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You were expecting something different?

Donald J. Trump, of the Donald J. Trump campaign to make Donald J. Trump president of Donald J. Trump’s America, is not fond of details. Don’t worry about how he’s going to Make America Great Again! — he just will. It says so on his hat! He will do terrific things to America, the best you’ve ever seen, so great, just beautiful stuff. So consider yourselves blessed, lowly commoners, that Trump has introduced a fresh new tax reform plan, full of terrific details, and you should read it, it’s the best thing you will ever read, after the Bible and Trump’s bestselling bestseller The Art of the Deal, of course, which is pretty much like the Bible, except there’s a good chance Donald Trump has actually read it.

Because Trump is a TEN BILLIONAIRE! and the world’s greatest business man ever, you know his tax plan is full of fresh, original ideas no human persons have ever imagined because they are not Donald Trump. First off, his plan is brilliantly titled TAX REFORM THAT WILL MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN, so we’re halfway to American greatness already. His plan sets out, and has practically already accomplished, simply by virtue of being typed on a webpage, four simple goals that you won’t hear any other presidential candidates jibber-jabbering about: (1) tax relief for middle class Americans; (2) simplify the tax code; (3) grow the American economy; and (4) doesn’t add to our debt and deficit. Does that not sound terrific? Of course it does!

So much better than, say, Jeb! Bush’s dumb tax plan, to give tax cuts to the richest som’bitches in America, just like how his brother did, only worse, even. (Who knew “Just Like My Brother, Only Worse Even” was going to be Jeb’s campaign platform? No one could have predicted.)

But Donald J. Trump has a real big heart, and he’s going to give the best damn income tax cut to America’s low-income earners, it will be a 100 PERCENT income tax cut!

They get a new one page form to send the IRS saying, “I win,” those who would otherwise owe income taxes will save an average of nearly $1,000 each.

That sounds amazing! But wait, there’s more! If you are a married couple, earning $51,000 a year (the median household income), you’re going to see your tax rate cut about 5 percent. Neat! If you’re one of Trump’s best buddies, earning $413k a year or more, you’re going to see a much bigger cut, of almost 15 percent. That’s even neater!

Here, let us show you some pictures of some numbers, for you to see for yourselves just how awesome Trump’s tax plan is for people who already have all the money. Here’s what all y’all have to scrimp and save to send to the IRS now:

Image via eFile
Image via eFile

And here’s how much better your life is going to be if you’ll just let Donald Trump Make America Great Again!

Trump's tax plan

Awesome deal for some folks, AWESOMEST DEAL EVER for the six-figures-or-more earners out there. You know, the ones who most desperately need tax relief, as they sit at the kitchen table in one of their various homes, maybe their winter home in Florida or their summer-as-a-verb home in the Hamptons, scratching their heads trying to figure out how to send Junior to college and build a library in his name.

What else is Trump gonna do to America great again, that no other Republican except for every single other Republican, wants to do? He’s going to eliminate the estate tax because it “punishes families for achieving the American dream.” Probably mere oversight that Trump failed to mention the estate tax only “punishes” families whose estates are worth $10 million or more, which, contrary to what you might think from watching Republicans say words about it, is a teeny tiny point zero something percent of American families.

But look. It’s not all to the benefit of the toppingest top of America’s earners. Trump, man o’ the people, is going to take on corporate greed by slashing the corporate tax rate from 35 to 15 percent, just like during St. Ronald Reagan’s reign of glory, when he “imposed the largest corporate tax increase in history.” Also, Trump’s plan promises to cut or eliminate “some corporate loopholes that cater to special interests.” Which some loopholes for which special interests? Dunno, guess we’ll have to let Donald Trump move into the White House to find out.

So what’s the TL;DR Wonksplainer takeaway here? Donald J. Trump’s Donald J. Trump Tax Plan will cut everyone’s taxes, yes, but the biggest cuts go to corporations and rich people and their obnoxious trust fund babies. And, bonus, it’s pretty much UNPOSSIBLE that this tax plan would be “revenue neutral” or reduce our debt, because trickle-down Reaganomics has never worked and will never work, and letting rich people keep their money so it can drip down their legs to the poors beneath their gold-plated bootstraps is not a legitimate economic plan, as was ultimately recognized (but not spoken of much) even by the St. Ronnie Church of Unicorn Farts And Wishful Thinking. But, on the plus side, the Small Government anti-tax conservatives can breathe a sigh of relief, because it turns out Trump is a Real Republican after all.

[Donald Trump campaign site]

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  • SuspectedDemocrat

    We’re going to stop punishing families who achieve the American Dream[tm], and start punishing families who don’t. Every year you don’t become a billionaire you pay a fine. You have to incentivize people!

    • A Grumpy Cat

      They’re not even “achieving the American Dream” as all many of them did was inherit money they didn’t have to do a thing to earn … oh, wait.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      I’m fairly certain if I inherited $200 million dollars that I could turn it into a fortune.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Especially if you invest it in something risky, like Manhattan real estate.

        • Vegan and Tiara

          Especially if I did it in the 1980s and got YOOGE tax breaks.

  • Relativicus

    “Who knew ‘Just Like My Brother, Only Worse Even’ was going to be Jeb’s campaign platform? No one could have predicted.”

    I could have, but his original slogan “I’m the smrat one” seemed so perfect I didn’t consider any others.

  • lucidamente

    Are there tuition tax credits for Trump University?

    • GunToting[Redacted]

      No, but it’s good news if you plan to attend Bovine University.

  • Billy Rubin

    I’m telling you, those casinos go bankrupt all on their own!

  • FauxAntocles

    In how many countries can you run to be the leader by promising to destroy your own country?
    AMERICAN EXCEPTIONALISM!!!111!!!

  • mardam422

    I think to make America great again, all he has to do is give everyone one of his hats. If idiots believe it’s true because it’s on the Donald’s hat, imagine how true it will be if it’s on EVERYONE’S HAT!!!1

  • Lance Thrustwell

    I like this math. Cut taxes, increase military spending, keep Medicare & Medicaid – and lower deficits! Trump is going to fuel this wizardry through pure, high-octane bullshit.

    Let me be clear; I have some sympathy for fiscal conservative/deficit hawks, at least the ones who are talking about the big picture. But I have no sympathy for magical thinking in economics. Which describes pretty much every current GOP member.

    • bobbert

      Hey, it worked for Reagan (in the sense that it got him elected. By idiots).

  • DahBoner
    • Relativicus

      Never! The phrase “now I’ve heard everything” is meaningless!!!

    • Anarchy Pony

      Stupid is a renewable resource. It’s possible we’ve reached a plateau.

      • Bearpaw01

        “The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.” – Harlan Ellison

    • Billy Rubin

      There is no “peak” — we are trapped in a robotic submarine, roving along the *abyssal plain* of Stupid. In forthcoming months, we will begin our decent into the crushing, icy hadalpelagic trenches of Stupid. Unfortunately, once we are well inside the trench, we will discover that the bedrock itself is an illusion, the Earth is hollow, and the Stupid reaches all the way to the core.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    This just keeps getting stupider.

    • mardam422

      I know, right!!? I used to think the worst part about American elections was that not enough people voted. Now I’m convinced it’s that too many do.

      • Spotts1701

        You know those jars of Peanut Butter that say “contains peanuts” and the packages of hamburger that say “contains meat”?
        Yeah, the people who necessitate those warning labels vote. Pleasant dreams.

        • mardam422

          So that’s what’s in my peanut butter?

          • bobbert

            Meat?

        • MrBlobfish

          Donald Trump: Not suitable for indoor or outdoor use.

        • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

          And the prizewinner, “Do not place this ladder on frozen manure, as it may thaw, and render the ladder unsafe” (or words to that effect). Because some (I’m guessing Republican) voter did exactly that, fell and injured himself, sued, and won. OK, there’s also his lawyer, the other lawyers, the judge, and his “peers” on the jury. They can all share the prize…

        • Bearpaw01

          Wait … *lawyers* vote?

          Well, that explains a lot.

  • btwbfdimho

    I wonder if money lost gambling at the Trump casinos could be deducted from the income statement…

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      Yeah but you have to itemize the shrimp cocktail, and that’s another form.

      • Zippy

        Schedule C for cocktail

      • Doug Langley

        Yeah, it’s so time consuming to put a price sticker on each shrimp . . .

    • proudgrampa

      “I wonder if money lost gambling at the Trump casinos could be deducted from the income statement…”
      Gambling losses can only be deducted to the extent of winnings. If you win $50,000 but lose $100,000, you can only deduct the $50,000 from your income.
      No, you may not ask me how I know this…

  • Spotts1701

    Why, this is a plan that won’t fail! Mainly because it’ll never get into operation since he’ll never be President, but we’ll just cut this line out in post.

  • Juan de Fuca

    This mother fucker is delusional. In addition to laying out a tax cut our grandchildren will curse us for, he also said he’s going to bring in revenue by having foreign nations pay for our overseas bases; does he not realize how many people in those countries want us the fuck OUT already? Now we’re going to charge them a protection fee? 20-40% unemployment in the U.S.? Who in the fuck is believing this bullshit?

    • HeywoodJablomey

      Yeah, foreigners paying for our military bases was a real knee-slapper. Right up there with Mexico paying for his fucking yooge wall.

      • Juan de Fuca

        Yeah and nevermind the $150 million annual operating cost of GITMO; get pissed off instead about a $700k soccer/athletic field that the commanders on the ground are asking for. It’s not politicians in DC asking for the athletic field – it’s the local commanders at GITMO asking for it. $150 million for a place that should be shut down vs. $700k for a field that will at least give some of the people there the opportunity to feel like a human being for a fucking hour out of the day. It’s funny that the people in uniform have more empathy for EPW’s than civilians running for office back at home who haven’t served one day on active duty.

        • HeywoodJablomey

          Another gift from Bush & Cheney that keeps on giving. Time is running out for this POTUS to close the prison, and Congress opposes every move to do so. Republicans are happy to keep shoveling taxpayer money into this hellhole specifically to deny Obama the opportunity to fulfill a promise or ‘put another notch in his belt’. Last I heard, that fucker Cruz introduced legislation to block any move to closing GITMO until after a thorough investigation of the Bergdahl mess is completed. But yes, by all means wingnuts- let’s have a shitfit over China’s human rights violations while Xi Jingping is here.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      “Hey, Germany, your wife and kids are real cute, I’d hate to see them get hurt on the way home from school, so pay for our military base.” That sounds like it will work!

  • My tax plan is to roll back tax rates back to the levels they were during Eisenhower administration.

    • bobbert

      This might work if any Republicans remembered who Eisenhower was.

      • Amy!

        It wouldn’t work at all if Republicans could remember what the top marginal rate was in Eisenhower’s administration.

  • JohnnyZhivago2

    Best of all – you pay a million + in taxes and you’re comped for a weekend at any Trump property – including free breakfast. Taxes not included. Offer varies in some states.

  • elviouslyqueer

    A million proven economic theories out there to work with, and Trump goes with “Shit I Just Pulled Straight Out of My Ass.” Figures.

    • Brother Yam

      Trump goes with “Shit I Just Pulled Straight Out of My Ass Hair.”

      FTFY

      • Bearpaw01

        How about “Shit I Just Pulled Straight Out of My Ass-hair”?

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Dingleberries. Yoooge, classy dingleberries.

    • TheBidenator

      It’s called wingnut-a-nomics, is it any wonder that economists are now if not overwhelmingly so are in a definite majority Democratic? That used to be a Republican dominated field who said “FFS, we’re outta here!”

      • Vegan and Tiara

        I like Bruce Bartlett, he seems to be somewhat in touch with reality. I’m not sure if he calls himself a Republican anymore.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      Republicans come up with increasingly dumb plans (gold standard! deregulation! zero corporate income tax!), instead of just going with what worked well between 1930 and 1980 – progressive tax cuts, regulated capitalism, and pay for the shit you want, like social programs, with taxes.

  • Zippy

    Maybe the way he’ll make his tax plan revenue neutral is by overcharging the Messicans for the wall…

    • JaaaaaCeeeee

      Trump already explained on the teevee today why his tax reform is revenue neutral; it’s because his will grow our economy by 6% a year unlike that low energy, dumber than GW bro’s that is supposed to grow our economy by 4% a year.

      • HeywoodJablomey

        The US didn’t even have 6% growth during the most expansive period after WW2. And that was with the help of stable worldwide economies, the GI Bill, strong labor unions, full employment, etc. etc. etc. He is so full of shit it’s turning my eyes brown. GAH!

        • Vegan and Tiara

          I just said something similar above. Four percent is very difficult, 6% would have to be a yooge bubble economy.

      • Doug Langley

        Ah, but Jeb&%*#! already explained how to get that 4% growth. Just make lazy Americans work harder, and VOILA!

        And I bet you think I made that up.

      • Vegan and Tiara

        I’m not sure the US economy has ever grown at 6% a year. Four percent is exceedingly hard to achieve, especially over the long run because you’d end up with such a yooge economy that eventually 4% would be impossible to achieve.

  • Dr.Zoidberg

    That was so bad it gave me cancer!

  • Thaumaturgist

    The thing that always gets my thing when I hear the poors complaining about food stamps or work requirements or blood tests is how much do the poors ever contribute to Republican candidates. Like, do the poors think rich guys get all the benefits without paying the piper?

  • Relativicus

    I was in Vegas last week. I noted two things:

    The Trump casino looks very non-YOOOOGE compared to the others, but he did build it in such a way that if you are walking in its direction at night, his logo is positioned so that it looks as if you are approaching “Trump Treasure Island.” And now I see I should have taken a picture. But it was Vegas. NO PICS!!!!!

    • Zippy

      There’s no casino at that Trump property- one of the few hotels on the strip without one

      • Relativicus

        Hah, so it’s even suckier than I thought? Awesome.

        (I wouldn’t have entered a Trump (trummmmmp) property even before the candidacy, and I doubly won’t now, so I’d never otherwise know).

        • Zippy

          It’s actually a nice hotel- quiet because it’s off the strip and has no casino. The rooms also have kitchenettes. One of our clients puts us up there every year- the trick is to ignore the name on the side of the building.

          • Relativicus

            I just cannot. Unless a client is putting me up there. Of course.

          • Zippy

            eggzactly- not my money. besides, it’s hard to find a hotel in Vegas that doesn’t have an asshole for an owner…

          • Spotts1701

            As long as you can find one that’s got the Culinary union backing the workforce, you won’t feel quite so dirty.

          • DahBoner

            I’m having trouble finding an “employer” who believes they need to send me to Vegas to “work”….

          • Zippy

            You’ll quickly discover the ugly truth that being in Vegas to work actually sucks.

          • bobbert

            Since it usually involves a convention and the temporary collapse of public transportation.

          • marxalot

            I’ve gone out twice in the last 2 years- consults for a client. I stay a week at a time. It’s kinda boring after the first couple days. But at least the shops are open late and there’s the roller coaster at the NYNY.

          • Zippy

            I made 9 trips last year. 5 so far this year. I’m kinda sick of the place…

          • bobbert

            (cough)Adelson(cough)

          • Zippy

            The Venetian and Palazzo are also A+ hotels, as is the Wynn- owned by yet another asshole

          • bobbert

            Actually, I quite like the Venetian/Palazzo, for the decor and the restaurants. Sheldon is an asshole, but he does have a decent sense of grandeur.

      • BackDoorMan

        … and ironically, I read that’s the only reason it’s successful. Apparently it attracts the sort of people who wish to avoid the incessant cacophony of the casino-with-a-hotel-attached properties. Another example of the short-fingered vulgarian managing to gild a turd. Also ironic – going to anything Trump-branded to “avoid the noise”.

  • Anarchy Pony

    Because thirty years of laffer curve trickle down bullshit not working at all means you really need to try the same thing even harder.

    • Vecciojohn

      See also, Kansas, where any minute now unheard of prosperity will flow from the Invisible Hand like an exploding cartoon cornucopia of jerbs.

      • Vegan and Tiara

        Grover Norquist: “we just haven’t given Kansas enough time yet.” If they could just defund the schools a bit more, but all those jerks in the middle class are complaining now that they’re getting what they want.

      • Bearpaw01

        If we could see the Invisible Hand, it’d be white, male, and flipping everybody off.

        • Vecciojohn

          Or smacking them for asking for bathroom breaks.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      The Laffer Curve! – my favourite made-up-shit!!

      In America, if you can write an entire economic theory on the back of a postage stamp with a fucking sharpie which proves that rich people shouldn’t be taxed – you’re the fucking golden boy of the generation. Jeez, how simple-minded can people be? It’s barely even a fig leaf.

      • bobbert

        The thing is, the overall notion of the Laffer curve is self-evidently correct (that is, the end-points are both at y=0).

        It’s the details of the shape, and where we are on it right now where the lying fantasy comes in.

        • Lefty Frizzell

          I’m going to have to disagree with even that. At the highest rates, wouldn’t one declare part of one’s income and hide the rest, since:

          – you wouldn’t simply stop working, sit there, and starve to death just because of a tax law.

          – declaring zero income and still buying shit is a dead giveaway?

          On the whole, though, the single biggest point against it has been that the proponents never follow even their own evidence. If you decrease taxes and you get decreased revenue, you MUST have been on the left of the peak!! Why will these fuckwits NEVER concede that?

    • Vegan and Tiara

      I think Laffer ended up being indicted for running a Ponzi scheme, so there’s that.

      • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

        Sued by the investors marks. Among Laffer’s peers, this doesn’t carry nearly the stigma of an indictment. And even an indictment isn’t all that bad unless you’re convicted, to a class of people who basically have no shame..

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Hell, if you’re convicted, they just chalk it up to bad luck.

    • marxalot

      I thought the alcoholic was leaving Congress? But here it is again, that same old insanity…

  • whitroth

    But, Wonkette, deary, don’t you understand? This isn’t just giving a massive tax break to the 0.1%, this is to help Grover Norquist’s (R-traitor, by Article 3) work to strangle the US federal government, so he can drown it in the (government purchased) bathtub….

    mark

  • cousin itt

    How did he get to be a billionaire with all these awful taxes?

  • Zippy
    • toomanyrappers

      But… But..

      We have cell phones now. (Or some shit like that.)

      Yeah.. That’s the ticket! ;)

  • OneYieldRegular

    He really doesn’t work very hard at this stuff, does he.

    • Zippy

      kind of like Thornton Melon in back to School- he has people for that stuff…

  • Lefty Frizzell

    He’s an unparalleled expert at trashing his republican colleagues but he hasn’t a fucking clue how to run a country. Not that they have either. It’s all a bit of a mess.

  • Callyson

    Tell me, ThinkProgress linky, how helpful would the cut in corporate taxes be?

    Trump proposes the lowest corporate tax rate of the entire Republican presidential field so far. He would reduce the rate to just 15 percent; by contrast, Sen. Marco Rubio (FL) would reduce it to 25 percent, while Jeb Bush would impose a top 20 percent corporate rate. That would be the on-paper tax rate; American companies already pay relatively low tax rates in reality, however. Thanks to their ability to take advantage of loopholes, tax breaks, and aggressive accounting schemes, the effective rate they pay is already under 20 percent. Meanwhile, although Trump says his tax reform plan will “create jobs and incentives of all kinds while simultaneously growing the economy,” lower corporate taxes don’t tend to go hand in hand with higher growth. There is no evidence that high rates hurt the economy; rather, those that pay the highest effective rates actually create more jobs than those that find ways to pay less.

    Same shit, different wingnut…

    • OneYieldRegular

      So it’s still all about him.

  • Trickle down *can* work. Someone has to scrub down those yachts, after all.

    • marxalot

      Talk about a Sisyphean task.

      • Bammac

        True, but that translates into job security….I mean, if you rolled that boulder to the top and it just stayed there – you’re out of work….

  • docterry6973

    These are marginal tax rates, the rate on the last dollar earned. The rich are not paying 30% or more of their income to the IRS. The effective tax rate is much lower.

    • Duke

      Especially when you count Social Security and Medicare.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      Mitt Romney had to forego some deductions in 2012 so that he could make it look like he was paying 14% in taxes. If he’d taken the deductions he would have been at around 12%, which is what all the hedge fund assholes pay.

  • TheBidenator

    This has to be the dumbest tax plan I’ve seen in a long while even (okay Huckabee and Ben Carson’s plans are dumber but not by a lot) in just the embryonic stage (it’s cute that Trumpy thinks you can govern a macro economy in like 2 pages) but given Trumps other pledges which is more money for defense, yadda yadda it means he’ll explode the national debt at a rate no one ever has or could. It’s like pulling a reverse Mugabe and just as dumb and the ONLY way it could be funded is by eviscerating everything except the defense budget. That’s right olds, Trumpy is going to have to gut Medicare and rob all the moneys from social security to get this plan going otherwise he will actually bankrupt the country….so enjoy the days of fancy feast cat food for dinner if you elect this slob joke of an asshole.

  • Callyson

    OK, I went to the Trump website to see just how he will magically cut the deficit. “Argle bargle get rid of (unspecified) loopholes argle bargle that 10% repatriation will do the trick argle bargle make corporations pay taxes on what they make abroad (using which nation’s accounting standards?) argle bargle get rid of more also-unspecified deductions!”

    Yeah, I’m convinced by this detailed plan…

    • Spotts1701

      Knowing most Republican plans, those deductions would be for things like student loans, school supplies, state sales taxes, etc. After all, we can’t be closing the loophole that lets Trump write off his failed land deals right?

    • arglebargle

      Excuse me? I do not, nor will I ever, write for that website. On a different note, I was out in your neck of the country a couple of weeks ago, that is if your neck is up Arcata way. Beautiful place. Almost lost my snark. Got back to good ol Pennsyltucky just in time.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Republicans and other assorted ass-kissers of big business are fond of pointing out that the U.S. has the highest corporate tax rate of almost any industrialized nation. They never add that, because of foreign subsidiaries and other chicanery, practically no company that can afford to hire a competent tax lawyer pays anywhere near that much.

    So, yes, cut the rate maybe, but make everyone really pay it. And don’t do some bait-and-switch where you cut the rate while making vague promises to close loopholes that somehow never get closed.

    • TheBidenator

      Remember how the Howler monkeys howled and howled when Obama unveiled his plan to lower the corporate rates but get rid of all loopholes that GOPers keep saying they are in favor of doing? Yeah, you’re 100% right they’ll obviously back the first part but then much like other corporate welfare GOPers are supposedly in favor of eliminating (like gutting farm subsidies to big ag) they’ll go totally silent about the second part….

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        With ALEC’s hands up their asses, they’re never going to get rid of those carefully-designed looholes.
        Corporate taxes are pretty much an illusion anyhow: if GM has to cough up 50 or 100 mil, their cars will just cost that much more – so guess who really pays?

        • Amy!

          GM.

    • DEL_5447

      Thre is also the fact we are paying for the largest and most expenive military in the world. A large part of whose mission is to ensure access to
      resources and markets.

  • Toomush_Infer

    How about if we just tax Trump at 100%…that would satisfy me…

  • Let me show you superfast ways to get paid some money on weekly basis by completing basic tasks on-line from comfort of your home for 3-4 hrs a day ~ Check >my disqus to see more @ information

    • Spotts1701

      Oh, at least this one’s new…

      • toomanyrappers

        Nope. Just be born rich. Same old shit.

      • HolidayinCambodia

        What if my home is not comfortable?

  • MrBlobfish

    I watched the 60 Minutes interview last night. Anyone with a face that bloated and wrinkled should not be talking about anyone else’s.

    • Hutch

      You forgot spotchy. LOTS o’ liver spots.

    • Toomush_Infer

      What? It was terrific! Fantastic….

    • TheBidenator

      So you’re saying it’s like a YOOOGE saggy constellation of splotchy stars that you can create animals from like “jackass” or “baboon’s ass” or “hippo’s ass”?

  • JustPixelz

    Only in an Orwellian 2+2=5 Trump world full of sparkly fairy dust blown from atop his unicorn as he’s peeking through a pretty pink kaleidoscope would he ever see prosperity for America in this plan.

    • BackDoorMan

      … ah, $arah, I jes’ can’t quit ya’…

  • TheBidenator

    I think Trump just told whoever his accountant is (Not a black guy! He wants Jews handling his money!) to find the craziest wingnut tax plan on the internet that doesn’t just eliminate all taxes and this is what he came back with…total troll. Even Trump has to know this plan is moronic….

    • Vegan and Tiara

      I’m fairly certain Trump isn’t as stupid as he pretends to be.

      • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

        I’m not. Remember how Gingrich was (still is) “a stupid person’s idea of what a smart person sounds like”? Trump doesn’t even rise to that level. He was born a multi-multi millionaire, and has less today than he would if he’s just stuffed all that money in the bank and went to the Bahamas and waited for it. He may be crafty–not crafty enough to avoid 3 BKs, though–but I don’t think he’s all that smart.

        If he turns out to be a Democrat/Indie who set out to troll the GOP to destruction, I’ll recant…

        • Vegan and Tiara

          I don’t think he’s necessarily smart, but he’s certainly crafty.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            Does he have an Etsy story where he sells his crafties? I’d like to see that.

          • Vegan and Tiara

            I picture him selling merkins and toupees. He’d probably call his store something like Trumpkins and Trumpees.

        • Tansy Geek

          He’s my idea of a cartoon businessman.

  • Duke

    The sad part in all this is that Stupid Americans will buy it up. Being confused by numbers that can’t be counted on their fingers, they’ll believe that cutting poor people’s luxuries and foreign aid will allow tax cuts, defense increases and a balanced budget.

    Budget maths is hard. All those zeros make people dizzy and So Angry!

  • MrBlobfish

    You’re thinking of all thoseother times trickle-down economics didn’t work. It’s sure to work this time.

    • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

      Zombie-Voodoo Economics…

    • Toomush_Infer

      It’s the Redundancy Conundrum all over again!…

    • Shibusa

      No wonder Republicans hate Common Core. Heaven help them if the rubes actually learn how to add.

    • Doug Langley

      Yeah, cuz the other guys didn’t believe!

    • Bearpaw01

      Clap harder, dammit!

    • Ak Troutman

      How about all those times that communism worked?
      Like when……No that didn’t work.
      Well, how about European Socialism?
      No that didn’t work either.
      I hear a lot of bull shit, but no solutions.
      How about we raise taxes and cut spending percentage for percentage?
      Raise taxes by 5 percent. Cut spending by 5 percent.
      Raise taxes for everyone. Cut spending for everyone.
      Any takers?

      • Gleem-McShinez

        European Socialism didn’t work? Uh, you know … Meh, nevermind that. Let’s get to the other cool thing you said!

        Cut spending by 5 percent.

        What spending, specifically? *

        Can we say The Military? Because usually when suggests cutting the military, the largest suckler on the big ole government teat, the derpo-sphere flips its shit and plays the emotional scare-card of how “we won’t be safe anymore!” Are you ready to cross that big fat red line?

        *If only Rick Perry could remember! Also, Planned Parenthood doesn’t total 5%, go back to the derpboard, Steve Doocy’s Underpants Gnome

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          “Cut spending” always sounds good, but no matter what you cut (including military), you’re cutting the jobs of Hard-Working USMerkin Men.
          It’s much easier to fuck over the poorz takers.

        • Anarchy Pony

          Finland, Norway, Sweden, Denmark and Iceland have all incorporated elements of socialism, all are doing better than the US in most important areas.

          • Gleem-McShinez

            But it “didn’t work” so that’s why Ikea was able to take them all over, or something?

            Guess I dunno the alternate history of the world, according to Shit-Fer-Brains.

          • Tansy Geek

            Can you imagine a tax code design like an IKEA instruction leaflet? On the plus side it would only be one page.

          • david green

            And it would come with one of those nifty little allen wrenches.

    • Beaumarchais?

      We haven’t tried the other leg!

      • Bammac

        (Laughing)

  • JustPixelz

    Republicans frequently say they want to “broaden” the tax base — meaning make lower-income people pay taxes (to offset tax cuts to wealthier people. They say, out of “fairness”, more people should have a stake in paying for the Federal government.

    But Trump goes in the opposite directly. Fewer people should be footing the bill. Trump is promising those people FREE STUFF from the government!

    (And — pet peeve — Trump says the lost revenue isn’t needed because he will cut waste and fraud. Politicians/Republicans ALWAYS promise the free lunch of lower taxes with no loss of government services.)

    • OneYieldRegular

      “If a community needs a new road or a new bridge, let it build a new road or new bridge itself! Let those foreigners fight their own diseases! And whaddya mean the government gives money to scientists for research? They can tinker with their test tubes and transistors and whatnot on their own dime! We don’t need no stinkin’ scientists!”

      You can go on like that for four or five pages and get Mussolini.

  • MrBlobfish

    Trump is right to bellyache about how he got asked harder questions than Putin. It’s not like he’s running for Presi…..never mind.

  • Bill Slider

    Advanced economics is such a scream. Republican Presidents always make life great by reducing taxes. Then the Democrats take over, and Republicans scream deficits, deficits. The Democrats are destroying our economy with deficits. Maybe someday, the poor will realize the Republicans ran off with all the money that could have helped the poor, if the GOP only cared.

  • say wha

    A tax plan from a guy who used to run bankrupt casinos. What could possibly go wrong?

    • Bearpaw01

      Honestly, how hard is it to bankrupt a casino? IANAhuuugefinancialgenius, but it seems you have to be either grossly incompetent or doing it on purpose as part of a scam.

  • VandeGraf

    Better tax plan: You got less than a billion assets, you pay 50%. Two years later we don’t give you food stamps. We declare victory in the class war. You got a million in assets, you go to Guantanamo and we get it all. We slam dunk the class warfare game ball. You got two cents or more, but less than a million, report to the station for euthanization. You’re a loser. Then liberty and freedom can prevail for the the billionaires. (But they won’t enjoy themselves. That’s how fundagelical Christianity works.)

  • Follow a general rule. If the guy proposing a tax plan makes over a million dollars a year you are going to be screwed.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      The corollary I heard was: “If you make enough to put a roof over your head and food on the table but not enough to buy a Congressman, you’re going to get screwed on taxes.”

  • ViveLaRes

    Ok, now I get it. By “great” he means “bankrupt” which has worked out great for him.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      well, when you declare bankruptcy that means you do not have to pay back your creditors, so take that, China, Fuck America YEAH

      • Tansy Geek

        It worked out swimmingly for Greece.

  • toomanyrappers

    Trump is an amateur and a lousy Republican.

    No real Republican releases any kind of plan in print. Now, other Republicans may be asked to do the same. :)

    I better get some popcorn. This should be good.

    • Bearpaw01

      It’s not really a plan, it only plays one on TV. It has as many asterisks and TBDs as Rand Paul’s did.

      I’m not sure Trump can pull off the same “I’m a wonk” scam on the press as Paul did, but they’re pretty gullible, so maybe he can.

      • eddi

        He is rich. That makes him an expert on money.

  • DahBoner

    “Trump’s tax plan calms conservatives worried about a populist moment”. — Actual MSM Headline

    You had us worried for a minute it wouldn’t be the same old crazy batshit…

    https://media0.giphy.com/media/d3ZFgFcIVlvUc/200w_d.gif

    • JaaaaaCeeeee

      How long does the shine usually take to wear off until Tea Party Tim, who broke up with Plutocrat Pete for Trump, gets that Turncoat Trump’s one too?

  • btwbfdimho

    Cut taxes???
    The graph below is the history of public spending and tax revenue since 1974(same story goes further back to the Revolutionary War) .
    We don’t even pay for what we’re getting from the government! On average, 3% gap, deficit between outlays and taxes (except during the boom of the 1990s).
    We’re getting lot of stuff for free, even though we whine about the government all the time.
    So, what are you willing to give up, average American? If you don’t like more borrowing from China, Japan or the Saudis, then pay more taxes or cut benefits (manly the military).
    But no, because “it’s all about me, me, me, and mine, mine, mine!”.

    • Bearpaw01

      Oh no, average Americans won’t have to give anything up. Only “they” will have to give things up. You know, the bla-, er, the not-really-American people who get all the free Obama phones, Obama TVs, Obama lobsters, and so on.

    • marxalot

      I do would not mind paying taxes, were I ever to make enough to actually pay Federal income tax, for with them I purchase civilization.
      -Some Commie thug, updated

      I’ll chip in an extra couple bucks a year to have a first-world country, sure.

  • marxalot

    In the 1960s, we had up to 90% income tax on the highest brackets and a booming economy, even with a shitty war.
    Howd’ya explain that, Thuglicans?
    Please give your answer in a form other than flung feces.

    • orygone

      not a pub but nobody paid 90%. they had so many loophole they could drive a mansion through them

      • marxalot

        Oh, darling, no one pays all of their share, but when the Platonic ideal number is very high, even what one gets away with is a significant sum.

  • Antimassacree

    …TL;DR…

    More like TM;DR. (Too Moranic; Didn’t Read.)

  • Last Hussar

    I’ve never filed a tax return in my life. Mind you I am on the dizzying height of £24,000 (about $36,000)

    UK Tax rates
    First £10,600 – 0%
    Next £31,785 – 20%
    Over £42385 (£10k+£31k bands) – 40%
    Over £160600 – 45% (used to be 50% until the Tories got in)

    There is a further 11%ish National Insurance for income in that 20% band (making it 31% in reality) The reason it stops is to do with over that amount doesn’t count towards your state benefits, especially pension. Also people with certain pension schemes are opted out, so pay lower)

    On my £24k, I take home about £1550 pcm. Those in employment get the correct amount stopped by the employer. If the info is passed on in time the system is self correcting (so if I earn nothing for the first 6 months, I pay no tax until I’ve earned £5300)

    Dividend income (from shares) is treated differently; (plus no NI on these)
    Basic-rate taxpayers pay 10% tax
    Higher-rate taxpayers pay 32.5%
    Additional rate taxpayers pay 42.5%

    Many feel that Dividend income should be part of your normal income, as it is the rich who are more likely to get dividend income.

    Sales Tax – VAT – is 20%, and added on the price tag to start with.

    • proudgrampa

      We Americans need to totally STOP bitching about our taxes.

      • John

        Yeah give your self & your family to the government or your move your sorry assz over the Atlantic. Idiot.

  • Takoma DC

    e? Donald J. Trump’s Donald J. Trump Tax Plan will cut everyone’s taxes, yes, but the biggest cuts go to corporations and rich people and their obnoxious trust fund babies.

    Where have I heard this ingenious incredulous tax plan before? Perchance a dream? It’s like dejavu except for Trump’s name I feel ambiguously certain I’ve heard this before.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      I was about to jump all over “incredulous” when I realized that your were ingenuously, not to mention cromulously, literally disemboweling our word-saladcious shit-fer-brainers. I objectify your evanescence.

      • HolidayinCambodia

        Here at Wonkette, we assume intentionally ironic grammatical and spellig errors rather jumping to the less flattering conclusions. A commenting community with an ethos based on Jesus’ Own Seder Rules of Commenting, as brought to you by Peter.

        • Takoma DC

          Say what you will about the tenets of Wonkettism dude – at least it’s an ethos.

        • Usedtobeyellerdawg

          LIEBULLZ!! They ain’t no comments here.

      • Takoma DC

        Everything is tastier when it’s objectifried. :-)

    • It reeks of Jeb!’s plans to outdo his brother’s orchestration of financial collapse.

      • Bammac

        ^^^HITO

        • So all I’ve got to do to hang out with you is get up at 5am, bub ? I can do that. “-)

          • Bammac

            I woke up at 12:30 thinking it was 5….I mistook the traffic from the crowd returning from the Indian casino for the morning commute…

  • Takoma DC

    “This is my wheelhouse,” Trump said. “The economy is what I do well.”

    Trump “does” the economy. Plus Norquist gave Trump’s plan a “wink.” That sounds about right.

    • eddi

      You can have a whole country declare bankruptcy. Then empty the Fort Knox vault and head for St. Kitts.

    • Bammac

      Oh, I imagine that, if given the chance, he will “do” the economy, alright.
      Do it hard.

      • he’ll exhaust it and sneak out before daylight
        morning, sir

        • Bammac

          Mornin,H.

  • So then ecomincal equivalent of “someone’s getting undue credit for inventing a clock that ‘resembles’ a bomb.”

  • eddi

    Under Trump we get lots of free government. Makes perfect sense.

  • Where’s the part which shows who’s paying for that ridiculous wall of his ?

    • Bammac

      On page 4, paragraph 9, section 734a, there is a crayon drawing of a Mexican rapist with cantaloupe calves.

      • Trump’s a sharpie man. He must have gotten his architect to draw that.

  • Usedtobeyellerdawg

    Silly Donald; You know that if you cut taxes for corporations and the 1%’ers, you have to start a war or two to launder all the extra revenue that pours in. If you don’t, some may actually trickle to the wrong people! Haven’t you read W’s plan? Worked like a charm, it did.

  • Thomas Mc

    Trump will make the middle class illegal.

  • John

    Starve the beast. Less Government more Individual freedom.Go Trump 2016.

  • John

    Congenital Liar top Democrat Killary Killton’s Rap Sheet:

    (1) Quit as Bills first love and subsequently Bill started womanizing.
    (2) Her law firm partner Vince Foster shot himself in the back of the head.
    (3) Web Hubble to Jail
    (4) Susan McDougal to Jail
    (5) Jim McDougal suddenly dies in Jail.
    (6) Ron Brown Dead
    (7) Whitewater
    (8) Travelgate (9) Filegate (10) Chinagate.
    (11) Fired for lying during Watergate
    (12) Convicted Norman Hsu donated huge cash to her 2008 campaign.Arrested by FBI on on 09/24/2015.
    (13)Lying that she was shot at in Bosnia as she landed from the Helicopter.
    (14) Hillary In charge of the “bimbooo eruption” in the WH.
    (15) Cattle-Futures – Turns $1000 to into 100,000, with help from James Blair.
    (16)Lootergate – Hillary took WH furniture to their personal home in Chappaqua
    (17) Girlfriend Huma is connected to Muslim Brotherhood terrorists
    (18) Dead Broke when left WH but now has more than $200 million.
    (19) Benghazi – Americans taken hostage and killed in Libya.
    (20)Quit the Senate to run for President & failed.
    (21) Quit as Sectary of State to run for President.
    (22) Started the Obama Birther movement.
    (23) Married 52 years to a womanizer to receive government freebies/ to run for President.
    (24) Under Hillary Clinton $6 Billion Vanishes From State Dept.
    (25)Took millions of dollars from foriegn donors via her tax-free foundation.
    (26) Used al-Qaeda terrorists to destroy Libya.
    (27) Covered up that the Ambassador to Belgium is a known pedophile
    (28) Fined $300,000 under the Logan act for attending a Bilderberg meeting.
    (29) Threatened her husband’s rape victims.
    (30) Setup server at Chappaqua home to hide government emails from public and
    congress so that she could sell the office of sectary to the highest bidder.

    • Jason M

      (8) The number of years you’re going to be calling her Madam President.

    • Tansy Geek

      A Child’s Treasury of Nonsense. This will be released as an eBook by our new commenter, who of courseis unaware that commenting isn’t allowed. I look forward to the illustrations of Hillary moving the mountain that Ron Brown’s plan crashed into.

  • Magic Juan

    …..The Art of the Deal, of course, which is pretty much like the Bible, except there’s a good chance Donald Trump has actually read it.

    Fat chance he read it, hell I doubt he even wrote it.

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