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We're gonna need a bigger cross. Seriously, she can't get up on there!
We’re gonna need a bigger cross. Seriously, she can’t get up on there!

Oh, Kim Davis, we somehow knew you wouldn’t fade gently back into obscurity, and we certainly knew you wouldn’t wake up with any bright ideas like, “Maybe I should do my fucking job today!” Davis is heading back to court because, SHOCK AND AWE, she’s probably still defying court orders. Because, see, if you’ll remember, her deputy clerk Brian Mason has been issuing all the marriage licenses for the gay homos and the lesbyterians, but when Davis went back to work, she said, that’s fine, but we’re gonna scratch my name off right here and sign it “DARK LORD SATAN.” Hope that’s OK with these sodomites.

According to the ACLU, Davis’s little modifications are against the judge’s orders:

When she returned to work last week, she confiscated all the original marriage forms and provided replacements with numerous changes, according to a court filing by one of the deputies, Brian Mason. Among other things, she deleted all mentions of Rowan County, added the documents were issued “Pursuant to Federal Court Order” and replaced her deputy clerk’s official title with “notary public.”

So back she goes, before U.S. District Judge David Bunning, who we’d imagine has had it up to his eyeballs with her shit. In fact, he might just throw her back in the pokey with her jail wife Myrtle, due to how his order explicitly said she was not “interfere in any way, directly or indirectly, with the efforts of her deputy clerks to issue marriage licenses to all legally eligible couples.” We think her little changes might count as interference!

So, GO TO JAIL, DO NOT PASS GO? Maybe! After all, Myrtle has missed her. And no, Mike Huckabee, as much as we’d like you to go away, you cannot go in her place.

So good thing she’s scheduled a little media-whoring this week, in case Pontius Pilate orders her to suffer in jail once more. Here’s Davis talking to ABC News about how she is super-willing to go to jail, and also some more of those alligator tears we’ve come to know and love:

“People are saying you’re a hypocrite. Are you?” asks ABC’s Paula Faris.

“No, I’m forgiven,” Davis says. “Washed clean.” See, because in Jesusland, nobody ever has to take responsibility for their actions, as long as they state that Jesus has washed their sins away. Josh Duggar got the Jesus pass, when he stole third base with his sisters. The son of Davis’s buttbuddy Huckabee got the Jesus pass, when he killed that dog. It’s all fine now. Don’t you worry about it.

Other interview highlights! Who’s your real daddy, Kim Davis?

My constituents elected me, but the main authority who rules my life is the Lord.

Gotcha. Davis says she has gay friends (!!!) and that “they know where I stand.” Would she deny THEM marriage licenses, or would she make an exception because obviously she and her fruity pals are such sisters from another mister? Already did, she says!

I can’t put my name on a license that doesn’t represent what God ordained marriage to be.

But those aren’t the licenses she’s been tasked to give out. These are CIVIL marriage licenses, which are different from whatever God ordains in her little bigot brain. Is Kim Davis under the impression that her office is just a little outpost of Jesus out there in the wilderness, stamping her God’s orders for the people?

They’re not valid in God’s eyes, for one. And, you know, I think the authority, I have given no authority to write a marriage license, they did not have my permission, they did not have my authorization.

Kim says it makes her very sad that the homosexuals want marriage licenses anyway, as if somehow “a piece of paper” confers dignity upon people:

I don’t think dignity is guaranteed in the Constitution. I think dignity is something that you find within yourself. I feel really sad that someone could be so unhappy with themselves as a person that they did not feel dignified as a human being until they got a piece of paper. There’s just so much more to life than that.

OH MAN, FUCK YOU, LADY. You see, once upon a time, Kim Davis was living for the Devil (says she was “real good” at it, haha, WE BET), and she treated marriage licenses like Happy Meal toys at McDonald’s (COLLECT ALL FOUR!), so she’d never understand what it’s like to live your whole life being treated like a second-class citizen who can’t even visit his spouse in the hospital when he’s dying, but it’s not our responsibility to educate her, so we’ll just stick with “Fuck you.”

Finally, what else makes Kim sad?

What probably hurts me the worst [tears] that my God does not love me! Or that my God is not happy with me! That I am a hypocrite of a Christian.

It was probably that Wonkette post we wrote, when we explained how Kim is already going to hell, having been completely abandoned by God because she accidentally did a marriage license for a transgender earlier this year. Our bad, sorry we made you sad.

Anyway, fuck you, hypocrite lady.

[Wall Street Journal / ABC]

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  • MsAnthropesMr

    What probably hurts me the worst [tears] that my God does not love me!

    My imaginary friend stopped loving me along time ago.

    • dslindc

      I had to break up with mine. It just wasn’t working out.

      • Brother Yam

        It loved me, it just wasn’t in love with me…

      • wide_stance_hubby

        I got tired of doing all the work in the bedroom.

      • riledupone

        It wasn’t her, it was me.

  • Brother Yam

    Put her back in jail and remove any Media oxygen. 2-3 months should make things move on…

  • Joshua Norton

    “No, I’m forgiven,”

    How conveeeeeenient! But until she can produce something that says “Hey, Kim. It’s all good. Yrs. JC” I’m going with she’s just full of shit.

    • Anarchy Pony

      She can’t do her job and be forgiven for issuing gay marriages though because….?

      • SterWonk

        My understanding is that forgiveness and absolution only come with sincere repentance and intention to not repeat the sin. So if she issues the license, that’s continuing the sin, so no absolution for her.

        So, she at least sort-of understands that part. The other parts, like “not a sin” and “civil authority” and “equal protection”, on the other hand…

        • Anarchy Pony

          She couldn’t ask for forgiveness when she retired?

        • Thaumaturgist

          She’s been forgiven for the adultery, kids out of wedlock and serial marriages (while the Bible still condemns divorce.). Kim doesn’t need forgiveness for denying marriage licenses, for that is Jesus’ work.

        • jmk

          Funny she’s not worried about breaking that “name of the lord in vain” commandment, though.

  • Lizzietish81

    Good on her deputy for standing up to her.

    • The Molten Soul

      Hey, Liz. Sorry I couldn’t find another way to contact you. I’m extending an invite to you for my first ever discussion, entitled The Saint Of All Murderers, under the News block. Hope you can attend. Don’t bother bringing anything like a bottle of wine, just your usual brilliance…

  • Lizzietish81

    Can’t we put her in with one lion? I mean she wants to be persecuted so hard, it’s cruel to keep denying her.

    • drbloor

      You want to be the one who tells the lion that draws the short straw?

      • Brother Yam

        We could dip her in chicken fat and roll her in anchovies…

  • cleanfront

    • agorabum

      She’s a real life incarnation of a wingnut arguing on a message board. Imperious to logic or reason.

  • dslindc

    I guess the book deal offers weren’t high enough.

  • dslindc

    “What probably hurts me the worst [tears] that my God does not love me! Or that my God is not happy with me! That I am a hypocrite of a Christian.”

    You know, what “christians” tell gay kids EVERY DAMN DAY. Fuck all the way off, Kim!

  • FauxAntocles

    IMPEACH!!!11!!!

    • Markuserektus

      Rowan county prolly has a majority of people like her and they think she’s doing a fine job.

      • FauxAntocles

        I think it goes through the state leg, but, yeah, I’m sure they don’t have a problem with it either.

      • Tansy Geek

        Hopefully it will impact their budget and a threat of increased taxes to pay for her shenanigans will make them think twice about re-electing her.

        • SterWonk

          Only LIEBRULS!!11! actually raise the money that they spend!

  • mardam422

    My only regret is that I’m going to have to spend eternity in Hell with people like this. I guess that’s why they call it Hell.

  • lesterthegiantape
  • Bureaucrap

    Kim, if we give you your own reality show for one episode which will be cancelled immediately because of low ratings, will you PROMISE to go away?

  • The Other Tim

    I know we’re not supposed to make fun of her appearance, but at $80K you’ve gotta have something nicer to wear for goin’ on the teevee.

    • GDleftyPart2

      Hubby had the good straw hat for a Huckabee rally.

    • chicken thief

      Only $72k net though after tithing.

      • bozilingus

        Does her religion keep her from paying taxes? ‘Cause then I need to do some convertin’.

  • Lizzietish81

    Maybe we can give her a cross to get up on.

    • Anarchy Pony

      I have some large nails I’d be willing to donate!

      • Lizzietish81

        I feel we could crowdfund this, I think we’d get a lot of people willing to participate in making her the martyr she so desperately wishes she could be.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        No nails, glue made from old santorum.

    • Tansy Geek

      As Tengrain on Mock,Paper, Scissors says “Get off the cross, we need the wood!”

    • MsAnthropesMr
    • jmk

      And listen to her whine some more about how hard it is to get that third nail in? Nah.

  • Anarchy Pony

    Can’t let the grifty train get away!

  • Callyson

    This asshole is still at it, eh?

  • wide_stance_hubby

    Right. The gay friends bit. Every time. And every time, WSH ain’t buyin’ it.

  • Spotts1701

    Do your damned job or get out. That’s it. End of argument.

  • marxalot

    Just for the record, “no, I’m forgiven,” is neither a substantive nor a relevant answer to “are you a hypocrite?”

  • Lizzietish81

    If the cross thing doesn’t work out and PETA doesn’t let us give her to a lion, maybe we could crowd fund a mission for her to go to one of those countries where Christians really are persecuted.

    • marxalot

      Syrian refugee exchange program.

      • just_jim

        It’s going to take Trump to get Syria to take that deal!

        • Billy Rubin

          Are you sure they’ll take him? Sure, throw him in too, before they have second thoughts!

    • JMP

      How about a time machine to send her back to Rome, circa 100 CE?

    • JustPixelz

      To people like her, that’s AOTK.

    • Thaumaturgist

      Wait. PETA won’t let people eat lions. Best of my knowledge, PETA hasn’t taken a position on lions eating people.

      • Amy!

        Yes, but Kim Davis? If PETA won’t take a stand, the ASPCA will. That’s just wrong.

        • Beaumarchais?

          AKC LIBULZ!!1! She’s ours!

          • Amy!

            Okay! Okay. AKC can have her.

            ASPCA is protecting the lion.

            That woman’s poison.

          • Duckbudder

            Kim Davis: BIP (Best In Pound).

    • jmk

      I would contribute to a ticket for her to visit the lovely Swat Valley for a while. It’s a world-renowned beauty spot. Good luck with the missionarying, Kimmie, cupcake!

  • DerrickWildcat

    Evangelicals ain’t ever happy unless they’re angry about something.

    • JMP

      And what makes them most angry is the thought that other people who are not like them might be happy.

  • Joshua Norton

    But, but… What about her freedumbs to force you to practice her religion? You’re all making babby jesus cry!!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      They never seem to comprehend that part.

    • Duckbudder

      Fuck him, he needs to grow up.

  • DerrickWildcat

    Orange is the new Bigot.

  • Sgt. Gym Bunny

    So, we can’t judge her because she’s been “forgiven”? Well, has it ever crossed her maggotty-bigoty mind that those sinners she’s denying a civil marriage license have been forgiven, too????

    Yes, Kim Davis, you are a GODDAMN HYPOCRITE!!!!!!

    • Logic of Color

      Jesus can forgive her all he wants. That doesn’t count for shit with the rest of us. She’s still a hypocrite.

  • JohnR

    Maybe Huckabee can schedule a conjugal visit once Kim’s back in the pokey.

    • chicken thief

      He’ll dress up like a girl and sneak into the showers.

  • The Doctor (5th)

    Strange…
    That picture of her holding the cross above, reminded me of the Carrie’s mother (played by Piper Laurie) in the first movie version of ‘Carrie’.

    • MsAnthropesMr

      Dirty pillows, indeed.

      • The Doctor (5th)

        LOL!
        I wasn’t even thinking of that.

      • Gleem-McShinez

        They’re freshly laundered, so she says.

    • Anarchy Pony

      Fun fact, she didn’t think people were supposed to take her dialogue seriously.

  • MsAnthropesMr

    GOd never forgave me for that time I stole her girlfriend.

  • JMP

    “See, because in Jesusland, nobody ever has to take responsibility for their actions, as long as they state that Jesus has washed their sins away.”

    They don’t even have to apologize and atone to those they’ve wronged, and say the rosary a bunch of times to apologize to god and Mary? Man, Protestants are weird – and lazy; they don’t seem to get how feeling guilty is supposed to be at the heart of the whole sin thing, and religion in general.

    • jmk

      Once saved, always saved… it’s like buying a permanent Get Out of Guilt card.

  • nightmoth

    “People are saying you’re a hypocrite. Are you?”
    “No, I’m forgiven,” Davis says. “Washed clean.”

    “Jesus said to him ‘Sin no more, lest a worse thing come unto you.’ ”
    John 5:14

    Christianity, Kim—You’re doing it wrong.

    • MsAnthropesMr

      That’s YOUR Xtianity, moth – not hers – and hers is the right one.

  • Logic of Color

    which are different from whatever God ordains in her little bigot brain

    So god is a lady-god and has a bigot brain?

  • Notreelyhelping

    Remember: when using the “but some of my best friends are…” bit, don’t forget the “they’re great one to one, but you get ’em in a crowd….”

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Get ’em in a crowd and you’re on a one-way trip to Fabulous Town.

  • goonemeritus

    Maybe she can get God to represent her in her court case, I
    would imagine his billable rate is pretty stiff however.

  • exinkwretch

    Imagine for a moment just how many of you are living in sin because your marriage hasn’t been personally sanctified by Jesus’ special messenger on Earth, Kim Davis.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    She is just using up some other idiot’s 15 minutes at this point.

    • SterWonk

      How many idiots’ 15 minutes did has Sarah Palin use been using up?

      • MsAnthropesMr

        OOOOH I got this one.

        AOTK

      • DoILookAmused2u ?

        Enough to keep a couple of Walmarts in business?

  • Tansy Geek

    It would be fun if she didn’t get re-elected because her “constituents” were tired of the media shit-show and paying for her personal bigotry with their tax monies.

    • marxalot

      There’s been an awful lot of press about how she’s drawing pay for not doing her job. Just sayin’.

      • cmd

        Time off to go to jail. Time off for a rally w/Huckabee. Take the rest of week off to rest up from jail, and read fan mail. Time off to do TV interview at the family ranch. Time off to film MeGYN Kelly interview. Time off to go back to court (hopefully). Time off for more jail, maybe.

        • bookish

          Sounds almost like a grifter hustle, doesn’t it?

    • SterWonk

      Paying her salary for not doing her job, and having to pay court costs as a result of her not doing her job, and having to pay for her incarceration for her contempt of court by continuing to not do her job…

      • drbloor

        Pfft. She’s white, silly commenter.

  • diogenez

    I am fresh out of fucks to give about this clown hag.

    Can we please just get her out of the spotlight?

    • clubseal

      Kentucky Clown Hag has a nice screen name ring to it.

      • diogenez

        I agree – thanks!

  • Lizzietish81

    Meanwhile, there is a campaign of straight guys making out just for her annoyance

    http://www.thefrisky.com/2015-09-22/straight-guys-make-out-to-spite-kim-davis-as-she-continues-to-not-do-her-job/

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      Yeah, sure wink, wink.

      • Logic of Color

        I ain’t buying it either

    • MsAnthropesMr

      I’m thinking that from some of those pictures, some of those dudes are really into it, while others are just lying back and thinking of England.

    • That. Is. Awesome.

    • JustPixelz

      I would like to kiss Michelle Obama #KissesForKim. But her husband has at least six SEAL teams. Plus nuclear weapons. Maybe I should kiss someone else.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        I’ve made the offer to Michelle if she ever wants to dump her loser husband, I’ll be happy to take her to dinner-and-a-movie.

        • bozilingus

          “dinner-and-a-movie” Is that what the kids are calling it now?

          • riledupone

            Netflix and chill the young’uns call it.

      • Anarchy Pony

        Originally the numbering of the seal teams was inaccurate as a means to fool spies.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Warshed clean. Just like the guy who knocked over the Piggly Wiggly in Tupalo.

    • Reddishrabbit

      “I’ve been washed clean, let me out of jail now, doesn’t matter about all that robbery I committed”

    • Zippy

      in all fairness, that guy just wanted a taste of Tupelo honey

      • MsAnthropesMr

        Straight from the bee.

        • Zippy

          that’s what the tiny cameras are for…

    • TheBidenator

      He said he was innocent of those charges…

  • Reddishrabbit

    I believe deeply that the law needs to be changed for Kim. Specifically, if you go ro jail for contempt you are automatically fired.

  • Bill Slider

    Ms Davis failed, no doubt, to receive that brand new boat, to use her term, that she said she was going to get by being a martyr and going to jail. So, it’s Liberty Counsel whore some more for her. Something tells me that Ahmed made her clock, and her 15 minutes of fame has, indeed, expired.

  • memzilla

  • JustPixelz

    “No, I’m forgiven,” Davis says. “Washed clean.”

    Christianity has no moral standards.

    • Zippy

      the Holy get-out-of jail-free card

    • Logic of Color

      The scary thing is — they consider their beliefs to be the pinnacle of morality. The rest of us are incapable of morality without their guidance.

    • greyXstar

      I have serious doubts about the forgiveness levels some of these scumbags claim. The Jesus I read about as a wee lad would not have condoned treating people like dog shit in his name, or diddling of little sisters.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        That’s the hippy Jesus of the gospels, not the modified proper Roman Citizen Jesus of the rest of the New Testament.

        • greyXstar

          For a monotheistic religion, there sure are alot of different sets of rules.

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          Not even that Jesus. The Jesus these people pray to is the old Testament Jesus.

      • JustPixelz

        I think I see the problem. You learned about actual Jesus instead of American Jesus.

        • greyXstar

          Ohhhh okay, II think I got it straight now. American Jesus is the white one what is a super jerkface, right?

  • Ergoetal

    Kim,
    You’re a miserable piece of shit and I hate you.
    — God

  • elviouslyqueer

    Dammit, I’m gonna have to change my Kim Davis Halloween costume from the floor-length chevron skirt and jumper ensemble to prison stripes. And stripes do nothing for me. Thanks for nothing, you sanctimonious hag.

    • MsAnthropesMr

      Which way – horizontal or vertical?

      • elviouslyqueer

        Horizontal.

        *looks down at rugby shirt I’m wearing*

        Crap.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    “No, I’m forgiven,” Davis says. “Washed clean.”

    Yes – but you still have a 4th marriage, which you should renounce. Jesus forgave you for the other 3, but he didn’t make them disappear from history.

  • VandeGraf

    Time to do one of three things: 1. Change the basis of Kim’s job so that another agency can legally issue and record marriage licenses (reducing her HUGE salary commensurately with the lightened workload and the cost of said different agency), 2, Throw Kim back in the pokey until she relents and gets with the program, or 3. Impeach Kim and replace her (and her legally deviant patronage offspring) with someone who will do the work.

    • Or, 4. Just fire her ass.

      • Actually, this was covered in no. 3, but does she have to be impeached? Why not just fired?

        • Lizzietish81

          Yes.

        • Angry_Cop

          She’s elected. Can’t be fired.

          • Logic of Color

            Send Donald in there. He can fire anyone.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            Alas, this is true. She was elected by people, most of whom probably had no idea that she’d bring Mike Hucksterbee AND Rafael Cruz to town to pander.

    • Angry_Cop

      1. Requires changing of laws and statutes by State of Kentucky.
      2. Great idea.
      3. Requires action by Kentucky State legislature that they probably aren’t willing to do.

  • laineypc

    “I can’t put my name on a license that doesn’t represent what God ordained marriage to be.” and then….”I think dignity is something that you find within yourself. I feel really sad that someone could be so unhappy with themselves as a person that they did not feel dignified as a human being until they got a piece of paper.”

    So according to Kim, God ordained marriage for people without any internal sense of dignity. She gives out the licenses with sadness and pity for the straights, but not for the gays, I am guessing because… ? I haz confuze.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      God, sweetheart, doesn’t enter into this. It’s a civil contract. You can get married in a church all you want to, but it doesn’t count in legal terms unless you’ve committed to the civil contract part, and we don’t give a flying fuck about which branch of Abrahamic dumbfuckery you’re involved in, or if it’s Hindu, or Taoist, or friggin’ Zeus worship.

  • calliecallie

    Something I’ve been wondering about and perhaps some clever Kentucky Wonkateer can enlighten me…the Gov could call a special session of the Lege to get the forms changed – or maybe impeach her – but he doesn’t want to do it, because tax dollars. But could it maybe also be connected to the fact that they still need to make some kind of legislative change so that Rand can run for both preznit and his senate seat? Or maybe I see political conspiracy at every turn. Thoughts?

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      No, you probably have it there. Sort of how Mitten’s Mate ran for VP and his seat pretty sure hey had to special ammend that too.

    • bobbert

      The KY Repubes already fixed that by changing to a caucus for picking their delegates, so Randy doesn’t have to run in the primary.

      • calliecallie

        Thank you! Bastards.

  • DerrickWildcat

    They sure pick terrible people to rally around.

    • Thaumaturgist

      Terrible people is all they’ve got. Rally around them or the don’t rally. How would you feel if you couldn’t rally?

      • Angry_Cop

        Pretty relaxed.

      • Lefty Frizzell

        I used to love watching the rallies back in the old days when it was all Hillman Imps, Mini Coopers, Ford Escorts and Roger Clark’s 4wd Capri. Murray Walker commentating. Jon Pertwee/Tom Baker Dr Who followed. Crumpets round the fire. Oh good times, wish I was back there right now….

  • Lizzietish81

    Didn’t Ben Carson say something about how people should forswear religious law if they want to be electable?

    • MsAnthropesMr

      No, just Sharia. Xtianity is fine.

      • JustPixelz

        Gay marriage is against Sharia Law. KIM DAVIS IS ENFORCING SHARIA LAW!!!1!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Well, that only applies to those who follow FALSE religions. You know, like how Southern Baptists objected to Carson speaking at one of their conferences because he’s one of those godless Seventh-Day Adventists.

    • greyXstar

      That only counts for the Muslinz, you silly goose.

    • JustPixelz

      IOKIYAC.

  • elviouslyqueer

    “No, I’m forgiven,” Davis says. “Washed clean.”

    Sweetheart, no amount of Jesus Bleach and God’s Liquid Kaboom Detergent and Fabric Softener is going to wash away your hypocrisy.

  • JustPixelz

    When Jesus comes back*, Kim Davis is one of the first people he’s going tell to go fuck themselves. God told me that.
    ______________________________________________
    * He’s not coming back. Have you seen the kind of people his followers have become?

    • grmpy

      Even though god doesnt love her. Har har

    • Thaumaturgist

      by the time Jeus comes back, KIM’S GOING TO KNOW SHE’S BEEN LEFT BEHIND!

  • “No, I’m forgiven,” Davis says. “Washed clean.”
    ===========

    Smug piece of shit, isn’t she?
    ~

    • cessnadriver

      Standard religious BS. She also said that she is no longer of this world. Proves she has no business in public office.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        If she is no longer of this world, then she has no need for an $80k a year position.

      • Gleem-McShinez

        Here, hop in this catapult, so we can assist you on your way up to where the angels go!

    • April

      This is the Standard Operating Procedure of some fundamentalist Christians who have hurt someone and do not want to take responsibility (or feel remorse) for what they did. In other words a Get Out Of Jail card for being a sociopath.

      This was what happened with a co-worker who sexually and physically abused me. They repented and as far as their were concerned they didn’t need to apologize or make things right.

    • VandeGraf

      But she was such a filthy slag that standing out in a rainstorm would have done the trip. Instead, Jebus took time out from his busy schedule plotting against food stamps to give her a rubdown with holy snake oil.

  • YayConspiracy

    I’ve been called Hitler, a hypocrite, a homophobe… Well, honey, that is because you are AOT,K.

  • Me not sure

    Has no one asked her if she took her oath of office with her hand on a Bible and ended it with “so help me God.” If so, she has created a real conflict of beliefs.

  • Thaumaturgist

    So when she decides to ditch her current spouse to marry her jail wife, is she going to sign that marriage license?

  • AutumnWytch

    The only reason she’s doing this is because she knows she’ll never find another cush job that will fork over $80K a year for her sad sack of a sorry ass. I hope the judge doesn’t throw her in jail. I hope he hits her where it really hurts ~ the wallet.

    • Angry_Cop

      Again, the judge is not willing to fine her because he knows (and has said so) it will simply be paid by others.

      • cessnadriver

        Federal judges can also order the perp to prove that the money to pay fines came out of their own funds. The repig judge is just splitting hairs.

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          Can he? I am not so sure. Seems to me that would be unlegal to say you cannot take this gift from this person and pay that fine

          • bozilingus

            Shouldn’t any gift of cash be declared as income to the IRS? I thought only family members could gift up to $9999 without there being any tax issues.

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            Charitable donations might fall under another category, but I am not that familiar with them to know 100%

          • bobbert

            She isn’t a 501c(3), so donations to her aren’t tax deductible, and they are regular income to her.

            Granted, given the shitty enforcement of tax law in this area, someone could set up a 501c(3) to take donations and funnel the money to her for “speaking fees” or something, but it would still be income to her.

          • cessnadriver

            Federal judges have very wine latitude in contempt matters. We have a judge her in SoCal who requires that people he fine prove that they are paying from their own funds.

        • chicken thief

          Money is fungible. So she pays a fine with a check from her personal funds and then gets reimbursed by the fucknuts that love her.

          Jail the bitch.

  • greyXstar

    “I have given no authority to write a marriage license, they did not have my permission”

    YOU’RE NOT THE GRAND POOBAH OR WHATEVER THE FUCK!!!

    • Angry_Cop

      No, but she is the designated legal authority for the writing of said licenses. So, she’s not the Grand Poobah, but she can and has brought this whole process to a grinding halt. I expect to see her in jail within two days. But the licenses cannot proceed without her unless Kentucky changes several laws.

      • greyXstar

        That old Daily Show Jesusland bit is starting to sound better and better all the time.

  • btwbfdimho

    Today, I saw Jesús walking on the Río Grande!

  • OneYieldRegular

    Won’t Kim Davis be surprised when St. Peter orders her into that long line way off to the side of the pearly gates:

    “Sorry, lady. Motes and beams, ya know. You were all hung up on the gay thing, but how about those thousand other admonitions in the Bible that you violated, some of them repeatedly? Off with ya.”

    • Ducksworthy

      I suspect that Ms. Davis will be directed down to the mezzanine level, condemned to spend eternity with Leviticus and his followers.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    What did she make that cross with? Popsicle sticks?

    • Gleem-McShinez

      CORN DAWG LEAVINS FOR THE LORD

    • elviouslyqueer

      Kindergarten Sunday school project LIBEL!

    • chicken thief

      Nah, mang, those would leave splinters in her hoo-ha.

  • OneDemin EOr

    Bitch has one gay friend and his name is Lindsay Graham.
    Sorry, there’s just no other word for Bitchy Bitch McBitchness.
    Bitch.

  • btwbfdimho

    This cat is looking for a same-same-same-sex marriage license.
    https://www.facebook.com/194417627315445/videos/877619088995292/?pnref=story

  • TheBidenator

    Kim you may be alright with the lord but the United States government is a little more hard nosed when it comes to your law breaking….

    That Kim Davis is dumber than a bag of hammers being given by an exceptionally stupid man as a bouquet of flowers to a moronic woman. Which is I believe how she was courted by her husband Jethro….

  • Angry_Cop

    Here in my not-very-small city, the County Clerk has an insane amount of power. Not only do they handle marriages, they handle all the real estate title records AND control the assessed value of your home/property/business – which dictates your property taxes.

    Our local clerk could easily ruin someone’s life if he wanted, no problem at all.

    Kim Davis has even more power. In addition to all of the above, she also directly handles, as per the Rowan Couty website: “registering and purging voter rolls, and conducting election duties and tax duties.”

    She has a stranglehold on every single person in that county. No wonder her family keeps winning elections. No wonder nobody will challenge her. She plays a weeping simpleton very well, but she isn’t one by any stretch of the imagination. More like a Mafia boss.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Welll… far be it from me to say anything in this awful person’s defense, but I don’t know that having an enviable position of (relative) wealth and power in her county necessitates that she be either a rocket scientist or a master strategist. If she were calculating and self-serving, she never would have started on this whole thing (the grifter cash is temporary and can’t beat a steady paycheck in the long run). I think she, like many other people, has a kind of oppositional and attention-seeking emotional disorder that finds convenient justification in ostensibly “sincerely held religious beliefs.”

    • chicken thief

      Hopefully Brian Mason will run agin her next time. Or to fill her vacant seat should she be incarcerated.

    • HeywoodJablomey

      She’s the queen of her own little dynastic family fiefdom. That’s the fucking problem- she refuses to believe that the SCOTUS or any other court is ‘the boss of her’. Her religious conviction is nothing but a prop her in her overwrought drama.

      • Angry_Cop

        Nailed it right there.

  • Mavenmaven

    Note how at 1:03 she makes that Sarah Palin face. I couldn’t watch beyond that.

    • beatbort

      You made it to 1:03?!!! I can’t even look at still photographs of her.

  • beatbort

    Judge Bunning, the ball is in your court. Literally. Please knock it out of the park.

    • Priya Lynn

      You obviously don’t know what literally means,

      • beatbort

        Why don’t you enlighten me, then, as to the meaning.

        • Priya Lynn

          There was no actual ball, so it is false to claim “the ball is literally in his court”. You mean the ball was figuratively speaking in his court. You mean its his turn to take action.

          Literally – “actually; without exaggeration or inaccuracy”

      • bobbert

        Because language evolves with usage, several dictionaries now show a second definition for “literally”, and it is, essentially, “figuratively”.*

        Literally.

        * I don’t like this, but it is nevertheless a fact.

        • Priya Lynn

          To use the word literally when one is speaking figuratively is to make the word literally meaningless.

          • BackDoorMan

            “To use the word literally when one is speaking figuratively is to make the word literally meaningless”. While true, this is precisely what has happened to the word literally, having been misused for so long, it’s become accepted in the “I know what you mean” way. SNL had a recurring skit based on the Literally! theme some years ago, so this has been going on forever – figuratively speaking.
            I wish everyone would use words correctly, but since that’s never going to be the case I will consider the battle over literally/figuratively essentially lost.

  • whitroth

    Ok, Kim,

    I got some information for you:: from a quick google, from the Kentucky Constitution, section 228, oath of office for officers and attorneys:

    **********
    Members of the General Assembly and all officers, before they enter upon the execution of the duties of their respective offices, and all members of the bar, before they enter upon the practice of their profession, shall take the following oath or affirmation: I do solemnly swear (or affirm, as the case may be) that I will support the Constitution of the United States and the Constitution of this Commonwealth, and be faithful and true to the Commonwealth of Kentucky so long as I continue a citizen thereof, and that I will faithfully execute, to the best of my ability, the office of …. according to law; and I do further solemnly swear (or affirm) that since the adoption of the present Constitution, I, being a citizen of this State, have not fought a duel with deadly weapons within this State nor out of it, nor have I sent or accepted a challenge to fight a duel with deadly weapons, nor have I acted as second in carrying a challenge, nor aided or assisted any person thus offending, so help me God.
    ************
    See the part where it *STARTS* *OUT* by saying that you WILL support the Constitution of the United States? And by claiming God ™ is above that, while the First Amendment says no laws enforcing religion? You have violated your Oath of Office, God ™ has not helped you, and you are foreswarn. Now, let’s see what your Big Book says – isn’t there something in it about THOU SHALT NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS?

    You are *so* out of there, scum.

    mark

    • jmk

      She clearly took the name of her god in vain also too. Her Bible is pretty clear that people who swear oaths by that God character and then don’t follow through are hosed.

  • BillWestern

    Yep, “touched” by the Grace of God indeed. Its an old expression my grandma used to use about people who weren’t all there. “That neighbor boy Otto is a bit touched”. And Kim speaks for God…

  • Jen_Baker_VA

    Kim, Kim, Kim…..
    Redemption only works when you are sorry AND you stop committing/no longer commit whatever sin you did AND you rectify (fix, make up for, make right) whatever sin you dun committed.
    Also too, aw, did the grift dollars stop rolling in so you had to manufacture another ploy?

  • Thaumaturgist

    Came back to this post a second time and, on second glance, noticed the cross in Kim’s hand. The cross was not photoshopped. It’s in the ABC tape.

    Can you imagine the satisfaction this whole business gives Kim Davis? Posturing as Jesus Own County Clerk? Like The King’s Own Fusileers or something? While people like Wonketeers have aligned themselves with Satan. Not even the pope is this holy.

    • BackDoorMan

      … the pope is certainly not this sanctimonious.

  • Gleem-McShinez

    Here’s how civilization works: Do your job. If your job conflicts with your beliefs, you don’t hold everything up. You go get another job.

    Now these fundamentalist idiots want to change it. If your beliefs conflict with your job, you simply don’t have to do it. Just say, sorry, everyone, can’t help, not my fault, TALK TO GOD ABOUT IT.

    Also, if you aren’t the right religion (say, Muslim) then you should not even get an opportunity to do the job (say, President.) Even with that “no religious test” sort of thing built into the very Constitution that states how this civilized nation should operate, that part we can ignore now. Because whatever, TALK TO GOD ABOUT IT.

    Fuck these radicals, trying to overturn centuries of civilization. There is absolutely nothing Conservative about these turd-urges.

  • JH Marx

    She has a friend ?/!!11??

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      Allll conservative religious nutwings have this one gay friend, who may be a friend of a friend, or a brother’s friend, but they all have that one gay friend.
      I am starting to think it is the same one, who gets around a LOT. Because surely there can a:not be that many gay people in the country considering they are, supposedly, 3% of the population and b:not be that many gay people with such horrific tastes in friends

      • Joseph Miceli

        Is that what happened to “Sassy Gay Friend?” He rented himself out to conservatives?

      • Wassamatta U Alumnus

        Darn. Busted. I confess, I am that “that one gay friend.” Have you any idea how many people I know? Gazillions!!

        • riledupone

          No wonder you’ve covered your head.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Obviously not a good friend, because gay friends don’t let hair like that go out in public.

      • nmmagyar

        Funnt thing: I am not only gay, but I live with one of the best hair guys in my state, and I really could give two shits about hair

      • dshwa

        She probably thinks of him as a friend. He probably secretly hates her more than enough to let her go out in public like that.

      • Lord-Nash

        “gay friends don’t let hair like that go out in public”

        Maybe BEFORE this douchefuckery.

  • thewitchqueen74

    These people always have a gay friend. Or a black friend. Or a (insert minority figure here) friend. Fuck her and all the hypocrites that think like her. Stop making my home state look even more fucking stupid than usual.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      What about a gay black blind musim friend?
      Also, Kentutcky’s cool, and at least only half as batshit crazy as Florida.

      • thewitchqueen74

        Hey, they could have a gay black blind Muslim friend and cover all the bases, lol. And yeah, KY is pretty cool. At least we don’t have bath salt infected face eating zombies. Yet.

        • nmmagyar

          Said friend would need to be in a wheelchair also, too.

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            darn I knew I missed one.

          • BackDoorMan

            … make it a homeless vet in a wheelchair and I think you’ve got it covered.

        • Biff52

          But then again, you have Mitch and Rand.

          KY is also sort of an ancestral home for me, as my paternal grandparents lived in Beaver Lick.

          • thewitchqueen74

            Oh goodness, don’t remind me about Mitch and Rand, ugh. We’ll never be rid of Mitch until he dies, I’m afraid.

            I’m born, raised, and still live in KY. Beaver Lick is in Boone County, right? Never been there, but I’ve visited Big Bone Lick State Park :)

          • Biff52

            Yep. What is it with Kentuckians and licks, anyway?

          • thewitchqueen74

            That is an excellent question and one I don’t have an answer for, lol.

          • Biff52

            I suspect it’s the marble-mouthed pronunciation of “lake”, but I’m a generation removed from there and can’t say for sure.

  • bookish

    She should be housed in the general population with the rest of the repeat offenders and do the full term. She was coddled the last time. Enough.

  • Last Hussar

    “Hi, while heterosexual, my fiancée and I are atheists, and reject marriage as a divine idea. Can we have our licences now?”

  • Lizzietish81

    Been awhile since I whipped this one out….

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YX7tbhK7WRs

  • Gleem-McShinez

    Are you a hypocrite?

    I am, but it’s ok because I just came from the Jesus Laundromat.

    • William_C_Diaz

      Did you get their ‘Washed in the Blood of the Lamb’ special? I always thought it was a gyp because you always have to send the whites through again to get the stains off of them.

      Have a great day!

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        ok that made me lol

        • William_C_Diaz

          I like joking and laughing as much as the next person not allowed to comment on these boards, I just hold facts in high regard when talking about killing other people. As a former soldier, I am truly ashamed of my government’s and military’s conduct over the last 15 or so years and believe it was enabled by the average citizen’s lack of intellectual curiosity about the doings of our nation in their name.

          Have a great day!

          • HeywoodJablomey

            Though the average citizen may be ignorant of our military’s shenanigans abroad, it must be said that the average citizen is kept in the dark or lied to about those shenanigans. Furthermore, are you saying that even if the populace were fully informed, we could do anything to stop military intervention/action? Because the MIC, POTUS and Congress are so responsive to the wishes of the citizens? Haha, that’s cute.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    If god loved her, it would be raining hair cream rinse down on her head when she showers.

  • Gleem-McShinez

    Hey Christians? Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you’ve got some motherfucking snakes on your plane.

  • Dear Kim,

    I HATE you.

    Fucking cry about that, ya big baby.

    xoxoxox,
    GOD

    • Hardly Ideal

      PS: While you’re at it, climb off the cross and use the wood to build a bridge and GET OVER IT.

  • zerosumgame0005

    sorry for the commercial but Betty has a word or two for Kimmie-pie

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=3&v=OFkeKKszXTw

  • gratuitous

    Mrs. Davis appears to be every bit as good a lawyer as she is a theologian.

  • dshwa

    ….

  • Iam Reading

    Is Kim transgender? Look at the sideburns, facial structure, and moobs. Could explain why she is heaping it on teh gehys…….distraction.

  • aureolaborealis

    The preacher says all my sins is warshed away, including that Piggly Wiggly I knocked over in Yazoo.

    — Delmar O’Donnell

  • elpinche

    Maybe Davis will find a nice xian girlfriend in jail since jail turns you gay and all.

  • Todd

    Fox won’t do it, but someone needs to ask Kimmy about how she let her adult daughter steal a dog from its owner (caught on camera) and actively intervened to be sure her daughter kept the dog. So Christian like ….something new for God to ‘wash clean’

    • bookish

      Link?

      • bookish
        • bookish

          Pageonekentucky has a follow-up article dated July 10, 2015.

        • Dee Andee

          Sheesus. If anyone needs proof that Kim Davis is nothing but a corrupt sociopath, having fun being a big fish in a little pond, taking joy in persecuting other people and denying them justice, they can read that article. Looks like she and everyone in her whole family can take whatever they want from anyone, and nothing will be done. Jail, jail, JAIL this bitch!

          • bookish

            So much for the fake humility schtick.

        • Angry_Cop

          Holy mother of God. This woman is everything I thought she was but far, far worse.

          They’ve got their own little fiefdom of evil up there in the hills, don’t they? Own the county, the courts, the cops, all of it. No wonder her staff is terrified of her.

          • Wassamatta U Alumnus

            Probably a barn full of corn, several cases of Mason jars, and some peculiar looking copper apparatus, also too.

          • handyhippie65

            mebbe she is boss hogette?

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Just . . . wow.
          And the woman, supposedly, is elected? I don’t suppose the votes are tallied by the county clerk…

        • BehaveYrself

          Oh, look at that heathen selfie addict of a daughter. Lying on a bed with another girl and giving the lesbian tongue through the fingers pose?! Tattoos?! Making out with boys?! Marlboros?! And her job is listed as “Youth Leader”? Karma on the move, my friends!

          https://www.facebook.com/allison.king.758/photos

          ps Of course, I checked to see if she is over 18 before posting link. She is.

          • SuspectedDemocrat

            That’s your future county clerk right there.

  • Ilgattomorte

    From my reading of the bible, homosexuality is the abomination (IT’S NOT), not gay marriage. In other words, gay people are abominating before they walk in to the court house and they continue to abominate after they leave. The sin has already happened and nothing that Lil’ Kim does can change that. The license is a civil document, so in biblical terms, it belongs to Caesar and has no meaning to God. God doesn’t care about government action, he only cares about the actions of his flock and he’s made it pretty clear he doesn’t need us doing his judgement for him. Most people are arguing this logically or legally, but Kim’s argument doesn’t really make sense religiously.

    If there’s no religious reason to deny a license, then her actions must only exist to punish the sinner. If that’s the case, then her position is unconstitutional in the most basic sense and the court had no choice but to decide as it did. You can’t deny rights to any individual because you disapprove of their lifestyle, their beliefs or where they decide to put their genitals.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      There is no religious objection stand even if homogay marriage was the sin itself.
      She is not marrying them, that will be a judge or JP, or priest or minister or elvis maybe. She is not making it so they are able to get married, that is the government that lets you do that or not. All she is supposed to do is give them a paper from the state, which is part of her job. Just a paper pusher, nothing religious about it, even a little.

    • nowhereman

      Maybe all the gay couples who want marriage licenses should just go up to the clerk and tell her that they made it right with the voice in their heads and he said they’re all clean now and good to go to get married, just like Jeebus told her after her 3rd divorce and random sinning. Let their saviors fight it out in court, I say, and let’s get their gods in here to testify. We need to settle this crap once and for all: WHOSE GOT THE BIGGEST GODS OF THEM ALL! (Appallogees to AC/DC)

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      IKR, nobody needs a license to have sex. We are already having sex. Sex has nothing to do with wanting to a marriage license.

  • Lord-Nash

    The judge told her NONE OF THESE, KATIE!

    • handyhippie65

      ooooh, let me go git my broom!

  • canuck13652

    She’s made that people say that God doesn’t love her? You mean what her and her ilk tell GAY KIDS EVERY SINGLE DAY?

    • starfanglednut

      I know! The lack of self-awareness is truly mind boggling.

    • Also people keep calling Davis a hypocrite. I wonder why?

  • DahBoner

    “I brought you a slice of our wedding cake. But since you can’t eat it DIABEETUS then I’ll just have to eat it myself….”

    https://media4.giphy.com/media/yO5ePujNLWPPq/200w_d.gif

  • Jgb979

    Your God does not love you and you are a hypocrite Christian.

  • Ron Jones

    She’s Carrie’s mom……

    • Dee Andee

      But instead of using telekinesis, her daughter just steals other people’s pets.

    • Actually I think she’s the pigs blood.

  • nowhereman

    Put her in jail and keep her away from the microphone. Take away her buybull and give her a 5th grade history and civics book to study, and yes, there will be a quiz in the morning.

  • Badger33

    Her sideburns are ratty.

    • Angry_Cop

      I was just thinking she looks like Meatloaf.

      I mean the fourth-rate musical “talent”, not the food.

      • Badger33

        “Paradise by the Dashboard Light” describes how her larvae were conceived.

        • handyhippie65

          the back seat boogaloo, as it were.

      • JurisGal

        That’s it! I kept thinking ‘ she looks like a guy I’ve seen before’

      • Greg Comlish

        “Oh I would do anything for attention …”

      • Danny Biando

        Actually she does look a little like Meatloaf, the food.

      • Lynne Stevens

        I was thinking more along the Sister-Wives line.

      • paltroony

        Actually she does look a little like meat loaf, the food. I bet if she took off all her clothes she’d look like a big ‘ol pork roast.

        • starfanglednut

          Oh thanks, now I can never eat meatloaf again.

      • You took the words right out of my mouth.

      • handyhippie65

        hey now, bat out of hell was awesome. i wore out a cassette tape when i was a young.

      • LeftCoastLeftie

        is that your final answer
        (and thanks, i’ll probably never eat meat loaf again)

  • docterry6973

    A few months in the can won’t hurt her. See ‘Daniel, Lion’s Den’.

  • eddi

    Round and round she goes and where it stops… well jail again this time. And they better reserve the cell until the next county elections, if not beyond.

  • Red state socialist

    She has got to keep the internet donations coming. Just be a hateful freak in public. Or stalk and kill a skittle eating black kid, or shoot a black kid in the head, then call him a demon. And the right wing monsters will put you on easy street.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Kimmy is totally last week’s news – Hucksterbee and Cruz definitely won’t be around to share the publicity sacrifice this time. I’d bet $10,000 on it (where’s Mitt when you finally, for once, actually need him?)

  • Red state socialist

    Kim Davis will soon run for state office or governorship of Kentucky. Maybe even for the POTUS.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    I wonder if the Oath Keepers will be there to “protect” her.

    • handyhippie65

      nah, she told them to go away once.

      • Land Shark

        And that’s stopped them before how again?

        • handyhippie65

          well. you know what they say about a lover spurned.

  • Rufus T. Firefly

    You think you know the will of God? Kinda fucking arrogant.

    • Platos_Redhaired_Stepchild

      I’m sure Kim Davis does believe that it’s the will of God she gets rich and famous from this dog and pony show.

    • handyhippie65

      well, it is what the voices in her head tell her, and god talks to the faithful ALL of the time, right? he’s like a celestial chatty cathy doll.

  • Cismontane

    Maybe this time around Ted Cruz will manage to outwit Huckabee’s goons and actually find his way to a camera in Kim’s venerable presence.

    • LeftCoastLeftie

      He’s probably headed that way as we speak.

    • Land Shark

      Assuming Teddy & Mikey are still preznitial wanna-bes candidates ….

  • Greg Comlish

    People rarely confuse Kim Davis with Jim Davis, but they often confuse her with Garfield.

    • andrew

      That’s insulting to Garfield.

  • Wassamatta U Alumnus

    This is surreal. Were I the Judge, (thankfully for her I am not) I would jail her. Here are your options toots: You swear to follow the order of this court too the letter or you resign. No? Then I hold you in contempt until someone else is elected who will follow the order of this court. If by some chance you are re-elected (stranger things have happened) I will release you to take the oath of office and if you fail to discharge your duties back to jail until you see fit to comply. Have a good day and my warmest regards to your significant other, Myrtle.

  • Anarchy Pony

    Too bad the LiberalHateAmerica douche from yesterday isn’t here to gush about how she’s a hero.

  • Zhu Bajie

    So, is Fund-a-Fanatic giving her big bucks?

  • Scooter

    The only hope we have is to send Davis a year supply of gay Doritos.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      But she’d probably eat them all in only a week.

    • And than have the jail give her only gay Doritos.

      “I’ll starve to death before I eat those, I will be a martyr!”

      • blaid droog

        She has a long way to go before that starvation thing happens.

        • x_therefore_y

          We’ve filed it under “Things that may take a while.”

        • Haha.

    • Karen Marie

      I think we should take up a collection to buy her a bra.

      • Comrade Wingtardd 5467p

        how about a new fucking smock , err, dress, with a built in bra?

    • Ranina

      With a special melted butter dip to accompany them.

  • Comrade Wingtardd 5467p

    Jail her again and she will grow stronger than you can imagine.

    • andrew

      She’s not Obi Wan.

      • Comrade Wingtardd 5467p

        Lizard folk do have their power ups tho. This pic is post consumption of the glowing nukular power up she found in the AL jail toilet

    • handyhippie65

      awww, you made her as pretty on the outside as she is on the inside.

  • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

    One day she will be as relevant as Linda Tripp (who?).

  • the_heckler

    What song do you think will be playing when she gets out of jail this time? I have my money on “I want to break free” by Queen.

    • sillyclucker

      She better not! Queen is my all time favorite. She can use “All By Myself” by Eric Carmen (I restrained myself from typing Eric Cartman).

      • handyhippie65

        that would really piss off freddy mercury, to have his music associated with this, let’s say, individual.

      • the_heckler

        Maybe she’ll come out to the song of Madonna’s “Like a Virgin.’

  • Vegan and Tiara

    Are atheists allowed to get married in America? Asking for a friend.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    If memory serves, that whole forgiveness thing contains a clause to go and sin no more. Sure, the Jeebus-thang can forgive her for sleeping around and weddinging around, but, in order to sin no more, she has to go back to her first husband, because all the weddings after that one aren’t valid in the eyes of God.

    • Left Coast Tom

      Well, sure, if you’re going to listen to that “Jesus” guy…

      • Land Shark

        Is that Jesus guy “Dog Butt Jeebus” or “Gun Humper Jeebus”?

        • david green

          Well, either way he was just a damned hippie wearing a dress.

  • D_C_Wilson

    What makes her a hypocrite isn’t that she’s “sinned” before. It’s that by arbitrarily declaring her sins “washed away” she thinks she’s now entitled to sit in judgment over others.

    Newsflash, Kim: You’re still the same, flawed person you always were, just like the rest of us. Pledging your life to Jeebus doesn’t mean you don’t make mistakes any more.

    • Left Coast Tom

      Well, that’s one of the things that makes her a hypocrite.

      There’s also the fact that she has to be an asshole regarding same-sex marriage because she can only recognized God-Approved-Marriage, with no record that she’s behaved similarly towards opposite-sex couples 1) where one person is Christian and the other not (prohibited per Paul’s letters), or 2) where one or both are re-marrying divorced people such as herself (prohibited per Jesus).

  • Walter Wellstone

    Seriously, she looks like a dude in drag in that picture.

    • blaid droog

      Your remark is an affront to every drag queen I have ever known.

    • LeftCoastLeftie

      Even THIS guy wouldn’t marry her:

      • ButchWagstaff

        But they do have something in common. The Hutts did profit very well from their criminality.

  • sillyclucker

    I wouldn’t be surprised if I heard that the husband (I believe he’s numbers 2 and 4 ) was sending secret info to the judge. She just looks like a real drag to be around. His life is probably a lot more pleasant when she’s gone.

    • LeftCoastLeftie

      Gives a new meaning to “sloppin’ the hawgs”

  • hipsteriac

    There’s eighty thousand reasons a year she won’t quit her job.

  • handyhippie65

    i was discussing the constitution with a deleted comment maker, and i said some thing that was wrong, and went back and read the constitution again. it had been a while. article IV, sections one, and two guarantee gays can marry. article one says all states must recognize the laws of all other states, and the second one says that the citizens of each state shall be entitled to the privileges of all of the states. so, since some states have legalized weed, then all states have to as well. thanx, banhammered dude, i hadn’t thought of that argument.

  • pstockholm

    Stone the bitch for her repeated violations of various Bible ordinances. I forgot the “with votes” part but I’m forgiven.

    • Alex Grey

      If I am forgiven, may I throw the first stone?

      • Land Shark

        And we’ll forgive you for that too also.

    • KenRob

      Washed clean!

  • hvdv

    If I never hear from or about this twatwaffle again, it’ll be too soon.

  • Alex Grey

    “Don’t be like hypocrites, who show off or babble when they pray” Matt 6:5-8, Mark 12:40, Luke 20:47…
    Seems that Jesus has no end of quotes, telling people to pray in private, and NOT to make a big show of praying, or religiousing, in public.

    • ButchWagstaff

      I don’t know why so many people who call themselves Christians don’t seem to remember that verse in Matthew. It’s like they just cherry-pick verses from the Bible which I thought was something true Christians aren’t supposed to do.

      • Alex Grey

        I know… You can’t cherry pick from the New Testament, because Jesus, tells them all to STFU. Also the “Sermon on the Mount” should be a guide for any “Christian”

        • KenRob

          But, but, they don’t like to have peoples pointing out that there IS a New Testament, cuz they can find more good ways to hate in the Old. They don’t want to hear anything that damn socialist Jeebus had to say either or the fact that he’d hate & disapprove of their actions. Might as well be a stone statue with a button to push which will speak the way they want him to. They do it even without the statue.

      • handyhippie65

        don’t you like pie? gotta pick a lot of cherries fer a pie.

  • LeftCoastLeftie

    GIve her a hoodie and a bag of Skittles and send her to Zimmerman’s neighborhood.

    • Mintie

      Need to cut her hair and give her blackface first for that to work.

  • LegionOfDo

    I don’t know why she doesn’t just issue the licenses with the knowledge that Jesus is always ready to issue a “Get Out of Hell Free” card in the form of forgiveness of any and all “sins” that his dearly beloved children (except gays) commit. Maybe she is counting on the fact that dumb people won’t see it that way.

    Regardless of her selective interpretation of the bible’s forgiveness clause, I am anxiously awaiting to hear what her crack legal team is planning to provide as a defense for her latest legal violations. My guess (and my sincere hope) is that they will tell the judge that he only specified that she not interfere with the issuance of the licenses, but that he did not indicate that the licenses needed to be legally valid. Which means, they will argue, that she did not technically violate the court order, and that the judge is a dumb stupid who has to let her go. Popcorn is at the ready…

  • Ryan Denniston

    Can’t she just issue licenses properly, retire at 65, and then ask Jesus for forgiveness? Doesn’t this save her from hell while making people happy?

  • GenuineClass

    If the license is “just a piece of paper,” then why can’t she sign it? She’s implying that it’s not important and that Teh Gayz should realize that it’s just a piece of paper, but at the same time, she says it’s VERY MUCH against God’s will to issue that piece of paper. You can’t have it both ways, honey.

    • Ranina

      x2

    • Mintie

      That stench that’s burning your nose hairs? That’s hypocrisy. Also some microwaved popcorn, but mostly hypocrisy.

  • As showcased, this shitstain on Jesus’s drawers is a hideous pile of logical inconsistencies. She is utterly incapable of going one paragraph without immediately contradicting herself. Luckily Davis interviewed with someone who’s a better softball pitcher, if ya get my meaning.

  • Hey Jesus, next time you “wash her clean” can you throw in a little conditioner too?

  • BackDoorMan

    “I think dignity is something that you find within yourself. I feel
    really sad that someone could be so unhappy with themselves as a person
    that they did not feel dignified as a human being until they got a piece
    of paper
    chance to fuck around with the lives of others.” There – now she’s speaking for herself.

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