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United States of Guns and Bortions

Whee, girls and boy-girls, it’s time for another dive into the mind of The American Voter. Don your brain condoms, and let’s take a look at what U.S. Americans “think” about stuff and things:

NBC News poll

In case you missed it, that’s Planned Parenthood up there at the top, popular like a homecoming queen and way more liked┬áthan everyone running for president, plus John Roberts, who is not running for president of America, but is the self-appointed president of protecting Obamacare from you dumb mofos who keep trying to death panel it, Jesus, STOP DOING THAT!

Also, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (gasp) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, Planned Parenthood is waaaaaay super more popular than the Republican Party. This is no way surprises us, because everyone loves Planned Parenthood, like we already told you a million times, do you even listen? But also, everyone hates the Republican Party, even Republicans, which we also already told you, but hot diggity damn, that was so much fun, let’s laugh at that together again some more:

Pew poll favorability

Americans also love them some guns, or at least the ghost of Charlton Heston. But Americans still like Planned Parenthood the most best of all, and want to take it to the prom and bone in the backseat, because it is awesome, that’s why. Here, watch Perfessor Elizabeth Warren explain it to you.

NBC News notes that “there is a sharp partisan divide in how both organizations are rated.” Because, see, Republicans love guns and think the best way to stop people from using them to kill each other all the time every day is MORE GUNS. But they are very “pro-life” so they hate cancer screening and STD prevention, and they will shut down this government RIGHT NOW to stop Planned Parenthood from doing that life-saving stuff it does. See how that works? No? That’s because it is stupid and dumb, huh, maybe that’s why nobody likes the Republican Party? Just a guess.

[NBC News]

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