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The sneering sack of fetid rectal discharge that is Mike Huckabee said some stupid this weekend. It wasn’t about Israel this time or about how as president, he will declare martial law to seize control of every poonany in America, for “life.” No, this weekend, on CNN, Huck went retro, reaching back to one of his all-time classics: “Screw you, rape victims.”

In response to the recent news that an 11-year-old in Paraguay had given birth after being raped and impregnated by her stepfather — because Paraguay is one of those countries that’s all, like, hey, too bad about the rape and all, but up yours, kid, no abortions for you — Huckabee opined on why there’s nothing wrong with that:

“A 10-year-old girl being raped is horrible. But does it solve a problem by taking the life of an innocent child? And that’s really the issue,” Huckabee said.

Let’s take a beat right there to marvel at this tub of rotted dick mold’s perfect representation of your standard “pro-life” mentality, seeking to turn that rape frown upside down, with a baby! There is no “but” here. Rape is horrible. Period. Full stop. THE END.

Now let’s take another beat to marvel at Huckabee’s wrongness. Because actually, yeah, abortion does solve a problem. It solves the problem of “I’m pregnant and don’t want to be pregnant.” (That’s one of many reasons that abortion is a wonderful thing. It saves lives and solves problems.) But oh, here is so much more stupid from Huckabee:

“There are two victims [in abortion]. One is the child; the other is that birth mother who often will go through extraordinary guilt years later when she begins to think through what happened — with the baby, with her. And again, there are no easy answers here,” Huckabee said.

Setting aside how referring to a woman who has an abortion (and ergo, not a birth) as a “birth mother” does not make any kind of sense at all, let’s refresh our memories on some SCIENCE on the “pro-life” myth of lifelong regret that inevitably follows an abortion. Remember?

According to a new study that tracked hundreds of women who had abortions, more than 95 percent of participants reported that ending a pregnancy was the right decision for them. Feelings of relief outweighed any negative emotions, even three years after the procedure.

Right, that. In almost all the cases of all the abortions ever, women are like, “Whew, glad I took care of that. AND I DON’T FEEL BAD ABOUT IT.” So this faux chivalrous impulse to protect women from the “extraordinary guilt” they’re too stupid to realize they will experience one day, even though they probably won’t, is quite unnecessary.

Not that anyone thinks for half a second Huckabee gives a good goddamn about women. If he did, he wouldn’t be telling them there are more important factors to consider, in a rape, like what Huckabee thinks about all that. Because he cares so much, you know. He’s the friendly, smiley, makes-you-laugh cuddly conservative — with a constipated lump of undigested roadkill where his heart should be.

[Crooks and Liars]

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  • Lizzietish81

    If she had been armed she could have shot her rapist, and then she wouldn’t even have been raped.

    QED LIBTARDS!

  • deanbooth

    Huckabee knows how to profit from baby parts.

  • Froggage

    Maybe if the idea of a fourth-grader having an incest rape babby warms his heart so goddamned much he should move to Paraguay and run for office there.

    • calliecallie

      I will buy his ticket!

      • I’ll make a catapult that will get him there for free.

        • John Smith

          Better distance with a trebuchet. By better, I mean less. Splash down!!

    • Antimassacree

      No need, he can just go back to Arkansas.

      • LIT_Fag

        Hey now! We don’t want him back. He did enough damage while he was here.

  • The Molten Soul

    Jay’ses, Mike. I’m starting to think you didn’t really read that book about that guy.

    • Lizzietish81

      I don’t know, it’s full of this kind of thing.

      • I’m pretty sure the Bible would require the 10-year-old to marry her rapist since no one else would take such damaged goods.

        • Antimassacree

          Deuteronomy 22:28-29 (also Exodus 22:16-17) The perpetrator is required to marry the rape victim and pay the 50 shekel bride price unless the father(!) doesn’t want the marriage. In that case, the perpetrator still pays the 50 shekels, but no marriage. Of course, not a word about the thoughts, feelings, or wishes of the actual victim.

          Full marks to Naked Bunny with a Whip.

  • JustPixelz

    Nothing says small government like forced birth.

    (my computer typed that by itself because it reads wonkette every day)

    • junior friggster

      Your computer is smarter than Mike Huckabee.

      (An abacus is smarter than Mike Huckabee.)

  • maman

    I was appalled reading about this yesterday. “Life of an innocent child”? Which fucking one asshat. The children had no choices in this case. The one’s who’s innocent life was ruined with rape and early motherhood and the fetus who has been delivered into this unholy mess.

    • KenRob

      The child forced to give birth after being raped, was the innocent life that was ruined Mike, you Gawd forsaken pervert whose very breathe is an insult to humanity.

  • JustPixelz

    Easy to see why Josh Duggar likes Huckabee.

    • Blank Ron

      The Huckster’s opinion does seem conveniently tailored to Josh’s situation*, doesn’t it?

      * You won’t convince me that something other than his finger wasn’t involved as well.

  • Msgr_Moment

    “…And again, there are no easy answers here,” Huckabee said.

    Other than the one that he is about to give….

    • Rick Hill

      Easy or simple minded?

      • eddi

        Easy for his simple-minded followers to cheer for. Rope ’em together, tie a millstone on the Huckster’s neck and dump them at sea. Even Jay approved of that for harming children. Of course he was pretty POed at the time.

  • Rick Hill

    “A ten year old girl, raped, why of course a terrible thing but gawd’s plan so What ya gonna do? Amirite?”
    Could someone make this guy frontrunner after Trump goes down in flames? Help out those poor folks who think there’s not a dime’s difference between the two parties.

  • memzilla

    And again, there are no easy answers here,” Huckabee said.

    “Go Fuck Yourself” is an extremely easy answer, you lackwitted waste of hemoglobin.

  • coozledad

    Well, that could easily have been his bro Josh Duggar’s rape baby. He’s just protecting the interests of the spooge of his metaphorical constituency.

  • Rick Hill

    Of course this is your response when you gotta build your base one inbred soul at a time

  • I find it incredibly offensive that you would compare Huckabee to a sack of shit. A sack of shit can be used to fertilize flowers making something beautiful, or fertilize crops making something useful. You can even use a sack of shit to attract flies to feed your pet spider. Huckabee has no use whatsoever.

    • Ryan Denniston

      Setting a sack of shit on fire is endlessly entertaining as a prank.

      • Blank Ron

        I’ll hold him down, you get the matches votes.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …I wish this shit stain would(METAPHORICALLY) get throat punched!!! How in the hell is a CHILD giving birth to her rapist baby in anyway Christian or even moral?! A 10 year olds body isn’t even physically developed to go through that!!! Mind you, this shit head also had no problems absolving Josh Duggar of finger fucking his sisters! This mother fucker has more in common with ISIS than civilized soceity

    • John Smith

      “throat punched” by votes.

      FIFY

  • JustPixelz

    God was obviously punishing that girl because of gay marriage.

    • Blank Ron

      Sentiment echoed by some wingnut in 3… 2… 1…

  • bupkus23

    There is no G_d – if there was, she would have smacked the shit out of Huckabee by now…

    For that matter, she would have smacked the shit out of at least 90% of all these “self-described” Christians ( just like “self-described conservatives”, that self-description is just self-deceiving camoflage for their hateful selves ).

    • Blank Ron

      If there’s a god, a creator, it isn’t gonna be anything like the psychotic monster these Christianists like to (mis)quote. Some of the shit they like to spout sounds more like excerpts from the Necronomicon.

      • CognizantImpiety

        “If there’s a god, a creator”

        Then why is that god, that creator such a bastard? Why did he let the man rape a child to start with? Lazy? Uncaring? Or could it be there is no such thing and we as human beings need to stop thanking and blaming the Invisible Man in the Sky for good and evil.

        • Blank Ron

          This is a personal opinion, but it seems to me that any entity capable of creating an entire universe from scratch is unlikely to also be fussing over the minutiae of life on one of 10^24 planets, nor would it exhibit any human-like behaviours at all. So I guess I agree with your final point; why keep buttering up the ego of something that doesn’t have one?

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …and I suppose this fucking turd monkey wouldn’t have any problems with providing ongoing social support, such as SNAP, WIC, subsidized housing and Medicaid for a child that is forced to give birth to her rapist baby?!?!

    • Are you kidding, she obviously seduced the poor man and we cannot support that kind female sexual behavior. (Except when they agree to be a spokesperson for abstinence after giving birth.)

      • John Smith

        Twice; right Bristol?

  • Me not sure

    Is there such a thing as diabetic dementia? If so, then tis glob of treacle needs to get treatment right away.

    • Catstro

      It can be hard for emergency responders to tell the difference between a psychotic episode and the behavior of someone having a very low blood sugar episode. Huckabee’s just a garden variety asshole, though, no medical excuse needed. A giant garden variety, though, like those 700 lb pumpkins that win prizes at the fair.

      Autocorrect wants to spell Huckabee as “huckster”, p.s.

      • Me not sure

        Do pumpkins come loaded with shit? If not, then Huckabee must be some kind of GMO pumpkin.

        • Catstro

          If this were Trailer Park Boys, Mr. Lahey would have a really good shit analogy for this. Like, “he’s a shit pumpkin, if we hollow him out he’ll make a real good shit-o-lantern for Shit-o-ween”.

      • Blank Ron

        Autocorrect is occasionally as snarky as any of us.

  • Ryan Denniston

    Well, thanks Wonkette for killing off my delightful Monday morning. I suppose the 10 year old had it coming, huh? God’s plan and all that. Heckabee needs to pull a Rick Perry and run out of money.

    • John Smith

      Never run out of money, as long as he has the sheep to shear. Theyre doing God’s work. Not my God, but theirs. Mine doesn’t need the money, He prefers it be given to help people.

      • Ryan Denniston

        The right wing grift machine seems to have a lot of suckling people these days.

        http://www.balloon-juice.com/2015/08/15/unprecedented/

        • John Smith

          Never seen this site before. Must do some homework on it. Thanks.

          • Ryan Denniston

            Balloon Juice? It’s good; a mix of a number of things (politics, gardening, food, coverage of racial issues, etc.).

          • Blank Ron

            Sounds vaguely familiar. Do they ever have babby articles?

          • Ryan Denniston

            Dunno. Maybe.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            Not to mention puppies and kitties!

      • Kruser

        Mine too. And he sure doesn’t need help from the likes of Hucksteer!

        • CognizantImpiety

          And where was your gawd when the girl was raped? Just watching?

          • James Christopher Owen

            Being raped along with her. I believe that God suffers with everyone who as ever suffered, as if that suffering was His own.

      • Blank Ron

        I like the sound of your God. Has anyone ever written anything about Him?

        • CognizantImpiety

          Read the old testament if you want to find out what a judgemental, punishing, fear-based, rape promoting, child-killing, genocidal bastard “God” is like.

          • Blank Ron

            Oh, I know about THAT one. It’s this other, decent one I’m curious about.

      • CognizantImpiety

        Oh, fuck that. There is no “God”. Get over the religiosity that causes these problems in the first goddammit place.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      She’s a woman girl so of course she has it coming. It’s all Eve’s fault. It’s always Eve’s fault.

  • Huckabee also said something about compounding a tragedy by taking a life. What about the fact that this forced birth is taking away the 10 year old girl’s life. Giving birth at that age could kill her, and if it doesn’t it is likely to leave her with permanent pelvic damage and or nerve damage. It is very likely that she will never be able to have a child when she is old enough to do so safely. Even if you get the best physical result, most of her childhood is gone and she if forced into motherhood before she is emotionally mature enough to handle it. So basically her life is forfeit because of jackass uncle that raped her, and she has no say in the matter. Bullshit, utter bullshit.

    • Catstro

      The doctors did have the good sense to realize that she needed a c-section. So, now she only has to recover from the surgery she had to have to remove the rape baby out of her 11 year old uterus. I mean, in addition to recovering from the trauma of having a rape baby at all, of course.

      Too early for snark, too sad for snark.

    • grmpy

      It is very likely that she will never be able to have a child when she is old enough to do so safely
      See? that’s why she must have this one. jeese why do you hate women? Trying to make them kill their “at the starting line of puberty” baby.
      (catstro- never to early for snark. ;) )

  • dslindc

    Someone has been snorting too much cinnamon again! Shut the fuck up, Mike!

  • Helena Handbag

    I do not regret the abortion I had at age 19. I suffered no ill effects either physically or emotionally. I became a mother by choice twice in my thirties. I chose life: mine and my future daughter’s because I was much better equipped for motherhood later in life. Nobody need approve of my decision because I exercised my rights both legal and human. Those who dont like it can kiss my derrier.

    • jmk

      Exactly. I have never had one moment’s regret. Ever.

    • fka_donnie_d

      Clearly it gave you the unique superpower of bestowing upon yourself your own (excellent) nickname

  • Oblios_Cap

    The world would be a better place if people like Huckabee’s mother had had an abortion those many years ago.

  • BattyKitch

    So now this poor child has to live with being raped, AND pregnant at 10, giving birth at 11, scarred psycologically for ever, publicly exposed and humiliated for the rest of her life because she couldn’t have an abortion? Why didn’t HER life merit being saved, Fuckabee?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      We all have to make sacrifices in the new theocrat paradise.

      • Blank Ron

        And by ‘we’ you clearly mean us, and not the sociopaths who will actually be running it.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          That goes without saying…prole.

          • Blank Ron

            Emmanuel Goldstein FTW!

          • Mehmeisterjr

            To use the Je! Bush formula, we will have skin in the game. Or we will get skinned in the game. Close enough.

    • marxalot

      Has there been any mention of taking her from the care of the step father who raped her in the first place?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      She’s just an incubator.

  • Serolf Divad

    At the father of an 11 year old girl, allow me to say this to ‘Ol Mike: if I have anything to say about it, you will never come within 1000 miles of the Presidency, you sick old bastard.

    • As a teacher of many bright young girls, I second that notion of Huckabee being a sick bastard who cares nothing for women, young or old.

      • eddi

        Or cares too much in a way that would make you pro-gun.

  • schmannity

    I liked Clinton as Prez, but objectively, he was/is a bit of a sleezoid. Clinton fatigue. Huckabee. Now Tom Cotton. Arkansas, surrender to a federal receiver or prepare to be invaded.

    • Wendel

      Arkansas has perfected the art of foisting off sleezebags on us. I also seem to remember the “smiling congressman,” who made out with his assistant in front of a security camera, so the State is not exactly “Brains Are Us.”

      • schmannity

        Wilbur Mills. Tidal Basin Bombshell.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Annabelle (“Fanne Foxe”) Battistella libelz!!!!!1111!!!!1!111!!!!

      • FlownOver

        See also Harris, Justin a/k/a/ rehoming sleazeturd.

  • beatbort

    Mike The Huck A Bee
    (with apologies to Monty Python)

    Half a bee, philosophically,
    Must ipso facto half not be.
    But huck a bee has got to be
    Vis a vis its entity.
    D’you see?

    But can a bee be said to be
    Or not to be an entire bee,
    When Half the bee is not a bee,
    Due to genetic stupidity?

    La di di, one two three,
    Mike the Huck a Bee.
    A B C D E F G,
    Mike the Huck a Bee.

  • JohnnyZhivago2

    Perhaps Huck could volunteer to have fetuses implanted in him so he could lug them around.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Huckabee Psychopath Stew: Equal parts dog torture, pedophilia, add this latest horror for that special zest, and a dash of cinnamon to taste. Voila!

    • lucidamente

      Don’t forget the squirrel meat.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Of course (smacks head)! What’s a good psycho stew without the squirrel meat?

      • nightmoth

        Squirrel meat’s pretty good eatin’.
        I’d feed him road fried possum.

    • Wendel

      His sons torture dogs in their free time. They must have acquired this hobby at home.

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        The dead squirrel doesn’t fall far from the tree.

  • lucidamente

    For sure Huck’s got the Paraguayan rapist vote locked down.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    A 10 year old cannot even legally work, and Mike wants raped 10 year olds to have babies?

    Lord, help this man see the error of his ways. Then smite him, please.

    • If all those lazy, shiftless 10 year old girls were allowed to work in the McDonalds and the Taco Bells and the Walmarts LIKE GOD INTENDED they could tithe most of their poverty wages to Huckabee so could save them from being godless temptresses to persecuted, misunderstood creepy old white men.

      Easy peasy!

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Child Labor – It’s the wave of the future!

        • James Christopher Owen

          Days of Future Past.

    • grmpy

      Oh, you’re wrong. That 10 year old did work.

  • Whollyholeyholy

    Catering to the pro obstetric fistula crowd. This day is going downhill fast.

  • FauxAntocles

    I don’t think any of this is about “pro-life”, it’s about keeping the poor poor and keeping women “in their place”.

    • Sam Hain

      Pro-birthers, the before and after is not supported by them.

    • Blank Ron

      Same as it ever was.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      DING DING DING DING DING

  • So I was reading on Gawker that Morgan Freeman’s step-granddaughter was killed by her boyfriend who thought he was performing an exorcism on her by stabbing her repeatedly with a hunting knife. The boyfriend apparently had a psychotic episode. Does this qualify as a tragedy? My answer would be yes.
    Mike Huckabee says why compound a tragedy with another death. Do you think he would suggest the death penalty for the boyfriend, I am betting he would say yes. Which to me is the very definition of compounding a tragedy with another death.
    I didn’t make this comment to open comments about the death penalty, but to point out how damn hypocritical this viewpoint of forcing women to give birth because abortion is killing, yet killing people who do tragic things without always understanding why they do them.

    • Sam Hain

      Yes the Reichwing hates killing, except for blacks on death-row and soldiers dying for Big Bidness.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      NRAssholes gleefully pointing to this non-gun murder in 3, 2, 1…

  • zerosumgame0005

    no, no , no Fuckabee, as a religioid perverted scamevangelical dipwad you raise money from her situation!talk about your “mission” to the ferrin country to prevent ‘bortions (not rape, that just mans dominion after all) and how you need all the money for it!

  • I’m genuinely surprised that Huck just stopped there and didn’t tell us all that the real problem was that her old man wasn’t paid his 50 shekels of silver and she wasn’t given to her rapist in marriage per “God’s Law.” (Deuteronomy 22:28-29)

    • Sam Hain

      C’mon, these Reichwing religious zealots don’t actually read the bible…they just make chit up.

    • bobbert

      Her old man (stepfather) was the rapist, so very efficient.

  • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

    “…birth mother who often will go through extraordinary guilt years later when she begins to think through what happened…”

    Why doesn’t this same person, then, feel any guilt for the hundreds of thousands of people her taxes paid to kill in around the globe?

  • Msgr_Moment

    Too early for us to need kittehs, but….

    • eddi

      Never too early for kittens.

  • Sam Hain

    In all fairness, if Fuckabee was raped by his stepfather and became pregnant, I’d vote that he have to go full term as well…and then publicly shamed with an old fashioned tar and feathering.

    • Land Shark

      and a Scarlet Letter sweatshirt as well!

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Not that he has a chance of winning, but the fact that this perverted old fuck has enough backers to even be in the running for Leader Of The Free World does not bode well for the future of our republic.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      We’ve had a sizable dumbfuck demographic for a very long time. The GOP started pandering to them for their 10-20% of the vote, which was shameless enough, but today the GOP’s ideas are so terrible that they desperately NEED the dumbfuck vote. Which they get, by spouting even more terrible ideas.
      I’d like to to think it’s a downward spiral.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I think it is now commonly referred to as “the Base”.

        • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

          Dee Base.

          • Blank Ron

            I sincerely hope that it cannot be debased any further, but then, I’m usually a hopeless optimist.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          And they certainly are.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Al Qaeda, in other words.

      • laineypc

        My personal and therefore highly valid hypothesis is that it all started with Big Tobacco. Scientists: Tobacco causes cancer and heart disease and a buncha other bad stuff. BT: (ala Monty Python dead parrot) No it doesn’t! Scientists: Yes, see here these studies…. BT: Oh but we have some scientists, too and they say no it doesn’t, there is doubt, you see, and there can be no interference with profit if there is any doubt…Scientists: No, not really. Pretty sure our studies are good. Say, who paid your scientists…
        And from there it just degenerated to convincing people that science is too hard to understand and people who rely on science to inform policy are amoral and unAmerican to interfere with business and free markets and profit…and then they got the fundagelicals in on it because science is against the Bible so yeah, Repubs are against science so they must be for the Bible so we will vote for them. The GOP created their own dumbfucks at the behest of the Big Corporations.

  • Paul Dietzel

    Speaking of “compounding the tragedy with another death”
    “While Governor of the state of Arkansas, he is said to have carried out the death penalty sixteen more times than any other state governor.” – – – “He feels he always did the right thing whenever he gave the last word on all the executions he signed for saying that this right was justified against moral absolutes in the midst of an imperfect world.”
    Whattaguy

    • Vienna Woods

      Gee… I wonder if he would have felt the same way if Wayne Dumond had committed his murders in Arkansas instead of Missouri?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        The murders in Missouri were committed after Wayne Dumond was “saved”, therefore, no.

        • Vegan and Tiara

          I just Googled Wayne Dumond, I’m glad to see he got right with Jesus before he raped and murdered those two women. I’m still not sure how you can rape someone when your testicles have been cut off, but I probably don’t want to know the details.

          • grmpy

            Not sure if you know this but you don’t actually fuck with the testicles. The longer proboscis looking thing right above the testicles is used for the fucking.
            I feel like I helped someone today :)

          • JustPixelz

            WHAT!? I have been seriously misinformed by all my previous girlfriends.

          • Vegan and Tiara

            Possibly, but aren’t the testicles required in order to get the long dangly thing hard? I’m a lady, so I don’t know much about the man parts.

          • grmpy

            Nope . The testicles only make seeds. The corpus spongiosum engorging with blood makes it hard. Your welcome

          • Vegan and Tiara

            This may explain why I don’t get laid more often.

  • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

    It’s good to hear both sides of the debate. From normal people and also from these bumfuck-ignorant hicks.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Teach the controversy!

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        Or as they say in Arkansas, “Uhhhh, wut?”

  • Squirrels05

    if Huckabee had his way, every miscarriage in America would be treated as a homicide.

    • Think of all the new CSI TV show spin-offs we could have!

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        CSI-Gyno!

      • jmk

        Not to mention Law & Order: Special Fetal Unit.

    • Midwest farm fields will soon be converted to endless fetus and embryo cemeteries.

  • Rick Hill

    Motto of religions: Keep ’em poor, keep ’em pregnant, keep ’em in their place.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      We need to start a country for atheists. That would eliminate one whole category of bullshit to fight about.

      • marxalot

        But it would leave us drowning in another one, equally misogynistic and egotistical. Hail Satan.

        • CognizantImpiety

          Huh?

          • marxalot

            The ‘official’ atheist community has a lot of problems. CFf: sexual harassment at atheist conventions, the existence of Richard Dawkins (who has replaced God with himself, a not unrelated issue), strong veins of intolerance and derision for atheists who fail to meet the line of ‘doctrine.’ It’s a bad scene. I’m pretty sure this is symptomatic of large groups of humans professing (even the absence of) belief, regardless of the content of those beliefs.

      • sw19womble

        Didn’t you already try that? Next time, triple-check the wording!

  • drbloor

    I can never decide if Mike’s bidding for an administrative gig in ISIS or the Taliban.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      Yes.

    • eddi

      ISIS are the up and comers. Taliban is old news.

      • SisterArtemis

        Gotta keep up with the times

  • Air_Cav

    I bet in the latter part of the interview he said something like “We are happy to take the child in and provide care for them because obviously a 10 year old is unable to do that” He did say something like that didn’t he? He had to have he is a Christian and a preacher

    • FlownOver

      If he’d said it he would have been thinking “If it turns out to be too much trouble we can always send her off to the Town Molester to live.”

    • eddi

      Both of those things are excellent reasons not to allow him within 100 yards of a woman or child.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Let’s make it a kilometer, just to be on the side of caution and probity.

    • Gleem-McShinez

      Oh, that must be why he said “there are two victims.”
      He was already planning.

  • Ghost Buggy

    He called her a “birth mother” because he really wanted to say “broodmare,” which is how his type usually sees women.

    • Blank Ron

      Which is funny because actual keepers of brood mares treat their charges WAY better than this.

      • CognizantImpiety

        I’m betting they don’t breed mares at age 1-2.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      They really are nothing more than incubators to scum like Hucksterbee.

    • jmk

      I’ve seen other forced-birthers use that idiotic locution – most recently, one of the dumbasses wailing about the Planned Parenthood videos who obnoxiously insisted on referring to PP’s patients as “mothers.”

  • I’ve seen some very confused people on Twitter who agree with what Huckabee said while insisting his statements are being misrepresented. Huh?

    • eddi

      Cognitive dissonance. Except they have no cognition to sound.

  • Angry_Cop

    I thought pander bears were supposed to be cuter, and didn’t talk. My mistake.

    • eddi

      The Huckster is a pander bore.

  • chicken thief

    And again, there are no easy answers here,” Huckabee said.

    Unless, of course, you are Mike Huckabee, then the answer is simple – everyone must do what he thinks his buff Nordic, and btw, very white, Jesus told him. Because.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      This is why I want him to be subjected to the votes of a thousand tire irons.

      • CognizantImpiety

        That seems a little light.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    “There are no easy answers here . . . but let me give you one anyway.”
    -Mike Hucksterbee

    • Hardly Ideal

      It’s true that “fuck ’em” is an easy answer. Not a good one, but an easy one.

  • cheetojeebus

    Huckless is not the only rightwing candidate with this horrific opinion.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Per Mother Jones:

      http://www.motherjones.com/mojo/2015/08/heres-what-presidential-candidates-had-say-about-abortion-first-gop-debate

      In the Fox debate Walker and Rubio were explicitly for no exceptions. Huckabee then upped the ante by suggesting that the 5th and 14th Amendments already criminalize all abortions. Cruz suggested strongly he agreed as well, though in slip-slidey wording. Jeb suggested he was for some exceptions but then utilized the famous Bush family skill at saying nothing in many words to suggest he really wouldn’t allow any exceptions.

      The only one who came out clearly as pro-choice was Trump. And these asshats wonder why he’s leading in the Republican polls. An egotistical blowhard he may be but at least he’s not in the pocket of teabagger religionists.

  • Lar5

    Huckbee’s distorted and inhumane version of his brand of Christianity in action. And he would like everyone to live under the heel of his boots. Unfortunately many of this years crop of republican candidates agree with his horrendous ideas..Their war on women and now female children continues.

  • eddi

    And the Rebs once more wonder why the little darling will not vote for them.

  • proudgrampa

    He is such a fuckstick. Obviously incapable of any empathy for a 10 year old child. His record as a governor overseeing executions in his state shows his true colors as a right to lifer. Asshole.

    • marxalot

      When you’re in favor of state murder and forced birth, you’re not “pro-life,” you’re a war criminal in search of a war.

      • jmk

        THIS.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Obviously incapable of any empathy.

      ftfy

  • AnOuthouse

    How does a ten year old give birth? What a fucking nimrod. Please GOP, put that man down. with your votes.

  • JoeChristmas

    What kind of god would create Mike Huckabee?

    • Blank Ron

      One in need of a very thorough ass-kicking.

    • grumblestiltskin

      A Terminator that obeyed Mike’s commands.

    • jviscont1

      a Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise owner with grits on the secret menu.

    • cynmac

      Who said it was god?

  • Antimassacree

    Now we see the violence inherent in the system…of so-called thought that rattles around in the vast empty spaces in Huckabee’s mind, heart, and soul.

  • nightmoth

    The NYT has been doing a series about ISIS and their phony theological justifications for raping Yazidi girls. It led me to read up on that horrible situation this weekend. There is a pregnant 9 year old Yazidi girl who showed up as a refugee after escaping ISIS. Aid workers have sent her to Germany for an abortion after doctors said giving birth would kill her. I was surprised by the anti-abortion comments made in response to that story. They all echoed Huckabee. Anti-abortion ideologues no longer make exceptions for rape or incest. They used to at least be on board with that, but no longer. Scary!

    • eddi

      They were never on board with exceptions. Just drowned out. Now they are coming through loud and clear. Let God’s will be done. (unless it’s their daughter, then scrape the bitch before the neighbors find out)

    • nmmagyar

      They were never on board, SCOTUS told them not to bother trying to pass legislation without them.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Let’s be blunt…after abortion, they’re going after contraception. This has NEVER been about babies…it’s always been about the sexytime, and women having agency over their own bodies.

    • Angry_Cop

      They never did make those exceptions. Those were politicians, not the True Believers. They just told you that so you’d STFU and stay quiet, complacent and unaware while they got on with their agenda – which is the total outlawing of abortion and birth control.

      • nightmoth

        Yet some of their bitterest complaints were about women who did not use birth control. They seemed to believe all forms of contraception are 100% effective all the time, and that it is 100% the woman’s responsibility, but there was a time when anti-abortion people did tout birth control. What’s been really surprising to me is the way anti-Catholic evangelicals have adopted the Catholic teaching about birth control being a sin.

  • Betty Smith

    I am against abortion but I don’t feel I have or should have a voice in someone else’s abortion. So I would ask Mike Huckabee to please follow the life of that little baby and that 10 year old girl and keep us posted on the fantastic life they are both living, as well as whomever will be raising this baby. He says there are two victims the baby and the mother….and so he believes we should stick it to them.

  • willi0000000

    has this ‘huckabee’ thing ever been DNA tested . . . does it even have DNA? . . . it’s certainly not human.

  • Betty Smith

    In his interview with CNN he also said that Trump is getting 10 times the air time as any other candidate, his claim therefore was that if he got 10 times more air time he would be leading the race……..first he should have something interesting to say and stay out of abortion rights in Paraguay, secondly even with 10 times the air time..no you wouldn’t be in first place. No one wanted you the last time you ran and no one wants you this time.

  • Bitter Scribe

    This sort of thing is exactly I sprain my eyeballs rolling my eyes whenever “pro-life” people do that trick of pretending to be an underage girl asking for an abortion and then roaring about how the health care provider didn’t “report” the “statutory rape.” Because you would have done so much more for this imaginary victim by forcing her to bear a child, right?

    You don’t need “stings” and phony identities to get abortion opponents to say stupid, horrible things. You just need to point a microphone in their direction and ask questions.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      It’s what these vile creatures DO.

  • Mavenmaven

    Clearly, he’s standing up for his constituency, the inbred.

    • Bigby

      Iz u iz or iz u ain’t ma constishincy? I knew that sounded familiar…

  • Gorillionaire

    I wonder how many hillbilly middle school girls his disgusting sons have sent to Planned Parenthood.

    • Platos_Redhaired_Stepchild

      I’d worry more about the ones that didn’t go to PP.

  • Blank Ron

    Hey, Mikey? ‘Suffer the little children’ wasn’t a COMMANDMENT, you waste of oxygen. Do the world a favour and leave it, ‘kay?

  • YayConspiracy

    Poor girl, raped at least twice now.

    • grmpy

      Did you read his quote? He wants to kill her too.

  • Mike Huckabee’s skull is the property of the state.

    Until Mike’s skull births some common sense about the limits of state power over women’s bodies, the American state owns that skull, motherfuckers. Think of all the potential ideas that live up there behind that zombie asshole smile. Just cuz he’s never gestated a sense of decency, just cuz his mouth has never delivered empathy for human beings doesn’t mean his skull is useless to us.

    I see Mike’s hitting the buffet line again. The state has a compelling interest in preventing his fat ass from becoming fatter – the prevention of the stroke he’s been flirting with. A stroke could seriously reduce the potential for thought.

    He needs to be locked up and supervised until one of the following:
    a) he births some sensibility about the limitations of chalky fundy ideas

    b) that blood clot settles down in his cerebral cortex for the long haul.

  • Hammiepants

    He needs to die in a fire. For reals, he is AWFUL.

    • sw19womble

      After he finds himself surprised and locked out of the pearly gates, then he probably will, for eternity.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      and not with votes.

    • eric

      With his BMI any fire he’s in would be Tianjin 2.0.

    • LarkintheAM

      https://youtu.be/L_DaDQTmkSU
      This is how I am feeling about Huckabee just now.

  • sw19womble

    It’s good that these social conservative pro-life types have amazingly well-funded government systems to support these mothers and precious ‘miracles’ all the way from conception to… wait, what?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Once you’re out of the cooter, kid, you’re on your own.

      • grmpy

        pro life but anti living

        • Oginikwe

          Pro-birth and anti-life.

    • Hardly Ideal

      And that is why they don’t deserve the title “pro-life,” but rather “pro-birth.”

      I’m serious about this. Start a hashtag campaign or whatever the fuck.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Remind me again which child’s life it’s okay to ruin– the 10 year old mother, or the zygote.

    • Angry_Cop

      it’s a twofer

    • cynmac

      I hate myself for posting this one again.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Somehow “extra primo good, sir” just does not have the same insouciance in this context.

  • MikeyArmstrong

    It’s good to see him and Rubio share the same views on abortion. If Rubio wins the primary or is picked as VP, we have someone as awful as Huckabee to compare him with.

  • Stein Olsen

    My contempt for Emperor Palpatine here is beoynd words now. So I made a tribute to this turd ridden insult to human decency.

    http://orig15.deviantart.net/37b0/f/2015/229/a/8/snf1134hit___1652387a_by_rastifan-d961w9q.jpg

  • Angry_Cop

    Huckabee REALLY likes rapists. Paroles them constantly, talks about it all the time…you gotta wonder.

    • grmpy

      Yeah but only the ones that are not engaged in “Legitimate Rape™”

    • Charles Cates

      Like how Bryan Fischer is just consumed with the idea of anal sex?

      • Vegan and Tiara

        ALL of them are consumed with the idea of anal sex. They think about gay sex more than gay people do.

  • grmpy

    A 10-year-old girl being raped is horrible. But does it solve a problem by taking the life of an innocent child?
    Wait?! What? They’re gonna kill the 10 Year old too? Why?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The 10 year old is not innocent. She very obviously, with her feminine wiles, seduced her step father.

      • I know you meant that sarcastically, but the fact that some people really do believe that still made me throw up in my mouth a little.

    • Charles Cates

      You know in ten years the extreme far right will have to move even more extremely far right to retain market share so they may put that in the Holy Constitution, revised edition.

  • Esther Clark

    Allowing an 11 year old to carry a fetus to term does horrible damage to her body.

    • Hardly Ideal

      Hell, I’m worried that my 30-something wife might die when she has ours, and she lives in what I’m told is the greatest country in the history of the world, amen.

  • Hardly Ideal

    You see that, boys and girls? Take note of the time, because that’s the exact moment when Huckabee lost.

    • FLDispatches

      Happily, Huck already has plentiful exact moments when he lost, and has always lacked moments when he’s had a glimmer of a hope of victory.

  • Gleem-McShinez

    Letting an 11 year old child rear another child? Great idea!
    I’m sure Chuckle-Huck thinks that a double-hit on our superb healthcare system we have here in US Amercia, where you essentially have to work in order to pay for healthcare, would be an acceptable cost of such policies. Right?

    I’m so sure of it, I will wager three thousand of the real bestest babby parts I got from my last borted-babby-chunks auction!

  • FLDispatches

    If given the choice between protecting the living, breathing child rape victim, or the fetus she is carrying at great risk to her psyche and her body, there IS NO DECISION to ponder. Period.

    No humane person or society should ever be even considering forcing a CHILD to bear her FATHER’S CHILD. Truly, why is this so hard for people to understand???

    Ugh. I do not heart Huckabee.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      I hate his stupid face soooo much.

  • jmk

    “A 10-year-old girl being raped is horrible. But does it solve a problem by taking the life of an innocent child? And that’s really the issue,” Huckabee said.

    Translation: A 10 year old girl was raped oh well, mistakes were made, let’s move on. My religious beliefs having control over her uterus and future is the REAL issue here.

    • Juan de Fuca

      Got up for work this morning, turned on the news (as I do) and this tripe was the first thing that I had to listen to at 0500 – Huck’s quote from yesterday. 9 hours later and I’m still wondering just how depraved one has to be to really believe what these people say they believe. They are in a really dark place and it goes to show just how little they care about life after it actually begins.

  • Charles Cates

    Even if he WERE running for Jesus he’d still lose. Does anyone other than frightened older (mainly) white people really want this theocracy, even just the fantasy of it?

  • Vegan and Tiara

    Nothing says “I’m ready for parenthood” like being 11 years old and being raped by your stepfather. Maybe Fuckabee should be more concerned with getting the poor kid some therapy. I take that back, his “therapy” would probably consist of teaching her to love Jeebus, and forgive her poor stepdaddy.

  • BMW

    This.

  • James Christopher Owen

    A fascinating article from Politico (May 2014, I believe) identifies the roots of the politically-active religious right in defending segregation. Anti-abortion came later. Here was the current of thought back in the day, apparently.

    “Today, evangelicals make up the backbone of the pro-life movement, but it hasn’t always been so. Both before and for several years after Roe, evangelicals were overwhelmingly indifferent to the subject, which they considered a “Catholic issue.” In 1968, for instance, a symposium sponsored by the Christian Medical Society and Christianity Today, the flagship magazine of evangelicalism, refused to characterize abortion as sinful, citing “individual health, family welfare, and social responsibility” as justifications for ending a pregnancy. In 1971, delegates to the Southern Baptist Convention in St. Louis, Missouri, passed a resolution encouraging “Southern Baptists to work for legislation that will allow the possibility of abortion under such conditions as rape, incest, clear evidence of severe fetal deformity, and carefully ascertained evidence of the likelihood of damage to the emotional, mental, and physical health of the mother.” The convention, hardly a redoubt of liberal values, reaffirmed that position in 1974, one year after Roe, and again in 1976.”

    • DsMTwoShoes

      But it is so terribly inconvenient do dredge up the past.
      If you wish to go back further in the history of Prodistant America (and let’s not leave out the Catholic Monarches of Europe).
      Menstrual Regulation and the afternoon Doctor appointments to cure melancholia and hypertension!
      Stimulation of the clitoris was perfectly acceptable if preformed by a trained medical Professional in a Doctors Office!

  • D_C_Wilson

    How about the problem that 4th-graders should not be giving birth because their bodies are not fully developed and the risk of them dying is very high?

    Does it solve that fucking problem, you maggot-infested piece of Hutt anal leakage?

  • gingerland62

    Will people with penises stop trying to legislate my vagina? Please , it is 2015 and this conversation should have been over years ago. When I was 21 it was far easier and much more intrusive to get an abortion, now they are safer and less intrusive, but harder to get!? Now that is progress!

  • LarkintheAM

    I cannot come up with words vile enough to describe a person who thinks that forcing the 10 year old victim of an incestuous rape to bear the child of her rapist is the “moral” choice. What sort of twisted, depraved soul could look at a 4th grade child and say “gee, that’s too bad little girl, but you are going to have to have that baby your daddy put into you while he was abusing you”, when a kid that age can’t begin to understand what that means, let alone what would do to her body. No snark – I’m the mother of a 16 year old girl and the thought of such a thing happening to her at age 10 makes me want to vomit. Fuck that goddamn bastard straight to Hell.

  • dshwa

    Because nothing says “I’m pro-life” quite like forcing an 11 year old girl into a potentially deadly delivery.

  • Takoma DC

    Is Huckabee a citizen of Paraguay? If not he needs to shut the fuck up. It’s bad enough he has to pollute our nation with his shit-speak.

  • DsMTwoShoes

    Considering Mikes association with Josh Duggar and a couple of other pedifiles. I have to wonder just how altruistic is his position. With the child having the child only 11 years old?

  • Dan Brian

    Wait! Did Mike Huckabee just invoke, “I have a rape-baby friend, and he’s a perfectly nice guy”?

  • “A 10-year-old girl being raped is horrible. But does it solve a problem by taking the life of an innocent child? And that’s really the issue.”

    A child is raped, forced to carry a pregnancy that could have killed her, and is now forced to raise a child who will remind her every day of the horrors she has been through. HOW IS THIS NOT TAKING THE LIFE OF AN INNOCENT CHILD???

    (Yes, I know she is technically still alive. But the rest of that life is going to be hell for her because of asshats who valued a fetus over a living, breathing child, and that is wrong beyond measure.)

    • spacecat in space

      Never mind the actual physical, permanent damage done to a child who carries a fetus to term. But, you know, fetus > living human person with uterus.

  • gurukalehuru

    The scary part? This will not end his candidacy.

  • RC

    The huckster and Pat Robertson are solid proof there is no god.

  • Vecciojohn

    Well, pardon me for thinking straight, but before they started letting women stick their tit in the soup on this subject 11 year old girls did what they were told after a rape.

  • darkpr0fit

    This country actually allows idiots like this in government positions?

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