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'S okay, he's a nice demon like Anya.

WorldNetDaily, that arbiter of reasonable news reporting and speculation ONLY when based on sound evidence, has a question: Did Barack Obama take his own personal demon to Kenya with him, and was it caught on camera getting off Air Force One at the same time Obama deplaned, and do they travel with each other often, and is this why flies sometimes land on Obama’s nose, and does the demon tell him what to do, and does this mean that Obama is the antichrist, and what is the demon’s name, and how long has he been personally controlling America’s president, and why can’t I ever wake up in the morning without being followed around by all these BIRDS! BIRDS! BIRDS! They’re everywhere! Can’t you see them? They have claws and fangs and they say the government is collecting data through the toilet when I pee! No, don’t take me to the hospital again, I’ll never come back!

[A] mysterious flash during Barack Obama’s visit to his ancestral homeland of Kenya last month has some people wondering once again about the president’s ties to strange phenomena.

As the president smiles and shakes hands with those greeting him at the airport after he descends from Air Force One, a strange image races across the screen from right to left, seemingly directly in front of Obama.

Oh no, what is the image? Is it the fully formed face of dark lord Satan himself, or at least one of Satan’s kids? No, it is this gray blob, which swings by real fast:

Must have been shapeshifting at the time.

Well that’s a letdown. Maybe it was shapeshifting at the time. Let’s roll the tape, Alex:

Okay, so at the 0:13 mark, you might want to do full screen maybe IF YOU’RE NOT SCARED OF DEMONS, and then pause and move it around a millisecond here, a maxisecond there, because you will clearly see the fully formed face of Obama’s Real Father a boom mic swinging past the frame. Or shall we say, it is most likely a boom mic, considering the way it swings, and also, know what kinds of things get set up when the Emperor of the New World is getting off an airplane in a foreign land? Lots of lights, for good and nice picture taking, and boom mics, so everybody can catch what the emperor is saying, which is usually “Astaroth! Down, boy, down! Wanna go outside?!?!”

And then the demon pees on everybody’s legs, it’s rather a sight to see.

Now, to be fair to WND, deep down in the story with the scary headline, which will keep poopypants-ed wingnuts trembling in toothless fear, the very sane writer (we’re sure), Joe Kovacs, says maybe there’s a perfectly natural explanation:

Of course, there’s a variety of possible explanations for the mystery, including a camera flash, a reflection, an out-of-focus person, a boom microphone, a bird, an insect, a glitch in the video or the always popular optical illusion.

By that point in the article, though, average WND readers (the ones who aren’t couchborne anyway) are already on the roofs of their mobile homes, showing their guns to Jesus and waiting for a special sign that they need to go to Walmart and pick up demon-hunting supplies. And besides, they already saw yr Wonkette’s story about the gay three-headed sex dragon which is NOT racially transcendent, and is currently abortioning all Good American Christians, so that’s like two of Revelation’s prophecies fulfilled right there.

Help us get back to reality, sane video editor who understands videos, How Do They Work. Oh wait, it’s still a WND source though:

“From a video editor’s standpoint, it could just be some sort of glitch. However, there doesn’t seem to be any logical reason as to why this glitch would appear as the rest of the video seems to be functioning fine. The image does look like some type of other-worldly being, but I’m sure everyone’s own imagination will conjure up what they would like it to be.”

See? It’s just like clouds! It can be whatever YOU want it to be. If you are a normal person, you see a boom mic or something along those lines, and if you are a mentally ill WND reader, you can make it into any one of Barack Obama’s secret gay demon Muslim sex friends, and you can worry about changing those soiled Underoos later, after you’ve fulfilled your duties in the coming Obamapocalypse, which is starting any day now, you’ll see, now get out of our way, faithless unbelievers!

[WND via Right Wing Watch]

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  • I’m voting for the homodemon. :o)

  • Reddishrabbit

    Finally, can we impeach now? I mean, what else does he have to do? Safe the economy, provide RomneyCare to everyone outside Taxsasschuts, and stop a third middle eastern war? Isn’t it cheat, end times!
    Also,
    BENGHAZZZZI!!!!1!!!!1!!!!!11!!!!!!1!!

  • dslindc

    Watch that boom mic run in 2016, win, and then retroactively install Obama as dictator for life! Wake up sheeple!

    • Suttree

      I’m still voting for inanimate carbon rod.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Well, did fuckface Joe Kovacs go with Bamz to Kenya? No? Then Bamz didn’t take his personal demon with him to Kenya. Case closed.

  • calliecallie

    This is nothing. There’s lots of video of W’s satanic demon companion. His name is Dick Cheney.

    • BadKitty904

      But that’s just a folktale, to scare lil’ children, right? RIGHT??1?!?

      • marxalot

        He sneaks in to your house at night… TO DEREGULATE YOUR SOUL!

        • Villago Delenda Est

          And steal your heart…to be transplanted into him!

    • steve damon

      Yeah, but you have to call him by his secret Satanic name, “Bubbles.”

  • Angry_Cop

    “if you are a mentally ill WND reader”

    Redundant.

  • BadKitty904

    I bet it was a government-issue demon – that moocher!

  • Belasaurius

    the boom mic is now polling even with Trump

    • dslindc

      To which Trump replied, “What a loser! I have way more YOOOOGE and classy hair than that lame-ass fluff on a pole!”

  • kindness

    I feel really bad that someone here has to monitor the challenged over at World Net Daily. I only hope they get hazard pay for it. We thank you because we sure as hell don’t want to wander over there.

    • SnarkTank

      Well, since the Fartknocker Report on PalinTV shut down, SOMEBODY has some free time on his hands…and has already a built-up immunity to at least most of the stupid, also too.

      • mardam422

        You betcha.

  • Callyson

    That’s a demon? I thought it was smoke from the Santa Ana cops

  • Capt.Jim

    Iffin you run it in extra slow motion it looks like smoke from a bong hit being expelled from some cat out of the picture Inpeach !!!! Benghazi Hitler Hussein Obama now afore he releases the Kingdom of Satan and his Jade Helm imps upon us all

  • Metadude

    ALL HAIL LORD BAALBERITH!

    • OneYieldRegular

      Not until we see his long-form Baalberith certificate.

  • BadKitty904

    OT: Say what you will about my beloved homeland, but we DO occasionally get things right:

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/beach-wedding-baby-sea-turtles_55c12290e4b0e716be078260?kvcommref=mostpopular

    • Callyson

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Looks very Jade Helm-y to me..

  • DerrickWildcat

    I’ve ran it through the crime computer and so far it checks out. I’ll have to run it by the lab guys before I can confirm it.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      Zoom and enhance!

    • Boscoe

      Holy Weekly World News Batman, it’s Elvis!

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    Relax, it’s just Batboy, flapping around again.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Or the ghost of Dead Breitbart.

    • dave in texas

      CHUPACABRA!!!

  • JohnR

    Fuck’s sake demons only show up under black lights or if you splash them with holy water.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      Or if you consume “bath salts”.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      I thought they stopped showing up when we stopped using film stock with silver in it.

  • schmannity

    The leader of the Choom Gang could finally exhale once in Kenya.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Dictionary definition of a glitch, emphasis added:”a sudden, usually temporary malfunction or irregularity of equipment”

    From a video editor’s standpoint, it could just be some sort of glitch. However, there doesn’t seem to be any logical reason as to why this glitch would appear as the rest of the video seems to be functioning fine.

    or to put it another way:

    From a video editor’s standpoint, I don’t know what the word glitch means.

    What a dope.

  • lucidamente

    “has some people wondering” = “the voices in my head.”

  • Lizzietish81

    Quick! Start yelling in Latin!

    • Callyson

      O, propter irrumabo.

    • SnarkTank

      “Bring me a young priest and an old priest…”

    • jviscont1

      Dominos and biscuits for lunch.

  • MrBlobfish

    Sure. Why the fuck not.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    “The image does look like some type of other-worldly being, but I’m sure everyone’s own imagination will conjure up what they would like it to be.”

    Can it be that ghost bartender from The Shining? Because I could use an unholy martini right about now.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      ’70s Dr. Who had “invisible” aliens that were obviously plastic bags being jiggled by a stagehand. Still more plausibly demonic that this BS.

    • SnarkOff

      ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY

    • Suttree

      There is nothing wrong with dirty vodka martinis!

  • a_pink_poodle

    BEHOLD, SATAN IN ALL HIS FOCUSED AND HORRIBLE GLORY!
    http://pngimg.com/upload/microphone_PNG7903.png

    • Belasaurius

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      I am sure it’s a condenser mic and not a dynamic mic.

      • steve damon

        Yep. Phantom power required.

    • coozledad

      Hey, good lookin’! We’ll be back to pick up YOUR SOUL later.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3EE5yQAfHE

  • lucidamente

    Well, this happened in Jamaica:

  • Spotts1701

    I think we need to call in the expert:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wi-lW2poE4

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …maybe we can get advice from Bobby Jindal on how to exorcise the demon?

  • FauxAntocles

    I say it’s a flying dust bunny with nasty, big, pointy teeth.

  • SnarkOff

    BLURGHAZI!!!!!

    • borninatrailer

      Kind of a lame demon name.

      • Doug Langley

        Hey, you try summoning him and find out just how lame he is.

    • elviouslyqueer

      BOOMMIKEGHAZI!!!!!, more like.

    • Logic of Color

      DEMONGATE!!!

  • TheBidenator

    Eh, it beats the boring reality-based explanation….more crazy please! :holds out bowl:

  • Mavenmaven

    It was JESUS, man, and Obama is the Second Coming, just like we thought.

    • Boscoe

      Naw… that can’t be it. Hmm… What’s the African equivalent of a Chupocabra?

      • janecita

        Chupacabras, you just said “I suck goats”

  • TheBidenator

    Remember when wingnuts blew the back of their pants out after Hugo Chavez said he could smell the sulfur left behind by Dubya (clearly a reference to his flatulence)? This is like that only a lot crazier and not as funny because it doesn’t involve a fart joke….

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    What happened, were they playing Dungeons & Dragons on the plane?

  • Olav_Pompatus

    Too bad it’s not an image of the Virgin Mary. Good money in those.

    • AntiDerpomeme

      How do we know it’s not the BVM? After all, even WND says it could be anything.

      But nah, probably not. She prefers appearances on toast more than at meetings with world leaders. Those deities are shy like that.

    • drbloor

      What we need now is a preznit who enjoys a good grilled cheese sammich, that’s fer damn sure.

      • Toomush_Infer

        Velveeeta…

        • eddi

          I lost my taste for that stuff. Too sweet nowadays.

  • Ryan Denniston

    I keep going back and forth as to whether that graphic is my favorite, or if the Jade Helm one wiht Obama holding a burning Constitution is better.

    • Vecciojohn

      Hey, wait a minute, that’s not a black helicopter. Fake!

  • Tendernob

    Does this mean that Orly Taitz ESQ DDS BBQ WTF was right all along???

    • vivian

      yes, far right

  • Boscoe

    …I’m gonna go with “what is the ghost of Saul Alinsky, Alex?” for the win.

  • jviscont1

    looked like Bill Ayers to me. maybe Alinsky.

    • Vecciojohn

      Soros. It’s gotta be Soros.

      • Suttree

        I’m going with Abu Bakr.

    • Boscoe

      Oh sure, sneak in and post that while I was still trying to get my hi-larious gif to load… >:(

      • jviscont1

        you were there 1st. but Alinsky is timeless. any gif featuring a mini is worth the wait.

  • fawkedifiknow

    I’m not making this up, I saw Donald Trump’s toupee fly by. Or, maybe it was Ivana’s.

    • Doug Langley

      Close your eyes! Don’t look. Whatever you do . . . DON’T LOOK AT IT!!!

  • shastakoala

    I don’t believe anything unless it’s verified by a certifiable, I mean certified ghost hunter.

    • Vecciojohn

      Most states outside of the Old Confederacy do not certify ghost hunters any longer. Some states recognize trained Ectoplasmic Consultants and you may advertise as such if you pass a course approved by a state board.

      • Sheepshagger

        Once, when I was still drinking, I had irrefutable proof of demons. When I woke up my room was full of ectoplasm and my wife was obviously possessed by demons, because she wouldn’t talk to me for a week.

        • Vecciojohn

          Goddamn Canadian whisky’ll do it to you every time.

          • Suttree

            Try Russian whisky sometime. Poltergeists chased me around for a week.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Has to be Dr. Venkman, Dr. Stantz, or Dr. Spengler. No substitutes.

      • eddi

        Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine LIBULZ!

  • Ergoetal

    I’d love to comment but I can’t get my iPad to work up here on the roof.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Try aiming your broomstick in a different direction.

  • Steven M. Harries

    May be true. On “Their Satanic Majesties Request,” there’s an early version of “Kenya Hear Me Knocking?”

  • TheBidenator

    Has anyone aside from me noticed that every time someone disagrees with wingnuts it’s because that person is obviously possessed by demons? It’s an interesting dome-like construct of crazy that they’ve got going for themselves and no wonder they never change…

  • OneYieldRegular

    Am I too late to leave a comment on the WND story letting readers know that a potato chip in the bag I bought for lunch appears to have an image of Jesus on it? I could use some extra income.

  • Joshua Norton

    There is no boom mic. Only Zuul.

    • SadDemInTex

      Don’t think of Mr. Stay Puft!!!

      • cindyinencinitas

        Mr. who??

  • timpundit

    Exorcist and Republican Party Intern, Piyush “Skeeter” Jindal has been notified.

  • Zippy

    Wait, these idjits are freaking out because some boom operator crossed someone’s shot with his shotgun mic zeppelin? At a press event? Seriously?

    • BearGHAZI

      Actually, most of the comments jokingly refute the article; it’s way too stupid for most of the lowbrows that frequent WND. But not all:

      “He’s a demon. The Jewish Mystics say demons attract flies and insects. Yup, that’s a real demon. They also say their faces change. That would account for Michelle Obama who looks different in every photo. His face morphs into hideous expressions. Watch his face carefully.”

      • Candy Apple

        I got even stupider reading that.

        • eddi

          Go read some Einstein.

  • NotALiar

    Well it was a mic because you could hear it bump across the camera. Or its obunglers personal demon friend. Whatever.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

  • crunchyknee

    Teleprompter.

  • cessnadriver

    Xenu. Look for mass conversions in Africa.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    I ran this image through the supercomputer and it’s worse we thought…

    http://www.morethings.com/fan/saturday_night_live/jon_lovitz/jon_lovitz-devil-snl-40.jpg

  • BearGHAZI

    I’m selling demon warding rocks for only $50. NOBODY escapes possession without a rock.

  • Steverino247

    I think we need to write DNR on the medical records of everyone clicking on World New Daily.

    • Suttree

      Makes sense. They’re already brain dead.

  • docterry6973

    Kenyan demons are nice and are good company. HE”S MAKING ME SAY THAT! OUCH!

  • Bill Slider

    Ate we sure that this is not an emergency delivery of those Obamaphones for the Kenyan faithful?

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Say, you know who else was visited by His Satanic Majesty during a public appearance? (Hint: think Nürnberg rally.)

    • Suttree

      Leni Riefenstahl?

    • mrpuma2u

      Kraut heavy metal band the Scorpions?

    • whyieverdidit

      Supreme Court Justice Robert H. Jackson?

  • m3bosha

    Perfectly reasonable occurrence or Obama is the anti-christ. We report, you decide.

  • steve damon

    No, just another one of those reptilian holographs going a little wonky. It happens sometimes. Everybody just chill.

  • leemoder

    Hey! Underoos are FUN-der-wear!

  • Toomush_Infer

    Focus! (how does it work?)….

  • Toomush_Infer

    Clearly, if you can lip sync, Obama is saying: “Please to meet ya….”

  • nightmoth

    “The image does look like some type of other-worldly being”
    Or not. But it’s interesting that the only supernatural beings this crowd can think of associating with Obama are malign. I mean, you’ve got African orishas (revered good spirits), Irish faeries (powerful, mostly good), Christian guardian angels, even the spirits of his late grandparents and parents: all of which are more likely to glom onto Obama than some pissant demons. This says a lot about how their frightened brains function.

  • CJTX

    I suppose it doesn’t matter, and yeah, maybe it’s confirmation bias, but I worked in TV news for awhile and it looks exactly like a boom mic. More importantly, I didn’t realize demons had skinny necks that look like boom mic poles. It’s hard to see, but would have been obvious with(out) the lower graphics.

    Rotate the picture below 45 degrees so it’s facing upward, and it sure looks exactly the same.

  • 3FingerPete

    “Of course, there’s a variety of possible explanations for the mystery,
    including a camera flash, a reflection, an out-of-focus person, a boom
    microphone, a bird, an insect, a glitch in the video or the always
    popular optical illusion…”

    …but Occam’s Razor says it was probably a demon.

  • Rick Hill

    Trying really hard to get one of those completely unhinged religious types to go ahead and take care of The Beast, aren’t they?

    • Celtic_Gnome

      We wouldn’t have these problems if everything wasn’t digital so we could just play it backwards like the old record players.

      • Rick Hill

        Too true

  • BUFFY ALT-TXT!

    • Candy Apple

      I KNOW! Evan is my new favorite, sorry Dok.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Wouldn’t Obama’s demon be required to fly separately from the President like the Vice President?

  • Candy Apple

    Evan, I love you for mentioning Anya in the subtext picture thingy.

    • Nice? Were you watching the same episodes of Buffy I was?

      Now Clem, he was a nice demon.

      • Candy Apple

        Aww, what’s a little massacre every now and then among friends, huh?

        Clem was pretty cool…

  • guppy06

    “Demon,” you say?

  • guppy06

    yr Wonkette’s story about the gay three-headed sex dragon

    Sooo tempted to log in, slay it (or a close, palette-swapped relative), take a screenshot of the corpse, and post it so that everyone can sleep soundly tonight.

  • guppy06

    And I doubt I need to point out that the demon was swinging to the left

  • 19th Amendment

    “…poopypants-ed”

    *Sigh* I might have to quit reading Evan’s cuteness. He makes me laugh way too hard, because “poopypants-ed” is literally how I voice my opinion, seriously-out loud, of baggery types and their authored bs legislation. But only to friends and family. (((Evan)))

  • Me not sure

    Paging Father Merrin, paging Father Merrin, please pick up on a courtesy phone, you’re needed.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Nice try. Like we can’t tell a boom mic from a teleprompter at any speed.

  • Swampgas_Man

    When did Psychosis become a point of view?

    • eddi

      January 1981

  • Annie Towne

    Actually, Anya wasn’t all that nice. She had issues.

  • So, since we are banned from WND (happened real quick for some reason…), we’ll put this here…

    WorldNetDaily Declares Donald Trump “The Second Coming of Christ”
    http://www.theniladmirari.com/2015/08/worldnetdaily-declares-donald-trump.html

    • Mahousu

      Sequels always suck.

  • Tansy Geek

    If we get to pick what we would like the fuzzy blur to be, I would like it to be Jimmy Carter’s giant rabbit.

  • eddi

    The crazy meter on my computer just pegged at max. That usually only happens at Rense.)com.

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