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Gender-neutral dumbass
Carly Fiorina tries to smile

Carly Fiorina’s 15 minutes sure went by fast, didn’t they? One minute she was nobody, the next minute she was that pathological liar who’d spouted a whole bunch of demonstrably untrue horsecrap about Planned Parenthood during the Republican debate she’d whined her way into, and the minute after that she was … well, back to hovering right around nobody territory again.

Fiorina, who has repeatedly denounced feminism as a mere leftist political gimmick, opposed every single program and piece of legislation that benefits women, and has insisted that unlike Hillary Clinton, she won’t play the gender card or claim her vagina is a qualification. She even had the titanium ovaries to blame Donald Trump’s attack on her face on Democrats, with an ad — “Ladies, note to Democrat Party” — and everything.

So on Sunday, Carly Fiorina seized the generous opportunity provided to her by “Fox News Sunday” host John Roberts to gender-neutrally bitch and whine about how she’s the only woman who has ever experienced sexism, or something.

Oh, and TRIGGER WARNING for Roberts saying words that are so damned stupid, you will want to stab yourself in the ear with a screwdriver:

ROBERTS: Is there a double standard here, Ms. Fiorina, for Republican women? I can’t imagine that they would say things like that about Hillary Clinton.

You don’t even have to know what the “things like that” are that would never be said about Hillary Clinton, to know that this a whopping crock. Because, FACT, there is nothing people — from Joe Scarborough to Mike Huckabee to the New York Times — wouldn’t say about Hillary Clinton: her cankles, her laugh, her cleavage, her infrequent sex life with her husband, her husband’s sex life with an intern, her secret sex life with her aide Huma, her hideous face, her bad haircuts, her stupid headbands, her OMG EMAILS!!!!, her murder of Vince Foster and god only knows who else, and ugh, those pantsuits.

Just to name a few examples off the top of our pretty little lady head.

Anyway, Fox News dude Roberts has never watched his own cable network and is unaware of the endless list of adjectives used to describe Clinton, on the regular. But the ladies of “The View” chuckled and said Fiorina’s face looked “demented” during the recent Republican debate, when Fiorina tried to smile, which happens to be true, as you can see from the awkward moment we captured for you, above. And yes, if any dude on the stage had said he was going to try to smile more, and then smiled all awkward like that, we’d make fun of him too.

But Carly, who definitely does not want this election to be about playing the vag card, no sirree, wasn’t about to pass up this opportunity:

FIORINA: Yeah. I think there’s a double standard. It’s funny, you know. I was on “The View” several months ago. They said none of that to my face.

There is nothing more threatening to the liberal media in general, and to Hillary Clinton in particular, than a conservative woman. So of course there’s a double standard. And conservative women — from Sarah Palin to to Michele Bachmann to Carly Fiorina — are long used to this.

We must applaud Fiorina for her unwavering laser-focused devotion to pinning any criticism of her onto Hillary Clinton, even though Hillary never says her name and, we’re guessing, doesn’t give two scissoring fucks about Fiorina.

We must also point and laugh hysterically at Fiorina for her historical ignorance. (Newsflash: Sarah Palin was not the first conservative lady to aim for high office). Although when Elizabeth Dole briefly ran for president in the 2000 Republican primary, Carly Fiorina had just been appointed CEO of Hewlett-Packard, so she was probably far too busy plotting its destruction to pay attention to politics. Heck, she was too busy to even bother voting in most elections. Politics didn’t really interest her until after she’d been fired and had nothing better to do.

We must now snarkily snicker at Fiorina claiming she’s insulted by anyone who criticizes her, um, less than feministical ideology:

And frankly, I am tired of being insulted by liberal feminists who talk about women’s issues when the reality is every issue is a woman’s issue.

Good thing Fiorina’s here to ladysplain “the reality” that none of us dumb liberal feminists have understood and repeated a trillion times, since at least 1995, when — oh, look who it is — Hillary Clinton declared “that human rights are women’s rights and women’s rights are human rights.” It certainly wouldn’t have occurred to us otherwise that every issue is a woman’s issue.

And, in conclusion, we must cattily remind you of that time Carly did a sexism to Democratic Sen. Barbara Boxer, when she thought no one could hear her:

FIORINA: God, what is that hair? Soooo yesterday.

But Fiorina probably only made that offhanded sexism about her Democratic lady opponent because of how threatened Fiorina was. As well she should have been, given that she lost that race by double digits. But eh, that’s probably just because of how sexist Californians are against women politicians.

[Crooks & Liars]

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  • Nounverb911

    “Carly Fiorina Wants To Know Why She’s The Only Chick Who Gets Sexismed”
    Because she’s the only woman running that hates women?

  • Nounverb911

    “Fox News Sunday” host John Roberts
    How long has the Chief Justice been working for Fox News?

    • Angry_Cop

      His entire career, in a sense.

  • cheetojeebus

    Get busy, Avocado, bacon and lettuce on toast (wink)

    • bookish

      Sammich?

  • Toomush_Infer

    That is some level of lady butthurt right there…special Republican Women tighty–tight unwashed butthurt…

  • Lefty Frizzell

    I’ve lost count of the number of things that are threatening to the liberal media – maybe that’s why we don’t have any?

  • FauxAntocles

    I’m thinking that not mentioning Elizabeth Dole was intentional: Elizabeth Dole was actually qualified to be president (political views aside).

    • Lizzietish81

      She was a Rino.

  • ArgieBargie

    “She’s The Only Chick Who Gets Sexismed.”

    Not sure what that means, but thanks, but no, thanks.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    Cruella can haz be President now?

  • JohnR

    Shit said about Hillary. Sex with Vince Foster and probably had him killed as proved by some nut shooting holes in watermelons. Lesbian Hillary involved with Janet Reno. Lesbian Hillary involved with Huma. Hillary is to Carly as 9/11 is to Giuliani.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …I’ve worked in my field for almost 14 years now and I have had a lot of bosses. Some of them have been very good and a lot have been very bad. Coincidentally my very best boss and worst boss have both been women even though my field is probably 90-95% male dominated. Carly Fiorina reminds me of the WORST boss I’ve ever had. She has every quality that would make subordinates hate her:

    Worst Boss:
    She was brand new to her position and the profession and was insecure with her own ability. But instead of admitting her lack of knowledge and asking someone to to teach her, she instead spent all of her time pointing out each and every minuscule fault in her subordinates work habits. If she was ever asked a question that she didn’t know the answer to, she took it as an attempt to undermine her authority and make her look bad. If you ever corrected her in public when she made a mistake, be prepared for category 5 shit storm during your next weekly touch base. She often resorted to “gotcha” questions in meetings as way to “put you in your place” and solidify her authority.

    Best Boss:
    Fairly new to the profession and new to the company. Whenever she didn’t know the answer to a question she immediately admitted it and call you back with an answer to the question. Realized that all her subordinates have been doing this for years and didn’t need to be micro managed. Despite not having much experience she was very comfortable and secure in her position. I was never afraid to offer a correction when she made a mistake and she often thank me after meetings for catching the error. She was direct, stern and too the point but she was fair. I can name more than few occasions where I put my neck on the line to cover her ass when she screwed up and she did the same for her people too.

    To be honest I don’t know how anyone would want to work for someone like Carly Fiorina

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Judging from the reaction when she was fired at HP, nobody did.

    • deanbooth

      Your last sentence is a quote from the HP severance letter, to make people feel better about being fired.

  • CarolinaStewPie

    I imagine Carly’s vag as a cartoon Dante’s Inferno/Halloween Horrorshow with BLOOD RED tumbleweeds that come to life as scary penis eating clown creatures…

  • Apple Scruff

    Carlykins was also on with Martha Raddatz on Sunday and she wouldn’t answer questions, just spewing her overly-rehearsed rhetoric and tried to bulldoze the interview. Martha deserves a gold star for that because she really looked like she wanted to cut a bitch.

    • SterWonk

      You avatar is made of win. :-)

  • Jeamonn

    There is nothing more threatening to the liberal media in general, and to Hillary Clinton in particular, than a conservative woman.

    Conservative woman, stay away from me

    Conservative woman, momma, let me be
    Don’t come hanging round my Planned Parenthood door
    Don’t want to see your demented face no more
    Got more important things to do than grow old fact checkin’ you
    Now woman, I said stay away,
    Conservative woman, listen what I say

    • Msgr_Moment

      I loved Michele Bachmann’s guitar hook on that song.

  • cousin itt

    Geraldine Ferraro and Shirley Chisholm, also too.

    • Callyson

      Pat Schroeder briefly as well.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Shirley Chisholm was the greatest. Now that’s someone whose ghost I’d vote for.

  • drbloor

    “two scissoring fucks about Fiorina”

    Note to editors: the words “scissoring” and “Fiorina” should NEVER appear in close proximity to one another.

    Now if you’ll excuse me, there’s a bottle of brain bleach waiting for me…

  • Spotts1701

    “I’m not going to play the gender card. I’m just going to tell you all the things I would say if I were going to play that card. Which I’m not.”
    That’s not quite how it works, Carly.

    • SterWonk

      Have you seen anything Donald Trump has said these past few months?

    • Jeamonn

      I’m not going to call you a fuck face, I’m just going to use the term fuck face while talking to you.

    • jmk

      The offspring once blurted “son of a BITCH” in front of me, and when scolded, assured me that he didn’t say that…he just pretended to say that.

      Didn’t work for him…doesn’t work for Carly.

  • Thaumaturgist

    Suppose? I’m projecting again I admit it. But is there anything more threatening to conservative ladies then Hilary Clinton?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      There’s certainly nothing more threatening to conservative men! The poor dears haven’t yet gotten over having a black president, and now they’re looking at eight years of a female Demoncrat.
      I’m buying clutchable pearl futures.

  • PubOption

    Never mind the hair, the face is much more yesterday.

  • dslindc

    Needs more demon sheep.

    • Nounverb911

      ..

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Cerbaaarus!

  • LarryHoudini

    Those cankle lesbo murderer comments were merely lighthearted stabs at humor. But the fugly face botox jokes—you have crossed a serious line, no matter HOW true.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    Does Carly think that any media outlet at all has treated Michelle Obama unfairly or in a sexist way I wonder? You would think that any liberal media worth it’s name would ask that question. Or is that a “gotcha” question? I’m not sure how this works any more.

    • Angry_Cop

      I’d actually say that the First Lady has not gotten a lot of sexist crap thrown her way, because her detractors have been far too busy throwing mountains of racist shit her way.

      • jmk

        It’s a tomato/tomahto thing.

  • marxalot

    Hangon, I left my phrasebook at home. Can someone confirm for me? Is this an appropriate time to use “bitches be trippin’?”

  • AntiDerpomeme

    I think, as a woman leftist feminist, it’s OK for me to call Fireana an odious skank, which has nothing to do with her looks, and everything to do with her deceitful and immoral personality. She’s wretched, vag or no vag.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    Dear Carly,

    Due to your unfortunate work history, Fox News probably won’t even hire you, and they hired Mike Huckabee and even Hired/Fired Sarah Palin.

    But you can be President of…. maybe your own group on Meetup.com, but you need to change the way you interact with others to make a real go of it.

    • AntiDerpomeme

      And although the RWNJ’s would never insult a woman for her looks or physique, it’s a tad ironic that Carly has neither the face nor the legs for a gig on Faux.

      • DoILookAmused2u ?

        Once a year on Halloween, all she needs is a pointy hat and that “smile:” for a costume.

        • Lizzietish81

          Witch libel!

      • Jeamonn

        Yeah, I have never heard right wingers say Michelle Obama looks like Patrick Ewing, or called Hillary Hildabeast or any of the other shit they think is funny.

        • Lizzietish81

          Moochelle is one I hear a lot.

          • Jeamonn

            Really? That’s fucked up…she is in great shape and I think she is a very attractive woman.

          • Lizzietish81

            It really shows how disconnected from reality they are.

          • eddi

            Skin color still matters to them.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Is it sexist of me to mention that the first Carly pic (above) looks like an extremely constipated Ann Coulter?

    • Jeamonn

      No, because there is nothing sexy about either of them…

  • Lizzietish81

    Didn’t Sarah Palin have this same whinge 8 years ago?

    Basically people asking her “hard questions” was sexism.

    • Jeamonn

      Asking Sarah Palin hard questions is just cruel…not sexist.

      • Lizzietish81

        I think you mean “hilarious”

        • Jeamonn

          well, yes. That too.

      • Doug Langley

        Asking Sarah Palin —— questions is just cruel.

        FIFY.

  • Thaumaturgist

    If someone put me in the same league as Sarah Palin and Mchele Bachman I would move to Oregon and ask for assistance. But that’s it me.

    • Count Awesome

      Don’t forget to refer to yourself in the third person after you get to Oregon.

    • Seriously. That’s the company Carly wants to be keeping?

      • Whale Chowder

        Well, for her it’s a step up.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Carly’s right about one thing: conservative women (of the modern, GOP-flavor of “conservative”) often do freak liberals out. So do conservative blacks. For good reason. There’s a real nails-on-a-chalkboard aspect to listening to someone spew contradictory, self-hating bullshit, resentment, and projection. I see no mystery in this.

    • Callyson

  • Callyson

    There is nothing more threatening to the liberal media in general, and to Hillary Clinton in particular, than a conservative woman

    iCarly, if this were true, your party would include a lot more of them in leadership positions, rather than using them as mouthpieces. Oh, and there might be more women elected to represent your party in CongressYou might want to ask yourself why they aren’t.

    • Lizzietish81

      When Michele was running there was a great article about how she could never win because the people she was appealing to didn’t think women should be in charge.

      Conservative women are a parody of what Conservative men think feminists are like. They all have this “tough” image they project, but fold like Bristol Palin with a wine cooler when told what to do.

      • Admittedly, I didn’t exactly get an A+ on my Women’s Studies final (because reverse sexism, obviously, and not my study habits, but that’s a post for another time), but this idea that the end goal of feminism is “tough” women who fundamentally support and don’t question patriarchal social values and structures is ridiculous. At least, I think that’s some of what I was supposed to say on the final, but, again, the professor was herself overly attached to patriarchal ideas of “evident mastery of the subject matter” and “preparedness for the exam.”

        • marxalot

          I’ve never understood the “tough, independent woman who holds all her husband’s opinions and supports the structures which oppress her without demanding redress” trope. Is it a sex thing? It seems like a sex thing.

          • Well, when you put it that way, I can see how it could be kinda hawt. The problem is that I don’t think they negotiate a safe word first and thus have no way out of their role play.

          • marxalot

            Yeah, no one ever bothered to explain “Safe, Sane, Consensual” to these twerps. Or maybe it killed their boners or something.

          • eddi

            The term ‘sane’ is difficult to explain to these folks.

  • diogenez

    She smiles just as warmly as Andrea Tantaros.

    • Mickey Donovan

      And the Honey Badger is just as cute and cuddly as a kitten.

  • Joshua Norton

    Of course. Because the only reason anyone could possibly dislike someone as charming and honest as iCarly would be because of sexism.

  • Guyzer

    Hillary is a filthy lying criminal scumbag ….. I’m glad she will never be president

    • Lizzietish81

      Admittedly stealing the profile pic of a regular user threw me off for a bit.

      You sir, are no Poe.

      • Guyzer

        what? … I’ve used this avatar for nearly a decade

        • Lizzietish81

          Clearly it’s a huge coincidence.

          • Guyzer

            I guess ….. lots of people have cloned my account through the years

          • Lizzietish81

            It must be because of your wit which is unmatched.

            Surpassed often, but not matched.

          • Guyzer

            LOL

        • MrBlobfish

          Before it was cool

        • r m reddicks

          Would that be in bibble years?

        • MrBlobfish

          31 comments in 10 years? Excelsior!

      • Tansy Geek

        BalderTFlagass is gonna be pissed when he find out.

    • Callyson

      Good morning ShyPixel–we might have fun with this troll for a while, but I’d suggest keeping an eye on this one.

      Also, a little gif just for you, Guyzer:

    • elviouslyqueer

      Donald Trump? That you?

      • MrBlobfish

        He’ll look into that.

    • Spotts1701

      Oh, you’re a feisty one aren’t ya?

    • Jeamonn

      I’m glad that you’re glad, but lets just assume she will be and that you are simply deranged. I recommend you find a building you are partial to so you can jump off of it in November 2016.

    • SnarkOff

      LOL, your mastery of irony is a beautiful thing.

    • SnarkTank

      Hillary is a filthy lying criminal scumbag
      .
      Even if this were true (it’s not), this makes her different from every Republican candidate….how, exactly?

  • Joshua Norton

    Nope. Absolutely no reason to badmouth Miz Carly.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Um, Carly? Since you’re so concerned about sexism, you might also want to ask your fellow GOP candidate peeps why they all think their wives should shut up and stay at home taking care of the kids.

  • Her face looks like she’s wearing a permanent halloween mask. Botox Abuser

    • SnarkOff

      But, seriously, let’s all knock it off with the personal attacks on the candidates’ appearance, people. There is plenty to criticize about them without resorting to middle-schooler tactics.

      • Toomush_Infer

        Spoilsport…

      • marxalot

        I try to focus on their personalities. Lot more material there. Like this one: Carly’s pathological mendacity is exceeded only by her festering hypocrisy!

      • Angry_Cop

        Like you’ve never said anything about the parastic life form living atop Donald Trump’s head.

        • SnarkOff

          I HAVE NOT. (For real.) :)

  • SnarkOff

    Liberal feminists are the real racists.

    • jmk

      I love that our current A Idiot upfisted you for this.

      • SnarkOff

        Best upfist ever.

  • Guyzer

    More boots on the ground in Syria …. Obama is such a liar

    • Lizzietish81

      If you say Benghazi I’ll have Bingo

      • Guyzer

        what’s that? … oh yeah … that’s the place that Hillary got 4 US diplomats murdered

        • Angry_Cop

          WINGNUT BINGO!

          • SnarkOff

            DRINK!

          • Angry_Cop

            MY LIVER HAS BEEN BENGHAZIED IT’S ONLY 8 IN THE MORNING HERE

        • Callyson
          • Angry_Cop

            It’s very unfair of you to ask that a Republican be held accountable for anything. I’m sure there was possibly a good reason for all those incidents, like:

            1. The President did not care;
            2. The President gave no fucks;
            3. The President was busy choking on a pretzel;
            4. The President was “clearing brush”;
            5. The President signed a bill cutting money for embassy security

            All those are good reasons, amirite?

          • Doug Langley

            I once mentioned that to an uber-conservative and he replied “But they weren’t cover-ups!”

            I’m not making this up, I swear.

        • SnarkTank

          Nononono, you’re doing it wrong! The correct response was “That’s the place HILLARY KILLED 4 diplomats”! Then you bring up the emails, toss in Vince Foster, her lesbian affair with Huma, and finish off with her being the Good Wife when Bill was getting his knob slobbered by Monica. Jeez, do we have to teach you guys EVERYTHING?

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Dumb as a box of hammers.

          At least hammers are useful tools.

        • chicken thief

          She upped her game. Killed Foster with a gun, but slaughtered Stevens and crew with an email server.

        • Playonwords

          Funny how all the enquiries up to this point have cleared her.

          Oh, sorry you’re a troll, facts and evidence are beyond your understanding.

        • JMP

          What was the name of that place where George W. Bush got 3,000 Americans murdered, I think it was World Trade something?

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Hey Guyzer, maybe you can answer a question for me before you get banhammered; I sometimes go to conservative sites and troll, like you are here. However, I am unfailingly polite and good-humored when I do so. But I get name-called anyway and people express little but condescension. Why is that, do you suppose?

    • IronPyrite

      Keep at it, Gayzer. Just a few more posts, and you’ll win that personalized Steven Crowder Splooge Card™ (lamination extra)

    • Playonwords

      And this is relevant – how?

      Obama is a politician, sometimes he says things that are deceptive; what part of politician din’t you understand?

  • Toomush_Infer

    Carly Fiorina is a woman???? Who knew??? Oh, is that how she got to the Big kids debate table?….Huh……

    • Guyzer

      no one ever claimed that liberals were very bright

      • Toomush_Infer

        Um….yes…they have….and…yes we are….however, your ilk are better at namecalling….just not rational debate…

        • Guyzer

          I didn’t call any names you idiot

          • Lizzietish81

            Thou art violently carried away from grace.

          • Callyson

            Hi ShyPixel–I’m pretty sure that calling another commenter an idiot is close to violating the Rules for Radicals.

            BTW, troll, you are wrong when you claim that “no one ever claimed that liberals were very bright. Just plain wrong.

          • r m reddicks

            Now that’s quite clever. I bet you saw what you did there.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            IRONY ALERT!

          • Juan de Fuca

            I didn’t call any names you idiot A Idiot.

            FTFY

        • Lizzietish81

          Lies, they’re terrible at name calling.

      • SnarkOff

        Psst…here’s a secret to take back with you to the Blaze or wherever, once you’re ban hammered: We liberals actually ARE better than you. We are more intelligent, better educated, and even better looking. All of those fears that keep conservatives up at night–like how we liberals are the cool kids who all get together to secretly mock the hell out of you dumb hillbillies–those fears are true.

        • Guyzer

          “educated” …. ha ha ha ha …. there’s no evidence of that

          • Anarchy Pony

            Your troll fu is weak. Toddle on back to world nut daily or whatever shit hole you oozed out of.

          • Jeamonn

            We are real particular about our trolls here.

          • ZangoCrudmonger

            Truly. If they aren’t talking about hot gay sex then they Are. Not. Worth. the Time.

          • SnarkOff

            Brazilian Fart Pr0n

          • elviouslyqueer

            My new Ted Nugent tribute band name LIBEL!

          • SnarkOff

            Blame Shy Pixel. He banhammered all of the good trolls.

          • Lizzietish81

            Wait, I thought education was bad because it’s all liberal propaganda.

          • Mickey Donovan

            The reason you can’t see “evidence of that” is maybe due to a lack of understanding, as in lack of “education”.

          • Logic of Color

            You are a very boring troll. Please try harder.

          • jmk

            This is just textbook bad trolling… I give it a 1.1.

            You won’t rate a reference in Dear Shit Fer Brains unless you up your game, cupcake.

          • SnarkTank

            I gave it a 2.0, but only for the unintentional irony.

        • cmd

          The Libtards! United! Will Never! Be Defeated!

      • Lefty Frizzell

        I do. I claim that liberals are very bright. There you go.

    • Jeamonn

      She got her card pulled once she had her vag weaponized.

    • RoyalUglyDude

      “Ladies first!” -Carly

  • Count Awesome

    This Republican presidential primary is quickly becoming about who can play the ‘victim card’ loudest and most often . I’ve seen toddlers cry less than all of these candidates.

    • shawnthesheep

      This is every GOP candidate for the last 30 years.

    • Ryan Denniston

      And how is this different than any of their other primaries? Look how far we’ve come! Anyone remember “stop lying about my record?” He references it at 2:40.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYe-MvAjxLM

    • jmk

      The amazing part is that they have the crust to whine about how they’re victimized while claiming that librul policies and librul “PC” (which exists only in their minds) are the causes of a “culture of victimhood.”

  • Msgr_Moment

    There is nothing more threatening to the liberal media in general, and to Hillary Clinton in particular, than a conservative woman.

    Once there’s a black lesbian conservative, look out!

    • Lizzietish81
      • Angry_Cop

        World’s worst kept secret.

        • Oh, Condi – you know it gets better, right? There’s a whole bunch of videos on YouTube that would make you feel better about yourself.

          • Guyzer

            why do you keep changing your avatar?

          • chicken thief

            Because FREEDOM!!!1!!

        • Mehmeisterjr

          You mean that her marriage to Dubya was just a front?

          • Angry_Cop

            Not the first time he’s been used as a beard and won’t be the last.

    • Guyzer

      once? …. they’re all over the place

    • marxalot

      Let us open our hymnals, and revisit the Song of Why Condi Rice Will Not Seek Elected Office.
      And that’s not slander, it’s rumor, and well-substantiated at that.

      • Playonwords

        Rice and Bean are more than just vegetables

    • Mr. Fusion

      Does Ted Cruz count as a “black lesbian conservative”?

      • eddi

        Jindal might try it if all else fails.

        • chicken thief

          Or Miss Lindsey with a tan?

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Ted’s making noise about Rubio and not girls. He’s not exactly black, but he ain’t White, so, does that count?

  • MrBlobfish

    Don’t forget Hillary had John John’s plane shot down to clear her way to the Senate.

    • Angry_Cop

      I will find a way to vote for her in every state of the union if that could be proven to be true. Couldn’t stand that fucking guy.

      • RoyalUglyDude

        Dude. That’s a little harsh.

        • Angry_Cop

          I’m a little harsh. And that’s on days when I’m in a good mood. Like today.

        • SpideySenser

          I’m going to go with very harsh.

  • Msgr_Moment

    I love her Day-of-the-Dead getup. Who knew that botox was so versatile?

  • marxalot

    Hey guys! Bear baiting time!

    • Msgr_Moment

      No way, dude. Let them collect their semen samples some other way!

      EDIT: Oh, baiting. NVM.

      • Are you talking about the meal with the happy ending?

  • Ryan Denniston

    Ugh. I made the mistake of listening to the clip. Never again. The party of the entitled and the grievance-burdened if anything. Have none of these people heard of bootstraps? Or are those for the lessers of our country?

  • Ryan Denniston

    I’m surprised no one has tried to pin Chandra Levy’s murder on Hillary. After all, she was a young intern and in an affair with a Democratic Congressperson. Add in a bit of projection, and we have a young intern working her way up the ranks of power, and a threat to Hillary!

    • Lizzietish81

      Fun factoid: My Lord and Savior, Misha Collins, was an intern in the Clinton White House.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQhAgFF3erM

    • SnarkOff

      I’m surprised no one has ever tried to pin 9/11 on Gary Condit and Lizzie “I backed my Escalade into a bunch of losers at a nightclub in the Hamptons” Grubman. The two clearly banded together to bomb the World Trade Center. You notice that after 9/11, the media heat was totally off of both of them. WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!

  • Steven M. Harries

    Here, I’ll be less sexist to iCarly, in 1990s GOP Playbook fashion, and treat her like a legitimate candidate for Murderer-in-Chief :

    Lesbian Carly Fiorina had an affair with Steve Jobs, secretly had him murdered, and this is probably because Jobs was going to expose the various H-P scandals that iCarly was involved in. Bill Gates personally helped iCarly drag Jobs’ body out of H-P’s HQs. Then lesbian mother iCarly murdered her daughter with heroin so her daughter couldn’t implicate iCarly.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      Did dangerous black thug, and fake cancer pill pusher, Ben Carson have anything to do with this murder? It would be dangerous not to speculate that he helped with the rape and murder of Steve Jobs.

  • Mavenmaven

    I guessing the only “biggest nightmare” Hillary might have from Carly is one involving overdoses of Botox.

    • chicken thief

      “What’s that supposed to mean?”*

      ~ Carly

      *only funny if read out loud (but not necessarily loudly) without moving any facial muscles

      • Mavenmaven

        muffled LOL :)

    • Doug Langley

      Or tripping over her in the dark.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    “And frankly, I am tired of being insulted by liberal feminists who talk about women’s issues when the reality is every issue is a woman’s issue.”

    Prostate cancer is a woman’s issue? Please explain further, Carly.

    • r m reddicks

      May depend on your wife/s.o.’s opinion on your saxy thang and all. And your life insurance policy.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Florina seems to think that this mythical monolithic mainstream media criticizes “conservative women” because they’re conservative, and not because they push easy-demolished outright lies (Florina), propound nutty and dangerous conspiracy theories (Bachmann), and murder the English language so heinously that Koko the Gorilla comes off as more articulate (Palin).

    • Sgt. Gym Bunny

      The low-hanging fruit, as it were…

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    • TheBidenator

      So you’re saying it’s because they’re conservative troof tellers….

  • lucidamente

    Carly Fiorina commenting on Barbara Boxer’s looks is like me pointing out that the Royals lost one game in the World Series.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Yeah, those big LOOOOOOOSERS!

    • marxalot

      I must, in the spirit of good sportsmanship, commend the Royals for helping stave off the End of Days by another season, just as I thanked the Mets for standing between us and the jaws of the Beast. I don’t have to be happy about it, but I can be gracious.

  • Joshua Norton

    Actual iCarly quote: “Fact checkers are correct…but this is what the liberal media always does, it attacks the messenger”

  • Doug White

    LOL… someone needs to explain to Fiorina how the “in general” and “in particular” figures of speech were meant to be used.

    The “In general” is supposed to identify a larger, less specific group and then the “in particular” is intended to identify a specific member of that group. What Fiorina basically said was that Hillary Clinton is a member of the liberal media…

    So stupid….

  • Villago Delenda Est

    “Women have been crushed by the Obama economy”

    What color is the sky in your world, Carly? Oh…wait…you can’t see it. Your golden parachute blocks your view of the sky.

    • Angry_Cop

      “Gold. The sky is gold. Everywhere I look: gold.”

  • fawkedifiknow

    Demon boobs says what?

  • 24601

    Wait. She’s a chick?

  • Vienna Woods

    John Roberts was a idiot when he was an MuchMusic veejay here in Canadia back in the 80’s and he has not improved with age.

    • Mr. Fusion

      Do you remember his 12 y/o side kick that would come in after school?

      • Vienna Woods

        Erica Ehm? Jeannie Becker? I don’t mind Erica but I really disliked Jeannie, and still do.

        • Mr. Fusion

          Too long ago to remember their names. It might have been on CHUM-FM.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      First Ted Cruz, now John Roberts? What have we done to you, Canada, that we deserve these poisoned gifts?

      • Mr. Fusion

        One name; Randy Quaid.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          OK, I’ll grant you that one but we took him back, didn’t we?

      • Vegan and Tiara

        They also foisted Justin Bieber and Celine Dion on us. Shakes fist at Canada!!!!!
        At least they’ve given us some of their better comedians to try and make amends.

    • BackDoorMan

      … ah, yes – J.D. Roberts, a smarmy douche-bro even back then. I love it when Faux News told him he had to “lose the initials” because “we’re grown-ups here”, and this poor sack-o-shit believed them. For the right amount of money I’m sure he’d agree to a dance-off with a chicken on a hot plate. Because journamalism.

  • jesuswasablack

    I’d sex her, anyone got a brown paper bag?

    • eddi

      Use two. One over your head in case hers tears.

      • jesuswasablack

        Right, better safe than sorry!

        • Bitter Scribe

          Plus the diminished oxygen will intensify your orgasm.

    • Rasilom

      Man I wouldn’t hit that festering pike of goat shit with someone else’s dick…

  • jesuswasablack

    Ever notice that when stuff comes out of her mouth her head bobbles and rotates, almost like a bobble-head doll? That could come in handy if you know what I mean!!!!

  • eddi

    That smile reminds me of Dana Carvey’s Church Lady. Pure evil.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      I KNEW she reminded me of someone, and I couldn’t think of who it was. CHURCH LADY!!!!!

      • eddi

        Isn’t that special?

  • IronPyrite

    Carley seemed to forgot the plastic surgeon’s last words to her:

    “Oh, don’t try to smile anymore – it will void the warranty.”

  • geoffalnutt

    “Titanium ovaries” is the secret behind HPs “Laser Printer & Dust Bunny Killer. The unit comes in Dusty Strawberry or Pink Princess…for the gal on the go!!!

  • calliecallie

    Carly needs to learn to stop talking so much. Is that sexist of me?

  • dshwa

    Dear Carly,

    If I saw a man who’s attempt to smile reminded me of a death rictus because their face was mostly plastic, I’d make fun of him too.

    Love and air kisses,

    Reality

    • Lefty Frizzell

      Arnold Schwarzenegger libel!

    • MikeyArmstrong

      That’s how I feel when I see Kenny Rogers.

      • dshwa

        I actually met him once, about 15 years ago. Was singing in a community choir that sang the chorus part in his holiday special in Hartford. He was actually very genuine seeming while talking to us for 15 minutes before the show.

  • Comrade Wingtardd 5467p

    It’s kind of a bummer when an extremely distasteful but effective sexist riposte comes so immediately to mind on this comment of hers. I’m letting it go. Seriously, though, she left the goal completely unguarded here.

  • TheBidenator

    If making fun of a face that’s been so botoxed it is completely frozen is sexist well then call me Rush Limbaugh. Also, I should note to our aggrieved wingnut lady Carly that Donald Trump is known around these parts as “apple headed vagina mouth” for similar reasons so STFU and go back to losing, thanks.

  • TheBidenator

    Actually, I’m surprised Carly didn’t somehow turn this into an another lie filled attack against PP and it’s illicit babby parts harvestin’ business while she was at it…clearly losing has affected her poise. She’s just jealous of Cecile Richards for being a GILF…

  • chicken thief

    Carly includes herself with Sarah and One L Michele? Christ woman, have you no shame?!

    • spends2much

      I guess she’s positioning herself for a reality show and time as a Fox News Vagina, once she loses.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        But does she have the legs for Fox?

    • Mary

      RIGHT?!? Yeah, that’s the crowd you wanna associate yourself with ON PURPOSE!

    • Brianna Amoré

      She’s drunk on Republican Kool-Aid. You know, that extra-strong acid laced shit that convinces them that Republicans can do no wrong and can lie with impunity.

      • Squirrel_t_robot

        That Kool-Aid has oil in it. Black gold, you know. Texas tea, say.

  • spends2much

    Fox News’ John Roberts… or as he will always be to Canadians- mullet aficionado VJ JD Roberts.
    Oddly, this gig isn’t on his bio page on Fox’s website…

    • Brianna Amoré

      Wait what? Really??? I *remember* that John Roberts!

      • zanzibar_buckbuck_mcfate

        OMG Much Music. I used to have people (VHS) tape MM and send the clips to me because they did good shows about Neil Young and The Tragically Hip.

      • BackDoorMan

        … and despite decades in “the tee vee bidness”, he hasn’t gotten any better. Worse actually, if that’s even possible.

    • proudgrampa

      Oh, yeah. John Roberts, the “journalist.”

  • JoeChristmas

    She associates with Palin and Bachmann? Or, as Russ would lamely call them: the feminutsies.

    • Mary

      I think that’s “feminazis. ”

  • Bitter Scribe

    From the best Simpsons episode ever:

    “Why are my teeth showing like that?”

    “Because you’re smiling.”

    “Excellent! This is exactly the kind of trickery I’m paying you for.”

  • MrBlobfish

    Also too slick move on her part to say the 95% figure she spewed during the debate was false. Millions heard her during the debate but only about 200,000 was her Sunday.

  • AlanInSF

    Wow, I never thought I’d say anything in defense of Sarah Palin, but, not-looking-like-a-demented-monster-wise, Carly Fiorina is no Sarah Palin.

  • Joshua Norton

    And frankly, I am tired of being insulted by liberal feminists

    Um, Carly…

    https://twitter.com/BitchyPundit/status/661232345056305152

  • AnOuthouse

    Is she related to Marilyn Manson? Asking for a friend who is a chick.

  • zanzibar_buckbuck_mcfate

    HRC would crush her like a bug.

    • Guyzer

      Even Bill didn’t want Hillary

      • zanzibar_buckbuck_mcfate

        Not sure what you are saying here, but I’m definitely sure that HRC’s fuckability has nothing to do with anything.

        • Guyzer

          It has to do with the fact that she will never be president

          • zanzibar_buckbuck_mcfate

            Oh haha, ok, you really are being a dick. See above wrt the absolute irrelevance of Hillary’s fuckability. end conversation.

          • Squirrel_t_robot

            Just another entry in the ‘dear shir fer brains’ column, that one.

          • JMP

            Except from January 20, 2017 until January 20, 2025.

          • Bemused

            So the President has to be considered fuckable by the white, male, republican party? We’ve never had a female president, so if all the presidents must be considered fuckable by the white male republicans and all the presidents have also been male… Wait, I thought the Republicans were against the gays sexing?

        • JMP

          It has to do with the fact that she’s a woman, and so to misogynist dickheads like Guyzer here attacks on her appearance are OK.

          • zanzibar_buckbuck_mcfate

            I know, but I’m so unused to that kind of thing here at Wonkette that I genuinely thought I might be missing something! So naive.

      • Squirrel_t_robot

        Dude, Bill actually adores Hillary.

        • Guyzer

          oh …. we all do …. bless her heart

  • Guyzer

    Our next president may be female ….. but certainly not that racist criminal Hillary

    • willi0000000

      potato.

      • Squirrel_t_robot

        Hillary hates potatoes!

        • Guyzer

          and minorities

        • Rasilom

          I’m sure she hates Dan Quail too, but then don;t we all…

    • JMP

      Oh, poor baby, the fact that Hilary Clinton’s presidency looks nearly inevitable, especially as the Republican party keeps running off the cliff as they try to turn even further right than Romney, must really hurt, doesn’t it? I guess the next eight years will be tough on you, as she continues Obama’s policies of making the country a better place.

      • Zippy

        The size of the Hillary freakout is directly proportional to the degree of desperation from the wingnuts. The better she does, the more they squeal

        • JMP

          And of course, we’re seeing an increase in overt misogyny over her success, just as Obama’s lead to an increase in overt racism; and there’s also been a jump in overt antisemitism spurred by Bernie Sanders’ prominence.

          • Zippy

            they all show their true colors sooner or later

    • Enfant Terrible

      Our next president won’t be a crybaby, which eliminates the entire GOP field.

  • Squirrel_t_robot

    What an odd thing to say about Boxer’s hair, Carly, when yours made you look like a 1950s old lady.

    • Roni Raven

      The Peter Pan collar also too.

  • Guyzer

    Anyone seen the latest Obamacare numbers? ….. HA HA HA HA HA HA
    Proving once again what low info gruber_stupid morons liberals are.

    • Squirrel_t_robot

      Yeah, Dok will get rid of you soon enough, then we will laugh at you in the deleted comments round up on Sunday.

      Hint:

      It is titled ‘Dear shit fer brains’.

      • Guyzer

        you wrote a letter to your daddy?

        • Squirrel_t_robot

          Bye, loser.

          • Guyzer

            why does your avatar keep changing?

    • JMP

      They’re gr-reat! And once again, I want to thank Obama a lot since I wouldn’t have health insurance today if not for the ACA. As well as just for being the best President this country has had in my lifetime!

      • Guyzer

        so you admit you’re a failure … too bad it’s too expensive to afford health care

        • Zippy

          not for me, idjit. I saved about half my yearly payout by purchasing on the marketplace.

          • Guyzer

            wow … you really are a low info gruber

          • Zippy

            No, shitforbrains, I’m one of the many who saved a boatload of money with the marketplace. I realize you mouth breathers are allergic to facts, but your stupidity isn’t my problem

          • Guyzer

            not possible … the law isn’t written that way you liar

          • Zippy

            wrong again, shitforbrains. I saved about $2500 a year and got a better policy. Like I said, not my fault you’re dumber than dirt and have no idea what you’re talking about

          • Vegan and Tiara

            He’s probably that idiot from South Carolina who went begging for money after he paid the fine rather then get Obamacare, and then after he got cancer he was begging for money on GoFundMe. The only people sending him money were Liberals.

          • TheBidenator

            Uh actually it is…obviously your job mopping up after peepshows keeps you well away from the insurance marketplace but all the major insurers started offering Obamacare plans that were MUCH better and cheaper than their previous offerings acting in accordance with the regulations of the PPACA. I know because I worked for a health insurer during the Obamacare rollout and got to see the coverage offerings as they went online, you right wing pig pokers are firmly sequestered into your sea of ignorance….

        • JMP

          It was too expensive, but Obama fixed that with the ACA! Thanks, Obama, and I mean that sincerely.

      • Squirrel_t_robot

        Gotta ignore the intrusion of this winger, I suspect.

      • TheBidenator

        Same here, I owe my physical fitness and victories over unhealthy habits such as smoking to being actually able to see a doctor regularly.

    • Enfant Terrible

      They’re great and would be even better if red states would only expand Medicaid, which they would do if they were fiscally responsible and actually gave a damn about their citizens.

    • TheBidenator

      Gruber? It’s goober you itinerant hillbilly inbred asshole jizzshake. Actually the numbers for Obamacare represent a huge slowdown in costs which demonstrates that the thesis of Obamacare is working because duh, if you spread risk around to a larger pool everyone winds up paying less. Unless you’re a Republican than malpractice which is 1% of the costs and insurance companies selling across state lines which will only help profits while doing dick to lower costs is good becuz free market. Also, HSA’s which are shitty incredibly high deductible, low coverage accounts will fix e’rethying. Go back under your rock you shit soufflé….

  • JMP

    She’s really just trying her best to be a Schlaffley, saying the most outrageously misogynist things she can while claiming that no one can call her a misogynist because she is a woman. Well no, Carly Fiorina, you are a misogynist, anti-woman asshole.

    • Guyzer

      Hillary attacked the women that her husband raped

      • JMP

        Oh look, it’s slander time again! Try confining your attacks to things that actually happened.

        • Guyzer

          get informed gruber

          • IronPyrite

            get informed gruber

            Is that the name of your favorite emo boy band?

          • Vegan and Tiara

            Probably the name of the rent boy he hired to “lift his luggage.”

        • Squirrel_t_robot

          See, these wingers are really hung up on this gruber person.

          Odd how they think calling others by the name of a brilliant MIT professor is a fancy way of saying dumb as a bag of hammers, though.

          • JMP

            Gruber person? That must be a something I either missed or have forgotten, I assumed that this troll was playing at being Alan Rickman in Die Hard.

          • Zippy

            the funny part is- Gruber was talking about them. Those of us who can read, think and do math don’t need to be tricked into liking the ACA, because we’re not A Idiot. It’s the drooling mouth breather Fox crowd that has to be convinced against their will to accept something that’s actually good for them.

          • Vegan and Tiara

            I’ve been exchanging emails for the past week with a mouth breathing Fox idiot. She literally thinks “the mainstream media would have been all over Benghazi if it had happened under a Republican.” I sent her an article entitled “Reagan’s Benghazi” which details what happened in Beirut when Raven was president. Reagan basically said “well, you know shit happens” after the THIRD attack in 18 months, yet Democrats did ONE investigation, and it wasn’t a bipartisan attack. I’ve presented this A idiot with DOZENS of facts, and what I get in return is “why do you hate rich people?” and “the mainstream liberal media won’t cover Benghazi.” It’s beyond her pea brain to imagine that the media moved on two years ago after they realized there was no scandal. Aaargggh, it would be less frustrating to try to teach my dog to do my taxes.

      • Enfant Terrible

        “Make sure your political posts are about facts, figures and funny. So at least check it that way. Are they factual? Do they have actual numbers? And are they funny?” — Fox & Friends

        In your case, not factual, no figures and no funnie.

    • Daisy21

      Sounds like it’s the ladies of The View who are the misogynists.

  • Guyzer

    It was very entertaining watching the Republican candidates bitchslap the_shit out of those incompetent left winger nutjob hack moderators……
    NBC has no credibility.

    • JMP

      Yeah, those “left wing” hacks at CNBC, like the guy who sparked the teabagger movement over anger that the government might anctually help people who had been fucked over by the banks, Jim Cramer, and all those other hardcore supporters of big business and untamed free markets. They’re all left-wingers, despite being far to the right even beyond the typical conservative bias shown by the mainstream media, suuuuuure.

      • Vegan and Tiara

        I watch CNBC fairly regularly, and they usually make me want to vomit when they’re all licking some CEO’s balls (or lady balls), but a few weeks ago I heard them talking about how much one of the Republican presidential candidates was going to add to the national debt. I was confused, because they were very cavalier about it. It’s almost like they don’t even make an effort to pretend that Reagonomics is a real economic theory that has worked in the past.

      • Daisy21

        Wow, Rick Santelli got a few words in during the debate. that was fair and balanced. 99% of the debate was handled by the 3 left wing moderators.
        Democrats get to debate with liberal moderators, and are afraid to debate on Fox News. Republicans go on these liberal networks and have to put up with liberal moderators.
        However, the Republican candidates handled those liberal moderators quite well, and pointed out their bias. Democrats, on the other hand, are afraid of Fox News. Must be why Barack and his fellow Democrats have been such a disaster when it comes to Putin and ISIS.

        • JMP

          Um, there were four right wing moderators, so that makes no sense. So far, the Republicans have debated on Fox “News”, CNN, and CNBC – all conservative networks. They haven’t gone up before any liberal moderators. Meanwhile, the moderators at the Democratic CNN debate were downright hostile to the Democrats, yet they handled it just fine (well except for Jim Webb, who isn’t really a Democrat anyway).

          Yeah, suuuure Obama has been a disaster when it comes to Putin and ISIS – unlike Bush, the man who created ISIS and looked into Putin’s eyes and saw he was trustworthy; not to mention who just let Osama bin Laden go free, who Obama got. Fuck, considering that Obama’s Republican predecessor just had most disastrous foreign policy in American history, it’s kind of astounding that conservatives actually have the gall to attack Obama’s rather stellar performance in foreign policy.

          • Daisy21

            You are really off the liberal deep end if you think that CNN and CNBC are conservative. I wouldn’t be surprised if you are so extreme you are a Bernie Sanders supporter.
            John Harwood of CNBC is clearly a leftie and a Hillary defender. The Democrat debate was a cake walk for the candidates. Few challenges to any of the candidates statements, and no challenge to Hillary and her e-mail problems. No questions about the public’s view of her as untrustworthy.

            compare that to CNBC which wanted to know the weaknesses of each of the Republicans.

            Please give some examples of the “hostility” that was shown in the Democrat debate (the lone debate so far).
            You are correct that Jim Webb does not belong in today’s Democrat party — it is way too extreme. JFK would not recognize his Democrat Party any more.

          • JMP

            Hahahahhahha. Yeah. a Sanders supporter is “extreme” and CNBC and CNN are not conservatives, suuure. And the right-wing John Harwood is a leftie! HA! Hey, you know how biased the CNN debate was? They actually brought up the bullshit attacks on Clinton on her email server – you know, the fake “scandal” made up by Republicans where she’s consistently been proven to have done nothing wrong. Yet the CNN moderators asked about that as if that was an actual scandal. So yeah, the CNN debate was very, very biased to the right wing.

          • Daisy21

            An avowed socialist running in the Democrat Party is very extreme. Or, it just shows how far left today’s Democrat Party is.
            Yes, Anderson Cooper brought up Hillary’s e-mail problems, but dropped that topic very quickly when she wouldn’t answer the question and when Bernie Sanders, rather stupidly, came to her defense.
            If Hillary’s e-mails are a “fake” scandal, why is the FBI investigating? If it’s been “proven” that she’s done nothing wrong, why has the FBI not closed the case? She also still has not explained why she made the bone headed move of a private server in the first place. You on the left would vote for this woman if she had murdered someone on video tape.

            Other than the one question about her e-mail, what were the other “biased” questions asked of the Democrats at their debate?

          • Daisy21

            I’ve seen enough of John Harwood on those very left wing MSNBC shows over the years to know he is no conservative.

          • Daisy21

            Obama is the one who has been arrogantly claiming that if the Republican candidates can’t handle CNBC, how will they handle Russia and china. (Is that the same Russia that Obama mocked Mitt romney about during one of the debates?)
            It is obama and Democrats who are afraid of Fox News, so it must follow that that is why he and Democrats are so clueless when it comes to handling China and Russia.

            Obama helped create ISIS via his weak kneed handling of Iraq, and his cut and run “strategy”. As far as Bush and Putin, what about Hillary and her “reset” button? How has that worked out?

            Obama’s “stellar” foreign policy? You are joking, I assume. Obama has no foreign policy. He is in way over his head, and he is weak and woosy.

          • JMP

            Hahahaha. Sorry, but Obama has had a great foreign policy – notice the part where, for example, we haven’t invaded any other countries just for the hell of it, and the US is no longer an international pariah. And Clinton’s great job as Secretary of State his first term was a big part of that!

          • Daisy21

            Oh, yeah, that drone war in countries we aren’t at war with is great. I notice that lefties have stopped talking about civilian deaths like they did when Bush was President. the anti-war left disappeared once we got a far left President, despite his escalation in Afghanistan and his drone wars. Or the mess that was created in Libya with out help. The rise of ISIS after Obama cut and ran from Iraq. The mess in Syria on his watch. The failed “reset button” with Russia. It goes on and on.
            the US is still not thought of very highly around the world. Mr. “Hope and Change” did very little to improve our standing.

          • Daisy21

            you didn’t address the fact that Obama and Democrats are afraid of Fox News. Since the President wants to crow about Republicans and CNBC as some sort of proof that they can’t take on Putin and China. Well, if obama can’t handle Fox News, it must also show why he has had such a hard time with Mr. Putin and China.

    • Playonwords

      Listen to a man and then go finish yourself off elsewhere

      https://youtu.be/EhN0kEL9Epk

      • Rasilom

        Thanks you for that. Now I get to loose about another 3 weeks to YouTube catching up on all his music. Seriously good stuff.

    • Lizzietish81

      Your bedded hair, like life in excrements, start up and stand on end.

    • Enfant Terrible

      The World Series was better, and more uplifting.

  • Squirrel_t_robot

    Carly aspires to be a Heather, apparently.

    However, I doubt any one is referring to Carly as ‘clot’ on these here Internet tubes.

    • “I LOVE MY DEAD GAY FACIAL MUSCLES!”

  • Paperless Tiger

    Show some leg.

    • Daisy21

      That is hard for Hillary to do since all she wears are pantsuits.

  • ViveLaRes

    That is the smile of someone trying desperately to hold in a fart during a fancy dinner party but knowing it’s a lost cause. Which seems appropriate.

  • Jen_Baker_VA

    Hey Deleted commenters…your lady pundit is playing the chick card
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    • Vegan and Tiara

      Their “dangerous black thug, fake cancer pill shill” is NOT playing the race card though! So racism is dead, and also BENGHAZI!!!!11!!!!! Can you imagine if Obama had been raised on welfare and had attacked other kids with bricks? Even if he’d just committed the crime of being raised on welfare, we NEVER would have heard the end of that shit.

  • Vegan and Tiara

    Full Disclosure: I am a “lady.” I am a “lady” who doesn’t mind when other ladies have plastic surgery or botox. Hey, it’s all about CHOICE, amirite, ladies? With that being said, Fiorina’s face is painful to look at. I think it’s partly because of how fake it looks, and partly because I suspect her face mirrors her soul. If you’ve got her kind of dough you should be able to hire a decent plastic surgeon. Smiling shouldn’t be painful.

    • Daisy21

      As opposed to Hillary’s facelift? And that awful cackle she keeps giving?

      • JMP

        Oh gee, super misogynist comments on Clinton’s appearance, such a shocker!

        • Daisy21

          Hey, it’s you on the left who started with the comments about the looks of conservative women. sounds like it is you who is the misogynist.
          Simply giving you on the left back what you dish out to Republican women.

          • cousin itt

            1) You should know that Wonkette does not allow comments.
            2) Satire exists on many levels of meaning and signification, see also semiotics.
            3) Carly is one odd-looking dude.

          • Daisy21

            Carly is one odd looking dude…as opposed to the woman your party wants to coronate? Give me a break…

            As far as satire, I have no problem with it as long as it is done in an equal opportunity way. Do you have some examples of The View going after Hillary in that same satirical manner?

  • Left Coast Tom

    Being in tech I was well aware of Carly’s fail as it was happening, but not being at HP…not even her 2010 “campaign” for Senate prepared me for what a horrible, miserable, person she is.

    • Daisy21

      Can’t be worse than the mess that Hillary’s State Dept. tenure has left our country.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Whining titty baby spends all of his/her time whining like a titty baby? That is soooo yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

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  • Magic Juan

    Open mic is so unfair…kind of like how unfair it is for people to be videoing cops just trying to do their jobs….

  • Daisy21

    At least Carly does not base her campaign on being a woman, as Hillary does. That seems to be Hillary’s only “claim to fame” for running. She has few accomplishments, has bad policies, and is untrustworthy. Yet, Democrats will dutifully vote for their coronated queen.
    It seems Hillary is running against everything her husband supported during his term in office. Now, if his Presidency was a successful as Democrats want to claim it was, why would Hillary be campaigning on things that are directly opposed to what her husband did during his term?
    And, why does she keep telling us how bad things are now, and that she will fix them? I thought Barack Obama was doing a fantastic job according to the left.

    • Zippy

      you’re not too smart, are you?

      • cousin itt

        Yet, Democrats will dutifully vote for their coronated queen.

        I thought we were an autonomous collective.

        • Suttree

          Anarchosyndicalist commune or gtfo.

        • jmk

          You’re fooling yourself! We’re living in a dictatorship! A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes…

          • cousin itt

            There you go again!

      • Daisy21

        You shouldn’t talk about Hillary that way.

        • Zippy

          you should learn to read better

          • Daisy21

            Just pointing out that Democrat voters are not too smart when they support an unethical and corrupt woman like Hillary.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      “At least Carly does not base her campaign on being a woman, as Hillary does.”

      Indeed. Carly bases hers on her abject failure as a business woman.

      • Daisy21

        And Hillary was a failure as Secretary of State, so what is your point?
        Since she had no real accomplishments as a Senator or as Secretary of State, could that be why she is so invested in people voting for her simply because of her gender?

        • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

          Thank you for proving your idiocy.

          1. Clinton failed nothing in her term. Nothing.
          2. HP fired your stupid fucking friend for incompetence. Misery loves company — I’m not surprised you love her.

    • Hi Steve – can I call you Steve? Anyway, Steve, people who at least marginally smarter than lukewarm cantaloupe realize that 2015 is a different time than 1993, and that policies and positions can – and should – evolve over time. This is why those aforementioned people aren’t championing some sort of mythical “golden age” from the 1950s when everything was perfect (as long as you were a rich, straight, white male).

      What makes a Democratic supporter different from a Republican supporter is that we look at Clinton the first and say “yeah, alright, he was pretty good, but we can do better”, and you look at Regan and decide that you should do exactly what you pretended he did in the fucking 1980s for now and all time.

      • Daisy21

        Who is Steve?

        • Also, too, I figured this rhetorical flourish would be far, far beyond you.

      • Daisy21

        It is Democrats who keep waxing nostalgic for those “great” Clinton years. If his policies were so wonderful and successful, why would Democrats now want to abandon them?
        It’s interesting how Democrats like to say that they “evolve”, but when a Republican changes their mind, they are demonized by the left as “flip floppers”.

        As far as championing something from the 1950’s, that is exactly what some Democrats have been doing when it comes to the tax rates of the 1950s. You better tell your fellow lefties to move on and not dwell on those tax rates.

        And, no, you Democrats still worship Bill Clinton. You still bask in that glow of the 1990’s, and tell us how wonderful he was for the country. You have not moved on.
        the problem is that today’s Democrats are not proposing anything that is making things better. More stagnant wages, more people on government programs, more poverty, etc.

      • Daisy21

        I notice that for some odd reason, liberals like to use the “f” word a lot. What is up with that show of low vocabulary skills?

        • I’m not going to bother with the rest of your low-rent drivel, because frankly, I have a job to get to and you’re mediocre as a troll and thusly not really worth my effort, but… You do realize that a vocabulary that includes the word “fuck” and its many colourful variants is, by definition, more robust than one from which the word “fuck” is absent, right?

  • Daisy21

    Still waiting for the ladies of The View to mock Hillary.
    There is a lot of material they can work with.

    • cousin itt

      Daisy, Daisy give me your answer do.
      I’m half crazy all for the derp of you.

      • Daisy21

        You are really off the wall.
        but, you can’t deny that the liberal ladies of the view have Hillary’s back. We won’t be hearing any snarky comments about her from them.
        But…there is so much material there for them to work with if they wanted to.

        • cousin itt

          It doesn’t matter for whom the “liberal ladies” have anyone’s back. Partisans will be partisans. What we look for is intelligent deconstruction of conservative and liberal talking points and principled, if snarky, rejection of the mindless acceptance of party dogma.

          • Daisy21

            I agree that that is what we should be looking for.
            Unfortunately, we only get one sided deconstruction from the ladies on The View. there is a lot to deconstruct about the Democrat Party and it’s candidates, yet rarely do those ladies take it on.
            They also don’t reject mindless acceptance of party dogma when it comes to Democrats. Or perhaps you can provide some examples of where they do.

  • mtn_philosoph

    Ooo, that “I just sucked on a lemon” smile, so natural and convincing!

  • redjon

    Was Carly prescient? If Carly Fiorina is Hillary Clinton’s worst nightmare, then Clinton’s run for the presidency is going to be a very easy thing indeed.

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