The internet is a wonderful thing

Today our parable comes from the Book Of Chootzpah: In the Year Of the Bad Cop, the City of Santa Ana did decide that there were too many medical marijuana dispensaries operating without a license, and lo, they did send Centurions to bust some Stoners. And it came to pass that the Centurions did break down the doors of a dispensary that was already open for business, and with guns drawn did raid the place, then proceed to tear down all the security cameras. But lo, they missed one, and what a wonder did it behold: The Centurions did partake of the edibles, and found them Good. And thus were the Centurions Busted.

Except for the part with the cops being busted, that is. There’s an investigation into the May 26 incident, but nobody’s actually been arrested, except of course for the dispensary owners, who, as Conor Friedersdof at The Atlantic notes, could have just been served with a warrant instead of subjected to a battering-ram raid with guns drawn, for a misdemeanor licensing offense:

As a result, customers at Sky High Holistic marijuana dispensary had a terrifying experience: While browsing the pot shop’s products, they suddenly heard someone busting in the door. Seconds later, men were rushing into the room with guns drawn. Some wore masks. Frightened patrons quickly lay face down on the ground. […]

But needlessly endangering the public was just the beginning of the dubious conduct. A surveillance camera recorded officers disconnecting the shop’s surveillance cameras. Under the impression that they’d got them all and were only accountable to fellow police officers, the cops discredited themselves in footage destined for YouTube:

And what a video it is!

Among other highlights, the video shows officers munching on pot edibles; the OC Weekly transcribed a couple of them talking about the quality:

“Those candy bars are pretty good,” one of the cops remarks at 8:08 p.m., speaking with his mouth full. “I kinda feel light-headed though.”

Doesn’t he know that eating a whole pot candy par could make you really sick? We guess Santa Ana cops don’t read Maureen Dowd, much less Yr Editrix.

And then there’s the charming conversation about one of the customers in the dispensary, Marla James, a local marijuana activist who needs an electric wheelchair after having one of her legs amputated:

Male Cop: Did you punch that one-legged old benita?

Female Cop, laughing: I was about to kick her in her fucking nub.

And then there’s the fun backstory part, revealed in a longer version of the video obtained by the OC Weekly. One of the cops brags about being a drinking buddy of Judge John Fish, who signed the warrant for the raid, and reminisces about good times with Fish back when he was a district attorney:

“He’s the judge that signed our warrant,” the first officer continues, adding that he had just spoken with Judge Fish and had enjoyed a good laugh with him about their old times together. “He’s the fucker that pulled into a gas station on our way to the Staples Center and goes, ‘Let’s buy some beers and drink ’em out of a red cup.’ I go, ‘That’s not going to be obvious.’ There we are at an am/pm getting styrofoam cups and pouring our beers into them. That fucking blew me away.”

Good times, man.

But here’s the crowning Moment of Chutzpah: In response to the internal investigation, the Santa Ana police union has sued to prevent the video, which has been going viral on the YouTubes, from being used against the officers, because it’s just NOT FAIR. The Orange County Register sums up the lawsuit thusly:

The lawsuit argues that the video doesn’t paint a fair version of events. The suit also claims the video shouldn’t be used as evidence because, among other things, the police didn’t know they were on camera. “All police personnel present had a reasonable expectation that their conversations were no longer being recorded and the undercover officers, feeling that they were safe to do so, removed their masks,” says the suit.

The dispensary also did not obtain consent of any officer to record them, the suit says. “Without the illegal recordings, there would have been no internal investigation of any officer,” the suit says.

Yes, the cops say they can’t be prosecuted because they thought they had destroyed all the evidence, and it’s really unfair to use video from the camera they didn’t know about. Why, the dispensary owners, who they’d already arrested and sent away before prying the security cameras off the walls, didn’t even have the common decency to let them know where the less visible cameras were! Therefore, they can’t be held accountable for their actions, since their illegal behavior never would have come to light if the surviving cameras hadn’t squealed on them. God knows none of the cops would have said anything, so this is a complete violation of their rights to do whatever they want as long as only other police are around.

This one should be fun to follow as it moves forward and the cops test the novel legal theory that since none of them would have ever revealed what they did, it’s illegal to prosecute them.

[The Atlantic / OC Weekly / OC Weekly again / Orange County Register]

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  • lucidamente

    Dude, Where’s My Due Process?

  • DerrickWildcat

    How do you know if they are drugs if you don’t take them? I have to side with law enforcement here. They are just doing their job.

  • Angry_Cop

    Fuck, if this had happened anyplace else there might be hope. But in the OC? Cops will probably end up with medals and raises.

  • exinkwretch

    A little surprised the cop felt “light-headed.” I bet it takes a shitload of pot edibles to counteract the ‘roid rage.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      If that cop felt light-headed, it was a placebo effect. Edibles don’t kick in that fast.

  • Callyson

    I was gonna arrest that suspect until I got high
    I was gonna get up and investigate the crime scene but then I got high
    my squad car is still messed up and I know why (why man?) yea heyy,
    – cause I got high [repeat 3X]

    • riledupone

      Smokin’ marijuana is more fun than drinkin’ beer,
      A friend of ours was captured and they gave him thirty years
      Maybe we should raise our voices ask somebody why,
      But demonstrations are drag, besides, we’re much too high.

      And it wouldn’t interest anybody, outside a small circle of friends

  • OneYieldRegular

    The last time I was offered marijuana to buy was in a San Francisco bar; the seller, sitting on the barstool next to me and drinking beer, was a cop in uniform.

    • Anarchy Pony

      You sure he wasn’t the one guy from the village people?

      • OneYieldRegular

        Yes, I am absolutely sure, because that guy used to live in a crack house right across the street from me.

    • memzilla

      Hell man, everybody knows cops have the best stuff.

  • Antimassacree

    It was just a coincidence that they pulled over a Frito-Lays truck with a faulty taillight an hour later and had to confiscate its contents.

    • HolidayinCambodia

      It hadn’t signaled a lane change properly. What were they supposed to do?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Also, too, MUNCHIES!

      • Antimassacree

        That is a capital crime in some parts of the country.

  • Antimassacree

    Who you gonna believe? The cops or your lyin’ eyes?

  • memzilla

    Welp, time for me to mosey on down to the local Bank Of America and see if I can use this “I didn’t consent to no damn cameras taping me robbing the place” defense.

    • TheBidenator

      While you’re there, could you pickup my paycheck? It’s already cashed and it’s in the vault in a canvas sack with a big $$$ on it. Don’t ask me why my boss insists on using such a cartoonish and outdated method of payment just ya know, grab it for me…

      • riledupone

        The ACME Payroll Co.?

  • HolidayinCambodia

    Back when the first Bush was president, I had a client who was arrested on the local interstate with “90 pounds” of marijuana in the car. After he pled–in federal court, since the Feds had forfeiture rules that benefited the local police more than the state–the pot needed to be weighed for sentencing purposes, and you’ll never guess what happened!

    Seventy-five pounds. So, either they were right when he was arrested, or they weren’t.

    • Lizzietish81

      Hah! Friend of my sister was arrested after he received 10 lbs of pot via UPS.

      He got off when only 9lbs appeared in court.

      • HolidayinCambodia

        Thank god he was white!

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        “Officer, can you read to the court, from Exhibit A, the UPS label, what was the weight of the package?” (Cop: “Ten pounds, two ounces.”)
        “And can you explain how Exhibit B, nine pounds of marijuana, could possibly be what was in that package?”

  • Villago Delenda Est

    I look forward to the “I didn’t know I was on camera” defense being used in countless cases where someone was caught on camera doing something they shouldn’t have been doing.

  • Lizzietish81
  • RoyalUglyDude

    Here in Orange County, our jail is famous for its snacks. Those cops will fit right in.

    • Antimassacree

      Man on ice cream sandwich love! I told you marriage equality was a slippery slope

      –Soon-to-be-former Presidential Candidate Rick Santorum

    • Anarchy Pony


    • Whale Chowder

      “People go into jail cake eaters, but they come out loving ice cream.”

      -Ben Carson

  • Helena Handbag

    Abe Vigoda libelz!!!1!1

    • riledupone

      Is he still alive?

  • LarryHoudini

    So, Conor’s Friends at The Atlantic did what now? Sorry . . . my friend Billy the Cop just gave me some Gummy Bears he confiscated and now I can barely see the screen.

  • Birohazard

    Wow. Just…wow. Hoooge cojones doesn’t even begin to describe their actions.

  • thirdeblue

    The bad press police have been getting for a few years now has almost nothing to do with the conduct of bad cops. It has to do with the appalling way that police unions and departments cover that misconduct. These three officers should be fired posthaste and on top of that, the lawyer who is arguing the absurdity that the surveillance video is illegal should be fired as well.

    • Angry_Cop

      The lawyer’s doing his job, which is to represent the interests of his clients and nobody or anything else.

      I know a lot of people don’t like that but it’s how the system works. The lawyer is pretty much the only guy here who is doing his job like he’s supposed to.

      The cops, on the other hand, well, union or no, they’re on camera committing several criminal offenses, and there’s no reason that they couldn’t be fired immediately. But they won’t be. This is the same county that gives a pass to cops who beat mentally ill people to death, and the chief and others in power seem just fine with things being that way.

      • thirdeblue

        It depends on whether the attorney is the personal lawyer of the cops in question or the attorney for the actual police department. It it’s the lawyer for the department, he needs to be out of a job.

      • Callyson

        It’s one thing for the suspects lawyers to do what they can to defend their clients: quite another for the police union to stand behind criminals with a badge…

        • Toomush_Infer

          Not to mention that the strategy is more likely to (and already does) backfire in a way that makes the police union more vulnerable to ridicule now and in the future…

        • Angry_Cop

          As “TheBidenator” notes above, that’s the union’s job. They aren’t prosecutors or judges, and they have a responsibility to represent their members and fight for their rights, both legal and employment-wise. Again, you don’t have to like it, but as experience should have show everyone by now, workers without unions are slaves by another name.

          They can be fired anyway, union or no. The department has to decide if the ensuing lawsuit for wrongful termination will hold up or not and act accordingly.

          • Angry_Cop

            And I might add that if the union FAILS to back their members, the union can have the living shit sued out of it for breach of contract. As you would imagine, most judges jump at such a chance to bust a union.

          • Callyson

            Sure, but it’s one thing to defend a member whose job is threatened because the boss plays favorites or wants to hire someone younger and pay less. Quite another to stand up for members who abuse the thin blue line IMHO…

          • Angry_Cop

            I understand your objection but the union contract (and the law) does not distinguish between the two.

          • fka_donnie_d

            You do realize, dont you, that every last word you type proves my point re cop unions in particular and American labor in general?

            Another excellent example here


          • Redgyal

            That is one union I would love to see busted.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          The Police Union will stand behind criminals with a badge every time…at the expense of the good cops trying to expose the criminals. Just ask Frank Serpico.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        A good lawyer would keep his mouth shut, rather than spouting that sort of arrant nonsense. He’s basically telling the press, “Yeah, it looks bad, and this is all we’ve got.”

        • Angry_Cop

          In general I’d agree. But I think this lawyer knows his venue pretty well. Citizens of Orange County didn’t convict last year when those two cops went on trial for beating a homeless mentally ill person to death, and I’m pretty sure they’re not going to convict these guys either. I wish they would. Law enforcement in SoCal generally act like they have a license to do whatever the fuck they want, including kill people for fun, and I’d really like to see that change.

          But people get the police they want, and this is what the majority of citizens in the OC want.

          • Redgyal

            You mean they want a police force that hurts the people they don’t like for them. They only let this behavior slide because they are certain that the force will not be used against them.

          • doktorzoom

            (Begins humming “America the Beautiful”)

      • laineypc

        At what level of absurdity would a defense argument have to reach for you to say “OK that there is an absence of logic and reason, (or whatever the appropriate legal terminology is,) it is a total waste of money and time to pursue. Like if the argument was “they can’t use the surveillance footage because my grandmother disapproves of it”, can you say well the lawyer is just doing his job, grasping at anything he can think of, worth a try?
        Because I would say that the cops not knowing they are being filmed as a reason to deny it as evidence is at that level of absurdity. But hey, I am not a lawyer, obvs.

        • Angry_Cop

          None. A judge can decide that, but judges can and do give pretty much infinite leeway to defense counsel.

          FWIW, I very much doubt that argument will fly, as such a ruling opens the doors to infinite challenges to red light cameras, radar guns, and any surveillance camera footage of an accused. But the difference between a good lawyer and a shit lawyer is this: the good lawyer would try it.

        • Angry_Cop

          Also: I’ve spent the last seven years in and out of courts as an expert witness (don’t want to say in what field, anonymity is important) and you’re trying to bring common sense to bear on legal proceedings. Kudos, but the law simply doesn’t work that way. It’s very frustrating for people who are not used to dealing with it on a day-to-day basis.

    • TheBidenator

      Eh the police union is doing its job and defending its members as it is supposed to do. The lawyer is doing their job defending their clients….sometimes in order to act as a defense you have to frame your argument in an incredibly stupid fashion. The fact is, this defense has almost no chance of working but if it does, fire the judge and the prosecutor for certain.
      As a sidebar, I’d hope my union who I pay dues to and my lawyer who is employed to represent me would be shameless enough to test any argument no matter how stupid or seemingly hopeless just to keep my butt out of the fire. At least I’d be going down knowing they did all they could instead of just walking away from me…that’s how the justice system works. When it doesn’t work is when these desperate, idiotic claims are actually accepted because I am a cop….

      • marxalot

        There should be a “conduct unbecoming” clause in the Union Rules: if you’re a fucking disgrace to the Brotherhood, Brother, we give you back last month’s dues and eject your ass. Whistle for your defense.

        • Angry_Cop

          There are in quite a few union rules/contracts, but apparently the police union just don’t give a fuck.

        • TheBidenator

          I’m not saying you’re wrong I’m just saying if it’s me and I’m a member of a union (I could only be so lucky) and they have hired council, I think it’s right that both the Union and my council consider me a hill worth dying on… far as conduct unbecoming, I don’t think this necessarily rises to that level. If Timothy Loehmann has full Union support so should these jags.

          • laineypc

            Should your counsel make a lot of money off you and/or your union and waste everyone’s precious time by conjuring up doomed argument?

          • TheBidenator

            If there is a chance that it keeps me out of prison or buys time for a plea bargain….let me think, hell yes! It’s not wasting time if it accomplishes either/or, it’s only wasting time if you go to trial with it and you lose your arse.

          • Angry_Cop

            That’s their job, and it’s what their members pay them for.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            This. I was a union steward and officer. For every idiot who was his/her own worst enemy in the hearing, we also busted our butts for 10 innocent people who management decided didn’t fit their image of the company and had to go one way or another.

        • Grokenstein

          My own union tries to protect assholes with the same fervor as the innocent–perhaps more–but yeah, their influence ends at the point laws are broken.

          Police unions act as if Dredd 3D is how things work in the real world; “I wear this badge, so I can do whatever the hell I please.”

    • fka_donnie_d

      And, no offense to anybody, the cop unions are yet another example of how the labor movement in the United States is on total fucking crack.

      • Angry_Cop

        As a member of a labor union (CFT and formerly Teamsters) let me take this opportunity to tell you to go fuck yourself.

        • fka_donnie_d

          Yes Virginia, there are exceptions. Having said that please tell us what your leaders have done to foster an international union movement.

    • Independently Yours

      I can only upvote your post once, otherwise I’d upvote three times more. Totally agree.

  • TheBidenator

    Hmmm there was a documentary where California cops behaved kind of like these guys, right down to the drugs and dubious raids what was it, oh yeah “Training Day”….reality truly is stranger than fiction.

  • DahBoner

    “He’s the judge that signed our warrant,”

    These cops have friends in HIGH places…

    • Callyson

      I could get high just looking at this image.

  • shastakoala

    Smile! You’re on caught red-handed camera.

  • AngryBlakGuy


  • Marc

    They were just there to stock up for the weekend.

  • Somehow I think that if you or I were caught on camera robbing a store of its merchandise and then claimed a defense of “Well, without the security cameras being present, no one would have known I did it” the judge and jury would still be laughing as we were being escorted to the hoosegow for the next 5-10 years.

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Only difference between a street gang and the police are the uniforms they wear.

    • JohnR

      It has been said the police are the biggest gang in the country.

    • Redgyal

      And the general skin tone. Ahem. Must always be said in case we forget.

    • Leftykook

      The cop gangs have better weapons and com, and they have Free Lawyers, and they go drankin with Judges…

  • marxalot

    So the monsters pull off their own rubber masks and it’s still the meddling kids’ fault?

  • JohnR

    So it’s not a crime if no one sees you do it, can I use that in court?

    • AntiDerpomeme

      Or, same thing if you didn’t know you were being observed. “I’m sorry, Your Honor, I didn’t know that radar gun was on me, so it is unfair you should use my recorded speed to uphold this moving vehicle violation.”

    • Ryan Denniston

      I thought that failed to be a valid excuse in all those sodomy cases a generation ago…

  • Swampay

    Which rival drug gang was that?

    • Lascauxcaveman

      San’ Anna Blues. Do not fuck with them, they are fucking high as a kite and always packing heat, my friend.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        You fuck with them, and you sleep with the fishes in moat around Cinderella’s castle.

    • sw19womble

      The Santa Ana Fire Department will fuck your shit up, man.

  • SterWonk

    “… crowning Moment of Chutzpah…”

    Hmm… TVTropes has Crowning Moment of Awesome, Crowning Moment of Funny, Crowning Moment of Heartwarming, (and Awesome Moment of Crowning). But somehow no Crowning Moment of Chutzpah; that seems like an oversight.

    • laineypc

      I am disappoint, I thought Awesome Moment of Crowning was going to be something else entirely. That’s what I get for thinking like someone who has given birth.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Well it is TV. Thousands of murders a year are OK, but that kind of crowning is “icky and scary”.

        • H0mer0

          ‘Tis not (no pix of Editrix’s minipixie crowning, eh?)

      • SterWonk

        Bwahahaha! :-)

        Can I interest you in a Screaming Birth instead?

  • Callyson

    The lawsuit argues that the video doesn’t paint a fair version of events.

    “Unfair! That video shows us breaking the law when we’re supposed to be enforcing it!! UNFAIR!!!”

  • toomanyrappers

    If all the police agree to protect these men, there are no good cops.

  • toomanyrappers

    I thought Super Troopers 2 would be better…

    • Objectifer

      Meow, brownie, meow.

  • FauxAntocles

    Every cop is a criminal…

    • marxalot

      And all the sinners, saints.

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Pleased to meet you.

        • H0mer0

          woo woo!
          (oh we forgot the part about needing some restraint)

  • shastakoala

    Now we know why cops spend so much time munching down the donuts.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    TRUE STORY: my best friend in middle school/High school, younger brother growing up was insane! He smoked major weed, was arrested for fighting and got suspended more times than I can count. In fact one time while we were hanging out at my friends house this guy comes running in the back door soaking wet. When we ask him WTF happened he tells us that he jumped in a canal to get away from some cops that were chasing him. And he always use to bitch about cops stealing his weed. I will give you 3 guesses what this guy does for living now!!!


    • DahBoner

      Drink Every Afternoon?

      • AngryBlakGuy

        …shit! Knowing this guy growing up, I would be surprised if he doesn’t drink at his desk!!! Naw but he is cool guy tho

        • Objectifer

          DEA? Cool guy? Does not compute.

          • AngryBlakGuy

            …yeah, maybe it because I got more than a few “interesting” photos of him in his younger days

    • AntiDerpomeme

      Hired for his vast subject matter expertise?

      • AngryBlakGuy

        …must be, because there was no way in hell he passed a background check

    • schmannity

      I represented several police in whistle blower and discrimination cases, and to a man, the thing they said they were going to miss most about their job was the free weed.

    • richardgrabman

      Drug Enjoyment Agency?

    • Sam Hain

      Manages the Rand Paul campaign?…or a cop ;)

  • docterry6973

    So a not-cop burglar can get off by saying he didn’t give consent to be recorded on the security camera? Or does this right only belong to thieving cops? Allegedly.

    • FauxAntocles

      I was thinking that with stop light cams – I didn’t give them permission to film me.

    • Angry_Cop

      Yeah, that as a defense is not going to fly.

  • Ryan Denniston

    “drinking buddy of Judge John Fish”

    Judge Fish. HAHAHAHAHA!!!

    • OrdinaryJoe

      They were drinking like a Fish. Bwhahahahahahahhahaha

      • H0mer0

        there used to be this comic strip about an alcoholic fish in the City Paper. I loved it!

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    “All police personnel present had a reasonable expectation that their conversations were no longer being recorded.”

    Sorry, Charlie, but there’s no “reasonable expectation of privacy” in a public place, just because you think you found all the cameras. If this is the quality of legal advice they’re getting, these cops are going down hard.

    • laineypc

      I suppose there would be no way to pixelate the undercover cops’ faces in any video presented to a jury…

    • Independently Yours

      I hope so.

  • baconzgood

    Baconz doesn’t away snark on “NUBS” or but when I do I ALWAYS post a Jesus Lizard song.

    Say weirdly my friends

  • beatbort

    Hey, Sergeant, no barrel rolls for me…I’m too stoned

  • dslindc

    And the trust deficit widens.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    The old “I didn’t sign a release form, so you can’t use the security camera footage” defense.- Maxwell Smart.

  • vivian

    Do you know who else deserves a good kick in the nub?

    • sw19womble

      I’m going to have to go with “all of them”, Katie.

  • say wha


  • Latverian Diplomat

    Well at least these bad cops got caught because they were reported by one of those many good cops…wait, what? There was no good cop here? They just got out smarted by the head shop equivalent of a nanny cam? Never mind.

  • georgiaburning

    Whatever the outcome of the investigation, this is something that the citizens of Santa Ana need to bring up when the topic of officers’ compensation comes before the city council. Or when a new police chief is hired, which will probably be within a month or two.

    • harryeagar

      This video has been around for months, so you may be overoptimistic about the governing ability of the citizens of Santa Ana and their elected representatives.

  • nightmoth

    That female cop yukking it up like one of the boys and wanting to give the wheelchair woman “a kick in the nub” is pissing me off more than Big Boy gobbling the edibles. The older generation of feminists thought having more women in “men’s jobs” was a good idea, because it would bring compassion and sensitivity into those fields. HAHAHAHA!

    • Angry_Cop

      My first female boss cured me of that misconception forever.

    • jmk

      Sadly, what experience taught was that, to be accepted in a profession like policing, a woman would typically have to be tougher than any of the men around her so that they’d overcome their resentment of a woman on “their” turf and admire her for her balls – otherwise, they’d consider her weak and hound her out of the job.

      Of course, that meant that the women who old-school feminists thought would bring greater “compassion and sensitivity” into those fields ended up modeling their behavior on the worst of the worst assholes already in those fields.

      • doktorzoom

        Something something Margaret Thatcher Golda Meier.

        • jmk

          Précisément, mon ami!!

    • Objectifer

      Also note, she is a Sgt. She’s in charge of this shakedown.

      • Rick Hill

        Shakedown is what it is and more than this occur. This one just has evidence.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Nice little pot dispensary you have here. Shame if anything happened to it.

    • blaid droog

      4 days late. but, lynndie england libel.

  • Msgr_Moment

    If only the weed had been weaponized!

    Only thing stopping a bad cop with a gun is a weaponized pot brownie.

  • MrBlobfish

    You know who else smoked pink bongs?

    • Whale Chowder

      Miss Lindsey?

  • borninatrailer

    There are cops and there are pigs. These are pigs.

  • SnarkOff

    And then Cop #1 waved his hands around Cop #2’s head and was like, “Your head is in a box. Your head is in a box,” and started laughing so hard he almost peed his pants. And Cop #3 was all, “Dudes, shut up. I’m sooo hungry.” And they all went to AM/PM and got a 12-pack of Coors Light and Nacho Cheese Doritos and Oreos. And then they drove around for a while and just looked at the lights and shit. It was awesome.

  • OrdinaryJoe


  • FrenchFriar

    We’re can only guess what is going to happen to the evidence when the judge who issued the search warrant ends up with this case on his docket by some miracle of pure chance.

  • Sebastian Melmoth

    Gee, maybe these fine ocifers can get the great legal mind, Orly Taitz, to take their case. She lives right next door to Santa Ana, in Laguna Niguel.

  • ibwilliamsi

    When do we get to see the video of them stuffing the cash and goods into their pockets?

  • UnsaltedSinner

    “I’m shocked -shocked! – to find that there is pot for sale in this establishment!”

    “Here’s your candy bar, sir.”

    “Oh, thank you…”

    Clearly a bunch of highly trained professionals, this lot.

  • OneDemin EOr

    Rather than busting stoners, sounds like the busters got stoned!

    • zerosumgame0005

      and man, the butthurt from them is YOOOOOOOUGE!

  • CripesAmighty

    (Insert shopworn donut joke here).

    • zerosumgame0005

      now that’s the name for a garage band! The Shopworn Donuts!

    • Markuserektus

      Later on that watch…

  • Independently Yours


  • PirateCafe

    I detest dirty, crooked pigs and the judges who enable them. All of them should lose their jobs, be barred from law enforcement, and the judge forced to show cause why he shouldn’t be removed from the bench.

    • zerosumgame0005

      it does sound like that judge needs some rootin-tootin “investigations” also too

      • DoILookAmused2u ?

        If you start investigating police and judges for drinking and driving, we’re going to need a lot of new police and judges.

        • Whale Chowder

          I’m good with that.

        • Angry_Cop

          Sounds great.

  • Dave

    I am slowly starting to see the value of the current trend of putting camera everywhere. It seems that it is the only effective tool against bad policing.

    Christ on a Cracker, that was painful to admit. It feels like every time I say that, somewhere an angel gets his wings ripped off.

    • House0fTheBlueLights


    • doktorzoom

      Who’d have guessed that the Telescreen can be turned on Big Brother?

  • Steven Posey

    Man, I can really see why so many people join the police force: free drugs, prostitutes, and if not free, discounts at all the fast food stands in town. Couple that with the fact that usually, unless you’re really sloppy, you’re above the law, and as a result of this you can steal and murder and the Stockholm Syndromed American public will find a way to blame the victims and elevate you as some sort of “hero”.

    • Merrimon

      Right. Just the occasional risk of being shot to death over some small amount of weed (e.g. Memphis).

      • Steven Posey

        Oh boo-hoo some porker eats lead and we’re all supposed to feel bad. Meanwhile the cops wasted over 500 people in the first six months of this year, but of course we’re always given the same story when this happens: “Our officer’s actions were justified.” They continue to repeat this line even as the city pays large settlements to the victims of the police.

  • Drew Miner

    picture yourself on a boat at the station, with tangerine rap sheets, and marmalade perps, somebody calls you, you respond rather slowly to a crime scene with kaleidoscope prizes!

    • Objectifer

      Lucy with a badge kicks the door down!

    • Ricky Gay

      Lucy and the guys lose hymens

  • eric

    Fuck them.

  • Man video cameras are such fuckin NARCs! (I bet these clueless cops won’t get the irony of that statement, either.)

  • amindofitsown

    Why must you report on this?? Yeah, some ofimacers were caught on camera consuming pot edibles, insulting a woman in a wheelchair, and admitting to God only knows what other crimes, but so what? Do you hate copz?!1 Why do you hate cops, Wonkette? Why can’t you just let nice police ofimacers commit unbelievable crimes like this without you reporting on it?

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Yeah, yeah, a majority o cops are decent, hardworking people who put their lives on the line every day for us. Unfortunately, they are also silently complicit concerning the small minority on a power trip who believe the badge and gun give them the right to do whatever they want to whomever they want whenever they want.

  • Barley_Brains

    “Fuckin’ cops.” – Verbal Kent

  • Me not sure

    “1 Adam 12, 1 Adam 12, robbery in progress at ….what?….. Was I saying something?…Man I’m sooo fucked up!

  • NoniMausa

    Forgive me for being the eternal innocent, but what LEGITIMATE reason would there be for law enforcement personell to not just disable, but destroy valuable theft detection cameras and audio recorders? I didn’t notice that come up in the cops’ lawsuit.

    • NoniMausa

      And what are those weird flipper crowbars called?

      • Objectifer

        It’s a halligan. Used mostly by firefighters for forced entry.

  • David Trammel

    I wonder if I could use that defense the next time I’m pulled over for speeding?

    “You’re Honor, the evidence from the radar gun should be thrown out because if I had known the officer was there, I would have never driven faster than the speed limit…”

  • Goposaur

    the irony is exquisite, the legal contortions, not so much.

  • KenRob

    Not to worry, they’ll all be exonerated.

  • snarkylicious

    ARGGHHHH! HOW CAN YOU NOT PUT THESE GUYS IN JAIL! Man, if there is one thing that tears at my pro-worker, socialist, communist muslin heart, it’s the fucking police union. Even the Teamsters at their mobbiest would be like, “dudes, you’re really abusing the power and making us look bad.”

    • unionthuggery

      Same, it helps to remember that during a strike these are the assholes that’ll be called in to break it up, and their “union” wouldn’t promote the idea of solidarity at all.

  • Steven Posey

    I want a state to pass “right to work” laws that only apply to police unions.

  • Jado

    Two things –

    1) This is the greatest example of the Homer Simpson Defense ever –

    Marge: You lied to me Homer. You told me you got rid of the gun.

    Homer: But Marge, I swear, I never thought you’d find out.

    2) If these cops are just a few bad apples, where are the Good Apples arresting them and frog-marching their dumb asses into processing? Oh, right…cops don’t GET arrested. Cops get “investigated” Dopey me.

  • Mintie
  • Somnambu

    The “woman” cop should be fired just for the nasty remark she made about the person in the wheelchair.

  • blaid droog

    Quis custodiet ipsos custodes ? spell check lost it’s little mind over this one.

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