Donald Trump Risks His Life To Yell At Messicans

The Donald already knows everything there is to know about everything, including Mexico. That's where they make all the rapists and the drugs and the murderers too, and also the Donald Trump piñatas. And when he is president, he is going to build a YOOOOOOOGE fence around it, and it will be made of gold and say TRUMP and it will be so fuckin' classy, you don't even know.

So he's private-jetting down to the border to get a "boots on the ground" tour of the place, courtesy of the local National Border Patrol Council, to see it for himself, and decide just where to build the El Trump LLC Plaza Golf Course Hotel, after he finishes kicking Mexico's ass.

Just one little problem: Border Patrol doesn't want him there anymore, because according to local chapter president Hector Garza, "After careful consideration of all the factors involved in this event," it would look like an endorsement, and Border Patrol sure as hell ain't endorsing that syphilitic limp-dicked taint dragon blowhard. 

The YOOOOGE humiliation of being disinvited to Laredo, Texas, by the Border Patrol might be a problem for a lesser man, but Donald fuckin' Trump is DONALD FUCKIN' TRUMP:  

Too bad those Border Patrol agents are a bunch of PUSSIES who won't even stand up for Donald Trump, but it don't matter, Donald Trump doesn't need their protection, he will look at Mexico and yell words at it, all by himself!

Meanwhile, former Texas Gov. Rick Perry has back-handedly re-invited Trump to Texas, even though he has no authority to do so, so that Rick Perry can SICK BURN him, HAHAHAHAHA! (Also, thanks for reading Wonkette, Rick Perry):

I hope he will explain to the Hispanic Americans he meets why he thinks they are rapists and murderers. [...]

As a known employer of illegal immigrant labor, Donald Trump’s record on border security is non-existent at best and a farce at worst. It’s going to take more than a day trip for him to convince the American people he is anything but a hypocrite when it comes to border security.

Wow, that is actually a pretty not bad insult, for A Idiot. Maybe Perry reallyisthe not-dumbest candidate in the race, like Trump said, because Trump is always right about everything all the time.

[ Fox News / Rick Perry ]