Sarah Palin loves Donald Trump, because he’s a BIG PICTURE, Joe Six-Pack kind of pompous billionaire asshole HERO, who doesn’t get mired down in little details like “policy” and “actual opinions” about stuff and things. And you know how Joe Six-Pack is, he’s a regular guy who just downed a six pack of Keystone Light and now he’s telling you what he thinks about America and you betcha, we need more people like like Joe Six-Pack, who is Donald Trump. Donald Trump!

She explained this to the Greta Van Susteren lady on the Fox News, because we guess she isn’t yet so completely overburdened with her new job that she can’t stop by and give Gret-Gret a little Alaskan reacharound. She was commenting on Trump’s newfound support for repealing birthright citizenship, and man oh man, if you ever were looking for Palin-ese distilled to its purest form, this is it, baby. Will Donald Trump be able to get the Messicans to build him a wall?

Heck yeah it’s possible! And his immigration policy and these comments and plans of his that most Americans, I believe, have been thinking, just not being able to say because we don’t have a microphone like he does…

You don’t, Governor Word Salad? OK, now tell us about how Trump is so “big picture,” and also simultaneously detail-oriented:

Well he’s talking big picture, of course, plus specifics, thankfully, more specifics than any other candidate, by the way, so it’ll be great to hear all 16, 17 of them reveal THEIR plans that would trump Trump’s [Ed. HA HA!]. I think that’s gonna be kinda tough to do though!

We interrupt this very important transcription to bring you a breaking screengrab from the interview:


Palin then says some things about how concerned she is about the Messicans taking jobs from the “young black men,” because those are her people, but fuck that, let’s skip forward. What about the sweet Messican babbies, Sarah Palin, you LOVE babies!

Well, see, and the argument about “It’s for the children” will be used over and over again to kinda portray probably all Republicans as being heartless, and nothing could be further from the truth! You know, a plank in our platform is “pro-family,” and a family is a unit! And I believe what Mr. Trump and probably the other Republican candidates … what they’re saying is yeah, a family is a unit, and if their parents broke the law, and if they’re here illegally, well, they need to get back in line, and because family is a unit, Greta! The family sticks together, and the kids have to get in line with their mom and dad!

Fuck those kids, because their Traditional Mexican-married parents are common criminals, probably the same rapists who are after Donald Trump, and even Mexican parents don’t like it when the kids get away from them in the grocery store, so they sure wouldn’t like it for them to disappear from the deportation line, I’m Sarah Palin and I approve this message!

The blouse really complements her derp.

All right, let’s close this fucker down with one more quote, which, as we said, is the most purely distilled Palin we’ve ever seen, about how Trump is just an everyday Joe Six-Pack idiot, who happens to be the richest man in the world, except for all the people who are richer than he is:

He is the best thing to happen to the permanent political class since, oh I guess, the beauty of the Tea Party genuine movement rose up and shined light on crony capitalism and pulled the rug right out from under status quo politicians who just, you know, kind of embrace that kind of permanent political class.

Donald Trump, he’s got these Joe Six-Pack issues on his mind, and he’s got these Joe Six-Pack common sense solutions — he just happens to be an extremely successful and charismatic, with a very large platform, Joe Six-Pack.

Tea Party Genuine Movement, y’all. They’re not just teabaggers, they’re GENUINE teabaggers, and they’ve got those Joe Six-Pack issues on their minds, and they really like a large platform (YOOOOOGE), and lastly and most importantly, Joe Six-Pack.

Palin’s still got it, y’all. Nobody drunk-yammers like that woman, except her new husband Donald Trump maybe. MAN, she wants to be his running mate.

[Mediaite via Raw Story]



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  • Nounverb911

    Is Trumps deports the 11 Million ‘illegals’, then who is going to harvest all of Bristol’s Bristol Meth plants?

  • Nounverb911

    “MAN, she wants to be his running mate.”
    Sarah’s not 10 enough anymore for Trump. (As if she ever was).

  • Vienna Woods

    I was going to say that I missed the Fartknocker screen grabs, then got to the last one, and now I am happy. Nice work, screen grabber!

  • cousin itt

    a family is a unit!

    Hey, Sarah, I got yer unit right here.


    • Relativicus

      You snark, but that line would be gold at the Palin Family Barbecue and Brawl.

  • DerrickWildcat

    Low hanging fruit. Enough of that lady.

    • cousin itt

      Now, I don’t think we need to be disparaging of her girl parts just because she’s an old witch.

      • DerrickWildcat

        Poo on you!

        • cousin itt

          What I do for fun is my business.

          • DerrickWildcat

            Then two poos

  • Angry_Cop

    “Tea Party genuine movement”

    I have been waiting for a “tell” from her for quite some time. This is it. She knows it’s total horseshit, just like all the other total horseshit she regularly spews from her mouthhole.

    Total grifter, doesn’t believe a word she’s saying. Just in it to take money off of rubes who are too stupid to know they should keep it.

    • Vienna Woods

      I had a genuine movement just this morning!

  • memzilla

    TRUMP / PALIN OXY / METH 2016!!1!!

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …is it normal to get nosebleeds whenever you read Sarah Palin quotes?!

    • Msgr_Moment


    • junior friggster


      • AngryBlakGuy

        …it is that time of the month!

    • Sam Hain

      Yes, as well as: migraines, STDs, urges to go drunk-kung-fu-fightin and a desire toquit your job.

  • Michael Smith

    The thing is, most of Trump’s supporters think Palin would be a pretty good VP, just as long as her womanly deficiencies are properly managed by Trump or another man. And, since Palin is a conservative, she wouldn’t stubbornly resist such guidance the way a feminazi like Hillary would.

    But on some level I’d still love to see it happen just for further proof that Trump’s wingnut support is virtually unconditional. It reminds of an interview I read with Vince Gilligan, where he said that he kept making Walter White more and more despicable, and yet fans just wouldn’t stop loving him and claiming that he was in the right.

    Maybe Trump read that interview too.

    • junior friggster

      Does the First Runner-Up do the Vice Prezzing when Sarah’s perioding?

      Pageant rules are soooooo arcane.

      • Michael Smith

        I believe that is the correct procedure. And whether she is perioding is determinable at the sole discretion of Trump.

  • ArgieBargie

    “The family sticks together, and the kids have to get in line with their mom and dad!”

    Brisdull is obviously “in line,” which is why she continues to get pregnant.

  • Msgr_Moment

    Noun, Verb, Joe 6-Pack

  • OneYieldRegular

    Western civilization has come a long way from Plato’s Philosopher-King to Palin’s drunken beer-slob.

  • mardam422

    She never fails to deliver, does she? If the FSM hadn’t made Sar Pal (quits after half of everything), then Democrats would have had to invent her.

  • Lizzietish81
    • nothingisamiss

      Is it TMI that I know every word of this song? (Sound track to Earth Girls Are Easy.)

    • nothingisamiss

      Also…too much to ask that this becomes Donald’s theme song for GOP women’s outreach?

  • marxalot


  • SuspectedDemocrat

    Clever of the Democrats to use their 2008 plant in support of their 2016 plant. Not that I’m suggesting any of this is.

    • mardam422

      This HAS to be what’s going on here. I mean, seriously. If you wrote this as a Broadway play it would be like Springtime for Hitler. It can’t be true…can it?

      • SnarkTank

        You’re scaring the shit out of me. “Springtime for Hitler” was a smash hit!

        • mardam422

          Exactly. As is Trump and Palin. To quote Jerry Seinfeld…”it makes no sense!”.

      • LIT_Fag

        Only this one would be called Springtime For Hillary.

    • Comrade Wingtardd 5467p

      Sometimes I toy with the idea that Donald’s engaging in a grand performance art to destroy the republican party. It simply could not be better. He’s sucked all the news energy away from the faux Sanders scandals, mostly leaves Hillary alone, and attacks other republicans like a crazed animal, and adopts positions that make him completely unelectable. But then maybe, just maybe, he’s just an asshole.

  • cousin itt

    most Americans, I believe, have been thinking

    Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. Or just a couple of brain cells firing.

  • Relativicus

    VP? That might explain her current need to “work.” But I dunno, I doubt she’s that ambitious at this stage. In a Trump (козырь!) administration, I think she’d probably be happy to take any position that puts her first in the line of succession.

    • cousin itt

      Reverse cowpatty?

    • Jen_Baker_VA


      • Relativicus

        That’s what my Cossack Grandma* says!

        *Her name is Google Translate. Shut up, I know it’s silly but it’s a family name.

  • mardam422

    For just the laughs, notwithstanding the horror of a Trump/Palin administration, can you imagine Barstool with Secret Service protection? God, the reality show writes itself.

    • Michael Smith

      And the weird porno.


        Two Mules For Sister Sarah?

    • Lizzietish81

      Dear Penthouse….

      • mardam422

        I’m a Secret Service agent in a small Alaska town. I never thought it would happen to me, but one day….

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      Try and kick her out of your birthday party now, Wasilla neighbors!

    • Michael Smith

      For just $7.99, you get 24 hours of one of our several luscious films:

      “10 Pistols and a Bristol” – In this installment of the wildly popular series, President Palin’s vacation to the Jersey Shore is interrupted by ISIS. But with the help of her *hand picked* squad of Sexy Service Agents, First Daughter Bristol converts each terrorist one by one, using her traditional methods of convincing.

    • Beaumarchais?

      Meth, hookers, cocaine, wine coolers, and everyone’s armed. What could go wrong?

      • stevola

        And Bristol would be acting badly too.

  • dslindc

    That is some sloppy word salad right there. Maybe throw in a “Lipstick!” and a “Maverick!” and she can head on home. After all, working is hard.

    • Shibusa

      Also, “Reagan”, “tax cuts”, “liberty”, “Jesus”, and “freedom”.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Take it easy. Her palms aren’t that big.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    Palin then says some things about how concerned she is about the Messicans taking jobs from the “young black men,” because those are her people, but fuck that, let’s skip forward. What about the sweet Messican babbies, Sarah Palin, you LOVE babies!”

    …I have a feeling she is referring to the “jobs” in the fields where Mexican workers are paid pennies on the dollar for back breaking labor

    • ThePuckStopsHere

      When she evokes a concern about jobs being taken from “young black men,” I believe what she means are jobs “real Americans” aren’t willing to do.

  • Lizzietish81

    “crony capitalism”

    Whoa whoa whoa! What kind of commie talk is that?!

    • OneYieldRegular

      Also, too, does she have the faintest idea what Donald Trump does to make his billions?

      • Lizzietish81

        Work hard and be all mavericky?

      • SnarkTank

        Start with even more billions?

  • Randy Riddle

    “He is the best thing to happen to the permanent political class since, oh I guess, the beauty of the Tea Party genuine movement rose up and shined light on crony capitalism and pulled the rug right out from under status quo politicians who just, you know, kind of embrace that kind of permanent political class.”

    That’s about ten run-on sentences. Jeebus, lady, take a breath and insert a pause now and then. You sound like the speeded up terms and conditions at the end of an pharmaceutical ad on the radio.

    • It’s a rhetorical ourborus with severe indigestion.

    • marxalot

      I am so tired of people using “shined” when they mean “shone.” There. I said it.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        They should be hung hanged.

        • Vienna Woods

          YES. I hate that one. But I love it when my students try to “correct” me when I use it properly. And then I BLOW THEIR MINDS.

        • stevola

          Well hanged?

      • chicken thief

        It does sound gooder when you say it that way.

      • Beaumarchais?

        It’s a disappearing tense. Awakened for awoke. I rided to the pool, where I swimmed.

    • AnOuthouse

      They managed to catch her in the middle of an eight ball.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      One trick some stupid people learn is to never leave room for laughter or exasperation to get in edgewise.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Secret to her success: By the time she stops to inhale, nobody remembers what the fuck she’s actually said.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      It’s the meth talking.

  • Spotts1701

    Not the “guy I’d like to have a beer with” criteria again

    • Belasaurius

      in Sarah’s case, it’s the guy I would smoke meth with

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      It’s more like the “guy I would, if I found myself locked in a room with, drink myself to blackout” criteria.

      • I don’t think Sarah would have to be black-out drunk to … oh, I see what you’re talking about.

      • nothingisamiss

        I thinkI’d have to be more careful than that, despite not being a 10.

  • Belasaurius

    two Palin stories in 1 DAY! Happiness mixed with horror

  • Dave

    What is the deal with calling people joe-six pack? I like a beer now and again. I rarely think of it as my defining charistic.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Oh, you’re that “Joe – a beer now and again” aren’t you???

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      For many of her fans, that is their defining charateristic.

    • Beaumarchais?

      How do you feel about wine coolers? And could you get married real fast? Asking for a friend.

  • AnOuthouse

    What if the parents aren’t married?
    What if the children are all bastard children and out of wedlocked?
    How would it work then?

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      Don’t confuse Sarah with unfounded hypotheticals, or words like hypothetical.

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        or words like “are” and “aren’t”

    • KCF

      What if one parent is “illegal” and the other parent is a US citizen? Do they ship one parent back with the “anchor baby”? Is it fine and dandy to separate a newborn from its mommy?

  • Anarchy Pony

    The stupid! It burns!

  • BOOBS!

    • SuspectedDemocrat


      • cousin itt

        Some silicone sister with a manager?

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Alaskan reacharound” was the original proposed name for the Bering Land Bridge, but it sank without a trace.

  • cousin itt

    You know, a plank in our platform is just nuts.

  • Callyson

    Sarah Palin Likes Her Men Dumb And Drunk, Like Donald Trump

    I read somewhere that Donald Trump doesn’t drink. Could have fooled me…

  • Belasaurius

    I would like to congratulate and offer to gaymarry whoever takes the screen shots. In your work, you capture the exact moments that the half-dead rat on the wheel in her head vomits and passes the fuck out.

  • SK

    McCain must be rolling in his grave right now.

    • Lizzietish81

      His wife then complains that it’s not the first of the month yet.

    • BehaveYrself

      Today’s winning comment. Too bad they aren’t allowed.

  • Me not sure

    “I love Sarah Palin, I really do, but she will never be my running mate because she’s already shown herself to be a yooooge loser, electorally speaking.”


    Palin family values: The ENTIRE family should suffer together as a unit

  • chimichanga

    What a couple o’ boobs!

  • DahBoner


    You know which President is Joe Six Pack, right?×300/59087864.jpg

  • Indiepalin

    Fuck that pussy, Joe Six-Pack. I’m voting for Tommy Twelve-Pack.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      Stay gold, Pony Keg.

  • Marie Watkins Crocker

    “Running mate” hurr hurr hurr

  • elviouslyqueer

    Yea, just…

  • Jen_Baker_VA

    :facepalm: Do these people not understand how fucking god awful it is to say that immigrants are taking the black man’s jobs????? They need to stop saying that, for really really reals.

    • chicken thief

      Maybe that was a rhetorical question, but I’ll give it a shot anyway: no.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      I’d rather they keep saying it, since it’s what they believe.

  • Steven M. Harries

    When will Greta Van Susteren finally realize that Palin is really Xenu?

    • SK

      When she jumps up and down on her couch yelling “TRUMP!”

      • Steven M. Harries

        I thought Palin only did the Cruise when she wanted to induce an abortion on an airplane.

  • chicken thief

    “…he just happens to be an extremely successful and charismatic, with a very large platform, Joe Six-Pack.”

    And I just wanna suck his cock like Larry Craig havin at it, ya know, in a airport bathroom like maybe it was the last cock in the world or maybe like Bristol and Levi oh.em.gee, did they go at it even like me and Tawd used to do, you betcha…..

  • Oblios_Cap

    he just happens to be an extremely successful and charismatic, with a very large platform

    Sort of like Ewan McGregor had a huge talent in “Moulin Rouge?

  • elviouslyqueer

    You know, a plank in our platform is “pro-family,” and a family is a unit!

    Well Trixie, in your case that unit is comprised of two whiny, self-absorbed Grifterella Jrs., a passel of sons named after assorted pieces of farm equipment, a rootin-tootin-rough-snowmobiling-bimbo-who-isn’t-his-wife fucker, various and sundry trailer-park-inhabiting cousins who may or may not be boyfriends of aforementioned Grifterella Jrs., at least two meth labs, and a mom who wouldn’t know the meaning of the phrase “STFU” if it was written down on parchment and shoved up her ass sideways. Twice.

    • nothingisamiss

      Oh thank you, honey. That was lovely.

  • NotReveen

    Why can’t Donald Trump hire somebody to teach him how to wear a baseball cap?

    • beatbort

      Donald Trump doesn’t wear a baseball cap. The baseball cap wears Donald Trump.

      • BehaveYrself

        Donald Trump’s Baseball Cap for Prez! Make America Great Again!

    • chicken thief

      How much CLASSIER could that hat be on The Donald’s ferret and skull?

      None classier.

      • Kakkeltje

        Trump and Palin should start a new party and then you can call them ‘the Wigs’.

  • exinkwretch

    I am in awe of Caribou Barbie’s vocal gymnastics. I could not approach that even after downing a full fifth of good Scotch.

    • Suttree

      How about a half gallon of turpentine?

  • beatbort

    I’m beginning to grow weary of this Reality TV show. When will it be canceled?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      When the ratings drop.

  • chicken thief

    Are Sarah and Greta having an affair or something? Or is Sarah just tired of Sean running his hand up her leg? WTF IS GOING ON?! Why ain’t the Tundra Grifter on other Fox shows?!


      She and Greta synced up

    • SK

      Her husband worked for and was part of the gang that started and ran Palin’s PAC in the aftermath of the 2008 loss.

      • chicken thief

        That ‘splains it. Thank you! Because her and Greta doing the nasty would have been pure speculation, but since neither have denied it, I suppose it could be true.

  • Squirrels05

    We have a president whose WH makes beer, and Turmp is ‘Joe Six Pack’? Gov. Quitterface must be strung out on diet Dr. Pepper again.

  • beatbort

    Guys: Sister Sarah has just given you a great pickup line for your next foray into Unhappy Hour: “Hey there, little lady, I’ve got a very large platform, ya know.”

  • MrBlobfish

    That was awesome, baby. I need a cigarette.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    “…the beauty of the Tea Party genuine movement rose up and shined light on crony capitalism.”
    Here’s the real beauty of it, you brain-dead twunt:

  • BPMM

    Sarah Palin knows how to pick her favorite men…..Phil Robertson, Ted Nugent, and now Donald Trump. Liars, cheaters, draft dodgers and pedophiles.

    • zerosumgame0005

      how did she miss Jared?

    • And don’t forget job of head pom-pom girl as part of the Duggar cheerleading squad.

  • BehaveYrself

    She holds her breath and swallows so hard, thinkin’ and all. Is she thinkin’ of the “right” word salad to toss, or the Trump salad she’d like to toss?

    • zerosumgame0005

      if only she had swallowed more often…her mom also too

  • Vienna Woods

    Joe Six-Pack wouldn’t eat his pizza with a fork. I’m just sayin’

  • proudgrampa

    The Stream of Unconsciousness continues…

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Slightly O.T., but i saw a clip of Billo going all Billo on Trump on the 14th Amendment thing. Between Scylla and Charybdis I know, but may God strike me dead, I was hella down with Billo on this one.

  • zerosumgame0005

    seriously, Sarah fapping to the Trump is kind of sick…and not in the good way!

  • Mavenmaven

    Wow, amazing how cheaply Palin can be bought, one slice of pizza in NYC and she is in his camp forever! What would she do for him if he also bought her a beer?

    • Celtic_Gnome

      It involves a goat, a leather dildo, and a pair of high-heeled American flag sneakers.

  • JVB

    This is Sarah every time the Donald’s name is mentioned :-)

    • SK

      That looks like she’s in need of an exorcist.
      Paging Jindal in the klown kar…

      • Comrade Wingtardd 5467p

        Speaking of Jindal, there aren’t enough stories on him – I mean, here, at Wonkette. I know he’s so pathetic he’s almost impossible to make funny but think of it as a challenge. The fact that he’s still in the race is quite incredible in itself.


  • Mehmeisterjr

    I suspect that Palin pounded down a six pack of 16 oz’ers just before this interview.

    Also, too, on a scale of 10, where Heidi Klum is 9.99, what is Sarah?

    • Steverino247

      An irrational number.

  • Ryan Denniston

    Is Joe six pack like a Joe the plumber?

  • YayConspiracy

    There used to be a time in German history when the whole family was made to take responsibility for one member’s actions: It was called Sippenhaft.

  • herrointment

    She looks better but I won’t listen to her.

    Wasn’t the TP a product of Phil Graham and his ilk?

    • bobbert

      Dick Army Armey.

  • SterWonk

    “…we don’t have a microphone…”

    Say, didn’t someone have a subscription TV channel on the Internet? I’m pretty sure there were microphones involved…

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Considering the production values I saw on display there, that assumes facts not in evidence.

      • SterWonk

        Touché :-)

  • say wha

    After reading this, I find myself inexplicably thirsty.

  • azeyote

    hey come clean – you guys pay these idiots, to act stupid, so you all can make fun of them – don’t ya ?

  • Comrade Wingtardd 5467p

    under reporting on Jindal today again, Mrs. Wonkette? He’s still running .. I believe this is noteworthy. As it will be in 2019 when he’s still campaigning, and still jabbering and yammering. Mark my words this shit will happen.

  • SK

    In the Trump administration, the Palins should be in charge of two things:

    1. Building the wall that prevents pregnant woman from giving birth on US soil.
    2. Building a second wall that keeps Bristol from getting pregnant.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      She is just the woman for half of each job.

    • And providing kids with maps, such as.

      • SK

        No, that’d be Josh Duggar’s job.

  • JParkerSD46

    PDAN says that the Messicans are coming across our open borders, invited and incentivized, to take ‘Mericun jobs. Hey, PDAN, when you’ve blown off your guest gig on One America New and you need another job, maybe you and the Duggars can fight the brown hordes by taking those jobs back…for ‘Merica. P.S. Thanks PDAN for an amazingly YOOOGGE helping of absolutely indecipherable word salad. You’re a idiot.

  • mateo

    God these people are so short sightedly stupid. There is article after article that points to the fact that you have to win the Latino vote, it’s imperative for your political future to win the Latino vote, but they keep opening their stupid mouths and say shit like this.

    Our vote matters, because were the fastest growing “minority” and we will keep growing because we love making sweet brown babies. There’s no stopping us, mwahahahahahahaha!!!!

    • JohnE_o

      Shhhh – don’t tell them!

  • 24601

    Yes, idiot. Tie your rickety old wagon to a shooting asteroid that is going to implant itself so far into the earth’s mantle that its depth will not even be scientifically discernible.

  • JohnR

    My god the fucking sentence structure.

    • stevola

      How’d you find a sentence in there? All I saw was a random collection of letters.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        I was kinda impressed with the trumping Trump joke. She must have heard that at a drunken brawl.

  • 24601

    Sarah is still dying to give that concession speech.

  • Tendernob

    Why is Greta even hosting her? Was Carrot Top already booked at the Giggle Hut?

    I suspect Sarah Palin just hangs out on the sidewalk outside Fox News all day, sucking on a Big Gulp and yelling at pigeons.

  • Doug White

    Sure she wants to be his running mate… but he won’t choose her because she very clearly isn’t a ‘7’ anymore….

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Of course, if Trump is going up against Hillary, he’ll have to have a female VP. That’s just science.

  • JParkerSD46

    Just wondering…why should PDAN get the title “Governor” when addressed by Greta? Seeing as PDAN only served half a term, shouldn’t her title really be “Gove”?

  • Paperless Tiger

    I love the part where she claims they’re representing blacks by force-marching the immigrants out to protect their jobs. Then she turns around and calls them “cheap labor.” Nice. Whoops, there goes another demographic.

    • Those darn “illegals” are taking away solid potential slave labor. How unjust!

  • Portia McGonagal

    If Palin drinks a six pack before she spews words, do they make more or less sense? Has to be more because no way it could be less.

  • fawkedifiknow

    Brains of a bird flock together, or something like ‘at.

  • Vegan and Tiara

    “He is the best thing to happen to the permanent political class since, oh I guess, the beauty of the Tea Party genuine movement rose up and shined light on crony capitalism and pulled the rug right out from under status quo politicians who just, you know, kind of embrace that kind of permanent political class.”
    Somewhere a very sad Eric Cantor weeps quietly into his six-pack.

  • janecita

    Why is this fucking, meth old hag, still a thing? I just don’t get it!

  • BillWestern

    No Sarah, Donald Trump is not going to pick you as his running mate.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      I’d be willing to believe in God if He actually made that happen.

  • TheBidenator

    When she said “young black men” Snowzilla’s eyes glazed over for a moment as she remembered that one night where she let Glenn Rice take a trip to the hole all game long before her racist upbringing kicked in and left her in tears. Glenn Rice meanwhile thought, “What the hell did I sleep with? I must have been drunk!” and decided he’d never drink wine coolers with this woman again…

  • TheBidenator

    I just went and had a genuine movement that was far more beautiful than the Tea Party ever was or will be….

  • natoslug

    I’m not going to watch that video, nuh-uh. However, you made up that last quote, right? Nobody could be that phenomenally stupid. That has to be from a random quote generator that contains all of the 2012 teabagger slogans.

  • SK

    The family sticks together, and the kids have to get in line with their mom and dad!

    • KarenJ

      I wonder if any of the three on the right ran into Josh on Ashley Madison, where he had TWO accounts?

      • bobbert

        Oh, goodness.

      • dshwa

        Not a surprise. Was he swapping kiddie porn with Jared from Subway too?

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Is that pic from Ashley Madison?

  • Wow. I take it this time Palin forgot to wash the lettuce in her word salad.

  • bongo fury

    Why does she introduce her as “Governor?!? She ain’t no governor. She quit that just like she quits everything.

    • I know. I thought her current job title was “Quitterati”

    • EmmettGrogan

      Not many folks know this nowadays but it is proper to call someone governor if they have ever been governor. Kind of like calling a former president Mr. President. It’s a sign of respect Which means I wont be calling Sarah Pain “governor” any time soon.

  • KarenJ

    “You know, a plank in our platform is “pro-family,” and a family is a unit!…The family sticks together, and the kids have to get in line with their mom and dad!”

    I think this is the closest Mama Grizzled has come to acknowledging her Abstinence Spokesmodel spawn is…ahem, with bun in oven.

    • glennisw

      Hey, what’s more pro-family than keeping mom, dad and the kids together in the same cell at the detention camp?

  • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

    So, just how far can she get her nose up Trump’s ass? Let’s watch and see…..

  • ryp

    Joe Forty-Ounce says “Fuck that Donald Trump bullshit!”

  • dshwa

    I am now dumber for reading her words. Thank you so much.

  • leemoder

    It’s like I’m trapped on Mt. Everest, and I’m watching this roiling word-cloud of Thunderous Stupid blowing towards me.

  • Manhattan123

    Holy shit, she has hit that proverbial wall hard. Who is Rich Lowry of the National Review supposed to jack off to now, Nancy Reagan?

  • empf

    What the fuck is a Joe Six Pack? Sounds like a abs work out. And also so condescending.

  • Comrade Wingtardd 5467p

    Jesus he got Papa Bear to back down? Holy shit

  • Comrade Wingtardd 5467p

    Well, one person’s clown car is another’s cornucopia of riches.

  • Delu

    Trump also likes his men dumb and drunk?

    I never knew!

  • Thomas McCabe

    I thought Plank was one of her kids.

    • Comrade Wingtardd 5467p

      It’s not? Wait, what the hell was this about, anyway? None of it makes sense now.

  • NerdWithNoName

    “…a family is a unit!”
    You are a unit! Trump is a unit! All the GOP presidential candidates are units!

  • There is some pretty good research that shows people who have a poor skill set in a certain area (like logical reasoning) are also really bad a realizing that they have a poor skill set in that area. So if you don’t speak well, you also are not adept at detecting people who don’t speak well, especially yourself. I think this explains Sarah Palin. She has such poor logical reasoning skills that she cannot recognize that she has very poor reasoning skills, nor can she recognize that Donald Trump has poor reasoning skills.

    • EmmettGrogan

      Or she’s too stupid to know how stupid she is. She also crammed 4 yrs of college into 6 yrs, so she could learn public speaking. I think the colleges she went to should refund her money to her and take their diploma back.

  • Politics_Nerd

    If they ran together, I might burst. Out of gratitude to the God of Lulz and Popcorn Sales.

  • mtn_philosoph

    Funniest damn thing I’ve read in a long time! The quotes are pure comedy gold. Bravo, Evan! I had to grab onto my sides to keep from busting a gut. Seriously! This totally cracked me up.

  • Takoma DC

    He really needs to return to Drumpf.

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