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Actually, Texas isn't so big on the 'Thinking' either. Just sit there and don't make trouble, OK?
Actually, Texas isn’t so big on the ‘Thinking’ either. Just sit there and don’t make trouble, OK?

An Irving, Texas, teenager who loves tinkering with electronics and computers learned an important lesson this week about the American values of hard work, individual initiative, and original thinking this week. And that lesson is that if you exhibit those qualities around a bunch of terrified bigots, they’ll suspend you from school and start a criminal investigation into your likely terrorist tendencies. It’s an important lesson that several other kids have learned: Adults are all too often small-minded, bigoted fucks, especially the ones in authority. Really, you can’t teach your children this early enough.

So there’s this smart nerd kid at Irving MacArthur High School named Ahmed Mohamed. He likes to build radios and tinker with his own go-cart — your basic brainiac who’s clearly destined to be a well-paid engineer. As the Dallas Morning News reports, he “loved robotics club in middle school and was searching for a similar niche in his first few weeks of high school.” So he thought it might be cool to show off a little for his engineering teacher, and made a little clock inside a pencil case. Nothing too elaborate; just a little thing he banged out in about 20 minutes before going to bed Sunday. Very simple: “a circuit board and power supply wired to a digital display, all strapped inside a case with a tiger hologram on the front.” And then when he got to school Monday morning, he really started getting more of an education than most 14-year-olds really need:

He showed it to his engineering teacher first thing Monday morning and didn’t get quite the reaction he’d hoped.

“He was like, ‘That’s really nice,’” Ahmed said. “‘I would advise you not to show any other teachers.’”

He kept the clock inside his school bag in English class, but the teacher complained when the alarm beeped in the middle of a lesson. Ahmed brought his invention up to show her afterward.

“She was like, it looks like a bomb,” he said.

“I told her, ‘It doesn’t look like a bomb to me.’”

Well, of course it doesn’t. But YOU look like a bomb-maker to your English teacher, and that, Ahmed, is all that mattered. The teacher confiscated the device, and in sixth period, the school principal and a cop showed up to remove Ahmed from class, and things went from stupid to surreal:

They led Ahmed into a room where four other police officers waited. He said an officer he’d never seen before leaned back in his chair and remarked: “Yup. That’s who I thought it was.”

A really paranoid reader might think the Irving Police Department is keeping Muslim 9th graders under surveillance or something. Ahmed has never been in trouble with the law. Or maybe the cop was merely expecting a Muslim kid. After that came the questioning, in a scene worthy of anything from Catch-22:

The principal threatened to expel him if he didn’t make a written statement, he said.

“They were like, ‘So you tried to make a bomb?’” Ahmed said.

“I told them no, I was trying to make a clock.”

“He said, ‘It looks like a movie bomb to me.’”

Well, there’s your problem! You watch too many movies and have become over-excitable. Oh, and fascist, too. Perhaps you should consider a career in Boston, where public officials have made a specialty out of freaking out over blinking lights.

Irving police acknowledge that Ahmed has consistently said the clock is a clock, and only a clock. Police spokesman James McClellan, another real piece of work, was obviously not impressed:

“We have no information that he claimed it was a bomb,” McLellan said. “He kept maintaining it was a clock, but there was no broader explanation.”

Asked what broader explanation the boy could have given, the spokesman explained:

“It could reasonably be mistaken as a device if left in a bathroom or under a car. The concern was, what was this thing built for? Do we take him into custody?”

Damn you, Ahmed, why didn’t you give some thought to the possibility that if you’d done a whole bunch of things that you didn’t actually do, that little clock could have been used to incite panic? At this point, Ahmed should be grateful they didn’t also accuse him of carrying sharpened pencils that could have been used to gouge someone’s eye out. And so Ahmed was handcuffed and marched out of the school in front of other students, an officer on each arm in case he tried some tricky terrorist judo. After taking him to a juvenile detention center and fingerprinting him, police released him to his parents. No charges have yet been filed against Ahmed, but the police are still investigating. The North Texas chapter of the Council on Islamic-American Relations is investigating as well; a spokeswoman said, “This all raises a red flag for us: how Irving’s government entities are operating in the current climate[.]”

Irving, you see, is probably not a great town in which to be a smart Muslim teenager these days. During one of the state’s regular Islam Panics, Irving Mayor Beth Van Duyne became a hero of the wingnuttosphere last spring when she publicly condemned a Muslim mediation service as an attempt to “bypass American courts,” although the service was no different from private dispute-resolution services offered by Catholic and Jewish groups. Actually, it was totally different: It involved scary Muslims, and if you let them resolve a contract argument, then obviously the next step is imposition of Sharia, public beheadings of Christians, and police arresting innocent children for wholly imaginary crimes. Also, too, Irving is just 25 miles down I-635 from Garland, which hosted the Draw Mohammed Contest where the First and Second Amendments shot it out in May.

Ahmed should return to school Friday, after his three-day suspension for being too smart but not aware enough of the idiocy of others. The news story closes by noting, “He’s vowed never to take an invention to school again.”

See? Definitely a fast learner.

[Dallas Morning News]

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  • cousin itt

    little thing he banged out in about 20 minutes before going to bed Sunday.

    Nerds have girlfriends?

  • freakishlystrong

    “He’s vowed never to take an invention to school again.”This is “winning” to conservatives.

    • The last thing Texas needs is kids smart enough to know how to build a clock in 20 minutes.

      • AntiDerpomeme

        At one point in his idealistic life, young Ahmed had planned to start a clock factory in Irving, creating hundreds of jobs for ignorant knuckle-draggers. But now he’s outsourcing the whole shebang to Bangalore.

      • Viva La Tabula Raza

        Thank god for cell phones, or Texas kids wouldn’t even know how to tell time.

        • MrBlobfish

          Velcro is a real time-saver when getting dressed.

      • bozilingus

        But if he knew it took him 20 minutes to build the clock, why did he need to build the clock?

      • nothingisamiss

        So Texas arrests a kid who can build a clock, elects as governor the man who said “A broken clock is right once a day.”

        • Langalf

          Well, if it’s a 24 hour clock …

  • On the plus side, he’s now got street cred that should keep him getting his lunch money stolen.

    • dshwa

      I’m hoping he at least gets laid for this. Might be the only good outcome.

    • nothingisamiss

      In that place? I hope you’re right. I forsee parents coming to the school with signs that say #IStandWithIrvingPolice.

  • dslindc

    How many times do I have to say that I don’t need more reasons to dislike and never visit Texas?

    • nothingisamiss

      My cousin, though, is really nice, even if she does live in that shithole. I guess she needs to fly home to Cali.

  • Viva La Tabula Raza

    “He kept maintaining it was a clock, but there was no broader explanation.”
    Looks like a job for Dick Cheney and His Merry Waterboard Brigade.

    • FauxAntocles

      Um, did anyone ask the engineering teacher? Seems to be the only adult with a brain in Irving.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Seems like the engineering teacher knew what a bunch of dumb fucks the other teachers, the administration, and the cops are.

        If I were the engineering teacher, I might have offered to hang onto it for him for the rest of the day, if I really thought other teachers could be this dumb.

        • SecludedCompound

          Exactly! “I suggest you don’t show this to many people; you’re in Texas, son…” seems like the most reasonable assessment a rational man could give the poor kid.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    When I first saw this headline elsewhere, I assumed he was wearing the clock he built around his neck, and got arrested on an outstanding warrant because they thought he was Flavor Flav.

    • iGrover

      Here you go.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    TEXAS: where teenage girls in bathing suits, Muslim kids with pencil cases and failing to use a turn signal are all considered more dangerous than some ASSHOLE open carrying a AR-15 in a local Wal-Mart!!!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      You misspelled the place name: It’s Texass.

      • Jared James

        There’s more than one reason the unofficial motto is “don’t meth with Texath.”

      • Redgyal

        Original spelling is Mexico. FYI.

    • OneYieldRegular

      “You built a Glock? Hallelujah, son. You win first prize in the school science fair and get to be hall monitor for a whole month.”

      • Bureaucrap

        Only white male Christian students are allowed to build Glocks (for Christ).

    • More like consistently using turn signals, in the South.

    • gene108

      Turn signals, bathing suits and pencil cases are not protected by the Constitution unlike AR-15’s.

      Our Founders wisely decided against making these items Constitutionally protected.

    • nothingisamiss

      God, you putting it together like that is fucking genius/depressing as hell.

    • SadDemInTex

      You must correct to “white ASSHOLE open carrying” because if it was a black man he would be shot dead in Texas. Christ Almighty…what year is this? 1925? Racism is so blatant now…the xenophobia, the hatred…it is exactly what happened during the 1920’s. I wouldn’t be surprised if someone was lynched in Texas. That is how horrible it feels right now.

  • Lizzietish81

    Please say he’s already being approached by MIT.

    • nothingisamiss

      There is a group of STEM folks that have offered free tuition/ training in high school, materials, tutoring, etc.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    “He kept maintaining it was a clock, but there was no broader explanation.”

    …ummmmm, how about “to tell time”?!?!

    • gene108

      How about to beep in English class to distract the teacher? Trying to distract the class by making strange noises has been going on for a long time. He just computerized it because kids these days cannot make fart noises with their armpits anymore.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      To tell how many more hours before he could get the fuck out of there for the day?

    • bozilingus

      “To Serve Man”

    • Come here a minute

      That just proves he’s a foreign terrorist — American kids use their phones.

  • gene108

    News paper comments are usually a cesspit of knuckle dragging mouth breathers, but The Dallas News article linked above, the comments are almost entirely supportive of the young man and condemning of the authorities.

    Pleasant surprise to an unpleasant story.

  • RecreationalPilot

    .

    Hmm. Looks like a bomb. Give it to me. Now class, where were we?

    I did not find signs of distress, the evacuation of the class or school for this ‘bomb.’

    That shows just how credible the teacher’s beliefs were, not following safety protocol!

    • dshwa

      They railroaded the scary muslin kid to jail, so I’m guessing raises?

      • Viva La Tabula Raza

        Or recess.

  • Lizzietish81

    Don’t worry Ahmed, it get’s better.

    When you leave Texas.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Irving, Texas needs to be high on the list of places to drop a meteor.

    Cripes, the stupid…

    • Viva La Tabula Raza

      Even that dumbass Jerrah Jones had enough sense to move the Cowboys the hell out of there.

      • PubOption

        Only because Irving wouldn’t give him the tax revenue they currently use to support mass transit.

  • AntiDerpomeme

    I need kittens.

    • TeenLaQueefa

      You’re in luck! There’s a stray cat having kittens in my garage as we speak, so come on over!

      • AntiDerpomeme

        Aww! I lurve kittens!

        I think my husband would be miffed if I adopted any more cats, though. We already have 4.

        • TeenLaQueefa

          I have 4 cats also too even though the city puts the limit at 3. I’m a rebel like that.

          • Vienna Woods

            Pikers. My mother and sister have 10. Yes, their house stinks. (Rural municipality, so no limits)

  • To paraphrase Rick Perry, “Even a clock is a broken bomb once a day.”

    • Hiptobesquare

      I love you!

  • memzilla

    He didn’t build a clock, he built a bigot identification device.

    • Come here a minute

      The measurements are exceeding the system’s capacity — I THINK IT”S GOING TO EXPLODE!

    • OneYieldRegular

      At university, he’ll double-major in Electrical Engineering and Sociology.

    • OzoneTom

      Good thing that they didn’t see the pressure cooker in his backpack!

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Wondering if any police tactical body rolls were performed during Ahmed’s arrest?

    • Brother Yam

      In white socks. Remember, it’s the clothes that make the tactical body roll.

  • Iron Monkey

    They have English teachers in Texas? Amazing.

    • Brother Yam

      Anglish teachers.

      • RecreationalPilot

        Twanglish

      • Catstro

        ‘Merikan teachers

    • RecreationalPilot

      Trained by the Texas School Board specifications.

      So, to answer your question: No, not real English teachers.

  • Relativicus

    You laugh, but what if the clock was left on the front steps of the state house? You wouldn’t be laughing then, would you?

    • Viva La Tabula Raza

      Yeah, but the kid was in Irving, and the statehouse in Austin is 200 miles to the south.

      • Relativicus

        Oh, no, I meant Arthur and Mildred State’s house. It’s on the corner there by the drug store and across the store from where that guy was arrested that one time.

    • SnarkTank

      No, I’d be looking at it and saying, “Hey, cool clock. And it’s 9:30!”

      • Viva La Tabula Raza

        You must be in the Central Time Zone. Yeah, I’m a freaking detective.

      • Querolous

        “And it’s 4:20!”

  • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

    If it’s a clock, smart guy, how do you wind it? Where’s the pendulum? Hengh?

    • cousin itt

      And what about the Sun’s shadow? It was CLOUDY that day.

      • jviscont1

        the use of Arabic numerals in the display was the dead giveaway.

        • nothingisamiss

          MANY UPFISTS.

  • Olav_Pompatus

    Children. They grow up so fast! Why it seems like only yesterday he was just a little toddler terrorist.

  • “But YOU look like a bomb-maker to your English teacher, and that, Ahmed, is all that mattered.”

    QFT.
    You Wonkwriters prevent more frustrated violence and sudden aneurysms than you will ever know.

  • Viva La Tabula Raza

    “Why do you need this clock, Muslim kid?”
    “SO I KNOW WHEN IT’S TIME TO INSTITUTE SHARIA LAW, INFIDEL!”

  • cousin itt

    I guess time ran out for the young man.

  • Texas. I swear, that state is chock full of bloody fucking idiots.

    • cousin itt

      Florida Man libelz!

  • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

    Now doesn’t everyone who said Jade Helm was no big deal feel embarrassed?

    • AntiDerpomeme

      In my humble opinion, not enough Texas English teachers were FEMA’ed in that whole operation.

    • MrBlobfish

      That’s what they want you to think. How do we really know it’s over?

    • BTroy

      Oh not at all, they are even more emboldened, because now they claim because of them it was stopped from happening. They see what they did as a success.

  • Me not sure

    Kill your clocks, they use Arabic numbers!

    • bozilingus

      Sorry, I’m an olds, mine has Roman numerals. Now excuse me, I have to go catch them…

  • chicken thief

    I used to have a cell phone just like one that was used to detonate a bomb on an episode of Homeland. But I’m an old white guy so I could point that out without fear of being imprisoned.

    USA! USA!!! USA!!!!!

  • goonemeritus

    Have you considered that the bigotry at work here might just
    be against engineers? Sure Muslim youth are regularly subjected to all manner
    of indignities but the hatred of engineers is multigenerational.

    • Toomush_Infer

      Project much?…

      • goonemeritus

        All the time

    • Oblios_Cap

      They’re somewhat better to deal with than actuaries, so there’s that.

  • MrBlobfish

    Their first clue should have been when Ahmed showed up to school on his magic flying carpet.

  • chicken thief

    Hopefully some fine engineering school will see the upside of this kid’s ingenuity and recruit him.

  • Catstro

    Boy it’s a good thing Steve Jobs was adopted by that alcoholic stepfather of his. Sure, he was abusive, but unlike his biological father, he was able to give him a nice, not Muslim name.

  • Angry_Cop

    I feel for this kid. I used to build electronics projects all the time, still do on occasion. I find it relaxing. But the worst thing I ever had to worry about was getting beaten up by other students because I was a nerd. Why? – because I’m white.

    He’s Mooslim and looks suspiciously like he might be part blackity-black. Sucks for him but given the hellhole he’s living in, I’d keep the projects at home or in the lab at school. And never in a car. A circuit board, a blinky light and some wires could get the little guy’s ass killed.

    • Kakkeltje

      Maybe he should adopt a more low tech hobby, like making candles:

      http://www.geekalerts.com/u/Kaboom-Sparkle-Candles.jpg

    • OneYieldRegular

      Exactly. The stuff we got away with – not only building blinky-light things, but also things that went boom. For a 13-year-old, the blinky things were very cool, but the four-foot-wide crater we made in a neighbor’s back yard with nothing but hacked fireworks was something else. Don’t try this at home, kids; I marvel that I’m still alive.

  • dshwa

    OK I can get the whole it could be a bomb thing, provided they reacted the same way to any student with a similar device. But after he showed them it wasn’t, the whole thing just goes downhill in a hurry. And marching him out in handcuffs? WTF people?

    • Viva La Tabula Raza

      Plus, a three day suspension? That’s more than he would have got if he had brought a gun (it’s Texas, folks).

      • Villago Delenda Est

        If he’d brought a gun, he would have received a special commendation.

        • SpideySenser

          Except he’s Muslim, so pro’ly more like a condemnation, or much, much worse.

  • TundraGrifter

    Leave it to Texas to hire teachers and principals who don’t know what time it is.

    • Douglas White

      They not only don’t have a good grasp of clocks, their understanding of the calendar is off by about 200 years…

      • shastakoala

        He should have built a time machine.

  • elviouslyqueer

    It is far too early in the morning for this shit, y’all.

    • willi0000000

      how could you tell?

      MAYBE YOU LOOKED AT A FUCKING CLOCK?

      [ nah . . . that couldn’t possibly be it ]

      • docterry6973

        Only terrorists look at a clock.

  • SpideySenser

    Irving Police Department = life sucking, soul crushing bigoted authoritarians. And stupid …

    Ahmed, on behalf of the rest of us who embrace your brilliance please accept my apologies for having to deal with these idiots.
    Oh, and good luck with that awesome sciencey future headed your way, just get out of TX ASAP.

    • PubOption

      I can remember the Irving SWAT team, guns at the ready, invading a restaurant and dragging off a suspect. This happened about 9.40pm. We thought that they were on the 2 to 10 shift, and were determined that the night shift wouldn’t get credit for the arrest.

  • glasspusher

    True Fact: The Woz himself got in big trouble in high school making a device that went tick tick tick. So, white people did it first, again!

    Also, what’s up, how is that google spambot still able to comment? Wonkette has never allowed comments.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Sigh…another Jade Helm season come and gone, and Texas is still free and stupid. I blame Obama.

  • MrBlobfish

    His first mistake was to not use a Confederate Flag pencil box.

    • dshwa

      Then they’d have thought he was mocking their heritage, and dog only knows how much worse it would have been.

  • dshwa

    Racism isn’t dead, it’s just moved on. Well, expanded its horizons really.

  • shastakoala

    Vee have vays of making you tock

    • Lizzietish81

      tick tock?

      • bozilingus

        You rang?

    • Playonwords

      Bad pun, bad!

      • shastakoala

        I found this story so alarming I couldn’t help it.

    • Toomush_Infer

      That clock was a glock…

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Hey everybody, let’s give a big hand to shastakoala!

  • Dave

    I have been a strong advocate of outlawing clocks in school for many years. It is good to see Texas taking the lead on this.

  • Riggsveda

    You know how they post “Danger: Falling Rocks” signs at appropriate places along highways? Well, how about they start posting signs outside the city limits of apprpriately hate-mongering municipalities to warn off clueless newcomers from accidentally putting down roots, before they wake up one day to find themselves handcuffed to the side of a stud truck and being dragged through the gravel?

    • dshwa

      I’m all for Trump’s Wall, just around the South instead.

      • Riggsveda

        With special refugee status for Austin and New Orleans.

    • Gleem-McShinez

      Bigot Zone Ahead. Minorities: Drive With Care

  • Michael Smith

    do not say or do anything that

    he who standing in
    front of you

    watching cannot
    understand, he will

    feel you know
    something he

    doesn’t. he will
    react with blinding

    speed and write
    your name down.

    talk on his terms.
    if his terms

    are old-fashioned
    an’ you’ve

    passed that stage
    all the more easier

    t’ get back there.
    say what he

    can understand
    clearly.

    Bob Dylan. Advice For Geraldine On Her Miscellaneous Birthday,

  • weejee

    So will the Irving PoPo be inviting young Ahmed to their next klan bake?

  • Ryan Denniston

    Good thing he wasn’t black. They’d have shot him, he would have died by suicide while im custody, or been spirited away to a psych ward.

  • This is how! you %can !earn 65 bucks hour…After searching for a job that suits me for 6 months , I started working
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    • Lizzietish81

      So building small clocks is the wave of the future?

  • chicken thief

    This is a bit surprising. Isn’t Irving the home of the Dallas Cowboys? I mean, they have come to accept Tony Homo Romo with open arms, you’d think they’d be as open minded with other minority groups.

    • dshwa

      Not since Jerry Jones built that new stadium/monstrosity.

      • Viva La Tabula Raza

        I don’t think Jerry built it so much as the taxpayers of Arlington did.

    • Viva La Tabula Raza

      they have come to accept Tony Romo with open arms,
      Only after a win. When they lose, he’s an abomination and needs to be traded.

  • Spotts1701

    Funny how everyone’s like “it looks like a bomb”. But the teacher keeps it, even though they think it looks like a bomb. And nobody seems to have, I don’t know, called the bomb squad?
    So really, not buying it. Not one bit.

    • Riggsveda

      Calling the bomb squad would have ruined their fun, not to mention the rash of shit the squad would have given them for being basic pussies.

    • jmk

      Or maybe they could have just asked the engineering teacher, if they were that puzzled by this not-a-bomb?

      • fka_donnie_d

        Assumes facts not in evidence (engineering teacher knows facts)

  • Thaumaturgist

    Think Syria might be willing to grant this kid refuse status?

  • Blackest Noobs

    it’s the kid’s own damn fault; he has brown skin, he shouldve known better.

    • andreamd

      People actually posted that on the Dallas news website- I think they were not being sarcastic.

      • Blackest Noobs

        i wasn’t either.

        ok. i was but still kid shouldve known better, we live an America where pretty much everything scares white people….especially if it’s a person with darker skin color.

  • weejee

    So will Irving public skools now ban teaching علم الجبر (al jabr)?

    • OrdinaryJoe

      The world is not binary. The numeric indicator “zero” is banned. Everything starts with a “1”. So much for the computer programming class.

      • doktorzoom

        There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who know binary, and those who don’t.

        • DahBoner

          Sorry, I’ve long since moved on to Trinary.

          https://media1.giphy.com/media/136YZYjGs5jfY4/200w_d.gif

        • OrdinaryJoe

          I am going to borrow that. Math nerds don’t laugh at much but they will laugh at that.

          • doktorzoom

            Go right ahead! I stoled it from the interwebs years ago.

      • Toomush_Infer

        91111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111….(monocode for “derp”)….

  • Ryan Denniston

    Hey kid, sue the Depatmrnt, pay for college, profit!

  • Playonwords

    Being a Brit, elderly, white but very heavily bearded I will not talk about what, (40 to 50 hrumph years ago) I and my friends used to do in the basement with Potassium Iodide, or the time we ran away very rapidly as the white acidic vapours sublimated from the rafters. …

    Good times …

  • Bill Slider

    No snark, this is sad on so many levels. Joe Smith and John Doe, and Bob Dole are good Christian names. Ahmed, automatically is a terrorist. Jose, automatically is an illegal Messican. Dwayne, or X. for a middle initial, automatically is a lazy black kid who is on drugs and steals shit.
    What is the first word an employer sees, or HR, when they look at a resume? It is your goddamn name. Prejudice radar kicks into overdrive., and your actual qualifications become secondary.

    • MrBlobfish

      Stereotypes just make life that much easier.

      • jmk

        Yep. They keep you from having to think for yourself.

        Think of all the time and effort you save!

    • amindofitsown

      That’s just that politically correct nonsense. Don’t you know that if we don’t racially profile people, the terrorists win?

  • MrBlobfish

    Another American Dream, kicked to the curb.

  • Werewolf

    It’s crap like this that makes me afraid to go outside the city limits of Austin.

    • Riggsveda

      But really, why would you need to?

      • Werewolf

        Well, San Antonio is a cool place, there’s some natural wonders like Big Bend and Lost Maples that I want to visit, and if I want to drive to visit my parents in Florida I have to venture outside Travis County. But damn, it’s scary out there.

  • bozilingus

    The kid should start his own business, selling clock kits to students which will be labeled “This is a clock, not a bomb, you fucking morans.”

  • dshwa

    In the school’s defense, it looked like it was an Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator.

    • bozilingus

      “Martians good, Muslims bad”

      • MrBlobfish

        Martians bad. Muslims worse.

    • CripesAmighty

      Too bad he forgot the Earth-shattering kaboom.

  • Msgr_Moment

    Duz not approve.

  • Ilgattomorte

    In a related story, the sheriff of Garland Texas has arrested the town of Irving Texas.

    The sheriff was quoted as saying, “Well the name of the town sounded just a little too Jew-y to me. Irving? In Texas? Come on! I mean it don’t look Jewish, but then they never do. You know, it starts with the Jews and then you get the Mooslims and before you know it you got them people doing their Hassidic Sharia stuff to you, right up in there in your own garage. You just can’t be too careful these days”

    • bozilingus

      The city was named after Irving, the 142nd fastest gun in the West.

      • Usedtobeyellerdawg

        Even on the range, he carried two sets of dishes.
        Irving…

        • Querolous

          Circumcised the bulls. That’s why his nick-name was “Noteef”

  • Beth

    My main concern is why he was questioned without his parents present. I hope they file a damn lawsuit, and then make allllll the clocks for every school in Texas.

  • kindness

    Soooo…..with Halloween fast approaching I think we now have some solid candidates for pumpkin stealing & smashing in their driveway (I would say drop an m-80 in one but that might bring the cops down on every brown skinned person in 10 miles), door shaving creme murals &/or house egging.

    • dshwa

      My high shool had a teacher who was pretty much universally reviled. One night a group of students took every for sale sign in a 5 mile radius and hammered every one of them into her front lawn (about 30 or 40 of them if memory serves. It remains my favorite prank to this day.

  • bozilingus

    It’s a good thing he didn’t build a countdown clock for the rocketry club.

  • grmpy

    charges filed against the officers and administration? I’m pretty sure They have to take him out by way of the most private route. intentionally perp walking him in front of his peers is a violation of his civil rights.

    • Beezelbubbles

      “Others” don’t have civil rights. Haven’t you read the Constitution?

    • Spotts1701

      Not to mention that he did ask to speak to his parents, and the police told him he couldn’t until they were done questioning him. Which is usually a Fourth Amendment no-no.

      • cmd

        Unfortunately my vague recollection from the days of dealing with paranoid school administrators is there is some excuse for not letting the kid speak to the parents first. I could be wrong, and I have blocked out many memories on purpose.

        • Spotts1701

          School administrators do have the right to question students without their parents, so long as it is reasonably related to keeping order in the school. But law enforcement questioning minors is a different story altogether.

          • cmd

            We had “school resource officers” who were uniformed sheriff deputies onsite at the schools. And I remember lots of times by the time anyone called me they had already talked to the kid. Now I don’t remember any outside law enforcement ever coming in. And nothing ever ended up resulting in an arrest or criminal charges.

      • bozilingus

        I believe they ruled that the 4th Amendment did not apply to juveniles, only white, property owning males.

  • exinkwretch

    If only the kid had brought a .45 semiauto to school, he’d have Ted Nugent in his corner.

  • Joshua Norton

    Maybe it didn’t go over too well as a clock, but it was a pretty good Racist Hick Detector.

  • Michael Heumann

    Here’s hoping the kid wins a multi-million dollar lawsuit and use the money to go to a college way the fuck away from Texas.

    • If he wants an actual education, he’ll have to. Unless he’s only interested in football, and that doesn’t seem to be the case here.

      • grmpy

        I would argue he just got a taste of “actual education.”

    • grmpy

      I hope he uses that money to take flight lesson! (Bad taste?)

    • SecludedCompound

      And take mom and dad with him; give those talents to a state that deserves them.

  • bozilingus

    Did they fire the engineering teacher for failure to report the “bomb”?

    • dshwa

      It’s Texas, she got a raise for correctly identifying the scary muslin kid.

  • AnOuthouse

    Real ‘Muricans don’t spend their time a book learnin’ and inventin’ stuff. And they buy their clocks at Walmart.

  • JRA

    Poor kid. Hopefully he can take solace in the fact that he’ll be an engineer in about a decade and then there will be people who pay him well to do this stuff

    That said how is this hysteria any different than the freak out that happens over firearms? If you build your own or carry one people automatically assume you’re a murderous savage and begin to moan over what you could have done with it.

    That is exactly the same as your pencil and knife analogy. There is no need to worry yourself over what people might be doing. They’re almost never doing what is imagined

    • jmk

      Ummm… no.

    • Toomush_Infer

      Guns don’t shoot people – clocks do!….

      • Gleem-McShinez

        What do you call someone who’s died? For example: The LATE Ronald Raven! QEFND!!1

    • Joshua Norton

      Yeah, no. Clocks are for telling time. Guns are for killing people from a safe distance. Once a psycho gets over the thrill of just carrying one, they start looking for reasons to use it.

    • Emily Sieger

      unless of course this absurdly racist/anti Muslim treatment actually does turn him into a terrorist…

    • lesterthegiantape

      I think the main distinction is people shoot other people with firearms, but they tell the time with clocks.

  • malsperanza

    Once again : fuck Texas.
    That is all.

  • Joshua Norton

    Everyone knows clocks are “suspicious items”. Well in Texas anyways.

    • jmk

      “All technology is of the devil!! Don’t darkside me with your satan clocks!!”

      • artem1s

        has the Irving police removed themselves from the community? cause I’m thinking they are the real threat to peace, safety, and order.

    • LaylaOhGee

      I’m pretty sure fucking clocks aren’t in the handbook as a banned item, although they’re probably using the “look-alike” shit against him.

      This makes me so very angry. What a bunch of assholes.

  • Toomush_Infer

    Look at the color of that clock!…

  • DahBoner
  • bozilingus

    For Halloween, all the students should dress as clocks.

  • doktorzoom

    Also, too, there’s this detail from the Dallas Morning News story that I found fascinating but couldn’t quite find a place for in the story:

    “He just wants to invent good things for mankind,” said Ahmed’s father, Mohamed Elhassan Mohamed, who immigrated from Sudan and occasionally returns there to run for president. “But because his name is Mohamed and because of Sept. 11, I think my son got mistreated.”

    Can’t imagine Harold Stassen’s kid getting treated like that.

  • I can’t even snark about this. Poor kid.

  • Emily Sieger

    I’m sure they’ll find he had weed in his system …….

  • Beezelbubbles

    Does this mean that Flava Flav has been running around with the equivalent of a nuclear bomb on his chest all these years?

    https://grist.files.wordpress.com/2011/01/flava-flav-flickr-oceanofstars_493x416.jpg

    • grmpy

      WELL… Flava Flav is DA BOMB BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEE!

  • chiefkurtz

    Texas is stupid; but it’s a dry stupid.

    • Joshua Norton

      That’s already copyrighted as Arizona’s motto.

      • GDleftyPart2

        Hey, plenty of stupid to go around, we aren’t hoarders here….

        It’s a dry heat, like your oven.

        • Wombat

          Say, you know who ELSE liked ovens?

          • bozilingus

            My little granddaughter? She loved her EZ-Bake Oven. We took it away when she called her gingerbread men Joos.

          • CripesAmighty

            That’s horrible (snort, cackle, glrpf!).

          • thenearesthippie

            Hansel and Gretel?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Actually, we prefer “It’s a dry hate”.

  • RoyalUglyDude

    I don’t think this has been said yet:

  • Fartknocker

    In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.

    Mark Twain

  • amindofitsown

    This is what happens when the training you get at the academy in bomb detection is watching Die Hard 3.

  • Enfant Terrible

    It’s not a bomb. It’s not a clock either. It’s a Rorschach test. And the grown-ups failed.

  • Redgyal

    He learned the wrong lesson.

    • lesterthegiantape

      I suspect he’s learned precisely the right lesson: “you’re the Other. Watch out, kid.”

      • Redgyal

        And I deduced that he probably already thought that but was lulled into a sense of comfort due to the relative nature of human skin tones. The only lesson taught by this event was that he should hide his intelligence because it is not valued.

        • lesterthegiantape

          Upvoted with sigh of recognition.

  • GDleftyPart2

    He made his own clock using spare parts in America and gets arrested for….being smarter than the Irving Police?
    Jesus H.
    Please move from Texas kid, the real America needs you more than Texas.

  • Skwerl King

    Things have changed from my day when we had a student build an actual bomb that exploded in our school. His punishment: 30-day suspension and a bill for the damage.

    • Roadstergal

      We definitely caused some explosions making nitrogen tri-iodide for a laff. But I’m not visibly ay-rab, so I just got a good grade in Chemistry and a request to take it outside.

  • Bitter Scribe

    “It looks like a movie bomb to me”?

    For real? This kid got marched out of his school in handcuffs and suspended because someone in authority at his school thought that a homemade digital clock looked like a movie bomb?

    Where exactly does this school district get its administrators? How do they find their way to work in the morning and back home at night? How do they get their pants through the right legs and their shoes on the right feet?

    What the fuck?

    • artem1s

      sounds like the reaction of your typical Vice Principal. All swagger and no real authority, freaking out about things that could be handled with a sane 3 minute conversation by an actual adult.

      • YayConspiracy

        I see a problem right there: … actual adult…

    • I hear movie bombs are the MOST DEADLY KIND of bomb. For realzies.

      • bozilingus

        Gigli?

      • Last Hussar

        Well, they are DEFINITELY more powerful than real bombs. Like Movie Grenades. I don’t know why the army doesn’t use them, they are certainly more ‘splody.

    • Hardly Ideal

      Okay, y’all. Time for a primer on- SIT THE FUCK DOWN, YOU IN THE BACK- a primer on clocks vs bombs.

      Here is a homemade clock. I understand Tamiya has a kit you can buy at Fry’s or whatever.

      Here is a bomb that an actual Muslim terrorist would use. It’s cobbled together from shit they find or steal.

      Now, I’m not letting any of you yokels out of this room until each and every one of you can tell the difference.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Where do they get them? Why the Texas Public School System of course!

    • SpideySenser

      They are putting the right legs in the left side of their pants, and the right shoes on the left foot, of which they probably have 2.

  • lesterthegiantape

    This kid makes a beepy-flashy thing that looks like a fake bomb to A Idiot. This is what they’re worried about. Meanwhile what actually happens all over the nation is a kid brings a real-looking real gun to school and shoots everybody.

    Pro tip: if the kid proudly shows you the clock he made, even if he is a Musselman, it’s probably not a gun. So don’t worry about it.

  • Toomush_Infer

    I’ve been saying for a long time that all clocks should be registered…This is dangerous, people!…

    • Yup. This issue is a ticking time bo– well, its ticking, thats for darn sure.
      Burn all these heathen devices!!!!

  • Gristle McThornbody

    “It could reasonably be mistaken as a device if left in a bathroom or under a car. The concern was, what was this thing built for? Do we take him into custody?”

    So, all any of us needs to do to incite people to start running around in little circles, waving their arms and screaming like their hair’s on fire, is find a bunch of wind-up alarm clocks like you can buy literally any-fucking-where in the country, tape a pencil to the damn thing, and start leaving them in public restrooms, in downtown areas, on street corners, at restaurant entrances, etc. I feel a shopping spree coming on.

    • bozilingus

      Unfortunately, in this land ruled by Fear (America, I weep for who you used to be), they will catch you and mess up you and your family’s lives.
      But it’s okay to dress as Osama and cross the Rio Grande illegally.

      • Gristle McThornbody

        Yeah, I know – just blowing off a little steam. You can’t drive down any street in this country or walk into any store or hospital or business without having your picture or video taken. I’m betting just running errands in my little backwater town my image is captured for posterity many, many times.

      • Antonin Dvorak

        That guy is on some no fly lists now. Yeah, it is no police interrogation and perp-walk but it wasn’t completely consequence free either.

    • Indeed. Lets imagine all the things he could of done but didn’t actually do. He could of made a bomb threat with it, or blown up THE ENTIRE STATE. Or started a local sect of ISIS. So many things he could of done, but didn’t do. Broader context guys.

  • nmmagyar

    To any sane folks left in the Lone Star State: Flee!!! The state is lost.

    • Doc2222

      Yeah, they should leave now while they can because when Texas secedes from the union, Donald Trump is gonna build a big fence around it so no one can get in or out.

  • JustPixelz

    I see the problem: Texans are accustomed to clocks that are only right once a day. This was outside their comfort zone. Also … Muslim.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      I would say the problem is “Texas” and we can leave it at that.

  • Sebastian Melmoth

    In middle school, I made a “hydrogen bomb” for a science project that involved a nail, a piece of pipe and a battery. The pipe contained a soapy solution that, when a current went through it, generated hydrogen gas that could be ignited with a spark between the nail and the cathode wire. It got lots of laughs from the kids and the teacher. Today, I suppose I would be put on a fast jet to the Florence ADX.

    • Brewerofbeers

      Are you white? If so, you would still be okay.

      • Sebastian Melmoth

        White, but not Irving, Texas white.

      • bozilingus

        The KKK is looking for a few, good men.

    • bozilingus

      Looks like something from an old National Lampoon.

  • Brewerofbeers

    I hope he becomes very wealthy off of this and it sends him to college.

    • bozilingus

      He is probably smart enough to be accepted to any college on an academic scholarship, full ride.

      • Brewerofbeers

        Then I hope he gets rich and buys a bitchin ride.

        • bozilingus

          Well, the penalty should fit the “offense”. Hope he gets a fleet of Teslas.

        • What? No! He’d just be pulled over and have to spent 8 days in a psych ward while some doctor feeds him tranks and gets him to admit that “I don’t have a bitchin ride, I work at the 7-11 like all the other terrorists”.

  • Jeff Ackerman

    Texas is full of brown people that don’t build their own clocks for science class, but they all have similar experiences with Texans that have a white hue to their skin and some position of authority. I am brown skinned (thanks Mom!) and I spend some winters in Texas. I usually blend in with all my brown skinned compadre’s. until I open my mouth. I don’t speak Texan so I stick out like a diamond in a goats ass once I start talking.

    • NorthernSaber

      “…like a diamond in a goats ass”

      I believe I have the title of my group’s next album…

  • HeywoodJablomey

    If only Jade Helm ops had rounded up these types of ignorant bigoted assholes and put them in FEMA camps… *sigh* Thanks, Obama.

  • Iam Reading

    White Texans. At least they aren’t Oakies. That is as nice as I can be WRT this topic.

  • Enfant Terrible

    Ahmed just had that moment where he realized he was smarter than most of the grownups around him. It happens with all bright children.

  • NorthernSaber

    Well, what do you expect from the descendants of people who actually thought they could fight off thousands of Mexican soldiers from a half-assed broke-dick mission with no fresh water.
    Jesus Actual Christ- we fought a war to bring these clowns (back) into the country?

    • ClueBat

      “Jesus Actual Christ- we fought a war to bring these clowns (back) into the country?”

      Yeah, I think this every time I see an article like this from a confederate state. IDK, it probably seemed like a good idea at the time…or something.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        To be clear, we fought that particular little war because Mexico had outlawed slavery and we were running out of territory to expand slavery into.

    • Biff52

      It’s because time-traveling Obama knew Texass had oil.

  • cmd
    • 24601

      Damn. I am going to miss this man.

    • Wombat

      I’ve never ever seen a group of people told to go fuck themselves so politely.

      • Last Hussar

        Sir/Madam.
        That comment is the highlight of my day. (Unless my wife gets frisky later)
        ThankYou

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        He’s the master, fershur

    • Roadstergal

      Well, that should make the good white people of Irvine, Texas change their mind on Ahmed.

  • Mavenmaven

    even worse, we all know tinkering is a YANKEE thing.

  • Belasaurius

    god I really need to move out of this state

  • Swampay

    Here’s a hint for the Irving po-po: If it were a bomb the electronics would be attached to some explosives. That’s how you can tell it’s a bomb, it has explosives. Electronics without explosives aren’t going to go boom.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Well, except for some smart phones.

      • Swampay

        Yeah, I’m ignoring the case where the device is just a detonator, because. By the story, it doesn’t seem like the possibility occurred to the cops, they don’t seem to have been all “where’s the rest of the bomb, Ahmed?” but just “eeek, it’s a bomb”. A bit thin, I know.

  • cessnadriver

    And they wonder why ‘Merkin companies have to import engineers.

  • Hardly Ideal

    Oh hey, I think this is the clock/bomb in question, courtesy of Gawker.

    Now, I only pretend to be an engineer on Team Fortress 2, but why on earth would you need a cartoonish countdown clock (or count-UP as it would be demonstrated)? Nowadays, people use things like old cell phones to detonate bombs exactly when they need to, not just time when they predict the Road Runner will go by.

    Also, clocks are complex, but bombs are easy. Clocks need to track pulses and change a display. Bombs just need to sit patiently until the the circuit on their detonator is closed.

    • Gleem-McShinez

      Alright, you. Come along with us, quietly. You’re being arrested for knowing things.

      • Hardly Ideal

        But that’s the thing: I don’t really know things! I dropped out of college and I only know most of this shit through wiki-walking!

        What’re you going to do? Criminalize Google?

        • YayConspiracy

          There we go: a smartass ánd a terrorist.

        • Gleem-McShinez

          WHO IS THIS GOOGLE? IS THAT YOUR ISIS CONTACT?!

          • Biff52

            This guy!

      • SpideySenser

        Science! How does it work?

    • Roadstergal

      It looks just like a movie bomb! Okay, except for the bomb part, but still!

      • Roadstergal

        FCOL, now with pic.

  • Gleem-McShinez

    I hope he goes on to become a supervillain and builds a mind-ray that turns all Texans into mindless zombies.

    OH MY GOD! IT’S TOO LATE!!

  • VandeGraf

    The kid has learned that many adults, even those in charge, are ignorant. It’s difficult being young, bright, gifted, and being surrounded by mediocrity.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    What a dumb kid. Doesn’t he know that the most important part of a clock is the Semtex?

    At least by the time he finishes high school, he’ll know that the Civil War had nothing to do with slavery and that all clocks in Texas are set to 1861.

  • ibnyamin

    And Irving ISD has a statement http://irvingisd.net/cms/lib010/TX01917973/Centricity/Domain/9/ParentLetter_SuspiciousLookingItematMacArthur.pdf to reassure us that everyone is safe, no one was ever in danger, but please be vigilant and report suspicious behavior before it becomes a problem.

  • SisterArtemis

    Spittin’ mad about this. Can’t. Even.

  • YayConspiracy

    Sometimes just one sentence is enough to assess somebody’s (lack of) character: “Yup, that’s who I thought it was.”

  • John Werner

    To paraphrase one of my favorite quotes: “Kid, you tried your best and you were humiliated miserably. The lesson is, never try.” — Homer Simpson

  • Gleem-McShinez

    But his clockbomb done blewed us all ter smithereeeens!!

    *Nation stares in disbelief*

    … we got better.

  • Biff52

    I’m suspicious, too. I’ve seen dozens of pics of this alleged “clock”, but not one of them resembles a “clock”. What am I missing?

  • george gonzalez

    Cans I send him a $50 gift certificate to DigiKey or some other electronic nerd worship site?

    Back in high school I built a blue box that would weakly put out a police-car siren-like squeal. Didn’t get me arrested though. Good times.

  • TheBidenator

    This being Texas I’m sure if one of the burly white dudes (destined to own an F-350, sport a duck dynasty beard and numerous asshole tattoos mixing Christian imagery with aggressive, semi-bigoted symbols) accidentally brought his huntin’ rifle to class he’d just be asked to go put it back in the truck…nothin’ a see here and boys will be boys.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      This

  • CripesAmighty

    “Ain’t no clock. Ain’t got no bell or windup thangy whut comes on a clock.”

  • I just thank God Ahmed didn’t make the clock go “beep” every time the second digits changed, or he’d be in Guantanamo Bay by now.

  • Last Hussar

    IT LOOKS LIKE A MOVIE BOMB.

    Yes, yes it does. But here is the important thing. Real bombs don’t use digital countdowns. Why would you? The countdown is only representing the data – the actual count is held on a microchip – and they tend to be, um, micro.

    Now if you wanted to make a REAL bomb with a timer you use analogue clock or watch. That way you get a 59 minute timer. 12 hour if you take off the minute hand. Also cannibalise your hifi to make a anti-tamper device, and maybe get a switch to isolate the anti-tamper device.

    Just for the record, with most home made bombs its pointless shouting into your radio “Red wire or the blue wire?” There isn’t a ISO for IED’s. You don’t get marked down for using what ever wire you happen to have handy.

    Public Service Announcement.
    You know those red, blue and yellow curly air hoses that run from the cab or an articulated lorry to the trailer? If you see a white one that ISN’T curly, TELL SOME ONE. Then retreat to a minimum of 400 meters.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      This runs directly contrary to the expertise I acquired concerning bombs from Kiefer Sutherland on “24.”

      • Last Hussar

        Yeah, but he went 24 hours without using a toilet – who knows how clever he is at bomb making

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      If you see a white one that ISN’T curly, retreat to a minimum of 400 meters, THEN TELL SOMEONE.

      ftfy

  • Last Hussar
  • Spotts1701

    Update – no charges, but no apology either.

    Chief Larry Boyd said that Ahmed should have been “forthcoming” by going beyond the description that what he made was a clock. But Boyd said that authorities determined that the teenager did not intend to alarm anyone and the device, which the chief called “a homemade experiment,” was innocuous.

    But of course the school is defending their actions.

  • MrMoose

    Hell, if he were REALLY an American, he would have brought a gun!

    • John Norris

      A gun that looked like a clock OR a gun that is also a clock, for killing time, with votes.

  • Noxious1

    If Ahmed had built a calendar instead, they most likely would have also arrested him for that. Folks down there think its still 1953.

  • Alex Grey

    Texas is really giving Florida a run for its money this week.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Not enough space in my brain for the rage on this one.

  • JBenningfield

    That bigoted, botoxed bimbo that calls herself a mayor needs a smack. I am so angry over this. And if those jackasses at the school truly believed they were dealing with a bomb, ever student and staff member should have been evacuated immediately. But it’s just a bunch of dim witted priveleged white folks and their racist, fear-driven happy horseshit.

  • Zonark

    So I’m not sure why no one has said anything about this but… What if this whole thing was fake like the whole story? How could this have gone off in class like it was claimed to have done? It needs to be plugged in I see no additional battery pack to supply current. How could it have gone off in the middle of class without being plugged in? Check the police photos of the device and you will see what I mean. All he did was disassembled a count down clock

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