She can almost picture being a success
Carly Fiorina is still, good GAWD y'all, promisingto run on her record of very nearly destroying Hewlett-Packard "all day long." (We keep telling herthis is a bad idea, but she doesn't listen to us. Maybe that's why she's losing!)
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But now the game has changed, because she just received some very high praise for her excellent CEO-ing:
“Not only did she save the company from the dire straits it was in, she laid the foundation for HP’s future growth,” Mr. Perkins wrote, pointing to an increase in revenues and patents during her time there. [...]
“While Carly fought to save the company and the employees within, some board members fought for their own power or advancement,” Mr. Perkins wrote.
And who is this Mr. Perkins fella, so critical of the power-hungry board members at HP who unfairly ousted Fiorina, and just when she was doing so well? Why, he is Tom Perkins, trazillionaire tech business dude, and also -- hey, funny coincidence! -- one of the board members at HP who voted to fire Fiorina.
But that was then, and this is now, and Perkins says it was a mistake to fire Fiorina for laying off 30,000 employees, causing a state of emergency in the Northeast, and also doingthisto HP's stock prices:
HP stock prices under Fiorina's leadership
Perkins, in case you've forgotten and we are happy to remind you, is that terrible rich fuck who once killed a guy with his yacht and also said, in 2014, that critics of one-percenters, especially in the tech world (like, for example, Perkins and Fiorina), are pretty much Nazis:
Writing from the epicenter of progressive thought, San Francisco, I would call attention to the parallels of fascist Nazi Germany to its war on its “one percent,” namely its Jews, to the progressive war on the American one percent, namely the “rich.” [...]
This is a very dangerous drift in our American thinking. Kristallnacht was unthinkable in 1930; is its descendent “progressive” radicalism unthinkable now?
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Perkins eventually acknowledged that comparing Google bus protesters to the Third Reich was a mistake, and it didn't even take him a decade to realize it. Progress! And really, who wouldn't want an endorsement from a guy like that?
If only Donald J. Trump, the terrifically successful businessman who is so fond of bankruptcy, weren't running against Fiorina (and also kicking her ass), maybe she'd be able to get his approval too.
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JESUS GOD STOP WITH THE WORK CARLY YOU ARE BECOMING MADONNA WITHOUT ANY TALENT.
jesus.
i loved my palms. yeah, i had 2 of them and fuck you HP for destroying the brand.