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Not what she said exactly but whatever!

So many Hitlers in the news this week, so little time! Barack Obama is doing Hitler stuff by making a deal with Iran to try to keep them from getting a bomb, which is very different from Republicans’ request of can we please just bomb that Muzzie country what scares us so much, and probably set off World War Three in doing so? Either you’re down with that plan or you’re totally Hitler. And now Sarah Silverman, a Twitter-verified Jewish, is one-upping Obama’s Hitler-ness by saying that Planned Parenthood is okay and doesn’t actually sell baby parts, even though it’s obvious that it sells so many baby parts. Coming soon to a mall near you! The Planned Parenthood Baby Parts Store! Right between Claire’s and Wet Seal!  (They do not sell baby parts, and if you believe that you are a fucking dumbshit.)

That Live Action group — whose members have no moral beliefs beyond “BORTION BAD!” and have no qualms about constantly editing videos so hard they don’t even resemble the truth — says Sarah Silverman is using “Nazi logic” when she says things like this:

sarahtweet1

sarahtweet2

Stupid-splain why you think Sarah Silverman is a Nazi, Live Action idiots:

Except for the small detail that organs (not tissue) donated to researchers or medical schools are, y’know, donated. Hospitals can’t just take out whatever might be useful whenever somebody dies; they have to check whether the deceased chose to be an organ donor first. And getting those organs by killing their previous owner is widely understood to be a particularly heinous crime… at least, when the victim has already been born. […]

Poor Sarah must not have been paying attention when destroying embryos to obtain stem cells was declared obsolete way back in 2009, or last year when Harvard researchers demonstrated a new method for giving adult stem cells the useful traits of embryonic ones, no killing necessary. Yes, “doll,” science is indeed real… and you seem woefully unacquainted with it.[…]

As National Review pointed out over the weekend, the Nazis really did use the same logic, with German scientist Julius Hallervorden commenting in 1945 at the Nuremberg trials, “If you are going to kill all these people, at least take the brains out so that the material may be utilized.”

Okay, let’s follow the bouncing syphilis logic, if we can. Taking tissue from first trimester fetuses, which are about the size of your choice of delicious legumes, is the same as using Jew brains for science, because Hitler didn’t ask the Jews’ permission to do that, and the tissue of legumes, which, for purposes of this argument, we’re going to call NEWBORN BABIES, did not sign off on having their bean parts used for experiments, therefore Sarah Silverman is the real Hitler.

Also, Live Action stupid-splains that ha ha, joke’s on you, embryonic stem cells are good for nothin’ anyway, because science. Right? Of course not, we’re dealing with anti-choice shitholes who get paid to lie. Science-splain this, RawStory:

But [Calvin] Freiburger [the Live Action dildo what wrote the article] didn’t read the articles he linked to apparently. Both indicate that while new science on the horizon may soon render research using fetal stem cells unnecessary, it’s not quite there yet, which is what scientists also told the Times.

Oh. So that tissue is still scientifically useful. But wait, they still have a point, right? Because here is a Real Jew, Ben Shapiro, last seen around these parts filing charges because a transgender lady threatened to pants him in front of the whole school, condescendingly talking down to Silverman like the LADY SHE IS:

shapirotweet

To which Sarah Silverman responded:

sarahtweet3

Mic drop. We love you, Sarah Silverman, and Ben Shapiro, be sure to keep a labeled change of underwear handy at all time, in case all these ladies owning your bitch ass makes you boom boom in your tighty whities.

[Live Action News / RawStory]

 

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  • If a child dies, the child’s parent would be the one to decide if parts of its body can be used for research. If a fetus is aborted the mother decides if parts of its not completely formed body can be used for research. Seems reasonable to me.

    • nmmagyar

      The MRA’s will scream that their “children” cannot be used for research without their permission

      • I would be okay for using the MRA’s for medical research. Like studying how mutations can reduce human intelligence.

        • nmmagyar

          Amen, it really should replace animal testing

          • bobbert

            “No human beings were harmed during this test (just MRAs)”.

          • nothingisamiss

            Entirely within all the commenting rules for radicals I agree with you.

  • Lizzietish81
  • dshwa

    Dear right wingers: Stop trying to do science. You are very bad at it. Stick to the things you do gooder, like making shit up and howling at the moon about it.

    • JohnBull

      And waving around flags of defeated countries that didn’t last 4 years.

      • Michael Smith

        French Constitutional Monarchy libelz

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      Meth and moonshine.

    • Reddishrabbit

      I’d say they should go to Hollywood, but I’ve seen the movies they make, so, I’d say save the bus fare

  • “I wish Sarah would just get with the pogrom.”

    -Ben Shapiro

    • FlownOver

      And Sarah thinks Ben Shapiro doesn’t “have to be cunty” about something? I gave her more credit than that – it’s his nature.

  • No one (outside of a few pretty lame thrillers) is killing embryos to make stem cells. Some women are just exercising their legal right to terminate a pregnancy because they can’t or won’t carry it to term.

  • Michael Smith

    Funny, I just came from looking at the Indiana County, PA AGAINST Tax Reassessment Increases page on Facebook (which I encourage anyone to check out), where one unhappy resident compared the Commissioners of Indiana County, PA to Hitler, along with a “read your history, people,” and a “I know this post will be deleted” (its from 12 hours ago).

    So there you have it. Obama, Sarah Silverman, and the County Commissioners of Indiana County Pennsylvania.

    P.S. The tax reassessment was carried out very shoddily and people are being unjustly screwed, but the “resistance” Facebook page has basically devolved into right wing conspiracies and thinly veiled threats to the “liberals” and “unions” that are “raising taxes” (though taxes are technically not being raised).

    • Soon, everyone will be Hitler, and it won’t even be special anymore.

      • Comparing people and stuff to Hitler is so exhausting. It’s like marching ideas to the door of the oven and pushing them inside because you are too lame to find an original thought.

        • Michael Smith

          I’d like to make a .gif meme (if I knew how to do stuff like that), of that scene from Dark Knight where Harvey Dent is like “I am the Bat Man,” except have him saying “I am the Hitler”

      • JustPixelz

        Even Hitler won’t be special any more. “You got a parking ticket? That’s what Hitler and the Nazis did.” … “Ya know Hitler was a soup Nazi too.” … “They cancelled The Duggars? Just like Hitler!”

      • Antimassacree

        They will be a “hitler” just like some are called a “quisling.”

      • bobbert

        Today, we are all not Hitler?

  • dshwa

    I’d take the anti-abortion crowd more seriously if they were in favor of any one policy that would ACTUALLY reduce abortions. Like living wages, expanded health care access, expanded Birth Control access, child care subsidies, equal pay for women, comprehensive sex education; the list goes on and on. (And no, potential deleted commentors, making it illegal doesn’t actually reduce the rate one bit. It just puts it back into unsafe practices.) Contrary to popular belief in the forced-birth crowd, abortions don’t just occur in a vacuum.

    • AntiDerpomeme

      Conservatard logic: if you make guns illegal, only criminals will have guns, but if you make abortion illegal, nobody will ever get pregnant and need a termination again except on purpose because criminalizing something means it won’t happen ever, except if it’s a gun, argle bargle BENGAZHI!!!!!11!!

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        To be fair, it’s hard to think clearly when you are consumed by your “concern” for the 150 million vaginas in America.

        • dshwa

          So they’re teenage boys who never grew up?

          • AntiDerpomeme

            Seems ’bout right. See exhibit A492: Perry vs. Trump almost-probably-gonna-happen push-up/slap-fight/dick-size-comparison battle after school

      • Whale Chowder

        If vaginas are outlawed, only outlaws will have vaginas.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      I think ISWYDT.

      • dshwa

        Unintentional. Realized it after the fact, then decided editing was too much work.

        • willi0000000

          good choice.

      • Gleem-McShinez

        Dyson makes what? Vacuums.
        And Tyson makes what? “Chicken” Nuggets.

        CONNECT THE DOTS SHEEPLE!

    • MrBlobfish

      Sex is dirty and sinful. Unless you’re married. Then it’s just dirty.

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        If you marry well.

        • dshwa

          Or cover your tracks well.

      • If you’re gay married it’s still sinful and you probably didn’t get a cake. And the mere fact that you’re gay married is making other people get abortions.

        • glasspusher

          Me and the missus never formally tied the knot. We prefer dirty and sinful. Well, the dishes are dirty, until we wash them. Living in sin isn’t as dirty as it seems all the time.

          • I have to say, being an urban gay man doesn’t involve nearly as many disco drag queen mimosa brunches as I thought it would. I feel like promises were made when I was recruited that have not been fulfilled.

          • glasspusher

            Like any army, they’ll tell you anything to get you in, and the next thing you know, you’re peeling potatoes…

          • There hasn’t even been as much “potato peeling” as I feel I was promised. Or is that not a euphemism?

          • calliecallie

            I want to go to that brunch too. Sounds like fun.

    • I have the most uprespect for this comment. You don’t like abortions? OK, I can dig it. Do something to make women need less of them.

      • dshwa

        I get great joy making this argument to the forced birth crowd from time to time. If it really is murder, and God really hates it, why aren’t you fighting for these things that would work to prevent it? Oh, you oppose those things. Then you can’t really think abortion is that bad. You must oppose it for other reasons and are just using “murder” to be inflammatory.

      • Bill Slider

        Or, fewer, depending on your native language.

    • JustPixelz

      About half of pregnancies are unplanned. And about 21% — a remarkably high number — are ended with abortion. The easiest way to reduce those numbers to zero! is through contraception. Especially for teens who are vulnerable to peer pressure, hormones, curiosity and parental (hypocritical) moral scolding/punishment.

    • Of course, they would read your list as, “Rewarding sluts, rewarding sluts, rewarding sluts, rewarding sluts, rewarding sluts, rewarding sluts; the list goes on and on.” And that’s what they really hate.

      • Steverino247

        “She had her fun.” I heard that many, many times when I was escorting women at clinics.

        • Barbara Delaney

          While he, on the other hand, just suffered through it grimly I suppose.

        • jmk

          I wish I had a nickel for every nutjob I’ve heard whinge about how “she shoulda kept her legs closed” or has claimed that when a woman has sex, she is implicitly agreeing to become pregnant. I’d be able to finance that new server all on my own…

      • dshwa

        That’s exactly what they do, and then you call them out for being moral prigs with their own words. They really hate that.

  • MrBlobfish

    Freiburger? Sounds German. Totally a Nazi. And Calvin? Calvin? Wasn’t it Calvinism that allowed the rise of Nazism to take place? Nazis who live in Nazi houses shouldn’t throw Nazi stones.

    • dshwa

      Calvinism is the basis for a lot of bad right wing ideology, including our very own teabaggers. I wish there was a hell, just so I could know that Calvin was getting his testicles pitchforked daily by some minor underling demon. (Not being worthy of Satan’s attention would be more devastating to Calvin’s ego than anything else that could be done to him.)

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      If you pronounce it wrong (Freeburger), it sounds delicious and very moderately priced!

      • PubOption

        Should it be freebird? Lynyrd Skynrd used to use a Confederate flag backdrop, it all fits together people!

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Arbeitburger Macht Freiburger.

      • H0mer0

        or if you spell it wrong (Fur Burger), it still sounds delicious to some…

  • Reddishrabbit

    If this wasn’t complete BS, I’d think conservatives would be happy with the free market speaking, since in thier sick imagination there seems to be a massive market for baby parts (get your franchise quickly, going to be bigger then MikeyD’s!)

  • Ryan Denniston

    I just realized that a part of the reason I felt so good last month with three solid Supreme Court rulings was that for a couple of weeks, I got to take joy in imagining wingnut heads exploding across the land. Because the rest of the year, we have to deal with crap like this, because “both sides” and “views differ on shape of Earth.”

  • jviscont1

    Haven’t seen it, but I hear Sarah’s Eva Braun impersonation is spot on.

    • Ryan Denniston

      I’m still stuck on the picture. Do lady undies come with a little hole like boy undies?

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        You need to get out more.

        • CognizantImpiety

          Nah, he needs to get *in* more.

      • nmmagyar

        I’m so happy someone else noticed that

        • Ryan Denniston

          I am self depricating when I try to amuse, so of course, I had to get that little observation out into the open.

          • Mehmeisterjr

            I am self-deprickating.

          • H0mer0

            I had always envied my brothers’ tighty whities with the pee-hole. I didn’t realize until later that most guys don’t even use it (yeah, as if Johnson can’t fit through that door.)

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    I think the idea behind this constant onslaught of fake scandals is not only to rattle the cages of those pre-disposed to believing them, but also to wear down sane, rational, well informed people until they are bitter cynics.

    I think that is a feature and not just a side-effect.

    • Whale Chowder

      Also, to rile up the rubes as a GOTV activity.

  • Spurning Beer

    I keep wanting to give the benefit of the doubt to these imbeciles, to believe that they just think abortion is wrong, like drowning puppies. But it sure sounds like they actually believe that bloodthirsty abortion providers and their liberal enablers want to slaughter pre-babies just for sport, because they’re evil people and basically serial killers. They seem to honestly believe that the research issue is total bullshit, a smokescreen for baby organ selling, and that there is no valid reason a woman would want to abort a pregnancy. It’s breathtaking.

    The saddest thing is that their rabid fervor and absolutism are contagious. Now I want to call them Hitler and shout at them, too.

    • Ryan Denniston

      Projecting themselves onto others is a hallmark of the Right.

  • cousin itt

    If Sarah were Hitler, I’d do him. Her. Whatevs.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      That mustache is gonna leave some rug burn…

  • goonemeritus

    They should just incinerate the embryos like they do with all medical waste. There’s nothing Nazish about stuffing embryos in an oven is
    there?

    • dshwa

      That was last years outrage, remember? That Fetus parts were being used in incinerators to produce electricity (and planned parenthood was profiting from it) oh the horror! As if that’s not what happens with all biological waste.

      • goonemeritus

        I didn’t remember that, can you convert an older Subaru to
        run on fetuses?

        • dshwa

          You’d have to ask a lesbian about converting Subarus.

          • nmmagyar

            I thought lesbians only converted college freshmen

          • HolidayinCambodia

            You obviously haven’t seen my daughter’s Quaker boarding school.

          • nmmagyar

            I stay really, really, really far from even hinting at “conversion” and “minor”. I don’t want to give the deleted commenters anything to work with.

        • eggsacklywright

          You have to strain them real good.

        • Spotts1701

          Yeah, but you really don’t see an improvement in fuel economy. And I think it voids the smog certification.

      • Given all the money PP is supposed to be making from fetus parts, I wonder why they think defunding it would be any big deal.

        • nmmagyar

          It seems counter-intuitive that reducing one funding stream (government payments, grants) would decrease another (babby sales).

          • CognizantImpiety

            You just described the Republican platform: Counter-intuitive.

      • tomamitai

        Wait, I thought they were using them to flavor Pepsi?

        • jmk

          Yes, and in vaccines, also too.

        • Gleem-McShinez

          Of course it’s not Pepsi.
          THAT’S A FALSE FLAG “DOCTOR” PEPPER WOULD WANT YOU TO BELIEVE!!1

    • Ryan Denniston

      There the liberals go again, literally marching them to the oven. And I’ve seen the oven door. Three times in fact!

      • vivian

        (They kept spinning me around. It was really confusing.) – MH

        • CognizantImpiety

          To be fair to Huck, he was blindfolded cuz they were playing “Pin the Tail on a Jew”.

  • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

    Everybody’s gotta be Hitler these days. Won’t somebody think of the Pol Pots in this world?

    • Ryan Denniston

      I think I will start comparing everyone to Pinochet. That way, I can get double the points when I get shots at Hayek in.

      http://delong.typepad.com/sdj/2014/08/milton-friedman-friedrich-hayek-augusto-pinochet-and-hu-jintao-authoritarian-liberalism-vs-liberal-authoritarianism-wed.html

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        I always liked him until I found out it’s not pronounced Penoche.

        • eggsacklywright

          It’s like that card game, pee-knuckle.

          • tomamitai

            pee-knuckle
            Isn’t that what a male person gets when he tries to guide his stream with closed fists?

          • CognizantImpiety

            Relative to your fists, I guess.

      • Biff52
    • Michael Smith

      The next great Facebook stupid quiz:

      Which Murderous Dictator Are You? I Got Stalin!!

      • I got Idi Amin!

        Bonus: All the babby parts U can eat!

      • Antimassacree

        Hoping for Caligula, but will probably get Mussolini. I never get who I’m hoping for.

        • jmk

          Just answer “classic” or “toga” to the question about clothes, instead of “uniform” or “modern.” That should work.

          • Biff52

            That “uniform” answer is what got me labeled Idi Amin.

          • jmk

            I figured it was the “toga” answer that got me Messalina.

      • tomamitai

        I call the killingest killer and dickiest dictator of them all, His supreme omnipotence… God!

        • CognizantImpiety

          I can not imagine why the religious pholks are so violent. Think it had anything to do with “God” killing millions of people in the Babble?

      • LesBontemps

        All I got was a rock.

        No wait, I got Iraq — I’m Saddam Hussein! Donald Rumsfeld gave me chemical weapons to murder Iranians and Kurds even more better!

    • Land Shark

      Hitler evokes the required images for the Republican base …. many of whom are WWII vets and families. It’s the scariest meme they have ….

      • Michael Smith

        Plus most of them would have no idea who any of the other dictators are. They are too busy telling people to “read your history” to read their history.

        • Land Shark

          and this ^^^^^.

      • Steven Posey

        It’s even funnier when you realize that most of their social values are pretty much aligned with Hitler’s. Hitler criminalized homosexuality and rounded up known gays, “deported” various ethnic groups that he claimed were prone to crime and degenerate acts, banned and censored art that he didn’t like/wasn’t patriotic/didn’t glorify war and the military, and believed in his country’s “Exceptionalism” to the point that he deemed Germans the master race. Really, you risked life and limb to make sure this guy didn’t take over the world, but see no problem supporting politicians who use the same playbook but with America pasted over Germany and all of the references to Jews/Gypsies/Russians sharpied out with whatever group the conservatives are currently using as a scapegoat.

        • Antimassacree

          Exactly. Also too, there were plenty of good folk (well, Volk) in the Christianist churches who thought this agenda was just what their country needed to be great again.

          • CognizantImpiety

            Oh, come on. Are you actullly gonna sit there and say that history repeats itself?

            Pshaw.

        • Thaumaturgist

          You’d think Joe Stalin would be scarier to them than Adolph Hitler. I think the reason was that the Gubmint, during the war, laid into Hitler to an extent that has no equal, before or since. I find it interesting that they will hate Adolph before Joe.

          • Steven Posey

            It’s because they fucking love Russia. Just not the scary “red” version that imploded in the late eighties, they want America to be like modern Russia: a completely unregulated, hyper capitalist nightmare lorded over by totalitarian oligarchs who use religion and nationalism to manipulate the public.

            Their America is a less technological Blade Runner with more Jesus and you have no legal recourse when a soft drink company decides to cut corners by using mercury as a preservative.

          • Thaumaturgist

            The RWNJ’s — BTW that’s a certified Myers Briggs personality type — loved to hate Hitler (and Chamberlin) long before the USSR collapsed.

          • Steven Posey

            Probably induced by the US’s massive anti-German propaganda campaigns during and after the Great War. I mean what else can you expect from people that lived through being publicly hated for not referring to dachshunds as “liberty pups” or sauerkraut as “victory cabbage” and were completely convinced that a dying monarchy ruled by a twisted old fruit with a gimpy arm and pointy hat was the greatest threat the world had ever known.

          • tomamitai

            They claim to hate Hitler because they know their own philosophy more closely aligns with his than they’d care to admit. I’m not saying they’d like to march Jews or anybody else into “the showers”, Godwin forbid, but they’d sure as hell like to beat up and “teach a lesson to” or “put the fear of God” into those they consider to be immoral perverts or wealth redistributing commies.

          • CognizantImpiety

            I dunno, seems like their has been no lack of RW lackeys who are willing to propose death to any group of people they don’t like. Abortionistas, teh gehys,
            and obviously anyone who displays tinted skin.

          • H0mer0

            weren’t they getting a hard-on over Putin a few months ago?

          • Steven Posey

            That’s what I was referring to. The cognitive dissonance is downright astounding: To the neocons Obama is an evil freedom hating, wimpy presidential monarch dictator. But Putin is a hyper masculine patriotic man of the people.

            They overlook the fact that he’s a former KGB spook and a real life Bond villain that uses staged photo-ops, the backwards morals of Russian Orthodox Christianity, state controlled media, and goddam assassinations to maintain power. Why? Because he hates dem damn queers and has a tenuous grasp on reality, just like the American right.

            Edit: I’m not sure if it’s a major thing in conservative circles, but I recall a hilariously poorly written and researched book from a while back called “The Pink Swastika” that tried to explain away the similarities between the NSDAP and right wingers by claiming that the Nazis were all gay. Yep, they were very gay people that for some reason forced gays to wear pink triangles, subjected them to beatings, horrifying “curative” experiments, and eventually gassing. They were also apparently all atheists, you know, despite Hitler’s proclamation that he was doing God’s work and the fact that their belt buckles all said “GOD IS WITH US!”

          • CognizantImpiety

            The gubmint was afraid of Stalin’s nukes. A defeated enemy is even easier to villify than an ex-ally.

    • HolidayinCambodia

      I named my former wife’s dog “Pol Pot,” although that’s not a name anyone else uses.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        You must’ve been extremely fond of the dog.

        • LesBontemps

          At least as compared to the ex.

      • CognizantImpiety

        I named one o’ mah dawgs “Get My Pot”, but that didn’t work at all. The only time he got it was when he ate the whole baggie. Poor ol’ dawg, he hung himself in a Texass jail.

    • Relativicus

      We never got to bomb them, so most Americans probably don’t know who that is.

  • goonemeritus

    I wish Sarah Silverman would call me cunty.

    • I just wish she would call me. She is very smart, funny, and interesting. And even sitting on the toilet, she is still beautiful. I’d still rather be with my lovely wife, but Sarah might be a close second.

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        Your wife reads your comments, doesn’t she?

        • Not usually, but better safe than sorry.

          • CognizantImpiety

            She’s standing right behind you, isn’t she?

    • JustPixelz

      The price for that honor — tweeting like Ben Shapiro — is too high for me.

  • Olav_Pompatus

    I went to http://www.ebaby.com, but couldn’t find the section where the babbyparts auction was.

    • You have to go to amazon for the hoogest, classiest baby parts. Just don’t forget to use the Wonkette linky thingy to get there.

  • Relativicus

    I first heard this bit where they allude to “consent” as if it’s the fetus who has to consent yesterday on the Diane Rehm Show. Sadly, as so often happens with guest hosts, the statement went unchallenged.

    Still, Sarah does look pretty hot on the can, and I hardly ever say that about anybody all the time.

    • Ryan Denniston

      Me think fetuses are the only people the Right wants to offer consent. Everybody else needs to be policed by the state. No slut pills, no crab legs, no $15 an hour.

  • JustPixelz

    Republican political correctness:
    – fetuses are sacrosanct
    – eggs are sacrosanct
    – sperm (individually) are sacrosanct
    – already born babbies … fuck ’em

    • And in the Duggar’s case they take that last part way too literally.

      • Antimassacree

        Huckleberry 2016!

  • Latverian Diplomat

    So on the one hand, fetal stem cells are completely obsolete, nobody uses that stuff any more, as all scientitans say. And on the other, fetal tissue is so incredibly valuable that PP makes huge money on the vast fetal tissue black market.

    That kind of self-refutation doesn’t even rise to the level of “Nazi Logic”. In fact, even calling it “Insane Troll Logic” would be an insult to members of the mentally-ill humanoid-monster-logician community.

    • Ryan Denniston

      More like derp word salad. They probably do this 100 times a day, and this one time, they hit something that caught on. OTOH, Obama can be Stalin, Hitler, AND… Chamberlain!

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        And the debil.

        • lesterthegiantape

          actuly is Dolan

      • Bill Slider

        Wilt Chamberlain was taller than Obama.

        • CognizantImpiety

          He got laid a bunch more also too.

    • dshwa

      You’d think that kind of cognitive dissonance would cause actual physiological harm. Alas, it does not.

      • stevola

        Brain damage, apparently

      • H0mer0

        it did a number on the computer who thought Captain Kirk was his creator in Star Trek TOS- “The Changeling”

        (I remember watching it as a child, it kind of made me sad to hear the computer go all weird-like, bleating “Annn-ull-lize!”)

  • Steven Posey

    I can’t remember the exact quote, but George Carlin had a great line about abortion. Something like, “Conservatives hate abortion, if you’re a fetus they want to do anything to protect you. But when you’re born? Heh, you’re on your own! No neonatal care, no daycare, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no nothing! Conservatives don’t give a shit about you, until you reach “military age”. Then they think you are just fine! Just what they’ve been looking for. Conservatives want live babies so they can have dead soldiers.”

    • Ryan Denniston

      Unless you’re born with a trust fund, in which case, you can be groomed to run for preznit.

      • CognizantImpiety

        Well, ya haz to go AWOL and have yer dad fix it fer ya.

  • onedrewthree

    I don’t know if Ben Shapiro got beat up too much or too little, but it definitely wasn’t the right amount.

  • eggsacklywright

    The best part of the babby feetus is the sweetbreads.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Sarah Silverman is my favorite Hitler so far…until they come up with a Shane MacGowan or Joey Ramone Hitler.

    • eggsacklywright

      Parker Posey would make a good Hitler, too.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Sarah Silverman and Parker Posey are now the two Hitlers in my favorite Hitler-themed erotic fantasy. Thank you, eggsacklywright!

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Does “goose step” mean something other than what I think it means?

          • Mehmeisterjr

            In this context it does. Think either Lee Meredith or Uma Thurman as Ulla.

    • stevola

      Johnny would have made a more Hitlery Hitler than Joey.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Johnny was almost more Hitlery than Hitler.

    • Gleem-McShinez

      “She even made me Nazi salute in my naughty place!!1”

  • Brazilian Fart Porn

    Sarah Silverman doesn’t think state­sanctioned forced penetration of women against their will is equal to
    helping them make an “informed decision.”
    Sarah tweeted:
    I’d very much like to anally probe @govwalker each time he
    needs to make an “informed decision”
    say.ly/JrA6cm4
    6:41 PM ­ 5 Jul 2013
    2,534 1,653
    Sarah Silverman @SarahKSilverman
    Follow
    Predictably, GOP/Tea Partiers don’t like the idea of forced penetration for themselves. Because Colorado
    politician Joe Salazar re­tweeted Sarah’s remarks, Colorado Republicans cried “Rape!” Really.

  • Jason M

    You know who ELSE was like Hitler…? No, wait.

    • Batman?

    • Ima Witstup

      Spock with a beard?

    • Msgr_Moment

      That lovely Mr. Hilter with his Boncentration Bamps.

  • RoniOh

    OK, OK I’ll do it . . .

    how is babby formed

    how girl get pregnent

    • H0mer0

      who drew that avatar! I love it!

      • RoniOh

        My Mazel Tov Cocktail?
        One of my twitter peeps who I am not allowed to name but who may be a very funny jewish feminist. I have no claim to copyright on it but it does amuse me so.

        • H0mer0

          I’m impressed with the old-fashioned look of it (like an old Coca-Cola ad) alluding to a stupid comment by Scott Walker.

  • Spotts1701

    This raises a very important question – where are we gonna find a bunch of tiny pens for fetuses to sign the consent form?

  • lesterthegiantape

    Sarah Silverman is the Jewish Hitler… oh no wait, that was actually Hitler.

    • lesterthegiantape

      Of course that’s apocryphal. No need to get academic. I fully suport all etc.

  • Mavenmaven

    Not a good day for gentle ben to be bringing up murder, given the attacks over the last 24 hours by his extreme right wing buddies on the Jerusalem pride parade and the firebombing of a baby.

    • janecita

      Palestinian babies aren’t real, Mike Huckabee said so.

  • Msgr_Moment

    Hospitals can’t just take out whatever might be useful whenever somebody dies; they have to check whether the deceased chose to be an organ donor first.

    My understanding is that 99% of all aborted fetuses are Ted Cruz voters. Don’t silence those votes!!

  • Bill Slider

    While the wingnuts are all worried about Obama marching the Jews to the oven door, I think they need to remember that Hussein was born in Hawaii, or Indonesia, or both. Consequently, therefore, and whereas, the Black man in the White House not only pizzafried the Jews, in negotiations with the 4 nations, plus 3, minus 1, he also done did in the White Christians, the true victims.
    He did a raw deal side deal with his fellow Mooselims involving the Messicans that really harms the true victim Christians, and not in a good way. This is where that minus one nation I warned you about comes into play.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      $arah? Izzat you?

  • Paperless Tiger

    Killing Jews was legal in Nazi Germany.

    It’s really a testament to the power of propaganda that someone can make an idiotic statement like that, and no one even bats an eye.

    • tomamitai

      Like this?

  • Steverino247

    Lest we forget: Sarah looks pretty good in the shower, too. (Not going to paste the link as it’s NSFW)

    • Msgr_Moment

      And her skin is flawless.

      • eggsacklywright

        Dat face.

    • CognizantImpiety

      Thanks a bunch, but I’m not AT work.

      • Steverino247

        Just Google “Sarah Silverman Shower” done.

  • Msgr_Moment

    Jews are the real Hitlers.

  • jesuswasablack

    Is it wrong that I can’t stop looking at that picture of Sarah sitting on the shitter?

    • tomamitai

      As long as you’re not fapping to it in an inappropriate location, I’m cool with it. But then, I’m disappointed that she’s wearing panties, so maybe probably certainly I’m a sexist pig too, also.

      • jesuswasablack

        Really I feel the panties are hot, hot, hot. No fapping for me yet, though I am at work so yes it is an inappropriate location!

  • eggsacklywright

    Bless the babby feetus, frolicking like little veals in the woom.

  • janecita

    May I have your attention, please?
    May I have your attention, please?
    Will the real Hitler, please stand up?
    I repeat, will the real Hitler, please stand up?
    We’re gonna have a problem here…

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Attention Walmart shoppers, we have a special on Hitlers over on aisle 7!

      • Blender_415

        And we have a cleanup of babby parts on aisle 13!

    • Ricky Gay

      “Adolf has left the building”

      • Beaumarchais?

        He’ll be in his bunker.

        • Captain Kraut

          In his ditch, liberally doused with gasoline. A last grand gesture towards the fossil fuel industry?

    • elviouslyqueer

      Paging Mr. A. Hitler to the white courtesy phone. A. Hitler, white courtesy phone.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        “No, Mr. Cheney. You are not Mr. A. Hitler, as much as you might wish you were. We have pictures and everything and you don’t look like them, even though, yes, your heart is about his size. Oh, wait…that’s not your heart? Well then, what happened to it to make it so small? Oh…I see…it’s in your body and it adapted. Still, you’re not going to get this call for Mr. A Hitler. I believe our conversation has concluded. Good day sir. I said good day!”

    • Enfant Terrible

      “Will the dancing Hitlers please wait in the wings? We are only seeing singing Hitlers.”

  • w9anthimos

    I’m old enough to remember when Hitler had his own show on the History Channel.

    • janecita

      All Hitler, all the time.

      • w9anthimos

        Well, he did make a lot of home movies to show his friends when they came over on the weekends.

        • CognizantImpiety

          They needed something to do after snorting all that meth.

        • H0mer0

          like the nekked one of Eva Braun? (I think someone posted it on wonkette a few years ago)

    • tomamitai

      I’m old enough to remember when History had its own show on the Hitler Channel.

      FTFY

    • manndan

      Hitler moved to the American Heroes Channel.

  • How do these fetuses-are-babies people label the headstones when they miscarry? (I assume they hold a funeral for miscarriages.)

    • CalvinianChoice

      See Santorum, Rick

    • jmk

      Not too far off, actually… a lovely new trend among the forced-birth crowd is the criminalizing of miscarriages. Several jurisdictions have toyed with the idea of requiring all miscarriages (or those that don’t happen in the presence of a doctor) to be investigated by the police or the coroner to ensure there was “no human involvement.”

  • Indiepalin

    Her best friend’s nickname is Cunty.

    • CognizantImpiety

      Really? I find it hard to believe you are Sarah Silverman’s best friend.

  • Dylan Black

    Its still ok if I think Sarah Silverman is an awful comedian, even if I agree with her politically, right?

    • nmmagyar

      It’s weird, I adore her comedy but hate her delivery.

    • CognizantImpiety

      Yeah, I guess so. Maybe you could get a job and buy a sense of humor with your moneez.

      • Dylan Black

        AS nmmagyar so astutely pointed out, its her delivery, not the jokes themselves. That makes her a good comedy WRITER, but an awful comedian. Thats why when she says things on twatter I’m able to appreciate them, whereas when I’ve been forced to watch her standup or her show it was half an hour of me not laughing more than once or twice at most.

        ETA: I did really enjoy her incredibly tight t-shirt ACTING in that one episode of ST: Voyager though.

  • clubseal

    Would it break teh Wonkette’s commenting rules if one were to wish these Live Action losers would stumble into a black hole?

    • vivian

      I think that violates Rule 6.

      • stevola

        No poofters! No wait, that’d be an odd number…

  • vivian

    So should pregnant women get two votes? Should all parents get extra votes for their kids? Oh wait, once they’re out they don’t count. Sorry Duggars. If I’m thinking of having a baby do I get 1.5 votes?How many rights do the unborn have? Is a tadpole’s right to life greater than a frog’s right to keep its tasty legs? Why can’t guppies vote? Guppy Rights you heartless bastards!

    See also too: One fish, Two fish, Red fish, Jew fish… but what is the Hitler fish?

    • CognizantImpiety

      U-boats?

  • Me not sure

    Telling Ben Shapiro not to be cunty is like telling an elephant not to be large, smelly, and full of shit.

    • vivian

      (Shhh. They’ll remember that.)

      • Me not sure

        No more zed double nought for me.

        • vivian

          You can still go, just be sure to wear mouse ears.

          • Me not sure

            I can’t hear you my mouse ears are too big.

    • Vienna Woods
      • Me not sure

        Wait’ll it shits.

        • Gleem-McShinez

          Why wait? You can follow Ben Shapiro on twitter right now!

      • bobbert

        Needs moar Magic Feather.

  • TeenLaQueefa

    Wow… I’d get a sex change operation just so I could have her babies, but she’d probably force me to abort them and sell the tiny organs for spending money.

    She’s awesome!

  • PirateCafe

    I love Sarah!

    • Hardly Ideal

      She’s a national treasure. A very crass national treasure.

      • CognizantImpiety

        Stick that derp up your crass, bubba.

  • vivian

    The answer to this is obvious: Hitler Babbies! By the GOP’s own logic, if a pregnancy is terminated it must be God’s will because that babby was probably going to grow up to be Hitler. So we just redefine aborted fetuses (feti?) as Hitler babbies and everyone wins!

    • Gleem-McShinez

      Time to open my new Ultrasound Shop (next to the Babby Bits parts depot) where we photoshop gang signs onto the fetuses little hands!

      This is so wingnuts can feel just as okay about the babby “getting what it deserved,” as they do when police blow away some guy for having expired tags.

  • Enfant Terrible

    Dear Ben Shapiro,

    Killing Jews was *not* legal in Nazi Germany, which is why the Nazis used code phrases like “special treatment” and “final solution” in the documents they produced to implement their, um, final solution. After the war, they were prosecuted in the Nuremburg Trials under existing German law – there was nothing ex post facto about the charges or the convictions.

    Also too, you can only dream of fapping to Sarah Silverman since you can’t find your own dick. You may not even have one!

    Have a monotonous life!

    Your friend,
    ET

    • Unforgotten

      During the trial there was this guy (forgot his name, the general that committed suicide before he was hanged) that kept saying ‘This trial is a sham’, ‘I do not recognize the authority of these (foreign) judges’ and ‘The charges are ridiculous! They don’t exist in the German Law System’ (always changing the way he said that).
      Besides being the monster he was, he was also that pain in the ass that the judges had to remind:
      – That, since Germany was no longer a sovereign state, it’s legal system was in the hands of foreigners.
      – That the trial followed every single procedure in the book, hence the fact that there were non death-penalty-saddled convictions and acquittals (either charges weren’t proved or the innocence of the accused was proved).
      – That PER GERMAN LAW what the Nazis had done was a crime and a violation of the ‘rules of war’, although the scope of the crimes was way beyond what the lawmakers (in both cases) had predicted that could be done against other human beings.

      • Vienna Woods

        Hermann Goering. A sack of shit if ever there was one.

        • Unforgotten

          Thanks.

        • Enfant Terrible

          Even the other Nazis hated him. Kinda like Republicans do now with Ted Cruz.

          Waitaminute, was that a reverse-Godwin?

          • Unforgotten

            Put it that way, at some point Hitler called the guy his heir (and second-in-command).

          • Enfant Terrible

            That is correct, but he fell out of favor when the Luftwaffe failed to establish air superiority in the Battle of Britain. And when Goering tried to assume leadership of the Third Reich in 1945, Hitler stripped him of all his positions and threw him out of the Nazi Party.

          • CognizantImpiety

            The Luftwaffe lost the Battle of Britain because it was tasked with attacking cities instead of airbases. I think that was a Hitler decision after the Allies bombed Berlin.

        • The best thing Göring did was being honest with that doctor who interviewed him in his prison cell, that dictatorship or democracy, you could always start a war if you convinced the people that they were under threat from Those Scary Guys Over There.

          • H0mer0

            oops, he spilled the beans! (BTW, you have umlaut powers?)

          • Biff52

            Thöse can be had via your basic character map.
            Same with those who always claim a møøse bit their sister.

    • Ghost Buggy

      Ben’s brain would melt before he got through the first eight words.

  • Rick Hill

    If I think real hard about solutions for the lizard brained throwbacks who are trying to destroy civilization can I haz Hitler too?

  • Mehmeisterjr

    I posted this comment over on RS yesterday during the Great Wonkout:

    I would not get into a war of words with Sarah Silverman. I especially wouldn’t get into a war of words with Sarah Silverman if I had at my disposal the verbal arsenal of Ben Shapiro.

    • Rick Hill

      It’s not the arsenal(heh heh, arse) it’s that he has the delivery capability of N. Korea.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Sarah demonstrated how very unwise it is to engage in a battle of wits with Sarah, especially if you’re a chucklehaid like the Virgin Ben.

    • TheBidenator

      True…I’d rather take on Sarah Silverman in bed wrasslin’….

      • david green

        With some nice scented oil…

    • whitroth

      “This is gon’ be a battle of wits!” – HW Owl
      “What’s you gon’ use, mon vieux?” – Churchy la Femme
      – Pogo, by Walt Kelley

  • Iron Monkey

    As National Review pointed out over the weekend

    Quoting the National Review…OK that’s enough for me. Good bye and thanks for playing.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      National SOCIALIST Review. Founded by a racist sack of shit, William F. Buckley, as an organ of racism and white supremacism.

      • mardam422

        Heehee. Organ.

      • EricMBacon

        “Now listen, you queer, stop calling me a crypto-Nazi or I’ll sock you in you goddamn face” –Willian F Buckley-crypto-Nazi

        • Enfant Terrible

          Heh heh. That was addressed to Gore Vidal on live TV, at the 1968 Democratic convention IIRC.

    • TheBidenator

      It is one of those “time to stop reading” citations, isn’t it? Kind of like when a wingnut cites the Heartland Institute about…anything, really.

  • LoveSW_Prequels

    Nazi for not giving me nekkid pictures.

  • ahughes798

    Shouldn’t the fetal organ store be a part of the Abortionplex franchise? Sorry if someone already typed this.

    • Rick Hill

      It is but it’s on the secret menu.

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        It pains me that every joke I had was too gross for the internet.

        • H0mer0

          not too gross for your fellow wonkettini

  • Capt.Jim

    I love that little JAP Sarah Silverman cant wait til she is all ready to get knocked up just so she can abort on live teevee just to see their heads explode

    • mardam422

      Does the line to get Sarah pregnant start here?

      • Haribo Lector

        I have to admit, that picture of her on the toilet makes me see her in a new and sexier light.

        • Nikkiru

          With her panties on?

          Ho-kay. Whatever floats your boat. Seeing that picture just gives me the squick.

          • RevZafod

            Well, you know her autobiography was called The Bedwetter.

          • H0mer0

            in one of the “commercials” for her show, she was sitting like that on a mailbox, telling passersby “It’s not what it looks like!– I’m peeing!” She makes bedhead look sexy.

      • Capt.Jim

        I am hoping as much,
        it forms behind me

  • beatbort

    One thing I’ve noticed about wingnuts, no matter what the issue, is their propensity (see? big word) to use a few big words as sort of Elmer’s Glue All for otherwise incoherent thoughts. See above: “particularly heinous crime” “woefully unacquainted”.
    In short, they are woefully and particularly heinous abusers of the English language, which should be a crime in and of itself.

    • Enfant Terrible

      “Avoid the elaborate, the pretentious, the coy, and the cute. Do not be tempted by a twenty-dollar word when there is a ten-center handy, ready and able.” — The Elements of Style, Strunk and White.

  • Haribo Lector

    “Killing an embryo” you say? How do you kill something that is not alive. While you’re at it, why don’t you see if you can chop down an acorn.

    • EricMBacon

      living/alive. Don’t use semantic games unless you want people on the other side of the issue to do the same.

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        I don’t think people on the other side have the wit to play semantic games, to be honest. Pretty sure they think “Semantic” means “jew”

        • Biff52

          I hate those anti-semantics!

      • jmk

        By not making the distinction between an embryo and a living baby, people on the other side are already playing those games…and controlling the narrative, which is exactly what they set out to do.

        • EricMBacon

          I agree, but he should have been more accurate with his words. It may be living or alive, but it is not conscious and it is definitely not a baby. Others can control the narrative with bad ideas and angry voices, that doesn’t mean we need to join the tactics.

          • jmk

            Fair enough…

  • UnsaltedSinner

    I fear the cuntitude is not optional in Shapiro’s case. He was born that way.

  • TundraGrifter

    Sarah Silverman is hotter than a two-dollar pistol.

    This has nothing to do with the thread. I just thought I’d point that out.

    • Enfant Terrible

      Sorry, what’d you say? I was in my bunk.

    • david green

      And so very much more desirable than Hitler.

  • Comrade Wingtardd 5467p

    Seriously, the Iran thing is a no brainer, even for retards. I suppose it distracts the public away from TPP enough, which is a fucking disaster. Wikileaks just released a horde of internal documents and it looks worse than anyone even suspected. Excuse me for being serious for a moment. Ok, it’s over.

    • JayGoldenBeach

      Spot on, mate. TPP is Corporate Tyranny on steroids.

      We must stop electing lawmakers who bend us over to be fisted by Big Business.

      • Hey, while your characterization is someone monotonous and repetitive, for once your premise (TPP SUCKS!) is correct!

        TPP – brought to you by Obama and the Democrats – so if you voted for Obama and any other Democrats, guess what – IT’S YOUR FAULT!

    • MilwaukeeKent

      I’m sure this is only a temporary setback, but ahem, breaking news from Politico, 9:50 PM CST (I think):

      “Top trade officials from the 12 Trans-Pacific Partnership countries fell short
      of reaching agreement on the biggest trade deal in history Friday, potentially
      jeopardizing one of President Barack Obama’s top goals for his second
      term.

      Despite progress on several issues, the talks stalled on several
      longstanding disagreements, including Canadian dairy market access, Japanese
      barriers to auto and rice imports, and U.S. demands for strong intellectual
      property protections for a new generation of pharmaceuticals”
      I’d link to the article but there doesn’t seem to be one yet as I post, that’s from an email “breaking news” thingy.
      I haz confusion on why Obama is so hot on TPP and the GOP so cold on the Export-Import Bank. It brings out the cynic in me.

  • Beaumarchais?

    Lampshade jokes! Those never get old.

  • Tansy Geek

    Does anyone else have the feeling that if Ben Shapiro had been alive during the Third Reich but had not been a Jew, he would have been Hitler’s biggest fan?

    • Unforgotten

      Do you remember ‘Who Framed Roger Rabbit?’, the villain (a judge) is based in Hitler’s best friend in the Judiciary in Nazi Germany. The guy would do anything that his ‘Fuehrer’ would like him to do (even if that was only in his imagination). He even sent a 14 years old boy to the death row. But did he ever got one ounce of respect from Hitler himself?
      Never (Hitler joked about his loyalty and dreams).
      That’s what Shapiro would be (IMHO) in Nazi Germany…

      • BobtheLocksmith

        Like alzheimer boy and antonin scalia.

    • Biff52

      Employee of the week. Every week.

  • whitroth

    Would someone *please* tell me why Planned Parenthood hasn’t filed a libel suit? These scum of the earth are not going to crawl back under their rock – it’s time to hit them with something, and listen to them squish….

    mark

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      Because, while heavily editing something is awful and terrible and disgusting behavior, they did not exactly “lie” they simply edited it to make it seem a certain way and went SEEEEEEE?

  • JayGoldenBeach

    If the religious extremists honestly cared about babies being dismembered, crushed, etc., then they would stand with the anti-war/pro-peace groups.

  • Obot 50549535

    Not to get factual or anything, but no, Ben Shapiro, killing the Jews was not legal.

    • isa

      Don’t be a dick, guy.

  • MilwaukeeKent

    Sometimes I think — listening to talk radio does this — that one reason conservatives oppose abortion is because it might deprive them of disadvantaged kids that they can kick from one curb to the other from the moment they’re born. All are born with original sin, and ready to be lectured to and told to pull themselves up by the macramé straps of their little booties. It isn’t like they care one tinker’s damn for the living.
    It wouldn’t occur to the sputtering “B-but…Democrats kill babies!!!111” crowd that Planned Parenthood has prevented far more abortions than they provide just with affordable birth control and family planning. The GOP humors them, promising to “end abortions” knowing full well poor women will still throw themselves down stairs or resort to back alley abortions, etc. when desperate, and safe in the knowledge that Muffy, whether daughter or wife, can still take a “vacation” at a luxury clinic after an unfortunate dalliance with the stable boy.

  • Josh Borenstein

    When I taught high school, I assigned my students a persuasive speech. One student attempted to persuade the class that abortion was wrong. She opened by comparing Hitler to anyone who has ever had an abortion. Complete and utter drivel. Abortion is controversial. No question about it. And morally there is a gray area. There are good, logical arguments against it; this is not one of them.

    • pyrophilia

      Every time They do that I just want to be like Hitler is the ultimate argument in favor of abortion because if only somebody had aborted him.

  • Calboy

    Ben is 99% fetal tissue.

    • you mean foreskin tissue

      • SK

        No, that’s Rinse Prepuce you’re thinking of

  • I don’t see the bid deal? Left-wingers use Hitler as the measuring stick for all things to the left of them, including other leftists.

    There is nothing worse in modern times than being compared to the physical embodiment of evil: Hitler. Which then means: racist, or a homophobe, or an anti-semite. Those are all evil, no good, baddy bad bad things! Of coursh.

    So in essence, what Evan Hurst is positing, is that when the Left uses Hitler accusations, that’s okay. When those to the right use it that’s a no-no. Cause only the left should be able to use Hitler to belittle and berate their political enemies.

    Your welcome for cutting through the bullshit and getting to the facts.

    • I thought what what Evan was, “in essence”, positing was that Live Action News was a group of ignorant irrational stupids.

      Of course, one can get such radically alternative interpretations when a person pays attention.

  • Hocking Hick

    Actually, Shapiro was half-funny. Silverman was just lame. And your opinion that her reply was a “mic-drop” is plain idiotic. Her reply was in the realm of soooooo not original. And soooooo not-funny and soooooo not funny and soooooo not funny, etc…

    • Sterculius

      You probably giggle as Fox News screams out the Republican talking points every five minutes or so, don’t you? Benghaaaaaaazzzzzzzzzzzzzziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!! Email Server! Live babies butchered for parts! Welfare Queens driving Cadillacs!

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