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In an inspiring act of defeatocrat cowardice, the House of Representatives voted Thursday to pass its emergency OH GOD NOT ANOTHER ORWELLIAN-NAMED BILL, the SAFE Act, to let ISIS know good job, guys, you’re winning, keep up the good work!

The legislation, passed by a vote of 289-137, was rushed through in response to last week’s terrorist attacks in Paris. […]

The bill requires the nation’s three top security officials — the Homeland Security secretary, FBI director and national intelligence director — to certify to Congress that each Syrian or Iraqi refugee is not a security threat before the refugee can be admitted into the U.S.

The bill was passed mostly by Big Strong Republican Daddies, with the help of 47 mom jeans-wearing Democrats. Hooray for bipartisanship! And while we needn’t wonksplain to you, at this point, the strict two-year vetting process already in place for Syrian refugees who turn for help to a country that doesn’t want ’em — no sir, not even their children — we’ll let the White House, which has already threatened to veto the bill, remind you of this minor detail:

The White House said that 2,174 Syrian refugees have been admitted to the United States since Sept. 11, 2001, and “not a single one has been arrested or deported on terrorism-related grounds.”

Democrat Jerrold Nadler had the audacity to remind his colleagues of America’s shameful not-all-that-long-ago history of refusing safe haven to Jewish refugees trying to escape the Nazis. Like, say, that Frank family in Holland, whose cowardly daughter liveblogged her staycation in an attic, until they were all discovered and sent to camps to die because they didn’t have enough guns.

“We face a choice that will echo through history,” Nadler said. “We must not let ourselves be guided by irrational fear.”

But what does he know? This is different because it’s exactly the same, only SCARY MUSLIMS instead of SCARY JEWISHES. Good thing a majority of the House decided, along with a majority of governors, that irrational fear really is the best defense.

Brilliant map created by Tucker FitzGerald
Brilliant map created by Tucker FitzGerald

House Minority Leader Harry Reid has promised to stop this bill in the Senate, and Obama has promised to veto the hell out of it. But at least it sends a real strong message to the world about the ease with which American “leaders” (h/t Very Serious Fraidy Cat Ron Fournier) are willing to trade the nation’s most basic values — what was that about your poor and tired and huddled masses? NEVER MIND! — for a false sense of security from the millions of people who are actually being murdered by the bad guys.

[USA Today / Reuters]

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  • Zippy

    Fucking cowards, every last one

  • Seaside

    G.O.Pee themselves

  • Steverino247

    Allowing them in is a glowing reminder of how they caused them in the first place.

    • I vote we set up temporary RVs on the Capitol lawn and house some of the refugees there.

      I also move that we consider letting some of the refugees crash on the couches in congressional offices.

  • JoeChristmas

    I guess those refugees will be stuck between Iraq and a hard place.

    • Thaumaturgist

      Syriously

      • FlownOver

        Dubai me a cold one and I’ll forgive you for that.

        • Querolous

          Iran out of puns.

          • PubOption

            Oh, man.

        • Smibo

          Kuwait it, you guys.

  • baconzgood

    “We must not let ourselves be guided by irrational fear.”
    He don’t know a GOP congress very well.

    OH By the way, looking at that map…I’m proud to be a Pennsylvanian today.

    • Count Awesome

      He don’t know the GOP well.
      FTFY

  • dslindc

    On the bright side, we still have a President who is out of fucks and happy to call the bastards out each and every time, even if it makes Ted Cruz have a sad.

  • cousin itt

    And the security chiefs will have to swear on a stack of bibles eleventy miles high and if we are attacked to be allowed to be tarred and feathered while dressed only in David Vitter’s best Pampers while paraded around the Capitol by chimpanzees.

    • Jukesgrrl

      AOT,K

  • When an American shoots up a joint and kills scores of people: Eh, live with it, people. Get mohr gunz!!!

    When a hypothetical ISIS member might do it: OHGAWD!OHGAWD!!OHGAWD!OHGAWD!OHGAWD!OHGAWD!!HIDE!!!!

  • AntiDerpomeme

    Fan-fucking-tastic, playing right into the Daesh terrorist hands. This is exactly what they want. Sad that we’re stupid enough to give it to them. http://www.thenation.com/article/assault-on-life/

    • Hardly Ideal

      A little OT and maybe uncalled for, but I saw that headline image of the thug in a tank and immediately thought “I know this kind of idiocy is giving Daesh a big hate-boner, but geez!”

      I’ll show myself out.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    These assholes are giving aid and comfort to Daesh. They’re doing everything Daesh wants them to do.

    Time to charge every last one of them with treason.

  • I hope every member of Congress gets an actual hard-copy certificate for every single Syrian refugee admitted. In triplicate, one from each agency, at both their congressional office and their local office. Just to be sure that Congress is sure.

    • marxalot

      Heck, have ’em sent to their homes, too. All of their homes.

  • baconzgood

    Finally a failing bill that doesn’t have to do with repealing health care.

    • dslindc

      I’m starting to miss the days of failed attempts to repeal Obamacare.

  • Joe Beese

    Only after the Homeland Security secretary, FBI director, national intelligence director, and Sean Hannity have certified that these children are not security threats will we permit them in the Home of the Brave.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The Home of the Brave is a total joke now.

      • willi0000000

        has been since 9/12

    • Gleem-McShinez

      I SEE ONE REACHING FOR A ROCK!!!!! TEEEEEERIST!!!!

  • Villago Delenda Est

    42 Democrats who have certified themselves as cowards.

  • Cheesus Crust

    For posterity’s sake (in case we still have the interwebz in 100 years) I, Cheesus Crust, say: fuck these assholes. They’re pants shitting, chickenhawking cowards, and I hope each and every one one of them winds up in a position where they have to rely on someone else’s goodwill and are treated the same way they treated these people. Golden Rule Motherfuckers! (please, no banhammer of loving correction)

  • Callyson

    States that have surrendered to ISIS

    I am damn proud that neither my home state (PA) nor my adopted state (see avatar) is among these…

    https://i.imgur.com/lbP4iQj.gif

    • Cheesus Crust

      And they say Californians are wusses… pffft

      • theCryptofishist

        It’s the cheese.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      That map needs an update; my wingnut sister was livid that Oregon joined the “Tell Daesh to fuck off” camp.

      • Callyson

        (bumps Portland higher on the “cities I want to visit soon” list)

    • Count Awesome

      Governor Brown was a seminary student to become a Jesuit priest. He actually seems to follow the teachings he learned there.

    • baconzgood

      I don’t think we did too shabby ourselves. NOW if the Steelers can just get back to a smash mouth type rushing offence…

      • Callyson

        Here, here!

        • Jukesgrrl

          What a great photo.

    • ChicagoLovesYou

      Unfortunately my home (MA) and adopted (see username) both are, and both are supposed to be libtard havens. That’s what we get for electing Republican governors.

    • dslindc

      I’m shocked that my home state (UT) didn’t surrender immediately. Gov. Herbert is usually all about the wingnutty GOP bullshit. But don’t worry, the Legislature is trying its hardest to force it, as per usual.

    • LaylaOhGee

      I’m a Pennsylvanian, born and raised, and it’s nice to be proud of a PA governor for once. I’m really disappointed with my current state’s gov., but he is a new red blotch on an otherwise healthy blue Maryland.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I’d just like to point out that Kentucky’s current sane governor, who is of course a Democrat, said ISIS should go shit in its collective hats. But our incoming piece of shit teabagger moron governor-elect is running and crying and shitting himself with the rest of the spineless pussies. That’s how we ended up on that map as jerky-eating surrender monkeys. :(

  • Electric Ukelele Land

    Love the map, but how did you manage not to mess up the placement of New England?

  • OneYieldRegular

    We can start protesting this bullshit with a new boycott of Governor Mike Pence’s state. Has that guy ever learned anything?

  • cousin itt

    In a related feat of cowardice asshattery, In the Senate, Jeff Flake of Arizona and Dianne Feinstein of California introduced legislation Thursday to disqualify Europeans and other foreign citizens from being granted a visa waiver to enter the U.S. if they have traveled to Syria or Iraq within the past five years.

    • Joe Beese

      There is not a bag big enough to contain all the salty dicks that Dianne Feinstein ought to eat.

    • I was waiting for Dianne Feinstein, D-Defense Industry, to pull some bullshit like this.

      • nmmagyar

        D-AIPAC also, too

    • Callyson

      DiFi, what in the everloving fuck? Goddammit…

    • georgiaburning

      You don’t ever change, do you, Dianne?

    • JaaaaaCeeeee

      The logic behind floating an alternative Senate surrender-to-Daesh is that maybe Democrats just need something to vote FOR instead of AGAINST (cowardice=leadership).

  • Blackest Noobs

    are we no longer a decent group of people?

    for all our own bravado, in the end, we’re all a bunch of pansy-assed cowards who bark loud but have the bite of a kitten playing with your hand.

    • Angry_Cop

      I was born right when Nixon came into office on a promise to end the Vietnam war, which he promptly escalated.

      I’ve never seen, in my lifetime, this nation behave as a “decent group of people”. They’ve been pants-shitting cowards from day one in my life. That could change, I guess, but I have no life experience that would suggest that could happen.

  • nightmoth

    Solid South still solid—no surprise. Georgia Governor Deal, I do NOT feel safer now.
    In fact, I have more to fear from you and your back room deal-making cronies than I do from Syrian refugees.

  • SK

    47 fucking Democrats voted for this.

    • data_ninja

      One of them being Marcy Kaptur (OH). She’s got some ‘splainin’ to do.

    • cmd

      One of them being my rep Patrick Murphy (FL).

  • superdave

    As a Marylander, I am disappoint.

    • LaylaOhGee

      Me, too. Damn Governor What’s-his-face.

      • Vecciojohn

        I hear Mayor McCheese has banned the sale of the quarter pounder with humus.

  • cousin itt

    A Syrian møøse bit my sister ønce.

    • Vecciojohn

      Syrian bites can be pretty nasti.

  • Callyson

    Two Republicans — Reps. Walter Jones of North Carolina and Steve King of Iowa — joined 135 Democrats in voting against the bill.

    I am legitimately shocked.

    Unless, of course, they did so because they wanted something even stronger…

    • Villago Delenda Est

      In King’s case, that is almost certainly the reason.

    • Gleem-McShinez

      I am guessing it’s because he doesn’t even want a path, no matter how rigorous or time consuming, for even legitimate vetting to allow them in.

      Because Can’t Trust Obama™ brand FearMongering is the best fearmongering, and choosy wingnuts choose it!

  • I don’t think anyone is surprised that Congress is no longer satisfied just ruining American lives.

  • chascates

    Spreading fear and hatred is the Republican way now. Pflugerville is just a few miles north of Austin and some patriots smeared their feces on the wall of a mosque there and stuck torn pages of the Koran into it.
    Huckabee would be proud.

    • marxalot

      EEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!
      I cannot think of anyone I hate so much that I’d feel compelled to express myself by handling feces. But then, I’m a garden-variety crazy, not a Full Bore Bull Moose crazy.

    • Vecciojohn

      Vitter’s handprints are all over this. Literally.

    • cmd

      Did you read about the little kid (7, I think) who took $20 from his piggy bank and took it to that mosque as a donation?
      Oh, here is the link. http://www.mysanantonio.com/news/local/article/Texas-boy-empties-piggy-bank-to-help-Pflugerville-6643675.php

      • chascates

        I did hear that on KUT.

      • PubOption

        And the kid’s named Swanson. Obviously not from the branch of the family that produced Tucker Carlson.

  • Randy Riddle

    I can’t think of a damn snarky thing to say about all of this. It’s sickening.

    • Vecciojohn

      Are you trying to do this sober? Well, there’s your mistake.

      • nmmagyar

        I’m on enough opiates/anti-seizure medications to bring down a bull elephant and I’m still disgusted. Stoned as fuck, but disgusted.

  • dslindc

    I actually feel less safe with having most of the Congresscritters here in the DC area. Maybe we could replace them with refugees?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      What, and cause the House to explode because the collective IQ has shot to the moon?

    • Msmlg1979

      In my rage filled email to my governor earlier this week, I asked him who was going to protect me from people like him. He hasn’t written back.

  • marxalot

    What’s the acronym stand for?
    Syrian Act of Federal Exclusion?
    Staying Afraid Forever Endeavor?
    Scared About Foreign Elementary-schoolers?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I go with option three. But the other two are certainly appropriate.

    • MrBlobfish

      SYRIANS ARE FUCKING EVERYWHERE!!!!!

    • Ryan Denniston

      Suck a fat eclaire?

    • Callyson

      Stoke Another Fearful Electorate?

      • nmmagyar

        Stroke Another Fearful Erection?

        • If I had a dime…

          • nmmagyar

            This is why I love you and want to get together for coffee and pastries

    • Gleem-McShinez

      Sanity Are For Elitists

      (Y’all criticizin’ our grammar? ISIS GONNA GIT YOU FIRST)

    • data_ninja

      Somehow Always Feeling Exceptional?

    • Msmlg1979

      Sorry-ass fucking eunuchs?

    • Sam Hain

      Stupid Assholes Fearing Egalitarianism.

  • Professor Fate

    would it possible to send frozen chicken dinners to each rep who voted for this? One assumes they wouldn’t get it, but it would be amusing anyway – one needs some amusing moments when we are watching people lose their minds with fear on purpose.

  • Vecciojohn

    If we help their victims, the terrorists will have won.

  • We need to mail a white flag to each and every congressperson who voted for this.

    Ok then, I’ll do it myself.

  • Joe Beese
    • MrBlobfish

      Probably my favorite SCTV bit.

  • Rick Hill

    I’m a congressman and I’m ok,
    I piss my pants, I wear high heels
    Suspenders and a bra
    I wish I’d been a girlie
    Just like my dear papar

    Everybody, now!

    • Vecciojohn

      Oh, and I thought you were so rugged! Sob.

  • Ryan Denniston

    In fairness, this really is Obama’s fault, because he supported the refugees. Had he been the one to state that no more refugees would be allowed, a befuddled Congress would have tripled America’s intake, because surely if Obummer is against something, they should be for it!

    • crisptickle

      Well, a lot of it IS Obama’s fault, but not in that way. sadface.

  • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

    Crazy xenophobe Steve King (IA) voted against the bill?

    • Gleem-McShinez

      Probably a “principled stand” against allowing them in, ever.

    • Ryan Denniston

      I guess he’s holding out for forced labor camps?

    • Vecciojohn

      He wanted an exception for legitimately raped Christian Syrians. You know, not these con artists sneaking in for our free pay teevee.

  • MrBlobfish

    I’m sure gun sales are through the roof.

    • Vecciojohn

      Doesn’t matter. Obama’s gonna impound every round of ammo in the country any day now. They all ready done it up in Canada.

  • btwbfdimho

    Tofurkishs move to the back of the bus.

    • Joe Beese

      At least not until Chief Kasich’s outreach program inculcates Wampanoag values in them.

      • Sam Hain

        You get an upvote just for using the word, inculcates, Bravo!

  • Angry_Cop

    The bill was passed mostly by Big Strong Republican Daddies, with the help of 47 mom jeans-wearing Democrats. Hooray for bipartisanship!

    If they’re Red State Dems I’ll give ’em a pass; rather have a majority than purity.

    But I don’t think there’s that many in Congress anymore, and the ones who are safe blues and voting for this shit act anyway are morally bankrupt monsters. Primary at will.

    • Vecciojohn

      Maybe it’s just that some of them are just as stupid as their GOP opposite numbers.

      • Angry_Cop

        Of this I have no doubt. My entire local Democratic party could be outsmarted by a single golden retriever.

        • Iam Reading

          At least you have some dems, shitty sounding ones, but a start

    • Iam Reading

      So, it’s wing nut appeasement to retain power. Not. A. Fan.

      • Angry_Cop

        The alternative is unacceptable. That’s a deliberate choice of words. Unacceptable. I don’t like it any more than you do, but I know what will happen to this country if the GOP gets their filthy paws back on the levers of power and I’m not willing to have that happen. So if 47 Dems have to wave their skidmarked underwear for us to keep the Supreme Court from voting us back to the 18th century, so be it.

        • Iam Reading

          I accept yoyoyour logic but it is a bitter pill

  • m3bosha

    So much for “American Exceptionalism”. When you are scared of old people and children from a country thousands and thousands of miles away, you have lost the right to spout that BS.

    On a happy note, at least Colorado’s gov has come out to say the state has no legal authority to keep anyone with permission from the feds to be here to be here so please and thank you shut it you dumb wingnuts.

  • DahBoner

    Logic…

    1. Terrorists killed people in Paris using GUNS.

    2. Therefore we must ban Terrorists.

    Makes sense to me.

    https://media2.giphy.com/media/u5MFEwJFFKwOA/200w_d.gif

    • willi0000000

      2. Therefore we must ban refugees running from Terrorists.

      [ shouldn’t have had to fix that for you! ]

  • btwbfdimho

    We need more federal funds for FEMA (Find Every Muslim Around).

  • AnOuthouse

    Boo!

    ha,ha just kidding.

  • bozilingus

    Can a state stop a family from sponsoring a refugee family? If someone wanted to open their home to these people, could the Feds make sure that they could be re-located?

  • Marklov

    The Repubs have a point, they sure know their history: next week we celebrate and give thanks for a bounty of harvest supplied mainly by native Americans who welcomed refugees fleeing war and oppression in a distant homeland. Look what happened to the welcome committee.
    Are they really concerned about terrorists posing as refugees? Of course they are, they know the power of the pose as most of them go around posing as Christian. Hell is too good for them.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      You know, you actually managed to make how bad I feel about this even worse. I had forgotten next week is Thanksgiving. That makes it worse. I wish there was a Middle Eastern restaurant in town, I’d go there instead and skip the now-meaningless turkey.

  • LarryHoudini

    I just wrote my dumbass Democratic Representative and told him to blow me. Now his office will probably spam me for donations.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      You should use a dummy email address when you do that kind of thing. That’s what I do. It’s a real address, but I check it like twice a year. All the spam goes there.

      • John Smith

        I have more spam traps left around than ex-lovers. Not sure what that says about me.

  • cousin itt

    This just in…Breaking Wind on the campaign trail. Guess who said this about that: “”If there’s a rabid dog running around in your neighborhood, you’re probably not going to assume something good about that dog, and you’re probably going to put your children out of the way,” he said during remarks in Mobile, Alabama. “[It] doesn’t mean that you hate all dogs, by any stretch of the imagination, but you’re putting your intellect into motion and you’re thinking ‘How do I protect my children? At the same time, I love dogs and I’m gonna call the humane society and hopefully they can come take this dog away and create a safe environment once again.'”

    • Sheepshagger

      Gore Vidal?

      • Vecciojohn

        JFK?
        FDR?
        Churchill?
        Adlai Stevenson?
        Judge Learned Hand?
        Oscar Levant?
        Lynette Alice “Squeaky” Fromme?

        • r m reddicks

          I’m pretty sure it was Oscar. I thought I heard him say that on the Jack Parr show last night, too.

          • Vecciojohn

            Have you read the latest Arthur Miller play?

          • r m reddicks

            Death of a Fuller Brush Man. It was damn good.

          • Vecciojohn

            The quintessential American tragedy.

          • r m reddicks

            Perhaps had something to do with Red Skelton. But there ya be.

          • r m reddicks

            Rumor has it that JD and MM are getting back together. AM is somewhat pissed they say.

    • AnOuthouse

      “hopefully they can come ”
      I’m guessing Lazy Ben because whoever it is expects someone else to solve the problem. oh, okay, it could have been any of them.

    • data_ninja

      Ah, good ol’ dehumanization! Where have you been? (barely hiding in the light)

      This ain’t even a dog whistle, it’s straight up talkin’ to the dog!

      • Vecciojohn

        Here girl! Fetch! Fetch! Who’s a good girl? Who’s a good Roublican girl? Who hates libtards? Who? You! Yes yes yes. Dawgie-woggie!!

        • Sheepshagger

          Hey it’s little Sammy Berkowitz! Where you been Sammy.

          • Vecciojohn

            Uh, thanks, I guess. I’m just hoping you didn’t mean David.

          • HanBarbara

            I think he’s mixing up David with son of Sam

      • nmmagyar

        You know who else dehuman…. oh, fuck it. We all know they think the only solution is to round up and gas all Muslims

        • Sheepshagger

          Oh I think they like nukes now. The same people who think WMDs justified Iraq.

      • HanBarbara

        The rabid dog is more intelligent than whoever gave that speech.

        • lroom

          Ben Carson!

    • cmd

      The clue to the puzzle is “you’re putting your intellect into motion.”

    • Vecciojohn

      If you
      Water
      a rabid dog
      Willitgrow

      . In springtime?

      e.e. cummings

    • Zippy

      Benny the Blade

    • HanBarbara

      I don’t understand how it would be possible for these people to be any more stupid.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Just wait. Next they’ll propose Internment Camps, like we did to the Japanese during WWII. Don’t laugh, it’s not impossible.

        • nmmagyar

          It’s already been proposed – I don’t remember which Fox-head said it.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Tell me you’re kidding. Alas, you aren’t!

    • Vienna Woods

      Atticus Finch?

  • AnOuthouse

    Since we already have a good system in place, couldn’t they just say ‘ok, thanks, will do. no problem’?

  • Thurman Munster IV

    Shouldn’t these assholes go on their 2 month long winter recess and stop doing these God awful attempts of trying to legislate?

  • Lizzietish81

    For those of you keeping score: White man guns down dozens of school children, nothing happens. Muslims kill people in Paris, let’s shit our pants and give them what they want. See, it IS consistent, Congress is made up of terrorism appeasers.

    • clubseal

      I didn’t see many Faceplace posts about how we need to screen more white people before they can, say, buy a gun after whichever of the billion white male shooting sprees you might be describing.

      It’s almost like people get more scared the more foreign someone looks.

      • laineypc

        The ways we perceive risk are definitely not terribly logical. I got prenatal care from a doctor recommended to me by a coworker. I had to drive the Jamaicaway in Boston, from Cambridge, to get to this doctor. The chances of something bad happening to me or my baby on that drive were much higher than if I’d just stayed home and ate ice cream. But I kept going. What a moran!

        • willi0000000

          not stupid at all . . . i used to commute the Jamaicaway on my bike until some asshole pulled right out in front of me and wrecked my bike . . . on State Street, downtown!

          [ so get the pre-natal . . . you’re just as likely to get hit by a bus in Harvard Square ]

          • laineypc

            Downtown is the worst. Bike commuted to my job at MassHealth downtown and lived to tell…they aren’t as Masshole-ish to girls in my experience. Are you a dude? Sorry about your bike.

          • willi0000000

            shortened a nice 10-speed Motobecane by about a foot and a half . . . s’OK though got an aluminum framed Raleigh 12-speed to replace it . . . put the best of the moving parts from both on it and it ran pretty good.

            [ last time i checked the plumbing i was a guy . . . so probably still ]

          • laineypc

            Oooh bike modding so sexxxy!

        • Lizzietish81

          Ahhhhh the JWay, I once had to speed down there in a shitty pick up truck that was prone to fishtailing.

          Good times.

      • Jukesgrrl

        No “almost” about it. My estimate would be any insane thing a white person does is 75-95% less scary than if someone of color did it.

    • diogenez

      Cheese-eating surrender monkeys….?

      • Tansy Geek

        Orange cheddar only, please. None of the runny stuff with actual flavor.

        • TxSpinyLizrd

          Only Velveeta allowed.

      • Ricky Gay

        Here in the states it is “Dung-eating Surrender Beetles”

      • diogenez

        That IS the preferred term for cowards, isn’t it?

    • Angela Ruzzo

      I told myself that what you say isn’t true, but today I changed my mind.

    • JustPixelz

      When 30+ Republicant governors said “keeping people safe is the most important thing”, I expected them to then say “that’s why I’m suspending all gun sales until we have a foolproof vetting process”. … Just kidding: I didn’t really expect them to say that.

  • SubLimation7

    This article lmao.
    I’m so happy to hear that they passed this bill.
    Let’s see… 10,000 Syrian refugees. 15-25% of muslims are radicals, using that same logic 1500-2500 of the refugees are radicals.
    One Syrian refugee disappeared from baton rouge after he was settled in, they found him a few days later in Washington.
    Obama to governors, how can you turn away woman and orphans?
    But wait, over 80% of refugees are makes in their prime.
    Obama wrote in his book (rough quote: “in times of political turmoil I will stand by the muslims.”)
    Speaking of existing Syrian refugees; over 90% are on welfare.
    But yes I don’t know what they were thinking passing that bill, its just so idiotic!
    I swear, people can be so insanely stupid.
    Did I mention terrorism related deaths are up 9x since 2000 up year over year? Or how about the fact that the most destructive terror group pledged allegiance to ISIS early this year?

    • Angry_Cop

      cleanup aisle five

    • Sheepshagger

      I’m so frightened/ And I just can’t hide it
      I know I know I know I know I’ll piss my pants.

    • Angry_Cop

      wear a hazmat suit cause this one’s dripping in derp

    • Sgt. Gym Bunny

      Is “rough quote” French for “I’m totally making this part up or just taking it out of context”? Asking for a friend.

    • Rick Hill

      You can only comment on Wonkette if you pee your pants half as much as Baby Wonkette.

      • Wombat

        Assuming comments were allowed. Which they are not.

    • cousin itt

      “most destructive terror group pledged allegiance to ISIS early this year?”

      Harum Scarum? No wait, the New England Patriots?

      • Tansy Geek

        The kids at the Keene, New Hampshire Pumpkin Fest.

      • Notreelyhelping

        Procul Harem.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Coward. Daesh supporter.

    • Gabriella Felix

      What a load of horseshit. Go hide in a closet with a pot on your head, with your gun in one hand and your teeny, tiny dick in the other till we tell you it’s safe to come out.

      • SubLimation7

        Prove me wrong, I’m far from hiding in a closet, but being ignorant of the truth is pretty stupid no? Glad to see you all want more people to live here that at best will stay on welfare and at worst be the downfall of many Americans, go do some research.

        • Gleem-McShinez

          Being terrified looks good on YOU, though. *eyeroll*

          You know what? I’ll take my chances with your imagined Syrian Refugee terrorists, rather than people who turn the phrase “Home of The Brave” into a lie.

          I will prove you wrong, because California isn’t acting like a scared pigeon because of some loud scary noises out there in the world.

          We’ve also got more on the line, since terrorists tend to strike big famous tourist destination cities rather than hillbilly shitholes, anyway.

          • SubLimation7

            So for stating MOSTLY facts, the couple things I got wrong I admitted to, makes me a scared pigeon? No, I just don’t want the refugees and think people should wake up.

          • Jukesgrrl

            So you are happy to wallow in lies to make yourself feel better?

          • sewollef

            They’re not facts.

            We’ve asked you several times now to cite your sources. And all you’ve provided is a joke website [qpolitical] by a joke writer who, wait for it…. does not cite anything.

          • Wombat

            And Breitbart makes two joke websites.

          • Gleem-McShinez

            “Mostly Facts!” LOL Here, have a sandwich, its mostly not shit!

            No, sweetie, it’s the part about being knee-jerk fearful of the refugees that makes you a scared pigeon.

            You don’t want the refugees because you have an irrational fear of “the other” which is totally being exploited for political gains, just as it has been since the Southern Strategy was born in the sewers of the dirty Nixon administration.

            Not that I give two rancid farts for religion, but even Jesus himself tried to tell you folks how to treat those from away who could use a hand.

            Don’t be scared, Fluffy-Nutty, the real bad people who want to harm you are inside your teevee, and are only exploiting your fears so they can win elections. They did it with “Ebola,” they’ll do it again with “Refugees.”

          • SubLimation7

            Oh I’m aware that almost anything regarding politics or the media is corrupt bullshit. But that doesn’t mean I want Syrian immigrants when at least one of Paris attackers was confirmed to be. But thanks sweetie you are just such a doll. A true southern bell? I also think religion is silly. (Raised as a Christian). Here have a sandwich, its mostly not terrorists!

          • Gleem-McShinez

            But that doesn’t mean I want Syrian immigrants when at least one of Paris attackers was confirmed to be.

            Are you sure about your facts? Could you please maybe “research” the story about that passport?

            If you’re wrong, I’d like you to stop eating shit sandwiches. They’re going to make you sick.
            Really.

          • Tansy Geek

            Can we take the poor people from Guatemala instead then? Or are they all drug lords and papists?

          • SubLimation7

            Better than terrorists.

          • Tansy Geek

            Or people running from terrorists? Like Iraqis? Maybe a nice Lebanese family? They make awesome food. Would it be OK if they were Christian? I mean I know Christians are persecuted right and left in America, but it will actually get you killed in parts of the Middle East, like say Syria? They would probably welcome they opportunity to. E oppressed by the war on Christmas.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          Go visit a Refugee Resettlement office. Any Catholic Charities office will do Talk to them. These people DO NOT STAY ON WELFARE. 90% of them are self supporting within a year.

        • Tansy Geek

          Why do you hate the Irish? Oops, wrong century, same idea.

    • Spotts1701

      You do realize that it would be way, way easier for a bad guy to buy a plane ticket and come over on a visa than it would to go through the refugee system?
      Of course not, because that makes sense…

      • cousin itt

        Carson also said Thursday that ISIS poses a “much greater” threat to the United States than al Qaeda did before 2001 because the September 11 attacks “really didn’t require a great deal of sophistication.”

        “You had to be able to fly some planes and get a couple of people in here. That’s going to be a lot more difficult now,” he said.

        • Gleem-McShinez

          Did he read that straight off his phone this time, or did he manage to memorize it?

          • lroom

            Someone may be from here once said he had notes inside his eyelids. Totally agree.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          To be fair, it required that in that 2001 Golden Age, the duly-unelected President would ignore multiple direct warnings.

    • Iam Reading

      Pee your pants MOAR

    • Hmmm, you know, making up a ton of bullshit math numbers doesn’t make you sound any smarter. Sixty percent of heterosexual white males have had sexual fantasies about Aaron Rodgers, and 30 percent of those would definitely act on them. See, I can make up random numbers too!

      • Sheepshagger

        Well you know…if everyone else is doing it…

      • clubseal

        15-25 percent are radicals sure sounds like a bullshit number. But what do I know, I have a brain.

        • Yea, I’m guessing the numbers I made up are more accurate than his. If 15-25 percent of ALL MUSLIMS! were “radicals”, we’d have something like 250 million terrorists out there. And I’d think that many terrorists would be able to accomplish more carnage than we’ve seen so far. If they actually existed.

          • SubLimation7

            Never did I say that 15-25% of them were terrorists, I said they were radicals. Which is the equivalent of a “Bible-Thumping Christian”. I’m still so confused at the negative responses I’m getting. Go click on some of those links, and then to deeper research to verify further, the couple things I did get wrong I admitted to.

          • clubseal

            I know it’s all the way up about two inches, but we didn’t say you said that many were terrorists either. We did say you’re full of crap though, which is accurate.

          • sewollef

            I followed your link to ‘qpolitical’. There is NO citation to the claim they made, and I quote:

            That doesn’t sound too menacing, now does it? Well wait for it… Those 20% manage to make up around 270 million people of the world. That’s 270 people who have killed in the name of Allah.

            And let’s be clear here, you’re quoting a story that has not one citation from Ronak Kallianpura, a pseudo-journalist kid of barely 24 y.o., who writes stories such as this:

            Obama Just Announced His Support Of Cop Killers, Every American Needs To See This!

            “The Army Just Released A Weapon So Deadly That No Terrorist Has A Chance Of Escape

            “Obama Just Declared That America Was Founded On Islam, And It Gets Worse

            I could go on with his ‘stories’, but seriously dude…. your cited link is a pathetic joke. As is the ‘website’.

          • Mehmeisterjr

            It is a site, therefore a citation. Quod erat teabagdemontratum.

          • Tansy Geek

            If they are only the equivalent of evangelicals, why are you concerned about them? We have a metric fuckton of fundies running about but only a small fraction of them are anything worse than annoying. Unfortunately, most of that minority appears to be in Congress.

          • clubseal

            On the plus side, sublimation is one of my favorite physical phenomena. A solid turning directly into a gas? Color me entranced.

          • SubLimation7

            That was refreshing to read amongst all the hate lol.

      • SubLimation7

        Do anyone of you do any research? Go watch these video, then to prove it to yourself do further research. http://qpolitical.com/someone-said-muslims-bad-woman-delivers-amazing-response/

        • nmmagyar

          JFC, learn English

        • Hardly Ideal

          Just a friendly reminder: the burden of proof usually rests on the one making an argument. “Do the research yourself” is usually the refuge of Apollo truthers…

    • thewitchqueen74

      Source for all your pulled-straight-out-of-your-ass numbers??

      • SubLimation7

        Got em

      • sewollef

        Well, he [assuming it’s a ‘he’] had a link to a CNN piece.

        Which reminds me. CNN, that’s the station that heard about the Syrian passport found at the scene in Paris and ran and ran with it, without checking oh, I dunno, facts!

        They had a fucking ticker with that ‘story’, when any half-wit would ask themselves, “wait, this dude blew himself up and the explosion that shredded his body to dog poop [part of his spine landing on a police car several metres away – true]…. yet somehow his passport survived?”

        How about that? Amazing how paper can survive a massive semtex explosion isn’t it?

    • Gleem-McShinez

      Weird, now you need Big Government to keep you safe?

      Wait, where’s your gun? I mean someone as scareful as you should probably invest in the fantasy that you can be not-scared-for-entire-moments-at-a-time by holding a gun in your hands.

    • Msmlg1979

      Yes, people can be insanely stupid. They can also be insanely cowardly and selfish. You’re all three, and I gotta tell ya, doll, it’s not a good look.

    • DL

      50% of 39% of all people comprise 70% of all 100% of terrorists!!!!!!11

    • Cheesus Crust

      Over 100% of your comments have been pulled directly from your ass.

      • nmmagyar

        Coach always DID say to give 110%

      • Jukesgrrl

        Oh, I thought they were pulled from Sean Hannity’s ass.

    • Logic of Color

      over 90% are on welfare

      What? Refugees running for their lives and living in tent cities don’t have steady jobs?

      • SubLimation7

        Yeah maybe if you assume that number is talking about refugees from the last several months. But no, that number is referring to 2008-2013 refugees that have had plenty of time to get jobs. I’m really curious to see your next comeback.

        • Wombat

          I’m really curious to see a link to a relevant, reliable source that will back up you made up numbers.

          Pro tip: Stormfront is not considered a reliable source.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        OF COURSE THEY’RE ON WELFARE! They arrive with no money and no possessions and no jobs and maybe no English. They are given Section 8 apartments, food stamps, Medicaid, job training, English classes, but not for very long, like one year. They are not given furniture, clothes, toys for the kids, bedding, kitchenware. Local volunteers provide all of that stuff. Local Mosques and Churches help them out. 90% of them are self-supporting by the end of the first year.

    • Hardly Ideal

      Even if just half your numbers are right, what part of “two-year screening process” do you not understand?

      • cmd

        The part that requires reading words that might be more than one syllable.

      • Wombat

        Pretty much everything about that post is wrong to a degree of wrongness that adds new meaning to the word wrong.

      • SubLimation7

        A two-year screening process means very little to me if just 1 or even 2 could “fool” the system.

        • Hardly Ideal

          But we have redundant checks in the form of law enforcement and entities like the FBI and ATFE. That would at least hypothetically catch anyone who slipped through whenever they started plotting an attack.

          It’s rather nihilistic to disavow a system if it fails to work literally once in 10,000 times (0.01%). You may as well write off every food inspector, police agency, parole board, quality assurance department, spell checker…

          • Wombat

            A number problem:

            According to the UN Commission on Refugees, there are about 4 million people in the refugee camps, which is the only place we get “our” refugees. 51% of them are women and 38.5% are children. We give preference to orphans, the elderly, and female led households and we will only take about 10,000 refugees.

            What are the odds that a terrorist would even be CHOSEN as one of the people we screen, let alone make it through the screening to the U.S.?

    • laineypc

      15-25% of muslims want to blow themselves and others Try again.

      • Sheepshagger

        But he’s got a video of someone saying what he likes! That’s all the evidence you need right ?

        • nmmagyar

          YouTube DOESN’T screen all videos for accuracy? Color me shocked!!!!

      • Tansy Geek

        Well, statistically, 10% of them are gay, so maybe glitter bombs?

        • nmmagyar

          We do like the blowies, maybe he just left off the last 2 letters?

          • Tansy Geek

            Maybe he meant blow-up dolls?

    • Logic of Color

      One Syrian refugee disappeared from baton rouge after he was settled in, they found him a few days later in Washington.

      I can’t believe you bought that bullshit. Every Wonkette reader today has already seen this one destroyed

      http://theadvocate.com/sports/lsu/14012129-64/catholic-charities-one-syrian-immigrant

      • Wombat

        Relevant quote for our troll, who we all know won’t bother to click the link.

        “Catholic Charities officials said the man was by himself, and he stayed for only a few days before leaving to meet with family. But before he left, he had to submit paperwork to the federal government about changing his location, which refugees must do even if they are moving within the same city.”

        • SubLimation7

          Oh I clicked the link, but see the thing is I live in Baton Rouge. And the first place I heard the story was from a member of our SWAT team. And later I “confirmed” it online. I guarantee if you were in my shoes you would have thought that was the case to. But I’m glad to hear otherwise.

          • Wombat

            No. I would not have. I live in an area with TONS of refugees and I don’t get into a panic over them. I understand that they can, and sometimes do, move around. They are good people who are working hard and raising their kids and grateful as hell to be here.

            I certainly wouldn’t take the word of either a “SWAT team” member (because police are TOTALLY not known for being, um, biased AT ALL) or one of your ridiculous sources.

          • SubLimation7

            Yeah my point remains, if you were in my shoes you’d think the same thing. Of course I don’t expect you to admit it.

          • willi0000000

            if i was in your shoes i’d cut off my feet!

          • Wombat

            Did you miss the part where I live in an area with lots of refugees? In fact, the one you’re so terrified of? He came to my area. So I guess I am in your shoes except for the part where I am super skeerd on account of how I am not a racist jerk who is terrified of people who are a little different.

    • Your “facts” are not accurate in the least. I just thought you should know that, since you’ll probably regret looking like such an idiot in front of all these nice people.

      • SubLimation7

        I do not feel like an idiot at all, I may have been misled in a few areas but that’s ok shit happens. I wasn’t a fan of the middle-east before Paris attacks so didn’t take much, usually I’m much more skeptical.

    • DustBowlBlues

      I read the bullshit sources for these really realistic sounding “facts” and thought it was a joke post. Like, hahaha, look at the silly shit you can get off Breitbart. But now I hear it’s real? You must be joking, I happen to be the Dowager Wonkerattiness and I have these words for you: Go fuck yourself.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Naw, that’s not good enough. If he fucks himself he might enjoy it.

        • SubLimation7

          I would definitely enjoy it.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Wait until you’re my age. It is the only way TO enjoy it.

      • DemmeFatale

        I was thinking, “eat shit, and die,” but “Go fuck yourself” works too.

    • Notreelyhelping

      All the research in the world won’t make you less of a douche.

      • SubLimation7

        *Hugs*

        • Notreelyhelping

          Hey. Don’t get anything on me.

      • Wombat

        Or less of a racist, per his comment just above.

    • Tansy Geek

      Perhaps you’d care to consider the people who helped our military out in Iraq and Afganistan who are in danger of getting murdered for helping us AND ARE STILL FUCKING STUCK THERE I can only assume because of attitudes like yours.

      • SubLimation7

        Yeah, your right.
        To be clear, your right that people like me do not want them over here.

        • Tansy Geek

          My right? But what about my left?
          Let me clarify this; You do not what to bring the translators and guides and people who helped support our military in Iraq and Afganistan here, after risking their lives to help and risking their lives by staying in their own countries, you do NOT want them to get asylum in the U.S. as soon as possible? Truly? If that’s really how you feel you are beyond dickishness, beyond assholery and deep in the terrority of cretinous inhumanity. A thing to be scraped off of one’s shoe.

        • Wombat

          Racist much?

        • Tansy Geek

          Dok, can you save this one as an example of lack of insight coupled with classic grammar errors. Something I can look at when I feel like I’m being an asshole so I can say, at least I’m not this fool here.

        • Tansy Geek

          Dok, can you save this one as an example of complete lack of insight and classic grammar errors? Something I can look at when I feel like I’m being an asshole, to remind at least I’m not this fool here?

    • SigDeFlyinMonky

      Your logic just dissipated in gaseous form.

    • Tansy Geek

      But “we” we’re just talking about barring Mexicans and Central Americans from coming here because they might commit crimes and speak Spanish in public. Once this dies down, “we’ll” go right back to that same conversation.

    • Wombat

      Re: The stupid 10,000 Syrians in New Orleans thing:

      http://www.snopes.com/refugees-new-orleans/

      Huh. Look there, totally false.

      “Misleaded” is not a word. It is misled. Study harder in English class, dude.

    • Hardly Ideal

      Upvoting your own post? Man, that’s like high-fiving yourself in public.

      • Gleem-McShinez

        I think it’s more like hi-fiving your penis in public.

        “Whose a good troll? I am? Why thank you, me! Here, have a wank! Don’t mind if I do, me!”

  • ChicagoLovesYou

    Maybe adding all of this security theater will cause a few of the idiot governors to be less escared and stop fighting efforts to admit refugees? No, I don’t really believe what I’m saying, but trying to find a silver lining to this stupidity.

  • Drew Baker

    Harry Reid is the SENATE minority leader….btw. On a lighter note….fuck the ammosexual republitards and the 47 spineless Democrats who followed the crowd at chow time.

    • Iam Reading

      Fuck those 47 dems twice because they should know better

      • Angela Ruzzo

        One of them was my Congresswoman. I called her office to find out. I told them exactly what I think of her. Bitch.

      • Wombat

        One of them was my Congressman. Not sure how that’s going to work out for him since this district is very, very blue.

    • Sheepshagger

      Fucking democrats. The one constant is that half the goddamn congressional delegation are spineless wimps who won’t support the prez.

    • Even Democrats like Tim Ryan were on the “Yes” list. Pretty disappointing.

  • Rick Hill

    Why stop there? Let’s go full Madagascar and close ALL the borders.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Better yet, Australia! Because beaches and barbies.

      • Tansy Geek

        Only if everyone gets their own Hemsworth.

        • nmmagyar

          There seem to be enough of them

        • DemmeFatale

          Hear, hear.
          Chris is a dreamboat!

  • SpaceCaptainWarlock

    Duh, it’s called Compassionate Conservatism. Remember that old gem? It means you invade a country because REASONS, radicalize an entire region in the process and then refuse to help all the victims.

    I’m ashamed of NJ too. I’m confident that our organized crime would be able to handle any terrorists among the ranks of Syrian refugees. Christie, you fat ass coward.

    • clubseal

      I don’t think you described Compassionate Conservatism as much as “American foreign policy for the past five or so decades.”

    • Vecciojohn

      I’m no political scientist, but I thought compassionate conversatism was whe you give big tax breaks for making a few apartments available to undesirables who should not be living that near the river. It’s called subsidies, but it’s spelled SOCIALISM. I’d bring back the draft, that’s what I’d do.

      • DustBowlBlues

        It would add a little gravitas to today’s crop of college kid whines.

      • nmmagyar

        Compassionate Conservatism was/is also a mechanism to circumvent that whole Church/State wall and funnel all the monies to church “charities”.

  • Rick Hill

    This week, we are all French! Except for these sniveling, whiney ass cowards…

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Scott Walker is the REAL cheese eating surrender monkey.

      • Rick Hill

        And he plays one on tv, too!

        • Vecciojohn

          They have to use a stunt double when he has to actually talk. Or sign something.

    • clubseal

      I wonder why none of us are …. wait, what were those other people who were also attacked round about the same time? Belgians or something?

      • nmmagyar

        “Je suis Belge” just sounds wrong. And dirty.

        • Vecciojohn

          Mais, my dear old saintly grand-mere was Belge. She came here as a little girl in 1941 and moved to a small village in Ohio where other waffle-suckers were living in the filthy conditions these people always make for themselves. There was a scandal when my grandfather married her, but things got smoothed over.

          So I guess what I’m saying is, you may be a Jew. Hell, I know a lot of Jews. My doctor’s a Jew. But the point is, shiftless Scotch-Irish and their round-healed wives have been the very cannon-fodder cheap labor backbone of this country forever if you don’t count the coloreds, and that’s only 3/5ths, it’s in the Constitution, you can look it up. And don’t let the Little Magician give you any of his moonshine about the canals.

          • Billy Croissant

            Needs just a dash more cowbell, but I tip my hat to you, sir!

          • Vecciojohn

            Orchestration was always my weakness.

        • Tansy Geek

          It sounds like a digestive disorder.

          • nmmagyar

            We really need to work on getting your mind in the gutter. It’s Fun!

      • Unforgotten

        Lebanese?

    • kaydenpat

      Hollande just announced he is going to continue allowing refugees into France so we’re not all French. Sadly,

  • clubseal

    I’d call these guys the p-word, but I actually like those.

    • Vecciojohn

      I like a peanut myself. But I’d call them phucking pecker-nosed pricks who polish their penises with pigs’ pubic hair, the pud-pounding proctologists who pee like girls.

      Then, I’d flip ’em the bird, light up a Camel and blow smoke in their faces.

      • sewollef

        the pud-pounding proctologists who pee like girls

        ….the pud-pounding proctologists who pee like phemales.

        There. FIFY

        • Vecciojohn

          Thank you. Somehow le mot juste always escapes me.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Stop insulting girls. When we pee, we don’t leave a mess on the floor. My male relatives couldn’t hit a toilet bowl if their lives depended on it. What do they do? Close their eyes?

        • Vecciojohn

          Oh really? What is it with you women taking so goddamn long to pee? Just how long does it take to lift your skirt up, pull down yer unmentionables and let ‘er fly?

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Well, we don’t pee, we tinkle. We be ladies. Actually, our bladders are smaller than men’s, and the process is more complex, due to all those extra organs we have down there, like a uterus and ovaries and fallopian tubes. The main reason why it takes us longer in public places is because stalls take up more space than urinals, so women’s public restrooms have lower occupancy and long lines waiting. It would make sense to put in twice the number of women’s restrooms in places like movie theatres and restaurants, but nobody thinks of this.

          • Tansy Geek

            Also, too we we wipe and wash hands afterwards.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I’m very glad to hear it. Your mothers trained you well. But you don’t clean up the floor. I have never in my entire life seen a man clean a toilet bowl or the floor around it. If I had found such a man, I would have married him.

          • Wombat

            I got him first. It’s one of the many things I love about him. *SWOON*

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I had a lovely boyfriend once who sat down to pee. He said he just liked it better. I nearly married him. . .

          • natoslug

            So THAT’S why my wife married me — my mad cleaning skills and ability to lower the toilet seat. Here I thought it was just for my big hands and big feet.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Your wife is a lucky woman. Do you fill and empty the dishwasher too? Be still my heart. . .

          • natoslug

            Only rarely*, but I do mop, vacuum, wash and dry laundry, and cook. But I absolutely loathe sorting and folding laundry. And as the only one in the house who knows how to operate the espresso maker, I am GOD!**

            *I make the boy-child empty the dishwasher, although he claims he can’t figure out how to properly load it. The girl-child claims she doesn’t even know where it is, so how could she possibly help?

            **For about fifteen minutes every morning, until the cappuccinos are have been drunk, after which time I revert back to being the home alone telecommuting gnome. I can still be a gnome at 6’3″, right?

          • Angela Ruzzo

            If you want to call yourself a Gnome, you have every right to do so under the Constitution, regardless of whether you are height-impaired or not. Height is just a label.
            The men I know will carry dirty dishes into the kitchen and pile them in the sink, then walk away. I say “Hey, the dishwasher is 2 inches away!” They always have the same man-excuse: “I don’t know whether it’s clean or empty.” I reply “Open the fucking door and take a look.” Actually I don’t, I say “Here’s a hint – you’ve seen me empty the dishwasher every single morning for 40 years before I make breakfast even, and then announce “Dishwasher is EMPTY.” Puh-lease.

          • natoslug

            I hate a dirty sink . . . I stack the dishes on the counter. Actually, if the dishwasher is empty, I’ll fill it. For some reason, I hate emptying it, though. Maybe because I dislike running around the kitchen trying to remember where the hell the potato pearler is supposed to be stored, and who decided to fill the Tupperware drawer with all of these mismatched lids, then jam it closed so that it takes a miracle to open it again? And don’t get me started on mixing bowls and my blood pressure level when I see that someone has decided once again to mix up the order and put a medium down where a large goes so that the whole stack is totally wonky. Maybe my problem isn’t so much emptying the dishwasher as it is a touch of OCD . . .

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I hate emptying it too. I also hate doing laundry. But you know what gets me through it? I think of my grandmother, who had to boil every drop of hot water because there was only a cold water pump on the back porch, and wash clothes in a tin tub with a scrubbing board and soap that made your hands peel, and if she wanted a chicken for supper she had to kill it, pluck it, gut it, etc. If she wanted bread, she had to bake it herself. She didn’t even have an indoor toilet. Raised 14 children like that, geeze louise.

            And then I think “what the fuck am I complaining about???”
            This works for me.

          • Vienna Woods

            My husband will empty it, but he never puts away the baking dishes. He just leaves them on the island for me. But then, he made the island, and it is beautiful, so I won’t complain.

          • natoslug

            An island in the sun? The baking dishes are cool in our house, as they have a nice spacious drawer, and the baking sheets are perfect, as they are up high enough that I am the only one in the house that can reach them.

          • Vienna Woods

            I now have a drawer for baking dishes in the new island, so I no longer have to get down on my old old knees and get them from a bottom shelf! But I don’t think Mr VW is even aware of which drawer they go in yet, after 3 months.

          • lroom

            You just described my kitchen. Also I have 250 Tupperware lids and only 4 bowls and every time I wash dishes I come out with 1 less spoon.

          • natoslug

            Your spoons aren’t here. Over the past 3 months, we’ve had 7 spoons and 12 forks abducted. We have butter knives in abundance, however. I am going to have to see if I can get pictures of the silverware displayed on the back of milk cartons soon.

            I can’t remember the author, but it’s a good thing I’ve always enjoyed the poem “I eat my peas with honey/I’ve done it all my life/’though people find it funny/it keeps them on the knife” as soon I will be living it.

          • Vienna Woods

            Once again, my husband. he keeps telling me I don’t stack the dishes properly, so I just let him do it.

          • Vienna Woods

            Too late; he’s already married- to me.

          • bozilingus

            We’re bringing the war back home
            Where it ought to have been before!
            We’ll kill all the bees
            And spiders and flies
            And we wont play in iceboxes lying on their sides
            We’ll wash our hands after wee-wee.
            And if we’re a girl, before!
            And we’ll march,march,march, et cetera!
            ‘Til we never do march no more!
            (All together, now, boys!)
            We’re bringing the war back home
            Where it ought to have been before!
            The pretty donut girl on the corner
            Will be smilin’ with a wringer in her hair!
            We’ll wash our hands after wee-wee,
            And if we’re a girl before!
            And we’ll march, march, march, et cetera!
            ‘Till we don’t have to march no more
            (Hum along now…)
            We won’t have to March!
            We won’t have to March!
            We won’t have to March no more!

            Firesign Theatre – We’re Bringing The War Back Home

          • Tansy Geek

            This made me smile.

          • bozilingus

            I’ve spent many years enjoying the many albums of The Firesign Theatre. They fit my odd sense of humor perfectly. This song was from their first album, Waiting For The Electrician Or Someone Like Him. I highly recommend.

          • Vecciojohn

            I’ve learned my lesson.

          • theCryptofishist

            I think of it. All the time. We could have a urinal for men who are not pee-shy, and then individual rooms.
            I’m going to go off and architech my paradise again.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            My father once owned a full-size van that had 2 20-gallon gas tanks. When one tank approached empty, he flipped a switch and it changed to running off the 2nd tank. I’ve often thought people need something along those lines – an overflow or backup bladder.

          • theCryptofishist

            Except for the bladder infections and the pee bag, the catheter was a nice thing. And I didn’t have to change the pee bag!

          • Angela Ruzzo

            My mother had to wear a catheter for a year, back in the days before disposable catheters and pee bags. We had to soak them in chlorine bleach for hours and then in mild detergent every day, for months and months. It gave me a great dislike of catheters.
            I read that female astronauts had to wear catheters when they first went into space. I hope they have figured out a better way by now.

          • theCryptofishist

            1–Yeah, I think by 2007 they had disposable.
            2–Diapers like everyone else, I assume. Or I learned nothing from that astronaut who drove across the country to kill her romantic rival.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Well after I wrote my comment I got curious, so I looked it up. Funnels with suction. http://www.livescience.com/32599-how-do-astronauts-go-to-the-bathroom-in-space-.html

        • nmmagyar

          You should know that once we touch it things can quickly escalate…

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I’ve heard that. It must be a terrible cross to bear. But then again you can walk into the woods and point at a tree. We can’t do that.

          • Vienna Woods

            Hiking is the only time I suffer from penis envy.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Long car trips are my only times of envy. They get out of the car, point, shoot and shake. Then 5 minutes later I say “Please stop at the next exit” and they say “You can wait until we stop to get gas.” And I say “You either stop at the next exit or I’ll pee all over your leather upholstery right now.” They stop.

        • DemmeFatale

          …and we don’t leave the seat up.

          Mr. Fatale’s aunt used to have an embroidered plaque hanging in the bathroom that said: “We aim to please, you aim too, please.”

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I like Mr. Fatale’s Aunt. My sweet Aunt lived with 3 grown sons, she was disabled and had to use one of those plastic toilet seat risers, and “the boys” were too lazy to take it off first and would then pee all over it and leave it like that. Or they’d take it off to poop, and not put it back for her. I wanted to castrate all of them. And they never replaced the toilet roll.

  • Gleem-McShinez

    Finally, now we can get back to being terrified of Ebola!

    • Vecciojohn

      I keep thinking I will wake up and the world will be in a Hobbesian nightmare state because of Y2K.

      • GDleftyPart2

        The planes, they’ll just drop out of the skies!!1!1!!!!!!1111!!!

        • Vecciojohn

          Hoover Dam will explode and the floods will kill hundreds of thousands.

    • kaydenpat

      And protecting our national gun fetish. Refugees bad — Guns good.

  • Hardly Ideal

    If you’ll all excuse me, I’m going to go play a post-apocalyptic RPG or three. Less depressing, and with a greater possibility of a happy ending.

    • Vecciojohn

      I want a new drug. That’s all.

      • sewollef

        Russian River Pinot Noir…. works for me every damn time.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          Gallo White Zinfandel. Not good wine, but cheap.

      • data_ninja

        One that won’t make you sick? One that won’t make you crash your car, or make you feel three feet thick?

        • Vecciojohn

          How did you know?

          • data_ninja

            I heard it on the News.

    • Jim

      The Computer is your friend, Citizen!

      • Hardly Ideal

        My best friend said he was involved in a game of Paranoia where the person playing The Computer did it in the voice of Lemongrab.

        I can only imagine how amazing that was.

    • cmd

      I happened to see that there is a Jade Helm edition of Call of Duty. I know nothing about the games but it showed up in my FB feed because of the group that did the music.

      • Hardly Ideal

        Christ, I kinda keep up with games and I still don’t know what those Call of Duty is about. I only recognize them as “those 8,000 first-person shooters that are maybe inappropriately realistic.”

        • cmd

          The only video game I have ever played is Guitar Hero so I wouldn’t know. I did find it funny that there was one named Jade Helm. Maybe it involves the government coming to get your guns or something.

    • ChicagoLovesYou

      I think “Last of Us” might contain more hope than this Congress.

    • data_ninja

      It makes you wonder what all of those people having a Fall-ing Out For…

  • chicken thief

    Damn, that was fast work. So now they’ll take an extra day off, to recover?

    • Rick Hill

      Day? Month and a half.

    • kaydenpat

      What’s really scary is that this is all based on terrorist attacks overseas. What will Congress pass if we have an attack here? Seems like we’re so quick to pass hasty laws (like the Patriot Act) when we’re gripped by fear.

    • nmmagyar

      I thing we learned after 9/11 that this shit is already written and just looking for an excuse to be executed.

      • data_ninja

        Exactly. This one was being sat on, and they just had to fill in the blank for “undesirable goes here” before shipping it off to press.

  • Spotts1701

    Where’s all that rugged, tough “Come And Take It” attitude that conservatives yammer on about?
    As Joe Friday said, “I’ve bumped into jaywalkers tougher than you.”

    • Gleem-McShinez

      I guess their strategeric swagger reserves were all used up when George W. Bush said “bring it on” to actual foreign enemies. “Now watch this drive!”

  • Gleem-McShinez

    Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety.

    –Ben Franklin, adding “but it doesn’t matter if it’s someone else’s Liberty you’re giving up! STAY SCARED AMERICA!”

  • Angela Ruzzo

    When I read about this, I felt literally sick. I am ashamed to be an American. I am seriously considering emigrating to Canada. It’s official – this is The New McCarthy Era.

    • laineypc

      Hah I just read that people want to flee to Canada if the US takes the refugees. I hope Canada rejects those seeking refuge from refugees. Plus, and too, Canada is taking more Syrian refugees than the US. So….

      • We’re scheduled to take in 25,000 Syrians before the end of the year… (Most people up here agree that that’s kinda quick in this case… I’m not sure how I feel on the subject; just the speed of it, mind you, I’d take a lot more if it were my call…)

        • Angela Ruzzo

          Speed is not a problem. My sister handles refugee resettlement in Dallas, and the round up hundreds of volunteers and get those people settled tout de suite. See, I speak French, I will fit in in Canada. I went to college in Des Moines, I’m used to snow and sub-zero temps.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        So an even better reason to move there. The big problem is they don’t want people over 55, and I’m 60. Can I claim age discrimination?

    • Vecciojohn

      Stay and fight, comrade! This really is the Good War. Against Christmas! Stay and blog it out to the bitter end. This mommy blog kills fascists!

      • Angela Ruzzo

        But I’ve been fighting the Good War for 60 years and things keep getting worse. And I live in Missouri and am surrounded by imbeciles. I can fight from anywhere, now that we have the Internet. How does the Costa Brava sound??? No beaches in Missouri. And no Paella.

        • Vecciojohn

          The Costa Brava sounds perfect right now. How do you feel about the Oregon coast in August and Manhattan in May?

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Oregon Coast is fine (weed!), but Manhattan is not for me. Too many people, too much noise. The Hamptons are very nice, but I’m not a billionaire.
            There’s a lovely stretch of beach between Barcelona and Valencia in Spain – lots of small villages and towns, hardly any tourists. I’d like to go back there. They still like Americans in Spain, and how many countries can you say that about these days?

      • Angela Ruzzo

        You may be right. I just re-read a quote from Mark Twain. It goes:

        “Each of you, for himself, by himself and on his own responsibility, must speak. And it is a solemn and weighty responsibility, and not lightly to be flung aside at the bullying of pulpit, press, government, or the empty catchphrases of politicians. Each must for himself alone decide what is right and what is wrong, and which course is patriotic and which isn’t. You cannot shirk this and be a man. To decide against your convictions is to be an unqualified and inexcusable traitor, both to yourself and to your country, let man label you as they may. If you alone of all the nation shall decide one way, and that way be the right way according to your convictions of the right, you have done your duty by yourself and by your country- hold up your head! You have nothing to be ashamed of.”

        He went on to say:

        “For in a Republic, who is “the country?” Is it the Government which is for the moment in the saddle? Why, the Government is merely a servant- merely a temporary servant; it cannot be its prerogative to determine what is right and what is wrong, and decide who is a patriot and who isn’t. Its function is to obey orders, not originate them.”

        OK, I feel better now.

    • kaydenpat

      If all the good people go to Canada, the U.S. will end up becoming a Christianist Theology. We can’t all flee and let that happen.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        You’re younger than me, so you can stay. I’m 60. The government doesn’t give a damn what I think, they are just waiting for me to die and save them some money.

    • DemmeFatale

      I feel sick and ashamed, too.
      I try to tell myself things like “it’s always darkest before the dawn.”
      (Also, my daughter is a baby lawyer who has already worked on police reform and grand jury reform. So there is hope.)

      • Angela Ruzzo

        These are the moments for which Valium was invented. By tomorrow I will probably be ready to march in the streets with a picket sign, but right now, not.

  • OneDemin EOr

    Update the map, Kaili, you can take Oregon out of the dithering white and put it in the green. And now that we’re discussing it, Colorado’s gone green, too. And Washington’s been green.
    Let the legal weed jokes fly

  • DustBowlBlues

    Someday there will be a movie and several documentaries about this, and everyone will cheer for brave liberals and noble refugees who made it through this byzantine process. Like all the stuff about a boat full of Jews being turned back to Germany or a brave hotelier who saved lives after the world turned its collective backs to genocide, to Norman Rae, and . . .
    The point is that someday the conservatives will be the villainous pols who fought to keep a boatload of Syrian refugees from getting through the blockade. In the movie, a young Syrian man of fighting age saves the life of President of the United States, (even though he’s a hater). But the Syrian refugees have waited for too long on the screenplay to be finished.

    This isn’t a matter of Xian love, just basic human decency.

    • Vecciojohn

      What you said, pilgrim.

    • DemmeFatale

      Well said, Dust Bowl.
      (I always try to think of you as an exception when OK is making an idiot of itself in the news.)

  • btwbfdimho

    BBHMM

    • DemmeFatale

      Just visited the Bartholdy Museum in Colmar, France.
      He had so much love and admiration for the US when he sculpted the Statue of Liberty.
      What a betrayal.
      Shame, shame, shame.

  • Paperless Tiger

    They’re already fascist collaborators, and we haven’t even been invaded yet.

    • ShriekinViolet

      I think they prefer to be called Vichy-Americans.

  • Juan de Fuca

    The welfare states once again refusing to contribute their share of the effort while Hawaii is stepping up? Hawaii already has a serious homeless problem or had the last time I was there about a year ago. People live in tents on the beaches on Oahu. Then again I guess one could say “Even the poor in America live on the beach in Hawaii.”

    Molotov! Mai Tai’s!

    • Markuserektus

      I want their ’66 Chevelle rag top…

  • Someone tell Francis Scott Key that we’ve got an answer to that question he asked. The answer is “no”.

  • Vecciojohn
  • r m reddicks

    Link to votes. Now if we the peoplz could hold a similar vote for members of the house we might be getting ourselfs somewherz.

    https://www.govtrack.us/congress/votes/114-2015/h643

    • nmmagyar

      Lujan Grisham will be getting a love note from me in the morning

    • John Smith

      I sent Evan Jenkins an email. Suffice it to say that the word “sniveling” came up at least once.

  • TheBidenator

    When I read “Congress Votes to Crap its Pants” the first thought that came to my mind was, “but for them it was a Tuesday”

  • TheBidenator

    Well if Congress voted to crap its pants then David Vitter has decided to shit his diaper in solidarity….

  • Rachel Book Harlot

    The whole thing is truly disgusting.

    • mailman27

      You’re not just whistling Dixie. Seriously, you’re not.

  • Dolmance

    And they’ve been crapping all over the country, from one end to the other for as long as I can remember.

    I’m trying to be good here. I’m trying to be an adult. I’m trying to just sit back and nurture my hate.

  • Me not sure

    Congress actually moves on something. PROGRESS!

    • kaydenpat

      And bipartisan too! Nice to know that there are tools in both parties.

      • Me not sure

        Maybe the ( D ) following their names stands for DISAPPOINTING!

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          I thought we all agreed that the D stands for Douchenozzle?

          Oh wait, you said (D) not D. Sorry, Ryan moment there.

          • Me not sure

            Totally understandable.

          • lroom

            I think it still works.

      • DemmeFatale

        And who to work against during the next election.

  • JParkerSD46

    I am perfectly willing to let ISIS have those states shown in red, especially those lower ones. Congratulations House. You’ve given ISIS another tool to use in recruiting more people. Many of you criticized France after 9/11 but you haven’t got the balls (and Christian compassion) France has shown to terrified migrants. So, to you, Happy Thanksgiving. Way to show your American and Christian values. I hope Jeebus kicks you right in the balls before he pushes the down button.

    • Rickateer

      conditions for ISIS to taking Texas: they must also take Louisiana, most of Kansas and probably the majority of Arkansas.

      • DemmeFatale

        …and Oklahoma, also, too.

        (…and hop on over to Florida.)

  • Markuserektus

    Good to be in California…we could buy ISIS and give it to Putin for Xmas :P

  • kaydenpat

    Thank goodness for websites like this (JoeMyGod, LittleGreenFootballs, Balloon-juice, LawyersGunsandMoney) and Youtube channels like David Pakman, The Young Turks and Majority Report. Also call in shows like Stephanie Miller.

    Without these outlets the world wouldn’t know that there are sane, rational, compassionate and tolerant Americans out there. All of us aren’t whimpering bigots who can’t tell the difference between people running for their lives and terrorists.

    Hugs to all of you Progressives/Liberals holding it down in red states. I just hope we don’t see a spate of violence directed at refugees and their American supporters.

    Shame on all Democrats who voted with Republicans for this hateful legislation.

  • Markuserektus

    Meanwhile French President François Hollande—whom Ryan praised for calling Friday’s ISIS attack “an act of war”—has announced that his country will take in additional 30,000 Syrian refugees. “Life must go on,” the French leader declared. Ryan admires Hollande’s toughness; if only he aspired to his common sense and compassion. But the modern GOP is built entirely on fear, and so life here goes on, and the GOP goes on fear-mongering. -The Nation.com

    • kaydenpat

      We need to go back to calling French fries “Freedom fries” in protest!!

      • Markuserektus

        I dunno, since Belgium is home to a lot of these knuckle heads…

      • Unforgotten

        It’s an historical innacuracy.
        American soldiers,during WWI, were introduced to this Belgium dish by Belgium soldiers and, because the Belgium soldiers they had contact with were the French speaker ones, the American soldiers started calling it ‘French Fries’ (not that the FRENCH did mind the mistake)…

      • DemmeFatale

        And don’t forget the strawberries on your Freedom Waffle!

  • Notreelyhelping

    I guess one shouldn’t be surprised coming from a government that sat and dithered while Sarajevo and its people got blasted beyond recognition or Lake Victoria choked with machete-slashed bodies. At least Obama is trying to live up to our ideals (in his half-measure way). But for the rest of these Lady Macbeths, they might as well start scrubbing now: the smell’s already revolting.

  • Gleem-McShinez

    “Why are you so scared, Little Turdy Wingnurt?”

    “BECAUSE THEY TOLD ME TO BE!”

  • cleter

    OBAMA USING PRESIDENTIAL POWERS CLEARLY ENUMERATED IN THE CONSTITUTION IS THE HEIGHT OF TYRANNY!

  • kdl

    I heart you Jerry Brown. To the moon and back. <3, A Person Who Is Never Living Anywhere But California

    • Yr. Gma

      I love my Jerry. First guy I ever voted for. He’s been around awhile, you know.

      • kdl

        Have you ever seen his portrait in the capitol from his first administration? It’s amazing.

      • Markuserektus

        Apparently so…

    • Gleem-McShinez

      Hate to throw some shade on your parade, but a startling enough portion of our Democratic CA House members voted Aye for this bill.

      Not mine, thankfully, but ugh.

      • bobbert

        Garamendi, for fuck’s sake.

  • My wife’s aunt lives in Alaska and goes to a wingnut church. We are increasingly worried about her mental health because she is sucking down all this HUSSEIN OBAMBI IS LETTING IN ALL THE HAWT SYRIAN ASSASSINS TO KILL UP WHITE CHRISTIANS, FOR THE LULZ stuff and now she can’t sleep at night. This demagoguery has real effects on real people’s mental health.

    • kaydenpat

      Can she point to even one incident involving a refugee killing an American on American soil? Or is this just a fantasy based on watching too much Fox Noise?

      • People who believed in some weird stuff beforehand and are having their fear buttons expertly pushed are, sadly, not amenable to logic.

        • BeliTsari

          Wild guess is, somebody started writing algorithms, like the ones used to specify playlists, block commercials, replenish WalMart shelves. Bet ya lots of FOX & Clear Channel cage-rattling Große Lüge poison is now fully automated? Like Google Chrome, etc?

    • proudgrampa

      I am in total agreement. I have a colleague who constantly gets himself so worked up. He needs to stay out of church and, especially, stay off of Fuckin’ Facebook.

    • bupkus23

      As it is, one doesn’t have to belong to a wingnut church to worry about one’s mental health. What’s worth, these douches make me so angry, I worry about my OWN mental health.
      It just keeps getting worse and worse.

  • A shame that there are so many gopers in Congress. Maybe if we had actual Democrats running things, and not goper-Lite, we’d do better in elections?

    http://washingtonnote.com/venting_about_d/
    ~

  • Bill Slider

    I look forward to the day, and I believe that it will come, when many people in the US will beg to be allowed to resettle elsewhere due to disease or nuclear disaster, and the rest of the world responds in unison, fuck you.

    • SubLimation7

      The day that America commits the majority of terrorists acts across the world will make that a OK. We’ll have dug our own grave, I wouldn’t expect other countries to risk us. See what I did there?

      • Celtic_Gnome

        All of the Paris attackers were French and Belgium citizens. None were refugees.

        • SubLimation7

          Probably. For what it’s worth I’m less worried about the refugees then before. But at any rate over half of the states governments and Congress agrees with me.

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            I would not be so proud of that company you keep. Those that agree with you are by and large pulling a political stunt based upon fear to keep their followers in line, at the expense of people who are truly suffering.

            I mean you can be proud of that if you want to be.
            Also, too, according to many people, our lil war with Iraq WAS a major terrorist act. So there is that.

          • DemmeFatale

            PROBABLY?!
            Aren’t you smug about all the fear filled idiots agreeing with you!
            You would condemn these refugees in the face of facts?
            Cite the sources of contrary evidence! (And Fox “News” does not count here.)

            I usually don’t feed trolls, but this country is going to hell.
            FFS.

          • Oginikwe

            Yes, well, 2/3 of the people in the Stanley Milgram study were happy enough to shock their test subjects to death. 2/3 of the people in Solomon Asch’s study “went along to get along,” and only one third was able to keep their own counsel of what was right. And, since you are most likely Christian, when you make two thirds a percentage, you get 66.6%
            Chew on that.

      • Last Hussar

        I think you’ll find that you already do.

      • Zippy

        Jesus, another fucking coward trying to wrap himself in the mantle of “reasonableness”

  • Laffing Crow

    I was just looking into the stats on the State Department site and 24 out of the 31 idiot Governors already have Syrian refugees in their state. Texas has more than any other state except California! Syrians have done NOTHING to us, what the hell is this?

    I work hard not to completely vilify right-wingers because they’re my neighbors and I know a lot of this comes from being uninformed and not because they’re totally evil or anything, but I’m having a hell of a time with this. I can’t justify these actions for any reason in my mind. I mean these are the very same “Christians” that are ignoring the 30,000 gun deaths a year in this country, that they made possible by eviscerating gun laws! That’s an acceptable loss because FreeDumb!

    Since 9/11 we’ve had almost twice as many people killed by domestic right-wing extremists than have been killed by jihadists. I’ve run out of understanding for these Con/Rep viewpoints and I’m an American. Think how the rest of the sane world views this. We’ve gone mad. We live in a criminally insane nation.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      It is funny, you know, we mock the wingers and a few specific ones we may villify being utterly corrupt mofos from hell, but for the most part, most libs recognize them at least as fellow country men.
      The funny part comes in that they very rarely extend to us the same distinction.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Ever since the FCC dropped the Fairness Doctrine the Republicans have been broadcasting propaganda on the radio and cable news, but they don’t really understand how it works. They think it is for persuading their followers. By contrast, the military uses propaganda to cause confusion and disorientation among the enemy, and that is basically what the Republicans have done to their followers. They have reduced them to a quivering mass.

  • Cismontane

    Well, let’s look at it this way: The Bush braintrust and the US Congress authorized the creation, funding and training of the so-called Iraqi Army – and that army literally dropped their weapons and ran away at the first sight of the horror of ISIS. So this whole surrender monkey business is completely consistent with their usual mode of existence. Dig hole in sand. Stick head in it.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Can Illinois have its felonious governors back? At least they were human beings.

    (yes Virginia, in Illinois “felonious governors” is plural)

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      We’re jelly, and working on catching up

    • Wombat

      Give us time. Chances are good we’ll have another one before too long.

      Dang it. Didn’t see Jen had beaten me to the punch(line).

  • Alex Grey

    What ever happened to, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself”?

    • netaloid

      Fear itself won. That and political opportunism.

    • Bammac

      Congress voted to change it to: “The only thing we have to fear is Everything,and it’s Mother”

  • Relativicus

    We are losing our way.

    • onedollarjuana

      All empires fall to greed and fear. We’re no different. The shining city on the hill inevitably gets tarnished.

  • Lady Bug
    • Jen_Baker_VA

      That was excellent and beautifully written. Thank you for posting the link

      • Lady Bug

        You are very welcome. :)

  • TootsStansbury

    This reminds me of The Great Ebola Panic of 2014. I can’t even find a word to express my dismay; I’m sure there’s a German one, they have a word for everything. I really do wonder where this country is headed, it looks to be nowhere that I want to be.

    • H0mer0

      I thought it was the French that had a word for everything.

      • Whollyholeyholy

        Fun fact. The French call a style of rooftop window you can open and peek out of “le vasistdas.”

  • netaloid

    Hate to burst your hope balloon, but from what I’m reading, enough chickenshit Democrats joined their dickless GOP brethren such that the House vote is veto-proof.

    • zerosumgame0005

      hopefully the Senate dems are more testicular them the house pussies

      • eddi

        Don’t count on it. The “this won’t hurt my image if I vote for it” factor is pretty high.

    • bobbert

      2/3 * 435 = 290, so one vote short as of right now.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Transplant jihadis wouldn’t be a problem but for the fact that once they are here the NRA will insanely defend their right to possess any kind of weapons and ammunition they want. Bullets, blood, bear arms uber alles.

  • mrpuma2u

    WTF? I get the teatard rethuglicans but all the democrats? Shameful

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      Fear is a powerful motivating force, and many of these are up for re-election soon enough

    • Apparently there are still 47 “Blue Dog” Democrats in Congress – as though having 240 batshit crazy Republicans isn’t bad enough.

  • Jen_Baker_VA

    With Liberty and Justice for All.
    Except for those people we do not like, which is everyone who is not us.

  • Gorillionaire

    I am really looking forward to the inevitable election year terrorist arrest in Swampfuck, Florida and the never ending dickheaded debate about whether or not the kid with slightly brown skin they picked up may in fact have a tiny bit of Syrian DNA in his evil brain so that some loudmouths on a certain cable TV channel can shout and scream endlessly about how the preznit’s veto made this happen.

    • Biff52

      As if your hypothetical brown-skinned arrestee survived the encounter.

      • Yeah, can’t leave them alive to defend themselves. Just shoot them and claim they were armed with a sidewalk.

  • Walter Wellstone

    Typical pussies. Fuck them.

  • TootsStansbury

    They’re blowing this wad on the primaries. Gods forbid what they’ll come up with in an election year. These fuckers have no low to which they will stoop.

    • freakishlystrong

      They won 2014 by telling us ISIS was coming over the Mexican boarder with thighs like cantaloupes and carrying weaponized Ebola. That’s right, people voted for them. Turn off your Teevees.

  • Enfant Terrible

    People come up to me and ask me, “Enfant, what can *I* do to fight Islamic extremism?” Assuming that these folks are talking about DAESH, I would say that the best way to fight them is to do the opposite of what
    they want us to do.
    What DAESH is doing is building political power by conquering territory and recruiting people by claiming to be building an Islamic paradise (they’re lying). Their religious doctrine is pieced together from passages of the Quran taken out of context and from made-up stuff that virtually all religious scholars regard as bunk. They regard the West as immoral and degenerate, and they exploit our violence and hypocrisies to attract disaffected young people from around the world. Sadly, it works.
    Therefore, DAESH wants us to
    mistreat our Muslim neighbors, so that they look better in comparison.
    So what do we do? Answer: don’t mistreat our Muslim neighbors.
    Don’t yell obscenities at women wearing hajibs. (I mean, really – do you kiss your mother with that mouth?)
    Don’t deface or vandalize Muslim places of worship
    Instead:
    Offer to wash your Muslim neighbor’s car.
    Share platefuls of cookies with Muslim families in your neighborhood.
    I’m sure you can think of other kindnesses you can extend. When we
    flood our Muslim friends and neighbors with kindness, we invalidate
    DAESH’s claims of Western immorality and deprive them of plentiful
    supplies of new recruits. DAESH wants us to mistreat our Muslim
    neighbors. Let’s do the opposite.

    • Ricky Gay

      that is a lot of words – won’t fit on Ford 150 bumper. But ALL true!

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        Ford, what are you, a yank? We’ins all gots Chevy round these here parts

        • Biff52

          Mighty Dodge Heavy Duty 2500 ftw!

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            My big assed mercury V8 smoked my hubby’s company dodge hemi. Like whoa.
            *smug about that*

            yes yes, I know, I should not have such a gas guzzlin dinosaur but demmit, my obamalimo has not come in yet

          • Biff52

            I gave Shy a ride in my beast. No, not the Mighty Dodge, the other one. Also not very eco-friendly, but quite satisfying when you stomp on the go-pedal.

        • Enfant Terrible

          Madison Bumgartner drives an F150, so bugger off!

    • Sam Hain

      The wisdom of the Enfant never ceases to amaze!

    • toomanyrappers

      Actually, Jesus had some good advice for getting along with other people. Too bad Christians are so fucking stupid.

      I’m not a Christian because I agree with Jesus about too many things.

  • Major_Major_Major

    Knee jerk pants filling, jaysus. Doesn’t it get old? Who the fuck wants to live like that? Thank you to all the states so that all these chicken little, fire brand, reactionary blowhards control the house, and shame on the left for not motivating the base to show up for midterms. Rant over, beerz up.

  • Ricky Gay

    I have named my bowel movements DAESH from now on. (BRB, gotta take a DAESH) Because fuck those guys and also too, I do it in the toilet and not in my pants. Just like the Nuge.

    • Enfant Terrible

      “The Devil, the proud spirit, cannot endure to be mocked.”
      — St. Thomas More

  • JohnnyZhivago2

    NJ is RECONSIDERING!!!! Christie found out that a Syrian owns the concession stands at Giant Stadium.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    It must be great to be Daesh and know you have so many useful idiots in the US working to achieve your objectives.

    • Zippy

      The sad part is that it probably came as a complete surprise to them. I’m sure their goal was simply to frighten European countries, I doubt that in their wildest dreams they thought that America would completely lose their minds this way.

      • Lady Bug

        Two birds and one stone and all that shit.

      • Ricky Gay

        “These fearsome Americans are really quite pussies, no? Allahu Akbar!”

        • Zippy

          It’s like spotting the school bully all the way across the playground beating some kid up, and unprompted, dropping everything and racing across the school yard to hand him your lunch money. I can only imagine the look of surprise on the bully’s face “umm, OK, why thank you!”

          • Ricky Gay

            and then he says “HA ha!”

        • eddi

          Makes me wonder if they are seeing a soft target softening itself up.

    • Enfant Terrible

      Bingo.

  • Poly_Ester

    ISIS announces DC is a target. Congress adjourns and flees town but not before cutting funds for counter-terrorism because its fiscally irresponsible to defend DC. GOP leadership announces it will “get to the bottom of this if and when we return” and announces that Topeka is their provisional capital.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Then Daesh attacks Topeka with amazing success because that fucktard Brownback has contracted out security to Koch Industries rent-a-cops.

      • Poly_Ester

        And Kansas is a little behind on their payments, too!

  • Bitter Scribe

    If a drowned Syrian 3-year-old washed up on Miami Beach, these guys would probably just float him back out with the tide. After all, you never know–he could be a commando midget playing dead.

    • H0mer0

      unless he was a Cuban Syrian

      • Rotisserie Teal

        Which is a thousand times better than a ‘Canadian Cuban’ who should eat bushel of salted rat dicks.

    • JustPixelz

      If a Cuban 3-year-old refugee washed up on Miami Beach, they’d throw him a parade.

      WAIT! That actually happened: Elian Gonzales in 2000

  • proudgrampa

    I regret that I am unable to share a comment (which is not allowed), as it would be removed by the Ban Hammer of Loving Correction. Selah.

    • Ricky Gay

      tis ok. we know what you mean. (with votes!)

  • Suse

    I’m ashamed of my country today.

    • clubseal

      Just today? I’ve perpetually felt that way since about September 12, 2001.

  • Do you think Syria would take 289 members of Congress off our hands if we take in 30, 000 refugees? Hm. Maybe 1,000 for Sarah Palin?

    • Unforgotten

      THEY do their homework, so they’d know who she is…
      So…
      NO!!!!!!! A Thousand NO’s you infidel!!!!

      (Apologize for the ‘infidel’ bit, those F****S tend to believe they’re Muslims)

      • But she’s a religious fundamentalist too! She even has her own holy book!

  • D Ash

    Somebody, stop this planet– I want OFF! Perhaps a different universe would be a good idea, one where Reality was not the thing we not only ignore, but actively deny exists. I don’t know . . . Discworld sounds like a great place to live. Anyone with me?

    • Ricky Gay

      Westworld. I would take my chances with Mecha-Yul Brynner!

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      I like Turtles just fine

    • clubseal

      If we stopped it fast enough, most of us would be off it incredibly quickly.

      Of course, I know what you mean. I’d like a one way ticket to some distant galaxy with intelligent life.

    • John Smith

      Great A’Tuin awaits.

  • Respiteini

    47 Lesser Evils got pretty damn evil on our asses today. Well done, Democrats. Well done.

  • DemmeFatale

    This is all so hard to take.
    Too bad there’s an idiot troll in here, (spouting Breitbart!), making it even harder to deal with.

  • nosuchuser

    How far we have fallen. We were once known as the land of the free
    and the home of the brave, and now our public discourse is dominated by
    pants shitting morons who couldn’t find Syria on a map. Or even draw an
    accurate map of our country….

    We have seen ‘official’
    representatives of one of our major political parties openly calling for
    slamming the door in the faces of people running for their lives,
    putting them in concentrations camps, and requiring Muslims to carry, or
    possibly openly display, special documentation identifying their
    religion.

    While I am well aware that this is the standard behavior
    of the republican base and those that pander to or grift from. That
    said, this is getting close to the song we heard in the 30’s. In the
    darkest days of the great depression FDR said ‘there is nothing to fear
    but fear itself’, and we have a major political party who only survive
    by selling fear. Who will save the world (with all due respect to our
    hard pressed allies) save the world this time if we’re one of the bad
    guys?

    On a lighter note:
    How do you know you’re talking to a ‘conservative’? You can smell the load in their diaper.

  • Mr Sincere

    So once again we go after the wrong “enemy”. How do we respond to 9/11? by invading Iraq, which had nothing to do with it. How do we respond to ISIS terrorism in France? By going after refugees fleeing Syria, who had nothing to do with it.

    Nice going.

    Do we really think that ISIS has no better way to infiltrate our shores than to apply for refugee status to the US, be thoroughly vetted, and wait 2 years off-shore (i.e. the current system)? They’re not as stupid as we appear to be.

    Even aside from the overwhelming moral case against this legislation, from a purely pragmatic, even military point of view, we are playing right into the real enemy’s hand. We are doing exactly what they want us to do.

    • Bammac

      (Applause) Yep.

    • johnnymorrissey

      There will be disaffected young people (mainly young men) within communities, already. They need not be the ‘typical’ profile of un- or under-employed, discriminated against or disaffected—the numbers of attacks carried out by those who do not fit this profile are alarming. A theory is developing that the main characteristic is a search for identity.

      It takes apparently little training to raise a team of martyrs: it is frighteningly easy. “Who wants to be a martyr?” Then it is a case of equipment, target and opposable thumbs.

      And you are correct that a trained team for more complex attacks will not waste their time travelling with the refugees through Greece and the Balkans. The southern coast of the European Mediterranean is notoriously porous, and Libya is the perfect point of departure—the country is lawless. From there, enter Southern Europe, fly to (for example) the Republic of Ireland, then to Canada…

  • Sterculius

    Chickenhawks are only brave enough to send our sons and daughters over there. A mean Syrian toddler over here makes them pee in their NRA underoos.

  • Whollyholeyholy

    Did anyone else see that video of the dad telling his little boy that bad guys are everywhere and the flowers protect against guns and think, “Look at people smart enough not to turn out like common American paranoiacs!”?

    • Politics_Nerd

      #thefrench

  • Biff52

    ..

    • Ricky Gay

      goddammit to hell. you actually did it. you drowned liberty… in an ocean of piss.

      • Biff52

        We might as well just give it back, it’s of no further use to us.

        • eddi

          The French are doing a better job of welcoming newcomers from Hell on Earth looking for a place to grow up and grow old with dignity.

  • Jen_Baker_VA

    Fucking Ben Carson compared the Syrian Refugees to rabid dogs.

    I have no more snark left in me tonight I think.

    • Roni Raven

      Yeah and I come to this thread late so I’m sure Trump’s idea that Muslims have to be registered has already been discussed.

      And these two are leading the Repub pack.

      The phrase that keeps coming to my mind is from T. Jefferson: “”I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just.”

      And I’m an atheist. So I substitute God with karma and tremble just as badly.

      No snark left, just despair.

      • Bammac

        Save some derision. That is what these gutless yellow big talking little bed-wetters have coming to them.

    • PROJECTION!

  • tex7

    I have a great idea that will reassure the Repugs that it’s okay to let Syrian refugees into the US. Why don’t we require that they sew a star on their clothing, up front on the shoulder, so regular Amuricuns can stay away from them before they blow us up. Make the star gold, it’s a bright color. At the mall and a Syrian refugee walks by with a stroller full of kids? Those gold stars will tell you to duck and cover, before three year old Abdul yanks his suicide belt.

    • Rotisserie Teal

      Maybe too on the nose. Make a Green Crescent. That should do.

    • freakishlystrong

      The Donald has proposed this.

  • eddi

    All those who vote yes will be recieving their Daesh honorary membership certificates air-express from Raqqa.

  • Apple Scruff

    Time to stock up on these, Repubs.

  • Rotisserie Teal

    And Debbie Wasserman Shultz just sent me an email asking me to become a “Card carrying Democrat”….
    There are great Dems out there that I will support. Russ, Tammy Duckworth, Al Franken…. but the DSCC, the DCCC and the DNC will not get a fucking dime of my money EVAH again. The idea that I might in anyway be helping Chuck Shumer (voted against Iran deal because…Israel) or any of these gutless, terrorist enabling slugs makes me ill.

    Embarressed as Dem again.

    • gingerland62

      Diane Feinstein sounds like Dick Cheney. She is my Senator and I am disgusted. This ramping up of war rhetoric reminds me of the lead up to Iraq. I’ve broken out the gin and anti depressants.

      • theCryptofishist

        She’s always been hot for the military. Always.
        Although, she did get that torture report out. About the only good thing she’s done.

        • gingerland62

          I have never like her knowing her seat would belong to George Moscone or Harvey Milk if some pyscho right winger didn’t murder them.

  • Politics_Nerd

    Hello?

    • BeliTsari
    • Bammac

      Conservative’s idea of a long game is when the Cowboys go into overtime and the beer and pork rinds run low.

      • toomanyrappers

        They keep entertained by trying to guess the amount and direction of the turns in the next NASCAR race. ;)

        • Bammac

          One day they might get it right, too!

    • Biff52

      Amercian?

      One of us! One of us! One of us!

  • YayConspiracy

    This bill is brought to you by Christian Values ™.

  • Charles Wolf

    What’s up with that map?
    Didn’t you get the memo from Carson?
    He has relocated New England far to the north in Quebec, Newfoundland or some shit like that.

    • WCUIW

      Yes, he’s already taken over parts of Canada.

      Beware.

  • Ok Wonketteers, its’s time for a pop quiz. Which one of these is more frightening:

    1) Syrian refugees
    2) Rabid foaming-at-the-mouth gun-toting REAL AMERICANS screaming at Syrian five year-olds.
    3) Eli Whitney and the Cotton Gin. (Oops, I think i got the wro g answer key for this test.)

  • Contemptible cowards.

  • eddi

    Governor Rick Snyder of Michigan, the poster boy for anti-immigration hysteria about Syria, is now trying to have it both ways. “I said that, but I didn’t really say that.”
    http://www.npr.org/2015/11/20/456713306/governor-who-started-stampede-on-refugees-says-he-only-wants-answers?utm_medium=RSS&utm_campaign=news

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      France shamed their asses

    • bupkus23

      I’d like to see more extensive coverage of Governor Rick Scott’s lies about being asked to take 425 Syrian refugees in Florida ( which he heroically refused ).
      http://www.capitalnewyork.com/article/florida/2015/11/8583483/state-department-punctures-scotts-syrian-refugee-claim
      But, I guess “Governor BatBoy Lies” is kinda like “dog bites man” stories….

      • cmd

        “Get the facts before you continue to proceed.” Rick Scott. Ha ha ha. He SAID that.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          You mean like the FACT that Rick Scott is a medicare fraudster?

  • Billy Rubin

    Minnesota, represent! Keith Ellison in 2024!

  • IndianaKevin

    “Now that we know a Syrian refugee was involved in the attacks in Paris,” Indiana Gov. Mike Pence was shown saying in a Headline News report this morning. Numerous media reports tell us one of the terrorists entered Europe amid a wave of Syrians fleeing civil war. Pence is the first person I’m aware of saying that terrorist WAS a refugee. The refugees are fleeing from terrorists. To be a refugee and a terrorist would require a special kind of mental illness.

    Governors’ statements to the public are usually very carefully drafted and reviewed before the leaders go before cameras. Did Pence intentionally describe a refugee as a terrorist, or was this a careless mistake by him and his staff?

    • cmd

      Even if they don’t say that the terrorist was a refugee, it’s not a huge leap of illogic for the people who are listening to them. I hear an asswipe on FOX this morning saying with a straight face that one of them came in as a refugee. Of course no one bothers to mention that even if a person made it to Europe as a refugee they would still have to go through the lengthy screening process to get admitted to the US as a refugee.

      • johnnymorrissey

        Unfortunately, it’s not a lengthy process. Many refugees cross from Turkey to the small Greek island of Leros, where the arrangements for reception are rudimentary, at best.

        The matter overlooked is that the refugees seen on the newsfootage—lines of healthy-looking young men are the refugees heading for the European Union countries. These are the refugees who are NOT going to the USA. The refugees destined for America are from the camps in Jordan, Lebanon and Turkey, who are vouched for by the UN High Commissioner for Refugees.

        • cmd

          Right. I mean getting through the process to be admitted as a refugee in Europe would not get them into the United States as a refugee. But why let facts get in the way. Refugees. Scary. Muslim. Passports. Terrorists. I didn’t even realize that the refugees in those camps apply for refugee status but not to be sent to a particular country and may end up any number of places once they get through the process, IF they do.

          • johnnymorrissey

            Ah, come on. You didn’t think the USA would accept any old refugees, did you? Only the best, hand-picked refugeees for the USA!

            The refugees entering the European Union are the skilled, with the health and wealth to make, and to pay for, the journey. 40+% of the refugees entering the EU hold a undergraduate degree. Part of the reason Kanzlerin Merkel agreed to accept so many is that Germany is experiencing a severe labour-shortage in skilled workers. The other part of the reason is an overwhelmingly humane gesture, which shamed many of us. Those of us still with the capacity for shame, of course.

          • Charles Wolf

            But they’re Germans. They like sausages.
            Are you certain they aren’t planning to process and eat the refugees?

          • johnnymorrissey

            I think their tastes are more refined, these days: they prefer Greek.

    • johnnymorrissey

      Claims that a Syrian refugee was one of the attackers are based on a report that the passport of a Syrian refugee was found on or near the body of a dead suicide bomber. The Greek government claims that someone using the passport was among the refugees who landed in the Greek islands in early October.

      Was the passport were genuine? They can be bought illicitly for about $200-$250 dollars, since Syria is hardly the most over-centralised and bureaucratic state at the moment. Many are asking, “Who takes their passport on a suicide mission?” A passport which is completely unharmed at the scene of an explosion?

      The claim is further complicated by the recent arrest in Serbia of a man carrying a passport matching the one found in Paris.

      http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/nov/17/serbian-police-arrest-man-with-syrian-passport-matching-paris-attackers

      • Biff52

        Like I believe Mohammed Atta’s passport was found intact at the WTC, also.

  • IDon’tCareWhatYouThink

    They just want to use this against the Democratic nominee. Yay, political theater with human lives.

    • mardam422

      That’s the most disgusting part. In the meantime real people get hurt, even killed. But then, they aren’t Americans, so they don’t count.

  • Rick Hill

    So yesterday one of the right wing shrills decries Obama for letting the French lead in the fight on terrorism and today the right is collectively wetting themselves and hunkering down in their blanket forts yelling: “I am too a big boy! They don’t skear me!!”

  • Vegan and Tiara

    Why can’t O’Bummer keep us safe in Paris?

  • Bammac

    Big, he-man talk,gun-fondling and under the bed-hiding, pants crapping fear of furringers go together like grits and side meat and belly flab…

  • Addie

    Maybe Congress should give this woman a medal for manning the front line of terrorism.

  • longtail

    In all fairness, Republicans were scared half to death before ISIS published a video showing Times Square so it makes sense that they would be crapping in their pants now. It should be pointed out, though, that it was their stupid middle eastern policy that founded ISIS.

  • Bammac

    Conservacowards: For the holidays only, these are now available by the gross.

  • Biff52

    Someone with ‘shooping skillz could do something with this.

  • Jon Sussex

    USAmerica is #30 in the world in accepting Syrian refugees. I blame Obama, anticompetitive regulations and taxes (on the job creators). Which candidate for president will restore us to our rightful place as #1?

  • UnsaltedSinner

    The French may want that statue back.

    • mardam422

      Not after we’ve crapped all over it.

  • mardam422

    I phoned my Democratic “Representative” to register my disgust with his “vote” on this thingy. His poor flunky tried to tell me that ‘No, this wasn’t about that. It was about making the screening process more “streamlined” and safer”. I told him to go to hell. Nicely, of course.

  • mardam422

    Afraid, afraid, afraid. Afraid of Ebola. Afraid of gheys. Definitely afraid of blahs. Afraid of the BLM, the IRS, the DoE, the (fill in any number of things here).

    And don’t give me that “I’m not afraid, I’m angry” bullshit. You’re afraid. And you make me sick.

  • Dave Basener

    So 30,000 USofA-ans die each year in car accidents for the dubious privilege of going to the mall or a fast-crap burger joint. Even if 2/3 of those are the fault of low-life’s with drug fried brains, that still leaves far more deaths by-car every year than the by-terrorist total since at least 1900. These Jesus-ites (we know they’re Jesus-ites because they keep telling us) can not accept a minimal risk to follow their founder’s admonition “as you do to the least of these, so you do to me”. But they can accept a much larger risk to get to the mall to spend some of that wealth that they must not actually have because… see above note about their founder’s admonitions, all of which they seem to ignore constantly.

    And, even if they are not Jesus-ists, can’t they see the repulsive immorality in this? Would they not have taken on a greater risk to their very own personal life to swim out into the Mediterranean to save that poor child we saw in the photographs? If not, then fuck them!

  • Bren

    Republican’s Brown people values – if we don’t get to bomb them just bar them.

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