Carly Fiorina Endorses Hillary Clinton For President

Another Hillary fan girl

We were under the impression that Queen of Fail Carly Fiorina does not think Hillary Clinton is qualified to be president. You know, because of how Fiorina is always saying that:  

“Like Hillary Clinton, I too have travelled hundreds of thousands of miles around the globe,” Fiorina told the crowd. “But unlike her, I have actually accomplished something. Mrs. Clinton, flying is an activity, not an accomplishment.”

Hillary Clinton has also never turned a major tech companyinto a pile of rubble, unlike Fiorina, a fact of which she is "extremely proud" -- and no, we still cannot understand why, but she plans "to run on that record all day long," and we wish her the best of luck withthatone.

But before Hillary Clinton was nothing more than was an unaccomplished jet-setter, she was basically the greatest American who ever lived, and Fiorina had Hillz posters all over her bedroom and used to writeMrs. Carly F. Rodham-Clintonin her notebook:

I have such great admiration and empathy for Hillary Clinton. I have great admiration for her because I know what it takes in some small measure to do what she has done. She is obviously incredibly intelligent, focused, tough, determined, empathetic of all the tens of millions of people that she was trying to represent in her quest to become the first woman president of the United States.

That was all the way back in 2008, before Clinton was appointed secretary of state and had racked up all those meaningless frequent flyer miles. It was also when Fiorina was a spokesquota for John McCain's campaign, before the campaign asked her to go away and please stop helping. Fiorina was more comfortable talking about sexism, even against Madam Hillz, which is not even a thing now, it is just dumb liberal "shameless, baseless propaganda." But in the before times:

And as a woman, I take great pride in the fact that Hillary Clinton ran for president. And I also watched with a lot of empathy as I saw how she was scrutinized, characterized, talked about as a woman.

While I think women have made great progress in so many ways, I also know from personal experience that women in positions of power, particularly bold women who are trying to drive change, as Hillary Clinton most surely is -- bold women, women in power, are characterized and scrutinized differently than their male counterparts are.

Nowadays, as we all know, Fiorina doesn't want to hear a word about how Hillary Clinton is a lady-woman, and that's why she, Fiorina, will make the best damn non-gendered woman candidate ever because of how she can neutralize Clinton's vagina with her own:

“If Hillary Clinton were to face a female nominee, there are a whole set of things that she won’t be able to talk about. She won’t be able to talk about being the first woman president. She won’t be able to talk about a war on women without being challenged. She won’t be able to play the gender card,” Fiorina said.

Team Fiorina says Fiorina's adoration of Clinton is all a bunch of old news nothing at all, Hitlery sucks, et cetera. Sure, Carly hearts Hillary in a non-partisan not-gay way, but not because Clinton has ever accomplished anything, just because of how she is a woman. Not that you should ever like someone just for being a woman, unless that woman is named Carly Fiorina, and then, by all means, get your feminism on, ladies, and vote for Carly.

[ BuzzFeed ]