BREAKING: Obamacare Good For You, Whether You Like It Or Not

Yes, you do, whether you realize it or not

Well, shoe horns and suck a penis, what have we here? Why, it'sanotherstudy about how terrific Obamacare is. But haven't we already reported ALL the studies at you, a thousand frickin' times, about how Obamacare is giving more Americans greater access to better and cheaper healthcareandsaving everyone -- the government, hospitals, your grandma -- lots of money? Yes, we have, but it is A Day, so here, have some more:

The share of Americans without health insurance has dropped sharply since enrollment under the Affordable Care Act began in 2013, according to survey results published by Gallup on Monday. And the law's effects are even more dramatic in states that cooperated with the federal government instead of fighting Obamacare.

You know what? At this point, we can't even do the sarcastic surprise-feigning. Ofcoursestates that have accepted federal dollars (mostly donated by the hard-working folks who live in blue states, YOU'RE WELCOME, deadbeats) have been able to insure even more of their citizens. Duh. And those loser states that are all, like, "No, we don't want your stinkin' federal dollars for healthcare because we don't want Obama cooties, but please send us money for other things, like Cadillacs and Bon Bons," are, despite their best efforts to screw poors by not expanding Medicaid ( hey, Gov. Rick Scott! ),still  seeing a reduction in the number of uninsured citizens:

Collectively, the uninsured rate in states that have chosen to expand Medicaid and set up their own state exchanges or partnerships in the health insurance marketplace has declined significantly more since 2013 than the rate in states that did not take these steps.

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It's almost as if the mere existence of Obamacare has improved the healthcare situation for everyone, whether they like it or not, how strange. Imagine, for a moment, if those holdout states who've refused to allow their low-income citizens access to affordable healthcare stopped doing that. They would probably benefit even more. And wouldn't that be the worst thing, if, like,everyonehad health insurance?

But whatever, you freedom-lovin' dickbags do what you want, you're going to benefit from Obamacare anyway. Unless, of course, a Republican becomes president and repeals Obamacare, as they have all threatened to do, and then America can go back to being the laughingstock of the civilized world, where people just straight up DIE because they can't afford healthcare, which some people might consider barbaric because of how it is FUCKING BARBARIC AND NOT PRO-LIFE AT ALL, AHEM. Ah, but that would require one of these dumb dickweeds to actually win the election, and as we've said, we are pretty sure that ain't gonna happen. 

[ HuffPo / Gallup ]