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Remember to take care of YOU … somehow

New Hampshire Sen. Kelly Ayotte (R-So You Already Know This Will Not End Well) is a real modern day have-it-all kind of lady. She has a job and children, if you can even imagine how hard that is, and you, typical average American, probably can’t. How ever does she do it? She’s got that nice six-figure salary and terrific benefits, with a unlimited sick days and vacation time and great healthcare, so that helps. Plus, she really only has to work part-time, since those Senate guys (and girl-guys like Ayotte!) spend a lot of their year being on “out of session” vacay. And while the rest of us dumb average American suckers only get, at best, a three-day weekend for important holidays, like the anniversary of when Columbus got lost and discovered “India,” they take off the entire week! Senatoring is such great not-work if you can get it.

ANYHOO-HA. Here is some swell advice for all you working parents out there, direct from Sen. Supermom herself:

“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” she says while encouraging parents to not feel guilty about taking alone time to recharge. “It’s really important, even just a half hour a day, find your time to clear your mind, to make you feel fresh and also step back and think about priorities.”

Sen. Ayotte knows it’s “really important” for parents to have time for themselves. That’s why she has always supported pro-family legislation to make it easier for parents to find that minimum half hour a day she recommends.

Like a bill for mandatory paid sick leave, so workers can care for elderly parents or wipe the snot from their sick kids’ faces, without it hurting them right in the paycheck, or consuming whatever vacation time they’ve accrued, if any, that they might otherwise spend on that Me Time Ayotte says is so critical.

Ha, just kidding! She opposed that because, she said in a 2010 debate, “that is certainly an issue that should be addressed by employers rather than mandated by the government.” And if your employer thinks you can spend your recharging alone time taking care of your family without pay, oh well. Freedom isn’t free.

It’s not as if Ayotte doesn’t get it. She’s a mom. And she had a mom too, so she double gets it!

“My mother was a working mom herself and I really admire her because she got pregnant with me at a young age. She was in college when she got pregnant and she dropped out of college and never finished. But, she worked really hard,” says Ayotte concluding that taking leadership and having resilience as a mother rubs off on your children.

Awwww, what a heart-warming illustration of what happens to women who become pregnant at a young age and have to abandon their higher education — and, ultimately, higher earning potential — to work really hard to support their families. And, let us not forget, they do it on paychecks from which the average automatically deducted “Just For Being A Lady” tax is about 22 percent nowadays. It was a whole lot worse in the before times, when Little Kelly was born in 1968.

That’s why Ayotte has also supported the Paycheck Fairness Act, to improve the lives and incomes of moms like her, so they can maybe have a little extra to treat themselves to a guilt-free spa day now and then. Haha, just kidding again! Ayotte voted against Paycheck Fairness a whole bunch of times. And then, just for kitten-heel kicks, she and some of her fellow lady Republicans introduced their own adorable “Equal Pay” bill, which wouldn’t actually strengthen equal pay laws so much as weaken them by creating extra loopholes for employers. It’s like the same thing, only different.

Know what else helps moms achieve that work-family balance? The Title X Family Planning Program allows women greater opportunities to stay in school, pursue higher-paying careers, and better care for their children if and when they decide to have them. That’s why Ayotte has always supported — aw heck, let’s drop this charade and get right to pointing out how she’s against that too:

In addition to voting three times to defund Planned Parenthood, Ayotte has also voted to eliminate all funding for the Title X Family Planning Program, which helps fund 4,200 Family Planning Centers that serve 4.5 million individuals across the country.

It’s a lot harder for parents, especially of the lower-income mom kind, to find that extra half hour a day for themselves when they have to work 27 hours a day to support their families. Harder still when the only kind of healthcare they can afford is offered through programs and organizations that Ayotte and her fellow Republicans keep trying to defund.

It’s almost as if Ayotte thinks it’s easy for average American parents who don’t have her income or her flexible work schedule (unlimited sick days!) or her amazing benefits to find that necessary time for themselves; it’s just that they forget to do it. Thankfully, they’ve got Ayotte to remind them to add it to their to-do list.

It must be that kind of genuine concern for families that has made Ayotte so popular with her constituents. Hahaha, obviously just kidding once more because don’t be ridiculous. A recent poll shows a whopping 38 percent of voters in her state approve of the job she’s doing for them. That’s about 10 points lower than the approval rating of New Hampshire Gov. Maggie Hassan, the Democrat who just so happens to be running against Ayotte in 2016 so she can help families instead of trying to make their lives harder, the way Ayotte does.

And just think about how much free time that would give Sen. Supermom to clear her head and “feel fresh” and not feel at all guilty about it.

[Foster’s Daily Democrat / New Hampshire Democratic Party]

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  • Randy Riddle

    After helping care for two elderly parents with one other sibling, I’m coming around to the idea of twenty-children Duggar families that would allow me to go to Aruba while one of the other kids handles all the responsibility.

    • BadKitty904

      How well is that plan working out for the Duggars, anyways?

      • Lizzietish81

        Well if it wasn’t for their sister diddling son Josh they’d still have a show.

        You KNOW next Thanksgiving is going to be super awkward.

        • BadKitty904

          Happily, should budgets be tight following their TV implosion, that tribe is well equipped to fall back on Swift’s A Modest Proposal

        • Playonwords

          Errr – punctuation is your friend, I think(?)

          “If it wasn’t for their sister diddling son Josh” would be better as “If it wasn’t for their sister-diddling son, Josh” unless there is another Duggar family scandal involving an aunt … which is all too possible, I suppose.

      • Msgr_Moment

        For all we know, Josh is soaking up rays and having sexy fingerbanging time on Aruba right now.

        • BadKitty904

          If that were the case, I’m sure it’d be a new reality TV show by now…

  • Lizzietish81

    This reminds me of my mom saying about her grandmother would go on and on to her daughter about how hard her mom worked, and how many kids she had and blah blah blah, which mom would end with “of course Meme (the nickname of her grandmother) always neglected to mention that she had a maid”

    • MsAnthropesMr

      Your great-grandmother was a meme? Which one?

      • Lizzietish81

        All of them. She was that bad ass.

    • JustPixelz

      In fairness, the bell to call the maid didn’t ring itself.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Well that’s why you hire the bell-ringer.

    • AntiDerpomeme

      LOL, similar to the story of my winger soon-to-be-ex SIL, who has had about a dozen (well, eight anyway) kids and all of her sycophantic friends exclaim “I just don’t know how you do it all!” She has two friggin’ nannies, is how.

  • BadKitty904

    A Congressperson giving “advice” to any normal American is always good for a laugh!

    • beatbort

      Agreed. Can’t wait for the Kelly Ayotte Yoga Workout Tape For Working Moms. Such a role model, she is.

  • memzilla

    The esteemed Senatrix is not talking about those people.

  • Msgr_Moment

    “My mother was a working mom herself and I really admire her because she got pregnant with me at a young age. She was in college when she got pregnant and she dropped out of college and never finished. But, she worked really hard,”

    I’m going to guess that the Senator is not a fan of Planned Parenthood, either. But at least now we know why.

  • Lizzietish81

    So one of the reasons cited for paying women less is that they take off more family time or some bullshit.

    Which is funny because I am surrounded by men in my office, ALL of whom have kids, and have had at least once had to leave or stay home or something because of a sick kid.

  • memzilla

    “My mother was a working mom herself and I really admire her because she got pregnant with me at a young age.”

    This is #3 in a list of “Things That WIll Never Be Said By Brissle’s Children”

    • Msgr_Moment

      Yeah, well if he hadn’t taken the Sabbath off every week, He might have made a name for himself.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Because being poor is a sign of moral weakness!

    • BadKitty904

      Look where it got that Galilean-carpenter guy…

      • mardam422

        Haha. Galileo wasn’t a carpenter!!!1

      • sarahjane1912

        Well, it was *said* he was a carpenter. He seemed to spend most of his time standing around chatting though, so … beats me how he held down a job. Dab hand with the whole wine/loaves/fish thing though. Pity his vocational guidance counsellor didn’t point him in the direction of short order cookery … :/

        • Playonwords

          Joseph was, legendarily, a carpenter but in the sense of master builder. Interestingly many heroes and demi-Gods are supposedly born into, or adopted by, such families

          • chicken thief

            He was prolly more of a master bater since Mary was a virgin and all.

          • sarahjane1912

            Ooh. The more you know. Ta. :)

  • “Don’t be so hard on yourself,” she says while encouraging parents to not feel guilty about taking alone time to recharge. “It’s really important, even just a half hour a day, find your time to clear your mind, to make you feel fresh and also step back and think about priorities.”

    I think Sen. Ayotte sees the writing on the wall and is just auditioning for a gig as an editor at Woman’s Day.

    • BadKitty904

      I can see it now – “Here’s a time-saver, ladies – my recipe for Pork a la Koch. Take a cheap cut of meat and stuff it with millions in ‘campaign funding’…

      • Playonwords

        I can see a resurgence in the market for Prime Long Pig, cut from the flesh of the disgustingly wealthy

    • AntiDerpomeme
      • sarahjane1912

        Snort. Beat me to it. *Grins*

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Does Woman’s Day have an office on K Street?

  • Playonwords

    And the Marie Antoinette award for condescension goes to …

  • iamnotascientist

    Frankly, I understand that illness costs business real dollars, even in the absence of sick pay. Short term, work has to be redistributed, people who are not familiar with what that person was doing now have to take up the slack so there is a general decrease in productivity. Long term, there is re-training costs, possible temp hiring etc.

    When it comes to the electoral process, business wants to be considered an individual member of society. Well, there are fucking costs to live in a society. I am not allowed to speed without fear of a ticket. I have to pay taxes. I can’t take your shit. Business has to behave as a positive member of our society. That means you can’t screw your fellow citizen because they get the flu, or their mom gets cancer, or their kid gets sick and dies.

    Unfortunately, business doesn’t generally act for the overall benefit of society, so Fuck.Them. Mandate it. Pass laws that jackboot those motherfuckers into being decent “citizens”.

    God Damn It.

    • Thaumaturgist

      Why should The job creators run their businesses for the benefit of someone else? Why do you want to restrain he free market?

      • iamnotascientist

        Self-restraint is godly. Otherwise I’d be suffering from wicked dick chaffing…

      • archierouge

        Love how you attempt to capitalize The job creators, what, like ‘The Lord’? The Job Creators- Boehnerfacesucking Kelly would be so proud.

      • HeywoodJablomey

        iamnotascientist is not a Capitalist either. WHY DO U HATE AMERICA, HENNNGGGHHHHH!?!?

    • Sam Hain

      It’s been repeatedly shown that treating your employees like human beings with human problems, actually INCREASES productivity in the long run and is cost-efficient.
      Of course, the fucking shareholders can’t see past today though.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Doesn’t show up on a spreadsheet very easily, therefore does not exist.

        This is the problem with American business in general. They make it all about the numbers, but the numbers only give you an outline of the story. You need to use multiple synapses to discern the stuff that isn’t easily put onto a spreadsheet. This requires some thought. Thinking is work. Work is for the little people, not the captains of industry.

    • HeywoodJablomey

      People that make decisions of this sort don’t give any thought – or fucks – to the impact that said decisions will have on the scummy plebes they “represent”.

  • FauxAntocles

    Well, if she had a brain or a heart (or courage?), she wouldn’t be Rethuglican.

    • Thaumaturgist

      She does have a brain. She also has an accountant. Money for all this stuff hurts productivity. You want all those jobs to go to Mexico or China? You want to price American worker out of the marketplace?

      • archierouge

        This “stuff,” such as health, which is required for productivity?

        • Thaumaturgist

          Health insurance isn’t required for productivity if employees are fungible.

      • chicken thief

        That’s exactly why no other country has even bothered to try to do those things. Oh, wait…

  • Sgt. Gym Bunny

    “She was in college when she got pregnant and she dropped out of college and never finished. But, she worked really hard,”

    I’m sorry, but the obvious follow up should be that your mother deserved so much better for working so hard. Not a prematurely ended education and career to mind the youngins…

    • beatbort

      The take away that I get is that had the mother been given easier access to birth control, she would have gotten that education and be well along in a career and we would happily have one less condescending asshole of a U.S. Senator.

      • HeywoodJablomey

        THANKS TIME MACHINE OBAMA

        Love your logic : )

    • Thaumaturgist

      In the America I grew up in, parents wanted their kids to have a better life than they had.

      • Dee Andee

        In conservative America, parents want their kids to have a better life, but fuck those other people’s kids, and fuck those other kid’s parents.

    • PsycWench

      You wonder what might have happened had the poor woman gotten a little support and gone back to college. But that might have involved Big Government helping out.

      • Ruhe

        Is it possible that if the Senator went through extended therapy she might discover that she harbors a deeply repressed resentment of our society and the way it treated her pregnant mother years ago? Is it possible she’s actually seeking revenge?

        • Dee Andee

          Kind of how closet conservative gays punish other gays? Because seeking revenge upon people just like her mom is weird and twisted, but very conservative.

          OR, she has this attitude that if her mom, who gave up her education in order to care for her kids, raised a ‘successful’ daughter without any government help, so should every other woman out there? Because bootstraps? Damn, I need more coffee. Though I’m not sure there could ever be enough coffee to help me understand republican women.

      • Cindyinencinitas

        With, gulp, child care??? A literal nanny state! What is this, Norway???

  • dslindc

    Good reminder to make time to vote, no matter how hard, EVERY. DAMN. TIME.

    • BadKitty904

      Amen, amen, amen. These asshats are in Congress because We the People let them stay in Congress.

      • AntiDerpomeme

        Well, that and the gerrymandering. But yeah, we need the groundswell to push these suckers out.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          The worst teabilly Freedom Caucus members of the House come from gerrymandered districts so thoroughly immune from Dem-or even marginally moderate Republican- votes that the only way they can be defeated is by NOT being sufficiently racist, misogynist, homophobic, and stupid. I don’t know the answer to this.

          • willi0000000

            most gerrymandered pug districts are pug majority only in “likely voters” . . . if all, or even most, of the eligible voters got registered and voted it’s possible to throw the bums out . . . GOTV!

            [ i live in Massachusetts so not a problem here . . . anything gerrymandered id solid Dem. ]

          • Cindyinencinitas

            Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think that in the gerrymandered districts the candidates are having to take more and more extreme views which is pushing them out of favor with the likely voters, so it’s just a matter of time before the pendulum swings back.

      • handyhippie65

        not “me, the people” but, i understand

    • JohnR

      No,no,no, don’t waste you recharge time on voting. Why bother when Kelly is looking out for you?

    • Oh, I vote hard every time I vote.

    • bozilingus

      Too bad that the people we really need to vote are busy working 2 or 3 jobs and spending way too much time trying to get from one job to the next. Make voting easier for them, push mail-in ballots and early voting where possible. Let’s take Congress back from the Conservatives.

  • handyhippie65

    is sad that she can’t hide her hypocrisy better than that. she is giving the repubs a bad name.

  • AntiDerpomeme

    God, women republicans are the WORST. Entitled and holier-than-thou and no qualms about making the less fortunate suffer, because Jesus or something.

    • Relativicus

      Plus, all that frosted hair! *shudder*

      • AntiDerpomeme

        It begs the question: does hair bleaching sometimes lead to diminished mental capacity at the Republican level or does the diminished mental capacity entice a wingnut lady into following the basic Stepford wife model?

        With all due respect to my fellow hair colorers. I haven’t had my natural shade (which is more salt-n’-pepper than ever) in at least 15 years now.

        • Ryanne

          I still talk good with my bleached hair

        • Cindyinencinitas

          My mom raised the 5 of us while frosting her hair, wearing ice blue clothes and lipstick, listening to Brazilian jazz, and eating her fill of the blue mother’s helpers (10 mg) and we came out ok.

    • Sam Hain

      Stockholm syndrome…w/ a dash of white privilege and a heaping of hypocrisy…all wrapped up in a Mean Girls sorority.

      • OzoneTom

        I am so looking forward to seeing her being ass-kicked (with votes!) by Maggie next year.

    • Dee Andee

      Most conservative women I have had the misfortune to know have absolutely no idea what it’s like to have to struggle, and assume most women’s lives are just like theirs. They see the world through upper middle-class, rose colored glasses. Even when their lives go sideways and they lose their status, they tell themselves nothing has changed. They are some weird-ass bitches, those chicks.

  • Playonwords

    It all feeds into the fundamentalist view that all humans are inherently evil. Thus they think people would rather act unethically than ethically or that people would rather laze at home than work or that people would pretend to be sick to avoid work or that the possibility of pregnancy is all that stops people from having sex all the time.

    • Thaumaturgist

      Fundamentalists are projecting.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        It’s always projection with these assholes. Always.

    • Okely D’Oprah

      Wow! I just realized I may be part fundamentalist!

    • mtn_philosoph

      The conservative paradigm is that humanity consists of Good People and Bad People. The first group is inherently virtuous and the second group is inherently evil. The task of a righteous society is to isolate and suppress the bad people and to shield the good people from their malignant influence. Their concepts of fairness and justice are built on this paradigm.

      • Playonwords

        Very minor disagreement with you. My opinion is that it is the vile doctrine of Original Sin that informs the Conservative/authoritarian view of humanity; all humans are born sinful. It is the duty of of the authoritarian to hold that sin in check until the sinner becomes, to misuse concepts coined by Pratchett, endarkened or committed to the dungeon dimensions.

        These authoritarians believe they are perfected or can achieve perfection by helping an elite control the sinners with bread, circuses and the threat or use of punishment; they also believe that even the unbeliever can be saved by following authoritarian precepts. Those who think themselves near perfected believe that, when they become part of that elite, the silly socialists/atheists/Muslims/blahs will be sorry then. In this view of the world the wealthy are already receiving the benefits of their endarkenment and so are part of the elite that those seeking perfection must follow.

        • mtn_philosoph

          My summary is largely taken from Etzioni, among others.

          • Playonwords

            Very briefly (well, for a discussion on religion and philosophy) where does religion end and philosophy begin? and vice versa of course. The major schools of Chinese thought started as “a love of knowledge” but morphed in to religion and this even includes Legalism! (a brief overview of the Philosophical schools of China is at the link)

            Note I preferred the term Authoritarian to Conservative because Stalin and Trump (or Cruz or iCarly) would have a lot in common and resort to many of the same methods. This leaves me with a problem, what is the converse to Authoritarianism? It should be anarchist but …

  • kaydenpat

    Go Maggie Hassan!! Hope she beats Ayotte in Nov 2016. Dems need to take back the Senate. Unfortunately, the House is way too gerrymandered for it to be flipped but at the least we should give President Sanders or Clinton a supportive Senate.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      Amen.

  • Relativicus

    Ayotte takes time out of her day to offer sound advice — advice is not free, you know! — and all you can do is harp on the things she hasn’t done. Typical. If someone like Mike Huckabee (who happens to be a cunt) were running for president, you’d probably bitch about all the stupid things he says and totally ignore all of the good things he’s done for religious freedom, whatever those things might be.

    • BadKitty904

      There’s just no pleasing some peasants…

  • DahBoner
    • The Wanderer

      Ms. Fiorina?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        The Eyes have it!

      • mtn_philosoph

        Not demonic enough. Needz moar cray.

  • JohnnyZhivago2

    Ayyote Ugly!!!!

    • Playonwords

      Which is far more accurate than the source phrase, ‘cos I think coyotes as kinda cutesy

  • Angry_Cop

    Ayotte has never raised a puppy, never mind a child, if she thinks you can just take a half hour of “me time” whenever you’re feeling a bit stressed, and everyone will just wait for you to feel all better inside.

  • Viva La Tabula Raza

    What a lovely person.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Bet there are lots of moms in Manchester who manage to sneak in an hour of snooze time while riding on the bus to and and from their second job that is the difference between their kids doing mostly without or doing entirely without on the GOP brand of welfare.

  • kindness

    I have to admit, I don’t get new Hampshire. Grew up next to it. These aren’t wealthy people. Yet they keep electing the worst of the TeaHaddist types that sodomize them at the drop of anyone’s hat.

    Wooops. Someone just dropped a hat. Look out New Hampshire! Don’t bend over, what ever you do. And keep electing people who like non-consentual sodomy. You say you don’t like that but I’m done wondering about you.

    • Angry_Cop

      I went to the Northeast, specifically NH, for the first time a couple of years ago. Born and raised in Cali.

      It’s a very interesting place. The thing that freaked me out were the grocery stores. Not even an “ethnic foods” aisle…but just a shelf! Some stale taco shells and a few bottles of Tabasco. I felt like I was visiting Mars.

      They’ve got a myth of self-reliance up there that in no way jibes with the realities of anyone’s life there, but it persists (probably because the winters are awful and surviving even one of them would make me feel like a goddamn hero) and that’s why they keep electing TeaHadis.

      • Msmlg1979

        Same here in the Appalachians. It kills me how complicit my people are in their own exploitation.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        In my experience, when people-as a group-incessantly boast about their “self-reliance” it is almost a sure indicator they are Republicans who receive a lot of government assistance. Funny how that works.

      • mtn_philosoph

        There isn’t much in the way of authentic Messican cuisine up here in the NEUS because, unlike Cali, we are a) thousands of miles from Mexico, and 2) have essentially zero Messicans living here. (You may have already surmised that the two factors are closely related.)

        “Self-reliance” in Yankee terms means “community self-reliance,” not “rugged frontier individualism.” Please be aware of the difference. Yankee ethics have always focused on the community and have emphasized pulling together and looking out for each other.

      • mtn_philosoph

        Also, authentic “ethnic” foods and ingredients aren’t carried by the supermarkets for the most part. They are, instead, found in specialty stores that bring them in directly from the old country (i.e., Europe, Africa and the Middle East, mostly). There are plenty of such stores throughout the region and they tend to be well-supported by large and loyal customer bases.

    • AntiDerpomeme

      As a former Masshole, my theory is that a lot of the right-wingy behavior is a reaction to their liberal neighbors in VT and MA. I worked with a lot of “libertarians” that were always complaining “waah, I’m all for small government and I don’t wanna pay taxes on unnecessary leftist programs like infrastructure and education and public transportation, so I’m moving!” but then they get wacked with the property taxes of NH, so I’m not sure the spite move really works out very well for them in the end.

    • Fun with Cthulhu

      Armed and militant chickens, defending Colonel Sanders to the DEATH!

    • mtn_philosoph

      Wasn’t there a sort of “movement” to encourage committed TeaHadists to migrate to NH in sufficient numbers to swing the state in their direction and thus dominate the political scene in the Granite State? (And perhaps help to vault a “true conservative” to the front of the pack during presidential primary races?) I thought I read something about that awhile ago.

  • Toomush_Infer

    “That’s all right, dear…I’ll just sit in the dark”…

  • UnsaltedSinner

    “My mother was a working mom herself and I really admire her because she got pregnant with me at a young age. She was in college when she got pregnant and she dropped out of college and never finished. But, she worked really hard…”

    Just like God intended. So let’s not change anything.

  • OneYieldRegular

    “I really admire her because she got pregnant with me at a young age”

    Excellent message to young women there, Sen. Ayotte.

    • Rick Hill

      “Go out and get knocked up young by a dude that will high tail it before the piss is dry on the tester. Then, maybe, your crotch dropping will appreciate the sacrifice you made and become an important person like me! Not that I’m going to pass any legislation which ill make your life any easier…”
      Yeah, real motivator, right there.

  • Jenny

    Hey I took a “me” break after putting in unpaid OT (salaried) and sitting on I35 for an hour and a half. I said self you deserve me time. So I stopped at McDonalds for a shitty pumpkin spice latte, because it is cheaper and tastes just as over roasted as star bucks. Also it was on the right side of the highway which makes life easier.

    So, as I sat there contemplating the pending disaster I was going home to, it occurred that the kids have been in school for three months and there hasnt been a lice warning yet. I should check my daughter hair as it’s been dull as of late just to be sure. Ah just one more thing.

    Another 30 minutes in traffic, I arrive to my kids, dogs, and brother who will probably be in my spare bedroom for the rest of his life. House is a mess. Dogs are freaking out for their walks, and brother has burnt his masterful dinner. So just another evening home. Eventually I get to the bottom of my to do list, my homework, the kids homework, and checking for lice. Lo and behold, the daughter has the lice. Jesus fucking Christmas party.

    Off to the pharmacy which is not a convenience because it is across town. Then home to treat the hair, comb out the disgusting fucks, and feed and exercise the dogs again because they’re high energy fucks, even when I’m running low.

    My mountain of laundry has tripled. Their homework was done at 7 this morning, and maybe tonight I’ll get to mine.

    This senator job sounds like cake. Too bad I’d have to run against Ted Cruz who is the best thing Texas ever did. Apparently.

    • Rick Hill

      Blame Eve. The selfish beyotch…

    • Msmlg1979

      Sounds like so many days my Mom had. She worked 3 jobs to keep us afloat after my parents divorced. One of my biggest regrets is not being more helpful to her as a teen, and that I gave her such a hard time about the little help I did provide. I don’t have children and I work one job, and sometimes it’s all I can do to get everything done. Looking back with adult eyes, I don’t know how she did it, or how she didn’t murder me. I make sure she knows now how grateful I am for her working so damn hard for us.

    • janecita

      Fuck, I will think about you before complaining about my shitty days! At least my kids don’t have lice and my brother doesn’t live with me! I can totally relate to the rest of your day though.

      • Jenny

        I think I combed out the lice fairly well! It’s just the laundry and other crap that I need to do to maintain louse free shit. I have no carpet in the house and all my furniture was specifically purchased at ikea for the oh shit kids spilled something, better put in the wash capabilities, so that should be ok.

        I spoke with the school nurse this morning, she checked my work so to speak, and she didn’t see anything. She said the lower grade levels were having an epidemic, but she’s going to get to my daughter and son’s class sometime this week. No guarantee other kids parent’s will do anything about it though. I’ll be spraying my kid’s hair with rosemary and lavendar oils for the next few weeks.

        As for the brother. Meh. He’s 31ish now? It’s a long story but my entire family is a disaster that I can never depend on. He can’t manage to get his shit straight, and thanks to his drug use as a teen / young adult he doesn’t function well mentally. He’s probably 16 in the head and I have no idea if he will ever progress. The advice I’m given a lot is kick him out, he won’t grow up if you don’t. But he’d literally be under a bridge if I did. So I carry forward, knowing he is smart enough to be manipulative and take advantage of my sympathy but too damn dumb to actually live a productive life alone.

        • Cindyinencinitas

          Description fits my 22-year-old son to a tee. Because respectable people in my life insisted I shouldn’t help him, I let him live the carefree lifestyle of the homeless for six months, until he dislocated his shoulder. Now he’s on my couch in my 600 square foot place and can’t work, so while he thinks he’s winning, I’m looking at a couple months of coming home to who knows what while he fails to participate in physical therapy and focuses solely on getting refills of percocet. Lemme know how it turns out, sis.

          • Jenny

            Yeah I know the feeling. It was supposed to be 6 months, going on 4 years. He can’t keep a steady job and despite my protests went out and signed for a car note. When he has a job he pays 300 a month for the room. Market in ATX is closer to 600 a month. He thinks me charging for rent is unfair cuz I have to pay for the room already. It took some Elementary School level graphs to explain how he burdens me so he sort of gets that he sucks. He swore he’d be ready to move out by February but that’s when he had a job.

            I put up with it though because he keeps my fucked up parents from showing up on my door step because they don’t have a place to go. He is the lesser evil. My mother has no idea I heard her berating my brother for living in my house, in the lap of luxury when it should be her.

            No, motherfuckers it should be neither one of you. I’d like to live my life without having to wade through the pond of leeches that is my family.

          • Cindyinencinitas

            Dude, God forbid I find an actual man to bring some fun into my life. Meanwhile, the ex is up north, has a girlfriend and a cat and is in AA now, so he’s all shiny and new after leaving my son and I to pursue a career as a coke enthusiast. His is the loudest voice now telling me that I shouldn’t help the kid. So while I try to figure out how poor people get surgery and disability, he’s making six figures and inspirational speeches at meetings.

          • Jenny

            I know right! Hey I have this brother who never leaves, a bipolar asperger son with kidney and asthma issues, a daughter that’s a space cadet, and prone to lice apparently, a fucked up slightly murderous, definitely abusive extended family, and an ex husband with more money than god to hire accountants and attorney’s to hide his assets, that only comes around go make life shitty for me. You want to date or what?

            Cops are the only ones who don’t run right away. And we all know how fabulous those guys can be!

          • Cindyinencinitas

            Not that I know shit from shinola, but while you may never meet Mr. Right, Mr. Right Now is probably not a cop, so hang in there and be choosy. It might get better. You never know.

          • janecita

            I think that it will get better for you and Jenny both.

        • janecita

          Lice are the worst, the oil should help though. You are a good sister, he is lucky to have you. And you are doing the right thing by helping him, you should get him to walk the dogs, it sucks that you get home tired and still have to go out with them. Good Luck, and Lots of good Karma:-)

          • Jenny

            Thanks. :)

            The brown one is my shadow. She tolerates my brother but she doesn’t go out of her way to spend time around him.

            The black one was an abused dog. She’s actually a foster, and is going through heartworm treatment. She doesn’t trust people and honestly isn’t allowed to go on brisk walks for another month or so. She mostly lays about until I take her out to potty. She’s a sweetie and I’ll probably end up keeping her.

            Brother complains about his ankle hurting after walking the brown one who is the one that needs it the most. :/

          • Jenny

            Better picture

    • HeywoodJablomey

      Sounds like tons o’ fun, bet Kelly would be totes jelly. Maybe we could get our pointy little heads together and get y’all on an epi of Wife Swap.

  • Sam Hain

    So, in summation: New Hampshire Sen. Kelly Ayotte= piece of shit.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Ayup. That covers it.

  • splashy79

    What is wrong with women that are Republicans? That’s like a chicken siding with Colonel Sanders.

    • janecita

      Stockholm Syndrome? Self hatred? Dumbassery?

  • Spotts1701

    “My mother was a working mom herself and I really admire her because she got pregnant with me at a young age. She was in college when she got pregnant and she dropped out of college and never finished. But, she worked really hard,”

    Senator, I want you to go back to your room and think really, really hard about what you just said and why it’s 31 flavors of screwed up. Don’t come back out until you get it.

    • willi0000000

      i hope you get your wish . . . we’d never see her again.

  • zanzibar_buckbuck_mcfate

    All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others.

    • Rick Hill

      Does this story have five judges and a gender confused plot?

  • Shibusa

    I don’t know how Ayotte does it, what with her $174,000/year salary and her full pension and her $3 million budget for ‘office expenses’ or her $500,000/year allowance to cover 3 legislative assistants or her taxpayer-funded health care plan that covers her entire family or her virtually unlimited taxpayer-funded office space where she feels like having an office with gobs of taxpayer-funded office furniture in all of ’em or her 3 full working days a week.

    • marxalot

      Don’t forget: she’ll have that government healthcare FOR LIFE, not just until she gets fired for being a Dumb Asshole.

    • Playonwords

      I know, poor little mite and she hardly gets any vacation (3 f’n months)

  • MrBlobfish

    Joe Lieber……I mean Kelly Ayotte is a real sack o’ shit.

  • mfp

    that photo up there?^^…obvs, kelly ayotte is the reclining brunette…but which one of the other two is her mom?

  • Ranina

    I’ve pondered for a long time how and why women become Republican politicians. I have known a few personally, and have observed a lot more. I’ve concluded that they figured out that pleasing [Republican] men is the way to achieve success. They aren’t the doormats that the wives are; they are the cute and feisty ‘lil gals who are willing to say and do whatever it takes to win.

    • nmmagyar

      …but still defer to the menfolk when it’s decision making time

      • Ranina

        Exactly. They’ve learned to be masters of manipulation.

    • Iam Reading

      Also, why are blacks and Hispanics christians. That is pretty fucked up

      • cynmac

        #NotAllChristians are Fundamentalists.

      • … because Jesus said that those who have been fucked over and exiled from their native lands are blessed?

    • Cindyinencinitas

      It’s called imitating your oppressor. If you can’t have power, instead of fighting the system (so haaaarrrd!) imitate someone with power and it will make you feel better.

      • HeywoodJablomey

        Gotta go along to get along. If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. Play with the hand you’re dealt, yadda yadda.

  • Callyson

    • nmmagyar

      Sometimes I miss her

      • How many dead Iraqis did she say was acceptable collateral damage, again?

    • Cindyinencinitas

      Beautiful.

    • HeywoodJablomey

      She really said that? I knew I loved that gal. I won’t worry about being sexist, per my post above.

  • Bitter Scribe

    [Mandatory sick pay] “is certainly an issue that should be addressed by employers rather than mandated by the government.”

    I’m sure she believes that whether to have the baby once you become pregnant “is certainly an issue that should be addressed by women rather than mandated by the government.”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Well, I’m sure that the 40 Hour work week was addressed by concerned employers who saw their employees were burning themselves out before the government ever mandated it.

    • HeywoodJablomey

      Firmly, you betcha!

      Oh wait, I thought you said “has her head up her ass”.

  • RoyalUglyDude

    I think this is the definition of Queen Bee syndrome.

    • Zippy

      Classic pull the ladder up behind yourself syndrome

  • TheBidenator

    When Kelly Ayotte was talking about ‘me’ time she was talking about rich women taking a moment out of their day of facials, shopping and doing nothing to pamper themselves obviously. Every other woman can be crushed under her stiletto heel…

  • Bob@Bob.com

    Was her mom a little loosie goosie? Inquiring minds want to know

  • SK

    “It’s really important, even just a half hour a day, find your time to clear your mind

    Boy, that’s a long time to take a dump.

    • nmmagyar

      Or masturbate

      • Zippy

        Why not both?

        • nmmagyar

          I, too, was a teen-aged boy…

      • D_C_Wilson

        Depends on what you’re using for visual aids.

    • Cindyinencinitas

      I wonder if her legs fall asleep.

    • D_C_Wilson

      And if they work for anyone like my former employer, they’ll be reprimanded for spending too much time in the john.

    • HeywoodJablomey

      I got a teenage boy here monopolizing the powder room who would beg to differ.

    • TootsStansbury

      Nothing like having to poop with the door open because toddler.

      • phoebequeen

        And pets that like to watch. I’ve given up.

        • AQuinn

          I hear ya. I have four pets, but at least they are polite about taking turns.

  • Hardly Ideal

    Eat the rich. Not sure what else there is to say.

  • Cindyinencinitas

    You can’t all be Jackie Kennedy because, well, frankly, most of you aren’t good enough. It’s just math.

  • SK

    I am surprised that the Editrix did not channel her old buddy Gabe.

    Or Gwyneth Paltrow

    • D_C_Wilson

      No one should channel Gwyneth Paltrow. Ever.

  • azeyote

    “Senatoring is such great not-work if you can get it.” – more like buy it –

  • HeywoodJablomey

    Maybe it’s sexist of me, but shit like this makes me one meeliyon times stabbier becuase she’s a double-exx, female-chick ladywoman-type. WTF. Way to be a fucking traitor to your gender. I’d like to cunt punt her all the way to the Atlantic, and off a high, rocky coastal cliff.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    We can haz ERA naow?

  • TootsStansbury

    When I was unknowingly running out of eggs at the tender age of 30, I desperately wanted another little babby. I couldn’t afford one. Hindsight tells me that it’s a good thing I only had the one but I did want that 2nd babby with all my heart. I couldn’t afford it.

  • sangsue

    Death. I’ve reached a point where it’s now my go to for every Teahadi and soon it will be for any Rethug. I’m not I’ll do it. But if one of them had a heart attack, I wouldn’t shed a tear.

  • Come here a minute

    Ma and Pa, don’t worry about who’s watching little Johnny while you take that half-hour of Me-Time, he prolly won’t find yer guns. Not that Kelly Ayotte is going to pass any laws restricting your right to leave them around wherever you feel like.

  • Ohaeri

    Goddammit, New Hampshire. I moved away from Arkansas and to you to get away from this shit.

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