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He's ready. YOU ready?
He’s ready. YOU ready?

Didn’t we all have such a good time laughing at the second-tier candidates’ debate? We sure did! Now let’s watch Donald Trump and the other guys have their turn. And hey, if you missed the Kids’ Table debate from earlier today, like during “All My Children” or whenever it was on, go read Wonkette’s live-blog of that, and catch up on all the news about how Lindsey Graham is going to die alone, Carly Fiorina sexts with Bibi Netanyahu and Rick Santorum used “optimism” to put seven babies in his wife’s butt.

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  • Pat_Pending

    Megan Kelley actually said ‘herding cats’ when discussing having 17 candidates on stage at the same time.

    • maman

      Chasing pussies

  • Spotts1701

    Fitting this is taking place in an arena where hopes were crushed and the misery is always just a moment away.

    • HogeyeGrex

      They had this at Wrigley Field?

  • JMP

    I was saying Boo-ump.

  • Zippy

    Found it

    DRINK!

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …the knives are out in 5 minutes?!?!?

    • Msgr_Moment

      Not for long, I bet.

  • Zippy

    Trump tells Fox to go fuck themselves

  • Callyson

    And Rand Paul wins the contest for attacking Trump first. Well done, Aqua Buddha!

  • Callyson

    Dr Carson, since you don’t know what the fuck, why should we vote for you?

  • I’m so excited, I’m so excited! I’m so scared! (Actually, I’m not watching this shitshow; I’ll get my jollies from other people making fun of it.)

  • weejee

    Are we all here?

    • misedumacated

      Yes

    • Reddishrabbit

      Nope

    • JMP

      Not me!

    • fauxcault

      For me this first read like a very existential question, then I realized I’m not included in the group to whom we refers.

      • nothingisamiss

        We are all in the group to whom he refers.

    • gedjcj

      “We’re all here because we’re not all there.”

    • mtn_philosoph

      Present! (Both of us!)

  • Spotts1701

    Haha, they are asking the candidates to PROMISE not to do independent campaigns!

    Yeah, like I would trust any of them to actually keep it…

  • Reddishrabbit

    He has a BRAIN!!

    • SoccerMomsforSatan

      Assumes facts not in evidence.

    • Enfant Terrible

      From “Abby Normal”?

  • Callyson

    Dr C: it’s important to have a brain. Thanks for clarifying that confusing concept, Doc!

    • Msgr_Moment

      He’s got several in a jar.

  • Kathleen Ryan Anderson

    FOX is the GOP…..

  • TheBidenator

    Ben Carson is very stiff and idiotic….

    • Thaumaturgist

      So is Jeb! Don’t know whether it’s the glasses or what but Jeb! Looks just as stiff and idiotic as Carson.

  • Pat_Pending

    This is like WWE with red ties, blue suits, and flag lapel pins. I hope they give away a big belt buckle…

  • SoccerMomsforSatan

    Getting the claws out for Trumpy right away.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    La Kelly just asked Carson to explain his complete ignorance of, well, anything and he’s dodging it. Sounds like he’s been preparing for the Miss America question.

  • Karen Marie

    MY HEAD EXPLODED ON THE FIRST QUESTION! Right out of the gate asking The Donald to “not fuck things up for the GOP.” And that pandering by Paul blew off what was left of my jaw.

  • TheBidenator

    If Rubio pounds some water, everyone drink!

  • Enfant Terrible

    Rachel Maddow is doing a piece on Jon Stewart right now. I’m in my happy place, suckers!

  • Msgr_Moment

    Rubio comes out for Hillz?

    • Callyson

      Like someone else I know:

  • Callyson

    I’m not new to the political process: don’t judge me because I look like I just got out of college.

    OK, Marco…

  • At this rate, it’s going to take them the first hour just to get through everyone’s first question.

  • weejee

    Rube-ee-ii-ee-oo-ee-ii-oo

    • Zippy

      DRINK!

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Now Rubio is dodging a question. Why is he running against Je!? He’s veered off to his stump speech. Bing, the bell.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …Rubios ears are fucking MASSIVE!!!

    • SoccerMomsforSatan

      Holy Nikes Batman – I can’t hear a word he’s saying cuz of those things!

    • Tallmutha

      They gotta match the five-head.

  • Pat_Pending

    Marco was born a poor black child…

    • Spotts1701

      But did he wear breadbags on his feet? No sir!

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      He hates these can(adian)s!

      • HogeyeGrex

        All he needs is this White House.
        And these American People.
        *grrrrrrrr*
        Fuck you, American people.

  • weejee

    He tauts blue state company

  • Msgr_Moment

    Kicking Bush! Woot!

  • Callyson

    The smile on Jeb!’s face when asked about his family is SO fake…hee hee hee…

    • Tallmutha

      Seriously? You wouldn’t smile talking about your funny brother George?

      • Seek

        Funny “ha ha”, Funny “weird” or Funny “Vaguely pedophile”?

  • BaddTicker

    The whole attitude of this debate seems more like an episode of America’s got talent than a serious debate. It would have been better with Howard Stern.

  • TheBidenator

    Rubio is lecturing Hillary Clinton on growing up humble, hahaha that’s the joke right there…

    • SoccerMomsforSatan

      But he has written 3 books, 3!!!

      • willi0000000

        . . . and sold 11 copies!

        [ total ]

  • weejee

    Shrub II has never earned a thing in his life.

  • JMP

    The bar is higher for Jeb, really! Being the son/brother of former Presidents is hard.

  • Callyson

    Florida called me by my name because I earned it/

    OK, Jeb!, that’s a talking point of sorts I guess…

    • bobbert

      What name was that? Fuckweasel?

    • It’s not even his name! It’s his initials. And the only name he earned as governor here was fuckwad. I think he might have been marginally less evil than our current Dark Lord, but he’s still a giant bag of dicks in a human suit who couldn’t have given less of a fuck about Floridians.

  • Karen Marie

    Listening to Bush is making my ears bleed.

  • Msgr_Moment

    I”m my own man, but I lurves me my brother’s war cabinet.

  • CripesAmighty

    With those awful student loans that could be magically paid off with that phat gubmint paycheck. You’re welcome.

  • Reddishrabbit

    The legislator woke up with that horse head, it was a bad day.

  • Zippy

    I’m my own man! No, really! Quit laughing!

  • Pat_Pending

    Jeb! looks a little Jebby…

    • Captain Kraut

      Since I think it’s quite inappropriate, even disrespectful, to call a man who may very well be the next US president* by an abbreviation, I have resolved to write out said abbreviation when referring to this gentleman, so that’ll henceforth be Mr. John Ellis Bush! Bush.

      *quit laughing already!

  • TheBidenator

    Jebberz is talking about a raised bar…actually it’s a low bar and he keeps hitting his head on it, that “Veto Corleone” joke made me want to skin myself alive

    • OneDemin EOr

      Maybe some of those, uh, Waste Management guys can do it for us!

  • Spurning Beer

    So Jeb! could be the second president to have a record! You know, a criminal record. Like his brother.

  • Msgr_Moment

    Can Trump fire the moderators? I hope so.

    • weejee

      Send them to China.

  • JohnR

    I’m the bigger dick, No I am, No I’m Spartacus.

  • OneDemin EOr

    Hell, Rubio’s STILL living paycheck to paycheck.
    And how did H!eb “earn” being called H!eb?

  • misedumacated

    I missed the happy hour party of 7 because work, so I just wonna thank you all for the batshit comments. And now this!

  • Callyson

    Question for TRUMP!

    You’re a sexist pig–why should we give a flying fuck about you?

  • Pat_Pending

    Trump just brought up Rosie. What, is this TMZ?

  • weejee

    Megyn, playing the womenz card on tehRump

  • Kathleen Ryan Anderson

    It’s like feeding the lions…..

  • JohnR

    Trump is thinking future wife, she needs to shut up

  • JMP

    Man, this crowd is ugly, cheering Donald’s misogyny.

    • Lady Bug

      Damn! I had the crowd cheering for dead Gay service members, not for misogyny!. Well, still have 45 minutes to go (or however long this debate is).

  • Spurning Beer

    Jeb! was right — he’s an asshole!

  • Mayor_Quimby

    Blowjob question!

  • Callyson

    Ah, the old PC line when called out for bigotry. Yeah, no…

    • JMP

      Yep, any time someone whines about “political correctness” – or “social justice warriors” – like that was actually a thing that exists, you know they are a bigot who has nothing to say worth listening to.

    • James Christopher Owen

      So true. It’s not “political correctness” it’s COMMON DECENCY as in “at long last, have you none?”

  • CripesAmighty

    Cuz Rosie ODonnell! (Crowd goes apeshit)!

  • Msgr_Moment

    You know who else was a stroomtrooping, politically incorrect asshole?

    • Enfant Terrible

      Eric son of Eric?

    • HogeyeGrex

      AOT,K

  • Spurning Beer

    “I don’t have time to not call broads ugly.”

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …Donald jumped another 5 points in the republican polls

    • weejee

      At the very least.

  • Pat_Pending

    He doesn’t have time to be PC, he spends all his time on the Twitterz starting hash tag wars.

  • Zippy

    You’re all politically correct

    I’M YOOGE!

  • BaddTicker

    Women get on your knees because we don’t have no time for political correctness anymore.

    • weejee

      That line will run well in November 2016.

  • JohnR

    Bitch Fight!

  • Callyson

    “I’ve been nice to you, Megyn, but I could not be so nice after the way you’ve treated me”

    Donald is one WATB, isn’t he?

  • “We had two bags of Bush, 75 pellets of Christie, five sheets of high-powered blotter Paul, a salt shaker half full of Kasich, and a whole galaxy of Koch-colored Carsons, Walkers, tweeters, bloggers … and also a quart of Cruz, a quart of Rubio, a case of Huckabee, a pint of raw Trump and two dozen LOLs.

    Not that we needed all that for the debate, but once you get locked into a serious derp collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can.

    The only thing that really worried me was The Donald. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of a Trump binge. And I knew we’d get into that rotten stuff pretty soon. Probably before the first commercial break.”

    – FOX News GOP Debate moderator Megyn Kelly

    • bluicebank

      But then came the bats.

    • HogeyeGrex
      • *snap! snap!* backatcha!

        Ya know, on re-read, that shameless affront to Hunter S. Thompson’s memory works even better than I realized at the time.

        Too bad that it came near the beginning of a record-setting comment thread, because to say such a thing now just makes me sound like “Cock #4” in a hundred-man gang bang wistfully reminiscing about how well he made sweet love to that special lady that one time.

        (But still!)

  • Spurning Beer

    Donald is channeling the Grand Wizard of Wrestling.

  • Karen Marie

    Yeah, Trump is PISSED at being set up twice in a row. Oooooh – food fight!

  • Reddishrabbit

    Agh! I nearly punched the screen when Cruz came on. Don’t sneak up on me.

    • Pat_Pending

      He’s got such a nice stripey tie, though.

  • JMP

    Cruz: hey, I can be a giant asshole too!

  • Callyson

    *Cheers* for Ted calling Yertle a liar? This GOP infighting is going to get worse before it gets better.

    • Zippy

      Yup, they love that raw hate

    • Spotts1701

      Well, that’s it. He’s banished from the cool kid’s table in the Senate cafeteria.

  • TheBidenator

    Oh god Ted Cruz, shut the fuck up and let’s get to Trump insulting the moderators….

  • Pat_Pending

    Ted is ‘not my guy’

  • Which came first: The punch or the face?

    • Msgr_Moment

      More importantly: which comes next?

      • Judging by tonight’s showing, I’m thinking that a punch comes next.

        FOREVER.

  • JohnR

    Looking for the truth, sorry wrong number, guy who took 15 million from frackers

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …Ted Cruz =

  • Msgr_Moment

    Don’t let Trump crash and burn tonight, PLEEEEASE!!

  • Karen Marie

    Cruz stinks of flop sweat.

    • TheBidenator

      Cruz is flop sweat

  • JohnR

    Gov. Christie: Who would you punch in the face tonight?

  • CripesAmighty

    And here comes the windup(?)…

  • Callyson

    NINE credit rating downgrades? Fuck, Christie is worse than I thought he was…

    • Reddishrabbit

      But it was soooo much worst, that is why it was upgraded, wait, downgraded, wait, I’m confuzed…

    • JohnR

      SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN! Just kidding

  • SoccerMomsforSatan

    My local station must be delaying the feed because I am behind you all – wonder if they think someones going to be dropping some f-bombs, I can only hope.

  • Christie’s hairpiece is on upside-down.

  • Pat_Pending

    Christie’s hair is reminiscent of Bob’s Big Boy.

  • Callyson

    “If you think it’s bad now, you should have seen it when I got there”

    Christie, if you’ve improved things so much those would have been nine credit UPgrades FFS…

  • TheBidenator

    Really itching to make a Christie is fat joke, really itching to make a Christy is fat joke…..

    • Spurning Beer

      Just wait. Donald will do it.

  • Enfant Terrible

    Megan Kelly can be a real RWNJ at times, but I like it when she calls men out for giving women shit.

    • Callyson

      I’m amazed she hasn’t been fired yet. I wonder what she has on video against Ailes and/or Murdoch…

    • Catstro

      She will always have a place in my heart for “is that math you do as a Republican to make yourself feel better?”

  • Callyson

    Oh fuck, Walker is being asked about abortion. Glad my wine bottle is nearby!

  • weejee

    Christie is racing Brownback in taking their states bond ratings into the deepest of storm cellars.

  • JMP

    Yeah, you cut taxes and regulation – which is why the economy in Jersey sucks. Hey why not waste another half-billion tax dollars on a casino that goes bankrupt in less than a year?

    • HogeyeGrex

      Was that a Trump casino?

  • Karen Marie

    I can’t listen to anymore of this. It is damaging my health.

  • Zippy

    unborn child

    DRINK!

  • Governor Walker…no, over here…Governor, who are you looking…oh, fuck it…”

    • bobbert

      Too late.

  • cousin itt

    Time to chug some absinthe. Too soon?

  • TheBidenator

    This is the first time I’ve heard Scott Walker speak and it’s even worse then I thought…

  • CripesAmighty

    Melvin Von Nebbish (aka Scott W.)

  • Mehmeisterjr

    They’re cheering death for women.

  • weejee

    The quintessential Kochsucker.

  • Pat_Pending

    You’re in good hands with Walker. Or Allstate. Whatever. So proud of his pro-fetal tissue stance.

  • Mayor_Quimby

    Protect the child, fuck that lady he’s riding around in – Walker

  • JMP

    How is supporting Planned Parenhood, as the vast majority of Americans do, a “radical” position? Huh?

    • Enfant Terrible

      That’s what you get when someone moves the Overton window to the right of an adjacent galaxy.

  • Zippy

    I hated the bitches before it was cool to hate the bitches

  • Enfant Terrible

    Who does Chris Christie want to punch in the face tonight?

    I know, I know… AOT,K.

  • Msgr_Moment

    When do they come to the trial-by-combat portion?

  • JohnR

    Hilary Clinton- drink PP- drink Abortion- drink

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …Scott Walker is the only candidate on the stage that can look at 2 cameras at the same time

    • ThePuckStopsHere

      And like our beloved Shely, neither is pointed at him. Great line, btw.

  • TheBidenator

    Someone made an unsolicited attack on Planned Parenthood, everyone drink!

  • weejee

    Cucksterbee. The true conservative’s favorite.

    • Kathleen Ryan Anderson

      up yours Huckster

  • Msgr_Moment

    What about gay fetuses?

  • ONE FETUS – ONE VOTE!

    • Zippy

      revoked at birth

  • Callyson

    Oh Christ, why even bother to ask Huckabee how he can push his extreme agenda with independent and Dem voters? That asshole won’t survive New Hampshire FFS…

  • Pat_Pending

    Keep talking Hucky. I like that they’re all trying to outdo each other.

  • Spurning Beer

    USE HABEAS CORPUS FOR THE UNBORN!!!!!

    • Mayor_Quimby

      That is gonna be messy, goo everywhere.

  • JMP

    Huckabee promises to violate the law and just declare abortion illegal on his own! He promises to be an actual tyrannical dictator, and gets cheers for it.

    • Zippy

      but he’ll still repeal all of Bamz’ executive orders because LAWLESS

  • JohnR

    OOOhh siting specific amendments he smart very smart, women have no rights.

  • Spotts1701

    Great time for a conservative push poll…

  • Msgr_Moment

    It’s a good night for misguided righteous indignation.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …wow, Huckabee just went full SHARIA!!!

    • weejee

      That he did.

  • Karen Marie

    Yep, nope, you kids are going to have to watch for me. I can’t handle this much undistilled crazy.

  • Mayor_Quimby

    Forced birth!

  • Callyson

    Ooooh, Aqua Buddha is being asked about his criticism of hawkish Reeps. More infighting–yes!

    • CripesAmighty

      And the crowd goes, zzzzzzzzz.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    OK, I give up. Can’t stream, can’t get Wonkette liveblogging to load, ironically the only thing I can do is comment, except I have no idea what I’m talking about. (This never stopped me before.) Guess I’ll read it from the other end when it’s all over. #notgonnacry

  • TheBidenator

    Huckleberry once likened the uninsured to a broken down car to try and persuade against Obamacare and the uninsured receiving medical care…think about that

  • JohnR

    Rand whiny little sniveling, butt hurt, tool

  • Msgr_Moment

    Don’t fund Ice Cream??

  • SoccerMomsforSatan

    What the hell is going on with those people wearing the same red uniforms – is there a hockey team in the audience?

  • Enfant Terrible

    “babies definitely last longer than Buicks!”

    Well, they definitely last longer than Yugos.

  • Governor Caboose…

  • JMP

    Now Paul’s attacking the McCain/Graham wing for their former support of ISIS. Still doesn’t make him less of a dick on everything else.

  • Callyson

    Stop ISIS by not funding and arming them. Oh, if only Rand Paul had said this to Saint Ronnie before Iran-contra got rolling…

  • Msgr_Moment

    Kasich = socialist

  • JohnR

    FYI GWB created ISIS Senator AquaBuddha

  • Msgr_Moment

    OOps. Reagan = socialist

  • CripesAmighty

    Uh oh, expanding Medicaid–Cascading Communism!!!

  • Reddishrabbit

    Kasich who?

    • weejee

      Some owl from the rustbelt.

  • Pat_Pending

    Kasich isn’t wearing a lapel pin. Commie.

  • JMP

    It’s confusing that the Wonkette update ding and the debate time’s up ding sound almost exactly the same.

    • willi0000000

      the sound seems to be attracting dingbats.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …and Kasich just lost .0003% of the GOP vote he had

    • SoccerMomsforSatan

      Hopefully he loses Ohio – not sure why the yahoos around here keep re-electing his shitty ass.

  • TheBidenator

    Someone said Reagan, shots! Kasich zzzzzzz

  • Callyson

    “Reagan expanded Medicare three or four times”

    Glad to see that Kasich–who could have been a real contender–will never get past the right wing firewall in the primaries.

    • Zippy

      He could have been the moderate to challenge Hillz- but they’ll trash him first

    • JMP

      He’s not crazy enough, and may be relegated back to the kids’ table next time – that would be good news for a Rick Perry or Rick Santorum. One of the Ricks anyway.

    • bobbert

      He’s still going for VP — the “reasonable one”.

  • Tsunami of drugs = my belly right now

  • Lady Bug

    Rosie O’Donell: What is this, 1996? Next thing you know Sister Souljah is going to make a cameo.

    • JMP

      These are people who still think “Communist” is a cromulent insult, 1996 is virtually modern for them.

      • Lady Bug

        a zillion points for using the word “cromulent” Your post certainly embiggens me.

  • CripesAmighty

    Kasich just blew himself up.

    • BaddTicker

      He spoke with a little common sense. Ain’t gonna fly with this crowd.

  • Spoken like a true former FOX news host, Kasich.

  • Reddishrabbit

    Wait, they had a topic? I thought they were just asking random questions.

  • Beowoof14

    Damn even looking at that picture of the moderators, makes me want to puke.

    • Drew Miner

      is exciting only time megan gets to “do news” without having her bare legs showing on the tv.

  • JohnR

    Is there an intermission before the Wet T- Shirt Contest?

    • And a eulogy after?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Oh geez, thanks for that image.

    • Beaumarchais?

      The tanker truck for Christie’s is tied up in traffic.

    • Reddishrabbit

      I’m going to just listen to the audio on that one

    • AngryBlakGuy

      …Christy would win that hands down, his breast are bigger than Megyn’s

    • Msgr_Moment

      No. But stomach-pumping afterwards.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …don’t ask JEB! about immigration, he’s a Mexican damn it!!!

  • TheBidenator

    Bye, bye Jeb….

  • Callyson

    Jesus, at least they had mercy during the Puppy Bowl and gave us a commercial break every 15 minutes. Come on, FOX, have some mercy…

  • Marie Watkins Crocker

    Ronald Raven! Ronald Raven! I will never use the correct form of that name again!

    • Vegan and Tiara

      I’ve been enjoying the shit out of imagining a Ronald Raven presidency.

  • Spurning Beer

    DEFUND IMMIGRATION!

  • Beowoof14

    Jeb had a book ghost written. Wow.

  • Callyson

    I did not realize that Jeb! sounds almost as boring as Pataki and Gilmore did earlier. I’m half asleep and he still has not STFU…

  • Pat_Pending

    Jeb is implying that not all Mexicans are rapists…

    • Spotts1701

      Apparently he has forgotten what the target audience is.

    • Lady Bug

      RINO!

    • Drew Miner

      thats a sure disqualification for this primary

  • SheriffRoscoe

    Nobody is drunker than Reince Priebus right now.

  • sillyclucker

    Just tuned in. Christie ‘s hair is making me laugh. He looks like Lil Abner.

    • Callyson

      “Why should Trump have all the fun with hair?”

      – Christie

    • Tallmutha

      Good Lord, Li’l Abner has REALLY let his waistline go!

  • Callyson

    Oh GOD, here we go: TRUMP on immigration…

    • JohnW

      Can he please please please punch Jeb Bush Bush?

  • CripesAmighty

    Aw, this is dragging. Let’s get back to Donald so he can dump on…Oh, here we go!!,

  • weejee

    Sanctuary cites?

  • Msgr_Moment

    Watchagonnado?

  • smr06va

    Yeah, but who has the best spray on tan?………..

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Ben Carson

  • Zippy

    I INVENTED THE ILLEGAL MESSICANS!!!!

    • weejee

      I thought John Wayne did. He lurved him some Messican ladies.

  • TheBidenator

    Awwwww yeah, Trump on Messicans vs. Jeb

  • JMP

    Trump is a HUUUUUGER xenophobic racist than anyway else here!

  • JohnR

    They should ask Trump how many undocumented workers it takes to run and maintain his properties.

    • Callyson

      Oh, this is too easy…

      All of them, Katie.

  • Msgr_Moment

    He needs to buy better journalists

  • Mormos

    Among the most formidable of the obstacles which the new Constitution will have to encounter may readily be distinguished the obvious interest of a certain class of men in every state to resist all changes which may hazard a diminution of the power, emolument, and consequence of the offices they hold under the State establishments; and the perverted ambition of another class of men, who will either hope to aggrandize themselves by the confusions of their country, or will flatter themselves with fairer prospects of elevation from the subdivision of the empire

    -Alexander Hamilton

    • bobbert

      Wish he were a quicker draw.

  • Marie Watkins Crocker

    How is Trump still alive? His hair is clearly sucking his brains. Oh, nevermind…

  • Callyson

    Wait–the Donald thinks immigration would not be on the agenda except for him? Was he paying attention last summer when the wingnuts were going on about the kids crossing the border FFS?

  • Zippy

    Build the wall

    DRINK!

    • Kathleen Ryan Anderson

      I am

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    If we get a Trump hair joke from one of these douche bags what do we drink?

    • weejee

      Dom Perignon 2005?

    • Callyson

      All of them, Katie.

    • shastakoala

      I think dippity-doo as alcohol in it.

    • Mayor_Quimby

      Your finest Jamaican Rum.

    • valthemus

      I’m not watching the debate. If I did my drink of choice would be hemlock.

  • A YOOOOOOOGE WALL WITH A YOOOOOGE DOOR!!1

  • Pat_Pending

    WALLS!!!! MOAR WALLS!!!!

  • shastakoala

    Will it be a golden door Mr. Trump?

  • Steverino247

    Build a wall. And use cheap Mexican labor to do it.

    • Kathleen Ryan Anderson

      Best comment yet!!

    • Pat_Pending

      Shit man, I just went there…

  • JMP

    Host to Trump: answer the actual question.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …BUILD THE FUCKING FENCE!!!!

    • Pat_Pending

      with what? Messican laborers?

    • Charles Cates

      But that will take illegal workers!

  • Beowoof14

    Trump slams Chris Wallace, sweet, and Trump slams the press and the build the wall to keep illegals out, and slams Jeb in the process all sweet. Then Trump takes Jebs question awesome stuff.

  • Callyson

    How cute: the mod is asking Trump for evidence. Hopeless cause, that quest…

    • Beowoof14

      Generally true for any republican talking point. Facts and evidence are like kryptonite to these guys.

    • maman

      His most excellent talent at the border told Trump so!

  • Spurning Beer

    Trump is shouting louder. He wins.

    • Callyson

      He learned from watching BillO.

      • Reddishrabbit

        Wonder if Trump can turn off the mics too.

  • UH OH, not the SASSY HANDS, Donald!

  • Steverino247

    The Mexican government is more cunning? LOL Are you kidding?

    • JohnW

      Well, he is right, the leaders in the GOP are losers :-/

  • Callyson

    Oh thank God–finally a commercial break. Time for a breath of sanity!

  • Pat_Pending

    Man, I only wish for Trump as president cuz he’ll be first up against the WALL when the Revolution comes.

  • Toomush_Infer

    Shit I lost my live feed – what do I do???…

  • sillyclucker

    Trump won’t talk to Jeb! .

  • Pat_Pending

    AAAAAA!!! SCARY DRIED UP FOX LADY!!!! Did anyone else see her??? My eyes…

  • Steverino247

    Trump thinks he’s still with pro wrestling?

    • Msgr_Moment

      Shhhh. I think he’s on a roll.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    I have never been so glad to see a commercial.

    • Pat_Pending

      Fuck yeah…

  • CripesAmighty

    You STOOPID, STOOOPID… Donald Trump in the remake of Plan 9 From Outer Space

  • Reddishrabbit

    Ads.
    Streaming doesn’t have ads it turns out, so I’ll miss the critical news about gold for my IRA account. :(

    • AncienReggie

      Really? I’ve got The Hottest Actresses Who’ve Gone Topless in Films. And it won’t go away.

      • Tallmutha

        I heard they totally spun the polls to come up with that list.

      • deanbooth

        If it persists for more than four hours, call tech support.

  • Charles Cates

    WAH! I DON’T FEEL SAFE!!!

  • JohnR

    They should have a juggler or magician during the interlude, guy spinning plates…something.

    • Reddishrabbit

      I think they have enough clowns already

    • Steverino247

      Ed Sullivan libel!!!!

  • Marie Watkins Crocker

    Does Trump not understand what a coastline is? And how Florida is mostly coastline? Why do I continue to ask these questions? Am I a masochist?

    • Msgr_Moment

      Build that waterwall!

      • NellCote71

        Kevin Costner libel. Oh, wait. Nevermind

  • SheriffRoscoe

    Well this is going better than I had hoped!

  • DahBoner

    The Mexican gum’mint is crafty! THey make those windmills from old beer cans…

  • I don’t remember high school debate team being anything like this . . .

    • Spotts1701

      Usually if it got this bad Coach would throw a dry-erase marker at our heads.

  • Charles Cates

    A woman told a reporter who was on PBS Newshour that she didn’t feel safe going to the beach, afraid of being kidnapped by illegals.

    • Steverino247

      And then turned into a newt?

  • memzilla

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      At last… substance.

  • Beowoof14

    Hey the movie looks a lot more interesting than this debate.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      They’re up against Bones here in the Midwest. Very tempting.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    You know what would be fun? If the comments (wert they allow’d) were integrated INTO the live blog.

  • smr06va

    Ok……Who wins Best Hair?

    • Tallmutha

      Katie, them all of.

  • Suse

    “A can’t miss Hannity”! Bwahaha!

  • JohnR

    They are trying to make Trump mad so he’ll quit, take his ball and go home.

  • Beowoof14

    Wow this 5 lawyers thing and constitutional authority, I want to call the number and tell them to fuck off.

    • NellCote71

      Where was this group in 2004?

      • willi0000000

        fuck that . . . where was this crowd in 2000?

        • NellCote71

          Oops. Sorry. You’re right. Or, in honor of tonight, should I say: Your right?

  • Kitchen run – anyone need anything?

    • Reddishrabbit

      Beer

      • Ah shit, too late…it’s back on?

        Will pee hold ya over?

        • Reddishrabbit

          No Budweiser, I have standards.

    • Steverino247

      Come to think of it, I’ll have a Heineken.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      A functional live stream?

    • Beaumarchais?

      A lobotomy?

    • smr06va

      Pizza.

      • Sorry, but I’m gonna have to “Veto Corleone” that request.

        • smr06va

          Wings?…………..

          • They’re a little cold, but they’re all yours. Thanks for being so patient!

    • Pat_Pending

      Strychnine and a water back.

      • I didn’t actually forget your order – I just wanted to give you some time to think about it.

        That said, will a gently used IV of ricin-infused coconut water suffice?

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      Blue cheese and crackers?

      • Sorry – your order got lost in all the chaos.

        How ’bout a nearly empty can of Easy Cheese and some Triscuit shrapnel?

        • Monsieur_Grumpe

          K.

  • kaw143

    Oh, thank god. The liveblog is up, so I am officially no longer drinking alone! For a moment, there, I was at risk of thinking I had a problem other than the fact that there are people who think these clowns are potentially presidential.

    • NellCote71

      Can you go to the bathroom for me? And let the dog. She’s whining.

  • To cleanse my palate during this break, I’m looking at gifs of muscular Latino men fucking.

  • Callyson

    Oh Christ, they’re back and they’re still going on about immigration. Glad I have a spare bottle of wine.

  • Charles Cates

    Scared?

  • timpundit

    +1 Power up when Trump’s radish head explodes.

  • Reddishrabbit

    MORE TRUMP

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …wow, FOX is laying down the cover fire to go after the Donald!!!

  • Msgr_Moment

    Trumpfellation.

  • JMP

    Governor Kasich, no one cares about you, so can you talk about Donald Trump?

    • Spotts1701

      They didn’t hustle him offstage when they realized he’s about as exciting as dishwater?

  • Pat_Pending

    Kasich speaks TRUTH. Drink!!!!

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      No stream– what did he say?

      • Pat_Pending

        That Trump is hitting a nerve… Oh, at least ONE!

  • rocktonsam

    would it have killed mEGYN to have wore a low cut top?

  • Charles Cates

    And they’ll believe any fucking idiot who shouts!

  • Callyson

    “We need to take lessons from Donald Trump”

    Huh?

    And people thought Kasich was one of the sane ones?

    • Reddishrabbit

      Sane is relative in the GOP

  • Reddishrabbit

    Can I just say, Thx Bill.

    • bobbert

      He is a pretty sneaky fucker.

  • handyhippie65

    i don’t get ads on the internets. yaaa!

  • TheBidenator

    Trump says “no one is a YOOGER racist than me” the other Republicans lower their heads from his giant wingnut cock…

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Jeb’s applause pretty tepid. Trump insults reporters in general again. How will the applause go? Build the wall. Big applause. What about that crowd?

  • Steverino247

    Don’t answer the question and thump your chest, K.

  • BaddTicker

    Waht was Donald saying about someone looking good on their knees. Good job Kasich.

  • Zippy

    Kasich wants to blow Trump right there on stage

  • AncienReggie

    Trump! Trump!

  • JohnR

    If Trump had an ice pick or a base ball bat

  • Callyson

    Mod: Can we answer the fucking question please?

    Kasich: No.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Kasich dodges responding to The Donald.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Oh please don’t feed the Trump ego.

  • Msgr_Moment

    That guy looks Messican. Lynch him!

  • JMP

    One, Donald needs to be louder, angrier, and have access to a time machine. Two, whenever Donald’s not on screen, all the other characters should be asking “Where’s Donald”? Three–

  • Reddishrabbit

    I thought the rule was if you reference another candidate, he gets to respond.
    Guess it doesn’t apply to TRUMP.

  • JohnR

    Wallace is being a dick to the Donald and he not forget

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Somebody needs to be a dick to the fuckface.

    • OneDemin EOr

      Wallace is uniquely qualified for that.

  • Suse

    El Chapo reference – is that worth a drink?

    • Tallmutha

      El Assless Chapo?

    • OneDemin EOr

      Everything since 9pm Eastern has been worth a drink!

  • For those of you who don’t speak Spanish, Rubio said “El Chapo” in Spanish.

    • Suse

      Hahaha!

    • bobbert

      Did he say “cagaleche”?

      • “I don’t always drink milk, but when I do, it’s out of an illegal’s ass.

        Stay thirsty, my enemas.”

        – Sen. Rubio

  • Pat_Pending

    Chapo builds tunnels and Trump’s Mexicans will build a WALL!!!

  • CripesAmighty

    Marco, nobody gives a shit what country they’re coming from…they’re all BROOOOWNNNN!!!!

  • Drew Miner

    what once was a racist dog whistle in the days of nixon, has now become a train whistle in the hands of trump

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Build the fence and block the tunnels!

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      No more blocking the tunnels if they defund Planned Parenthood

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Rubio does a little better but still won’t confront Trump directly. “These are important issues” won’t cut it.

  • timpundit

    Odd absence of Hillary bashing so far…

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Too busy bashing women in general.

  • ArgieBargie

    Ladies and gents, we already have the winner of tonight’s debate:

    Hillary Clinton!

    • Kathleen Ryan Anderson

      Bernie!!

    • valthemus

      Whoever is smart enough to not show up wins. I like games like that.

      • James Christopher Owen

        “A strange game. The only winning move is not to play. How about a nice game of chess?”

  • Rubio thinks we need a fence that also goes upside down because of tunnels…huh? DING DING DING!

  • maman

    Trump is dumb, rapists are from Guatemala!

  • Joshua Norton

    With Trump you get a president who talks like an anonymous Freeper comment.

  • Zippy

    We’ve reached the point of the debate where they fly Pedro in on a wire, dressed in a gimp suit and all the candidates take turns beating him like a piñata

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …Rubio is “rolling” his “R’s” a little too hard, he better be careful or they are going to remember he is Latino!

    • smr06va

      Cruz’s sombrero is much more subtle…………..

  • JohnR

    If Trump wins the VP gets YOOOGE knee pads

  • Callyson

    “People are frustrated”

    And maybe they would be less frustrated if we talked about immigration like grown ups, rather than used that issue to gin up the base, huh, Rubio?

    Then again, why am I asking the guy who backed away from a semi-serious immigration proposal the moment the wingnuts lost their shit over it?

  • Msgr_Moment

    Governor Walker, when did you stop fucking weasels?

    • Assumes facts not in evidence.

      • willi0000000

        yeah . . . weasels got standards.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Any time Walker speaks my TeeVee starts oozing scum.

    • Zippy

      I am the slime…

  • Steverino247

    Stop hiring them and they all go home, pretty much. Americans can’t watch their own kids, clean their own homes, mow their own lawns, etc.

  • Why?

    Two words: Koch cock.

  • kaw143

    Is it just me, or did Fox steal the “A NEW CAR!” bell from The Price Is Right for their “Shut up, already!” alert?

  • Zippy

    I listened to the the people- but I hate when Obama governs by poll numbers

  • DensityDestiny

    Man, it’s going to take a lot of Mexicans to build that wall. Where are we going to get them if we kick ’em out. It’s a paradox!

    • James Christopher Owen

      They’re gonna work from the MEXICAN side, silly!

  • Callyson

    Scottie: I *also* want to secure the border! Do I get a gold star now?

  • Beaumarchais?

    “There go my people—I must follow them!”

  • Lot_49

    What time are Megyn and Donald meeting up after the debate?

  • Mayor_Quimby

    So, no more Mexican penetration? Hmmm.

  • JMP

    Last 30 years? Try 160 years; the racist fear-mongering over immigrants has been going on at least since the Know-Nothings in 1855.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      KEEP OUT THE IRISH

  • Steverino247

    Secure the border? Bring back the draft, buddy, because they’re no other way to do that.

  • Beowoof14

    There are two signs on the Border “Keep Out” and “Help Wanted” guess who benefits from hiring the help.

  • DahBoner

    The Chilean Miners will just build a tunnel under the wall!!!!

  • Villago Delenda Est

    How does this idiot propose to “secure” the border? I want details. Do you know what logistics are, Walker? No? I’m not the least bit surprised.

    • valthemus

      Details are for wussy college graduates who aren’t in the hip pocket of a billionaire (or two)

  • Pat_Pending

    Whenever Walker sez ‘American People’ I want to renounce my citizenship.

    • Zippy

      I want to renounce his

  • Msgr_Moment

    Waiting for the question on the how many American citizens who mass murdered Amurricans?

  • Ex dente leonem

    Even the moderators are calling them “illegals” now. Trump’s really raised the conversation.

  • TheBidenator

    Rubio looked ready to reach for the water, fucker is probably downing a glacier right now…

  • Lot_49

    Finally some more Cruz Time. Now he’s going after McConnell again. What a winner!

  • JMP

    Of course even the Fox moderators use the racist dehumanizing “illegals” terminology; of course.

    • Steverino247

      Yeah, I noticed that. Sad.

  • Pat_Pending

    Kate who?

    • Reddishrabbit

      Not a Fox viewer.

  • You’re a Cubanadian anchor babby, Cruz.

    Your opinion is fucking irrelevant.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Anchor babbies are usually cute. What happened to him?

  • Suse

    Go fry some bacon, Ted.

    • Reddishrabbit

      I don’t think they let guns into the debate.
      Odd that, must be really unsafe.

  • Callyson

    And the inconvenient fact that immigrants commit crime at a lower rate than native-born Americans will be mentioned immediately, right?

    Ah, I needed that good laugh.

  • JohnR

    The problem is they won’t cup my balls.

  • DahBoner

    Eddie Munster works for the Washington Cartel or is he from Shelbyville?

  • Remember when everybody got all twisted up about George H.W. Bush looking at his watch during a debate?

    • JohnR

      Waiting for one of them to answer the phone

    • Pat_Pending

      Remember when he had the little mystery box under his jacket?

      • Jukesgrrl

        Did anyone ever solve that mystery?

      • bobbert

        That was GWB, not GHWB.

  • TheBidenator

    Ted Cruz’s voice makes me want to hit myself over the head with a tackhammer.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      I guess that’s one advantage of not being able to access the stream.

  • Beaumarchais?

    I’m happy to see that Cruz can’t keep up.

    • Zippy

      he’s pretty unimpressive

    • Reddishrabbit

      The Debate God

      • bobbert

        The thing is, these are never debates (a la Havahd). They’re duelling soundbites. Cruz has never demonstrated the necessary quick wit.

    • valthemus

      Even Cruz’s massive ego gets overshadowed by Donald Trump’s

  • Lot_49

    You could shine a pair of riding boots with Megyn’s false eyelashes.

    • Beaumarchais?

      She’s no Helen Thomas.

  • Next up on the Champagne Stage: Amnesty! Gentleman, let’s all give the little lady a hand!”

    • bobbert

      Good ear. “Amnesty” could totally work.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    The “Washington Cartel”. Rafael, that word, I do not think it means what you think it means.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Cruz pisses on Yertle again.

  • Callyson

    Wow, it took 35 minutes to get to terrorism? The GOP is getting soft on that issue…

  • JMP

    Enough Latino-bashing, now time for some Muslim-bashing!

    • Spotts1701

      Gotta spread it around, else they’ll forget who to hate on cue.

  • Mormos

    ted cruz’s face is the price is right failure sound

  • CripesAmighty

    Trope # 934: invoke the dead pretty rich white girl to freak everyone out about the hordes.

  • jmk

    It’s so cute the way that “fundamentally change this country” is like a tic with them.

  • Vegan and Tiara

    You know who else didn’t like immigrants?
    Native Americans, and also Hitler too, of course.

  • Yep. Christie’s toupee is still on upside-down. And backwards, now, too.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …so Ted and Marco, since you guys dislike amnesty so much I assume you would be for the revocation of the “Wet foot, dry foot” policy?!?!?

  • Steverino247

    Humans can commit illegal acts, but cannot be illegal themselves.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Semantics upset Republicans very much. They seem to consider all correct usage to be “political correctness.”

  • Reddishrabbit

    Amazing that Christie doesn’t have the worst hair, Trump takes away everything.

  • JMP

    Christie is 9/11 in the evening!

  • Callyson

    Oh Christ, that’s now three governors who have invoked 9.11 as a reason to vote for them.

  • TheBidenator

    Fucking Ted Cruz is like a human commercial break…shut the fuck up, back bacon.

    • Jukesgrrl

      I’ve been calling him Canadian Cruz, because it sounds like a drink, but Back Bacon is better. He IS far more greasy looking than alcohol could ever be.

  • timpundit

    Someone throw that land whale some krill.

  • Msgr_Moment

    GOP? Responsible? Never.

  • Marie Watkins Crocker

    Christ Christie wins race to mention 9/11, but his hair took the award.

  • Lot_49

    Christie says 9/11 happened in “his” state. Hengngh?

    • HE’S ANNEXING MANHATTAN! DE BLASIO AND CUOMO BEWARE!!!

    • Beaumarchais?

      They were tall buildings! Must have tipped over into Jersey.

    • Spotts1701

      Who knew they relocated Lower Manhattan to Trenton?

    • Jukesgrrl

      He must have opened the bridge.

      • willi0000000

        . . . but not a new tunnel.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Oh my gawd, Christie is making himself to be the Rudi of 2016!

  • Mhael

    Um… “cartel??” That’s… that’s not what that mean, dude. o.O

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Christie channeling Rudy.

  • willi0000000

    NSA . . . 9-11 . . . christie’s turn

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    I need more bandwidth.

  • CripesAmighty

    9/11, Homeland–2 bingo spaces.

  • Rand Paul has a punchable voice.

  • TheBidenator

    Chris Christy will spend this debate sitting on Rand Paul, he’s ready for it.

  • malsperanza

    So this whole thing is just the Fox corporation’s effort to be taken seriously by people outside its demographic. How’s that working out?

  • LOOKOUT! CHRISTIE’S GONNA SIT ON RAND!

  • data_ninja

    Terrorist = Any undesirable, american citizen or not.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …uh-oh Fatso and Buhda are going at it!!!

  • Zippy

    SLAP FIGHT!

  • Callyson

    Ooooh, the bitchslap between Christie and Paul is a sight for sore eyes. LOVE that infighting!

  • m3bosha

    Holy crap. I’m already drunk cuz of this shit, and I didn’t even get to pick a name game. Gotta say tho, my favs so far was Megyn giving Trump some shade. But everything else has been utter BS. Much as I hoped…

  • Nice derisive gyration there, Christie.

    Don’t get carried away!

  • Beowoof14

    Christie tell Paul off nice, that make my night.

  • Vegan and Tiara

    I love that Scott Walker listens to the American “people.” I guess David AND Charles Koch do count as “people.”

    • willi0000000

      on the Minnesota Multiphasic they actually score as rabid baboons.

  • ez

    Did Christy just admit he caused 9-11? He said he started as a Prosecutor on 9-10 and the next day the world changed.

    Treason!

  • Suse

    It’s “fewer records” Rand, not “less records.”

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Gov. Christie Make a point… Ha!

  • Serolf Divad

    Christie’s gonna quarantine Rand Paul for bringing the terrorbola into the U.S.

  • Steverino247

    Get a warrant!

    Great idea! Arrest all these assholes.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    WHOA, LET’S GO OUTSIDE AND FIGHT, TRIBBLEHEAD!

  • JohnR

    Looks like Rand inherited his Dad’s ill fitting suits, as well as his political machine.

  • Pat_Pending

    OOH! We’ve got a little rhubarb goin’! Get ’em Rand!! Get ’em Chris!

  • Lot_49

    Hug Obama!

  • jmk

    Fight fight fight fight!!!

  • Ex dente leonem

    “How will we know who’s a terrorist unless we’re spying on everybody?”

  • Spurning Beer

    HUG FIGHT

  • TheBidenator

    Fight! fight! fight!

  • Beowoof14

    Oh damn Rand bringing up the hug.

  • SheriffRoscoe

    They’re gonna need a bigger tent.

  • Reddishrabbit

    Ah, Obama and Christie sitting in a tree…

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …cheap shot from Rand!!!

  • RUGS NOT HUGS!

    • Lot_49

      Toupees, not cliches!

  • JMP

    Christie and Paul sound ready to get in an actual fist fight.

  • Beaumarchais?

    CAT FIGHT!!

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Rand and Christie yelling at each other. Rand and Bill of Rights not so popular. Oh, Rand just brought up the big Obama hug. Now that got him some applause.

  • lowenufc

    I don’t know what is more toxic- the nonsense spewed by these pinheads, or the alcohol that they make me drink to deal with them.

  • Zippy

    Hey Rand, why do you hate Murica?

  • timpundit

    Eddie Haskill plays the Obama Hug card, nice!

  • Steverino247

    The Big Hugs Story.

  • Vegan and Tiara

    Oooohhh…Christie hugged Obama! Jeez, what a queer.

  • JohnR

    Knife fight following the WET T – SHIRT CONTEST

  • andreamd

    You guys take care of this for me. I want to read my book. Good night

  • Beowoof14

    Wow, that exchange made watching worth it,

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Christie just called Tribblehead a grifter.

  • Joshua Norton

    Chris Christie is like pissed off Macy’s balloon

    • Steverino247

      Underdog libel!!!

  • Serolf Divad

    Rand and Christie are getting a room after this… you know it’s true.

  • Steverino247

    Screw the Facebook.

  • timpundit

    LMAO Christie hugs the hardest!!1!

  • Mormos

    OH SHUT THE FUCK UP CHRIS CHRISTIE!

    cheap bullshit, evoking the dead. necromancy spells have the evil descriptor you know.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …c’mon Trump, jump into this Melee!!!

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    I saw a black person!!!!!!!!!

    • Suse

      Where where???

      • JMP

        On a screen, asking a question through the facebooks.

  • fauxcault

    So the field *didn’t* get the memo that Reince Priebus sent out a few days ago about playing nice with each other and focusing their suppressing fire on Bamz and Hillz…

    • willi0000000

      they got the memo . . . they just don’t get it.

  • Skwerl King

    yeah I am streaming… I can play now

  • jviscont1

    is it too late to invest in the flag lapel pin biz?

    • willi0000000

      another few thousand pug candidates and you might be a millionaire.

  • Blender_415

    Oh my god I think I’m being raptured; this is glorious.

  • Christopher Boscarino

    Wait Paul said something smart about the bill of rights
    ? I AM taking too many drinks, I think.

  • Usedtobeyellerdawg

    Loving Paul/Christie slugfest.

  • Spurning Beer

    UTTER THE FUCKING WORDS, OBAMA!!1!

  • Reddishrabbit

    OMG, so simple! I never knew that ISIL would just fold.

  • Msgr_Moment

    Raffi is not afraid to use the words. So is terreirism over now?

  • Skwerl King

    Magic words will get rid of ISIS!

    • data_ninja

      Of course! You just say their name BACKWARDS and call them a “SISSY!”

  • Zippy

    Now we know the secret to defeat ISIS- utter the magic words

    • Toomush_Infer

      Molatov??…..

  • Beowoof14

    Ted, is showing just how stupid he really is.

  • JMP

    Just like Jindal, Cruz thinks the words “Radical Islamic Terrorist” are magic and the President must say them.

    • Beaumarchais?

      In that order!

    • Left Coast Tom

      Can’t he just say “double, double, toil and trouble, fire burn and cauldron bubble”?

  • Serolf Divad

    ISIL just bought Starbucks, right?

  • Beaumarchais?

    Wonder when they’re going to get around to police-on-black violence.

    • CripesAmighty

      1st Democratic debate.

    • LarkintheAM

      Oh, about never o’clock.

  • Steverino247

    How about Christian Terrorists like Cheryl Sullenger, et al.

  • Msgr_Moment

    Who are these ten silly simpletons?

  • Villago Delenda Est

    If we’re looking for a Commander-in-Chief who speaks the truth, there’s no one on this stage who qualifies.

    Rafael does not understand cause and effect, either.

  • JohnR

    You have to say the magic words, no military solution? Ted Cruz with his creepy voice?

  • BaddTicker

    I don’t know how much more of this I can take. I’m starting to feel like the passengers on “Airplane” who had to sit next to Ted Striker.

  • Beowoof14

    That is perhaps the dumbest thing I have heard tonight, Yeah Ted.

  • LarkintheAM

    OK, Last child is in bed. Whaddi miss?

  • idiotboy

    they just debated who gives the best hugs

  • JMP

    Cruz: KILL THEM ALL!

  • Steverino247

    Obama got bin Laden, so your argument is invalid.

  • Reddishrabbit

    Shit, did he just basically diss almost all counter insurgency theory and Clauswitz theory of war.

  • TheBidenator

    Haha, like Ted Cruz will listen to generals…he’s Ted Cruz!

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …that’s right just saying “radical Islamic terrorism” will scare the shit out of ISIS that they will shit their pants

  • I_Buttle

    Yeah, say the words Obama! That’ll show ’em!

  • willi0000000

    kill them all!!!!!

    [ always a solution ]

  • timpundit

    I had to replay that Christie v Paul rumble, totally worth the basic cable bill this month.

  • Kathleen Ryan Anderson

    these wankers are a hoot………

  • Zippy

    SAY IT, YOU KENYAN! SAY THE WORDS!

    • bluicebank

      Heisenberg?

  • Steverino247

    Cruz has been possessed by Joe McCarthy.

  • Serolf Divad

    We will never defeat Radical Islamic Terrorism until we have a president willing to utter the word superkalafragislisticexpialadocious!

  • Spotts1701

    I wasn’t aware that using their true name would give you power over ISIS? Are they Carrionites?

    • Rumpelstiltskin!!!

      • Spotts1701

        If we say it backwards will it send them back to the 5th Dimension?

    • Besides, EVERYONE knows that the real name to call them if you really want to piss them off is Da’esh.

      • willi0000000

        Dinesh?

        • bobbert

          Close enough.

  • Mrs. Bush looks so awkward up there in that puce tie.

  • Reddishrabbit

    So Cruz knows more then his generals about war fare.
    Shit, I didn’t know Harvard was such a tough place.

  • willi0000000

    raphael said another magic word . . . crusade

  • timpundit

    Cruz is so close to declaring someone a witch.

  • maman

    I thought the bells were for being over time but they are ringing all the time. Jeez

  • Zippy

    BEETLEJUICE

  • Beowoof14

    Hey Jeb got the anwer right this time.

  • Pat_Pending

    Jeb! looks like a frightened rabbit every time it’s his turn…

  • timpundit

    Oh yeah, Jeb is there too! Hi, Jeb.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      Fox News wants him to wins sooooo hard.

  • Anarchy Pony

    It only counts as terrorism when it’s perpetrated by non state entities, otherwise it’s shock and awe.

  • Beaumarchais?

    Knowing what we know NOW? Some of us knew it then, douchebag!

    • Skwerl King

      And the power vacuum thing

    • Lot_49

      Nobody who mattered. Everything worked out the way it was supposed to.

  • Serolf Divad

    We need an Egytian muslim president, not a Kenyan muslim!

  • Vegan and Tiara

    Let’s have ourselves a good old fashioned prayer off!

  • JMP

    Jeb sort of admits Iraq was a bad idea, but he looooves the troops, and anyway it’s retroactively Obama’s fault.

  • Usedtobeyellerdawg

    Cruuuuz! (Will be appreciated by old Houston Astros fans. If he’s still alive.)

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Faulty intelligence? No. Your worthless brother and his puppetmaster wanted a war without regard to the intelligence.

    Jeb’s lying about Obama now.

    • bobbert

      Now?

  • stefiz

    It’s Pappy O’Daniel…

  • Steverino247

    The only faulty intelligence was in the Bush Administrition, not with the intel community.

  • Zippy

    And Jerb! gets history completely wrong

  • Steverino247

    Iran = Isis now?

    • BWAHAHA the Ayatollahs and the wannabe-Caliph hate each other.

  • TheBidenator

    shorter Jeb: my brother is a fucking idiot but I’ll blame Obama for following his withdrawal agreement with Iraq.

  • Ex dente leonem

    Damn Obama, abandoning Iraq on the same schedule that Bush planned to abandon Iraq.

  • maman

    Is Jeb saying we can’t take out Indiana!? Traitor!

  • Beowoof14

    Oh the Iran agreement should be stopped to stop ISIS, you would have to be a complete moron to buy that shit.

    • Reddishrabbit

      Iran bad.
      ISIS bad.
      So all bad.

    • Left Coast Tom

      In other words, a GOP primary voter…

  • JohnR

    The lesson is Jeb’s! brother is to blame for the whole mess.

  • Pat_Pending

    So Jeb! polled his constituency of bereaved, and came up with a consensus that the war was worth it. Nice!

  • Walker don’t no cutries

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …you would think JEB! Would remember that his brother is the one that signed the status of forces agreement that dictated that would leave Iraq

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Well, that’s not part of the near sheriff narrative.

  • timpundit

    Boring, Jeb. Hit Carson in the crotch.

  • BaddTicker

    Jeb! is his own man buts wants to start a war like his other family members.

  • Steverino247

    Obama-Clinton?

  • Beaumarchais?

    Leading from behind!

  • TheBidenator

    Scott Walker says we’re leading from behind, I fully support him going over and leading the troops into battle.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      He won’t last long. There’s a technique the troops use on idiots.

      • bobbert

        Is there a Guiness Record for quickest fragging?

    • Spotts1701

      Leading from behind unless we’re being executive tyrants by not waiting for Congress.

  • Beowoof14

    Send the troops in as long as it isn’t my kid.

  • willi0000000

    leading from their behinds . . . again

  • Skwerl King

    Walker is as boring as T-Paw

  • kdez

    Man, it’s like a buffet of assholes. I can’t believe I hate the whole thing!

    • Metadude

      MMMMM asshole buffet! Shnork…

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …TORTURE, FUCK YEAH!!!

  • Steverino247

    Ben gets to talk about torture now.

  • “The arc of this debate is long, but it bends toward derpness.”

    – Dr. Ben Carson

  • misedumacated

    Jeb brain fart. Beautiful moment there.

  • Mormos

    fuck dog and pony show, this is more like some sick donkey show in a border town.

  • JohnR

    I’m pretty sure I got this thing won.

  • TheBidenator

    “politically correct wars”= Ben Carson is a fucking idiot.

    • bobbert

      But you repeat every functioning person.

  • Pat_Pending

    Hey, they haven’t gone to the Black Man enough! And he agrees! They must be waiting to play the race cards…

  • DustBowlBlues

    Hi. I nearly missed this one, as well. That’s what I get for watching MSNBC. Christ, this is the same old shit. I’m not sure I missed a thing.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    They do have a black debater!

  • Ex dente leonem

    Human rights, so politically correct.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Carson hearts waterboarding.

    • Lot_49

      Trump wants to waterboard Megyn in a wet t-short (her, not him).

  • Bobwurst

    This has probably said before, but fucking these fucking fucksticks with flaming fucksticks that Rick them in every hole they have, including their traditional fuckholes but not excluding their no traditional fuckholes.

  • Steverino247

    Hey asshole! We hung Japanese for doing the same thing we did.

  • jmk

    Ohhhh another one with the secret plan?

    Did Carson just say he was against the Geneva Convention?

    • bobbert

      Probably not, because that would require him to know what the fuck it is.

  • Usedtobeyellerdawg

    Ben Carson sees his own irrelevance.

    • Zippy

      he was the last one to do so

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …Ben Carson sounds like someone accidentally left a surgical sponge in his cranium

  • idiotboy

    scott walker likes all the arab countries including isreal and they are the bestest

  • maman

    Dr. Ben is about smarty pantness. BOOO

  • Beowoof14

    Yeah WAR WAR WAR

    • Reddishrabbit

      Ah, I miss Lindsy. He loves war.

  • Serolf Divad

    The Saudis hate Obama, ergo he’s a mooslem terrorist.

  • willi0000000

    waterboard . . . OK if it’s a secret . . . tell ’em benny

    and win with our giant brains . . . that he will operate on!

  • JMP

    Carson wants to win wars – but America hasn’t been able to do that since 1945 under FDR and Truman.

    • Reddishrabbit

      GRENADA!
      We whipped them good.

  • timpundit

    Good idea, Ben, let’s win wars.

  • Steverino247

    Knife in the back? DId I hear that old German canard just then.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Hey, Dr. Ben, what happened to “first do no harm”?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Doesn’t play well with the teabagger base. They want to harm.

  • Pat_Pending

    Trump spoke a truth. Drink!

  • r m reddicks

    “the left doesn’t think Carson believes in fighting stupid wars.” ???

  • valthemus

    Let me know if one of the candidates tries to talk about rape. Either Megyn Kelly will trigger a trap door for them to fall through, or Reince Priebus will drop a 50 ton weight on them.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Oh wow, good question to Trump. He’s dodging the question of course.

  • Vegan and Tiara

    Carson don’t need no fucking stupid war. He’ll fight smart wars! Did I mention he’s a BRAIN SURGEON, and he’s black? Funny how no Republican ever mentioned that Obama is a Harvard law graduate.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      He also didn’t answer a very simple question.

      • Vegan and Tiara

        He’s kind of an idiot. I’d be afraid to let him touch my brain.

  • TheBidenator

    Hah! Trump just called the others fucking idiots for supporting the Iraq war….god I love this asshole.

    • Pat_Pending

      This indeed is the problem.

  • Beowoof14

    Change the subject, Donald.

  • Serolf Divad

    Ben Carson has a secret plan to waterboard obamacare.

  • gingerland62

    Donald Trump a man of vision…

  • Skwerl King

    Obamacare! Trump wants to own it.

    • Steverino247

      You’re fired!

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Oh he’s talking about the evil insurance companies!

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      So he wants single payer? I’m on board with that!

  • Zippy

    Get rid of the artificial lines

    • Reddishrabbit

      Not the southern one I’m guessing

  • Vegan and Tiara

    Trump calls everyone else a “politician.”

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Trump zings Rand!

  • Ex dente leonem

    Trump’s replacement for Obamacare: “a different system”

    • jmk

      Yes, because that’s super specific

  • GenuineClass

    Bazinga, Trump!

  • TheBidenator

    Trump is getting closer to losing his temper….it’s gonna happen.

  • Skwerl King

    ZING! Your having a hard night Rand!

    • Zippy

      sit down, son

  • JMP

    A decade? The Republicans have been fighting against a single-payer system since 1948 – they’ve been evil for a long time.

  • Me not sure

    Did I hear Scott Walker say Egypt is in Israel?

  • Vegan and Tiara

    Is it wrong that I’m starting to like Trump?

    • Pat_Pending

      No. And Yes.

    • BaddTicker

      Yes

    • He is the Honey Badger of the GOP.

    • Left Coast Tom

      I don’t know…is he smearing you with caviar to help your skin?

      • Vegan and Tiara

        He’s smearing the GOP, and I’m loving it. He’s still an asshole, but now he’s MY asshole.

  • Beaumarchais?

    This is a shit show.

  • Serolf Divad

    Donal Trump is going to annex Canada and steal its health care.

  • jmk

    Swing that dick, Donald.

  • stefiz

    Right hook from Trump and Rand goes down

  • sillyclucker

    How many times is Trump going to say “I’m the only one that (fill in the blank) ?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Until we’re all really drunk.

  • Usedtobeyellerdawg

    I’m know of loving the Don in a really dirty perverse secret life way. Don’t tell anyone.

  • Zippy

    Those hands are mesmerizing

  • Beowoof14

    Wow they’re begging Donald for money

  • Drew Miner

    Dr. Carson cant wait to disavow his hippocratic oath and get his hands wet doing the torture!

    • Steverino247

      Yup.

    • bobbert

      It’s like public psychoanalysis.

  • Suse

    The Donald and Rand are going to duke it out in the alley behind the convention center after it’s over.

  • Vegan and Tiara

    Trump, you magnificent bastard!

  • bluicebank

    I’m going to watch The Big Lebowski. After I get sauced because of this.

  • You missed the obvious venereal disease dig there, Donald.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Trump blows the cover story about contributions.

    • Reddishrabbit

      Kochs won’t be pleased…

  • Beowoof14

    Donald is slamming everyone nice.

  • Beaumarchais?

    He is a force of nature.

  • DustBowlBlues

    Trump says something true.

    • Pat_Pending

      And I drank!

  • jmk

    And Walker throws some red meat to the crowd.

    • Pat_Pending

      What a little whiny titty-baby.

  • Serolf Divad

    Trump could buy everyone on this stage 20 times over… and , have in many cases.

  • DustBowlBlues

    Walker is such a fucking hypocrite.

  • handyhippie65

    paul and trump for king and queen of the prom.

  • Steverino247

    Hillary didn’t fuck up Wisconsin, you did!

  • Joshua Norton

    “political correctness,” better known as “shit my grandkids won’t let me say out loud at Denny’s.”

  • kaw143

    So, Donald Trump is the Godfather, somehow? AND A SEVERED HORSEHEAD IN EVERY BED!

  • CripesAmighty

    1st question from a deleted commenter…

  • JMP

    Too bad Perry isn’t here, the mod remembered all three departments!

  • JohnR

    Let’s not talk about us because we suck so bad, let’s talk about Hilary.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …YAYYY we hate clean air and educated children!!!

  • DensityDestiny

    hahahahahaha….Trump to Rand: You’re having a bad night…..hahahahah

  • SnarkOff

    Just arrived home from a dinner thing. Haven’t turned on the TV yet. I’m seriously thinking of skipping out on this misery altogether and watching Netflix instead.

  • timpundit

    lol, finally someone mentions Hillary.

  • JohnR

    It’s not too big to shrink it’s too small to shrink wait, what???

  • Beaumarchais?

    Huck is pissed that the donor class doesn’t like him anymore.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Hucksterbee is blaming Wall Street. He’s tuned into the teatards.

  • DustBowlBlues

    Ooh, Huckabee getting all feisty.

  • Beowoof14

    Huck cut all the departments will ya and now taking on Wall St. Big Balls Huck, and you’re headed back to Arkansas after that.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …c’mon Huckabee, loop this around to the bible!!!

  • JMP

    Huckabee: federal government bad, states good!

    • Zippy

      except when they legalized ghey marriage

  • Steverino247

    If the states would stop fucking their citizens, the Feds would leave you alone.

  • Serial_Parking_Violator

    Jeb! compared ISIS to Indiana. Poopy head.

  • Vegan and Tiara

    SHUT THE FUCK UP HUCKABEE!

  • TheBidenator

    Mike Huckabee has lots of man dates with David Barton and Josh Duggar…he’s a sick, squirrel eating fucker…

  • Ex dente leonem

    In what world does Huckabee live where the red states pay more to the federal government than they leech out of it?

  • Usedtobeyellerdawg

    Huck; ” Something, something. .please pay attention to me!”

  • JohnR

    EPA-drink Dept of ED- drink IRS- drink

  • Pat_Pending

    So if Trump runs the table and we’re stuck with him in the general… I’m ok with that.

  • jmk

    Oh shut the fuck up, Fuckabee – did you think the federal government would give you that money for free?

    • JohnW

      Ain’t Alabama a taker state? More in Federal funding than payments in Federal taxes?

      • jmk

        Exactly. Apparently, Huck thinks that the vast sums the feds gave him to finance a state that couldn’t pay for itself should be “no strings attached.”

  • Beaumarchais?

    Right, a tax on consumption will get the economy going.

    • Zippy

      that’ll really drive sales

    • Reddishrabbit

      Mitt Romney was looking at that new CarElevator 9010x…

    • Villago Delenda Est

      You know, some obscure Scotsman figured out how stupid that was over two centuries ago.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      It’s working in Kansas! Look at how great things are going in Brownbackistan.

  • LarkintheAM

    Jesus save me because my ears are starting to bleed.

  • willi0000000

    hucky wanna kill the DOE and the IRS

  • Reddishrabbit

    Consumption tax, because we can fuck the poor more

  • Steverino247

    A tax on consumption has been tried, but the wealthy stopped buying stuff to make the tax go away.

    • Left Coast Tom

      Oh, that was the yacht tax. I’m sure they don’t plan to repeat that.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      TAX THE GROCERIES OF THE POOR!

  • shastakoala

    Trump knows about all things artificial.

  • jmk

    Oh Ben, that’s just fucking stupid.

  • TheBidenator

    Ben Carson’s tax plan= 999! Actually, that’s not fair his idea isn’t quite that terrible.

  • Beowoof14

    Tithe instead of tax, okay Ben, go back to sleep stupid.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Carson just came out for tithing. And he sounds slower than everyone else, even Rubio has more pep.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …”Tithed” based fiscal policy?!?!

  • Beaumarchais?

    Or, we could tithe! Jeebus, hand me a fish.

  • lowenufc
  • Pat_Pending

    Carson has gone tithe-y. Fuck the flat tax, you moron.

  • Steverino247

    So, how many goats do I send to the IRS, Doc?

  • JMP

    How can you call a consumption tax a “fair tax” when it’s one of the most regressive and unfair taxes that there can be? Fucking liar.

    • Skwerl King

      Fair for billionaires,

  • Mayor_Quimby

    10, 10, 10! You don’t owe me nothing? Is god black? Whut is happening

  • Serolf Divad

    Will you abolish all of government except for Fox News blue-hair viewers free-market Medicaid.

  • Ex dente leonem

    Yeah let’s base the internal revenue of the third largest country in the world on a 7000 year old desert tribe’s village handbook.

  • Vegan and Tiara

    BOOOOO…educated kids!!! Boo!

  • Mormos

    these people and their ideology is dangerous. The transformation in Trump worries me. Welcome to “Candidate Trump,” a persona that conservatives can rally around.

  • JohnR

    Dr. Ben Hypnotist, yawn must sleep now.

  • Marie Watkins Crocker

    This debate is more entertaining than television.

  • Zippy

    VOUCHERS!
    DRINK!

  • Beaumarchais?

    Jeb just cut his brother!

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Ben Carson is just getting screwed for time. He’s still a douche bag though.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      At least Trump is semi-entertaining. The rest are tripping over their own lies.

  • TheBidenator

    Jeb= vouchers for all and it worked! Then everyone looks and sees he’s talking about Florida…

  • JMP

    Bush: hey look, forget about Common Core, I stole from the public schools – and the poor – to give to the private schools – and the rich!

    • data_ninja

      But that’s Kasich’s platform!

  • Beaumarchais?

    Let’s beat the teachers!

  • Steverino247

    Vouchers just give money to churches that don’t have to disclose their accounting.

  • Skwerl King

    Beating the Teachers Union. Them evil teachers

  • CripesAmighty

    Straight from the mouth of supply side Jeebus: Tax ham, not hedge funds

  • Beowoof14

    Attack the unions yeah got that in

  • Steverino247

    Reform-DRINK!

  • Joshua Norton

    “Here’s a question from a babbling twat waffle on Facebook. Please answer it seriously.”

  • timpundit

    Jeb is showing movement.

  • Steverino247

    Yeah, like going to the school board works. Please.

  • Serolf Divad

    Common core? Isn’t that where they teach gay sex and evolution?

  • TheBidenator

    Rubio- “Come on fuckers, waterboard me! Urghhhh!”

  • Steverino247

    Throat cramming comes back strong.

  • JMP

    Rubio thinks education must be local, because it’s easier for dumbass parents to force the schools to teach kids that the Earth is 6000 years old and Jesus rode a dinosaur.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    OH MY GAWD THEY’RE FORCING IT DOWN OUR THROATS, JUST LIKE THE GHEYS!

  • Drew Miner

    Carson sounds smarter the less he talks

  • r m reddicks

    Rube: “Where’s my water bottle?”

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Jeb against dumbing down? Jeb?

    • Reddishrabbit

      He is the smart one in his family. So, very relative.

  • OneDemin EOr

    Oh God, Rubio, stop liking Common Corpse!

  • willi0000000

    i’d rather watch Beat The Reaper

    • Beaumarchais?

      I’d rather beat my meat.

    • Msgr_Moment

      Mr. Boehner, you have jaundice!

  • Pat_Pending

    Yay! Commercials!

  • Beowoof14

    Oh thank God a commercial

    • Reddishrabbit

      Drink!

    • BaddTicker

      I’m just afraid there’s a fist fight going on now

      • jmk

        Afraid? Or just afraid to miss it?

        • Villago Delenda Est

          DING DING DING!

          I want to see the Outlaw Joisey Whale and Tribblehead get down!

          • jmk

            I picture them being hosed down to cool them off in the breaks.

  • Reddishrabbit

    Rubio is such a good candidate on paper. Then you see him and hear him talk, and yeah, not going to be president.

    • Steverino247

      So true. He should have been at the Kiddie’s Table.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Right now he’s guzzling a quart of water during the commercial break.

  • jmk

    Oh Hebbie… I don’t think you should mention lowering standards, considering the company you keep.

  • Steverino247

    Everybody can’t go to college, nor should they. My plumber doesn’t need a Ph.D.

    • data_ninja

      Are you implying that his education would go down the drain?

      • Steverino247

        Yup. Plus, he’d make LESS money than he does now.

    • Technically, your plumber doesn’t need to read.

      • Steverino247

        He’s my cousin, so yes, he does.

        • Okay, I don’t even know whether your original comment was a quote from the debate or whether you meant it seriously. It sounds like the kind of thing RWNJs say to try to eliminate all education except for the technical/vocational. Your electrician (for example) can be a perfectly good electrician if he’s a Young Earth Creationist who thinks Obama is a lizard person and the sun is 10,000 miles awya.

          • Steverino247

            It’s the other way around. Kids can’t get vocational training in high school anymore. The emphasis is on getting everybody to an Ivy League school because that’s how high school administrators judge their effectiveness and value. Kids should be able to learn a trade if that’s what they want to do. Not imposing that, but offering it. Now, they’re required to take courses they have no interest in and will never need. Education should serve everybody.

            Short version, of course.

  • Suse

    Yeah, Marco. The RWNJs are cramming American exceptionalism down AP history students throats. But that’s okay?

  • sillyclucker

    Chris Wallace looks like a puppet.

    • Pat_Pending

      That’s cuz Frank Oz has his hand up his butt.

  • Skwerl King

    Time to refresh the jug of Night Train.

  • Serolf Divad

    Here’s the problem with common core: Satan fucking Karl Marx.

    • Beaumarchais?

      Oh, I think Marx was a top.

  • Msgr_Moment

    The stupid is making my brain melt.

    • Pat_Pending

      Be brave.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Courage

  • timpundit

    So far I think Mondale is winning.

    • Lady Bug

      Lloyd Bentsen libel!

      • Pat_Pending

        And none of them are any sort of Jack Kennedy…

        • Jukesgrrl

          Can you imagine if JFK could show up here looking like what he looked like then? These morans would melt into the woodwork and Megyn would probably change her registration.

          • ThePuckStopsHere

            Not to mention her unmentionables.

    • Drew Miner

      Hell, i think Dukakis would do just fine against this feild.

      • Jukesgrrl

        Kitty Dukakis would fit right if she just weren’t sober.

    • Stockdale for Veep! He could still surprise us!

      • Metadude

        Why am I here? A question I ask myself every day!

    • Usedtobeyellerdawg

      Bill the dead cat and Opus!

  • Beowoof14

    Well so far, Huckabee, Christie and Paul, have me wanting to kick them in the nuts.

    • Reddishrabbit

      That’s all?

    • Steverino247

      What’s new?

    • willi0000000

      only them?

    • Drew Miner

      not even smug Ted Cruz?

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    I think Rand Paul and Trump are hate fucking on a regular basis.

  • Joshua Norton

    “Obama is at fault, not my brother, because Obama didn’t clean up the mess my brother made.”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Hercules had it easy with the Augean Stables.

    • glasspusher

      well, in fairness to W, he inherited a budget surplus

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Just home from the salt mines, sober as a judge. Think I’ma let the nasty vile little snark mob guide me through this one.

    • willi0000000

      puke in a jar . . . watch it . . . no different

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …still waiting on some hot Trump on Christy action!!!

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      Bad hair… fat… sweat…eeeeew.

    • Drew Miner

      that’s later on the pay per view

    • Beaumarchais?

      It better not be the other way around, or there’ll be a manslaughter charge.

  • JMP

    Ad: How can they have Magneto playing Steve Jobs when Aston Kutcher already gave the definitive performance?

  • superdave

    That guy looks and sounds nothing like Steve Jobs.

  • Serolf Divad

    I think it’s cute how they give Ben Carson a chance to speak every now and then.

    • data_ninja

      He speaks so well!

    • Skwerl King

      And then tells him to shut up because Trump has something to say.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      Equal opportunity!

    • That’s him, not Bill Cosby, on the back of the lion.

    • Pat_Pending

      “Ben, it doesn’t matter what you say or do, you’re still the house n*****, and we don’t like Blahs.”

  • MilwaukeeKent

    Does this thing LOOK as insane as it sounds on the radio? I have to wait for clips (sad).

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Insaner.

      • Skwerl King

        Exponentially insane!

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Radio? Where on the radio?

      • MilwaukeeKent

        Insane talker WISN 1130, can live stream, wholly owned by Wisconsin GOP.

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          Darn, I’m close to WI but apparently not quite close enough

          • MilwaukeeKent

            Found it somewhere, right? Thought I saw comment you were streaming audio…

    • jmk

      You’re missing all the hatefilled looks… it’s like a junior high school yearbook committee meeting.

    • Lot_49

      Looks like a swim meet for old fat guys in suits.

  • Metadude

    I am so drunking fuck! 9/11 was my drinky word.

    • Pat_Pending

      Didn’t you read the safety rules???? Only drink when there’s a truth spoken!

  • timpundit

    Time to hose off Christie…

  • LarkintheAM

    OK. It’s apparent that I’m going to get spectacularly drunk if I play the Wonkette drinking game, and I can’t afford to miss work tomorrow. But if I only drink when they have something of substance to say, I’ll stay sober and that’s not acceptable. What to do?

  • timpundit

    I don’t need no stinking rules to drink

  • TheBidenator

    Trump is gonna bitch slap Rand Paul during the break, we’ll come back and suddenly his place will be empty.

    • sw19womble

      Clint Eastwood will be standing by the empty podium.

  • Darthhippy

    I like how they stopped calling on Kasic after his defense of helping the poors

  • Callyson

    Oh fuck, they’re back.

    • HIDE!

      • Msgr_Moment

        Hide your silverware!

    • Jukesgrrl

      [OFF-TOPIC] Callyson, Jerome Bettis is getting his Hall of Fame gold jacket on the NFL channel. That circus is almost as silly as this debate. It makes the Nobel Prize presentation look modest in comparison.

      • Callyson

        Glad to hear that The Bus is getting well-deserved recognition. And here’s hoping our Steelers can remember that early games matter too, so that they improve their playoff position and don’t have to play the early game when they have a key player out with an injury!

        /hope all is well with you BTW

        • Jukesgrrl

          And here’s hoping that knock on the head Ben got in the last 2014 game didn’t set back the progress he’s been making as a sober person. Things are OK here. Mom continues to struggle & taking care of her can be, well, boring … but other than that I’m fine.

  • Walter Wellstone

    Just came back from having some really nice sushi and cold unfiltered sake. How’s this thing shaping up, gang?

    • Callyson

      Let’s just say I hope you got a bottle of sake to go.

    • jmk

      It’s a shitshow

    • Lot_49

      Trump endorsed single-payer health insurance: Medicare for all!

    • LarkintheAM

      Incoherent.

    • data_ninja

      It’s like a bunch of hyenas having rough sex on top of a dead zebra. So, you know, as expected.

    • Walker killed a guy with a trident.

    • smr06va

      It’s like a bad frat party……

    • Left Coast Tom

      By the time you read any answers there’ll be 50 new comments posted…just drink…

    • Usedtobeyellerdawg

      Drunk. Really drunk.

    • Usedtobeyellerdawg

      And by the way, the rest of us have been digesting something fishy also, too.

  • Suse

    The next hour?

  • natoslug

    The debate hasn’t gone too poorly, in my opinion. Granted, I skipped tuning into the debate and went straight to drinking.

  • Steverino247

    Change up? What is this, baseball season?

  • Msgr_Moment

    ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬Laugh about it
    Shout about it
    When you’ve got to choose
    Anyway you look at it you lose.♩ ♪ ♫ ♬

  • Pat_Pending

    Is it the first of the ‘Says You’ bluffing rounds?

  • timpundit

    Jesus Christ you are the fastest one-handed posters I’ve ever seen.

  • willi0000000

    now we ask only the important people stuff!

  • Callyson

    “You know Hillary will be a ball buster–what are you going to do about that?”

    You go, moderator…

  • Lot_49

    Did they fix Christie’s hair during the break?

  • TheBidenator

    Fox News: “Hillary is a cunt, how will you handle her being a cunt?”

    • Beowoof14

      But she is a cunt who won’t take any shit from you guys.

  • Steverino247

    Hillary isn’t the nominee yet. She only leads Bernie by 4% in New Hampshire.

  • jmk

    Kasich’s Humble Beginnings – DRINK!

    • Lot_49

      His father was one of those civil servants takers on a government payroll.

  • Skwerl King

    “my father was a mailman?” WTF?

    • jmk

      He’s a man of the people…

  • Serolf Divad

    10 Candidates on the stage selected according to their kraaayze

  • r m reddicks

    Hard to figure who’s odder. The mods? The other fools?

  • Beaumarchais?

    Yes, children of mailmen know how the economy works.

    • sw19womble

      letters come in, letters go out, you can’t explain it!

  • willi0000000

    daddy was a mailbag!
    -kasich

  • Steverino247

    Some of whom have problems with junk mail from assholes like me.

  • Blender_415

    MAILMAN LIBEL!

    • data_ninja

      We’ll fix it in Post.

      • Msgr_Moment

        Fuck it! We’ll do it live!

  • JohnR

    Now Wallace is coaching the candidates LOL! What the fuck does your Dad being a Postal Carrier have to do with anything?

  • Jeez – they are not even remotely pretending this is any kind of serious debate, are they?

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Chris Wallace says they’re asking about some subjects “in depth.” Hahahaha!

    • willi0000000

      well they are in deep shit

  • TheBidenator

    John Kasich: “My father was a mailman therefore you help the poor by cutting taxes for the rich”

  • Callyson

    Um, Kasich honey? That surplus you mention happened on Clinton’s watch and was pissed away under W.

    You’re welcome.

    /FFS

  • Ricky Gay

    not a sane person in that venue. Maybe Kasich but who?

  • Ex dente leonem

    Kasich, doing important outreach to the shadow people

  • Jukesgrrl

    Did Trump pay all his wedding guests? Must be a thing. I think Rush does, too.

  • Vegan and Tiara

    “My dad worked for the federal government.” Kasich just lost again. First helping the poor, and now this.

    • Rick Hill

      Too bad he doesn’t add: “So I know the type of people I want to help screw over are just like my family and I would throw them all under the bus for a chance at some sweeet sweet Koch teat.”

      • Vegan and Tiara

        The Koch’s balls must be the rawest, most chafed balls in the world. All that licking has to be irritating at some point.

  • Rick Hill

    You don’t answer the important questions!!1! Did Trump have his own special made podium brought out and did he come on stage like a WWE combatant or was he just in a litter carried by oiled Nubians?

    • Jukesgrrl

      He came in riding a lion. Didn’t you see the photo?

  • Serolf Divad

    Hillary and her vagina dentata are going to rip you to shreds!

  • Villago Delenda Est

    ZOMG Kaisch is sounding like FDR! Get the garlic and wooden stakes!

    • LarkintheAM

      That MoFo is my governor, and he’s no FDR.

  • Beaumarchais?

    And Kasich is the adult in this room.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      That’s pathetic. It speaks of the stupidty of the field.

      Useful idiot Ben Carson is now attacking Hillary.

  • Steverino247

    We’re not a miracle, we’re a democracy.

  • jmk

    Ohhhh Bennie, you shit the bed in fear of her, and you know it.

    And there’s the Alinsky reference I was waiting for… time for a shot.

  • TheBidenator

    Ben Carson: “I will enjoy losing to Hillary…” otherwise, ZZZZZZ

  • CripesAmighty

    “How do you move the country into the future?”

    “My Dad was a mailman”.

    Whu?

  • Pat_Pending

    Trump versus Sanders 2016. Boy, will that be HI-lar…

  • Spurning Beer

    Alinsky was a SUPER model, Benny.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Carson, again sounds slow, stumbling and complains about other people being stupid.

    • Msgr_Moment

      Concussions from his boxing career.

  • Lot_49

    Saul Alinsky finally makes an appearance. DRINK!

  • Steverino247

    Carson wants Bernie? What a maroon!

  • Serolf Divad

    The Amiracle

  • Reddishrabbit

    ALINSKY!

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    God my house is a mess. Wait, what were we talking about?

  • timpundit

    KasichMentum!

  • handyhippie65

    my link died, my link died! oh the humanity!

  • willi0000000

    Alinski . . . DRINK!

  • JohnR

    The media arm of the T-GOP is coaching Alinsky- drink the candidates

  • Callyson

    Dr C doubts that Hillary will be the Dem nominee? And he managed to work in a Saul Alinsky reference?

    Honey, it isn’t 2008 anymore…

  • Pat_Pending

    Alinsky? Seriously, Ben?

  • CripesAmighty

    Alinsky. Bingo space.

  • Fun with Cthulhu

    John Kasich wants the vampire vote.

  • kaw143

    Economic growth is the key! And poor people are the keyhole! If we apply the key and turn it as many times as we can, profit!

  • Beaumarchais?

    Oh, Ben, you’re wrong. People are stupid. This debate is proof.

    • JMP

      The fact that that incomprehensible word salad got cheers was proof.

  • TheBidenator

    Ben Carson has been hanging out with Glenn Beck for too long….Jesus.

  • JMP

    Does Carson even know what he’s trying to talk about – other than “bad things are progressives’ fault?”

    • Lot_49

      Let’s all tithe. And no deductions for charitable contributions. Ha ha ha, this guy knows as much about government as Christie does about brain surgery.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      He’s stupid as hell. I’d like to see the results on some of his patients.

  • Lot_49

    These people are an embarrassment to the memory of Ronald Raven.

  • Steverino247

    Carson is barkinig mad.

  • Beowoof14

    Hey Ben you just recited what W did. Go back to sleep

  • jmk

    Oh, if you were trying to destroy this country, Bennie? You mean you’re not, you smug fuckstick?

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Ben, if you educate people they turn into liberals. duh.

  • timpundit

    ‘c’mon ‘domestic terrist’.

  • Reddishrabbit

    Just need Bengahzi!!!!1!!1!!!!1!!!!!1!! to complete my bingo card…

  • Serolf Divad

    Ben Carson knows that Gary Hart is going to be the nominee.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Adlai Stevenson, I’d think…

  • r m reddicks

    alinsky via Carson. One sip for Carson one sip for Hillary who can’t spell Alinsky any longer.

  • sw19womble

    When’s the next ad break? I’m almost out of san pellegrino and i need to pee soooo badly!

  • Mormos

    Ben Carson unveils his plan to destroy America

    • Rick Hill

      Strangely similar to the rest of the candidate’s plans….

  • Callyson

    4% economic growth…yeah, run that promise by any economist and watch the laughter…

  • TheBidenator

    Fox News: “Your brother was a shitty president and you’re a liar, how will you not fuck America over?”

  • smr06va

    It’s all about the buzz words…………

  • Blender_415

    Carson is kicking all their lily-white butts.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …yes JEB! tell us haw we all need to worker longer and harder!

  • Beowoof14

    You sent the jobs to China you asshole

  • CripesAmighty

    We need 4 percent growth to give to the rich ( they’re only getting 2 now) .Natch.

  • Reddishrabbit

    Imagine if you could start a new business without worrying about having insurance. That makes sense.

  • timpundit

    Bush looks like the ceramic boxer bobble head some people have .

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Income is growing GREAT for the 1%. It’s the other 99% who are not seeing this.

  • Ricky Gay

    Ben Carson is a contemporary version of which barber do you chose in a 2 barber (brain surgeon) town. So I guess he wins?

  • JohnR

    Replace O Care with something….

  • Beaumarchais?

    Thanks, Obama, for making more poor people!

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Jeb doubles down on his dumb growth promise, even though Chris Wallace dissed him. Getting medium applause.

  • sillyclucker

    Well, it’s getting late. Gonna have to watch the rest of this without my contacts.

    • kaw143

      You could watch the rest of it without your ears and not miss much…

    • AncienReggie

      That’s a mistake. Megyn isn’t wearing panties …

      • sillyclucker

        I’ve seen scum covered ponds before.

  • BaddTicker

    Jeb is not the smart one.

    • Reddishrabbit

      Compared to W, maybe.
      Compared to most people, yeah, not the smart one.

  • Callyson

    Energy revolution? Um, Jeb!, it’s *your* side that is dragging its ass on renewables FFS…

  • Beowoof14

    For the XL pipeline fuck Ogalalla Aquifier.

  • JMP

    Regulations don’t kill jobs, idiot.

    • Anarchy Pony

      When they say jobs, they mean profits.

  • morON, WISCONSIN!

  • willi0000000

    Obamacare out, keystone pipeline in . jeb!

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …”KEYSTONE PIPELINE!!!”

    DRINK!!!

  • Serolf Divad

    Bush is going to destroy 1/3 less jobs than his brother and dad.

  • Pat_Pending

    Man, Jeb! just sucks. I can see why they ran Shrub in 2000.

  • Msgr_Moment

    Where did they find these stupid people?

    • Rick Hill

      I would go with: They waved a wad of twenties on a street corner.

  • “I’m able to aim high AND low at the same time.”

    – Gov. Walker

  • TheBidenator

    Chris Wallace: “Scott Walker, you’re a fucking lying imbecile….”
    Walker: “Is that a question? I will now begin lying”

  • Joshua Norton

    Kasich with the same tired old trickle down BS. Dude, your schtick is so outdated it’s wearing a Nehru jacket!

  • JohnR

    I think my lap top is over heating, taking a break, play nice, scratch that play dirty.

  • Zippy

    Where’s the 250,000 jobs, Scotty?

    • Beaumarchais?

      In Minnesota?

      • Rick Hill

        Jinx!

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      In Minnesota

      • Beaumarchais?

        Is there an echo in here?

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Just great minds nearly synchronized.

  • Beowoof14

    Hey you didn’t create any of those jobs. They were created by Obama.

  • Blender_415

    NEED AN OVERHEAD SHOT OF WALKER’S BALD SPOT – stat!

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Scott Walker is a dope. Wisconsin is a mess.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Now Walker gets roasted on job growth. Walker just lies about it. He’s a stumbling orator. Gets mild applause.

    • Spurning Beer

      He throws out a bunch of rapid fire numbers, and everybody forgets that stinging question.

  • ZangoCrudmonger

    Oh, this is where the word orgy is. Let me get rid of these pants.

  • smr06va

    Walker is so full of shit…………

    • Wesley2006

      Walker IS shit.

  • GenuineClass

    I wish someone would actually articulate their Obamacare alternative.

    • timpundit

      LMAO

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      The Benghazi committee is working on it.

    • Toomush_Infer

      For the Win!…

    • Mehmeisterjr

      If wishes were fishes we would already have Fishcare.

    • Zippy

      yeah, that’s gonna happen

    • Human Leaving

      “Poor people stop being pussies and just die without complaining about it so I can go buy another Range Rover.”

    • Anarchy Pony

      Fun fact, obamacare is the repub alternative, it’s derived from a fucking heritage foundation plan and is almost the same as mittcare the romney implemented when he was gov in mass.
      They just hate that his name is on it.

  • Lot_49

    More TRUMP TIME, pleeeeze!

    • r m reddicks

      I like the understated Carson inanity. At least a nice juxtaposition. There are no Byron the Lightbulbs on that stage. Neither asking nor answering.

  • Callyson

    Um, Scott honey? The reason the counties near the nation’s capital are so wealthy has more to do with the money being shoveled to lobbyists for corporate interests than with government jobs FFS…

    • Lot_49

      Don’t forget contractors! Maryland got life sciences, Virginia got death science.

  • BMW

    Wow…Jon Stewart picked the wrong day to retire.

  • willi0000000

    scotty’s threatening us with Wisconsin for everybody

  • Charles Cates

    Duh.

  • Christie and Huckabee make a cute couple.

    • LarkintheAM

      Ewwww.

  • lowenufc

    So what Walker wants to do is make the rest of the country a Koch Paradise?

    • willi0000000

      paradise for the kochs . . . yes

    • Walter Wellstone

      He wants to make us all kochsuckers.

  • Vegan and Tiara

    “Washington DC is one of the wealthiest areas of the country, because government doesn’t create jobs.” Wow, that’s fucking brilliant.

  • Usedtobeyellerdawg

    Wait. Did whoever that fuck is just say the government doesn’t create jobs? Me and my government job object.

    • AncienReggie

      See. This is why we can’t have nice roads.

  • dvlaries

    Walters looks like she accidentally had her fingers in an ashtray, then rubbed her eyes.

  • Charles Cates

    I’m the only person on this stage who . . .

  • TheBidenator

    Chris Christy will raid social security like Winnie the Pooh raids a pot of honey…..

    • Zippy

      yup, grab that third rail and hold tight!

    • smr06va

      Snacks cost money………

  • Charles Cates

    I’m 61 just don’t fuck with it.

  • Walter Wellstone

    Has Trump told any of the others to go fuck themselves yet?

    • Skwerl King

      Rand Paul and him are getting ready to do it.

  • Reddishrabbit

    Some are living better lives.
    A lot are not.

  • Wesley2006

    Will somebody please liven things up by throwing a piece of dwarf star matter at Walker?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Or a bunch of shoes.

  • Pat_Pending

    Christie isn’t *actually* eliminating Social Security? Just fucking with it? Drink!

  • Charles Cates

    Ahem, you mean EARNED BENEFIT, not entitlement.

  • valgalky23

    Huck manslpains to Christie…….

  • Steverino247

    Means testing Social Security? I can get behind that, but the system’s not failing.

  • timpundit

    Isn’t the green band suppose to be in his stomach? I think I see the problem…

  • Callyson

    IDK, Christie might be saying something sensible* but I can’t get past that fugly tie.

    * And there might be life on Mars also too. It COULD happen!!!

  • Beowoof14

    Oh the fair tax, can you say European VAT Tax.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      European? How DARE you mention Europe in a GOP debate? Those surrender monkeys will never be our equals.

  • DustBowlBlues

    Walker turning us into Wisconsin is as appealing as Brownback turning us into Kansas. Fuckers

    • AncienReggie

      But with more cheese.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Anyone else notice that the applause has slowly becoming less and less enthusiastic?

    • It’s past the audience’s bedtime.

      • Monsieur_Grumpe

        Or reality setting in.

  • jmk

    Shut up fuck you Huck

  • TheBidenator

    Huckabee: “You see governor, you fry a squirrel in a pan and then ya eat it…that’s how you fix social security, liberals are bad and I came here with a bible shoved up my ass”

  • “I’m against second-hand pocket pool.”

    – Gov. Huckabee

  • Vegan and Tiara

    Huckabee: “everyone is living off of Social Security, so let’s get rid of it!”

  • Charles Cates

    And no more bean soup!

  • Lot_49

    Disqust is starting to break down under the strain of 810 + 29 comments

  • Villago Delenda Est

    The system is screwed up only inside your feeble skull, Hucksterbee.

  • A Christie Drinking Game: Take a swig every time he says “I’m the only guy on this stage who..”.

  • Pat_Pending

    I really wanna kill Hucky. With votes.

    • jmk

      So hard…

  • jmk

    Social Security is “stealing”???

    • kaw143

      Of course it is. Probably done by those illegals Messico is sending here.

  • Callyson

    Um, Huckabee? I don’t keep paychecks in my pocket in the first place, so I am pretty sure the government is not reaching into it. Thanks for asking, though!

    • Left Coast Tom

      In fact, aren’t paychecks mostly electronic bits at this point? Who gets paper anymore?

  • Beowoof14

    Privatize Social Security like Australia ask them how it went.

  • Charles Cates

    That’s what religion is for.

  • Steverino247

    Huck wants to do what?

    Huck knows about lying and stealing.

  • timpundit

    Well, Huckabee is out.

  • Msgr_Moment

    Pity the factcheckers.

    • MilwaukeeKent

      It’s going to be that SNL “Fox & Friends” disclaimer roll, only sped up.

    • Lot_49

      Ha ha, “facts.” Like they matter.

    • kaw143

      I will drink to their memory. Uh, yeah. That’s why I’m drinking.

    • Left Coast Tom

      I’m pretty sure the “Fox” sign indicates a fact-free zone.

    • LarkintheAM

      What are these fact checkers you speak of?

  • GenuineClass

    Get out of my paycheck but let me keep my grubby hands up in your vagina.

    • It’s God’s purse!

      • bozilingus

        But it looks like a sow’s ear?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      That’s pretty much the deal with Hucksterbee.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    The lying and stealing is taking place on Wall Street.

  • Mormos

    Huckabee endorses no retirement program, YOLO!

  • Beowoof14

    Reagan started stealing from the trust fund.

  • Charles Cates

    I say put it all on Powerball.

  • Toomush_Infer

    Hey, it’s back live…ew Huck….

  • Lot_49

    Huck says tax cap gains and dividends for pimps!

  • Zippy

    Pimps and drug dealers!

  • Charles Cates

    Even lawyers.

  • Msgr_Moment

    W4s for whores!

  • jmk

    Oh my god Huckabee is an asshole.

    • Walter Wellstone

      We know.

      • jmk

        Sometimes it just bursts out of you…

  • Pat_Pending

    OH FFS!!! Tax the pimps and hookers!!!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Hucksterbee is a cretin. No, that’s incorrect. He’s a nincowpoop.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    The people who are freeloading off the system are the 1%.

  • Beowoof14

    I am sure Huck knows a few Pimps it’s how he gets laid.

  • Skwerl King

    Freeloading prostitutes.

  • Spurning Beer

    Tax whore diamonds!

  • Charles Cates

    Mr. Trump, you’ve fucked a lot of whores . . .

  • maman

    MAKE THE WHORES PAY!!!

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Jeez, how long is this thing?

    (And the first person who says “that’s what your mom asked” loses)

    Oh wait, that’s me.

  • Beaumarchais?

    The system was designed with IOUs, and it continue forever with IOUs, if you understood the idea of generational transfer.

  • CripesAmighty

    “IOU’s” = T Bills–the world’s most liquid security.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Chris Wallace seems to have taken over. Brett Baier is just sitting on his ass and cackling.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Tax the pimps. What a windfall, eh?

    • Reddishrabbit

      Some one watched too many O’Keefe’s videos.

    • Steverino247

      Huck better have my money.

  • Reddishrabbit

    Pimps and whores, no idea they were such a drag on the government. They always seemed like they were working.

  • Callyson

    Ooooh, the bitchslap between Christie and Huckabee was also fun. I still think the Trump/Paul bitchslap was the best, though…

  • Blender_415

    Oh hell yes pimps and prostitutes! Shower with the high school girls! King Perv for Prez!

  • Steverino247

    So, let’s tax capital gains and stop having a limit at the top end for SS purposes. Everybody pays the same rate and no cap. Done.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      Tax capital gains? What are you, a communist? Get a job at a hedge fund, hippie.

  • timpundit

    Pimp??? I think that’s a first.

  • shastakoala

    When’s somebody gonna jump out and yell, “Live, it’s Saturday night!”

  • Charles Cates

    Everyone loves me.

  • DustBowlBlues

    Let’s just all kill ourselves if any of these clowns win. Anyone know the monthly $ needed to live in Costa Rica?

  • TheBidenator

    Jesus, Christy just trotted out a Bushism about social security being full of IOU’s…are you fucking kidding me? Go away fat man

  • jmk

    I hope Donnie didn’t hurt himself, patting himself on the back like that.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    You Lie!!!!!!!!!!

  • Charles Cates

    Your dad was a wise-ass too.

  • Suttree

    Gah! Pimps and prostitutes are stealing my money! Oh right I give it to them by choice.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    From what I can gather, the candidates seem drunker than y’all.

    • jmk

      Not possible… they’re all still upright.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Let me know when the horizontal segment of the debate begins.

    • Christopher Boscarino

      I was hoping for more “Benghazi!”, *that* would get me there.

  • Callyson

    Trump claims he has never gone bankrupt? Four fucking times you’ve declared business bankruptcy,m asshole, as any Google search will tell you…

  • GenuineClass

    Trump: I’m awesome!!

  • Spurning Beer

    But declare bankruptcy one time….

  • LarryHoudini

    Try and remove the economic causes that make Islamic extremism appealing? HA HA ARE YOU A ASSHOLE WE JUST NEED TO MOW THOSE TOWELHEADS DOWN, EVEN IF CHRONIC UNEMPLOYMENT AND LACK OF OPPORTUNITY WILL SIMPLY BREED TWO MORE JIHADISTS FOR EVERY ONE WE KILL!!!
    (OT: how in the fuck do you cap lock on an iPad? Never mind, will googer it. And yeah, sorry this was relating to a comment from 45 minutes ago.)
    ETA: DOUBLE TAP THE SHIFT KEY FOR CAP LOCK!!!! THANKS, GOOGER!!!

  • Zippy

    Trump- everyone else lies cheats and steals too!

  • Ex dente leonem

    “I’ve taken advantage of the suckers who invested in my businesses like any smart guy would do.”

  • Biff52

    This guy again?

    STAHP IT WITH THE AUTO-UPDATES!

  • DustBowlBlues

    How is Trumpism going to play? Shit. You can sure tell that Ailes doesn’t like Trump.

    • Human Leaving

      Actually I’ve heard Ailes loves him. It’s ol’ Roooooopert that hates him and is pushing for Jeb!.

  • Vegan and Tiara

    Lenders to my company are losers!

  • Charles Cates

    It’s the fuckin’ banks!

  • data_ninja

    4 times he’s gotten the laws drunk and did horrible, horrible things.

  • TheBidenator

    Fox News: “You’re a shitty businessman who goes broke all the time, why do you suck?”

    Trump: “Fuck you, no one calls me anything but YOOGE and CLASSY”

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …I didn’t think it was possible, but Chris Wallace actually makes Trump seem likable

  • Reddishrabbit

    The world of make believe, d/b/a as Fox News

  • Paperless Tiger

    Trump is confessing to all kinda crimes. This is great.

  • SheriffRoscoe

    Screw the banks!

  • CripesAmighty

    Taken advantage of the laws to leave everybody else holding the bag.

  • Laffing Crow

    Yes, yes. We want to know the true! Preach it! Preach it!

  • Callyson

    God, Trump just looks like an asshole. Not sure if that will help him or hurt him in the polls…

    • CripesAmighty

      With this rabble? Sky’s the limit.

  • Toomush_Infer

    You’re living in a world of make-believe, Chris…

  • kaw143

    Trumo: I don’t know nothin’ ’bout declarin’ no bankruptcy!

  • Usedtobeyellerdawg

    Short fingered vulgarian says what?

  • maman

    Atlantic CIty is crap! Ask Christie!

  • Zippy

    They were stupid enough to trust me

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “You fucked up! You trusted us!”

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Trump blusters his way through to big applause again.

  • Charles Cates

    I wrung the money out of that town like you can’t believe.

    • GenuineClass

      This made me howl with laughter.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …HAHAHAHA! Cheap shot at Christie!!!

  • ZangoCrudmonger

    Shorter Trump – I’ve yooosed the laws. Youse looose.

  • DensityDestiny

    Trump can’t keep his shit together and be respectful or even a grown-up during the debates. How would anyone think that he should represent our country out in the world?

  • Spurning Beer

    We”ll declare bankruptcy! Problem solved!

    • Beaumarchais?

      Won’t China be surprised!

  • Shorter Trump: Those lenders were YOOOOOGE JOOOOOS.

  • Beaumarchais?

    And THAT’s about all Americans know about bankruptcy.

  • Mormos

    Trump: I’m really good at getting out of bubbles before they burst, and I’m proud of that.

  • Serolf Divad

    Mike Huckabee is going to fund Social Security with whore dollars. Do we even really need the charade of an election now? Say it with me: president Huckabee, baby!

  • Charles Cates

    He’s clean and articulate.

  • Beowoof14

    Economy today was lead out of the doldrums by Obama.

  • Poor Rubio is looking like an old Sesame Street ‘Ernie’ muppet with no hand up its ass. :(

    • jmk

      The sad thing is that he looks like less of a dick than almost anyone else up there.

  • Callyson

    OK, as a small business owner I fear the answer to the question “what would you do to help small business” FFS…

    • Anarchy Pony

      Have them get acquired and gutted.

  • Steverino247

    Trump is doing well because he’s used to running beauty contests.

    • Lot_49

      If Carly were a candidate, would he buy her some fake boobs and a better facelift?

  • Beowoof14

    What Marco doesn’t know about the tax code is stunning.

  • Reddishrabbit

    God, Rubio is sooooo boooooring after Trump.

  • Steverino247

    Limit the regulations? Ever heard of Enron?

    • willi0000000

      depends . . . does he read all the checks he cashes

    • James Christopher Owen

      Glass-Steagall?

  • willi0000000

    “that’s a great question” . . . translation . . . “i can spin this”

  • Skwerl King

    small banks?

    • Steverino247

      They do exist. They usually serve their communities well.

      • Reddishrabbit

        And normally not affected by Dod-Franks as much.

  • Beaumarchais?

    Stop regulating the banks!!!

    • Reddishrabbit

      They only had one economic disaster! Recently.

  • Lot_49

    Rubio says Dodd Frank is hurting small business. Dodd-Frank has nothing to do with small business.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Rubio has no fucking idea what he’s talking about.

  • Beowoof14

    Yes Dodd Frank wiped out those banks, not criminal lending practices. Asshole.

  • DustBowlBlues

    Why has this fucking ad taken over my computer and how the fuck do I make it go away?

  • kaw143

    With all of this hot air, has the venue started to float, yet?

    • Anarchy Pony

      No, but it is definitely worsening global warming.

  • Charles Cates

    And bring back Crystal Pepsi

    • data_ninja

      RIGHT NOW!!! There’s no tomorrow!

    • kaw143

      You’ve got my vote! Because I love bad ideas!

  • Toomush_Infer

    Softball to Rubio….can he catch it? He does!….Surprise!…Replace Dodd-Frank!…

    • Beowoof14

      Unless you know something about the economy then he sounded like a dope.

  • Callyson

    WHAT? Um, Marco, Dodd-Frank has had exactly zero impact on my small business FFS…

  • Buckle-up, y’all — this Iran shit should be good.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Trump will either win the debate or be indicted, hard to tell.

  • Blender_415

    Dodd Frank is the worst porn name EVER.

  • Zippy

    Repeal Dodd Frank

    DRINK!

  • timpundit

    BoooBama!

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Rick Perry makes a guest appearance and so does Carly!

  • Pat_Pending

    Aww, a callback to Perry and Carly. How sweet.

    • Reddishrabbit

      Was that those who left us this year clip?

  • Msgr_Moment

    When is the time when Liz storms onstage and truthsplains at these idjits?

    • NellCote71

      Not soon enough.

  • Steverino247

    Carla would run everything into the ground.

    • sw19womble

      So, no unique selling point?

    • data_ninja

      On the plus side, we’d get rid of a third of the states. Probably not the ones we’d want though.

  • Joshua Norton

    Trump: I have the solid experience to bankrupt America.

  • “Walker? Hell, I ran ‘er!”

  • Vegan and Tiara

    Rick Perry and Carly Fiorina, still stupid!

  • Charles Cates

    Iran produces Nickelback.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Carly knows as much about the middle east as she does about running Hewlett Packard.

  • Mayor_Quimby

    What kind of fucking nerd was Walker worrying about hostages when he was 6?

  • Skwerl King

    But Ronnie dealer with them.

  • Beowoof14

    Yes, let’s never let go of an almost 35 year old event.

  • Steverino247

    Yellow ribbons?

    • Skwerl King

      It was a thing in ’79.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Yes. By all means, we should equate our hostages with a guy who just got out of prison. Tie a Yellow Ribbon ’round the Old Oak Tree.

  • TheBidenator

    Rubio: “We help small businesses by cutting taxes on big corporations”

  • Josh Raeburn

    I guess Trump won’t be getting New Jersey’s electoral votes. Feel the love Garden State.

    • Mayor_Quimby

      “Look at that place, glad I left that shithole!” – Trump just now.

  • jmk

    WTF?? EyeRan? Walker, get the fuck out of national politics, you fucking rube.

    • CripesAmighty

      if you pronounce it correctly, you’re a ‘pointy headed in-tye-lek-shul’. Immediately suspect.

  • Toomush_Infer

    Oh, this is just a series of FAUX Sound bites – the Fiorina thing was totally planned – this is just strategy…

    • Zippy

      REALITY TEEVEE

  • Beaumarchais?

    Yellow ribbons—those actually worked!

  • Steverino247

    Obama/Clinton doctrine?

    • Zippy

      double secret probation

  • timpundit

    Walker is Tony Orlando now.

  • Rand Paul’s California accent is abysmal.

  • Usedtobeyellerdawg

    Does anyone else then Carly Fiorina looks like Cruella DeVille?

  • kaw143

    He tied a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree, but its been six long years, and no one wants you anymore.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Reagan! Drink!

  • Reddishrabbit

    Walker: Our allies would come back even after they said they were done, this was the final deal. So, basically, fuck our allies, I’m Walker and I can treat them like unions.

  • DustBowlBlues

    Not Carly negotiating for us. She’ll just pay too much for Compaq. And uncle, I’ve had it. If that–that’s it. I can’t listen to that goddamed ad all night.

    • Marie Watkins Crocker

      I had to give up ten minutes ago. I heart those feels.

  • willi0000000

    yellow ribbon, scotty? . . . now that’s a reach-back

  • Walker keeps making that weird “This is how big my Canadian Girlfriend’s goombowahs are!” gesture with his hands.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Yoooooge…tracts of land!

  • TheBidenator

    Scott Walker: “We bomb everyone because yellow ribbon and I’m an asshole”

  • Christopher Boscarino

    Well, technically Trump is right. He was never bankrupt, because when he filed he hid his money so he wouldn’t have to pay his ex wife, Ivanna

  • Beowoof14

    Reagan negotiated with the Iranians. Rand you’re an asshole.

  • JohnR

    Rand = snotty, little, bastard. Bong Hit

  • Ricky Gay

    Trump is in yer malt shop drinkin’ your milkshakes

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Rand Paul has no business negotiating a fucking thing.

  • Charles Cates

    That’s not diplomacy.

  • Callyson

    So, because crap went down nearly 40 years ago, we should not do business with a country that we has issues with? I eagerly await Scottie’s critique of Iran-Contra then…

    • maman

      Logic will not win the GOP Primary missy!

    • Lot_49

      Thank goodness we don’t do any business with those evil communists in China.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    Carly Fiorina. Just realized who she reminds me of: Cruella de Vil

    • Reddishrabbit

      But Cruella de Vil was a better businesswomen.

      • Vegan and Tiara

        ,,,and WAY more stylish.

  • Charles Cates

    And he’s always bowing to foreigners!

  • Zippy

    We got NOTHING!

  • GenuineClass

    Say oven, huckabee!! You know you want to.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      His safe word is “Duggar.”

  • JohnR

    Huckster = snort some cinnamon

  • Paperless Tiger

    Walker will defeat the two major threats, ISIS and teachers.

    • maman

      ISIS runs madrassas which are schools, who employ teachers. Mike drop

  • Beowoof14

    Oh Huck , check the deal they got everything you called for in your 2008 article.

  • Blender_415

    REAGAN. Chug!

  • Charles Cates

    They now own the Rangers.

  • jviscont1

    4 Reagan mentions before I could pour 2 shots.

  • TheBidenator

    That bible Huck has shoved up his ass is affecting what little brains he has…

  • Steverino247

    Reagan gave weapons for hostages, so fuck your yellow ribbons.

  • timpundit

    Here’s the Reagan money shot.

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      gaaaaaaagggghherphhhhtttt!

      • Monsieur_Grumpe

        I should write porn film dialog… no?

  • jmk

    The Buddha is soooo disappointed with me right now… I’m overwhelmed with the need to smack Huckabee…with votes.

  • Toomush_Infer

    Oh, Huck, who’s your sloganeer? He’s in the model airplane glue again…

  • Villago Delenda Est

    The Iranians are NOT a nuclear power, dumbshit.

    • willi0000000

      they have a nuclear power plant . . . so same thing

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Huckabee tries out a tag line. Pretty lame. His syntax is getting confused, finishes with a flourish, gets big applause.

  • Joshua Norton

    Oooooops! I forgot Marco Rubio was there.

    • Jukesgrrl

      He did, too.

  • Today, we all have loaded guns pointed at our heads.

  • Reddishrabbit

    AD DRINK

  • JohnR

    Time Out? Megyn Pole Dance?

  • Usedtobeyellerdawg

    Huck is wearing a blue tie. I smell a (demon)rat.

  • TheBidenator

    Here’s a rule we should all get behind: If you can’t pronounce Iran correctly, you’re not allowed to deal with Iran :lears at Huck and Scott Walker:

  • ImpureScience

    OMG my cranium…

    • Skwerl King

      I can’t take it any longer. Signing out.

      • ImpureScience

        Yup.

  • Charles Cates

    Social issues next?

    Hey this autoupdate is making me gyrate.

  • timpundit

    Huck snuff.

  • Serolf Divad

    Unlike Obummer, Reagan would have never given the Iranians weapons.

    • Beowoof14

      Well yeah he didn’t give them, he sold them and forwarded the cash to the Contras. So there is tht.

      • Zippy

        no, that other time when he gave them weapons to not release the hostages until after the election

  • Beaumarchais?

    The good news is that Jeb! and Scotty look pretty limp.

  • LarkintheAM

    I thought this was the Big Boys Club – holy Christ these people are fools.

  • Wesley2006

    If only Walker had used a yellow ribbon to hang himself from that fucking oak tree.

    • jmk

      With votes…of course.

  • Vegan and Tiara

    “Ronald Raven said ‘trust but verify’.” Was this before or after he armed the Iranians, Fuckabee?

  • Pat_Pending

    Where’s Carson? Bring back the Blah! In his case, literally blah.

    • Skwerl King

      He had his token time.

    • DustBowlBlues

      Bob Cesca’s podcast always plays a lullaby for Carson and Tara’s theme for Lindsay Graham. Carson’s manner is great–for a surgeon.

  • kaw143

    Oh, great. Social issues are next. I DID NOT BUY ENOUGH ALCOHOL!

    • jmk

      My god, I’m wondering if the cooking sherry will be enough to get me through.

      • kaw143

        I’m starting to think I need to wander out into the forest and just eat random things hoping they will be intoxicating.

    • data_ninja

      I can’t wait for the moral superiority!

  • ZangoCrudmonger

    I knew we should have held out for an Iranian pony.

    • Zippy

      Pssst. those are camels

  • Paperless Tiger

    Next the devious Iranians will want electricity. At least we got rid of that in Iraq.

  • Mayor_Quimby

    Ooooh. Numbers USA ad- We hate immigrants of all colors

  • DustBowlBlues

    It’s stopped. Huckabee knows fuckall about Iran and the deal. Fucking conservative clerics, jews and muslims alike, Bibi, the ersatz “Xian” right and, fuck it, homeschoolers will get the world blown up. Where’s that Daisy ad?

  • JohnR

    Is there cake and ice cream after?

    • willi0000000

      if they won’t bake for some of us i don’t think any of us should buy cake!

  • Callyson

    We got nothing? FFS, Huckabee, there are Republicans who have served as foreign policy advisors who are clamoring for us to take the Iran deal because it is so fucking good.

    Here, educate yourself, asshole…

    • Steverino247

      Indeed, it’s far better than expected.

    • ThePuckStopsHere

      Schumer announced tonight he’s out on the deal. I thought he had more integrity.

  • timpundit

    When’s the evening gown competition?

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      Christie in gown? Eeeerp!

    • kaw143

      So THAT’S why Santorum was relegated to the also-rans. No one wanted to go against him in the swimsuit competition. . .

  • Reddishrabbit

    How much longer? Not sure how many brain cells I want to kill tonight.

  • Mormos

    why do the republicans only use the words”science” and “due process” when it comes to attacking women?

  • lowenufc

    Tapping out. Don’t know if my head hurts from the derp or the bourbon.
    Or the beer. Or the bourbon and beer.
    Damn you all and your drinky games.

    • You shall be carried out on your shield, lowenufc.

      Godspeed.

    • LarkintheAM

      Definitely the derp. Alcohol is anesthetic until it wears off, and it can’t possibly have worn off this soon.

  • Serolf Divad

    I bet Huckabee is going to fund the Iran invasion with whore dollars.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Duggaring for Dollars – Huckabee 2016!

  • CripesAmighty

    Are we coming to the Jeebus part?

    • Charles Cates

      And the buttsechs and the dead babies and the 10 Commandments.

    • TheBidenator

      Yes there will now be Jebus and gay bashing by all of them….lots of chicken fucking to go.

  • Drew Miner

    Nighties guys, enjoy, and dont forget to hydrate hydrate hydrate in the morning!

  • Wendel

    The neurosturgeon is strangely mute.

    • willi0000000

      cut the wrong line.

    • Biff52

      Takes after his favorite Supreme Court Justice, maybe.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      He’s fishing for good answers.

  • timpundit

    Do the Fox News Dancers entertain them during commercials?

    • Toomush_Infer

      The rest of the FOX foxes are Round girls….

    • DustBowlBlues

      You should see what those ladies can do with a loofah.

  • Toomush_Infer

    This demon rum…whew!…they’re not making it easy on a poor Wonketeer…

  • smr06va

    I’ll take pandering douchebags for $1,000, Megyn………….

    • Spurning Beer

      Most of us are stuck on Potent Potables.

      • Me not sure

        Whuuuuh?

  • Wendel

    Need more Bibble talk.

  • maman

    I was having a day of sads on account of it being the 19th birthday of my daughter who died when she was 18. I think the GOP felt my pain and created this debate to make me smile again

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Oh god, I am so sorry. Blessed Be.

    • jmk

      Ohhhhh (((((maman)))))

    • Lot_49

      So sad. You’re brave to be here, and appreciated.

    • kaw143

      I am so sorry to hear it. You are wonderful for continuing to care, and sharing your voice.

    • NellCote71

      I am so sorry. I can’t even imagine.

    • maman you are loved. i wish you some peace.

      • maman

        I was generally ok. But I do thank the GOP for their assistance.

  • Callyson

    Just when I was regaining my stamina, they came back. Fuck.

    • Spotts1701

      It’s a marathon, not a sprint. Or in this case, more like a death march.

      • NellCote71

        Pass the Bataan.

  • jmk

    It’s GAWD TIME!!

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …alright well I’m gonna go to sleep. @CALLYSON you are in charge while I’m gone

    • Callyson

      I’m on it–thanks honey!

  • sw19womble

    I am on my sixth can of san pellegrino – going for pompelmo flavour to change it up a bit.

    • maman

      tasty

    • Suse

      I love the lemon flavor. Makes a good float with vanilla bean ice cream.

  • Charles Cates

    Uppity women?

  • Lot_49

    Yea, plant parenthood. Adopt an orchid!

  • TheBidenator

    Oh fuck, Planned Parenthood time…let’s dance, fucksticks!

  • MilwaukeeKent

    Governor Wallpaper from Wisconsin.

  • Charles Cates

    But how can we bring back those zygotes from the dead?

  • Hillary Clinton must be touching herself so much this evening.

  • Kathleen Ryan Anderson

    tight the clinch we’re in for a bucking……….

  • jviscont1

    next up: 10 men pee on PP

  • Charles Cates

    He didn’t say anything about eating flesh.

  • Zippy

    I hate planned parenthood more than you!

  • Steverino247

    As Governor, I fucked with the family of a brain dead woman.

    • Zippy

      for a decade

    • Biff52

      Too bad he didn’t know Ben Carson then!

    • Metadude

      Well, he had experience with Jar Jar Bush.

  • Ex dente leonem

    Terri Schiavo!

  • Paperless Tiger

    Blame Bloomberg. Excellent.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    The culture of life…with a stand your ground law. Right.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Je! admits he sat on the Bloomberg board without actually doing anything but collect a fee. That’s what we need in the White House.

  • Charles Cates

    And we ruined lives doing so.

  • leaknoil

    Awsome stream that give Fox no ratings https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqafQVNkyN4

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Sky is owned by Murdoch, too.

      • leaknoil

        Well yea but, I doubt the youtube channel does much.

  • Beaumarchais?

    Jeb! was selling fetus parts? He always looked like a baby killer to me, regardless of the license plates.

  • Beowoof14

    Crisis pregnancy centers, you mean Christian Bullshit.

  • willi0000000

    CPCs . . . what a great alternative . . . and a license plate too!!!!!

  • TheBidenator

    Someone say Terri Schiavo, T-E-R-R-I Schiavo….

  • Serolf Divad

    It blows my mind that Huck came up with the idea of funding the government through whore dollars before Trump.

  • Vegan and Tiara

    Unborn babbies are the bestest babbies.

  • maman

    We created more “Lie to the preggo whore” centers

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Oh so he alludes to the Shiavo fiasco.

    • Steverino247

      Yes, he did.

  • Callyson

    Jeb!: we were just as wingnutty on women’s health care as anyone else! So what if I was on a board that had the sense to give some money to Planned Parenthood!!!

  • jmk

    Sure.. that “culture of life” shoved your fucking nose into Terry Schiavo’s business and funds organizations that fucking lie to women. Fuck you, Heb… fuck off and fuck off some more.

  • Steverino247

    So, you want to end capital punishment, then JEB?

  • Spurning Beer

    Life of the mother my ass.

  • timpundit

    All the candidates should just yell JESUS JESUS JESUS as loud as the can for 2 minutes, and get on with it.

  • Pat_Pending

    Megan: Did you know?
    Jeb!: No. But it dudn’t matter.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Cardinal Timothy Dolan is a facilitator of pedophiles. Fuck him.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Jeb will teleport into every womb in the USA!

  • Charles Cates

    Hmm, does masturbation prevent life?

  • Beaumarchais?

    Make rape victims bring their fetuses to term!

  • “Just”, Megyn?

  • timpundit

    Life begins and molestation.

  • jmk

    So, Marco, are we going to issue conception certificates?

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Oh, fuck….Rubio is making up shit.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Constitution! Drink!

  • Zippy

    Murdering babbies!

  • TheBidenator

    Shut up and drink your water, bitch.

  • Vegan and Tiara

    We murder babbies!

  • JohnR

    Rubio always sounds like a nervous High School kid.

  • Charles Cates

    Marco isn’t doing too bad.

    • smr06va

      Compared to?

      • Left Coast Tom

        toxic algae?

  • Beowoof14

    Oh Marco you are just so wrong.

  • Steverino247

    Barbarians for mistreating adult captives, is more like it.

  • Serolf Divad

    Jeb Bush personally aborted Michael Bloomberg’s alien love child.

  • Skwerl King

    “whether they have a birth certificate or not.” – except brown ones.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Rubio, you are a fucking barbarian.

  • JMP

    Rubio thinks the Constitution protects the rights of all Americans – unless of course they have a uterus.

  • Callyson

    Megyn, what in the everloving fuck with the wording of that question? “A life that is conceived violently”?

    I am officially even less apologetic for being pro-choice than I was before tonight. Fuck these woman-hating fucks…

  • Lot_49

    TRUMP TIME! TRUMP TIME! TRUMP TIME!

  • Charles Cates

    You’re really full of shit, aren’t you?

  • Beowoof14

    Attack of the Blonde on Donald.

  • Beaumarchais?

    Is that Trump’s happy face?

  • Wesley2006

    Too bad zygotes can’t vote.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Trump does not like the Blondie.

  • Here’s some alternate viewing for all my pals at Wonkette: Betty Boop for President!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9RfUt4jhPU

  • DustBowlBlues

    Anyone who says there is no difference in the parties, or Hilary pissed them off and they can’t vote for her. Vote.

  • Pat_Pending

    Oh, this abortion stuff is fabulous! Bring it Megan! Donald, when did you stop beating your wife?

  • TheBidenator

    YEP….Trump went to the REAGAN card, everyone get hammered!

  • Zippy

    I AM REAGAN!

  • jmk

    Ahhh the GOP outreach to women – “you are all just the way future men get born.”

  • Spurning Beer

    Ronald Reagan did not evolve from a monkey.

  • Vegan and Tiara

    Trump, are you a fellow traveler? Do you believe in the power of Ronald Raven?

  • “Resting Trump Face” is my spirit animal.

  • timpundit

    I think Rubio is gonna crawl out of here with the least amount of shit on him.

  • Charles Cates

    I learned to like kale too.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Trump evolved from Reagan.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Creationism libel!

  • DustBowlBlues

    Was that Trump being booed?

    • Lot_49

      I know! How dare they?

    • Mormos

      trump is floundering. The coaching is breaking down

  • Callyson

    Trump: I hate abortion because I saw a kid. Sure, why the fuck not…

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    I’ve got a live stream now, and now I’m sorry.

    • data_ninja

      I have an audio only stream. I’m saving my eyes, but the ears are gone.

      • ZangoCrudmonger

        My audio is delayed a minute from the live feed, so I’m catching the comments on a curve. Nice to see it coming, so as to get the brain bleach.

    • TheBidenator

      Do you realize what you’ve done?

  • Serolf Divad

    New Republican law: any woman who is whore enough to be raped should suck it up.

  • Vegan and Tiara

    Bush, you suck so hard you gave birth to Obama!

  • Beaumarchais?

    “And I employed that child as a janitor in one of my casinos and he got fired when the casino went bankrupt, but at least he had a chance.”

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Trump gets a smackdown from Meggyn, plays the Reagan card. Gets his least enthusiastic reaction.

  • kaw143

    Trump admits evolution is a thing. Doesn’t show his own missing link as proof.

  • CripesAmighty

    Ugh. The Dumpster panders to the Creepy Curtain Peeper crowd.

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      I don’t know what that means but it made me laugh.

      • CripesAmighty

        The ‘I Used to be Pro-Choice but ah dun been saved’ pretzel pander.

  • jmk

    Ohhhh Meggie, Jon Stewart says asshole all the time.

  • Callyson

    The Donald managed to turn a question about abortion into a way to bash Jeb! This is hilarious, or is that the wine talking?

    • Reddishrabbit

      It is hilarious. Or else beer agrees with wine.

    • sw19womble

      I’m on the fizzy water and it’s definitely hilarious.

  • Beowoof14

    Oh Jeb you know damn well you said all that shit and more.

  • Steverino247

    I did not call that man an asshole. He happens to be an asshole, but I didn’t call him that.

  • Toomush_Infer

    Trump and Jeb goin to town on, oh no, Jeb turns Jesusy…

  • Steverino247

    Florida lifted up? It’s going underwater, dude.

    • NellCote71

      Must not read Sunday Florida Fun Times on beloved Wonkette. + Babby pictures.

  • Pat_Pending

    Jebby, you’re still talking about Florida here…

  • Charles Cates

    You’re running out of scared old white people, dude.

  • Vegan and Tiara

    Bush: “we’re not divisive at ALL, it’s the mean Demoncrats who are divisive, and also too the buffoon Donald Trump.”

  • DustBowlBlues

    Oh yeah, Jeb! lifted up Terri Schiavo.

  • smr06va

    Jeb! — It was Floridah!

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Bush pays a tribute to the other candidates. Touching.

    • Zippy

      brown noser

  • Callyson

    “apply conservative principles the right way”

    Now there’s a stand with a fuckton of wiggle room…

  • Zippy

    The horror!

  • willi0000000

    beheadings – DRINK!

    • kaw143

      I would, but I can’t hold a glass, anymore. I should have some bendy straws around here, somewhere. . .

  • Steverino247

    Trump calls Jeb! a gentleman? Puh-lease!

    • Spotts1701

      In same way Yertle calls Rafael “My good friend”?

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Too many people are suffering…and that’s the way we like it! Suffer, poors!

  • Charles Cates

    They’re riding donkeys across our border!

    • Beowoof14

      I thought the Donkeys were at the debate stage.

    • Reddishrabbit

      Was it about something about melons?

  • Toomush_Infer

    Trump still doesn’t have any time…

  • TheBidenator

    Jeb: “I didn’t call Trump a clown, a buffoon and a fuckstick but seriously, look at this clownish buffoony fuckstick”

  • Charles Cates

    And would you eat pizza at their wedding?

    • Beowoof14

      LIke Trump with a knife and fork.

  • DustBowlBlues

    He’d throw the kid out on the street. Like any good Xian.

  • Charles Cates

    The wedding was fabulous!

  • jmk

    Yay John Kasich – which is something I will probably never say again.

    • Snopes Shop

      he lost any chance at 7:30 PST

      • Vegan and Tiara

        He lost at any chance by virtue of the fact that he’s not TOTALLY insane.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    He went to a wedding of someone who is gay. STONE HIM!

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Love a gay!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Hippy!

  • superdave

    Whoa. The audience is applauding Kasich attending a gay marriage?

  • Skwerl King

    Cheers for gheys!

    • Beaumarchais?

      They must be drunk, too.

    • data_ninja

      I am so confused right now.

  • “I’m cool with clam-bumpin’.”

    – Gov. Kasich

  • Steverino247

    I’m an old fashioned man. But I’m not an asshole. Good answer by Gov. K. Seriously.

  • CripesAmighty

    Now Trump tries to channel Col Kurtz. Brando tries to kill himself again.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Trump bounces back, of course. Beheadings! Oooh. No time for tone. Big applause.

  • Callyson

    “We don’t have time for tone”

    Um, Donald honey? We’re spending this entire evening talking: now would be the right time to set a tone that resembles sanity…

  • Vegan and Tiara

    Wait, the GOP is applauding Kasich’s hypothetical rug munching daughter?

    • DustBowlBlues

      Some of those new, hipster Young Republicans we’ve heard so much about.

    • LarkintheAM

      Remember another Republican with a lesbian daughter, who even got married, though her sister disapproved? Na, me neither.

      • Vegan and Tiara

        Does it rhyme with “insane-y?”

        • LarkintheAM

          Eh . . . could be!

    • TheBidenator

      Well if he’d have talked about his son playing hide the sausage and wanting to marry a dude, one of those wingnuts would have shot him.

  • Vegan and Tiara

    Kasich “I love my dead gay son!”

    • data_ninja

      “Heathers” reference?

      • Vegan and Tiara

        Mais Oui!

    • BMW

      “What is your damage, Heather?”
      -other candidates

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Oh my gawd, he’s talking like an actual Christian. This is going to hurt him with the fundies.

  • jmk

    Good, Randy – go off the grid. Buhbye.

  • Zippy

    WTF does that even mean, Rand?

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Just make sure one of you fills out a scorecard at the end; ranked from dumbest to slightly less dumb.

  • Callyson

    OFFS here we go with the “can you ensure that Christians won’t be persecuted for being homophobes?” trope…

  • Lot_49

    Kasich is a fairly skillful bullshitting subject changer. Unconditional love! Ya gotta love it!

    • Steverino247

      Yup. He’s really good at it.

  • JMP

    Hey, crazy lady, no one will be prosecuted for being a bigot and speaking out against gay marriage.

  • Steverino247

    Tell us about your guns, Senator.

  • maman

    I am FILLED with Christ’s LOVE

    • Reddishrabbit

      Sorry wrong comment.
      Drink

      • Zippy

        smite it, flip it, smite the other side

    • Steverino247

      I think I saw that video once.

      • maman

        I stole it from a movie. Mandy Moore said it

    • Zippy

      and beer

      • maman

        Well, bourbon in reality.

      • maman

        duh

  • BREAKING: Rand Paul is in a polygamous marriage with guns.

  • Josh Raeburn

    It sure is nice when Fox News can pick on other Republicans for a couple of hours instead of hating on Democrats.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    You realize, propertarian freak, that the reason for registering a marriage is to govern property.

    • Steverino247

      Hey, I worked in family law for ten years and that’s a fact.

  • Ex dente leonem

    You heard him, Rand Paul supports Sharia law.

  • Wesley2006

    “Gay wedding” actually means “depriving homeless vet free food”, yes?

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    LIES LIES LIES How can I snark when they spout these hateful lies.

  • kaw143

    Gay marriage is covered by the 2nd Amendment! Praise the lord, and oh, yeah, I’ll handle your ammunition. . .

  • TheBidenator

    I’m beginning to really hate Rand Paul…

    • sw19womble

      Such a disappointment…

    • Beaumarchais?

      Join the crowd.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Beginning?

      • Left Coast Tom

        Yeah, I’ve had the ‘hate Rand Paul’ thing covered for a while.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      You’re coming late to that party.

    • Zippy

      serious asshole

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Neofeudalist asswipe.

    • Lot_49

      Trump is an arrogant prick with some accomplishments to his “credit,” at least as the Republican base sees things. Paul is just an arrogant prick.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    I hope there is a break down on how much time each candidate got in this debate. I swear there was a black guy.

    • BaddTicker

      And a Canadian.

    • Reddishrabbit

      You sure?

    • Steverino247

      Black lives matter. Black GOP candidates apparently don’t.

    • JMP

      Who appeared to be stoned or on prescription sleep medication.

  • Callyson

    WHOA–Megyn is mentioning the Black Lives Matter movement on FOX?

    She must have some really good shit on Ailes and/or Murdoch…

    • Steverino247

      Well, she did say “and beyond.”

  • superdave

    Walker speaks, all I hear is ZZZZZZZZZZZ.

    • riledupone

      Whenever he gets called, he sets a stance, cocks his head and lifts his hands to gesticulate. It’s like he’s running through a mental checklist before he even start to spew his effluent.

  • SO the Gay marriage question is: How are YOU gonna protect CHRISTIAN bakers against HEATHEN gay cakes?

  • Ricky Gay

    Kasich makes too much sense = doomed

    • data_ninja

      They should have asked him about abortion. He would have shown his true colors then.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Some of my best friends are scum.

  • Spurning Beer

    I really hope Chris Wallace drops out of the race after this.

  • Toomush_Infer

    Softball for Walker – there aren’t a dozen black folks in Wisconsin, outside Madison…

  • Blender_415

    Walker is TOTALLY HOT for the blonde one. CREEPY

  • TheBidenator

    The Republican plan for climate change: Let Rubio drink all of the rising sea levels

  • ZangoCrudmonger

    Gay marriage divides us – with scissoring!

    • Gleem-McShinez

      BOTH SIDES DO IT!

      …According to the videos

  • MilwaukeeKent

    I think the other nine should’ve taken the stage in Trump wigs, just punk him en masse, maybe in September! Shit, Walker invokes Sheriff “Pick up a gun, don’t call 9-1-1” David Clarke — he has a black friend!

  • Pat_Pending

    I love how our moderators look so smirky and superior. That’s saying something. Are they being ironic? Does Ailes know about these smirks?

    • Charles Cates

      He keeps staring at Megyn’s gams.

      • NellCote71

        Is that what the young folks are calling them these days?

        • CripesAmighty

          I think it’s ‘pins’.

    • riledupone

      They think they’ve crafted insightful questions are going to emphasize the journalisminess of their existence.

  • Charles Cates

    And there’s hamburger all over the highway in Mystic, Connecticut.

  • Lot_49

    It’s gotta be admitted: Trump is doing a good job. Right on the edge of crazy, but not leaning out far enough to scare the base.

    • sw19womble

      Agitprop at its finest.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        I love the fact that he virtually promised to mount a third party challenge if he lost. And they didn’t throw him out of the building!

    • Left Coast Tom
      <