’s “no shit” reflex kicks in. Then there’s the part of real human interaction the instructional films don’t dare mention:

When we get home, access to sex is strictly controlled by the woman. If the woman has additional preferences in terms of temperature, beverages, and whatnot, the man generally complies. If I fall in love and want to propose, I am expected to do so on my knees, to set the tone for the rest of the marriage.

Adams uses that “access to sex” line a lot, which makes sense for a libertarian worldview in which every human interaction, even sex, is a business transaction. For Adams, pussy is a scarce resource to which men need access, and over which women have all the control. This is what makes the United States a “matriarchy,” Adams explains, although perhaps he hasn’t checked the gender distribution in Congress or in corporate boardrooms. Forget political or economic power: If women get to say when men may or may not access their vaginas, then clearly they’re the ones in charge. Despite the clear injustice of having to find a woman who will consent to sex, Adams does at least see one beneficial side effect to all this. It somehow keeps men in Western, feminized societies from becoming terrorists.

Now compare our matriarchy (that we pretend is a patriarchy) with the situation in DAESH-held territory. That’s what a male-dominated society looks like. It isn’t pretty. The top-ranked men have multiple wives and the low-ranked men either have no access to women, or they have sex with captured slaves […]

So if you are wondering how men become cold-blooded killers, it isn’t religion that is doing it. If you put me in that situation, I can say with confidence I would sign up for suicide bomb duty. And I’m not even a believer. Men like hugging better than they like killing. But if you take away my access to hugging, I will probably start killing, just to feel something. I’m designed that way. I’m a normal boy. And I make no apology for it.

We haven’t learned a goddamned thing about terrorism here, but Adams has at least given us a frightening sample of the kind of thinking that motivated the creepy MRA boy who killed six people in Isla Vista, California, in 2014. He needed access to sex, he didn’t get it, so people had to die.

Adams has some other thoughts about Syria that are completely wrong, like the notion that most of the refugees applying to come to the U.S. are men of fighting age (not so), but they’re merely totally incorrect. It’s his supposedly rational explanations for human behavior that are really sickening, like his proposal for a “linguistic kill shot” that would end ISIS/DAESH once and for all:

If you kill infidels, you will be rewarded with virgins in heaven. But if you kill your own leaders today – the ones holding the leash on your balls – you can have access to women tomorrow. And tomorrow is sooner.

We’ll have somebody at the State Department translate that into Arabic for leafleting all over Syria and Iraq, and see how well it works. Can’t you just see all the young jihadis turning their Kalashnikovs on their leaders in the name of more access to hugs and pussy? If the women let them have it, of course. They can be so unreasonable about these matters.

[Dilbert Blog via We Hunted the Mammoth]

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  • Beowoof14

    Scott hasn’t been laid in a long time, and it looks like his options are limited to Rosey Palm and her 5 comely daughters.

  • Joe Beese

    <>

    Scott Adams is 58 years old.

    • natoslug

      I thought he was more of an Excitable Boy.

      • Msgr_Moment

        Would explain why he only went to the Senior Prom that once.

        • MsAnthropesMr

          And all the bone cages in the basement.

  • Mr Corrections

    That guy has always been dumb as shit.

  • Jen_Baker_VA

    What the actual fuck. At first I thought it has to be satire. Har har, see, the mens be bitter they never ever get da pussy.
    But then he deicided he was serious and we’re a matriarchal society because men hold open doors for their dates.
    Never you libtards mind at all that blather about a woman’s place and broads bleeding outta their whereevers and slut shaming because we haz to keep them sluts where they belong, we hold open doors gosh darn it, and propose on our knees!!!!!!1!!

    MRA dorks, here, let me help you. You want to get laid? Stop being an MRA dork. Ain’t hard.

    • Spotts1701

      I don’t know – most of the really odious ones seem to see that as a feature, not a bug. I blame shoddy quality control.

    • theCryptofishist

      What would happen to his brain if he were subjected to the 2nd Wave analysis of all that door opening as part of the cage women were kept in?

  • Cheesus Crust

    What in the actual fuck. Vagina as a resource (nay, THE resource), okay then.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      All he is saying, is give him some pootang

      • Cheesus Crust

        Who knew – all of the world’s wealth, somewhere below our belly buttons.

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          Right? Women really ARE the future. Fear our mighty hoohaws, all ye men, and tremble, for we are women and we pwn your lil snowflake asses like whoa.

        • If I were straight, I would attempt some kind of har-de-har-har joke about my Keystone XL Pipeline right about now.

      • Msgr_Moment

        All we are saying
        Is give piece a chance.

        • NationalGalleryofClipArt

          As long as we do it in the road.

    • Msmlg1979

      Yes, we just need to get out there and fuck (but not enjoy) all the sad, lonely boys and violence will cease to exist!

      • Msgr_Moment

        Lysistrata got it backwards!!1!!

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Am I wrong to assume that sad, lonely boys who are two minutes away from mass shootings are probably bad lays?

        • Msmlg1979

          Not at all!

    • AnOuthouse

      Chicks are basically all whores. They demand, demand, demand and then if we’re good and have given enough, we get laid.

  • Spotts1701

    From Wikipedia:

    “Adams married Shelly Miles in 2006…but in a February 2014 blog posting he revealed that he is no longer married.”

    Gee, can’t imagine why he’s gone off the damn rails…

    • Redgyal

      Her contract was up.

      • Beaumarchais?

        Now he’s looking for someone with swipe-card access.

      • NationalGalleryofClipArt

        He went Scientologist?

    • Count Awesome

      Maybe she was like Lucy and was always pulling the football out of the way, if one gets my drift.

  • UnsaltedSinner
  • Msmlg1979

    So what he’s saying is ladies are responsible for his and other men’s fragile, precious, delicate egos?

    • Cheesus Crust

      Yep – but somehow we’re the weaker sex, the emotional ones, and they are the ones who should be in charge of everything. Go figure.

      • Msmlg1979

        I would reply, but a boy didn’t like me, so I have to go kill some people now. Said no woman ever.

        • Cheesus Crust

          I’ve heard tell of some pints of chocolate ice cream disappearing but, ya know, that could be an urban legend.

          • Msmlg1979

            Yes. A legend.

            *hides chocolate covered face*

          • Biff52

            Who the hell buys it in pints?

          • Redstart

            People who want single servings.

        • Beaumarchais?

          If you gals want to be treated equally, you’d better step up your mass-murdering.

          • Msmlg1979

            Where will I find the time to screw dudes to keep them from killing AND get all my kills in?

          • Beaumarchais?

            Sigh… a woman’s work is never done.

          • Wombat

            Your mother never taught you to multitask?

          • Msmlg1979

            Hahahaa!!! Good point!

          • theCryptofishist

            YOu can always go Black Widow on their asses. Especially if they aren’t worth the time you spent on them.

        • tomamitai

          Well, there was that NASA lady who put on some depends and drove 900 miles to try to do harm to another lady who was banging her boyfriend.

          • Msmlg1979

            Oh, don’t get me wrong. Women kill, and quite effectively. We are only half as likely as men to be caught. But we kill people we know. We don’t mass murder strangers over rejection.

  • JMP

    So many of the MRAs like to whine about how they think it’s so unfair that men are expected to pay for dates – are they living in a time warp? I’m nearly 40 years old, and for the entirety of my adult life the expectation has been that the bill gets split on a date. But hey, these are the same idiots that think that only men being subjected to the draft is proof of anti-male discrimination – even though there hasn’t been a draft since the very early 1970s, that no men under 60 have had to worry about the draft at all.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Well, you still have to register for it, which is the same as having a drill sergant scream at you at 0500 to get out of the bunk and go on a 10 mile road march.

      So there’s that.

      • JMP

        I remember having to register for the Selective Service, it was such a burden, I had to fill out a single-page form. So awful! And it’s just the greatest injustice ever that women don’t have to fill out that form, much worse than paying them 70¢ for every dollar a man makes.

        • H0mer0

          I had to fill it out because they couldn’t tell my gender from my name.

          • Biff52

            Yes, H0mer0 is rather ambiguous.

          • Anarchy Pony

            Well the 0 does signify masculinity.

    • Women are drafted in Israel, so I suppose the MRAs are going to move to Tel Aviv?

    • marxalot

      As a lesbian, splitting the bill is so de rigueur, we might as well switch it from “Dutch” to “dyke” treat.
      …Except that “dyke treat” might already be a different, way better, thing.

      • NationalGalleryofClipArt

        I think I saw that Courtney Trouble movie.

    • Wombat

      Not a time warp – they’ve just never been on dates.

      Back in ye olde darke ages, Mr. Wombat and I would either split the bill or alternate paying. Same with all the other folks I dated.

    • Sgt. Gym Bunny

      I promise you that any man who has ever complained about paying for a date is not complaining about paying for the date. Just that he didn’t get no lovin’ afterwards. For these chumps, a woman reaching for the tab is public emasculation. (I know, I’ve done it before bwahahaha!)

      And re the women not having to sign up for secret service: These are also the same dickweeds who don’t think women belong in the military anyway–unless we’re making the sandwiches or something.

  • Honestly one of my hobbies is watching z-grade exploitation movies with titles like SCHIZOPHRENIAC THE WHORE MANGLER and I still think many people would still agree with me that those films are less misogynistic than some of the pundits Mah Wonkette highlights.

    • marxalot

      This Winter Break the communards and I are going through the overlap catalog of blaxploitation/bad kung fu movies. Bad taste, carefully cultivated, is the best taste.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      Piranha women in the avocado jungle of death libelz!!!!

  • Anarchy Pony

    While sexual frustration can indeed lead to and fuel aggression, it’s by no means anywhere near the source of terroristic violence. It’s a pretty sophomoric conclusion.

    • A very, very interesting recent article suggests that DAESH appeals to the same teenage boy angry layer that Nazis or Satanists did a couple of decades ago. Extremely interesting also that in European countries, the % of those polls who have sympathy for DAESH is much larger than the Muslim population. This is about alienation and anger, not religion or sex.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        What’s an angry young man with an authoritarian personality to do, but sign up for a movement that gives simple answers to difficult questions, clearly defined adversaries, and a sense that he’d be on top of the world if it wasn’t for those people who cheated him.

        • DahBoner

          Campaign for Trump. Wait…

      • Someone with the relevant academic chops really needs to write a piece comparing ISIS recruits to US spree shooters (although thinking about it now I’d be shocked if this hasn’t been done already).

        • doktorzoom

          Tell me why?
          I don’t like Fundies.
          Tell me why?
          I don’t like Fundies.
          Tell me why?
          I don’t like Fundies.

          I want to shoot the whole Deity down.

          • HogeyeGrex

            The silicone tits inside his head
            Are set to overload.

      • DahBoner

        Even their own promo material suggests targeting rebellious teens…

        • Anarchy Pony

          Like most cults…

    • Creepoman

      And by his own logic, why isn’t Adams suicide bombing something?

      • Anarchy Pony

        Cuz he was long ago made into an impotent girly man by America’s oppressive matriarchy!

    • TheBidenator

      I read somewhere that the main allure to fundamentalism is this sense of loss of masculinity. In the Middle East they prey upon cultural insecurity by arguing that Muslims always lose to the West because they do not adhere to their religion and make heroic tales of proud, strong Muslims like Muhammad and Salah Al Din as their selling points. You see the same thing here with Trump, actually and you saw the same thing with oh dear god I almost said “do you know who ELSE liked to argue that men had lost their manliness to recruit an army of disparate alienated fanatics…”
      But that is authoritarianism and it’s all a question of degree of the authoritarian movement with of course Nazi’s being the worst.

    • DahBoner

      Actually, he copied the idea from the book “Evolutionary Biology”. At the time the book was written, there were no female suicide bombers. It was an unconfirmed theory about what makes men want to “blowed” themselves up…

      • Anarchy Pony

        At it’s most basic, it’s frustration aggression, obviously there’s other factors at work as well though.

    • aureolaborealis

      Seems like great thinkers agree on this:

      https://youtu.be/OubHHtNM94s

  • I feel dumber for having read his thoughts. Like “I’m going to cash out my 401K and buy lottery tickets” dumber. Or “I’m voting for Trump” dumber.

  • AnOuthouse

    Men get to have have sex with captured slaves? The poor dears. Excuse me now, the old lady is ringing the dinner bell which means its time for me to prepare dinner.

  • Grokenstein

    If I fall in love and want to propose, I am expected to do so on my knees, to set the tone for the rest of the marriage.
    OH MY GOD SHUT UP SHUT UP I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU DON’T SHUT UP

    • HELP! I’M MARRIED AND I CAN’T GET UP!

      • JH Marx

        I like it when the woman’s on top.

        • NationalGalleryofClipArt

          But can you go eight seconds?

        • I recommend using a Wife Alert® marital alert system.

          It provides emergency help 24/7 to ensure that you don’t get caught with one there.

    • malsperanza

      Yeah, he might as well get a tattoo on his forehead reading SEXUALLY INADEQUATE in curly cursive letters.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      When I proposed, I waited for the commercial. It’s called courtesy.

    • theCryptofishist

      Yeah, I’d run in the other direction–or burst out in laughter–if someone proposed to me on his knees.
      Which gets to another question–is he trying to date outside his natural pool? I tell you, that as a pre-old, who can see her arrival there, over-weight, under-legged, and lots-of-other-hyphens as well, I’m not fending men off with a stick. I suspect that a lot of men who make these kinds of complaints, are over-rating their over-all score and missing what opportunities they do have in search of princesses in towers.

      Or whatever.

    • Tendernob

      My husband proposed in a dive bar with a beer in his hand. No knees involved. I will be sure to inform him, post-haste and forthwith, that he did it wrong.

  • Women can vote in Iran, dipshit cartoonist.

    • Anarchy Pony

      Shhhh, that’s not convenient for his narrative!

  • Msmlg1979

    I want to pelt this guy with tampons in public until he cries.

    • Cheesus Crust

      Tampons? Why ya being nice? Pads ladies, pads…

      • Msmlg1979

        Because you can use the applicator to launch them like tiny cotton missiles. I call them Tampoons. As in, I just Tampooned this MRA scumbag fuckboy like you’d harpoon a whale!

        • shastakoala

          Is that you Carrie?

          • Msmlg1979

            Plug it up! Plug it up! And by “it”, I mean his hateful mouth.

        • Cheesus Crust

          I was thinking more of the… with large rocks and sharp objects (and votes, of course) – did I leave those things out?

          • Msmlg1979

            You throw whatever your heart desires! Ladies choice!

        • H0mer0

          or festoon him with tampoons

          • Msmlg1979

            That’s a great idea for a feminist Christmas tree. Look at this lovely garland made entirely of tampoons and glitter!

          • emmelemm

            IUDs make great ornaments. Or earrings!

          • Amy!

            And if you wear one as an ornament, and someone asks you about it, you can touch it, exclaim, “How did that get there?” and then let a look of profound embarrassment overtake you, mutter “Oh,” and walk away rapidly, clutching the earring as if to hide it from view.

            The hardest part is keeping a straight face until you’re out of sight. :-)

        • Biff52

          National Lampoon did a thing about Tampoons back in the 70’s, featuring actual propellants.

          • Msmlg1979

            Haha! My sisters and I thought we invented Tampoons in the 90s. Damn, damn, damn! Beaten to the punch again. We didn’t even have fancy propellants, just applicators, obnoxiousness, and a can-do spirit.

          • Biff52

            The worst part is, it was likely at least co-written by PJ O’Rourke.

          • tomamitai

            Every time I think I’ve thought of something new I just Google it and learn how true it is that there’s nothing new under the sun.

    • MsAnthropesMr

      Potatoes.

  • Count Awesome

    Dilbert was funny once? That is definitely news to me.

    • Tess

      If you worked in a cubicle it was definitely funny to see the Stupid Shit that management in your “Private Sector is the King of Efficiency and All That Is Good in Capitalism!” company did was not, in fact, confined to your company but rather existed everywhere. Maybe “funny” was not the right word, but it was good to see stupidity trotted out and actually labeled “stupidity” instead of “breakthrough management thinking.”

      • doktorzoom

        I liked Phil, the Prince of Insufficient Light

        • bobbert

          I was partial to Mordac, the Preventer of Information Technology.

          • nexus

            have to love Alice… she’s the only person in the strip with balls!

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Adams went woo and wingtard about a decade ago. Too bad. He had some astute observations about life in the cubicles once.

    • natoslug

      He knows cubicles and middle management. Unfortunately, he’s not so good with sentient beings.

    • Count Awesome

      In the words of Charlie Brown, ‘Good grief.’

    • Latverian Diplomat

      And those observations are probably a bit data now. Not that you would ever have seen a Dilbert strip on the rise of the “brogrammer”.

    • theCryptofishist

      Yeah, but once he was no longer working there, his relationship to the material changed.

  • natoslug

    Didn’t Warren Zevon once write a song about Scott Adams?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Werewolves of London?

    • He went home with a waitress, just he always does. How was he supposed to know she was with ISIS too?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        When I was on TDY at Palmerola AB in Honduras in 1985, “Lawyers Guns and Money” was the unofficial Joint Task Force song. By order of the JTF commander!

        • He must have been a desperate man.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            He identified strongly with “the shit has hit the fan”, seeing that he, along with the rest of us, was stranded in Honduras.

  • TheBidenator

    Dilbert? More like Derpbert if you ask me…eh? eh?

  • Creepoman

    To clarify, whenever Adams says “hugging,” insert “raping.”

    • natoslug

      Whatever happened to being satisfied with a good old-fashioned Christian sidehug and a little sideboob?

  • natoslug

    I dunno, Scott, I’ve found that while I’ve occasionally had dry spells, I haven’t ever wanted to hurt anyone because I haven’t gotten laid. I’ve also found that not being an odious cockmunch helps considerably in the “gettin’ some” department.

  • Msgr_Moment

    Access of Evil

    Well played, Sir, well played.

  • TheBidenator

    The good thing is I have always thought Dilbert was lame so I don’t feel the least bit bothered by the terribly unfunny dick who writes it being an MRA Wingnuttus Libertarianus. Maybe I have a sixth sense for these things because I’ve never read Orson Scott Card or Robert Heinlein (I saw “Starship Troopers” and as I understand it, Heinlein would have been fighting mad over that film calling his glorious future society fascist and comparing it to third Reich) and dear god not even in my most hard up for entertainment days would lead me to read Ayn Rand. I guess I just knew they all sucked….
    Plus, when I was a teen I liked to get tossed out of class, didn’t read much and tried to show off what a bad boy I was to impress the girls….but I’m thinking it more has to do with a sixth sense “I see wingnuts!”

    • Vegan and Tiara

      Nobody has ever read one of Ayn Rand’s books in its entirety.

      • LadyLaz

        I did. In high school. The fountainhead. It sucked. But I was a little socialist cock sucker then as well.

        • Vegan and Tiara

          I tried reading it in high school, but the writing was so bad, it just wasn’t possible to slog through it.

        • marxalot

          My ex apparently got the whole way through “Anthem” believing it to be a Swiftian satire. I think she was a soph in college before she found out the horrible truth.

        • jmk

          I read something she blarted in high school also too. Even then, I knew that it was crap…and it was the first thing I thought of when I heard Dorothy Parker’s quip, “This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.”

          • mailman27

            More wit in that sentence than in 695 Randian pages.

      • MsAnthropesMr

        One of my favorite bits from Southpark is when officer Barbrady comments on reading Rand. Hilarious.

        • Anarchy Pony

          This is the worst piece of shit I’ve ever read and I’ll never read another book again!

      • Celtic_Gnome

        I tried to read Atlas Shrugged. Figured, 1,500 pages, no sweat. Fifty pages in, I decided to read to Page 150, expecting to have a good idea of what’s going on with 10% under my belt. Got to Page 78 and threw it across the room. Maybe I could have even tolerated that objectivism bullshit, but she is such a mediocre writer.

        • mailman27

          “Mediocre” is lavish praise.

        • Vegan and Tiara

          “Mediocre writer” is putting it way too kindly. She straight up sucks.

      • Vienna Woods

        I finished Anthem, but it’s really short, and even in gr 11 I knew it, her, and her ideology were all pieces of shit, and was never even remotely interested in trying another one.

        • Vegan and Tiara

          For some reason I was under the impression that The Fountainhead was an American classic book. I tried reading it in high school and couldn’t finish it. Then I tried reading it when I was older and I was like “what a piece of crap, who thought this was an example of good American writing?” Then I grew up and realized it was just a dumb Libertarian book that somehow or another managed to enthrall idiots decades after it was written. The whole book is completely illogical.

    • JMP

      After Starship Troopers, I would love to see Verhoeven film an adaptation of Atlas Shrugged or The Fountainhead.

      • SuspectedDemocrat

        It would be a lot better if that three hour radio monologue was heard in the coed shower.

        • NationalGalleryofClipArt

          Ayn Rand’s Dare Dorm.

          • SuspectedDemocrat

            oh… god… mmmmf… THAT’S NOT DENISE RICHARDS!!!!1111

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Whoever holds the rights now is probably a true believer, and would never countenance an actual auteur getting their hands on the sacred texts, which like the Bible (according to fundies) and the Qur’an (according to Daesh) has only one proper interpretation…a literal one. You have to remember that Rand managed to get King Vidor to put out a shitty film version of The Fountainhead starring Gary Cooper and Patricia Neal because she refused to realize that film is a different medium than prose.

        • Beulah

          I thought the 5 second version was pretty good:
          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8fkdBz2bds

          • Amy!

            Was the second actor there Rand Paul, incognito with a better wig?

        • theCryptofishist

          At some point–a couple hundred years from now, if Disney has its way–copyright will lapse and all sorts of alternate versions can be made.
          Then things might get interesting.

        • Doug Langley

          Ahem. Atlas Shrugged has already been made into a movie. A trilogy, actually. Producer was a fan boy with no video or film experience. Actors replaced in each film. Shoestring production values. Story updated to take place in 2016, which is even more improbable than the original story.

          Rotten Tomatoes ratings:

          Part I . . . . . . . . 11%
          Part II . . . . . . . . .5%
          Part III . . . . . . . . .0%

          And now Al Ruddy (yes, the producer of The Godfather) wants to do a remake.

    • zerosumgame0005

      I wish I could have talked about that book with RAH, in it he made such a deal about how good it was for Rome to burn down and genocide Carthage. I still want to ask him if it was so dammed to do that, where is the Roman Empire? did it extend it “life” one day?

    • bobbert

      If you’ve never read any Heinlein, you’ve missed some decent science fiction (although not so much good writing). His young adult stuff and short stories are the best, because they rely less on character development (not one of Bob’s strongest points).

      I suspect you’re right that Heinlein would have hated the movie. I almost hated the movie because it was so ham-fisted. I mean, making a satirical, cartoonish anti-war movie in 1997 wasn’t exactly a bold move. The book wasn’t great, but the movie really had almost nothing to do with it.

  • Bitter Scribe

    I’m trying to enjoy his strip (which is still funny IMO) and ignore his MRA stuff, but it’s getting harder and harder. Does he actually think that American women always set the terms for sex and never engage in it when they’d rather not?

    • Count Awesome

      Adams and Jim Bob should sit down and have a chat about that.

      • Bitter Scribe

        Yeah, sometimes I wonder if Michelle Duggar will get fed up and walk out like that Westboro daughter profiled in the New Yorker. But probably not.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          I greatly doubt Michelle still has a working fed up gene. Some of the daughters and sons might.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          I’m surprised she can still walk at all.

  • TheGrandWaz00

    An anagram of Scott Adams is sad tomcats. It’s like he was destined for MRA leadership.

  • TheBidenator

    Actually dumb Douchebert guy, the places you named as being “male dominated” are dominated by fundamentalist religious nuts and the “matriarchal” places are secular. So much like not knowing what a funny joke is if it sat on your face you cannot even begin to understand social science or how complex social systems are created….dumbass.

  • natoslug

    If Berkeley Breathed says something stupid, you’d fucking better not report it, because I don’t want to have to abandon Opus.

    • LadyLaz

      It’s coming back! It’s coming back!

      • natoslug

        It’s been back for a few months now! (Well, Bloom County has been, but that’s where you get the original Opus fix anyways)

    • Creepoman

      Groening’s still ok also, too, right?

    • data_ninja

      Berkeley Breathed is pretty set in his ways I think, and good for him. He’s too smart for that crap.

      Now, if Bill Watterson popped out of the woodwork, a-hootin’ and a-hollerin’ against Syrian refugees, I would probably have to take my childhood memories and burn them in a large, cathartic bonfire. (And resist succumbing to the flames as well)

      • natoslug

        There’s no way I am surrendering my Calvin and Hobbes collections to the ash heaps, burn piles or recycling bins of history. For me, the three that need to remain sane are Breathed, Watterson, and Kelly. And given that Kelly is no longer consuming oxygen, I have faith he won’t start spouting nonsense anytime soon.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Is Trudeau still OK?

          • natoslug

            Trudeau is still okay, but I don’t think I’ve looked at a Doonesbury since the 80’s.

          • tomamitai

            He only does new strips on Sundays and re-runs old ones the rest of the week.

          • Vienna Woods

            His Amazon series about Washington is pretty good, but I refuse to pay for Amazon Prime, so not sure if I’ll ever get to see the rest of it.

        • Amy!

          I go Pogo!

          But what the fuck is wrong with Fantagraphics? We’re barely past the most famous bits of red-baiting, and the delays of each subsequent volume get longer and longer! C’mon, I wanna see the strips for 1961!

      • Anarchy Pony

        He always came off as rather a liberal peacenik, or at least that was my impression, with Calvin once asking his father how soldiers killing each other solved the world’s problems and another rather obvious critique of mutually assured destruction in a sunday strip involving water balloons. He was very pro-conservation/environmental too.

  • Redgyal

    Dear Scott Adams, it’s called natural selection for a reason.

  • LadyLaz

    Oh man. I used to love dilbert. I married a computer dude and his work experiences sometimes mirror the strip but now…. oh man. Adams! You just affirmed every negative male stereotype of a computer geek.

  • Indiepalin

    Even Sluggo didn’t fuck Nancy on the first date.

    • zerosumgame0005

      so on the second date he roofied her and of course it was all her fault for not giving him access right now!

      /snark for the reading impaired

  • JohnnyZhivago2

    Where are the parents of these terrorists?????

  • OneYieldRegular

    Next up, PETA’s Ingrid Newkirk will explain how DAESH came about because of the lack of a strict vegan diet.

  • zerosumgame0005

    I am now really glad I have not kept up on this guy, that makes me sad he went down that low road…

  • JohnnyZhivago2

    The real blame here (besides Obama, of course) is video games. Give these terrorists a good hobby, working with their hands and we could solve this.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      Pussy and video games don’t appear to go hand in hand. This might be an either/or situation.

      • JMP

        Some of these folks are angry that the real world doesn’t work like video games. “I’ve performed the Hold Door Open subquest two hundred times now; where’s that reward of the Hot Girlfriend I’ve convinced myself I was promised?”

        • Vegan and Tiara

          Good point!

        • doktorzoom

          I put on my robe and wizard hat….

          • mailman27

            Make sure there’s no extra “z” on that hat. I hear that can get you into worlds of trouble.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Too much time spent on Leisure Suit Larry

      • marxalot

        Depends a lot on the gamer. Let’s do a study! I’m pretty sure people into open-world RPGs and puzzlers get more sex than people into RTS and FPS-on-rails games, but that may be researcher bias.

        • Vegan and Tiara

          If I understood any of this, I’m sure it would be very funny. :-)
          Note to self: take time to learn about this thing the kids call “video games.”

        • MsAnthropesMr

          “I’ve wasted my life”

        • data_ninja

          What about MMORPGs, or MOBAs? I think we all know what happens to the JRPG players…

          • Anarchy Pony

            MOBAs are terrible and so are the people that play them.

  • marxalot


    WHAT?

  • Aileen

    Perhaps ironically, the phrase “access to sex” makes me clamp my knees together. So gross.

    • It’s like there isn’t even another person involved.

      • zerosumgame0005

        in his opinion there isn’t, not a real person anyway

      • marxalot

        Yeah, what happened to that fully realized Randian independent agency, hrrrrng?
        Oh, yeah, forgot: no wimmin in Ayn darling’s world were ever agents.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Now I understand why all the sex in Atlas Shrugs was so rapey.

        • Grokenstein

          The Only Real Man is the Man who stands free of the trappings and restrictions of Compromised Society and common civility and basic humanity and blah blah blah fart fart.

      • Beaumarchais?

        Even Temple Grandin is more empathetic.

    • Msmlg1979

      He’s describing a transaction. Buy a meal, get some ass.

      • clubseal

        I found in my early 20s that baking a woman a cheesecake was something of a golden key in that regard.

        • Msmlg1979

          We love cheescake, but more than cheesecake, we love sexytime with nice guys that like us AND bake!

          • Anarchy Pony

            Go on…

          • Msmlg1979

            Do we get banhammered for cheesecake erotica?

          • Anarchy Pony

            Only one way to find out…

          • Biff52

            Will you require pix of my streudels and pies? I have apple trees.

          • Msmlg1979

            Yes! Food porn!

          • clubseal

            I once had sexytime with a girl I liked while baking a cheesecake. It got a little overcooked.

          • Msmlg1979

            Damn, you really ARE a good baker! :)

        • theCryptofishist

          Adams’ too lazy, apparently.

      • theCryptofishist

        He might have loved being an American soldier in Europe during and after WWII.
        That is how it worked then, isn’t it? Of course, the women had taken over the entire continent.

      • Aileen

        I think that’s what bugs me so much. He sees dinner out not as an opportunity to have a conversation with his date, or even to eat good food, but as prepayment for sexytimes.

        • Msmlg1979

          It’s dehumanizing. So many harmful junk thoughts from one mouth, you can hardly address all of them. We can be happy we aren’t women who play into this dynamic!

    • HobbesEvilTwin

      So well put. Eleventybajillion upfists!

  • docterry6973

    Adams said some breathtaking things there, which prove that he never read Freud.

    • That_got_me_thinking

      IKR? Wonder how often he screams “Mommy!” when wearing his O face.

      • H0mer0

        What about if the telephone is ringing?

        • Spotts1701

          Answer it?

        • That_got_me_thinking

          You mean when he is, um, busy in the basement bathroom?

  • LarkintheAM

    Jesus H. Fucking Christ on a Segway, I never knew that Dogbert was Scott’s doppelgänger.

    • Spotts1701

      It used to be that he would describe Dogbert as the dark, cynical part of him that expresses opinions that would get him beaten up if they originated from his own mouth-hole.
      So what I’m saying is that “Dogbert” has clearly engineered a hostile takeover.

      • H0mer0

        I would say he sounds more like a Catbert, although it does remind me of how my dog gets upset when the cat won’t respect her authori-tie.
        Also too, WTF Adams? “Access to sex?” I mean it’s not as if I can reach over and borrow my S.O.’s penie whenever I want, it has to be ready and willing and being 63, that may involve better living thru chemistry.

        • marxalot

          It’s “access to pussy” he’s not getting, and that’s because it’s a part of the woman’s body and she has control over it, you fuckbarn but he says “sex” to make it sound more abstract and less like a crime. You want access to sex? Nobody duct-taped your dick to your leg, go jerk it like a “normal boy.”

          • jmk

            THIS!!!!!!!!!!

          • theCryptofishist

            He can certainly afford a stable–um, harum of real dolls.

    • nexus

      Look at how Dilbert is written… Dogbert is Scott’s ego, and Catbert is every CEO he ever knew..

  • SK

    Scott Adams is a creationist.

    Repeat that three times, and he’ll show up on your comment like gangbusters.

  • Mavenmaven

    Wow, you would think a guy that famous would have gotten some by now.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Never met a libertarian male who could respond to the question, “are you getting lots of really hot sex?” with a yes answer.

      • H0mer0

        I know one who used to before he broke up with me.

  • bluicebank

    No, no, no. It’s lack of access to booze and cigarettes that causes terrorism. That’s why the fedgov combined Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms under one agency. Because logic! (cough)

    • Biff52

      And now also Explosives, for the fourfecta! All the fun things under one umbrella!

      • Anarchy Pony

        So are they FATE, now?

        • Biff52

          Sadly, it’s ATFE. No sense of humor.

          • theCryptofishist

            Ah the feds…

          • Amy!

            “It’s a bomb! Beat FEAT!”

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      We should have listened to President Carter. This whole situation can be fixed with the right amount of LSD and an Allman Brothers album.

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      I think you may be on to something.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    Actually, it’s about ethics in comic journalism.

  • JustPixelz

    This is not going to help Scott Adams get access to women who can read.

  • say wha

    Scott Adams. Scott Adams, hmmmmmm. Is he that Constitution guy Ben Carson was going on about?

  • The Wanderer

    Wow. So much wrong wrapped up in one set of excerpts.
    I’m of A Certain Age, and was taught well by my two parental units that the dating protocols Adams finds so stifling are actually Good Manners. You know, etiquette/courtesy. If pussy is offered, you act responsibly; if pussy is not offered, you act responsibly. You do NOT go on a killing rampage if you didn’t get the opportunity to drain your man-marbles – what, never heard of porn and lubricants?
    Adams should have (like Dennis Miller) stuck to being funny.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Isn’t it interesting that, when funny people become conservatives, they stop being funny.

      • hereinWA

        I was just talking to an actual comedian about that the other day. Liberal comedians seem to be funnier and more successful than conservative comics.

        • SmotPoker

          It’s all about “punching up” rather than “punching down”….

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    I would respond with the title of his own book, but I’m not sure he should even be doing that anymore.

    http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51WDWp92oKL._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg

  • witsended
  • LibreV

    After all that exceptionally hard work being a gentleman and his date still has the right to tell him to go hump an ice cube. What a shame. The sad fact is that no matter how much he can put on that charge card he’s ugly as sin.

    • SadieLechner

      And his outside ain’t none too pretty, either.

  • MrBlobfish

    No doubt listening to Ted Nugent when banging that one out.

    • NationalGalleryofClipArt

      +1 wango

      (Tango costs extra.)

      • hereinWA

        Which is the problem! he should NOT be charged extra for Tango, let alone for Wango, because women OWE it to him to give him sex on DEMAND.

  • Metadude

    Well, let’s see, women are the ultimate 1%ers and they sometimes Go Gault by witholding their talents. Makes sense….um, I guess?

    • Rick Hill

      Not withholding talents, withholding resources.

      • natoslug

        Will we be greeted as liberators if we invade?

        • Rick Hill

          Greeted warmly but the welcome soon wears off and you find all your stuff on the front lawn.

  • clubseal

    I don’t know what’s more preposterous – that he actually had these thoughts, or the fact that he committed them to print.
    And Dilbert has always sucked, Dok Zoom.

    • Redstart

      Not always. At one time he seemed to be channeling everything crazy that was happening at the large corporation at which I worked. We speculated the department wit was feeding him plots. Favorite line: “Get out your re-org boots!” BTW, rumor was that when Dilbert’s tie was uncurled he had, er, made it to home base. Did that ever happen?

      • proudgrampa

        I agree. In my old days (pre-Fiorina) at HP, we followed Dilbert very closely. I’m convinced Adams had a spy in our development group.

        • jmk

          We thought he had at least one in our development organization at Compute…ummm…. in our company also too…but then, when none of the managers in his strip went to jail, we realized it probably wasn’t the case.

        • SuspectedDemocrat

          He got his best strips from anonymous tipsters in various large corporations so, most probably, yes.

        • Anarchy Pony

          My grandpa worked at Boeing for years as an engineer and he was very fond of Dilbert.

      • Doug Langley

        It happened. One strip where he and a gal were getting along, then the final panel his tie was flat.

  • LarryHoudini

    Great job, bitchez! First you rendered Scott Adams a 50-year-old virgin, then you inspired . . . RADICAL ISLAMIC TERRORISM!!!
    (See how upset you made me? You made me say it.)

  • DahBoner

    That’s what a male-dominated society looks like. It isn’t pretty. The top-ranked men have multiple wives and the low-ranked men either have no access to women, or they have sex with captured slaves

    So, just like Utah then?

    https://media2.giphy.com/media/c5av6uHZRy0vu/200w_d.gif

    • proudgrampa

      DING DING DING DING!

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Arkansas, too.

  • Dr.Zoidberg

    What the-?

  • Swampgas_Man

    Cheez, I used to read books by this guy, it’s strange that he went to the Dork Side.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      The Derp is strong with that one.

    • Anarchy Pony

      Dork libel!

  • hvdv

    “I’m a normal boy.”

    No, 58-year-old Scott Adams, you are not.

    • NationalGalleryofClipArt

      I bet he’s got some Jared Fogle stuff on his past, too.

  • Rick Hill

    Female dominated country? I, for one, welcome our vagina-bearing overlords. (or is it Vaginized?)

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      And I’d like to remind them that I can helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground Splenda caves.

      • Dorothy Nelson

        Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

        • Anarchy Pony

          There is something splendid about it…

    • theCryptofishist

      No, I think you are vaginized when the overladies have their winsome ways with you.

  • malsperanza

    Dilbert guy needs to hook up with Joyce Carol Oates. They are made for each other.

    https://twitter.com/joycecaroloates/status/668511482917871617

    and

    http://jezebel.com/please-stop-tweeting-joyce-carol-oates-709397352

    • Callyson

      “Naive” is the polite word for your inane query, JCO…

      /FFS

    • Biff52

      I used to like her work when she was in Playboy, and I bought it for the articles.

    • DahBoner

      ISIS isn’t “pure”. They’re fucking their brains out raping women and Farm animals.

      Just like America’s Evangelical Pastors…

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Most men confuse sharing power with losing power.
    To say we have a Patriarchy is ludicrous, when women make up 51% of the population but hold less than 20% of Congressional seats, and that “high” number is fairly recent. In the 1970’s women held less than 4% of the seats in Congress.

    • laineypc

      You meant Matriarchy not Patriarchy, right?
      And the CEOs and top leadership in just about every field.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Yep, typo, sorry. I will edit.

    • theCryptofishist

      And how many women are there on the list of wealthiest men? Okay, it’s called wealthiest people now, but it’s kinda window dressing.

      Oh wait, as a woman I get my power in Lucky Charms, which totally over rule all other worldly power. I’d forgotten that.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    So. Dilbert guy is kind of dilbert, No?

  • FauxAntocles

    From an amoral perspective, I have to agree that if you offer a young man unlimited pussy you can control his every action. On the other hand, you can’t.

    • Vecciojohn

      You ain’t just a-yankin’ yer lariat there, cowpoke.

  • nothingisamiss

    What the everloving fuck. No, really.
    What
    The
    Everloving
    Fuck?

    • Vecciojohn

      Gobsmacked ain’t even in it.

    • Spotts1701

      No, no, the problem is the lack of Everloving Fuck.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    The pool of stupid is pretty much a bottomless pit.

    • Vecciojohn

      And it is endlessly refreshed.

  • Juan de Fuca

    “When we get home, access to sex is strictly controlled by the woman.”

    If you view your wife as some type of artificial intelligence robot, then your access badge probably is expired, Adams.

    • Vecciojohn

      Control/alt/dilbert?

      • doktorzoom

        Sudo get naked.

        • Anarchy Pony

          Sudo get me a sandwich.

      • Juan de Fuca

        Blue Screen of Death.
        Or for the database nerds here –
        mysql>FLUSH PRIVILEGES:

        • marxalot

          Ahem. That’ll never complete. Check your shift key, comrade.
          ; or GTFO

          • Juan de Fuca

            I should have caps locked nerd ;)

            Thanks also, too. It’s been a couple of years since learning that stuff and I flushed most of it, sadly.

    • Major_Major_Major

      But, but, but another name for the old twig part of the twig and berries is root. So…

      • Juan de Fuca

        cd: root: permission denied also, too?

        • Major_Major_Major

          I was going to do some Fortran77 snark, but frankly, I wouldn’t even subject a bunch of godless, elitist, liebrul heathens to that brainrot.

          • Juan de Fuca

            It would sail far over this 44 year old brain, for sure. I’ve seen Fortran and worked with some older DEC systems I believe used it for basic file transfer things but yeah…no.

          • Major_Major_Major

            Only 41, here, but I am in a field that tends to have the olds continue to code in what they know. I learned it out of necessity, and should have gotten double time while doing so. Give me C or give me death.

          • jqheywood

            I can Real*8 to that….

            I’ll show myself out….

  • Callyson

    So the women of the world could put an end to terrorism tomorrow by sleeping with the violent extremists, just to calm them down? Is this man fucking deranged or what?

    • cousin itt

      Deranged, yes. Fucking, apparently not.

    • sw19womble

      Lysistrata – you’re doing it wrong.

      • unionthuggery

        Calonice was a fun character.

  • laineypc

    Ah yes, the “projecting my experience to develop wide swaths of unsubstantiated social psychological theories mixed with grains of evidence” approach. I know it well. It is so so very tempting.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Uh, yeh, I am never reading Dilbert again.

    • Jay B.

      It turns out that I’ve preemptively boycotted Dilbert for almost two decades now.

      • theCryptofishist

        Alas, the truly not crazy ones retired…
        Watterson (Watterman?–so, so long ago), Larson, Bechtal
        Okay, Larson is the only one I can spell, apparently. Alas, the I don’t expect to outlive any more good comic strips…

    • hereinWA

      I’m considering shredding my Dilbert books and sending them all to him in Pleasanton, CA…

  • Vecciojohn

    There used to be a law firm in town called Hugs & Pussy, LLC. Divorce lawyers. They were married. To each other. Then they divorced and she married her old college roommate, Connie Linguish. She was a lawyer too, so they became . . . . .

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    I am pretty sure this sex thing works both ways. If a woman is feeding you boner pills and raping you against your will, tell her to stop. If that does not work, leave.

    • Vecciojohn

      Who said it was against my will?

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Sorry. From that weird facial expression, we just assumed it was against your will.

        • Vecciojohn

          We warned you it might get weird when we asked you to watch. You used to be fun. What happened?

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            Kids. Mostly.

          • Vecciojohn

            Ah, the still, sad music of the American parent.

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            Pity me not, for once I was free and had the sex in the car, and the sex on the beach (but not in Florida) and experimented with the drug ( though nothing with needles or chemically manufactured because I was never A complete Stupid ™ except for the stuff Lucy liked with her diamonds) and hot wired the car (allegedly) and did other dumb stuff like drinking to excess in the company of a bunch of foreigners (who were sweet, and made sure I got home ok).
            And now, in the lingering twilight of my majority, having survived my misspent youth, I raise the next generation. For I have had my fun and now get to try to make sure the spawn have none of theirs.

          • natoslug

            I tell the kids to party it up, because my generation and those previous have completely fucked things up for humanity, so have fun now while it all burns to the ground. My wife thinks I might want to reign it in a little.

  • Vecciojohn

    The creep alarm went off on this guy a long time ago.

  • cousin itt

    Scott Adams, the human cubicle.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    I’ve had these times in my life that could best be described as “dry spells”. Not once during those critical times of not gettin’ any did I feel the urge to shoot up an Eagles of Death Metal concert. I just fapped to porn.

  • Vecciojohn

    So women control the access to their bodies . . . Oh man, I think my head is going to explode!

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      Let’s drop him in prison with sex offenders and see how he feels about controlling access to his squishy parts

      • CognizantImpiety

        No violins here, eh?

  • cousin itt

    On the other genital, access to dicks is sadly ubiquitous.

    • Vecciojohn

      A zen koan for our own time. I want to learn at your feet, O Great White Monstrosity!

      • Ants In My Eyes Johnson

        The master asked the student: When you say ‘assless chaps’, what do you mean? For chaps are always assless. Answer me then, the riddle of the assless ass, and something, something offensive stereotypes.

        The student, after some thought, admitted their failure. They asked: Master, explain to me please, the mystery of the assless ass.

        To which the master replied: It is how you get the one-handed clap.
        At this moment, the students eyes were opened, and he experienced zen, and also the depressing realization that he was never going to get that tuition money back.

        • Vecciojohn

          This is the wisdom the good man shall pass on to his son when the years shall have mellowed him like unto a bottle in the smoke.

          • cousin itt

            This is the wisdom the good man shall pass on to his son when the years shall have mellowed him like unto a bottle bong now available!

            fify

      • cousin itt

        That’s O’ Great Hairy Monstrosity to you, sir.

  • CognizantImpiety

    Not sure how you got so much sand in your vagina DokZoom, but maybe some lube would help.

    • ladylazarus

      I don’t know how you managed to get your jock strap so tight around your testicles like that, but i’d recommend getting some scissors…. those things are turning purple.

      • just_jim

        On the jock strap or the testicles?

        I know which I’d rather he snip.

  • Vecciojohn

    I think this guy could become his generation’s Citizen Kane. Or has Trump beat him to it? One thing is certain: only time will tell.

    • ButchWagstaff

      If Scott Adams murmurs “Rosebud”, you know he’s not thinking about a sled.

  • nmmagyar

    I lost 50 IQ points just reading the excerpts. Wha?

  • proudgrampa

    “Access to sex.” Jesus. Sounds like he’s describing connecting to a computer system. Adams is A Idiot.

    • Vecciojohn

      Something something surge protector

      • sw19womble

        It’s all that dirty talk of male-to-female connectors.

        • Vecciojohn

          God, I love it when you talk electronic!

          • sw19womble

            The love that dare not beep beep boop its name.

    • Enfant Terrible

      $ftp access2sex
      ftp> Login required, enter USER
      ftp> Invalid userid or password, try again
      ftp> Password expired, next time try: PASS current-password/new-password
      ftp> Invalid new password, next time try: PASS current-password/new-password
      ftp> User logon rejected by installation exit routine
      ftp> User is not authorized to this application
      ftp> User is not authorized to this terminal
      ftp> Userid is not defined to the security system
      ftp> File transfer failed; aborting connection; bye
      $

      • sw19womble

        Have you tried turning it off then turning it on again?

        • Duke

          Yes, but Ive only mastered the off part.

      • marxalot

        marxalot$ ssh marxalot@sex.localhost
        marxalot@sex.localhost‘s password: *************
        Last login: Trust me, you don’t wanna know from Where were you anyway?
        [marxalot@sex.localhost ~]$:
        [marxalot@sex.localhost ~]$:lay
        -bash: command not found
        [marxalot@sex.localhost ~]$: service lay start
        -bash: insufficient privileges
        [marxalot@sex.localhost ~]$: sudo -s
        sudo password for marxalot: ***************
        [root@sex.localhost ~]$: service lay start

        unable to start service: ERROR condstart reciprocate
        [root@sex.localhost ~]$: service reciprocate start
        service started
        run complete
        [root@sex.localhost ~]$: ./cigarette.sh
        [root@sex.localhost ~]$: exit
        [marxalot@sex.localhost ~]$: exit
        connection to sex.localhost closed

      • ChicagoLovesYou

        Pretty sure Adams’s only real option is:

        var fist = Hand.fist;
        fist.wrap();
        bool satisfied = false;
        while(!satisfied) {
        fist.up();
        fist.down();
        }

    • mailman27

      Can’t he “access” his weiner with his hand? Sounds like the same amount of joy and happiness.

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        And he would not even have to open a door

        • hereinWA

          But he WOULD have to open his fly, and fish around for an hour or two until he found it.

  • Bad Granny

    Dear Dilbert Guy, Women like sex, we want to have sex, it just seems we don’t want to have sex with you. XOXO Granny

    • Vecciojohn

      Just how bad a granny are you, toots? We don’t get dames like you around these parts much. Don’t suppose you’d like to knock back a few shots and swap lies? No huh. Ok then. Uh .

      • theCryptofishist

        Define “like you”, please.

        • Vecciojohn

          You, sir or madam, are no gentleman. I bid you good day.

  • Gleem-McShinez

    None of those fucking concepts fits together at all. He might as well have finished up with “And that’s why I only allow Christian-domesticated gerbils into my rectum, Mom. Ambien terrorist kill your parents.”

    • Doug White

      hey, now that you mention it, I’M feeling a bit radical at the moment… any chance of getting a pre-emptive treatment?

      No?

      Sigh…. the stuff that works for rich cartoonist a-holes never works for me :-(

  • Ä Ğrümpy Çät

    So … ISIS is winning because I won’t fuck the radicalism away?

  • Frank Lee

    I met Adams at least 25 years ago, he was still working as an engineer manager at the time. He was funny and smart and seemed to be a good guy in general. About 10 years ago I went from just reading Dilbert to reading his blog. There was the whole fiasco of him opening a restaurant, treating his employees like shit & going bust and I started to notice the worms crawling out of his ears. He has gotten increasingly nuts, I quit reading him before ’08 as it was not fun to watch someone whose work I admire go insane in public. I’m not surprised that he wrote the sludge quoted here, just disappointed.

    • cousin itt

      Maybe the 9/11 virus? So many people went from sane to batshit thanks to that terrorist operation. I don’t get it but, perhaps there was something existentially freaky about those attacks that I just don’t get.

      • sw19womble

        Dennis Miller for one?

        • proudgrampa

          Precisely.

      • Grokenstein

        It just revealed that we were far, far more vulnerable than we ever dreamed, and that the “dirty foreigns” at whose US-induced suffering we would snicker could–and would–put the smack on ordinary citizens who think they bear no responsibility for their government’s actions abroad.

        The attack on Pearl Harbor was miles (and decades) away from the heartland and a military target; Timothy McVeigh was a white boy and therefore a “lone wolf.” This was different. This was Those People, and they could strike at us in our own backyard. I don’t think any other country has enjoyed the safety buffer between action and consequence that we had, and realizing it was an illusion probably drove some of the more “exceptionalist” Americans a little batshit.

        • arrrghle

          A lot of people have a really hard time with the idea that bad things can happen to people (themselves) for no reason. If bad things happen to other people, they deserved it somehow by their “choices.” We have a hard time dealing with reality.

      • malsperanza

        Again I repeat Malsperanza’s axiom: the farther one was from Ground Zero, the greater the looniness of the response. This is because for most Americans, the bombing of the World Trade Center occurred in a sort of fantasy-world. (“It looked like a movie” so many people said to me, who had seen the footage on TV. “No,” I said, “it really didn’t.”)

        The trope of American action flicks is that we always, always, win. Always. Imagine a Bruce Willis Die Hard movie in which the darkskinned Arab or Brit-accented South African corporate sleazeball walks into the room and blows Bruce’s head off. It is against all the rules.

        In the present Paris moment, Americans are freaking out all over the place, raging against refugees and foreigners, terrified and lashing out; looking for someone to start a war with, stat. The people of Paris are sweeping up the broken glass and planning to find housing for 10,000 more Syrians.

    • tomamitai

      All engineers are nuts, but those who need to keep a paycheck coming in will suppress the worst of it in public. Adams has enough fuck-you money that he can let his freak flag fly without having to worry that it might negatively impact his lifestyle. Plus, most of his fans probably don’t read any of his non-Dilbert material. There’s also a chance that he’s just trolling, for shits and giggles.

    • DahBoner

      Anyone who thinks IQ translates into a successful restaurant concept probably thinks chickens can be trained to use computers.

      The best cooks are hungover alcoholics.

      https://media0.giphy.com/media/tn3kTJo4P4y1G/200w_d.gif

    • nexus

      Nicely describes how I felt watching Dennis Miller do his 180-degree brain flip & become a snotty george horowitz

  • Billy Croissant

    The Scott Adams training film:

    https://youtu.be/GVytXppIFw0

    …I’ll be in my bunk.

  • chascates

    That isn’t funny; it’s pathetic.

  • Rachel Book Harlot

    Can’t believe this winner is single.

    • hereinWA

      I thought he married his long-time girlfriend??? Maybe she had enough of his shit and left.

      • hereinWA

        Yup, divorced early last year. Musta been nasty. “Women OWE me pussy”. Yeah, okay. “If I don’t get it, I’m gonna get VIOLENT!” Yeah, okay. Get the Thorazine.

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        I think she did. I think they parted ways last year.

  • ryp

    So he’s saying if women were calling the shots everywhere we wouldn’t have terrorists?

    • veska

      That’s how I’m reading it, because any other interpretation makes me want to hurt someone.

  • ZangoCrudmonger

    How do such thoughts even come into a rich white man’s mind? I’m going to wander over to the imagery of refugees whose adults are often drop dead gorgeous, already ruddy features accentuated by exercising day after day to evade raging assholes, looking fierce, hungry for food and life. Go to them now, Scott Adams. Go. Please.

  • Sterculius

    The easy explanation is the Scott Adams got money, and suddenly the Libertarian “Selfishness is good! Helping people is hurting them! I am super smart, and talented, and I work really hard, that is why I’m so rich!” bullshit starting sounding pretty sweet.

  • sw19womble

    This is the perfect example of why, when I hung around libertarian fringes, in relatively speedy fashion, I slowly smiled and backed my way towards the exit.
    I mean, the small-l libertarian fringe does come up with some interesting theories (and a lot of the time the “interesting” needs those quotation marks) but sadly a lot of them don’t realise they are just theoretical think-tank type wonkery, and not necessarily workable in the real world, with real human-type beings.
    Also they sound batshit crazy when waffled, semi-formed on a blog, rather than with your mates down the pub, when at least you can blame the worst excesses on being pissed.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      I hear Socrates was a bugger when he’s pissed

      • Steverino247

        Well, he was Greek.

      • sw19womble

        The hemlock cocktail soon took care of that.

      • nexus

        Emmanuel Kant was a real pissant who was rarely ever stable..

    • Mehmeisterjr

      I read Scott Adams’ blog first and his initial point seems obvious and reasonable. The prospect of multiple-rape in an after life is a recruiting tool for extremists. Beyond that, however, his analysis runs so far off the rails that I can’t follow it.

      Honestly, I think the strip is still funny. Maybe not with a bungee-boss-level gag every day but he still reproduces exactly the atmosphere of dysfunctional corporate bureaucracy.

      But yeah, maybe stick to cartooning.

      • Duke

        Dilbert is no longer funny for me. It’s become repetitive and, worse, repetitive of my career. (I don’t need that BS)^3

        • Mehmeisterjr

          You have my sympathy. I’m beyond career at this point.

          When I look at the strip I still see (despite the obvious decline with time) a great, exasperated empathy for overworked, under-appreciated Alice, the PHB’s justly homicidal secretary, Tina the Tech Writer, Asok the Intern and the rest of the usual cast.

          Since writers usually write about themselves (viz. G. B. Shaw, “Emma Bovary, c’est moi:”), it isn’t too much of a stretch that many of Adams’ best ideas for Dilbert, Dogbert and Catbert come from inside, just as the best PHB and Bald-CEO ideas come from contributor/victims.

          But when he gets out of three panels, I don’t get it.

          • jmk

            I’ve posted many a copy of some of his Tina the Tech Writer strips at my desk, as have most of the other technical writers I’ve known.

          • theCryptofishist

            Wow, that’s amazing. Flaubert once said “Major Barbara? That’s me!” What were those 19th century writers on to? Or should I amend that to: What were those 19th century writers on?

          • nexus

            Absinthe, opium, and lots of booze.

    • onedrewthree

      And if their parents are unlucky the small l libertarians go for philosophy degrees then move home forever to work on their thesis. Unfortunately we don’t live in Orson Scott Card world where people good at assembling teetering towers of logic on how the world works in the form of essays rule the world.

      • theCryptofishist

        Luckily, after the last republican debate, a bunch of those philosophers are now going to trade school and learning how to weld.

      • sw19womble

        Did a google and eww Orson Scott Card seems nice. :/
        Spot on.

  • aklibtard

    TBF, there is some sort of nugget of truth in what he’s saying. I think that the dehumanization of women does contribute to terrorists’ nihilistic worldview. The dominant male hormone, testosterone (sic?), controls for both sex drive and aggression. Take away one of those and all you have is the other. The idea that America is some sort of matriarchy because men pick up the tab at Applebees is pretty ridiculous though. Women must also be the gatekeepers of sex with all the power over it since there’s of course no slut-shaming in our society or victim blaming of rape either. I still like Dilbert though.

    • malsperanza

      Men stopped picking up the tab in 1962.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      I agree, the dehumanization of women does contribute to horrible actions by horrible people. But then, calling women the access to sex, alluding that all they want is nice stuff to hand over said tits and ass, is pretty darn dehumanizing.

    • LadyLaz

      The kernel of truth (something China is confronting) is that people (and men are people) are happier and less prone to violence when they feel that they have an opportunity to build a successful life. This includes being married (to whomever), raising kids, pursuing good work. It’s no surprise that many of the foot soldiers in revolutions and social discontent are those who feel cut out of and marginalized by society.

      • Doug White

        Best story along those lines is ‘Rat Park’. We all remember the old psych experiment where rats are given a choice between food and cocaine, and a huge number of the rats dies of starvation because they just keep hitting the button for coke…

        Well Rat Park details a further, more extensive study that shows very clearly that the rats choice of coke over food is ABSOLUTELY related to how ‘fulfilling’ a life they have available. Read the wikipedia entry and you can feel good about liberal policies!

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rat_Park

        • DahBoner

          That’s right. Rats or humans who live a full, complete, fulfilling life don’t use as much drugs.

          The whole Addiction industry is based on bullshit…

      • nexus

        Excellent distinction.. hearing lately that men 30-55 were actually dying at a higher rate than 20 years ago, just confirms all of this.. LOSS of a stable, happy life IS contributing to health, as well as mental problems!

  • mailman27

    I’ve been to two state fairs and a rodeo, and… you know what I’m sayin’.

  • Duke

    Scott has access to sex. He’s just too busy typing misogynistic bullshit to do it.

    Pro-tip for assholes: type with one hand.

    • nmmagyar

      I have even heard of agencies that will send you people to have sex with. Shocking, I know.

      • Doug White

        And no doubt Adams would then tell everyone how much that paid-partner enjoyed it…. right?

  • Manhattan123

    ..

  • Shibusa

    Adams sounds like those guys who spend all their free time in tittie bars, telling anybody with ears that it’s the women who have the real power in those places. Because nothing says I-Have-Power like humping a pole in exchange for twenty bucks.

  • georgiaburning

    Scott needed to get out of the cubicle more often. Those overhead fluorescents combined with the monitor rays are known to cause brain damage in engineers.

  • handyhippie65

    i always kinda thought dilbert was a dick. now i know why.

    • nexus

      I always thought scott wrote dilbert as himself, and DOGBERT as his ego.

  • jmk

    Kind of OT, but speaking of guys who are shitbags, is anyone still being pursued by any of the ammosexuals who went nuts over Kaili’s piece on Alberta Ted not carrying his manlyman-stick safely a couple of weeks ago?

    • BloviateMe

      Pursued?

      I keep my profile private only because I don’t want the mange ridden dogs to follow me here when I get drunk and start trolling for the laughs.

      • jmk

        Well, my profile’s private and my name’s not distinctive enough to gewgle thanks to lessons learned from some shitheels I encountered when I was a young interwebz tadpole, so this wyclif moran is not actually following me, other than on that piece.

        He’s apparently still angry that Kaili insulted his metal peen substitute and he and one of his socks have been lashing out at me and filling up my notifications count with their stupidity on a regular basis for the last 15 days.

        I just wondered if my new acquaintance – unsought, but damnably persistent – has been making any other friends among the Wonketeers.

        • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

          I’ve got a couple of losers who will respond no matter what I say, so I usually just ask them which of the republican candidates will end up in jail before this election is over or some such thing. But if I just say “you are a dickhead,” they will respond to that, too.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            That’s Mr. Loser to you, bub!

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          I never get any good stalkers. I am so jelly.
          But no, can’t say as I have. But then, I ignore my notifications like a bad person

          • jmk

            You can have mine!! His name is wyclif and he’s a desperate attention-seeking moran.

        • AntiDerpomeme

          Disqus really needs to add an “ignore” feature or something similar to discourage stalkers. Because these trolls with no jobs and no social lives don’t have much else to do besides spending hours annoying the rest of us.

          • nexus

            LiveLeak has a very good “block” feature just for persistant trolls.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          The memory of the gigantic ass-whupping I imagine you delivered to him will fade in time…more recent takedowns and humiliations will come to the fore. Either that, or maybe he’ll get evicted from his mom’s basement.

          • jmk

            I can’t seem to shake him off…he’s that desperate for attention.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Yikes. Sad…and more than a bit creepy. Hang in there; the Wonkette Army has your back.

    • Playonwords

      Fuck, you have a stalker. Use the Disqus reporting system

      Click on their name and open in new tab but also click on the grayed out “x hours/minutes ago” comment and do the same. This second opens a direct link to the comment. From the user’s profile page click the flag in the top right. this opens the report page in a new tab.

      Now you are set. Report the user for spam in the drop down menu and go to next page. Paste the direct link to the comment into the space provided and tick “follower spam” and follow the instructions from there.

      Make sure you do not respond to their posts (or they will do the same to you).

      I think it takes a while but Disqus does loose the losers after a while

      (BTW sorry again for my misunderstanding with you – at least I think it was you)

  • btwbfdimho

    Rumania is testing new technologies to improve the global allocation of refugees. https://33.media.tumblr.com/1fbaf8ee21e588da08a534244b517696/tumblr_n9s8dgrDT61r868elo1_400.gif

  • btwbfdimho
  • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

    “Yes, the United States is female-dominated.”

    Welllllll, they do have half the money and all the pussy.

    • Incoming Ham

      And generally are the predominant victims of rape. Nothing says “domination” like being a rape victim.

    • Doug White

      ???? What? Is my sarcasm meter broken, or do you actually mean what you typed?

      • John Smith

        That’s a Richard Pryor line, I believe.

    • sw19womble

      36.5% of the money, anyway

  • Hamblerger

    Wait…if access to sex is controlled entirely by the woman, does that mean that men don’t have the right to say no to women we’re not interested in?

    If that’s the case, then I need to go apologize to a girl I knew in high school and ask her if she’s still interested.

    • nexus

      Funny thing, I bet documented cases of that would be hard to find.

      • Hamblerger

        I’ve seen a bit of it, mostly in long-term relationships where the husband is disenchanted. The person I knew in high school was someone who had a crush on me, but I simply didn’t feel the same way, which was awkward for both of us.

  • Skipper Doyle

    More people should STFU.

    • Dave

      That is why comments are allowed on the wonkette.

      • Skipper Doyle

        I was thinking of this Dilbert person. Because of course, as we all know, comments are not allowed at Wonkette.

  • Incoming Ham

    Did someone ask him a question that led to this elegant and masterful load of fetid horse shit or did he just feel that it was an important enough statement for an important enough man to make unasked?

    • Doug White

      If anyone questions him in ANY WAY he gets nasty and ends the conversation, and then writes ignorant crap about his ‘attacker’….. he is clearly not well emotionally/mentally…

    • J Goodwood

      Yeah, apparently he considers his comic strip a significant ‘boon’ to humanity! Oy…

      • nexus

        It’s still an amusing strip, with some actual laughs… but Pearls before Swine is currently the funniest strip on pulp.

  • JoyP

    I can only say OMG.

  • glennisw

    But if you kill your own leaders today – the ones holding the leash on your balls – you can have access to women tomorrow.

    How nice of him to offer us up. Shithead.

    • junior friggster

      I don’t know if I needed a trigger warning or a safeword for that quote.

      • nexus

        A shot of jager, maybe?

        • junior friggster

          MAYBE ALL 3. :)

    • Head First

      Congrats! You missed his point entirely. Point your outrage machine in a more useful direction.

  • beatbort

    Libertarians never got laid in college is the only way I can figure it.

    • unionthuggery

      Most people don’t like dating to be treated like a business transaction.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      For some reason, I never found that copy of Atlas Shrugged under the arm very appealing.

      • Doug White

        That’s because it appeals to those locked in male adolescent sociopathy. “If I am not one of the dominant males in society the failure MUST BE with society!!!” I had a bunch of friends in high school and college who completely bought into this BS, and every single one of them ended up with significantly delayed entry into adult society. No jobs, no relationships through their 20s and into their 30s. Most of them finally came around (i.e. grew up) but even today they display a really unhealthy anger about their not ending up as significant Alpha Males….

        • edith prickly

          Yeah they have trouble with the idea that just being smart isn’t good enough. You still have to get off your ass and accomplish something. There was a brilliant episode in the fourth season of Doctor Who about this type of guy – The Sontaran Strategem. Libertarian wonder boy totally got played by ugly-ass warrior clones. But because it’s Doctor Who, he redeemed himself in the end. Scott Adams – never going to learn.

          • Doug White

            The reality is that ‘intelligence’ is just an attribute, like height, or attractiveness, or hair color, and while it is an extremely useful attribute in our society, it does not make one ‘better’ than anyone else, despite Ayn Rand’s attempts to make it seem that way. And as you said, if it is your only positive attribute, then you still will often find that you won’t succeed to the degree that you expect. In US business, it is abundantly clear that charisma, eloquence (i.e. salesmanship), drive, ruthlessness and a full head of hair are attributes that lead to success just about as often, or even more so, than intelligence. And that isn’t even mentioning some of the ‘attributes’ that REALLY make success easier (i.e. being white, being male, being born wealthy)

        • marxalot

          No one ever reads those books and comes away saying “man, that’s right, it’s all right, I’m a fucking parasite! I need to get out of the way and stop dragging down the real exceptional genius types…”

      • nexus

        I slogged thru that in my 20’s (I read fast, but a week & a half later, I was tired!) and came away with two things.. “written from a viewpoint that ignores the existence of Nukes”….. and, ” Who the Hell could even SPEAK a 40–page speech– Galt’s radio address– much less expect anyone to sit through it??”

    • onedrewthree

      They’re too busy being too smart for ‘all this’ but still doing ‘all this’. Then getting a 3.0 average in ‘all this’ because english degrees are hard, man.

      • fredfnord

        English? Libertarians don’t major in English. They major in computer science.

        • onedrewthree

          You are completely right. I’d say engineering too but I think that’s more of a passive anarchist type of mindset.

    • Me not sure

      Free to be, me and me?

    • junior friggster

      I’d make an AQUA BUDDHA joke here, but I can’t think of one. :(

  • Brewerofbeers

    There was a time when Dilbert was funny?

    • Doug White

      When it deals solely with the idiocy of corporate IT in America, yes. But as usual, the jerk who wrote a few funny cartoons thinks that since he does ONE THING well, he must do EVERYTHING well, and so now we get serenaded with his ignorant political and social views. He’s sorta like James Cameron with far smaller accomplishments and an even crazier core philosophy.

      • essbird

        I’d bet he became hardcore libertarian when he made a lot of money and the nasty government started redistributing six figures of it to the Poors and Blahs.

        • fredfnord

          No, he always was. A lot of the people in IT and software engineering are. It has to do with being white and privileged and lucky and unable to spot that not everybody else is. If you are doing great, and lots of other people aren’t, and you assume that luck had nothing to do with it and that everyone is exactly like you, then the only reason that they could be doing worse than you is if they are Bad People and therefore don’t deserve to be helped.

          • Doug White

            As I have said before, it is my firm belief that virtually every male goes through a period of sociopathic behavior when they reach puberty… the good news is that MOST of us get over it after a few (OK, maybe 10) years and remember that those other constructs who we keep hitting and insulting and cheating and trying to screw are actual human beings with feelings JUST LIKE US… and then some of us get all guilty and spend a few years trying to make up for it. Some guys, however, simply never get over that sociopathy…. and end up as Scott Adams or Orson Scott Cars or worse… sometimes MUCH worse…

          • nexus

            Go further back… I think OSC was a spawn of Robert Heinlein’s f’-ed up writings..

      • nexus

        still makes more sense than Quentin Tarantino does…..

    • fredfnord

      No. Dilbert was always ‘edgy’. Ha ha here is a description of my world, and it is stupid, but I am above it and looking down because I am smarter than everyone else.

      Everyone feels that way occasionally, but a steady diet of it means that you 1) never try to change or fix any of the dysfunction, and 2) eventually become a complete asshole to everyone. The only exception to #2 is, as in Scott’s case, if you start out being a complete asshole to everyone.

  • LadyLaz

    Reading this again this morning and it still boggles my mind.

    Dear Scott: maybe stop being such a doormat to women? I know I am stereotyping, but I married an IT geek, and I want to smack several of his friends for being such doormats. Stop. Just stop. No one owes you their vagina just because you are “nice.” If you, Scott, don’t want to be led around by your genitals or trade sex for money, don’t! My husband is not stereotypically handsome, but he’d walk away if any girl tried to take advantage of him. He didn’t go down on his knees to marry me, doesn’t have to beg me for sex (nibbling my neck is usually effective), and has even been known to turn me down! Because, you know, I don’t own his genitals even after marriage.

    Dude read some savage love and get some self respect.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Wait a second. Call me crazy, but I not only think Adams has a point, I’ve been saying the same thing myself for years. Sexual repression, like exists in Islamic countries generally, where neither men nor women are sexually liberated or empowered, is quite likely to contribute to the feeling of desperation and alienation that fuels things like suicide bombing and homicidal rage. He’s absolutely right.

    Now, all that stuff about America being a ‘matriarchal’ society because men exhibit some kind of superficial chivalry on dates… he’s on his own there. I don’t know what that has to do with the other argument, and I think he’s wrong. But he’s making two arguments here. One is fucked-up adolescent-nerd misogyny. The other… is basically correct.

    • Boscoe

      That’s kind of how it goes when you mix facts and projection into a steaming soup.

      • hereinWA

        I was thinking it wasn’t *soup* that was steaming here, but a big, huge, “healthy” pile of…..

    • fredfnord

      What I don’t get is that his regular drum is ‘men should have more rights and women should have less’. Which is to say, ‘we need to be more like Syria!’ And now he denounces Syria and says that the reason we aren’t Syria is that women control access to their own vaginas. And then goes back to saying that women should have fewer rights, immediately.

      He seems to see nothing ironic or indeed untoward in these opinions.

  • Sgt. Gym Bunny

    Yes, we women happen to control access to pussy because they happen to be attached to OUR BODIES. Sorry for the inconvenience, fellas.

    What with all these wonderful advances in sex medicine and technology for the menfolks, it’s a wonder they don’t just learn to grow their own damn twats. If they can turn corn into fuel, who knows…

    • nightmoth

      all the upvotes—damn, that’s funny!

    • Brewerofbeers

      Fleshlight trademark infringement!

    • Boscoe

      Or buy a nice Japanese sex robot.

      • nexus

        If that ever really hits a wide market… women may find themselves kicked to a LOT of curbs.

  • Playonwords

    Without reading all the comments so someone else has probably thought of this

    What if he is so pissed out of his skull that the woman has to drive, does he still open the driver side door and does he stand a chance of getting a Darwin Award?

    Also seconding the “No Shit” response in the article regarding Scott Adams’ dating

  • calliecallie

    This is some pretty fucked up shit. Makes me regret ever enjoying that cartoon. Come to think of it, I might have an old book of his cartoons around somewhere. Into the trash/recycling bin with that thing!

    • hereinWA

      Better yet, put it through the shredder and send it to him.

    • nexus

      Yeah, that’s the spirit.. trash things that entertained you, because the creator has VIEWS that don’t match yours perfectly… CHRIST, is everyone turning into a pudding-thin-skinned bag of angst?????

  • AncienReggie

    I think Dilbert’s dad is pretty much spot on about the pathologies of a patriarchic society. Beyond that, though … he’s more bent than Dilbert’s tie.

  • CW15

    Well, he’s not wrong in that places with more equal rights for women, and higher participation of women, generally have better outcomes, GDPs, etc. But on everything else, he’s wrong.

    • Boscoe

      The question is whether correlation is causation though. You could turn that around and say more advanced countries with higher GDP’s etc naturally tend to be more socially evolved and thus women have more rights in them because EVERYONE has more rights in them.

  • Angry_Cop

    Wow, somebody’s bitter.

  • Lazy Media

    Cpl. Josh Ray Person said all that a LOT better in “Generation Kill”: “Look at this shit, how come we can’t ever invade a cool country, like chicks in bikinis, you know, how come counties like that don’t ever need Marines, I’ll tell you why, it’s lack of pussy that fucks countries up, lack of pussy is the root fucking cause of all global instability, if more hajis were getting quality pussy, there’d be no reason for us to come over and fuck em up like this, cause a nutbusting haji, is a happy haji.”

    • sw19womble
    • William_C_Diaz

      The use of the word ‘haji’ to describe people of Islamic faith not only annoys me, but reminds me how ignorant and small minded a great many of my fellow
      Americans are. It doesnt surprise me that it came from the mouth of a Marine though, because if we have any service that caters to the ignorant, racist, small minded demographic, it is the Marine Corps.

      Have a great day!

      • nexus

        You really have to unwind that stuck butt-mainspring.. or are you one of those “microaggression” fools??

        • William_C_Diaz

          The comment is ignorant, racist, disrespectful and uncalled for. The fact that you are attempting to defend its use tells me pretty much everything I need to know about your dumb ass.

          Have a great day!

          • nexus

            You are “special”… aren’t you??

            Thin-skinned idiots like you drive any debate away, while those of us NOT “threatened” by another viewpoint, watch clowns like you in amused disgust.

          • eric

            I destroyed you earlier. You have nothing to say yet here you are.

  • essbird

    There actually us something to this. An Egyptian radio journalist did a great story on how the separation of the sexes in conservative Islam contributes to young male anger. The quote I remember is “It’s hard to be a terrorist if your girlfriend won’t let you.”

  • MikeyArmstrong

    I haven’t been hugged today. I’m going to kick the shit out of the next person I see because male.

  • DahBoner
  • eric

    Some societies repress women’s rights and generally subjugate, infantilize, and abuse them. Those women, having no other recourse take revenge by mistreating males they have power over, their male children. Male children grow up hating women and continue the cycle all over again. In societies where women aren’t subjugated, this cycle doesn’t exist. Also, his ideas regarding the lack of access to wives or sex are the same ideas put forward by my Near East studies professor at the University of Arizona. Not saying I agree, but he is not alone in these thoughts.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      “Those women, having no other recourse, take revenge by mistreating the only males they have any power over, their male children.”

      That’s one of the most fucked-up notions that I’ve ever read. Congratulations?

      • eric

        Take it up with Muslim author Reza Aslan. He introduced me to this idea in his book Beyond Fundamentalism

        • William_C_Diaz

          Then both you AND he are ignorant asshats who need to be buried up to your necks in an anthill.

          Have a great day!

          • eric

            Right. I’m sure your explanation is much more nuanced and sophisticated. Please tell us how your lifelong experience as a Muslim from one of the affected regions completely contradicts Mr. Aslan. Can’t wait to hear it! Oh, not a Muslim or from the Middle East? Then I’m sure you can provide a reliable source that provides a contradictory explanation. My guess is you are completely out of your depth and talking out of your ass like a pathetic teabagger. You make me sick.

          • Odd Jørgensen

            If aslan had grown up and lived in the M.E. maybe we would take your view more seriously, but he grew up in san Fran, hardly a hotbed of islamic radicals.

          • eric

            Its not my view or his. Its the leading theory among scholors. Please, tell us your thouroughly researched counter to this theory.

  • J Goodwood

    female-dominated countries

    Sounds like Scotty is simply aching to be ‘collared’… Creepy mofo.

  • herrointment

    Holy comments, Batman! Mr. Adams blog is one of the more interesting ones out there and I think it’s worth a look. The Master Wizard series (sadly re-titled) is terrific. From what I’ve read there I’m thinking the Dok missed some context somewhere. I also, too may be totally wrong about this.

  • DrShitferbrains

    Bill Mahr had a similar rant a couple weeks ago but his was better: sexual repression makes people violent, and you can’t get much more repressed than if every woman you’ve ever seen was wearing some kind of black ghost costume.

    • BogartCat

      I’ve never really understood why Bill Maher gets labeled a misogynist. He includes a lot of very smart female guests who he listens to attentively and does not patronize them. He defends women’s issues all the time.
      Presumably it’s because he hangs out at the Playboy mansion and exclusively dates the sort of women who do as well. But a personal preference for dating women that society labels as bimbos does not mean that he thinks that all women are bimbos, or that he doesn’t like and respect smart, accomplished women too.

      • William_C_Diaz

        Bill Maher is an ignorant, bigoted asshole of the kind that seems to attract a following as a ‘professional atheist’. There was a time that he was a tolerable comedian, but much like Dennis Miller, his humor has long faded and his political relevance is fading the more he slides towards pro-Israeli right wing discourse.

        That and banging Ann Coulter, that really ooks me.

        Have a great day!

        • BogartCat

          Well, sure. But that doesn’t have anything to do with whether he’s a misogynist or not. ; )

  • gingerland62

    Men like this wonder why women do not like them. Self awareness is not their strong suit.

  • Mr Corrections

    Oh, I just remembered why I think Scott Adams is awful:
    because he threatened someone with jail for putting swearwords on Dilbert cartoons

    http://www.lafferty.ca/files/stuff/images/the_Dilbert_Hole/
    (sadly the original interview seems to be gone now)

    The DIlbert Hole was, naturally, 5,000,000% funnier than Dilbert ever was.

  • hereinWA

    We sure Adams isn’t gay? Because he seems to evince a great deal of butt-hurt. “I’m a cockwomble who said cockwombly things, people called me out on it, therefore they are bottom-feeders”. Divorced last year, too, so, I’m guessing it wasn’t pleasant? So now all women are the enemy because they CONTROL the pussy, since it’s ATTACHED to them. Maybe he SHOULD switch to men, since they’re all too willing to share it at any time, apparently.
    http://blog.dilbert.com/post/133805326516/now-that-i-have-your-attention

  • mtn_philosoph

    The only time that a woman “controls your access to sex” is when your Mom takes away your porn. Listen, jerkwad — sex involves the physical cooperation of two individuals, each of who is in charge of their own bodies. She (or he) doesn’t control your access to sex any more than you control hers or his. In reality each one of you controls your own access to sex.

  • Sterculius

    How much is an “access to sex” card?

  • mardam422

    Life is so simple when you’re a child.

  • Frank Underboob

    If Scott Adams drew the Dilbert strips the way he actually thinks:

    (WARNING: NSFW)

    http://rule34.paheal.net/post/view/1457941

  • DutchS

    If you could get over reading things into Adams’ comments, what he says amounts to “Societies that treat women like animals are at war with societies that don’t.” For the very simple reason that a society, anywhere, that treats women as having rights is a mortal threat to ISIS’ view of absolute male domination (Also ROK, but that’s another matter).

    • Frank Underboob

      Yeah, no, that is not at all what Adams’ is saying.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Eh. What you’ve got there (in Adams’ post) are a couple of reasonably sensible (if sort of obvious) insights buried under some false statements and an adolescent-provocateur style.

    The good points?

    1) Intense sexual repression and misogyny under ISIS (or presumably any other religious/political system) is crazy-making and bad for people, and is one of the roots of terrorism.

    2) Men’s lives are too easily considered cannon fodder and disposable during wartime.

    The bad points?

    Everything else.

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