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They look pretty dangerous, all right.
They look pretty dangerous, all right.

Looks like the terrorists are already winning. Following Friday’s attacks in Paris by eight terrorists, the governors of Alabama, Michigan, Texas, and Arkansas have announced that they won’t accept any Syrian refugees for relocation in their states, because they are terrified. Mission accomplished, ISIS.

Update: More states have joined the ParanoiaFest; see end of post

Alabama Gov. Robert Bentley’s official announcement managed to sound super-tough, to reassure the citizens of the Chickenhawk State that they needn’t fear any scary Muslims:

After full consideration of this weekend’s attacks of terror on innocent citizens in Paris, I will oppose any attempt to relocate Syrian refugees to Alabama through the U.S. Refugee Admissions Program. As your Governor, I will not stand complicit to a policy that places the citizens of Alabama in harm’s way […]

The acts of terror committed over the weekend are a tragic reminder to the world that evil exists and takes the form of terrorists who seek to destroy the basic freedoms we will always fight to preserve. I will not place Alabamians at even the slightest, possible risk of an attack on our people. Please continue to join me in praying for those who have suffered loss and for those who will never allow freedom to fade at the hands of terrorists

It’s awful nice to know Bentley has given the events “full consideration” before we have any particular information on who the Paris attackers were or whether they were French citizens or foreign fighters, or some combination. The one Syrian passport found near one of the dead terrorists is likely a forgery, according to French police.

Also, that pose of toughness is undercut just a teensy bit by one small detail in Bentley’s brave press release: He acknowledges that there “have been no Syrian refugees relocated in Alabama to date, though neighboring states have processed a number of refugees.” And also that there is no intelligence to indicate any terrorist threat against the state’s critical infrastructure, like the f’ball stadium. Roll Tide!

Similarly, Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder also announced Sunday that the state would suspend resettlement of Syrian refugees in the Perfect Tree Height state until he’s certain that the Department of Homeland Security will never let a bad person into the country, ever.

“Michigan is a welcoming state and we are proud of our rich history of immigration. But our first priority is protecting the safety of our residents,” Snyder said in a statement. “Given the terrible situation in Paris, I’ve directed that we put on hold our efforts to accept new refugees until the U.S. Department of Homeland Security completes a full review of security clearances and procedures.

“There will be difficult days ahead for the people of France and they remain in our thoughts and prayers. It’s also important to remember that these attacks are the efforts of extremists and do not reflect the peaceful ways of people of Middle Eastern descent here and around the world.”

Well, that was nice. At least he supposes the ones already here are OK. In today’s Republican Party, that’s downright liberal of him.

The Michigan blockade on refugees is especially stupid, given the state’s already substantial community of Syrian-Americans and others Middle Easterners, many of whom have been in the U.S. for generations (yes, yes, wingnuts, we know, “no-go zones where sharia law is in effect”). Many Syrians wanting to escape the civil war have family in Michigan already:

Ziad Sahloul of Dearborn said his relatives in Syria suffer from a litany of problems: little water, food shortages, electricity that comes and goes.

They’re desperate to move to the United States or Europe but no one wanted them, even before the terrorist attack, said Sahloul. Now it will be harder than ever to escape their fate, he said.

Not surprisingly, as we were writing this piece, the news arrived that governors Greg Abbott in Texas and Asa Hutchinson of Arkansas have announced that they too will take the cowering-in-fear approach, because they know there’s never a political downside to stirring up fear of Muslims. Even if the people who desperately want to come here are escaping ISIS.

In a press conference Monday, President Obama said that the U.S. will continue to accept refugees, because we are the USA. At the G20 summit in Turkey, he said, “Slamming the door in their faces would be a betrayal of our values.” We couldn’t agree more.

And so, while the Official Wonkette Editorial Policy on the Syrian civil war itself remains “????,” our Official Wonkette Editorial Policy on Syrian Refugees is stated thusly:

Of course U.S. America should take in refugees. It’s our fucking job. The alternative is to leave them stuck in hell, where they will either die or become radicalized against the United States. Or else we might as well replace the plaque on that nice welcoming statue in New York Harbor with one that reads, “Sucks to be you.” The lesson of World War II was supposed to be “Never Again,” not “leave ’em to die because they’re scary foreigners with the wrong religion.”

Yes, by all means, screen refugees to keep terrorist infiltrators out. We know how to do that and are doing it already. The way you stop terrorism is with police work and intelligence, not leaving people to die. Can we guarantee that no refugee will ever become a terrorist? With screening, probably better than we can protect against American-born white guys who want to blow up a federal building.

Update: Being a dick to refugees seems to be almost as popular among Republican governors as hating Obamacare! Since this article posted, Republican governors of an additional five states have announced that they will not allow Syrian refugees to be relocated in their states. The complete list of shameful cowardly states, as of 1:43 p.m. EST Monday, includes Alabama, Arkansas, Illinois, Indiana, Louisiana, Michigan, Mississippi, Massachusetts, and Texas. We’re predicting a House Resolution calling for Emma Lazarus’s poem to be jackhammered off the base of the Statue of Liberty by sometime midweek.

To his credit, Democratic Gov. Dannel Maloy of Connecticut has announced that his state will continue to take in Syrian refugees.

Update, 3:00 EST:New Hampshire Gov. Maggie Hassan has reportedly joined the parade of paranoids; while not saying that New Hampshire would refuse refugees, the Democratic governor has called on the federal government to stop accepting of Syrian refugees until screenings are strengthened.

[HuffPo / Middle East Eye / Detroit News / BuzzFeed / Gov. Asa Hutchinson on Twitter / Buzzfeed / update: USA Today]

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  • SnarkOff

    More to the point, if you were a brown-skinned Middle Eastern person of the Muslim persuasion, why the fucking fuck would you want to relocate to Arkansas, Alabama, Michigan or Texas?

    • Helena Handbag

      darn

      • SnarkOff

        Naw, you were still first. You win. Your prize is that you get to relocate to Alabama.

        • Helena Handbag

          I already live in Florida so it’s really a tossup

    • Swampgas_Man

      Sheeeeeeit, I don’t even know why caucasians go to Texas without a gun pointing at their head.

      • Rex Thorne

        Texans will provide the gun pointing at your head. No need to bring your own.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Actually, there are a LOT of middle easterners in Michigan – concentrated in the Dearborn area. That’s where to go to get good Falafel when you’re in Detroit.

      • Zippy

        Loofah libul!!1!

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Also Toledo. They have a beautiful mosque next to a cornfield.

    • Lizzietish81

      Actually in the Deep south Muslims are the second largest religious group.

      • CapnFatback

        Yup, right after Cracker Evangelist.

        • CapnFatback

          And NASCAR.

          • CapnFatback

            SHIT! And pork fat.

          • Vecciojohn

            Don’t forget about college football. And high school football. And middle school football. And . . ..

          • Vienna Woods

            I am so happy that I am retiring this year after 27 years in this school and the football season ended on Saturday, so I will never again have to listen to a fucking play-by-play announcement that goes on for 5 minutes on the Monday morning announcements.

            Apparently the losing side’s parents got into a fight on the bus after the game, and the driver had to pull over on the highway and call the cops.

          • Vecciojohn

            Because of course they did. God, I don’t envy teachers. I know too many.

    • greyXstar

      I’m a white guy living in Florida, and I wouldn’t want to relocate to any of those places!

      • Oblios_Cap

        Me, too. And I wouldn’t either.

    • Metadude

      Good deals on Motel 6’s. The barrier for entry is much lower in those poorer more rural states.

  • Helena Handbag

    first!!eleven!

  • DahBoner
    • dslindc

      Cat libel!

      • SnarkOff

        Tissue box libel!

    • CriticalDragon1177

      I don’t think that’s a matter of bravery or cowardice. He’s just not smart enough to figure out how to get that thing off his head. Also he lacks Opposable thumbs.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Thank FSM that they don’t have opposable thumbs, or we’d all be in more trouble than can be imagined.

        https://youtu.be/h6CcxJQq1x8

        • CriticalDragon1177

          LOL!

        • Vecciojohn

          Truth! We’d be too busy to fight each other if cats could open doors and hold weapons.

        • Doug Langley

          A cat stroking Bloveld . . .

        • lroom

          At my house the cat and the bunny have teamed up and I’m just a peon. Also the dogs are pretty terrified.

  • Lizzietish81

    Syrians breathe a sigh of relief, after all those places are crawling with white Christian Terrorists.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Fuck the goobernatorial cowardly clowns. None of them would survive one week in a refugee camp or trying to migrate into Europe on foot.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      They haven’t the slightest fucking clue. Damn, the comfortable need to be made discomfited. Badly.

  • SpideySenser

    Even in MA … “Massachusetts Gov. Charlie Baker says he’s opposed to allowing more Syrian refugees into Massachusetts in the aftermath of the terrorist attacks in Paris until he learns more from the federal government.” I am depressed. FFS!

    • Lizzietish81

      Martha, Martha, Martha…why didn’t you kick this losers ass?

      Oh right, you suck at campaigning.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Dems in Mass need to kick this “it’s my turn” habit they have.

        • Lizzietish81

          I blame Bill Weld. For years there was a nice balance of Sane Republican Governor who would work with the Democrats. In return the Dems wouldn’t send up any powerful opponents for the Governorship. Then Mittens broke it.

          I’m thinking they thought the state GOP learned it’s lesson. Why I don’t know.

          • Vecciojohn

            Why does Charlie Brown fall for the football gag every time? Dems are pathetic. Just pathetic.

      • HobbesEvilTwin

        In my bluest of blue neighborhoods all the damn progressives jumped on the Martha bandwagon on day one, when clearly Berwick was the much better candidate!

        • Lizzietish81

          When Romney won, he was up against some lady named O’Brian. Reich would have been so much better.

          • HobbesEvilTwin

            Yup, I think Reich would’ve kick Mitten’s ass.

    • HobbesEvilTwin

      Fuck Baker – he’s just crying out for attention. Probably needs his diaper changed.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        David Vitter Libel!

  • Spotts1701

    Governor Jindal has hopped on the train, too. Because it might get him another 10 votes, or something.

    https://twitter.com/BobbyJindal/status/666296258852622336?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

    • CriticalDragon1177

      Well who knows, if Donald Trump stops being a bigot, Ben Carson starts to actually use his brain, and Carly Fiorina actually stops believing every single piece of anti abortion propaganda, no matter how stupid, he might win.

      • calliecallie

        If Donald Trump stopped being a bigot, Ben Carson used his brain for what he’s good at (surgery), and Carly Fiorina just stopped, we’d all win!

        • CriticalDragon1177

          Yeah, except that pigs will fly before it happens.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Coward.

      • CriticalDragon1177

        Probably also pandering to his base.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Pandering to his base of cowards, instead of telling them to stop being nervous nellies, grow a set, and man up.

      • data_ninja

        I would lean more towards ‘ignorant’. Or ‘outright spiteful’. Maybe ‘fear mongering mother fucking piece of shit that’s just trying to shore up abysmal polling points by doing the most hurtful things to people in need right now’ might also be applicable.

    • DahBoner

      Now they’re confused about why Jindaloo wants to stop refugees in Los Angeles…

    • elviouslyqueer

      Brown immigrant shits pants over letting in other brown immigrants. Groundbreaking.

      • Zippy

        see also: Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio, both beneficiaries of wet foot/dry foot

    • say wha

      Anchor baby says what?

    • Oblios_Cap

      Damn! He might shoot up to 1% in the polls.

  • FlownOver

    So all those “good guys with guns” in Tejas are really just impotent paranoids with anger management issues? Who woulda thunk it?

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Fear is the mind killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration.

    Rethuglicans are cowards. They live for fear. They don’t mind killing their minds, which they wish weren’t around getting in the way of their fear.

    • Spotts1701

      But they’re tough! They eat lightning and crap thunder! At least that’s what they say until the media asks them questions they don’t like.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        They’re tough inside the bubble. But if they move outside it, if only for a moment, they turn to jelly. And not tasty grape jelly, mind.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Being Republicans, it would have to be petroleum jelly.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        I thought they ate nails. Before breakfast.

  • CapnFatback

    They hate us for our freedom to hate them and deny them freedom.

    • Vecciojohn

      They hate us because they know our God could beat up Allah in a fist fight. That’s my considered opinion.

    • crisptickle

      That way it almost makes sense…

  • CriticalDragon1177

    Yes of course, they’re Muslims, therefor they’re evil. Never mind all the Muslims around the world that are not.

  • Vecciojohn

    Do these knuckle-draggers have any idea how the average American Muslim feels about terrorism? Do they realize our security people rely on information from the Muslim community to root out potential terrorists? Do I realize that I’m wasting my breath?

    • Rock Drummer

      Sorry, you do not realize it yet……………how ’bout now?

      • Vecciojohn

        It’s beginning to sink in. Always was a slow learner.

    • Toomush_Infer

      Not wasting your breath – just not yelling loud enough yet…

  • Rock Drummer

    How big would the bus have to be if we were to launch each and every asshole republican underneath it?

  • TheBidenator

    Ya know, not for anything but the GOP is actually acting in solidarity with ISIL by refusing to take in these refugees that are fleeing their brutality….ISIL will be more than happy to have them back to go all barbaric on them, particularly if they’re Shiite.

    • laineypc

      You misunderstand. There are no “refugees”. (See Solution1176 above if he hasn’t been deleted yet.)

  • Clay Denton

    Illinois Governor Bruce Rauner (R-I Got Mine) has joined the list. Rauner doesn’t give a hoot about the people who already live here. Who would expect him to welcome foreigners?

    • ChicagoLovesYou

      We even beat Wisconsin on the stupid train? Wow. I’m sure they won’t be far behind, but still.

    • Rex Thorne

      Yeah, Illinois is unfortunately now a cowardly, selfish state.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    When it was suggested that ISIS had planted a passport to induce an anti-refugee backlash and drive people to their cause, my first thought was OK, that’s pretty cunning if it works, but there can’t be anybody stupid enough to fall for it…

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Oh, 27% of the population of this country is more than stupid enough to fall for it.

      • SuspectedDemocrat

        And that 27% is gerrymandered to control over 50% of Congress.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Aye.

      • Zippy

        that 27% skyrockets after events like Paris. People get really dumb when they’re afraid

  • dslindc

    This is obviously the good, Christian thing to do.

    FFS. Fuck these governors in the ear with votes!

    • CriticalDragon1177

      Vile Muslim! How dare you tell us good Christian Republican Jesus worshipers what to do!

    • Pecker Rider of Pern

      They should be especially rusty and jagged, uh, “votes.”

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Rethuglicans seem to have it as their mission in life to disprove the last three words of The Star Spangled Banner.

    Go ahead, assholes, fulfill DAESH’s agenda.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    I hope wingnuts notice that Gov Bentley said “acts of terror” and not “terrorist acts.” Clearly he’s not taking this seriously. Or he fell victim to Obama’s mind control rays.

    • Cleo_Cat

      BENTleyGHAZZI!!!11!!

  • Joshua Norton

    In one breath the chicken hawk bodice-rippers are shrieking how ISIS is worse than the Nazi’s. In the next they’re shitting on the people trying to escape them.

    Go figure.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      That would be the historically accurate response, to turn away refugees and send them back to be slaughtered.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Alas, the reaction of the Western democracies to Jews attempting to flee from Hitler is something to be deeply ashamed of.

  • Lizzietish81

    The safety of our people is first priority….

    Unless they work in poor and dangerous conditions
    or if they happen to get in the way of someone’s bullets.
    or if they get sick

    • Spotts1701

      Well yeah. Because those things would cost money or effort. But telling furriners to sod off? Doesn’t take anything at all.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Or they interfere with profit or executive bonuses.

      • eddi

        Or make your town hall meeting go long and let the pizza get cold.

  • HobbesEvilTwin

    Alabama? Arkansas? Texas, Louisiana? I thought we were trying to help the refugees. Why would we located them in any of those hellholes?

    • ChicagoLovesYou

      New Orleans and Austin are pretty cool.

      • Doug Langley

        I met a few refugees from New Orleans after Katrina . . .

  • Zippy

    Only a fucking idiot would believe either that A) that passport was real or B) that a jihadi suicide bomber- a group who explicitly reject modern notions of nation-states or political boundaries- would go to the trouble of carrying a passport on his way to Allah after blowing himself to bits.

    The passport was intentionally planted to do exactly what it is doing- gin up irrational fear of the Syrian refugees and cause other countries to go all xenophobic and close their borders. The GOP is so damned dumb that they are being played by ISIS.

    • Spotts1701

      Some of them may know they’re getting worked, but it plays to their xenophobic base so why not capitalize?

      • Zippy

        Yup- the evil minority working the rubes for money and power. Patriots my ass…

    • Villago Delenda Est

      This country is FILLED with fucking idiots.

    • eddi

      They needed an excuse to justify their racism. No brown, funny-talking types in my lily-white state.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      ISIS – A cotillion of genius super villains conquering the world from the backs of 70’s Toyota pickups.

  • Leema Raven

    In all fairness, at least the refugees wont have to relocate to Texas, Alabamer, Michigan or Arkinstone.

    • Beezelbubbles

      It’s “Arkenstone”. Oh, and Hobbit libel!

      • Leema Raven

        I stand corrected.

        Hobbit? Nah, it’s from an old Flinstone episode.

        Yes, I’m that old :)

        • laineypc

          So Tolkien plagiarized Flintstones?

          • Leema Raven

            Lol. Prob not. I’m not certain when the Hobbit was written. Flinstones were, like, late 60’s, (guessing). It was prob a later episode too, Freds cousins were visitin’ from ArkEnstone.
            :)

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    The important thing is that we must Panic before we think clearly.

    Senator Sessions is introducing legislation as I type to defund relocation of Syrian refugees because “this is worse than that time Obama kilt us with the Ebola”.

    • Spotts1701

      Yeah, because we don’t have a looming government shutdown to take care of or anything like that…

  • Joe Beese

    Well, I don’t want to run the slightest risk of a terrorist attack in Alabama. Because I don’t feel – nor want to feel obliged to present – any solidarity with Alabama.

  • HolidayinCambodia

    Syria probably has better healthcare, and gun control, than Texas. Or Alabama. Or Arkansas.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      Sending folks to Alabama is just flat out cruel. Probably a human rights violation.

      • HolidayinCambodia

        The go-karts in Gulf Shores are worthwhile, though.

        • DoILookAmused2u ?

          One good storm will fix that.

          • Vecciojohn

            And you know there’s one a-comin’, what with the queers actin’ up the way they do these days.

          • Beezelbubbles

            Yeah, but God has terrible aim, so he’ll miss the Gulf and hit Oklahoma again.

  • Toomush_Infer

    As a resident of Michigan, I have to say that (snark aside) I condemn in the strongest way possible the idiocy of Governer Snyder in a state once comprised of German emigres during World War II… Many many of my fellow Michiganders share my view…(okay, snark away)…

  • Lizzietish81
    • Callyson

    • eddi

      Thank you.

  • Walter Wellstone

    If I were a Syrian refugee I would respectfully decline any invitation to settle in Alabama, thankyouverymuch.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      And hope Mississippi follows suit.

    • Zippy

      not if the alternative was staying in Syria

      • DoILookAmused2u ?

        They aren’t in Syria right now.

        They are in Jordan and Lebanon or Greece or …

        • Zippy

          for now. If ISIS is successful though…

      • Walter Wellstone

        I would think about it. It’s Alabama for fuck’s sakes.

        • DoILookAmused2u ?

          Huntsville has smart people. Surrounded, though.

          • Walter Wellstone

            Still. It’s Alabama, for fuck’s sakes.

          • richardgrabman

            Wouldn’t that improve the native stock?

        • Zippy

          Nope- that’s the thing, those refugees are desperate, they’re getting slaughtered at home. That’s exactly why ISIS is trying to turn Europe and the US xenophobia- to put those refugees in the impossible position of having to accept ISIS because no one else will take them

          • Walter Wellstone

            I doubt their fate would be any different in a place like Alabama. At least in Syria they can play along and pretend to join ISIS. In Alabama they would be accepted only if they were white and had been born in Alabama. They can integrate all they want. In a Red State like Alabama they will always be outsiders.

          • ChicagoLovesYou

            I think it depends where in the state you end up. I haven’t been to AL but I generally lump it in with MS, and when I was in Biloxi most of the people seemed pretty welcoming to the Vietnamese population. Admittedly Vietnamese aren’t MUSLIN, but they are still Not American.

      • Pecker Rider of Pern

        Right! Can you imagine voluntarily relocating to Alabama? Nobody lives there who can’t get out anyway.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Alabama. A good place to be from.

          • Solution1776

            If you hate America……there is the boat. Bye.

        • richardgrabman

          What they’re afraid of is that persecuted people settling in states like Alabama would be less likely to vote for assholes that deny people their rights.

    • Solution1776

      Good…..they don’t want you anyway. You sick liberal traitors.

      • Rex Thorne

        The fact that you pretend that the sane, modern people outside of your cult are traitors tells us a lot about you.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      And I’ve been through the Texas panhandle. No thank you.

  • Vecciojohn

    Look for the next Republican debate to be a pissing contest to see who can say the most outrageously slanderous things about Muslims and suggest the most brutal treatment of the refugees. Hey, maybe we could put all the Muslims in internment camps for the duration the war on terror™.

    • ChicagoLovesYou

      I think it’s War on Terror™. Trademarks should be capitalized.

      • Vecciojohn

        Sorry. You’re quite right, of course. I get a little ahead of myself sometimes.

    • Candy Apple

      Internment camps, deportation or just straight up murdered by gangs of Christains. (That was an accidentally perfect typo, and I’m keeping it there.)

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Very appropriate.

  • TheBidenator

    For the love of all that is anything, refusing these refugees is not lessening the possibility of terrorism it is RAISING it by creating lots of angry, resentful people with loved ones who are now DEAD because of you ‘moral’ Christian turds. Besides, chances are that ISIL turrists won’t be Syrian nationals because Syria is one of three majority Shiite states in the region and ISIL is a Sunni nationalist organization. So it’s a lot of dumb with real consequences for people who need help being refused by ignorant, scared white people out of Christian nationalism. Also, did anyone see Jeb?Jeb?JEB! wants us to only help Christians over there because obviously we can guarantee no terrorists will receive aid…..he’s so smrt and compassionate.

    • limberrat

      To them, all Muslims are the same. Sunni and Shiite means nothing to these nutbags.

      • Land Shark

        But they can tell a Catholic from a True Christian™ at 100 yards.

        Yeah … go with that.

        • limberrat

          Funny since I grew up True Christian™ and wound up marrying a liberal Catholic. My mother looooved that.

    • Solution1776

      You people really are sick. I mean, really fucking sick. You are just like your master Obama……you really want to destroy America. You make me and my fellow Americans sick. You are not Americans, you are traitors. The millions of soliders who died to protect your rights to spew this vile shit mean nothing to you, do they. Fuck off…..I hope you all get beheaded by an Islamic terrorist. I hope they move to your neighborhood and implement Shari’a law. Why don’t you all move out of this country if you hate it so much. You sick fucking people.

      • Roni Raven

        You seem nice!

        • Oblios_Cap

          You’re just saying that, you manners-possessing lie-beral.

        • Solution1776

          I am nice, but we true Americans are getting fed up with this crap.

          • Oblios_Cap

            Do you all have stars on your bellies? Is that how you tell a “true” American?

            Or is more of hateful, ignorant outlook that sets you apart?

          • Solution1776

            Yes…..that’s it. True Americans respect the Constitution, respect the lives sacrificed for maintaining our rights, cares about and protects their neighbors, works hard to make something of themselves, tries to do what’s right. Got it now?

          • ChicagoLovesYou

            Oh, in that case, then why are you calling yourself one? Also you forgot the ™ after True Americans.

          • greyXstar

            Bullshit. If you cared at all about your neighbors, you would never even DREAM of saying you wish Daesh would behead them just because you disagree with them. You’re beyond disgusting.

          • Oblios_Cap

            Thanks for explaining that. I was beginning to think it meant you were a self-righteous prick.

            Thanks for the confirmation. I’ve got to get back to work. Maybe one day someone will hire you.

          • bobbert

            Which branch of the military did you serve in?

          • Rex Thorne

            No, stupid, fearful people like you are not “true Americans.”

            Wingnut media has been helping you destructive fools pretend to be patriots as you spew your hate for too long.

      • ChicagoLovesYou

        Well now your true colors come out. Glad to see you finally straight-up admitted you support Daesh and their beheading of people. Perhaps you’d like to provide the DHS with your current location?

        • Solution1776

          That is how stupid you are…..u cannot even understand my point.

          • ChicagoLovesYou

            I get a perverse delight when a teabagger calls me stupid. Thank you.

          • Solution1776

            Glad I could make you feel better about yourself. I am sure you needed it.

          • Wombat

            It adds a little je ne sais quoi when they do it with the grammar and spelling of a five year old.

      • greyXstar

        I bet you’re super fun at parties!

        • Solution1776

          We are at a crossroads……there will be no parties if we continue to allow things to continue as they are. Don’t you people study history? Know anything about Mao and China?

          • greyXstar

            Hey, history major, why don’t you enlighten us on what happened to the German Jewish refugees during WWII that the West was too afraid to take in?

          • Solution1776

            Answering a question with a question….huh? How intelligent.

          • greyXstar

            So do you just not know the answer, or do you just not want to admit how atrocious the answer is?

          • ChicagoLovesYou

            I drunk-clicked this link in Wikipedia just now https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_emigration
            but I don’t see anything in there about dirty ragheads coming into China, but that’s probably just the bourbon talking. Or your racism.

          • Wombat

            Considerably more than you, I’d wager.

        • sohadicouldsplit

          In a turd meets punch bowl kinda way.

      • TheBidenator

        I think you need to go and change your diaper there Solution…maybe buzz in your nurse at the rest home. Oh and by the way, YOU make me sick- this country was built by immigrants and undesirables and now thanks to a bunch of bullshit mostly bigotry you want to condemn other people to die so now you can go and screw yourself. You wouldn’t know American values if they sat on your face and farted you anti-American, bigoted racist turd…

      • TheBidenator

        How does it feel to know you hold the same position about these Syrian refugees as ISIL/Daesh does? You’re literally kicking the downtrodden in the face because of your own bigotry which is exactly what ISIL will do them….well that and butchering. So I hope you enjoy knowing you’re in agreement with that vile organization.

      • Joshua Norton

        Sorry, asswipe. My people came over on the Mayflower. If anyone gets to sit in judgement at the head table, it’s me, kicking your sorry ass out of MY country.

        • Land Shark

          One branch of the Shark family tree is Mass Bay colonists from the Mayflower. The other one is late 19th century Italians fleeing Italy. So who kicks out who?

        • willi0000000

          there are folks who’s ancestors started immigrating here about 20,000 years ago who might like to discuss a few things with you.

        • SpideySenser

          Ah, no. That would be the descendants of the Clovis .

      • calliecallie

        Is that banhammer of loving correction broken again?

        • Joshua Norton

          Dok already kicked him out. He’s leaving his stuff up for its entertainment value.

      • doktorzoom

        “Let’s expel/declare traitors those we disagree with!”

        Congratulations, you just qualified for ISIS membership.

      • Keith Rodgers

        For the last 150 years all the wars we fought were to protect OTHER peoples’ rights, you stupid, nasty, arrogant people-hating sack o’ shit.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Ooh! Sick burn!

      • theCryptofishist

        If people weren’t saying this sort of stuff–even besides the fact that it’s true–then the soldiers would have died in service of an empty dictatorship: without lively exchange of ideas, without a will to face hard truths, without love or justice or truth or even beauty.

  • FauxAntocles

    Land of the Pants-Pee-ers and Home of the Lily-Livered Chickenshits
    (present company excepted)

  • “As your Governor, I will not stand complicit to a policy that places the citizens of Alabama in harm’s way […]”

    Then resign already, asshole.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Don’t a lot of Alabama’s policies already put a lot of Alabama’s citizens in harm’s way?

  • Joshua Norton

    And yet every year these exact same people put on the Nativity play in their church which is about a Middle Eastern couple desperate for shelter.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      Yeah, damn War on Christmas.

    • greyXstar

      Yeah, what are the chances that ANY of them acknowledge the Middle Eastern part?

      • Candy Apple

        Jesus had blond hair and blue eyes. FACT.

        • Zippy

          We’re gonna need to see his long form birth certificate

        • dorquemada

          Verified.

          • chicken thief

            That fucker looks too gingery to be Jesus. Jesus wasn’t no ginger and neither was Santa Claus, just ask Megyn Kelly!

          • dorquemada

            Ginger Jesus is the name of my prog-xtian-death metal band.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            I didn’t know Obi-Wan Kenobi was a Christian.

        • greyXstar

          Can’t argue with historical fact.

    • Solution1776

      They weren’t radical muslims. Big difference douchebag.

      • chicken thief

        Put a coma after ‘difference’, dumbass.

      • Wombat

        Well of course not, you foolish coward. There wasn’t any such thing yet. Or Christians, for that matter.

        However, the local Romans did spend a lot of time whining about radicalized Jews, so there’s that.

    • chicken thief

      TOO SOON!!1!!!!

      Wait…

      • eddi

        Christmas lights and decorations are up and the carols are ringing over the mall speakers. ?

    • Redgyal

      You know who else was of Syrian descent? Steve Jobs. And look at what he did to the country.

      • Metadude

        Fuckin overpriced I-phones! What is your point?

        • Redgyal

          It’s a plot. Can’t you see sheeple!!!!1!!!

  • Callyson

    Again, eh?

    • chicken thief

      Without fear and Jesus and fear of Jesus, what they got?

    • ChicagoLovesYou

      It really is an accurate logo for the party. That is their entire platform. Socially, it’s fear of Muslims, gays, black people, women who think they should have control over their own bodies, etc. Fiscally, it’s fear of poor people.

  • Candy Apple

    Hey, remember how no one would allow Jewish refugees fleeing from Hitler to resettle in the United States? That totally worked out just fine for the Jews, so I’m sure the Syrians are gonna be okay!

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MS_St._Louis

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      Well, that was different because they were communists and terrorists who burned down th Reichstag

      • Candy Apple

        Just like these refugees, who totally just bombed Paris.

        • JustPixelz

          Syrian refugees burned down the Reichstag?

          • Candy Apple

            They’re responsible for everything that’s gone wrong in the world, and that’s why we need to keep them out of Texas!!!!1!!

          • Villago Delenda Est

            They’re close enough to Jerusalem to blame them for it, sure.

          • nmmagyar

            The Reichstag is in Jerusalem?

          • Beaumarchais?

            I just read that on the internet!

    • JustPixelz

      The minuscule number who made it here became grateful and productive citizens. Especially that Einstein feller.

    • richardgrabman

      True fact… Mexico accepted more Jewish refugees during WWII than the rest of the Allied countries together. most left after the end of the war, but those that stayed contributed mightily to the country’s economy and culture.

    • SadDemInTex

      I keep pointing this out…but no one reads history.

  • eddi

    Whining, sniveling, little cowardly douchmongers helping the terrorists out the best way they know how.

    • Vecciojohn

      Bravely brave Sir Chickenhawk ran away. ?

    • Oblios_Cap

      Is it cramped in your mom’s basement?

      • eddi

        I left out xenophobic. And unable to come up with witty witticisms.

      • eddi

        HEY PEOPLE, I’ve been trolled on Wonkette! Break out the sparkling cider. Because he sure ain’t bright enough to light the room. (in my Mom’s basement.

      • eddi

        MOMMY!! Oblivious is picking on me again!!!

  • 0gham

    Americans Christians heard the parable of the Good Samaritan and high fived each other when the priest and the Levite left the man to die in the street.

  • Vecciojohn

    I extend my deepest sympathy to the good people of Alabama, Michigan, Arkansas, et al., who are mortified by the craven acts of their governors. May God be with them at this hour. Nous sommes tous Alabamans, Texans, Michiganders, etc.

    • lroom

      Thank you from Alabama. Also my daughter has Muslim neighbors nicest folks you’ll ever meet.

    • calliecallie

      Thank you for your support. This totally sucks. I just this weekend saw a face place post about a local blanket making event, making blankets for incoming refugees.
      Won’t someone think of the blankets?!!?

  • Toomush_Infer

    Minnesota will not be doing this…

    • ChicagoLovesYou

      Gov. Dayton is pretty awesome. I think he also told people who didn’t like Muslims to GTFO.

  • CutterTeam

    These Republican Governors went on to add “Please note that today’s executive action will in no way limit the right of Americans to slaughter other Americans with assault weapons in numbers that actual terrorists could only dream about. As Americans, we understand that having our fucking heads blown off by other Americans — not foreigners — is a pillar of freedom and what separates us from those who would wish us harm.”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I call Poe’s Law on this comment!

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Everyone knows it hurts less to be killed by an American with a gun than a foreigner.

  • JustPixelz

    Texas state motto: Home of the scaredy cats.

    • Candy Apple

      They didn’t want to take the Gitmo detainees either, fucking casuals. You’d think they’d be extra safe, with all those guns.

    • Keith Rodgers

      No amount of guns n’ ammo can cure the scared.

  • JustPixelz

    Alabama, Texas, and Arkansas is where God sends a lot of hurricanes and floods and tornadoes for some reason.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      And the Syrian refugees who absolutely are not allowed in Alabama, Texas, and Arkansas, no way, no how, not now, not never, say, “Thank you!”

  • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

    Suspend all Belgian visas!

    • Zippy

      ban the waffles!

      • MrBlobfish

        Now, now. Let’s not do anything rash.

        • Beaumarchais?

          Okay, smother them with strawberries and whipped cream!

      • say wha

        #FREEDOMWAFFLES

        • data_ninja

          I’m getting a double meaning from this, not sure if it was planned that way.

  • Solution1776

    WTF…..are you kidding me. The author of this article wants muslim refugees. I am sorry, it is NOT OUR FUCKING JOB to take in radical muslims. I bet he would be singing a different tune if those ‘refugees’ were moving next door to him. Fucking hypocrite.

    • Pecker Rider of Pern

      I’d wager Doc’d offer them some “welcome to the neighborhood” pie or something. Not all patriots are selfish, chickenshit garbage people like yourself.

    • Beaumarchais?

      The refugees are fleeing the radicals, you idiot. And yes, my next door neighbors are muslim.

    • Cheesus Crust

      They are more than welcome to move in next to me. As a matter of fact, I prefer them over nutbag, chickenhawking morons like yourself.

    • ChicagoLovesYou

      We’re talking about taking in refugees. You decided to add the “radical” part.

      • Pecker Rider of Pern

        And the “Muslim” part, too, frankly. Not like being Muslim is a bad thing, but not all Middle Easterners are Muslim, nor are all Muslims Middle Easterners. But Solution1776 is way too busy with pants-shitting to trifle with nuance.

        • richardgrabman

          I lived… er, resided… for a time in Cedar Rapids Iowa, with the oldest Muslim community in the United States. Syrians , as it happens, but try telling who is and isn’t a Muslim by the way they act or think or do stuff… other than not being screaming loonies for Jesus, they’re no different than anyone else in Iowa.

    • MrBlobfish

      YOUR GUNS ARE USELESS AGAINST THEIR FLYING CARPETS!!! THEY WILL KILL US ALL!@!

      • willi0000000

        finally! . . . a rational reason to fear.

    • witsended
    • Juan de Fuca

      “I bet he would be singing a different tune if those ‘refugees’ were moving next door to him. ”

      Mary Jane’s Last Dance?

      https://youtu.be/2mlBmgVcBa4

      • witsended

        Stop confusing me.
        Thought it was Tom Petty- Refugee.

    • TheBidenator

      You assume radicalization simply because they are Muslim which makes you pretty much the same as anti-Semites who turned down Jewish refugees in the US during the Holocaust based upon the “Protocols of Zion” so good job, bigot….

    • doktorzoom

      Dear recipient of the banhammer: As it happens, I live in Boise Idaho, about a block away from an office that serves refugees. My son has volunteered in a program that teaches English to refugees. Thanks to your asshole comment, you’ve done some good, maybe: On my next day off, I’m swinging by the refugee agency to see what volunteer opportunities they have.

      Commenter banned, comment left up for mockery purposes.

      • GDleftyPart2

        I was hoping there would be some insightful info about how to stop a person from blowing themselves up in my vicinity and now you’ve done banned him….damn.
        On to the mocking part of the day….

    • GDleftyPart2

      Let them live next door, they won’t blow up their own house shitstain, they go somewhere else like McVeigh did…

      • Keith Rodgers

        They can come live next to us here in South Jersey. Hell, we got Camden!
        Srsly, if they can stand the tax rates there’s plenty of room here.

    • Usedtobeyellerdawg

      They could move in next door to me, and if they want to open a restaurant, or even just come over and teach me some dishes, all the better!

    • Hardly Ideal

      The whole reason we have screening (and a rather robust program, at that) is to keep the radicals out.

      Also, this guy named Ezekiel had something to say on a similar matter: “Behold,
      this was the guilt of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had
      arrogance, abundant food and careless ease, but she did not help the
      poor and needy.

  • Cheesus Crust

    Hold on… wait, wait, wait. Ahem. Weren’t we hearing, just the other night, that if only France wasn’t such a gun-free place, all of that wouldn’t have happened, that the John Wayne/Rambo types would have prevented it? And since Alabama and Texas are loaded with gun-humping idiots, why would the dear Governors even be worried?

    • Pecker Rider of Pern

      Woah, woah, woah. What is this logic crap? Can’t you see it’s time to panic!?!? The only point of gun-hoarding is so you can panic more effectively, at anything that moves. Our brave patriots have graduated from security blankets to guns.

      • Whale Chowder

        In a perverse way, it makes sense of Open Carry. That way the pants-pissing chickenshits are well marked for mocking purposes.

  • Beaumarchais?

    Add Massachusetts to the list. I’m deeply disappointed that Charlie Baker, our actually-kinda-okay Republican governor, played the pander card on Syrian refugees today. As did Marty Walsh, the Democratic mayor of Boston.

    • Relativicus

      No. Just no. Charlie Baker is not “actually-kinda-okay.” His goals are the same as Abbott’s, et al., he just doesn’t have the same leeway to spew his Id all over the Commonwealth as the others have. I am, however, relatively surprised about Marty.

      Although, it must be pointed out that, regardless of ideology, we are all humans and we are all subject to the same fears, rational and irrational. The conceit among liberals is that we are able to bury those fears in pursuit of a higher, more meaningful purpose (I.e. The advancement of society and humankind). And it can become very difficult to maintain those principles in the face of events that elicit more primal feelings.

      Take, for example, Bill Maher, a liberals liberal, yes? Except he’s been wetting himself over Islamic extremism for the past year or two. From my perspective, he’s busy clearing the liberal conscience, telling us it’s okay to wet ourselves in that context. It is not okay. As hard as it may be to aspire to be better during times that test our humanity, we should not lose sight of who we are or what we believe and seek to achieve.

      If maintaining liberal principles and goals were easy, we’d be conservatives.

  • MrBlobfish

    There’s only one man who can save us: http://s2.dmcdn.net/K9IZE/1280×720-JtH.jpg

    • Spotts1701

      “Come on, the whole forty of you, I’ll take you on one at a time!”

      • nmmagyar

        Sounds like several of my younger weekends…

  • dorquemada

    Yeah but they’re still taking in white people…

    • Oblios_Cap

      Eastern Europeans, not so much.

  • Juan de Fuca

    What are terrorists going to attack in Arkansas? The Walmart distribution warehouse?

    Continues reading…

    • chicken thief

      The new house that Jim Bob built for Josh and Anna?

    • Thaumaturgist

      Let’s not forget that Homeland Security put tunnels under Walmarts in Texas. Who thinks Arkansas is safe?

  • orygoon

    I don’t think they can really do that. Once you have the right to be in the United States, you have the right to be in any of them, don’t you?

    • Yea, as far as I understand it, they can’t do shit about federal immigration law and asylum/refugee status, since that’s overseen by federal officers. It is possible they could cut off state funding for resettlement *programs* that provide resources for refugees, however. That could be what the governors are referring to.

    • Msmlg1979

      They are pandering. Plain and simple.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Yes! If your ancestors weren’t born here, like all of ours, you aren’t welcome.

  • Tracy

    Here in Illinois, Governor Moneybags has also gotten the vapors. I assume he’ll wait until he figures a way to extract tax money from them.

    http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/politics/ct-bruce-rauner-illinois-syrian-refugees-suspended-met-1117-20151116-story.html

    • Yeah this is shameful.
      Maybe mayor Rahm will executive mayoral order a countermand. Or well actually we’re a sancuary city aren’t we? This would be sanctuary right?

  • Joshua Norton

    I just hope they make sure to wish them “Merry Christmas” and not the dreaded “Happy Holidays” before they kick them all out.

  • chicken thief

    In the governors defense, it is a slippery slope to taking in the refugees to accepting expanded Medicaid for them and once that happens….. well, the terrorists will have won.

  • chicken thief

    Seems like the military bases should be close to where we house Obama’s new radical MooseLimb friends. So, Governors, if you don’t want the ‘threat’ then you won’t be needing the protection either, will you? How about if we move those bases?

  • Gorillionaire

    Here in NC, Gov McCrory hasn’t belched out a conservative freak out yet, but he is staying away from cameras right now because the FBI may be looking into his “pay to play” scandal.

  • OneYieldRegular

    “I will not stand complicit to a policy that places the citizens of Alabama in harm’s way”

    Um – by encouraging fear and bigotry, you just did.

    • Thaumaturgist

      Sat all you want about Alabama. But Alabama has traditions to respect. And protect.

  • thewitchqueen74

    I’m surprised Fucknut-elect Matt Bevin hasn’t said that Kentucky will close its borders yet….I’m expecting it.

    • Relativicus

      I don’t think he’s quite governor yet.

      • thewitchqueen74

        Oh, he’s not, but he’s already saying he’s gonna do this and that, so I won’t be surprised if he weighs in on this too.

  • fawkedifiknow

    I predict the 5 minute Presidential candidate from Wisconsin will not only announce he has shit his pants, too, but that he did it first.

  • GDleftyPart2

    Add Arizona to the list of freak outs….Ducey is on the bandwagon…

  • YayConspiracy

    For all their tough talking of how we should not let the terrorists win, they sure cave in like a snowman on a summer day.

    • GDleftyPart2

      I had some asshat over the weekend say that fear was the most powerful weapon there is…as he was shitting himself over terror attacks thousands of miles away….these guys can’t wait to shoot someone…anyone.

  • Blackest Noobs

    is it any surprise those who make aLOT of tough guy talking are usually the weakest,most cowardly among us…and i’m talking about the little assholes who LOVE to carry their guns everywhere.

    every time i see another asshole open carry, i think, ah, you’re a pussy.

    • sosuume

      Man, they’re scared shitless about EVERYTHING. But mostly worried somebody might find out about their small little dicks.

  • Swampay

    For some reason I am finding my beloved wonkette depressing instead of amusingly snarky this morning. May I present you with this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1F0lBnsnkE – Uptown Funk mashed up with golden age hollywood dance scenes

    • arrrghle

      thank you.

    • Elizabeth

      Deeply appreciate it.

    • Doug Langley

      Thanks.

    • calliecallie

      Absolutely spectacular! Thank you!

    • Arnnmann

      Jesus, some of us Yanks can dance. Who knew?

    • thenearesthippie

      Oh yeah. That’s the stuff.

    • Vecciojohn

      Hot hot HOT!!

    • riledupone

      Great stuff. Thanks, Swampay.

  • btwbfdimho

    So we bomb their countries almost on a daily basis (Irak, Afghanistan, Yemen, Syria, Pakistan, Libya) but we cannot take refugees??? Oh, no wonder Americans and American foreign policy are so loved overseas…

    • Paperless Tiger

      Love me, love my death squad.

  • GDleftyPart2

    What’s this huddled masses yearning to be free crap?
    ‘Merica!!111!1!111!!!

  • data_ninja

    Gov. Kasich of Ohio has hopped on the pants-shitting bandwagon. So much for his “reasonable” approach. I guess he wants better polls too, before he ends up at the kids table next debate.

    It was only a matter of time.

    • Bitter Scribe

      I really don’t get why he’s supposed to be the “sane” or “reasonable” or “moderate” one.

      • data_ninja

        I would say that he isn’t a reasonable person, but rather that he plays one on TV. In particular, during the GOP debates.

        Of course, him being “reasonable” is only by contrast. The kid eating paste is reasonable compared to the other kid that’s eating paint chips off of the wall. They’re both still morons.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Here in Ohio, people call him Cocksuck.

          • data_ninja

            As a fellow Ohioan, I have not heard that one yet, but I am totes writing it down for future use!

  • Elizabeth

    And add Paul LePage of Maine, big shock there.

    • eddi

      What took him so long. Hiding in the Gov’s Washroom?

  • Mintie

    I was already annoyed that we’d only pledged to accept 10,000 refugees, compared to Germany’s 1 million, when the US is so much bigger. This is just adding fuel to the fire.

  • cmd

    And, my state of Florida, also, too, and no surprise.

  • whitroth

    Wait a minute: I thought the mastermind, at least, was Belgian. Shouldn’t they be wanting to keep Belgians out of their states?

    So now it’s clear: right-wing states == States of Cowardice.

    mark “they are *not* red; I am”

    • doktorzoom

      Not so much red states as yellow.

  • Billy Croissant

    Jesus, nobody reads the classics anymore. Hey Daesh:

    “If an injury has to be done to a man it should be so severe that his vengeance need not be feared.” Machiavelli, The Prince

    And let’s not forget the fearful conservative base:

    “Men are so simple of mind, and so much dominated by their immediate needs, that a deceitful man will always find plenty who are ready to be
    deceived.” Machiavelli

    Two groups, so similarly chained to their beliefs, so easily manipulated, so frightened of change.

  • nmmagyar

    Fuck it, NM was one of the few states to accept Vietnamese refugees, we have a fairly large Cuban population (but NO decent Cuban food, WTF is up with that?), and our bases are secured up the wazoo already. We’ll take ’em, and there will hardly be any climatic acclimation – our state is a fucking barren moonscape – so they’ll feel right at home.

    • ohmydog

      Are you forgetting about our republican governor, Susana la Tejana?

      • nmmagyar

        She has been extremely quite lately. The investigations must be getting close.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Another monumental “regime change” fuckup. How many times does this strategy have to blow up in our face before we quit doing it?

    • willi0000000

      ∞+1

    • riledupone

      AOT,K

  • doktorzoom

    I’ll probably toss this into tomorrow’s roundup of the continuing freakout, but it seems worth mentioning more than once:

    https://twitter.com/BFriedmanDC/status/666081093678972932

    • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

      Acts of mercy are for pussies!

    • TheBidenator

      Pfft like anyone cares what that hippy has to say, we’re talking ‘Murican Jesus here, you take Rambo and stick Jesus face over Stallone’s and one part of the trinity is born….also Jesus wasn’t brown so there.

      • Vecciojohn

        Oh, next you’ll say Santa isn’t white.

      • riledupone

        Like this guy-

    • Arnnmann

      Yeah, Jesus rocks. It’s those damned Christians that provoke my skepticism.

      • proudgrampa

        “I like your Christ, but I do not like your Christians.” — Gandhi (I think)

        • Jena-Auerstedt

          Or maybe it was Mary Magdalene

    • Alex Grey

      HO Dar YOo QUooTE thE BiblE iT “REAL CHRISTIANS™”!?!?!!!?!??!?111?!?one!1??!?!1

    • lroom

      That is awesome

  • Roni Raven

    What, does Mary Fallin have the flu or something?

    • This made me laugh out loud.

  • duckshoe

    What legal basis does a state governor have for telling the federal government who they can allow in? How does said goobernator block the movement of refugees to his state, once they’ve been permitted to enter the country? Or are we (smacks cheeks) grandstanding?

    • Roni Raven

      They’ll all start building YOOOOOOGE walls around their states.

    • States have no legal authority to stop refugees. They’re making a big fucking show out of this, but they have no chance in hell of winning.

  • Hardly Ideal

    But remember, it’s the French who freak out and surrender in record time.

  • Pantywaists better think about executive ordering Belgians while they’re at it.

    • iGrover

      “executive ordering” Belgian waffles?

      • proudgrampa

        Yes, I’ll have some. Maple syrup, please. And a cup of coffee.

    • Does the “International” House of Pancakes serve Belgian waffles? Because if so, that’s pretty suspicious. Raid the IHOPs for secret Belgians!

  • Ducksworthy

    More evidence that the Republican party is firmly aligned with its fellow theocrats in the middle east.

  • Apple Scruff

    Interesting that all of these states are the least likely to be targeted by terrorists. More vulnerable places like New York or California are not on this list.

    Additionally, at least two of the terrorists were from the EU. So we going to block all Europeans from entering the US, too?

  • freakishlystrong

    Do these fools not see what’the dealio? This is exactly what D’eash wants them to do. They’re literally siding with the terrists. Fucking idiits.

    • Idiots? Not at all. The wingnuts and Daesh want exactly the same thing – a race/civilisation war. Both sides are sure they’ll win – or else, they don’t care if they win because they’ll be in Paradise either way.

  • Debra Dassow

    Wisconsin Governor Scott Molotov Walker joined the GOP crowd, surprising since he isn’t afraid of ISIS because he took on 100,000 elementary school teacher protesters back in 2011.

  • Mr Sincere

    All this is reminiscent of one of the most shameful episodes in our history: the internment of Japanese-Americans during WWII. Same fear-inspired reasoning.

    • willi0000000

      seems more like The Trail of Tears.

      • doktorzoom

        Sadly, what it’s almost exactly like is the Saint Louis debacle, aka the “Voyage of the Damned.”

        Or Sen. Robert Taft’s explanation to a Jewish War Veterans group of why the U.S. simply couldn’t bring in 20,000 Jewish children in 1939 (click to embiggen):

        https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CT9-xj7XIAQqVbD.jpg

  • Msmlg1979

    Just emailed my disgusting governor, Pat McCrory. I’m sure he’ll never see it, but I feel a little less like punching things.

    • Metadude

      Email Margaret Spellings also too!

    • Celtic_Gnome

      I sent an actual snail mail letter to one of my senators (Rob Portman) about signing that stupid Iran nuclear deal letter, and he put my email address on his fucking newsletter list.

  • janecita

    I said that we take in thousands of refugees and send them all to live with the Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rice, Obama, Clinton families. They are all responsible (some more than others) for this clusterfuck anyway.

    • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

      Ugh, you’d inflict more trauma on these poor refugees? Just expropriate the equivilant of forty-acres-&-a-mule per Syrian/Iraqi/Afgani refugee family from them.

    • Lynn A Myers

      Disagree regarding Clintons and Obamas being responsible for this mess.

      • janecita

        So, you really think that our policies in Israel, Yemen, Egypt, Libya have nothing to do with this? What about our drone attacks? Our arming of the “rebels”? The fact is that we are helping Saudi Arabia fight a proxy war against Iran? We might be Democrats, but that shouldn’t make us blind to the neocon policies of a lot of people in our party. Dumbledore said it best “It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but a great deal more, to stand up to your friends”.

  • Walter Wellstone

    Bush’s ranch in Crawford, TX would the ideal place for them.

    • willi0000000

      has he even seen the place since the last brush-cutting/watch-this-drive/photo-op?

    • riledupone

      They could clear brush for their keep.

  • Do you think we could make a deal with Assad where we’ll take in one refugee from Syria for every Christian fundamentalist they’ll take away from us? It seems like a win-win – the Syrians are fleeing religious extremism, and our fundamentalists *love* religious extremism, so everyone should be happier!

  • Scot

    Didn’t I read an article saying that Domestic terrorism has caused more deaths than ISIL, since it’s inception in one year? Not to mention our policing problem?

  • Cheesus Crust

    I think you can add my backward ass, gun-totin, idiot, hillybilly pieces of shit former home state of Georgia to that last.

  • ChicagoLovesYou
  • Beaumarchais?

    What are we afraid of Syrian refugees doing to us? Shooting up a cinema, a shopping mall, or a school? WE LET THAT SHIT HAPPEN EVERY SINGLE WEEK. We don’t bat an eye—almost no Americans can remember the last five, let alone all that have happened this year.

    I say we let in 500,000 refugees. If five or ten go bad, they might kill a total of several hundred people. That’s small change, compared to the EXACT SAME CARNAGE we write off as the cost of our fucking Second Amendment.

    In exchange, we’ll get some remarkably well-educated people who will be truly grateful to be released from hell and will be superb citizens. Our lives are obviously cheap—this sounds like a bargain.

    • Blackest Noobs

      preach Brother PREACH!!!!

    • willi0000000

      i wish i had read your comment (comment? what comment?) before sending mine to charlie baker (gov. MA(R-Chickenshit)) you are much more eloquent than i, especially when i’m as angry as i am now . . . fuck it, maybe i’ll send him another.

      • Beaumarchais?

        Huh! I got so mad writing him just an hour ago that I trashed it. I’m going to try again tomorrow. It was shameless pandering and he needs to know it.

        • willi0000000

          yeah . . . he gets another one from me tomorrow too.

    • Wow you didn’t just “win” the internet, you “pwned” it! (That what the youny whippersnappers of the day say, right?) So much so, I’m going to asking it I can use this quote for my blog (I’ll give you the trademark and everything, of course.)

    • SpideySenser

      I love you, man!

  • emmelemm

    Washington State’ll take ’em: http://www.king5.com/story/news/local/2015/11/16/inslee-says-washington-state-continue-welcome-refugees/75882946/

    Good on Gov. Inslee, but I’m sure this will not endear him to the non-enlightened corners of my beloved state.

    • ChicagoLovesYou

      Gov. Hickenlooper too is not being a prick inviting Jihad into Colorado:
      http://www.denverpost.com/news/ci_29124860/colorado-will-accept-syrian-refugees-hickenlooper-says
      Also, Gov. Brown in CA.
      So it appears the Western states seem to be a little less derpy than the rest of us right now.

    • Spotts1701

      Heller and the local wingers are putting pressure on Governor Sandoval to bar them. So far he’s stayed quiet, but since he’s currently dealing with a rebellious AG and a right flank in full revolt I wouldn’t be surprised if he DNGAF about what they want.

  • Thomas McCabe

    No one man can terrorize a whole nation unless we are all his accomplices. Edward R. Murrow

  • Me not sure

    These people don’t seem o understand that governors don’t have any say so as to who comes into the US. Didn’t they ever read the Constitution?

    • Beaumarchais?

      Well, that one Amendment, but the rest—tl;dnr.

    • ahughes798

      I’m not sure if they’re even allowed to bar people from moving in and out of their state, are they?

      • Me not sure

        The Fourteenth Amendment probably prevents that.

        • bobbert

          Also, Article Six and the Refugee Act of 1980.

      • “But i thought being a Republican meant I didn’t have follow silly little things like “rules” and “laws” or other such “liberally-biased” notions

  • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

    Dear Governors, you are aware of the daily toll that the gun totin’ natural born residents of your States inflict upon each other EVERY DAY? Perhaps you should try to do something about that?

    Yours Truely, Sane People.

  • jangoodell

    There is that story in the Bible wherein Joseph and Mary flee with infant Jesus to Egypt and are turned back . Herod got his way,and that is why Christianity does not exist today. Talk about a war on Christmas….

  • stu elman

    Can we all remember just last year how Gov. Fat Tony of New Jersey knee jerked when the nurse returned from working with Ebola patients and had shown no signs of being infected? Remember how he put her into isolation for a few days just because of what he assumed was going on in his head, and to please his base…? This is this year’s version of that. All the good little Repub. govs want to be the IT girl and ignore all the war-torn refugees.

    • glennisw

      Yeah these assholes sure were right with their judiscious and well-thought out warnings about ebola, weren’t they?

  • Economist2011

    Like George Wallace but worse.

  • willi0000000

    aside from being stupid, chickenshit, bigoted, cowardly, dastardly, chicken-hearted, cowering, craven, fainthearted, gutless, lily-livered, panicky, pusillanimous, spineless, weak, worthless and yellow-bellied . . . these governors sound like the brave patriots i’m sure they think they are.

    for the first time in a long while i am ashamed to be from Massachusetts . . . charlie baker has got to go . . . sooner rather than later.

    [ just sent that ass baker a “nice” missive on his official website . . . so if i disappear… ]

  • dshwa

    Republicans again demonstrating their terrible grasp of strategery. First, they prove ISIL right about us hating Muslims (special bag of rat dicks to Ted Cruz for being so blatant) and that the only way they can get accepted into the world is violence. But second, if there was any violent radicalism starting in the communities the refugees settle in, they’d be far more likely to report it, because they know just how awful life can be with people like that running amok. These idiot asshole governors and candidates are turning away natural allies and informants against the people they’re afraid of in the first place.

    • lroom

      I had not thought of it that way but that makes a whole lot of sense. Too bad these people are too stupid to reason with.

  • Metadude

    For people who just lurrrrve them some Constimatution, they seem amazingly ignorant of what it contains.

  • Rick Hill

    This is an uncertain world. You don’t know if you have a tomorrow, just eating a pretzel can be your end. Massive cardiac arrest, e. coli at the all you can eat church social, you have the same name as the person the terminator comes back to kill…so many ways to die as well as by terrorists. These folks should just look to something to sooth their fears, to ensure their souls go to a better place when the inevitable happens. If only they had the faith, they were part of a religion that guaranteed them life eternal, they wouldn’t be so fearful of dying. Even better if, when they die, they were actually at the side of some deity…a savior if you will. Ah, but I guess that something that promises that much is just a fantasy and these people haven’t enough faith.

    • willi0000000

      i have no faith in a hereafter . . . or ‘saviors’ . . . but i’m not afraid of a few refugees even if one tries to kill me.

      [ when i die, that’s it . . . it’s all over for me . . . no different than before i was born . . . kind of a shame for the rest of you though when the universe ends
      then ]

      • mtn_philosoph

        Imagine your disappointment when, upon dying, you find out that there is no afterlife.

        There is no hereafter, so once we are all dead we’ll see who has the last laugh.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      There is none as fear-filled as a red-blooded All American patriot.

  • Pat Giles

    President Obama ignores current immigration laws, he can ignore this law for the good of the country.

    • willi0000000

      i think i’ve seen your avatar somewhere before . . . doesn’t that tree bear Strange Fruit

  • SadDemInTex

    ……

  • Lady Bug

    1). F### Christie, Huckabee and all of the rest

    2). How the hell did Jeb ever get labeled “the smart one?”

    3). No, seriously? How?!

    4). Do all of these GOPers realize that they are playing right into Daesh’s hands? Daesh has their their own thoughts on those who leave their “state”-newsflash: it isn’t positive. The attackers didn’t single out ethnic French or Christians, they didn’t bomb a church or a LePen rally. They targeted the multi-cultural, multi-religious, multi-racial urban center. Their victims included French of all backgrounds and victims from 20 nationalities. Also have any of these geniuses wonder *why* a (fake) Syrian passport was found at the scene? Could it be that Daesh WANTED people to blame the refugees?

    5). It is already really, really hard for a Syrian national to get asylum in the U.S.: like really hard: http://www.vox.com/explainers/2015/11/16/9745318/syrian-refugees-us-isis

    6). Beyond the fact that it is f*&^ wrong for us to screen out people based on religion, logistically how is that suppose to work? Do we force them to eat bacon? Quiz them on the New Testament?

    7). Thank you wonkette

    • Matt Jones

      “Do all of these GOPers realize that they are playing right into Daesh’s hands? ”

      Of course they do, they’re reading from the same playbook. The GOP one is just the version where you don’t start the public beheadings until *after* everyone is sufficiently hypnotized by religion and/or fear.

    • glennisw

      Thank you wonkette.

      Love you as much as I do, it’s a sad fucking day when a vile, snark-ridden mommy-blog has more integrity than the governors of our states.

    • cmd

      I believe I heard someone on radio this morning say Christie not only said no refugees, but added something like, not even a three-year old child.

      • Lady Bug

        you heard right. Although I believe he actually said he wouldn’t even allow “a three year old ORPHAN” to come to NJ

        • cmd

          You are right, too. I found it in writing later. A radio host asked him what about orphans under the age of 5 and he said no. Wow, they really are trying to out-stupid each other.

      • mtn_philosoph

        Christie was the brilliant quarantiner of the nurse who volunteered during the Ebola crisis too, earning the title of “Governor Overreaction.”

    • mtn_philosoph

      I have been yelling Reason #5). at the TV for two days now. Thanks LB!

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Hey, aren’t these the same people who opposed background checks to buy a gun by people on the terror watch list?

  • Jena-Auerstedt

    If you elect Republicans as your governors, the terr’sts win.

  • mailman27

    This is all about the election. Nothing else. For shame, you ratfuckers.

  • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

    Yeah, because people can’t just walk or drive across state lines, idiots. And just what the hell is worth blowing up in Alabama, anyway?

    • Walter Wellstone

      That fucking Ten Commandments monument Roy Moore had installed in front of some courthouse somewhere. That looks like a nice target.

      • mrmiller

        I think someone already drove a truck through it.

  • Jena-Auerstedt

    I am all in favor of imposing the most restrictive immigration policies imaginable — if we begin by shipping Ted Cruz back to wherever it was that he came from and revoking his non-natural born citizenship. Or better still — just abandon him in the Sonora Desert with a 20 oz. bottle of water, a compass, and a map of downtown Pyongyang.

  • freemdoom

    You know those refugees just want to go in our ladies restrooms and watch girls tinkle.

  • The frustratingly bizarre thing about this is that these right-wing trolls are doing this all to be in “solidarity” with a group of people they refered to as Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkeys not to long ago. It’s reminscent of the vibe surronding The Day That Changed Everything where asswipes where proclaming how much they “loved” Ney York, a city they were disparaging as “a haven of liberal elitist pussies” on September 10th. (Of course, since the city didn’t roll over for Right-wing” fear mongering like they were “supposed” to, the city is right back to “pussy” status again.)

  • Can I volunteer my state to take in refugees before my stupid governor jumps in? I mean, if they’re willing to come to a state full of bed bugs and Florida Men and Responsible Gun Owners that’s run by Lord Voldemort, that is. I wouldn’t blame them if they weren’t interested, come to think of it. But we’ve got… I dunno, Disney? Warm weather? Fuck it, I’m here, and I’m cool. I don’t see my state on the list up there and I want to be in a non-asshole state for once. Come to Florida, refugees.

    • Lord-Nash

      You forgot cable TV. That’s really why they’re coming here.

    • I’m here in Baltimore, and I’d take in some refugees. The occasional gunshots would probably make them feel at home. But the Inner Harbor is cool, and we’ve got John Waters.

      • glennisw

        I think some refugees might have second thoughts about coming to America. It’s pretty deadly here. We have more mass shooting events here than anywhere else in the world.

        • William_C_Diaz

          Thats not true, but we are near the top in the ‘civilized’ world at least.

          Have a great day!

    • cmd
      • Ugh. I happily will trade Rick Scott and George Zimmerman for all the Syrian refugees they want to send. I’ll throw in Jeb and Marco Rubio too. I’m not sure whose vetting process those jokers would pass, but whoever wants them can have them, and we’ll take the refugees. I’m positive that would make this a nicer place to be.

        • cmd

          Huckabee has a house in Florida as well, so we can make him part of the trade, also, too.

          • Cool! He wants to live in a theocracy anyway. Send him to one and make some room for folks who actually want freedom.

  • Paperless Tiger

    The Syrian government has announced that a million Syrian refugees have already returned to their homes in Syria as the Syria/Russia alliance continues to liberate their areas from the insurgents.

  • Lord-Nash

    Well, here’s something that will look good here, and even better on your racist uncles’ MyFace wall…the executive branch sets the policy for refugees due to a 35 year old act of Congress, and the states don’t get to override that.
    http://thinkprogress.org/justice/2015/11/16/3722628/no-state-governors-cant-refuse-to-accept-syrian-refugees/

    And from the same article (in case anyone is still hooked on the idea that we play fast and loose with our refugee/foreign policy) Justice Kennedy’s opinion on the matter:

    Moreover, the Court explained, America could suffer severe foreign policy consequences if the executive does not enjoy broad discretion over immigration matters. “The dynamic nature of relations with other countries,” Justice Anthony Kennedy explained in his opinion for the Court in Arizona, “requires the Executive Branch to ensure that enforcement policies are consistent with this Nation’s foreign policy with respect to these and other realities.”

  • BeliTsari
  • glennisw

    I really don’t understand this. I mean, the American people have, for decades, tolerated – no, ENABLED – alienated young men who hoard guns and harbor irrational hatred against innocent members of the public. We’ve stood by helplessly while heavily armed men who despise civil society go out into the public square and start randomly killing strangers, without any warning. We refuse to enact any legislation that will stop it.

    Why are they so frightened of it now? We’ve been experiencing terror attacks, in the form of mass shootings, at the rate of 200+ a year!

    And now, suddenly, our lawmakers are taking action by trying to bar from our shores innocent people who are fleeing from the same kind of killers?

    WTF?

    • clubseal

      While we outsource nearly everything else, America will always be a giant in the hypocrisy industry.

  • glennisw

    These are the same nutcases that decided we need to close our borders against the threat of Central American children infecting us with African ebola. They have some real credibility, there.

  • Ryan Denniston

    “I will not place Alabamians at even the slightest, possible risk of an attack on our people.”

    So it’s perfectly okay to die of cigarettes, motor vehicles, and guns? And Governor, you do realize that a refugee once living in the US can travel around the country right? This isn’t Soviet Russia after all.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      They die of ignorance and stupidity every day in Alabama. Apologies to any Wonkettes who live there.

    • BeliTsari

      You forgot cops? Bigots? Christians? Lynching? http://fusion.net/story/233279/1961-paris-massacre/

    • William_C_Diaz

      The biggest human killers in the US are doctors actually. Medical malpractice deaths in US hospitals are between 200-400,000 each year, so if ISIL wants to sent people here to murder Americans without being detected or convicted, they should send them to med school first.

      Have a great day!

  • Jason M

    Not being wanted in those shitty states is the best thing to happen to these refugees, yet. Maybe they’ll wind up somewhere where the greatest aspiration isn’t winning the Lotto.

    • CLAUDIA LAJOIE

      Go ahead adopt a refugee family into your home and feel safe!

      • Jason M

        So that’s it? Either or? If I don’t personally take them in (I’m not even in the states atm), I shouldn’t expect my country that I vote and pay taxes in to welcome them, and find them suitable housing? Jeez, binary thinking must make life easy for you, congrats.

      • William_C_Diaz

        You are A IDIOT.

        Have a great day!

  • pending

    In regards to Illinois not taking refugees, that shit-heel Rauner’s just trying to do them a favor: since he’s managed to manufacture a budget crisis that stands to bankrupt all the state’s social services, accepting refugees into it would be downright irresponsible.

  • kaydenpat

    Sad to see a Democratic Governor joining the Paranoiacs. Oh well.

    • CLAUDIA LAJOIE

      GO ahead and take a Refugee family into your home

  • clubseal

    And of all this with these governors having either complete ignorance of, or worse, a lack of care about the fact that the U.S. was part of the problem in Syria, adding fuel to the fire by arming people we knew little about, except that they allegedly hated Assad.
    With the civil war worse, ISIS established and nowhere for these people to go, magically our history in the region is a complete mystery.

    • CLAUDIA LAJOIE

      We can’t change mistakes made in the past but presently we can do whatever we have to do make our states and its people safe. We have to do whatever is necessary so why don’t you take one of these families into your home and if and when ISIS gets closer see whose side they take.

      • clubseal

        Better that than a pants pissing coward like you, whose strategy of “look forward, not back” is exactly why the west will never overcome terrorism.

      • Paul B

        Turn around Claudia. ISIS is right behind you! Boo!

      • William_C_Diaz

        I agree, we should do what we cant to make the US and its people more safe. Therefore, in an attempt to cut down on the more than 30,000 gun deaths in the US, a comprehensive system of gun registration, insurance and licensure, to keep guns out of the hands of the mentally ill, to be able to track the provenance of all firearms to identify straw purchasers and illegal gun merchants and most of all to prevent guns from getting into the hands of felons who have lost their right of gun ownership.

        So you are down with that, right?

        Have a great day!

  • chimichanga

    These fucking pussy-ass ammosexuals have all the guns they need, an average of seven apiece. Can’t they protect themselves? I have never heard such bullshit and I’m sick and motherfucking tired of the knee-jerk, pile-on reaction without ANY forethought. The behavior is that of a cranky pre-teen or a petulant teenager fuck-fuck-fuck-fucketty- fuck-fuck. Thanks for listening to my hyphenated rant. Bye. Gotta dash…

    • Mysterian

      What a cry baby. Your crack-itch bothering you bad is it?

  • undercover epicurean

    “We have nothing to fear except…oh shit, everything is scary!” – FDR 2015 version

  • CLAUDIA LAJOIE

    HOW dare you imply the states refusing Syrian immigrants are cowards? Who raised you, aren’t you Americans!!!!? Go ahead put as many of these killers YOU can in your home! Do you really believe when ISIS itself trys to destroy your home that these immigrants living in your home will be on your side?

    • Paul B

      I think four exclamation points followed by a question mark is the universal sign of great satire, and I’m going to use that from now on. Who do these refugees think they are expecting compassion!!!!?

    • kaydenpat

      You asked if I had any Syrian refugees in my house. If you have any intelligence, you’d know that that is now the refugee resettlement program works.

      And no one here cares about your bigoted rants. Go to Stormfront with your panty wetting hysteria. I’m not afraid of refugees but I am terrified of White racists like you.
      Shoo now.

    • William_C_Diaz

      Not only are you A IDIOT, but you can do math. It turns out that veterans (like me for instance) commit far more murders and crimes in the US than refugees do. On top of that, we are admitting the pitiful handful of 10,000 Syrian refugees, so we will still outnumber them 33,000:1 and even Americans scant screw that up.

      As far as ‘inviting them into my home’, I live in the area that resettles more refugees per capita of anyplace in the US (Chittenden Country Vermont) and if I werent a poor, you can bet your bottom dollar I would be more than glad to invite refugees into my home.

      It is sad that so many Americans are ignorant, cowardly America hating morons such as yourself. I look forward to more Syrian immigrants so we can build better Americans than people like you.

      Have a great day!

    • clever_sobriquet

      We’re not fucking implying anything. We are saying it plainly and in no uncertain terms. They are a bunch of yellow bellied cowards unfit to hold the office of governor. And you can eat a bag of extra salty rat dicks.

  • SpaceCaptainWarlock

    When it’s refugees, it’s “fuck those muslims, we need to protect our citizens.” When it’s gun regulations it’s “fuck our citizens, we need to protect the NRA.” Gotcha.

  • Chuck Cap

    Holy shit fuck! Did I land on a refugee-hugging bunch of queers site.

    • William_C_Diaz

      Are you lookin for a date, cupcake? You sure do have a purty mouth!

      Have a great day!

    • doktorzoom

      Troll banned, comment left for amusement purposes

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