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“Derp”

Is Iran still a thing? Apparently, yes. And you know what else is still a thing? Newbie Arkansas Sen. Tom Cotton (R-Teabagsville) getting himself all confused about who is the boss of Us-of-A America, and who is a newbie senator who doesn’t know nothin’ ’bout nothin’ and should shut his dumb face hole before he gets pwned (wait, is pwned still a thing?) on Twitter again by Iran’s foreign minister.

Go on, Senator, show us how you did a dumb this time:

Senator Tom Cotton (R-Arkansas) today released the following statements on reports that Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid may filibuster a Senate vote on the Iran Nuclear Deal:

First, the president did an end-run around the Constitution by refusing to submit the Iran deal as a treaty requiring a two-thirds vote of the Senate for approval. Now Harry Reid wants to deny the American people a voice entirely by blocking an up-or-down vote on this terrible deal. If Harry Reid has his way, Congress won’t even get the little oversight we were provided in Corker-Cardin. He is obstructing because he is scared. He knows that a majority of Americans and Senators oppose this dangerous deal, and that its only chance for survival is if he and the president ram it down the throats of the American people.

Sorry to interrupt, but no one is ramming a treaty to avoid thermonuclear war with Iran down your throat; you’re thinking of gay marriage.

The Congress and the president should speak with one voice when it comes to dealing with the Iranians, but —

Stop right there, Tom, and put down the paste you’re eating. Because we coulda sworn there was some senator who scribbled a letter in crayon to Iran suggesting that so-called “President” Obama does not have the authority to talk to Iran, does not even have the authority to look it up on Google Maps. Who was that? We forget.

While Cotton has been throwing a temper tantrum like a toddler who needs a diaper change, the grown-ups have been trying to make a deal happen so we could maybe avoid getting ourselves stuck in yet another endless war in the Middle East. (The grown-ups have also found some time to laugh at Cotton for being A Idiot, because grown-ups can multitask.) Avoiding war actually is the goal here, even if Cotton doesn’t realize that.

But if the senator now thinks the president and Congress should speak with one voice — all of a sudden and contrary to everything he has done during his brief tenure — he might consider letting the Obama administration do the talking, because Cotton’s chest-thumping and Twitter failing clearly hasn’t worked.

[Cotton Senate page via Simon Maloy]

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  • Toomush_Infer

    “I don’t cotton to this kind of thing”, Tom cottoned…”

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …then again, if anyone could recognize “obstruction” it would be Tom Cotton(R-SisterFuck, AR)

    • Lot_49

      Cotton does always look like he has some serious blockage going on. He should try Dulcolax.

    • TheBidenator

      Redundancy….AR says it all.

  • Rocky

    President and Congress should speak with one voice…

    I vote they use the voice of Morgan Freeman

  • onedollarjuana

    Milo Minderbinder tried to sell cotton-filled candybars. About as palatable as Sen. Cotton’s ideas.

    • Jared James

      At least everyone had a share.

      • Oblios_Cap

        No one really needed the morphine either. Whiners!

        • Jared James

          And there was a huge bonus in it if the bombers came around for a strafing run after they dropped their bombs (on their own air base.)

          • Thaumaturgist

            That was the one thing in Catch-22 that I felt was unrealistic. I’ve never known the Air Force to bomb their own base on purpose.

          • H0mer0

            that would be the Marines.

            guys, I was kidding, I’m sorry:(

          • Jared James

            They were just fulfilling the contract, and everyone had a share.

    • H0mer0

      and had us bomb our own men, saved on jet-fuel I bet.

  • pragmatist3

    Let him think he’s President. That’s less harmful than him actually realizing he is a US Senator.

  • Zippy

    I thought it was PWN, not pawn

  • Jared James

    He is such a towering exemplar of he-man go-gettitude. Now if only he’d go and get a goddamn clue about what government does.

  • Rocky

    Cotton. Egyptian Cotton. Muslin. Muslim.
    Why is Tom Cotton an American-hating Muslim??

    • calliecallie

      The thread count is too damn high.

      • fka_donnie_d

        At breitbart and redstate also too

  • Oblios_Cap

    Avoiding war actually is the goal here

    I think you’re giving Cotton too much credit. It’s not like his kids will be sent to the front to die for the motherland.

    • marxalot

      Of course not!
      … there are no viable human/sheep hybrids.

  • AntiDerpomeme

    Every time I see that dope’s idiot mug, I am reminded of this song

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JNM4atakanI

    • Amy!

      Ewww. I kept waiting for the twist that would turn it into something other than “different is bad.” Guess I missed it.

  • Seaside

    An ill-fitting white Cotton T with sweat stains.

  • dslindc

    Maybe someone should ram a pacifier down his throat.

  • Lot_49

    “The Congress and the president should speak with one voice when it comes to dealing with the Iranians,” Cotton ejaculated, “and that one voice should be mine.”

    • H0mer0

      hee hee, ejaculated….ewww!

  • Brother Yam

    Any time a Republican Senator says the phrase “up or down vote,” they should be cock-punched.

  • ArgieBargie

    Cut him some slack, will you? At least he’s not running for President.

    Yet.

    • Thaumaturgist

      Hold your yets. Billy Kristol is looking for another dark horse (and not no darkey horse neither.)

      • Judith_Priest

        Bill Kristol is one of this country’s most nefarious enemies.

        “Israel, Israel, Uber alles …..” <- Kristol's song

    • willi0000000

      it’ll be another 22 years before he’s old enough to qualify.

  • Viva La Tabula Raza

    “Up or down vote.” Where have I heard that before?

    • Gleem-McShinez

      Josh Duggar’s Ashley Madison profile?

      • Callyson

        Not enough downvotes in the world for that one.

        • HeywoodJablomey

          As-swipe left

  • Angry_Cop

    It’s not a treaty.

    I could go on but really, who cares what this imbecile thinks?

    • MsAnthropesMr

      Facts have no place in the political dialogue. Not is this country, bucko.

      • Zippy

        we traded in facts for hats

        • MsAnthropesMr

          Like this one?

          • TheBidenator

            Better not wear that or take a fake squirrel with you to a Huckabee rally….I don’t need to even say what will happen, do I?

          • Vienna Woods

            Why would someone even THINK of making that thing???

          • High Fastening Kung Fu Pants

            I’d be tempted to wear one to a Green Bay Packers game just to see what happened.

            I’m confident that I could outrun Packers fans, otherwise I’d never dare.

          • Doug Langley

            Relax, it’s Photoshop. I mean, it’s gotta be.

          • DAT

            Spring of ’16, the SPAM Museum will re-open in marvelous new splendor.

            Go early to get your hat.
            http://www.spam.com/spam-101/the-spam-museum

          • Reddishrabbit

            Spam Spam Spam Spam!

          • Werewolf

            Shut up! (Bloody Vikings!)

  • James McCarty Yeager

    this guy is louie-gohmert-class insentient. there are cabbages with more intellectual firepower than oughtta-be-silent-tom has. AND he’s from arkansas, a state of inconvenience sandwiched by missouri and louisiana in one of the great contiguous-ignorance assemblages outside the kazakhstan-uzbekistan-kyrgyzstan cluster. thank you for filling his pustulent carcass full of pins.

    • MsAnthropesMr

      I like okra. It’s good fried.

      • High Fastening Kung Fu Pants

        excellent gumbo component

    • Toomush_Infer

      You left out a couple of stan-stans… just add ’em on anywhere and it’ll be ok….

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Arkansas. Your land-locked Florida.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Arkansas. Your land-locked Florida.

  • Callyson

    This asshole again?

    • dslindc

      Yes

      • elviouslyqueer

        Brolly Bunny approves this message.

    • Reddishrabbit

      Maybe him and McCain should start the Bomb Bomb Tehran Capella group. They could perform at the Defense Contractors Retreat.

  • PubOption

    “If Congress needs someone to stick out their neck on this issue, I’m their man.” – Tom Cotton

    • FlownOver

      Yet another argument against circumcision – intact foreskin woulda covered his mouth.

    • OneYieldRegular

      He meant that as a self-reflexive joke, right? I mean, he and McConnell oughta switch necks.

    • mailman27

      If only this were his swan song.

  • Jeremy McIntyre

    He must have someone who dresses him in the morning because I honestly don’t think he has the brain power to figure out how socks work.

    • MsAnthropesMr

      Socks go on, socks come off, who can explain it?

    • Spotts1701

      I figured he just scolded them until they hopped onto his feet.

    • Zippy

      remember that one kid in school whose mom always wrote his name in magic marker in his underwear?

      • TheBidenator

        Mike Huckabee’s mom spelled his name phonetically on his britches because she couldn’t remember what with how it goes, neither….

        • Toomush_Infer

          So…..A…S….W….H…..O….L…..E….?….

      • MsAnthropesMr

        Remember – I was that kid!

    • Latverian Diplomat

      You know that one sex ed video that pretends to be about socks, but is actually about condoms? He thought it was really about socks.

      On the plus side, it helped him a great deal in that respect.

      • AlanInSF

        Condoms work much better than breadbags, if you have very small feet.

  • FauxAntocles

    I AM COTTON, KING OF DERP!!

    • Zippy

      needs moar gin

      • Playonwords

        Needs a Luddite

    • H0mer0

      Is that to the tune of “I am Woman”?

      • dshwa

        I am Cotton, hear me roar
        with dumbness too big to ignore.

  • Spotts1701

    Don’t worry none, Senator. There will still be plenty of symbolic “hate the President” votes for you to cast before 2017.

    • D G

      Unless Reid keeps cockblocking them on their OWN legislation (LOL) that gave Obama the ability to run his end, or run around his end? I didn’t quite catch that, jam his end down his throat???
      Are these saying in Arkansas?!

      The R’s got schooled on their own “compromise” bill, like Obama as a pilot handing Cotton a pair of flight wings and saying “Yes, son, you’re flying the plane also” *tapping Cotton on his head

  • HogeyeGrex
    • gedjcj

      “I say, about as sharp as a pound of wet leather.”

      • Sam Hain

        With all the couth of a potato and the gumption of a dirty jock strap.

  • TheBidenator

    Tom Cotton is that super intelligent guy who’s had to be resuscitated numerous times after accidentally strangling himself whilst trying to tie his tie….

    • willi0000000

      nah . . . he just forgot to breathe.

  • HogeyeGrex

    like a toddler who needs a diaper change

    Like?

    • Zippy

      toddler libul!!1!

      • Antimassacree

        Exactly, most toddlers could do a better job of ‘playing well with others’ (at least sometimes) than Cotton.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    What a dick.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Dear Tom:

    For the next 18 months, I’m still the boss of you. Now kindly fuck off, you weasly little diaper-filler.

    No love,

    Barry

  • Msgr_Moment

    Don’t worry. Billy Kristol thinks he might be the dark horse GOP preznintial black horse candidate to save them from electoral embarassment, so he should be self-destructing any minute now.

    • no.

      no i mean seriously.

      no.

    • Judith_Priest

      Bill “I Have Been Wrong About Everything Since the Year 2000, At LEAST!” Kristol?

      Oh yeah. Wise move.

      Man, we are seeing the GOP *ID* in full flower, aren’t we?

      I still just can’t figure out how these obvious idiotic shenanigans thrill and delight this country’s noisy homophobic xenophobic angry stupids, but they sure DO.

  • TheBidenator

    I will say this much, for people who are endlessly obsessive over masculinity and heterosexuality Republican dudes sure love to use the “rammed down our throats” statement for everything….it’s almost, Freudian.
    Also, there are numerous BETTER phrases such as “pushed on to the American people” or “hastily created and pressed” but personally I snicker every time one of these idiots goes to the throat ramming card like it’s the beginning of some big ole gay “Dear Penthouse” story or something….

    • Judith_Priest

      I’ve noticed that too. NO ONE is more hilariously obsessed with homosexuality than the group of phony Twats currently calling themselves the Religious Right.

      Eff those guys, and their bitchy-but-meek little wiveypoos, too.

    • eddi

      I don’t know if it is Freud’s showing or they have fixated on that phrase because one target audience of over-60 white males approved of it.

    • Sam Hain

      Yes, the toe tapping in Airports and Downtown Abbey offices are circumspect as well. Thou doth protest thee throat-ramming too much.

  • marxalot

    Cotton starts talking and I just…

  • Mavenmaven

    Keeping in mind that Tom Cotton is literally owned by the arms manufacturers, the idea of the USA going to war with Iran, China, and Russia gives him and his bank account a woody.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    Are the Oath Keepers going to deploy to D.C. to remind Cotton he needs to respect all aspects of the Constitution, including the filibuster and executive agreements? Or are they still in their motel room pretending nothing happened?

    • HeywoodJablomey

      They’re too busy cherry-picking, sorry.

  • ShriekinViolet

    It’s like he’s all id. And not the fun part of the id, either. Just the part that doesn’t understand why everyone doesn’t think like him.

    Or maybe it’s all Dunning-Kruger.

    No, I’m wrong again. It’s the angry id of Dunning-Kruger.

    • Vienna Woods

      You left off the iot.

    • bobbert

      Dunning-Kruger and the Angry Id.

      Worst Hedwig remake ever.

  • God, he’s like someone said “We need another Paul Ryan…but for foreign policy instead of economics!” and they made one in a genetic engineering lab.

  • “Tom Cotton” sounds like a character from an old-timey political cartoon.

    • eddi

      Teddy would pimp-slap Tommy into a permanent spin, wrap him in copper wire and light the White House with free electricity.

  • He knows that a majority of Americans and Senators oppose this dangerous deal

    And I’m sure a high proportion of those who oppose it can actually spell out its terms.

  • The Congress and the president should speak with one voice

    Too bad Republicans explicitly dedicated themselves to preventing that from ever happening.

    • Judith_Priest

      PROUDLY!

      FROM DAY ONE!!!!

      They think this makes them *heroes*!

  • “While Cotton has been throwing a temper tantrum like a toddler who needs a diaper change, …”

    One package of disposable baby diapers is in the mail to Tom Cotton from RnW. Thanks for pointing out the need, Kaili Joy!

    • ez

      or perhaps Senator Vitter could share some of his diaper supply?

  • Steven M. Harries

    This Cotton’s on too much gin.

  • beatbort

    In Iran’s top power circles, they’re sitting around, paraphrasing Mike Huckabee on Bad Lip Reading, by saying, “Who is this mengie?” And someone else says, “He pooped on the treadmill” and then everything else is drowned out in laughter.

  • BillWestern

    C’mon Tom, tell us we should put the Iran deal to a referendum, popular will. What a dope.

    • eddi

      Even if he can’t count, his handlers can. The referendum would pass the deal.

  • BearGHAZI

    if I just got a nickel for every throat I rammed…

  • Sheepshagger

    What did Tom Waits say?

    “I don’t wanna have to figure something out
    I don’t wanna be filled with doubt
    I don’t wanna grow up”

    He knew his bastard son.

    • Thurman Munster IV

      He also said that a rat knows when he’s in with weasels. In this case, they’re one and the same.

  • JustPixelz

    “…the president ram [the Iran deal] down the throats of the American people.”

    Say … you what else you can ram down someone’s throat?

    • 19th Amendment

      Citizens United?

      • HeywoodJablomey

        I, too, am sick and tired of having All The Things crammed down my throat. Can I please have this issue crammed up my butt?

    • thenearesthippie

      Hobby Lobby?

    • Razor’s Edge

      Deez nutz

    • MrBlobfish

      Ricola!

    • w9anthimos

      In Guantanamo it’s called a ‘lunch delivery system.’

      • Playonwords

        I thought the pipe went in the other end

    • John Smith

      Donald Trump!!!

    • John Smith

      Donald Trump!!!

    • John Smith

      Donald Trump!!!

  • 19th Amendment

    Denying the people a voice is what the Republican party lives for, it’s the sole reason they lurch out of their caves each day they legislate against women’s personal issues. Tom Cotton needs a butt-swatting and a time out in the corner until at least Nov. 2020.

    • H0mer0

      hee hee, I thought at first you typed butt-shaving. Soooo white…

  • Clay Denton

    Why doesn’t Mr Cotton run for the Presidency? He already thinks he could do a better job.

    • Tansy Geek

      Give him time. Next time the GOP clown car fills up in 2020 he’ll undoubtedly be there.

      • Treg Brown

        Finally a presidential candidate who won’t have muffin top during the swimsuit competition.

        • eddi

          We can call him the Dud Stud when he fires up to ol’ prez election engine. You do realize there is time for him to come in like the 7th Cavalry and save the GOP from the ravening hordes of mud people. Sounds like a rejected Hollywood script.

        • Tansy Geek

          But that Adam’s apple though. Ugh.

  • RoyalUglyDude

    the president did an end-run around the Constitution by refusing to submit the Iran deal as a treaty

    For crying out loud. Iran’s Foreign Minister already explained the difference between a treaty and an executive agreement to you. And it was hilarious. Are you just going to pretend that didn’t happen?

    • Unforgotten

      Supposing that he has not ‘blocked’ the whole incident from his mind (kinda like a guy with the worst hangover in the world being unable to recall exactly what he did while he was drunk, or in this case ‘sober’ – but not sane), YES HE WILL!!!!

    • D G

      BUT I WANNA CALL IT A TREATY!!!!! NO FAIRZ!

    • HeywoodJablomey

      Correctamundo. It’s not a treaty, 5+1 is on board, and Bamz doesn’t GAF.
      I swear, my bowels get loose at the thought that these dangerous idiots are willing to, at the least, fuck over a huge part of the globe, and at worst engage in another ME war because of their oppostional defiance disorder. It defies all reason. There is no “better deal”! While this was being hashed out for almost two years, you were here at home wanking off as usual. Sit down and STFU, you’re making a goddamn mockery of this country.

  • mailman27

    It wouldn’t be easy cramming anything down that long-ass throat. His throat’s so long he stretches the truth every time he talks.

  • jviscont1

    I wouldn’t trust my neighbors thoughts on any decision beyond recommended lawn mower settings.

    • r m reddicks

      I told you it was too low.

  • AlanInSF

    The average Republican gets throat-crammed more often than he gets laid.

    • Drew Miner

      …and while they say no, no, with their all caps message board posts and crazy chain emails, there is “Yes, Yes!” in their outside voice. Also, the kneeling, the kneeling they do contributes to the throat cramming they receive.

  • Capt.Jim

    WTHF !!!!Who would think that a senator might filibuster and obstruct in the USA of America that is totally unfucking thinkable and has surely never happened afore in the history of this great land.out of fucks to give B Barry Hussein Hitler Obama is out of control cramming shit down the throats of the majority ever since he Benghazied with Iran as a little boy

  • Fly

    Cotton is a foreign policy wank.

    • D G

      HA!

    • chimichanga

      Or Wankette. Maybe that’s a reach…(around)

    • Sam Hain

      …wanker, if you’re British of course.

    • Antimassacree

      Although this implies he has a grip on foreign policy.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Lately they’re calling the war party in Congress the Cottonmouths. They needed a name, and they’re a nest of snakes.

    • r m reddicks

      water moccasin libel!

    • Toomush_Infer

      I’ve had it with these mother-fuckin’ clowns in this mother-fuckin’ clown car!….

  • ez

    I thought Milo Minderbender had cornered the market on Cotton. How did this guy get away?

    • shaar dula

      this cotton is prolly different. he might like horse chestnuts or crab apples in his mouth. but i strongly request all concerneds, especially those that are not mechanically-aptituded, to refrain from asking why.

      • jmk

        Like Clevinger, he certainly makes the time go slower.

    • fifthdentist

      A gajillion bonus points for the “Catch-22” reference.

    • Captain Kraut

      But I wanted eggs!?! What about eggs from Malta?

  • Jen_Baker_VA

    Thrrroooaaaattt crrraaaammmmm

    Damn, with all the stuff that has been crammed down this guy’s throat, you’d think he’d weigh more than 90 lbs?

    • Celtic_Gnome

      It does explain a lot. All this time, I thought he just had a weirdly prominent adams apple.

      • Judith_Priest

        I think Ann Coulter’s is still bigger.

  • D G

    “Congress won’t even get the little oversight we were provided in Corker-Cardin”

    And this Mr. Cotton, is why you will ALWAYS be schooled by Obama, because he is a much, much, much better politician than you when it comes to getting things done.

    LOL- YOU all GAVE him that power. Seriously, you went to FUCKING HAVVAAAD, and this is what you picked up in Amer. Gov. 101???

    Folks, this is “smart” in Arkansas.

    • dshwa

      I’m starting to suspect that Haavvaaad might be a tad overrated.

      • D G

        SAME.

      • Lot_49

        It’s all that legacy admission affirmative action for the Riches. They gotta let in even the challenged ones, like Dumbya, and this sometimes has disastrous consequences.

      • handyhippie65

        methinks you are on to something there. it is almost like alumni donations are more important than educations. i guess they are like the online unis, just selling a diploma. who’da thunk it?

        • FukuiSanYesOta

          I went to Oxford. I met the smartest people I’ve ever met there. Most were fuckwits whose families had money.

          • D G

            My Crim Law professor went to Oxford and was Navy JAG, SUPER F ING SMART and sharp.

            Really enjoyed his class.

            Fuck those other fuckwits. Legacy bullshit is bullshit.

    • r m reddicks

      Also and too, constitution thingies.

    • Pierre_de_Fermat

      There has been an interesting suggestion that the deal will pass and that won’t be upsetting to the Republican leadership. Except they have made total opposition their go-to strategy and can’t really explain this to their followers. So opposition must be maintained.

      • D G

        Their entire existence in Obama’s admin has been complete and total opposition, even to sh===t THEY liked BEFORE Obama said he liked it.

        Same goes for a multitude of judicial nominees, including those suggested BY the R’s who then later opposed their own suggestions for nomination.

        Pathetic really.

  • dshwa

    I would love if someone would channel their inner Rock on Cotton.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S1qDdq0Zws

  • VandeGraf

    I wish the good ship Robert E Lee would carry this Cotton away.

  • Reddishrabbit

    This Cotton.
    I need some Gin.

    • r m reddicks

      How abouts we run him through a gin?

      • handyhippie65

        won’t that make it taste weird?

  • Beowoof14

    Let’s see where could Harry Reid have learned such a nefarious trick as not letting anything to a straight up or down vote? I think the answer would be your asshole republican predecessors Tom.

  • DahBoner

    My bunghole needs T.P. with more Cotton…

    https://media1.giphy.com/media/OUe9W1Y5lUCgo/200w_d.gif

    • handyhippie65

      all hail the great cornholio!

  • Onanomus

    Cotton is a frustrated closeted Homosexual .. we can still say that right.. like so many other public gay man who pretended no to be gay, this much rumptight rage can only mean he is hiding something.. as we have seen far too often .maybe a thing for Obama… He and Lindsey need to just come on out.. We promise we won’t bite.. much…

    • Mintie

      Actually, given his obsession with the Middle East, I’d guess the only thing in his closet is a belly dancing costume and a copy of The Perfumed Garden.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    hat, in the name of all that is holy, did this guy have to campaign against to win that election?

    • a sitting son of a sitting senator and former governor from arkansas.

  • janecita

    Cotton and Walker, look like identical twins separated at birth. It’s uncanny.

    • BigShinyNoseHair

      God told me there was simply too much stupid to cram into a single pointy teabagger skull. This guy holds Walker’s overflow nitwittedness. Sorry for the redundancy.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      They were definitely both born with the cord around their necks, for sure.

  • Enfant Terrible

    Yes, “pwned” is still a thing. Happens all the time to Jeb!.

    • King Honkey

      Jeb happens to Jeb. You know, ‘Jeb! I’m only running cause Dad’s making me’

  • love you people and now need brain bleach.

    going to watch ‘how to train your dragon II’ and the opening scene (hillary!) of ‘shine a light’.

    night.

  • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

    Am I the only one who sees the similarity?

    • handyhippie65

      tigger is a good, and loyal friend, i have yet to figure out what cotton wad is good for. other than laughs.

  • Stein Olsen

    I know next to nothing about this guy other than what I read here, but I won’t let that stop me.
    Meet Tom Voldemort.

  • Lazy Media

    Meanwhile, cable news pays attention to this idiot, under the doctrine of “One the one hand, facts and science. On the other hand, a balancing opinion.”

  • smr06va

    Arkansas………………enuff already…………………

  • Nikkiru
  • King Honkey

    1. The average American is too dumb to know shit from shinola, let alone have their finger in the cornhole of a nuclear weapons deal.
    2. GOP Congressmen/Senators are dumber than the average American.
    3. Cotton better shut up or Emperor Obama won’t make him Mayor of Obama City, the Capitol of New Kenya (Formerly known as Texas).

    • rg9rts

      Finally a good use for Texas beyond a repository for spent uranium fuel rods

  • Relativicus

    Not for nothing, Tom, but we’ve been bombing the shit out of a couple countries without congressional sign-off, or discussion, for coming up on a year now. Maybe you could work on that?

  • Pierre_de_Fermat

    Didn’t Cotton rant on about the agreement only to have Minister Zarif, who seemed actually to have some knowledge of the US Constitution as opposed to Cotton’s ignorance of it, explain it to him? I’d check, but Cotton seems unaware that all agreements are not treaties. I believe most are not. So the Kenyan usurper is running rings around him?
    The thought of these doofuses ever controlling the foreign policy of this country is about as scary as the thought of them controlling the domestic or economic policy.

  • Charles Cates

    He looks like Huckleberry Hound. But doesn’t sound nearly as intelligent.

  • rg9rts

    Thats OK ….I have two local senators…Upchuck Schumer and Bummer Menendez that think the capitol of the US is not in Washington DC but rather Jerusalem …on both their email lists and told them both to buy an atlas

  • Sam Hain

    And then Ichabod Cotton, the headless Dumbass rode off into the sunset…after counseling enemies of state.

  • PirateCafe

    Traitor Tom Treason threatens temper tantrum to thwart treaty terms.

    Best I could do – not enough caffeine, yet.

    • Antimassacree

      Nice effort, but could use more “twattle.”

  • Lord-Nash

    Someone please stand up and pat Cotton on the head while reminding him this is shouldn’t be voted on because this is not a treaty, but an Executive Agreement, which Presidents enter all the fucking time. But the disadvantage is that this isn’t something enforceable. And he’ll need approval from Congress if he ever wants to permanently remove the sanctions. Which he has no chance of getting right now, but if time goes by and Iran appears to cooperate, it’ll have a bit more support. Republicans best hope is that right now all they can say is something of this magnitude must be brought before the Senate as a treaty. But they can’t force that issue either. Obama is basically saying “You say I can’t do this? Well I just fucking did.” But at the end of the day, I’d rather he just stand up and say “Then you fucking do better.”

    • Me not sure

      Well put. With executive agreements The Congress has to pass a veto proof act of disapproval in both houses. The house will easily pass such a measure with a normal majority. Some Democrats would have to defect to get a veto-proof majority. With only two defecting Democratic Senators there’s only a small chance of the Republicans getting a filibuster-proof majority (60) . If they do get a filibuster-proof majority they’ll never get to a veto-proof majority (67) . This appears to be a done deal.

    • LeftCoastLeftie

      and when you pat him on the head, be holding something heavy.

  • shaar dula

    “What an embarrassment Cotton is. Not sure if that’s his name, or a description of whats in his head.”

    This message is a quote from somebody on the youtubes & it vibrates* with me personally on many levels.

    *resonates –> used vibrates in recognition of cotton’s stellar efforts at social inclusiveness.

  • Gavin McDougald

    Quick question: Does anyone know if Tom here is an evangelical Christian hell bent on the destruction of Isreal so disemboweling Jesus will return to shepherd in the end times?

    Just curious.

    • shaar dula

      in anycase it would be irresponsible to ask.

  • Teto85

    Whatta maroon.

  • LeftCoastLeftie

    To Cotton’s fellow soldiers in Afghanistan:
    Thank you for your service, and
    Couldn’t you have fragged this dipshit before you came home?

    • Bren

      He gets his ass done regularly in the Senate bathroom I’ll bet.

  • Mintie

    Cotton’s doctor needs to take a hard line with the senator’s vitamin derp intake. It’s seriously affecting his performance.

  • wryawry

    I’d enjoy shittin’ in Tom Cotton.

  • Tom Cotton and Scott Walker ought to have themselves a real MMA cage match to determine who gets to wear the crown as the undisputed King of Derp (kicking, biting, gouging and hitting below the belt OK).

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